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My life seems to have
fallen apart
A new life ahead
I don't want to start
I seek no pain
I avoid my fears
Friends I've lost
have caused me many tears
Stability vanished
and innocence lost
Many worries invade me
friends, family, and cost
The one person I have left
we fight all the time
This poem has lost depth
since I've made it rhyme
I never have time
for any of my old friends
Although I am sure
I don't want the friendships to end
Nothing seems to flow right
it's all just mixed up inside
Sometimes I wish
I could just run and hide
I've gotten so hurt
and so interrupted
People so fake
children so corrupted
My college is paid for
my clothes are brand name
My happiness is lost
now all I feel is shame
So many breakdowns
so much to do
I wish everyone
wasn't so rude
Relationships torn
and held on by a thread
Because that's what's left
I almost wish I was dead
Everyone says
this time in my life should be fun
Then why has it been a nightmare
was it something I've done
Why can't the words
come out just right
Why do I give up
without a fight
I gain so much knowledge
from experiences everyday
Then I forget it
what's that really to say?
All feeling is lost
as I become numb
From all the pain
and people who play me for dumb
There's no more hurt
and no more pain
As I hear the patter
of the cold autumn rain
My crown does not fit
my dress is too small
What does this matter
to me at all
Who am I really
and what do I seek
Why must people continue
to make me so weak
Maybe it's because
I just don't care
Maybe it's because
Life just isn't fair
-Kristen Ehlers
10/25/99
You find yourself lost
only to hope to be found
You build your walls high
only to have them torn down
You seek to gain knowledge
only to find yourself blind
You venture into the world
only to see it's not kind
You seek eternal happiness
only to find no such thing
You attach yourself to others
and leave yourself dangling
You struggle through the week
only to find your self ill
And when you think you can't go on
remember I love you still
-Kristen Ehlers
12/98
