Ax Me Whateva Ya Want
Ax Me Whateva Ya Want
Dear justin there is this guy and he is really cute in everyway. He doesn't really know me that good, and I'm thinking of trying to get my mac on, except my good friend has liked him for forever, and I don't wan't to get her mad at me. What should I do?
Signed ~ confused chick
Yo confused chick, Ah sorta had a problem like dat. Mah homeboy Lance used to bang my woman. Ya see, they both from the south, so they talk about how they both sleep wit their cousins. Then, when AH started wantin to hit dat, ah thought maybe Lance would get mad. But, den I remembered. Ah am Justin Timbalake. So I done took her off him. Don't worry about your friends. Ya don't need them as long as ya look good and gots an ass like dis.
Peace. - J
Dear Justin,
My name is "superman" and i have a problem. I'm a fat pimp. All my
"friends" in my singing group always make fun of me, and i don't know
what to
do. I am 326 pounds but I only look 200. I'm supposed to be a playa
but I
ain't got no girls to play. Help!
~~Signed fat pimp from Brooklyn
DAYUM!!! 326 pounds yo? It must suck to be you and not look fly like me. Anyway, here's what ya do. You say you are in a singin group? Well, it don't matta what you look like den. If you famous, all the girls be wantin to hit dat. We gotsa a guy sorta like you, he all nasty. But, he picks up mad women. Here's a tip. Dye your hair bright red. Ah am da king of advice, forreal.
Lata - Grandmasta JuJu
DEAR JUSTIN,
HOW DO I GET MY BOYFRIEND TO LOOK AS DAMN FINE AS YOU? PLEASE TELL ME.
ANYTHING, THE HAIR. SOMETHING PLEASE!!!
LOVE,
LUSTIN IN TEXAS
Ah am sorry girl. There is no way you gonna get yo man ta look as fly as me. Sorry.
Dear Justin,
I have a serious problem. It's about my back. It's like this. I
belong 2 a
group called SCYNN*, this isn't the real name but "Daddy" won't let me
use
the real name. Anyway, I'm the oldest and the only way that the girls pay any attention 2 me,
is because I can do back flips and the doctor says I have to
stop
doing back flips 4 a while. What should I do? No1 cares that I went 2
college and the others didn't or that I am extremely good at video
games.
What can I do 2 impress the ladies?
-Paranoid in Pittsburg
Well, you sound like one wack brutha. It don't matta if you went to college. It don't matta if you can play video games. It don't matta that you can do backflips. All that mattas is if ya look fly. And baby blue, da ladies love baby blue. So, wear some of dat, and maybe you get a woman. Rememba, ah said maybe. Justin ain't promisin nothin. Ah'm glad that ah am perfect and don't need no advice.