What do you get when you decide to let 5 morons like *NSYNC cook for ya? A disaster. Here is the transcript from a show that was going to run, but was cancelled. Too bad.
*This story is GREAT, but don't give ME the credit for it. It was sent to me by Brianne. It is one of the funniest things I've ever read! If you like this, look for more stuff from her! Thanks again Brianne, I love it.*
*NSYNC: Cooking Up A Storm
JC: Hello, and welcome to *Nside *Nsync's Kitchen. Today we're making a cake.
Joey: Is it chocolate? Is it chocolate? Please say it's chocolate?!?!?
JC: Yes, it's chocolate, now shut up!
Justin: Yo, yo! Whazzup y'all? Welcome to my....I mean, "our" show. Yeah, dats it!
*Justin bows his head and turns towards Lance*
Lance: *Under his breath* Last time you mess up, you ghetto wannabe!
Joey: First you need to get a big bull.
Chris: That says bowl you idiot, you ruin the whole point of cue cards.
*Chris walks over with a clean white bowl, on his head*
JC: Go back and get a clean bowl, and don't put it on your head! Lord only knows the last time you bathed.
Chris: What is that supposed to mean, are you calling me dirty?
JC: Ahhh, you're catching on, now I'm calling you stupid. Watcha gonna do 'bout it?
Joey: Stop, if you don't start making the cake, I'm gonna flush your stash.
Chris: Yeah, like YOU know how to use a toilet.
JC: OK guys. Stop fighting, we have a show to do here! First, take out the silverwear and ingredients you'll be working with.
*JC collects all the materials into the center of the table.*
JC: Where's the big silver spoon? *He looks at Justin*
*Justin is admiring himself in the spoon*
JC: *Grabbing the spoon of J-Dawg* Give me that!
Justin: What? What did I do? Was it cute? Wait that's a stupid question, everything I do is cute! Silly me.
JC: OK, you open the box of Betty Crocker cake mix, be sure to open the plastic bag, Chris had some trouble with this during rehearsal.
Lance: Let me break the eggs! Let me break the eggs! PUHLEASE! C'mon, I never get to sing let me break the eggs!
Chris: What's with you and breaking stuff.....eggs, lamps, Justin's thumb!?!?!
Lance: Well, he should have kept it out of his nose, and we discussed that. How many times do I have to tell you, it was an accident, he was paying all the attenetion to those girls in the front row, and he wouldn't listen to me. I just want someone to care about my needs for a while, is that too much to ask? *He weeps into his hands*
Justin: Jesus Christ, he whines like one a dem lil' girls, forreal. He needs to be stoppin' dat
JC: SSHHHHH, we're not supposed to mention Lance's sexual confusion. Remember what Lou and Johnny said???
Joey: Let's get on with the cake making. Faster we finish making it the faster I.....WE can eat it.
Chris: Do you think of anything but food and woman?
Joey: *Looks confused* What?
JC: OK, Justin please read the instructions.
Justin: OK, no prob; Don't piss off Lance, whatever you do. Make sure JC runs everything smoothly. Do not mention Chris and Justin's....
JC: *Interuppting* No no no, not Johnny's instruction's, the ones on the box you fool!
Joey: Let me do it, Lord knows you can barely read.
Justin: Are you startin' wit me? You got beef or sumptin'?
Joey: No dumbass, I'm talkin' to the other Hooked On Ebonix spokesperson...
Justin: OK den, dats what I thought.
*Joey rolling his eyes, picks up the box*
Joey: Let's get on with this. *He starts to scratch his head*
Lance: What is it now?
Joey: What is TSP?
JC: Another one of your STDs....hahaha.
Chris: You are so stupid!
Joey: Sorry, let's all stand back, Mr. College man is gonna tell us how smart he is.
JC: I'm sick and tired of you, you think just 'cuz you graduated from college that you are SO much smarter and better than the rest of us!
Chris: Wrong, I don't THINK, I KNOW I am smarter. And it's 'cuz I graduated from kindergarten not college, that I know that.
Justin: If you're so smart, how 'com you don't know how to take a shower, or dress, or do laundry?
JC: Lets not bring clothes into this Justin, 'cuz you're buying the president of FUBU a new car every week. And, baby blue is a girly color, and SO over.
Lance: Um..guys? There is no such thing as 'girly' anything. I know this cuz I'm from Mississippi, and we don't say anything is "girly" there, we just... *Lance trails off from his rambling and looks at the others*
*All 4 of them look at Lance, and let out a laugh*
Lance: That's it, I've had enough, I'll see you backstage!!
*Lance storms off cracking his knuckles with an evil grin on his face*
JC: OK, look here's our lovely cake.
*JC quickly pulls out the pre-prepared cake from below the counter and places it on the table*
Joey: Let me have the first taste.
*Chris digs his hand into the cake and starts to hand feed it to Justin*
Justin: Dat's good, but Chris we talked about boundaries, remember?
Chris: Oh yeah, oops! Sorry, force of habit.
Joey: *Shoving cake down his face* JC, do you wants some???
JC: No thank you, that's fine.
Joey: Oh yeah, you don't eat, you never eat. But this has that white powdery stuff you like, your friend Jerome told me about it. He caught that nasty nose cold from you, ya know?
JC: Shut up fatass, you ruin everything.
Joey: *Looks confused...again* What?
*JC grabs a fist full of cake and shoves it in Joey's face*
Joey: Thank you, saves me the trouble.
JC: Just shut up! Well, thank you for watching everyone, and be sure to join us next time, when we'll be making pizza.
Justin: Oh, I know how to make dat, you just dial up Mario at 555-PIZA, they deliver, so dat show will be real fast.
JC: On second thought, nevermind, this was our first and final show. Thank you if you're still watching, but our only viewers now are people who fell asleep with the TV on. Thanks anyways.
*JC walks off the dirty, empty set*
THE END. Written by: Brianne