Here we go, the second day of Charity Week on Jeopardy. Today we have Chris Kirkpatrick playing to raise money for Alzheimers Disease. Lance Bass playing for Revlon, and our special guess, Miss Britney Spears. She will be playing for...um..oh, nevermind, her sponsor dropped her for being such a skank.
Alex Trebek: Hi everyone, and welcome to Jeopardy. We have a great game tonight, the categories are as follows:
Mississippi
Fashion & Beauty
Plastic Surgery
Justin Timberlake
Skanks, Sluts, and Whores
Lance: I won't do too bad myself! Look, Fashion & Bea.. I mean, MISSISSIPPI! I'm an ace at that.
Alex: All right girls, be quiet. The game is starting.
Lance: Girls?!?
Alex: *Ignoring Lance* Spears, you won the toss, you pick first.
Britney: Um..ok..like, I'll take Justin Timberlake for $100. Wow, like, I always thought Jeopardy was supposed to be like, hard and stuff...
Alex: Anyway, here is the question. What size pants does Justin wear? Brit, you get first shot.
Britney: Tough one..uh.. like.. big? Is that it? I don't really know cuz like whenever we are, ya know, together, he doesn't have any clothes on.
Alex: More than I needed to know tramp.
Chris: Hey, hey, hey! Alex! My man! I know this one! Oh yeah! 36 waist, 36 length. Awwwww yeah! Go Chris! Go Chris!
Alex: Wow, that is right! How do you know that?
Chris: I'm always in Justin's pants! Hahahaha! I'm SO funny! Hahahahaha! 100 bucks! Whoo!
Alex: Can you PLEASE calm down, you little troll. I mean it. NOW! This is national television!
Chris: But I'm Craaaaazzzy Chris! Yee-Haw!
Alex: Here we go again..just like last time. Why do I get myself into this? Lance, pick the next topic.
Lance: Well, I'm from Mississippi, SO, I'll take Mississippi!
Alex: Whatta surprise.. Answer this Lance, what does "ya'll" mean?
Lance: Well, being that I'm from Mississippi, I say ya'll a lot. I'll be going to ride my horse or something, I ride horses a lot, cuz I'm from Mississippi, and I'll say ya'll wanna come.. So, ya'll means..
Alex: Sorry Lance, times up.
Lance: But..but.. I wasn't done..
Alex: Well, that's just too gawsh darn bad, isn't it Lancie!
Chris: Hahaha! Look at the albino crybaby! Oh boy! Hahahaha! Whatta girl! Haha!
Alex: MR. KIRKPATRICK! Calm down right now or I will remove you from the stage! Now, it is your turn to pick a category, go ahead.
Chris: Jokes! I want Jokes! Yeah!
Alex: I figured as much.. Ok, This popular form of jokes usually have the second line, "Who's There?"
Alex: Ok, here's another hint, they usually have the first line, "Knock, Knock"
Chris: I got one! Yo momma's SO FAT, she fell on first street, and landed on sixth street! Hahaha! Get it? Get it?
Alex: Chris, what the hell does that have to do with the question??? The answer was Knock Knock jokes..! Nevermind, forget it. I pick the category - Skanks, Sluts, and Whores, for $400. The question is: This skank is dating *NSYNC's....
Alex: *To producer, so no one else can hear him* I can't say this! This is BAD!
Producer: Do it!
Alex: Ok, this skank is dating *NSYNC's least popular member. He is sometimes rumored to be a woman, she is rumored to be a monkey. Name her.
Lance: I think I know this. Is it Britney?
Alex: Sorry Lance, I said *NSYNC's LEAST popular member. Britney is dating the MOST popular member.
Lance: Oh, than I don't know.
Chris: Ooh Ooh Ooh! EASY! Yeah, yeah! You mean Lance's btich, right??? Topanga! Oh yeah! I'm the king of the world!
Alex: Sorry, that is wrong, her name is NOT Topanga.
Britney: Umm. Is it like Danielle? Cuz we, like, hang out sometimes when I'm, ya know, on the bus having group...
Alex: Shut up Britney! You get the points, now shut your mouth.
Chris: Shut your mouth Brit! Hahah! Shut it! That's funny! Justin's always saying that too!
Britney: Justin loves me, loser! *She makes an "L" with her hand and points it at Chris*
Chris: Hahhaha
Alex: Here is an idea, why don't you ALL shut up, and we'll move to Final Jeopardy.
Lance: I got a better idea, ALEX, Why don't I move on to beating your ass! Don't make fun of Topanga..er.. Danielle!
Alex: We weren't, we were making fun of YOU. Let's get on with the game already.. jeez. For Final Jeopardy, finish this song title:
Alex: *Under his breath so they can't hear him* Damn.. that title is TOO long.. *Out loud* Ok, you got 30 seconds.. write the answer.
Alex: Lance, you go first, show us what you got.
Alex: Hate to bust your hyper-active ritalin needing bubble, but that is wrong.
Chris: Wrong? Wrong...? Oh yeah! Well, your mom is so poor, she thinks the last supper is when ya'll run out of food stamps! Boo Ya!
Alex: On to our next contestant, Britney, what do you have.
Britney: Well, I like ran outta time. I was gonna say "I Love Justin" Cuz, ya know, I DO! *She starts making kissing noises and faces at the camera* Hiya JuJu Babee! I wuv you soooo much. Smoochie woochie pie.
Alex: Get that camera OFF her! I'm through, I'm done. There it was, charity week. Once again, surprise surprise, we have no winner. Hope you, the audience, enjoyed these mindless fools.
There might be another Jeopardy, I have fun writing these. We'll see.