After a hectic day at work, I raced home for a shower and shave. Then it was back into The Peoples' Cavalier for a frantic one hour highway drive. Upon reaching the one-lane bottleneck, I sat back to ponder what lie ahead of me. As I scanned the local radio shows, the main topic of conversation was the nights event. One local DJ was even lucky enough to spend a few minutes chatting with our own Lance Bass! As I grabbed for my volume, they discussed automobiles and alleyways. Lance was so bold as to state that he and his comrades WOULD win in a streetfight with the Backstreet Boys; as NSYNC has the height advantage.
I was a mere halfway up the mountain, when my cellular phone began ringing. On the line were my sisters, from the top of the mountain on a different cellular phone, who had arrived at the venue only 8 hours earlier to secure good parking. Upon reaching the apex of the hill, I was finally on my way in! My sisters were anxiously awaiting me so we could proceed into the venue. They hopped into my car as we proceeded through the 8 filled parking lots, to where my car would rest while I enjoyed this night of excitement. ----- Halfway up a ski slope, a mere half mile from the gate.
Missing the first few opening acts, we sauntered in just in time to witness the Sugar Hill Gang at their finest. My, they do suck! The idea of a group of middle aged men, trying to relive their 70's fame by prancing across a stage while belting out tunes made famous by others is preposterous. As they horrifically belted out verse after verse of such recent top 40 drop-offs as Eminem, Usher, and Naughty By Nature, I couldn't help but feel sorry. Sorry, I say, for the thousands of screaming pre-teen girls who otherwise could have made it through life not being able to answer the question, "Who's the Sugar Hill Gang?" Now, if asked, they can reply that they INDEED know who this musical enterouge is. No one should be exposed to this level of musical agony at such a young and influential age. You could see their tears flowing as they screamed out with confusion. "Hey, thats not Tyrese!", and another would add, "You didn't write Jump Around!". When they finally exited the stage, there was a simultaneous sigh of relief amongst the crowd. All knew that better things were to come.
And minutes later, those better things did come in the shape of Jordan Knight! Americas' favourite New Kids on the Block alumnus wowed the crowd with his cherub like looks and electrifiying dance moves. After a splendid rendition of Prince's I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man", he finished his appearance with the fan favourite, "Give It To You". His performance deserved two-thumbs up from a one-armed man, but was much too brief.
During a brief intermission, I made my way to the beer tent. The non-existence of a line really put into perspective where I actually was. Why, a week earlier I had waited a half hour in the very same alcohol line as 80s' hair band legends Poison rocked the stage, along with other 80's gone-but-not-forgotten acts, Ratt and Great White. But not tonight. No friends, there would be no beer-line tonight, only NSYNC.
As I returned to my 28th row seat to the left of the stage, the lights dimmed and the crowd gleamed as the video schtick began to roll. The fans marveled at the ridiculous idea of terrorists and helicopters. Just as I thought I could take no more, 5 figures began to repell from the rafters. Immediately I was able to acertain that, NO, it wasn't the Brady Kids minus Peter who they had left at home; NSYNC had arrived!
The show was going along as any other previous stop along their tour had, until the crowd noticed something special. What was this? They didn't soar above the crowd! They didn't even sing it! No "Sailing"? Although some might speculate that this was due to the lack of anything to support their fragile bodies above the open-air venue, I disagree. I believe that this was a special treat dedicated to their true fans in northeastern Pennsylvania. It's only my opinion.
A little later, the young ladies got what they had hoped for when Lance Bass strolled to the center stage. When he dedicated the upcoming melody with the phrase "...because Stratton, God must have spent a little bit more time..." (dramatic pause as his voice lowers)... "On you." The entire crowd was abuzz with comments. "Did he just say...?" and "Do you think he really......" they asked each other. Some would question "Does he know God or......?" or simply bluntly state "Where's Stratton?" But most sentiments fell unheard beneath the chorus of "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You", which the crowd was asked to sing along during the first verse. Had I known the words to this heartfelt ballad, I would've obliged to the request
Shortly thereafter, the older 2 of my sisters informed me they would be leaving early to beat traffic to the Official NSYNC After Concert Party, a very shabbily planned 45 minutes from the venue. Sadly, some fans would in fact, not make it to this party in time to see the teenage heartthrobs due to intense traffic.
Back at the concert, if only my sisters knew what they would be sacrificing! The finale, the money-shot, the crowd pleaser! Yes, they were gone before the climaxing line, " Girl were you alone?." The maddening screams had reached their highest peak! Altough television and newspaper would lead some to believe other moments sent the crowd roaring, such as Justin Timberlake's exceptionally lenghty God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You ending, or JC Chasez's world renowned "WHHHHHY", this crowds reaction to Mr. Bass' five-sylable-solo clearly showed who is the most popular man in mainstream music today. The uproar these 4 magic words caused was defeaning beyond anything to ever hit my ears. Although the show would continue on for a few more songs, the fever had subsided. At that moment, the climax of the show was reached, it was considered over. As the audience filed out to return to their cars and shuttle busses, their chants made one thing clear. The show had been stolen by a tip of sunglasses and a booming bass voice. Even as you drove further and further away, and turned back for one last glimpse of the place the magic happened, you could still hear the echoes of their joyous chants....
Montage Mountain - A local, small concert venue in northeastern Pennsylvania. It is not a very good concert venue.
3 Whiny Little Sisters - The oldest of the sisters had won tickets, and therefore the younger sisters were in need of a companion to this concert. I am the best brother in the world.
$85 - Yep, $85! Because, "I need good seats or I'll cry!". (As quoted by a sister of mine) I certainly would not normally pay $85 to see this band.
The Peoples' Cavalier -This term refers to my 1998 Chevrolet Cavalier convertible, due to the fact that it travels literally thousands of miles a month transporting various persons(peoples.) Anyone willing to go to far away places on incredible adventures, usually with no planning before hand, is invited on infamous People's Cavalier voyages. Such People's Cavalier trips include, but are not limited to:
1) Ocean City, Maryland
2) Norfolk, Virignia - This city sucks.
3) Virgina Beach, Virginia - Planet Music rocks.
4) Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
5) New York City, New York - Bootleg movies are fast.
6) Various Denny's family restaurants in 7 different states, and 2 countries.
7) An up-and-coming Toronto, Ontario, Canada journey, where I may once again be philandered into experiencing the wonder that is an NSYNC concert. I'll say again, I am the best brother in the world. If you are over the age of 18 and a hot chick or nasty skank, feel free to invite yourself on a People's Cavalier voyage. Email my sister at AGiddyUp@aol.com for details.
One-Lane Bottleneck - Our local small-town concert venue also includes the hassle of a one-lane access road up and down the mountain, into the parking lots.
DJ - The DJ in question for this interview with Lance was 98.5 KRZs' "Jumpin" Jeff Walker, the second most annoying DJ in the area, behind only 97 BHT's Bill Fox. Ironically, while boasting the worst DJ, 97 BHT is the better station, and also home of the best DJ's in this area, JoJo and Amanda (The latter of which, Amanda, is on the air approximately 17 hours a day).
Automobiles - Lance drives a Toyota 4Runner.
Streetfight With The Backstreet Boys - In reality, the Backstreet Boys would win, as they have 2 "knives".
8 Hours - 8 hours?!? Are they nuts? That was way to early. Asses.
Halfway Up A Ski Slope - Montage Mountain triples as a summer concert venue, popular winter skiing attraction, and summer water slide park.
First Few Opening Acts - Announced to include 5ive. They were sadly dropped, due to lip synching, which NSYNC would have none of. 3rd Storee was included along with Sugar Hill Gang to replace the British wonders that are 5ive.
Top 40 Drop-Offs - Songs that started out likeable enough, but are quickly becoming aggravating. See also Ricky Martins' "Livin' La Vida Loca".
Jump Around - A popular hip-hop/dance song of the early 90s performed correctly by "House of Pain".
New Kids On The Block - Believed to be the first "boy band", their popularity peaked in the late 80s with such hits as "Hangin' Tough" and "The Right Stuff." Also see Joey McIntyre.
Prince - A true musical legend, hero, and inspiration. Best known for hidden, sexually suggestive meanings to the majority of his lyrics. Now known for his unique symbol-like name, and Jordan Knight remaking one of his hits.
Poison - A popular 80's rock band. They played the same venue 7 days earlier to a distinctly different audience then was in attendance for NSYNC. On a side-note, my sister and I may very well have been the only people (excluding venue-employees) to attend both these concerts, NSYNC and Poison.
28th Row - Contrary to popular belief, one may still get reasonably good seats to a "SOLD OUT" concert. This pair of 28th Row seats was purchased from Ticketmaster a mere 4 days before the concert, which was "SOLD OUT" for months.
Video Schtick -You know, that annoying little cinematic Mission Impossible "time-killer" they put on the Jumbovision immediately preceeding the show.
Brady Kids -The 6 children of tevevisions' "Brady Bunch".
Open-Air Venue - There was no roof or rafters.
Stratton - Note that the concert took place in the city of "Scranton"; not the ambiguous "Stratton" that Lance was referring to. Ass.
Official NSYNC After Concert Party - Yet another way NSYNC and their management put money into their pockets at the expense of young adoring fans nationwide. From what I hear, this is also the bands oppurtunity to find some of their more "eager" fans.
"Girl Were You Alone?" - This is the only line sung by Lance Bass on the American NSYNC debut CD. I have been informed by my editor of this article that Mr. Bass also has a speaking part. I was not aware.
Shuttle Busses - Yet another drawback to this venue. Patrons arriving when there is no more parking available at the top of the mountain, must park halfway down at a local Triple A baseball field, or even lower down in select parking lots. These patrons must be shuttle bussed up to the gates, and back down to their cars following the concert, resulting in being stuck in traffic for sometimes hours.
Tip Of Sunglasses And A Booming Bass Voice - When Lance sang his one line in his "booming bass voice", he "tipped his sunglasses".