The 6th *NSYNCER

Whatever Happened To Him?

Me: Um..Hi J. Thanks for giving me the time and letting me have this interview with you.

J: No problem yo, it's all good..

Me: For those of you who don't know, J was the 6th member of *NSYNC and..

J: *Interrupting me* Hold up, hold up right there. Nah, nah. Ah was da first member of *NSYNC, ya gots dat, FIRST.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry.. but I thought Chris started *NSYNC??

J: Hells no! See, forreal, dis da true story. Ah wuz growin up in Brooklyn, right. And ah used ta chill wit Joey. We wuz gittin bored wit all a dat, so one day we decided to go to Orlando.

Me: Why?

J: Cuz, yo! Florida honies be all types a hot, yaknowwhatimsayin? We's just tryin to git some action.

Me: Ok, so then you went to Florida and met the others?

J: No, no.. it wasn't even like dat. As we wuz drivin through Pennsylvania, we see dis ugly fool hitchiking. So, we pulled over our Pinto and offered him a ride. His name was Chris, and he was all jumpin around da backseat, a hyper lil mofo. Ah wanted to drop him off, but Joey's all "No, no, no"

Me: Interesting, I guess.. what happened next?

J: First, we found out WHY Chirs was hitchiking in da first place. He was tryin to git away from his wife. Den, we got lost cuz I was lettin Joey drive, and we ended up in Mississippi.

Me: And met Lance?

J: I guess.. See, Joey's all "Let's go get somethin to eat." So, we go to Burger King, we sittin down, eatin, chillin. All of a sudden, Joey says, "Dayum! Look at her! She is fione!" We look over and see dis chick. Joey walks over and introduces himself. Turns out, da chick was Lance! Joey was so gawtdamn embarrassed, he said he'd take Lance to Florida and teach him to be a man as long as he didn't tell no one Joey tried pickin him up. Lance was like, "Ok, let me grab my purse."

Me: The four of you are off to Florida, how did you meet Justin and JC?

J: Funny story to dat one. We get's to Florida, and Joey and me want to go clubbin. The other guys said OK, but Lance would only go if we went to a gay bar. At first we were all "No wizay", but then Lance looked at Joey with an evil grin and threatened to tell about the Burger King incident.

Me: Ok, J.. what next? Ah don't be gotsin all day, aiight. I mean.. I don't have all day. Your language is wearing off on me..

J: We gets in da club, and we see these two guys gettin all freak nasty up on each other. Of course, Lance runs right up and introduces himself. Turns out dem two was JC and Justin.

Me: Ew.. Oh my God.. now that is just gross.

J: Ah know, right? But, anywayz, we all start hangin, chillin, and we get some management. We had decided, "No betta way ta get bitches den be in a boyband." So, we practiced and shi, and den it comes time to record da album.

Me: What was the bands name?

J: It was INSANE. I was the "I" Then Lansten, Chris, JC went by Joshua.. so he was "A" Den Justin as da other "N". Joey was just plain old JOE, so dats da "E".

Me: I don't get it though, why'd they kick you out.

J: Well, see. Some of da things ah do, Lou thought was good, but not all on one person, ya know. Like, Ah talk in ebonics, ah love Superman, ah sleep a lot, ah can't dance.. Hell, Busta Rhymes is mah cousin! Plus, he said there was already too many "J's" in da group. So, Lou decided he was gonna throw me out, and take all my goods and hand em out to da other guys. Like JC, you really think dat cat likes ta sleep? Da boyz a crackhead! Ya'll KNOW crackheads don't be gittin no sleep. But, he thought if he made JC say dat he like sleep, no one would know he a druggie. And, for yo info, Lance is da bomb diggity dancer out a all dem guys. He dance like he on soul train! Lou was all "Lance, ya gotsta act like ya can't dance. It will be cute." Ah am so mad when I see my boy Joey wearin Superman too, dat's MY groove! Not his. Den, dat stupid lil Justin be talkin like me?? Whatsupwitdat, ya'll???

Me: Wow, sounds like you got screwed royally.. do you ever talk to the guys anymore?

J: Yo, bump dat. Joey be callin me like 5 times a year talkin bout all da lovin he gittin. I so mad! I INVENTED DA GROUP! And they ain't even give me no credit. One day, Ima git those boys, you watch me.. Ima git em, I promise ya dat.

Me: Ok, I think I'm just about done here.. last question, what do you do now?

J: *Looks at me like he is very angry and SCREAMS*
I live in MISS-I-FUCKIN-SSIPPI and work as a dog named POOFOO!!!!!!
Ima git them, damnit!!!!!!

There ya have it, the story of "The 6th Man". He never told me his name.. just that it starts with J and ends with I, I guess I'll never know.

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