We WILL Take Over the World....hehehe!!!!!!

Okay, the year...2004. Pop music is non-existant after the breakup of all boybands 5 years ago. It all began with the 5 year-old, who spent her Tooth Fairy money on a permanent tattoo of Chris Kirkpatrick....then all hell broke loose. It wasn't cuz of the pain or lack of control her parents had over her, it was the fact that she would have to live with a picture of HIM on her shoulderblade for the rest of her life. The media ate that one faster than the drive up service at Speedy Burger. So sadly, the face of the music industry turned to heavy metal and country. Yes, yes, I know, what is this world coming to?! That's the same thing I, Rachel Wright, was thinking....so I called my partner from back in the day, Jen Pearlman, or 'Big Momma' as they used to call her, and we fired up the ol' business, TransVes (TransVestite Records Inc.). We got together and worked out the wrinkles....no, massive dents, of our new plan. Finally we have come to share with you, The Fans, a group like no other. Yes, we will once again own all of your ears for the time being....watch as UFO flies overhead!!!

Whoa!!! Wasn't that super?!

Kids, kids, have no fear, UFO is here. Jen and I have created the boyband of the future. In order to successfully recreate the boyband sound and look, we have taken a member from each of the old boybands, did a little rearranging of their personalities, and Waaaala!, we have UFO (Ultimate Funky Ones).

Here we have....

Justin Timberlake, formerly of the group N Sync: Justin used to mesmerize the little girlies by stripping down to a wifebeater, and thrusting uncontrollably. Now, a more mature strapping young lad, he likes to stand off to the side and practice his signature move, the 'raise the roof,' all by himself, for the entire concert. His supersexy voice makes the kiddies scream, which gives Justin a migraine, which makes him yell at Jen and I, which isn't good, which means Justin doesn't get a lot of solos, which is fine with him.

Brian Littrell, formerly of the Backstreet Boys: Ooo, la-la, baby...after 5 years of hiding in that dark, dark, dark closet...Brian has revealed his little secret to us. Yes, I know ladies, this may be a shocker, but our little B-Rok likes to put a little motion in Nick's ocean. The 2 lovers have professed their bonerfried love...whoops, I meant, bonafied love!! When they get breaks, they like to picket in front of the governor's mansion in Florida, trying to get gay marriages legal, so those to can tie the knot after the many painful years of fighting off Howie...and no, he isn't invited to the wedding! Brian is our lead soloist...he likes to help Joey write songs about his and Nick's kinky sexual escapades.

David Perez, formerly of C Note: 2 words....Muy Guapo (VERY goodlooking)...this latin lover will make you wanna do the cha-cha...all night LONG!! After Sweet D. had a infectious sty in his infamous winking peeper, David wooed us over with his super-sexy voice (Oh, BABY!!) and boyish latino looks....and Oooow, those evil, yet sweet and innocent brows, did me right!! He now likes to strip down to a hot pink thong....and play Mango on SNL. In his free time, he likes to perfect his spanking, so when he IS on stage, he can knock em dead..."cuz you can't have the Mango! NO!"

Jeff Timmons, formerly of 98 Degrees: As you may remember, Jeff was branded with a tattoo of a 98*, to symbolize his former group. Well, we can't have that now that he is in UFO, can we? To solve this little problem, we took him to have that removed, but a slight mishap gave him a severe infection in his arm. Sadly, it became life-threatening, so we were forced to amputate. Now our one-armed (but might I add, that ONE arm is still quite ripped!) Jeff, appeals to thousands of amputees, and war veterans, expanding our already wide fan base.

Jason (J.) Brown, formerly of 5ive: J., was once the rapping bad boy from the UK...but after that MINOR hotel incident, that ONE night...well, he has changed his ways, and God help us!! J. now insists on praying on stage, and singing Gospel revivals...while prancing around in a full nun's habit...hat and all. It can be embarrassing at times, but if we tell him to stop, he screams "GO TO HELL, ALL OF YOU....DAMN YOU DEVIL WOMEN....DON'T TELL ME MY BUSINESS!!!!!" soooo, we just let him sing out...god have mercy on us!

Joey Fatone, former singer of N Sync/now songwriter extraordinaire for UFO.

Here are some of the songs he has written for UFO:

Shimmy Up My Palm Tree

Yo Yo Yogurt

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Oh yeah thrust it AGAIN!