Aight, now you all saw MTV's ALL access right? Lol...I KNOW you did, cuz everyone and their damn dog has im'd me about it. Well, because I am getting sick and tired about everyone talking about it...first off, NO I DON'T GET MTV THIS SUMMER...STOP RUBBING IT IN!!!!!! Ahhhh, I feel much better now. :) Anyhow, after hearing all about it from numerous people, I realized that MTV makes it their personal mission to find the ditziest, trashiest people to represent all N Sync's fans. I mean, I understand it wouldn't exactly make the guys look good if someone like myself was to have been chosen...but hey, at least it would be entertaining! So...without seeing the original All Access that was aired on MTV...I made up my own. So enjoy...
*Starts out showing N Sync on their bus, and my sister Rachel and I at home...talking to the MTV cameras.*
Jen: Aight. Here's the deal kids. We are going to an N Sync concert tonight, and YOU get to join us! Woohoo, aren't you excited. We have a master plan to get backstage, and to have a little...*ahem* fun with the boys during the show.
*A little while later, after arriving at the concert in our large black rapist like van with a sign that says "Honk if you like sex!" (hoping to catch Joey's eye if N Sync's bus rolls by), we take our seats. We have already argued with five security guards, and harassed about twelve dozen teenies with a Howie poster. The concert has begun..the opening done...Here We Go has started.*
Jen: Ok...now this is one of the many highlights of the evening! You guys will love this one. *reaching into her backpack, she pulls out a box of tampons and grins evily into the camera.*
Cameraman: What are those for? Um...
Rachel: *begins laughing* Simmer down cameraboy...um...I mean Steve. This is just a fun little thing we thought up. Ya know.."yes yes yes here we go...nsync has got the flow"? Well, we can't just have our boys flowing all over the place now can we?
Jen: No we can't! So that's where THESE come in! *holds up box, the Tampax label showing prominently as she smiles cheesily into the camera---free plug, free plug!*
*The two girls rip the Tampax box open and grab handfuls before flinging them up onstage. Jen nails Justin in the head with one, which bounces off him and goes down the back of JC's coat. Rachel ended up beaning Joey in the groin, and getting one caught in Chris' weave. Lance ran around quickly onstage, gathering the feminine products so the others wouldn't have to stop their dancing. *he on the other hand..can't dance, so it didn't matter*
Rachel: Now wasn't that fun? I thought so!
*As the concert continued, the two made comments throughout.*
Jen: Can you say CHEESY? That stupid speech Lance gives before GMHS is pure swiss. I am just waiting for him to mess up the damn name of the city he's in someday. THAT would make things interesting. I can see it now...*deepening voice* "Portland...uhhh, I mean..Philly...GOD must have spent...a little more time on all of YOU!"
Rachel: Exactly WHY does Chris always look like he has a horrible wedgie during Sailing? Just out of pure curiousity...either it's going up his butt like nobody's business, or his package is seriously smooshed.
*Soon, sadly enough, the concert was over.
Jen: Alrighty! It's over...hey you little *glaring at an 8 year old as the little girl shoved past her*...*looks back up and smiles when she realizes that she's still on camera*. I mean, what dears these N Sync fans are!
Rachel: *nodding in agreement as she rolled her eyes* Oh yes, not rabid at all!!!
Jen: So now, we have to get backstage somehow. See, we got the front row seats...and surprisingly enough, the dollar I waved at Justin didn't exactly make him offer up the BSP. So..we have to implement our plan.
Both Girls in unison: Find Joey..the walking STD.
Rachel: See, he's a pimp daddy wanna be...and so J and I are on a mission. He's the key to the rest of the boys. We've got it all figured out. *explaining as they made their way through the crowd, trying to find anyone who resembled Joey.*
Jen: Also, ya know, he shouldn't be extremely hard to find, cuz of that florescent hair color. Oh look! *points toward a large group of trashy looking bimbos standing near the backstage entrance.* A large group of hoes! Looks like we hit the Joey jackpot! Quick Rach, rip my skirt..I need a high slit, stat!
*Rachel helps her out, ripping the skirt really high, and as the material let out a large...RIIIIIIIPP...they noticed a familiar figure come running toward them.
Jen: Oh look...surprise surprise. I'll give you five guesses as to who THAT is, and the first four don't count.
Rachel: *pretending to gag* Does he have radar or WHAT?! That is so sad.
*Anyhow, the plan worked, Joey leads the two girls backstage. Jen is getting annoyed as she tries repeatedly to swat Joey's pawing hands OFF of her...that slit just lures him in! Finally they meet the other guys..*
Rachel: So you're Lance eh? I was thinking that if I dressed in chaps and whinnied a bit, you would wanna Giddy Up! Haha.
*Meanwhile, Jen is harassing Justin...and STILL trying to keep Joey off of her, who has begun drooling.*
Jen: So Justin...what's UP with your hair? You do realize that it's gonna fall out soon don't you? Also, what's UP with you and Britney. For real man, I really could care less if you have a woman, but why her? I mean, she's talentless...not to mention the fact that she dresses like a two cent hooker and wears fake hair! *swats Joey away* Would you GET OFF ME PLEASE? *shooting Joey an annoyed glare*
*Finally after Jen insulted JC's teeth, the bodyguards had to ask the two girls to leave.*
Jen: Yeah, well he needs to learn to take constructive criticism like a man! And get a freakin dentist, would ya?! *shouting over her shoulder as two big black men carry her outside*
Rachel: Guess they just can't take a little teasing eh? *shrugs* Who knew JC would break down in tears like that...weirdness.
Jen: Well, that's it I guess. Thanks MTV! We had a blast!
*THE END! I hope you all enjoyed!*