Crusty Chris is a 27 year old male from Pennsylvania. Despite his age, he tries as hard as he can to remain youthful. With his dredlocked pigtails and his Viagra...this old man can get along just fine!
Take a look at his stat sheet:
WARNING!: This man takes Viagra, so something could "pop" up at any given time!
Pimp: He is pimped by the illustrious..yet dimwitted Steve Fatone. Yes, Joey's older brother is the supplier behind Chris' infamous Viagra use. With Chris' old age, and Steve Fatone's um....good use of marketing(?)...they make an unbelievable duo. Sadly, Chris doesn't get too many offers when compared to the other guys.
Experience: Well, although his experience is limited...he has been known to take a liking to girls wearing Catholic school uniforms. Mothers...keep your children locked up if they are Catholic. He really doesn't have a whole lot of experience, but his imagination makes up for his lack o lovin.
Favorite Place to get Crazy: He likes to get it anywhere he can...so he doesn't have a preference. COME ON PEOPLE! He is an old guy...give him a break!
Favorite Techniques: Well although the boy wears a shirt that says 'Pervert 69'...that is a hard call. Basically he just pops the Viagra and goes to it before he ..loses the ...well you know. Lol.
A Word From The Geezer: Come on people, I am not THAT old. I know I am not as cute as Justin, but I NEED to get some. I have like NO customers, even though I am popping the Viagra pills like there is no tomorrow. Hell, I will let you even spank me silly and call me a Backstreet Boy! I am BEGGING you here! Give me some ACTION!!
I Can't Stand the Smell of Depends!! Take me to the Planet!
Thrust It!