Specimen 1: Lance "I Try Desperately to Dance" Bass
Poor Lansten...a Mississipian with two left feet that are only truly useful in line-dancing to Boot Scootin Boogie. He has some problems with the detailed choreography that he must learn for N Sync, but that doesn't stop him from making up his own little dance moves to wow the girls. Ya'll KNOW what I'm talkin bout. He has a couple of them to make the girlies scream. The first one is when he kinda does that step-back, cross over...step-forward kinda thing. The second is the "tap chest...then wave and shake head"...sorta the "I know you can't feel my pain". He uses it frequently when they are improv dancing. I know ya'll have noticed it...please tell me I am not the only one.
Specimen 2: JC "I am a Spastic Conductor" Chasez
JC is one that really likes to feel the rhythm of his music. Especially in his long gangly, very veiny arms. He frequently likes to conduct the band...although never quite seems to get the notion of FACING them. Basically the only way to describe JC's...*ahem*..UNIQUE way of grooving, is to imagine an epilectic seizure after downing an entire bag of pixie sticks. Although he has tried and tried to get his thrusting perfected, all I have to say is that he still looks like he is in pregnancy back pain during the 'You Got It' group thrust. My GOD?!...after a few years you would think that Justin's thrustin action would wear off on ONE of the group members.
Specimen 3: Justin "I Can Thrust Like No Otha Motha" Timberlake
Ahh yes, we have reached the 'thrusting till I poke out an audience members eyes' member of N Sync, otherwise known as Justin Timberlake. And girls...God MUST have spent a little more time on him. Hehe...knowwhatimsayin? All I have to say is that I, along with the rest of America must work for UPS cuz I always am checkin out his package. Lol. Let me tell ya...it's not hard to miss. Justin TimberDick at your service! Anyhow, along with his signature 'thrust it like there is no tomorrow' move -- Justin likes to 'raise the roof'. I think his arms only move one way...and it's up in that position. Wouldn't you just love to have a Justin doll? "Pull this string and it thrusts and raises the roof simultaneously!!". Haha...
Specimen 4: Joey "I Think I Play Soccer While Touching Myself" Fatone
Joey Fatone comes from a long line of...well...untalented morons. But anyways, he is a little too kick happy if you get my drift. I think he might have been a Rockette in a past life, however, he now is too large to lift his legs into those high kicks. So, he just pretends he is dribbling a soccer ball or something. You can notice it during IWYB when they are all just kinda doin whatever. Justin is groovin to his own tune, Lance is doing the crossover step back, step forward, and Joey is doing his little kick thing. I don't even know WHAT to call it. But, he also has another move...sorta like "hi I am touching myself...ooh look, I am moving further down...oooh baby!" Or SOMETHING like that...it's pretty sad either way you look at it if you ask me.
Specimen 5: Chris "I am Too Old To Move" Kirkpatrick
Ok, now I know all Chris fans will disagree, but after seeing that boy in concert 4 times...he cannot dance. I think it is the arthritis kickin in, cuz he is RUSTY! I mean, the only thing he can do without his joints creaking is jumping up and down...which the boys do quite frequently by the way. So yeah, get Chris an ice pack and sit that boy down before he hurts himself.