Well, well, well. School's starting up again, and college students, sick of the tedious (and for some, not so tedious, but just really really boring) work schedules that dominated their summer months, are ready to party hearty. I was at work today, contemplating the numerous frat parties that would soon be occupying my weekends, when I thought about how friggin hilarious it would be to imagine the guys of NSync at one. Ya know, minus the popularity, minus the teenyboppers, and minus the rabid fans taking pictures. Just them as normal college guys, showcasing their personalities as we know them (or exagerrate them..haha). Of course, we can't forget the blantant drunkeness that prevails at frat parties, no matter WHERE you go to school. (What would a frat party be without the hot guys in a drunken stupor? Lol.)
So, follow Rach and I on our adventure as we imagine N Sync as hot (and not so hot) college frat boys...we won't disappoint you... :)
*Aight, here's the scene. College campus, frat house, huge friggin party, drunk guys everywhere...Rachel and I weave our way into the house...*
Jen: Good god buddy, watch where you're goin! *someone whizzes past her in a braided frenzy, about knocking her cup over*
Chris: Sorry! It's CONGA time! *begins swiveling his arthritic hips ala Ricky Martin. As he conga's around the living room, livin la vida loca, he's bumping into people, spilling drinks and generally pissing people off*
Rachel: Ohhhhhh dude, check out THAT drunk ass guy! *pointing at a tall, slightly muscular male running after Chris's conga line. The tall guy is wearing nothing but boxer briefs, athletic socks, and a lampshade on his head. Don't ask...we didn't*
Jen: *shrugs* Well, at least he's not afraid of making a risky fashion statement. *shouts as Justin runs by with the lampshade wobbling on his curly head* Nice UNDIES! *reaches out and snaps the waistband of his boxer briefs, but he's too trashed he doesn't even care. He just gets a little tipsy and falls on his face as he turns around to see who is messin with his drawers. Jen laughs hysterically as a blond guy approaches her*
Lance: Hello! Welcome to ITK (I Tappa Kegga..ROTFL)! You ladies look spectacular this fine evening. *Examines Jen's face closely* Is that Cover Girl's Ravishing Raisin lipcolor you are sporting?
Jen: *throws strange look at her sister, who is fighting off a tall brunette in a toga, and strangely enough, a green leaf like halo* Uhh...something like that. My name's Jen...who are you, and who's lamp boy? *points to Justin who has passed out on the floor where he fell, his underwear becoming rather bunched up. Drooling uncontrollably on the carpet, he doesn't even notice the conga line stepping on his hand as they roll by for the five hundreth time*
Lance: Well, my name is Lance..and I'm from Mississippi.
Jen: Uhh..ok. *rolls her eyes, thinking, like I care dumbass, get on with it*
Lance: And this drunken fool...is Justin. This is the first time he's really drank this much. Some girl keeps refilling his cup. *points to the keg where a hoochified girl stood*
Jen: Interesting...so she's a frat row hoe eh?
Lance: Well, I suppose you could call her that. Her name's Britney. She's really taken a liking to our friend Justin here.
Jen: *laughing* I'm sure she has. Looks like she's also taken quite a liking to the wonders of silicon.
*Meanwhile...*
Joey: Hey sweet thing. My name is Joey..but you can call me Fred Flintstone.
Rachel: And why's that? So we can go make your bed rock..or some equally lame pick up line that you had drilled into your head when you pledged here? Whatever. One tip, find some clothes...you and a toga just don't mix. It's rather naseating.
Joey: *not giving up* I am Caeser...and under this sheet is Little Caeser. Let us conquer you!
Rachel: WHAT? *laughs uncontrollably* Looks like you and 'Little Caeser better just stick to your 'Pizza Pizza'. Ok? *walks away to the area where a bunch of people are dancing, stepping on Justin as she passed by him.*
*Later that night..*
*By this time, the party is really hoppin. Chris is spinning records...with his butt cheeks. Wearing a cowboy hat and some god awful leopard chaps that he borrowed from a friend of his named Howie, he's really mixin the hell outta some funky tunes. Into the oldies, but goodies, he's spinnin such classics as 'Pump Up the Jam'...repeatedly. Jc is out on the dance floor at this time, reiterating the reason why they usually don't let him out of the basement. He's dancing around spastically, like an out of control wind up toy. Standing there watching him, the girls realize he is doing the African Anteater mating ritual from the ever popular 80's movie, 'Can't Buy Me Love'. (Ahh the classics) As he is seizing around the floor, some crack whore jumps up off the couch where she was fighting off Joey (who had found a new victim), and joins him in his violent act of dancing. *Later the girls find out that the heroin chick is named Bobbi, aww how cute*
Justin finally wakes up and is doing a keg stand as Britney TRIES to give him a blow job, but he thrashes his legs around wildly to keep her skanky ass away from him. While thrashing about, he punctures her overinflated chest and as her implants pop, she flies around the room like a deflating balloon, and about takes out Joey. *Yes, that is nasty, but hey she pry would..ok?* Lance is wandering around, filling people's glasses in his french maid uniform. Damn he looks good in fishnet...jk. Anyways, Rachel and Jen get sick of watching Chris' hairy butt about get caught in the turn tables as he's mixin up Ice Ice Baby, so they weave their way out of the house and move on down Fraternity Row.