First off, we decided that we are DAMMMMMN lucky that we don't live anywhere near Orlando. Or basically within a one day driving distance of Florida. Because, us, being the *master stalkers* that we are...would be all up in Justin's yard, stealin flowers, and grass, 'n stuff. Ya know, just general harassing. And of course, we would have to rent the house that I rented before...the one right across from his.
So that would get WAYYY expensive. Ifyaknowwhatimsayin. Also, posting bond to get sorry stalking selves outta jail would get a little spendy. You can only attempt to steal JC's license plates SO many times before the cops start to get a little testy.
Also, I mean...with Lance endorsing Claire's with such high praises, we would have to make our daily sweep of their N Sync stuff. And who can forget the horses we would buy in order to trot past his house with? I mean, he would come running after us screaming for Toby...let me tell you right now that if you want Lance, that technique works wonders.
And who can forget the local Wal Mart stops, cuz Chris' mom works there, and we are all about supporting her 500 kids. Anyhow, we would buy a lil sumpthin from each department that we could leave on the boys' doorstep. For Justin, we would see that boy in Feria Hair Colorant for Men. JC...I think that he needs to be a Crest kid, so a LOT of toothpaste for him. Chris, some Metimucial and Rogaine...and for Joey...what else but Trojan condoms. Lance would get his favorite Revlon cosmetics in a cute lil makeup bag of course.
After we finished with that we would have to go on a major shopping spree in order to get clothes to wow our men in. I would buy myself some cheetah jumpsuits, cuz that's what Justin likes. Also, I would go for the Britney look with a whole lotta feather boas...assorted colors. I can't forget the stilleto heels, cuz ya know how Joey likes those hooker shoes. Of course, also spending obscene amounts of money putting my hair in a weave to catch Chris' eye. For Lance, I would put my leather fringed vest on...cuz of the whole cowboy/Mississippi thing, he would absolutely love it. The finishing touch being my armfuls of WWJD bracelets for JC.
Kat on the other hand, would get a little confused about what the look was that she was going for. I would attempt to explain to her which group we were wasting our money on to impress...but I think because of the large bottle of Mudslide that she downed, she forgot. She would go out and get herself a big ole 98* tattoo, of course, not delaying to get herself a shower ring sized eyebrow piercing. Also, wearing red cowboy hats and leopard vests are a must. You can't forget the winking and drooling that will be done during this time however, because she knows that Howie will love that. (I tried to explain to her bout how Howie isn't in N Sync, but she didn't want to hear bout it). And the finishing touches are her faded, torn jeans ala Donnie Wahlberg and her mall hair.
So, that is just a small sample of the things we would be squandering our money on if we lived in Orlando. So our advice to you is...if you are going to Florida: Mastercard- leave that piece of shit at home before you get your ass in serious debt. :) Isn't that a lovely parting thought. Anyhow...yeah...more later if we come up with it. Haha.
Just Thrust It Back Before I Get In Any More Debt!