Teen Choice: Since WHEN Is Gloria A Teen???

Well, well...well. All I have to say is that it was very...uh...interesting that a big fat SUMO introduces Brit. BUT, how retarded is having her open up the show? I mean, it almost turned me away from watching it at all. Seeing her in tight pants and a boob shirt really doesn't qualify as a fun filled Thursday night. I especially loved the bleached hair hon..real cute. Looks like you spilt a little too much of it on Christina Aguilera, as well as leaving her dryer on a little too long. On the subject of Christina...man that girl had some poofy hair. But...at least she has talent, unlike...ahem..Britney. Not to mention she's so toothpick like that she makes Brit look like an oversized cow left to graze for a little too long. Ya know, I hear semen is really high calorie..perhaps that's Bitchney's problem. *ok, that was nasty but I couldn't resist*.

Anyways...N Sync wins, mostly wearing bad outfits...yada yada yada. What else is new? Lol. I love Jc's nice cream turtleneck and plastic coat. Where on earth did he find that? Salvation Army? And we have Justin going for the Harley papa look with a leather vest over a sweater. Niiiice.

Then, the moment I have waited for finally happens, and I am so disappointed in our men. They sing the Music of My Heart song..which is really pretty by the way. BUT...Joey had to go and ruin it with that funky ass floor length coat. WHY must he always wear the trench coat style? AGH! Then...Jc busts out in the 'used car salesman' look with a horribly cheesy pleather suit coat. Cuuuuuute. *gag*. Then JuJu was wearing some weird ass fleece thing, nice lapels buddy. Lance...all I have to say is hot dammmmmmmmmmn! Boy, I don't know WHAT kind of mind control you are gaining over me, but it's working wonders. (Kat..a million apologies girl..but I have an idea...we can just alternate Lance and JuJu...unless you want Stevie. Jk.) And...because Kristin and I have a bond over Chris...(we screamed for him when no one else would)...this comment is for her too. Seriously his weave looked fierce...I was totally lovin the glitter in it. I don't know WHO's idea that was, but I want to kiss them. Maybe I am on crack, but I thought it was a different touch, that looked really funky. Loved it! :)

Ohhhh god. Then right when I was about to turn it off, Ashton Kucher (or howEVER you spell it) came out onstage with only undies on. Ye-haw! He's from IA baby!!!! See...people from the midwest are cool and crazy kats too! (As JC would say) I was like drooling on the TV. So yeah...

Finally...Britney came out and I got a sneak preview of what I get to see this weekend from the 7th row. Yeah baby yeah...reminds me to bring a barf bag so I can get sick in that instead of on my sister's shoes. Lol. Anyways, she comes out and I about die laughing. First off, I think she borrowed Joey's coat...no joke. Besides, it's an extra extra large to fit over the 'Twins'. Lol. Then, looking closer...I noticed her greasy blonde hair is super messy. Oh no! But then, I shrugged, figuring if you just got done doing Justin backstage, then it's gonna be a little messed up. Lol. Oh come on people, you know he taps that ass whenever he gets a free moment or his hand gets tired of doing all the work!

Well, that's all kids. Hope you enjoyed. Hahaha..

Aww Dude, I hate surfing...take me home!