'It's tearin up my heart...' Whoops, where is MY head today? Lol...ok on with it...
We will start out with our good old buddy Chris. Big ups from me. He looked actually..*gasp*...good, with a hat on and short hair. I also give him major props for taking such a fashion risk by wearing a hat with the words N SUCK. I was lovin the 2 SECONDS of camera time he got, but ya know. Life's not fair, and then Justin gets all the fans. Whatever.
While we are on the subject of hair, my roommate and I were discussing today how hair makes such an impact on the way you look. It also helps if you are not especially pleasant looking from the start, cuz then you can only get better, right? Anything is seen as an improvement! Anyhow using Chris as an example, with braids, he's ...interesting looking. Without, he's normal looking, and on his way to being a fine speciman of a man. So in my personal opinion, I think that good hair makes all the difference (which is why I always freak out about mine!). Which brings me to my next topic of discussion...
Fro boy, also known as Justin, has jumped (no...fallen) off the tip top of the Jen's hot-o-meter, and crashed into the pits of bad hair hell that also house Howie D. and AJ. With that Kobe Bryant imitation hair (JUSTIN YOU ARE WHITE! Get off the CRANK!), he is seriously right up there with Joey on the disgusting list. And let me tell you, that's not a fun place to be. In fact, his hair repulsed me to the point of not only hardly being able to watch TRL, but making me feel a certain shame and nausea in calling Justin my favorite. He made a big mistake with this hairdo. Big. HUGE. Now, Justin's outfit terrified me...because he had a shirt tied around his waist. BIG NO NO Buddy. Seriously, it looks a little...no, wait...a LOT gay. Why on earth would a guy want to tie a shirt around his waist anyways? I know!! Maybe he wanted to accentuate his girlish figure (his teeny tiny waist and childbearing hips. ROTFL).
Lance...ahhh poor, poor fashion victim Lance. Um, what's with the baby blue pants Lance? This isn't a runway, it's TRL for god's sake. Pray you don't run into any NYC thugs cuz they would boot your bed headed hairdo'd, baby blue pant wearin', Mississippi lovin' ass all the way to Hong Kong. Lol. By the way, his hair was interesting, not bad...but it looked like he just got back from a delicious romp in the hay with...Joey?...or was it Justin? Anyways...
Moving right along, Joey's ensemble. WTF was that? Ok, if Lance dressed up in case Versace was watching, Joey's just keepin it real with Puffy and Snoop. Seriously, what a moron.
JC--I just have to say...'Wowee'. That boy keeps it real...tru dat yo. Lol. I appreciate JC because he knows how to stick with a good thing. Basically he just looked hot. And that is hard for me to say about ole Hamster Teeth, but hey, it didn't show his teeth, so I was happy.
So we've come to the point system of the game. It's called Jen's sick of busting on your outfits and bad hair, so she's gonna just give ya some points. This works like the following: The N Syncer with the most points gets the most props for style from yours truly. :) Enjoy...
JC: Although I had to take off points for the turtleneck, not to mention the fact that it was ribbed (ew), JC escaped the critical eye-o-Jen with an 8 out of 10 possible points. You go JC! Lol. J/k.
Chris: 7 out of 10...only 7 because the camera barely stopped on him. Hence me not being able to judge properly. That sucks.
Lance: 6 3/4 out of 10. Lol. I had to take off for the tight shirt, tacky jewelry, and blue pants. Not to mention his hair kinda bugged me, use a brush dammit.
Justin: Close to dead last because of the hair situation/gay looking outfit. Repeat after me Justy: "Wearing shirts tied around my waist makes me look like a fairy, and the Ricky Martin dance impression doesn't help much either." (More about the dance later). So anyhow, Justy got a pathetically low 4 points out of 10. The only redeeming feature was his adorable smile. :)
Joey: Oh wait! I made a terrible mistake. Joey's not last in the looks/style competition! OH wait....YES ...he is. My bad, sorry to get ya'll excited there Joey fans. Hahah. Here's a shocker for ya: Joey looking like an ass on television. How strange. Riiiight. Haha. So, Joey being the repulsive streetwalker that he is, gets a mere 1/2 point out of 10. (And he only gets that point because he spared my eyes from the wretched day glo chemical accident that he calls hair by wearing a hat that he pry bought off some superman loving Ma$e impersonator.)
Ok, now that House of Style has concluded, let's move on to 'Idiots on Parade'! (Aka the personality division).
Aight, starting with Justin the camera hog. Damn that boy is obnoxious and this time his usual hotness wasn't available to make up for his moronic comments/faces/dance impressions. Basically I want to tell Justin ..."You are RARELY funny! People only laugh convulsively at your jokes because they think you are hot (most of the time), and want to get in your pants!! DUH!". He is funny sometimes, when he's with Chris, but I think that's when he's not TRYING so hard to be funny, ya know? Anyhow, the dance moves--just stop. First of all, Ricky Martin is a flaming homosexual that can't dance for shit. Hell, I don't think he even knows any dance moves besides shaking his ass in tight pants. Cuz I've watched him attempt otherwise and it wasn't pretty yo. Lol.
Next, we have JC...king of retarded comments. Why on earth do they hand that boy a mic if he's not singing? It just makes him look like an idiot, and makes me seriously contemplate the possibility of drug use. (Not that I didn't think that before, but ya know, he's on crack, what can I say?).
Lance, he got some camera time, but when he did that little booty wiggle, I got a better view of his package in those tight baby blue pants than I ever wanted OR needed to see. THANK YOU.
Joey--mostly just the scary booty shakin he had goin on. Lol. I was laughing because Carson and Gloria were talking about how they had to shut the shades and N Sync couldn't turn around and wave. Blah blah blah, all cuz people were like RUNNING across the street to get close to the TRL studios. Gloria made the comment that the girls would pry like the back view of the boys better anyways. So Joey starts shaking his big rump around, trying to be all studly. Woohoo *gag*. I was yelling at the tv: "Yeah you go Big Red! That'll repell those girls right back across the street where they belong! Oh wait! Is that someone shielding their eyes and collapsing in fright of your big bum? YES! I believe Joe's fat ass is responsible for killing yet another innocent N Sync fan!"
Chris--hardly any airtime...no comments.
Now onto the point part of the game! Isn't this fun?!
**The points for 'Idiots on Parade' is a LOT different from the previous point system. So pay attention dammit. Lol. More points you have, the worse it is. For example: 10 out of 10...you are an extreme idiot. 0 out of 10 = you got no airtime, but hey at least you aren't an idiot!
Justin: 8 out of 10 points. The Ricky thing pushed me over the edge, not to mention the fact that he just is plain annoying.
JC: 5 out of 10 idiot points. Stupid comments said in that damn babyish voice grate on my last nerve. Ugh.
Lance: 4 out of 10 points. I would say he gained all four of those points by hip shaking in those pants. Not cool.
Joey: 4 out of 10. What?! JUSTIN is a bigger idiot than Joey in this interview? What is WRONG with me!?! Anyhow, the 2 booty shakes made me vomit. 'Nuff said.
Chris: 0 out of 10 points. Chris is NOT an idiot! He wasn't on camera enough to annoy me! Sad, I know... I almost cried.
So that's my review, long I know, but interestingly insightful. *gag*. Hope you enjoyed...you know you did, don't lie to yourself, it's not healthy. Lol.
I HATE BAD HAIR! Take me HOME!