Aight, I just got done watching the Teen Choice awards and I have a few comments to make. Just what you wanted to hear eh? Lol. Moving right along...
I was laughing my facken ass off when those ladies came out and did Moulin Huge. Seriously. I think Velveeta was my favorite.
Did anybody notice Stever? Strangely, he's not important enough for the front row with his fatty brother. Instead he's sitting behind Joey. Must suck to know you're just a nutrider eh?
I think that Usher's dad and Justin's mom had a love affair, producing one white child and one black child as fraternal twins. Seriously...they look SO much alike, especially now that Justin doesn't have any hair, it was frightening.
I wanna know who told Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle that modifying those yellow dresses they wore to like...the Billboards or AMA's or whatever one time...into NEW outfits was a good idea. Seriously, those had to be the ugliest outfits since...well, since what Britney Spears was wearing, but that's another story.
I do have to say though, that Michelle should be the one in the middle all the time. She's way prettier than Beyonce anyways. Plus she's not a fame whore...spotlight hog, whatever. Lol.
It looks like Ashton Kutcher and Justin have been sharing dressing tips lately. What's with the hick baseball caps anyhow? It's pretty sad when your grandpa is cooler than you are because he's been wearing redneck hats since 1946. Pssh.
I must say that when N Sync won their award for best single or whatever, I was both frightened and appalled by Mike Brady joining them onstage. Oh wait, that wasn't the Brady dad during his bad 70's perm phase, it was JC Chasez. My bad.
Also I would just like to say that Lance is hot and I wanna know what the hell Justin was wearing. Who made his damn necklace? Sitting Bull? Pocahontas? Stop dressing in a dark closet with an overzealous boy scout as your fashion consultant. Ass.
I'm happy to announce that Melissa from Dream has volunteered to be Britney Spears' double in the video "Lucky" if they ever decide to remake it. Not a fan of that girl, nope, I'm not.
Jessica Alba is adorable, did anyone else think that? She seems so sweet. I was happy she won...well, whatever award that was. Lol. I pay attention, riiiight.
Aaron and Nick's performance...hmm, what can I say about that? I mean, seriously, the clothing alone scarred me so badly that I am almost at a loss for words. I think Nick stuck his finger in a light socket before dressing like Elton John on a massive crack attack. Scary stuff people, that's all I have to say. Aaron, on the other hand, although dressed in more fishnet than half of the hookers in Hollywood, is so cute. Even though he's only like thirteen. Whatever.
Did anyone else notice that Britney and Justin could seriously be clones? They have the same mannerisms and stuff, just little things that they both do. It's rather...disturbing, yet cute at the same time. Makes me wanna boff, I dunno bout you. Lol. Also I hated her outfit. Why? I do not know...I just didn't like it. She looked stupid. Cute hair though.
Aerosmith is still cool at 50 or however the fack old his mullet is. I hope I'm that cool when I'm a dinosaur.
Carrot Top was cracking me up left and right, when he was doing the "It's Gonna Be Me" thing. Oh lord, I was laughing really hard. And then the part about Britney's "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah" from "Baby One More Time" sounding like she's trying to start a car? That was pretty damn original, I'd never thought of it like that before but it really does sound like that. Score.
Why is Sisqo wearing a bandaid on his face? Just curious. I hate him.
Beverly Mitchell just needs to shut up already. Nobody cares, and nobody likes your stupid show. Get out of my face or something, ya know?
Ya know, even though Justin and Britney are totally adorable together, they both make me want to vomit. Seriously, they're like SO cute that it's repulsive. That whole kiss on the cheek thing when she won her award kinda makes you feel the way you do when you eat too much cotton candy. It's like so sweet that you feel like you just ate a horse sized sugar cube. Kinda makes ya nauseated just thinking about it eh?
J. Lo won Choice Female Hottie. That was interesting. I always just thought she was old. Lol. I must say that she looks much better with Cris Judd instead of P. Diddy. Score for her I guess.
JRT Bitch won Choice Male Hottie. Surprise, surprise. Chris Kattan was making me laugh though so I didn't pay too much attention to one word Justin was saying. I laughed so hard when Chris (Kattan) was like, "I swear, I'll dance so hard on you!" and then started convulsing like an epileptic JC all over the stage. Fun stuff.
Meredith Edwards...the only reason you have fans is because Lance is your manager. I hope she knows that. She bugs me. Oh, and Solange...wtf kind of name is that anyways? It sounds like a brand of cough drops. Pssh, get off my tv.
And finally, Mandy Moore and Mandy Lauderdale, the two most obnoxious women on the planet with the same name. I hate Mandy L's hair and I hate the way Mandy M. talks out the side of her mouth. Oh, and did I mention she's 17? Cuz lord knows she didn't, which is a shocker.
All right, I'm done, I've rambled enough. Word.