THE AWARD WINNING NEWSLETTER OF THE U.S.S. LAGRANGE

JULY/AUGUST ISSUE

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CAPTAINS LOG

Captain Nevin Alley Announces Summer Picnic Plans!

"Well another newsletter is out. We appeared in Stow's 4th of JULY parade, but no rocket car mainly due to cost. Another outing with the Reign of Terror to Canal Park for an Aeros Game on August 12th. Sort of a double header with the completion of another game before the main game starts at 7:05pm. You can see both games for your ONE ticket price. Our ANNUAL Lagrange picnic at Waterworks Park in Cuyahoga Falls is August 26th. We have the BIG CUYAHOGA Shelter from sunrise to sunset with the main eating and activities from 1pm to 4pm. Fun for the whole family, so please come!"

LAGRANGE CO TURNS DOWN 'PRETEND' PROMOTION Chapter president Nevin Alley has turned down a proposed promotion from someone within the STARFLEET organization. The proposal would have magically increased his 'make-believe' Captain rank to a 'make-believe' Fleet Captain rank. "These people think they can buy my loyalty that cheap?' Nevin responded angrily. "They think some stupid promotion can make me automatically play palsy-walsy with everyone who comes along? Someone doesn't know me very well. This is a matter of integrity and honor!" Nevin's outburst was then punctuated by a series of expletives and thrown objects. "Nevin Alley can't be bought!" LAGRANGE TO CATCH DOUBLE HEADER AT CANAL PARK The Lagrange will undergo an outing with the local Klingon club, the Reign of Terror at Akron's own Canal Park when the Akron Aeros meet the Bowie Baysox on August 12th. The game will commence at 7:05pm with the completion of another game postponed from earlier in the year. Then the Aeros will take on the Baysox in the regurlarly scheduled game. For ticket info call Nevin at 330-923-7854 STEWART SLAMS USA In an exclusive interview in the July Issue of George magazine, Trek actor Patrick Stewart ripped into the American way of life in a blood-curdling rant that made headlines all across the country. "A lot of America's global actions stink," said Stewart, "The U.S.'s international focus is on money." He then accused the United States of an "insular, bullying attitude" before claiming that "America should take a hard look at itself before trying to heal the world." Stewart, himself a citizen of a country that has tried to dominate the world for several centuries, causing untold human suffering and misery, continued his rant: "It's laughable that the U.S. considers itself the land of opportunity," said the British actor who makes over ten million dollars for each of his Star Trek film appearances. "How can you be truly free when there is so much poverty and poor education?" According to the article, Stewart spends much of his spare time in Washington D.C. where he moonlights as a lobbyist for Amnesty International. THE VOYAGER FINALE: Possible Plot Possibility! The following is a rumored possibility for the series finale of Star Trek Voyager: Voyager comes under attack by a race of violent, xenophobic aliens that accuse Voyager of breeching thier space. After a two week conflict, Voyager exits their space but is heavily damaged and barely functional. Sick of constant attacks on the ship and becoming increasingly depressed, Janeway contacts Q and pleads him to send them home. This is all in the first hour. Q responds and begins the process of judging the crew to see if they're worthy of being an exception by the Continuum. The crew is asked to recall most of their deeds and when the item of Voyager helping in the Q war comes up, Q agrees and sends them home. However, in doing so, Q does not realize that he is upsetting the time line and when Voyager returns to Earth they find it in the grip of a temporal storm. Janeway is then left with the decision of keeping her crew in the Alpha Quadrant and watch Earth be ravaged by a temporal storm, or to enter the storm and close it so that Earth will survive, but strand Voyager once again in an unknown part of space and time. After much consideration of the consequences, she decides to enter the storm and close it, saving Earth. Arriving on the other side, they find themselves in front of the Caretaker's array.... BELTRAN BLASTS VOYAGER Voyager actor Robert Beltran, who was, ironically, in Patrick Stewarts homeland, was making headlines. During a tour of the United Kingdom, Beltran spoke out about the low-rated Trek series, now entering it's final year. "I don't mean to denigrate my work on Voyager, and I'm not saying anything that probably the rest of the cast wouldn't say either, but you know Star Trek is pretty much a formula show, and the episodes taht we've seen on Voyager are pretty much variations of the same episodes from Deep Space Nine or The Next Generation." Beltran was particularly upset with the episode that brought back the KES character, and the actress who played her - Jennifer Lien.

STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE ON DVD A special Edition version of ST: TMP is currently being readied at Paramount for DVD release. Director Robert Wise is completely re-editing the film to reflect his own vision for it. Evidently, ST:TMP is the only film of Wise's that he was not able to edit himself and this has bothered him for years. Reportedly, the new version is faster and more coherent than the original version. It will also be utilizing Foundation Imaging, the effects house that does the special effects for Voyager to redo a number of scenes. NEW 'RADICAL' TREK IN THE OFFERING Star Trek: Voyager executive producer Brannon Braga said the new TREK television series will represent a radical departure from previous series. Braga and fellow Trek executive producer Rick Berman are still conceptualizing the new series, which will replace Voyager when it wraps up it's seven year run at the end of this season. "We want it to be Star Trek at its core, but we also want it to change the concept to a radical degree," Braga said. "It's not enough to plop another captain in a starship. Not to sound pretentious, but its got to be something that takes Star Trek into the 21st century. ANNUAL CHAPTER PICNIC TO FEATURE EATING, OTHER THINGS The Lagrange annual picnic will take place on August 26th at the ever-so lovely Waterworks park in beautiful Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. As usual, we will have the BIG Cuyahoga shelter(as opposed to the less-highly regarded Miniscule Cuyahoga Shelter) from sunrise to sunset with the main activities taking place from 1pm to 4pm. Bring your own grillables and anything you might want to share with one and all(hopefully eatable). Feel free to bring picnic type games to share as well, such as jarts, badminton, or everyone's favorite-dice. As usual we've conned NEVIN into bringing the charcoal, grill, plates, utensils, condiments, napkins, table coverings, beverages and the "Crystal Clear Party Ice". Questions? Call Nevin at 330-923-7854. LAGRANGE ARTICLE Lagrange Aricle goes here too! article here