Date: December 14-17th, 2000

(My God, has it really been THIS LONG since I’ve written?)

Author: Jvantheterrible

Rating: R, for M/M ROMANCE! Yes, schmoop. Sorry. It’s Christmas.

Category: Sk/M

Disclaimer: Characters belong to CC. I am borrowing them to get me through yet another unemployment spell.

Author’s Notes: Hello, lovely readers! It’s true, Jvantheterrible is not dead...although, being fired this close to Christmas makes it pretty hard to get out of bed in the morning. RL angst has gotten the best of me, I’m afraid. I’ve missed writing, and I’ve missed all of YOU. Perhaps this will help. Happy Holidays to all of you. I would also like to say...Robert Patrick is doing a pretty good job...even if he ISN’T DD. And, I was wrong to bust DD in my last story’s notes. I apologize to all of you whom I offended. But, it STILL doesn’t do the same thing for me when Doggett is all worried about Scully as it did when it was Mulder (i.e. the rescuing and such). Some things just never change.

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"Fox, come ON. It’s only two weeks until the big day, and if you don’t snap out of these Christmas Blues, we’ll NEVER get a tree up...or anything to put under it, for that matter." I stand in front of him with my arms folded across my chest, purposely blocking him from the television screen, hoping that it will help change his mind. He glares at me from his seated position on the couch, then leans forward and reaches around me so that the television’s remote control will work.

"You make a better "pain" than a window, Walt," he informs me as he scoots over on the leather sofa and tries to ignore me completely, immersing himself instead in the ‘Sci-Fi Channel’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 All Day Marathon’. "Oooh, look Walt...it’s ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ - better known as, ‘The Day Fox Mulder Got Into the Holiday Spirit’." He gives me a smirk that begs for an argument, but I ignore him in kind.

"Fine, Mulder," I sigh resignedly, "If you’re going to act that way, then I suppose I will just have to call someone ELSE. Maybe AD Kersh would help me get a tree and decorate it." As I walk to the closet to retrieve my coat, I look back over my shoulder to see if he’s had any reaction at all to my threat, but he raises up his right hand in the ‘okay’ symbol with his thumb and forefinger. I give him a bird-like symbol of my own with MY right hand after I pull my jacket on and slam the door behind me as I enter the hallway.

"Goddamn Grinch," I mutter as I punch the button for the elevator. My cellphone rings as I exit the elevator downstairs - perfect timing, I think as flip the cell open. "Skinner," I grumble into my cell, surprised to hear Dana’s voice on the other end.

"Sir, it’s Scully," Dana says, "I was wondering what you were doing this afternoon."

"Agent Scully, what a surprise," I tell her, my jaw still clenching from my encounter with the Bah-Humbugger upstairs, "I was just attempting to get your partner to accompany me out to get a tree for the condo. Unfortunately, he is more engrossed in the television at the present time than going out with me to get "festive" as you so eloquently phrased it yesterday. Care to do some shopping?" I ask her, certain that she will turn down my offer. Who in the hell wants to go shopping with ME of all people?

"As a matter of fact, sir, I was just thinking about doing some shopping myself. Do you have ANY idea what Mulder wants for Christmas? I could use some insider information," she says with a laugh. Scully has been SUCH a good sport about her partner’s and my relationship; Mulder and I have been together since last New Year’s, and Dana seems to appreciate the fact that Fox has someone ELSE to entertain him these days. She’s been busy with a relationship of her own, and constantly dotes over Mulder and I, telling us how "cute" we are together. I’m not sure if having a relationship with one of my suboordinates is that smart to begin with - never MIND having said suboordinate’s partner calling us "cute"...oh well. I knew what I was taking on from Day One, and despite his misgivings about the Holiday Season, I still love him more than anything. Even if he is a Scrooge-Loving Son of a...well, it IS the holidays. Hmph. "Meet you at the mall in thirty?" I ask her, unlocking my sedan door and strapping myself in.

"Great. Just don’t tell Mulder," I tell her, causing her to laugh again - and contributing a chuckle of my own. Maybe it won’t be such a bad day after all, I think as I pull out of the condo parking garage and head for the zoo that the DC mall has surely become.

**************************************************

Finding a parking spot becomes a bigger pain in the ass than Fox, and I am quite surly by the time I find one - I believe that I have inwardly cursed at MOST of the people that I am sworn to protect in the city. Why can’t people drive this time of the year? Is the snow falling from the sky really THAT distracting? It must be. I park the car what must be two miles from the actual mall and get out, pulling my coat closed around me as I head for what appears, from a great distance, to be a mall entrance. It is indeed a mall entrance, but it is on the other side of the mall from where I am supposed to meet Scully - and I’m already ten minutes late. With any "luck", she’s had as much trouble finding a space as I have. Christ, what a day already...and it’s only eleven a.m.!

I meander through the throngs of people, window-shopping as I go; there’s a great sweater that Mulder might like, I think to myself as I narrowly avoid bumping into a gaggle of giggling teenagers in the midway. They stop to stare at me for a moment, then laugh like mad as they walk away; I almost miss them saying how funny I look with nearly no hair on my head and such a hot body. Almost. I want to track them down and explain to them the merits of hair-loss as opposed to testosterone levels, but I decide that some things are best left unsaid. Taking a deep sigh, I set my sights on finding the Food Court - and Agent Scully. Maybe Mulder isn’t so far off in his disdain for the Holiday Season after all...

I see a familiar shock of titian hair moments later, and Scully runs up to me and gives me a huge hug in the midst of the chaos that the mall has become. "AD Skinner, it’s so great to see you," she says, planting a kiss on my cheek. I think I blush, smiling down at her petite little frame as she beams up at me with a toothy grin.

"Happy Holidays, Agent Scully," I manage, "Feeling ‘festive’, are we?"

"Oh yes sir, quite," she informs me. She is absolutely glowing, and I find myself asking her aloud, "Dana, is there a problem?" I know from looking at her that there is no problem...am I really that socially inept? Apparently so. Mulder and I REALLY need to get out more.

"Oh no sir, not at all. I’ve just...I mean, I have some news. I haven’t even told Mulder yet - but I have to tell SOMEONE, and since you’re here," she says, and I roll my eyes. Fox will absolutely kill me if I have some sort of information about Scully that he doesn’t know.

"Scully, maybe you should tell Fox first... I mean, you two are partners, and that being said..." she cuts me off in mid-explanation.

"I’m pregnant, sir,"she says proudly, patting her still-flat tummy with both hands. "Six weeks, if the doctors are correct."

"What?" I ask her, stupefied. As far as I knew, the Consortium had seen to it that she would never bear children. EVER. At least, that’s what Fox had told me. "But, I thought..." I can’t even finish the thought, my head swimming with the possibilities.

"I know, sir, I know. But they were wrong," she says smiling up at me. "Six weeks along, and doing extremely well." Holy Christ. Mulder is going to kill me for finding this out first. Maybe THIS will put him in the Christmas spirit.

"So, let’s go shopping!" Scully exclaims excitedly, grabbing my hand and pulling me along behind her as we head towards the ‘Gymboree’ store. We spend an hour in the shop together, me caught up in her excitement, buying everything that could possibly go on a boy OR a girl. Dana is absolutely radiant, having expressed her wish that Fox and I be the Godparents, and I find myself wishing that Fox was here to share in the celebration. It’s not right that I know all this pertinent information and he’s home watching the Sci-Fi Channel...but I find that after a while, I am enjoying myself despite his absence.

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Scully and I spend the better part of the day in the mall, shopping for her, for the baby, and for Mulder. I decide that the Grinch does indeed deserve the sweater that I saw earlier, as well as a shirt and some slacks to go with it. The man looks sexy as hell in his jeans, but denim isn’t always appropriate for where I want to take him out. I’ll make a GQ model out of him yet, according to Scully, who has taken it upon herself to find him some less-than-offensive ties to match what I bought him AND to go with some of his work suits. I had to stop her at the glow-in-the-dark UFO boxer shorts - I picked those up for his stocking when she wasn’t looking.

Five hours later, I find it hard to believe that I, the uptight AD from the FBI, am actually having FUN in the mall, but I am. I bought Scully lunch, and we talked about her boyfriend and her mother and her brother, and Mulder and me. We walked and talked and shopped like best friends, and when it got to be dinner-time, I was actually disappointed for the afternoon to end.

"Oh my God, look at the time," Scully exclaimed, pointing to her watch to show me that it was nearly four-thirty p.m., "I have to get home! My man is making me dinner. What about you, Walter," she said, flushing a little at using my first name as I had asked her to earlier in the day, "Is Mulder getting things ready at home?"

"I doubt he’s been able to pull himself away from the Sci-Fi Channel, Scully, but thanks for asking," I tell her, certain that my mate has taken it upon himself to relax all day while I’ve been out slaving away, buying gifts for him AND his soon-to-be-Godchild. No, OUR soon-to-be-Godchild, I think, smiling to myself.

"Well, Walter, I had a great time today. Thank you so much for joining me. Maybe we can do this again next weekend? I really need to find something nifty for Mom and Bill, and you are QUITE the shopping companion," she tells me, causing me to shift uncomfortably with the bags I’m holding in my hands. I hadn’t meant to buy quite so many things, but shopping with Scully really cheered me up after my encounter with Fox this morning, and I was feeling quite jolly, if I did say so myself.

"I’d be delighted to join you next weekend, Dana," I say, smiling at her as I watch her juggle her own packages around, "Would you like some help back to your car?" I ask her, and she enthusiastically declines, happy to carry all of her purchases back to the garage alongside me.

"Walter, you can tell Mulder about the baby. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled," she says coyly, "And he’ll also resent not coming shopping with us. It’ll be a real kicker to get him to come along with us next weekend, don’t you think?" She asks me as we get off the elevator together.

"Scully, I would have to agree with you on that," I tell her, smiling hugely at her as I watch her make her way to her car with all of her bags.

"See you Monday, sir," she calls over her shoulder as she walks away, "Merry Christmas!" Merry Christmas indeed, I think as I make my way to my own car, a spring in my step at the prospect of having one up on Mulder for a change.

*****************************************************

I make my way home through the traffic - apparently EVERYONE is on their way home for dinner - and it’s nearly six when I get home. I decide to leave Mulder’s gifts in the trunk of the car; he is notorious for snooping and he would undoubtedly ruin the surprise of everything I’ve bought for him thus far. The things I’ve bought for Scully’s baby, however, go upstairs with me. I’m slightly alarmed at finding the condo’s door wide open upon my return, moreso when I hear the stream of obscenities carrying rather loudly out into the hallway from inside.

I drop the bags I’m carrying and reach for my Sig, forgetting that a leisurely trip to the mall does not entail a weapon - I curse myself; what if Krycek’s in there? What if Cancer Man really isn’t dead and he’s in there torturing my lover? What if...the rest of the horrible scenarios leave my mind instantly as I stealthily enter our home to find Mulder attempting to balance an eight foot live Christmas tree still wrapped in plastic netting into a red and green holder - neither of which we owned when I left here earlier today. I have to hold in a guffaw that would surely shake the walls at the sight that greets me; Mulder is on his knees with his adorable ass in the air, trying to screw the tree into place by himself. If his vocabulary is any indication, he is failing miserably. I stand and watch him for several minutes, unbelted-out laughter melting into intense admiration and love at his gesture. The view isn’t bad, either.

As he gets one screw on the right nearly into place, he releases his grip on the trunk to move to the next one and the tree lurches dangerously to the left. "Goddammit," he shouts to the tree, "Hold still, will you? Walter will be home any minute, and you have to be ready. Now," he continues talking to the massive tree while pushing and pulling it back to an upright stance, "There, now don’t fucking MOVE." The dialogue ends as Fox attempts once again to adjust the screws. Moments later, the tree lurches to the right, and a whole slew of dialogue begins again. I can’t stand it anymore; he’s actually trying to be festive for me, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let the tree get the best of him...even if it IS fun to watch.

"Dammit, Walter," he says as he sits up and looks at me with his hands on his thighs, little globs of sap caught in his spiky hair and on his cheek, "I wanted to have this ready to decorate by the time you got home." He is also sporting enough sap for what must be half a gallon of syrup on his favorite black sweater and blue jeans; I snicker at his appearance briefly, and shoot him an apologetic look immediately when he glares up at me.

"Fox," I ask him as I quickly grab the tree in its middle and straighten it for him so he can screw it into place, "How in the hell did you get this thing up here?"

"Let’s just say you missed the funny part, shall we," he says as he bends back down and adjusts the screws as quickly as he can. Ten minutes later, our tree is perfectly straight and screwed into the stand so tightly that I do believe the entire production will need to be recycled together. "There," he says as he stands and tries to rub his sticky hands together, "Perfect. Thanks, babe," he says, aiming his face my way for a kiss - which I give him gladly and passionately. He looks down at himself and grimaces, "Christ, I’m a mess. Do you think this’ll come out in the wash?" he asks me, pointing to the sap spots.

"I don’t know, babe, they might be totaled. Hold on, I left some stuff out in the hall. Be right back," I tell him, kissing him on the cheek before I run out and pick up the bags, bringing them back in and setting them on the floor by the door so I can close it.

"Anything for ME in there, Walt," he asks, sidling up to me as he attempts to peer into the bags, "Wait a minute...what the hell? Babies-R-Us? Gymboree? Kay-Bee-Toys? Oh, I get it. You must have gotten one of those angels off the tree at the mall - you know - those needy kids. That’s awesome, Walt." He smiles at me, and I smile back at him as I shake my head back and forth.

"What do you mean, no? We don’t have nieces or nephews," he says, screwing up his face as he racks his brain trying to come up with an explanation, "And WE’RE not expecting....are we?" He asks, and I shoot him a look of my own at his inference.

"Okay, okay. Let me go take a shower and you can tell me your little secret afterwards, alright? Hey, let’s order dinner in tonight; I’ve got bags of decorations and lights for the tree down in my car. Why don’t you go down and grab them while I’m cleaning up? Watch out for the sap on the doors; I’m going to have to get a fire hose to clean the damn thing off," he murmurs as he heads up the stairs.

I shake my head and smile at him again as I grab his keys off the coffee table, cursing at the sticky residue that nearly glues them first to the table, and then to my hand. "Fox Mulder," I say aloud, sighing as I once again exit the condo and board the elevator south for the garage. I figure he must have spent at least $1,000.00 on decorations; there are six huge plastic bags in his backseat, three which contain nothing but lights, and three which contain various ornaments for the tree and decorations for the condo. Scully said he lacked the definition of ‘festive’ last year? He certainly means to atone for that THIS holiday season. I can’t help the stupid grin on my face as I carry the loot from the car to the elevator, load it all in, and lug it into the condo; I don’t think it’s possible for me to love Fox William Mulder any more than I do at this very moment.

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I order us Chinese, and Mulder comes down from his shower with damp hair and clean jeans and a tee shirt. He looks and smells absolutely delicious, and I nearly devour him with my kiss when he sits down next to me on the couch. "Mmmm," I tell him as I ream his mouth with my tongue, "You taste wonderful." He returns the sentiment enthusiastically, and we enjoy our make-out session until the doorbell rings, signalling dinner has arrived. We manage to separate ourselves so Mulder can pay the delivery boy, and both of us sit on the sofa and work on wolfing down our dinner, eager to decorate the tree. Our very first Christmas together. Our very first Christmas TREE together. I nearly get lost in my thoughts until Mulder brings me back to earth.

"Walter? Are you alright," he asks me, chewing on the last of his rice.

"I’m fine, Fox," I tell him dreamily, "Just thinking. This is our first Christmas together, you know."

"Yes, I know. But it’s not like we haven’t been together around the holidays before," he says.

"So," Mulder begins, tossing his now empty carton into the bag on the table, "Who ARE those baby gifts for?" Uh-oh. Things were going so well. He’s going to kill me, I just know it. As much as I don’t want to ruin the mood, I have to tell him. I HAVE to.

"Uh....well.....Fox, I got a call after I left the condo this morning. It was Scully, and ironically enough she wanted to go shopping with me. So we met at the mall and did a bit of playing Santa Claus, that’s all." He looks at me innocently and shrugs before continuing, "Oh, so you bought her brother Bill’s kids some gifts? That’s nice, Walt. Can they be from me, too?" he smiles at me, standing up and walking back to the door to get the bags of decorations he purchased earlier. Here goes nothing, I think to myself.

"Fox, they’re not for her brother. They’re for her," I tell him, quickly following with, "And they ARE from both of us." He freezes where he’s bent over the bags, turning his head slowly to look at me...and he’s smiling! Smiling?

"She told you! She said she was going to tell you. Good! What did we get them?" he asks me nonchalantly, and I jump up off the couch and storm over to where he’s standing with my jaw clenched, ready for action.

"You KNEW?" I hiss at him, "You KNEW and you didn’t tell me? How COULD you, Fox? She said you didn’t know, and she asked me to tell you...she asked us to be the Godparents. I suppose you knew that, too, didn’t you?" I sputter at him, embarassed that he was able to reel me in in this manner. BOTH of them reeled me in.

"She WHAT?" He asks, standing up and placing his hands on his hips, "Godparents?" His face is totally blank, and I realize immediately that even though he and Scully were in on the shopping excursion for today to get me out of the house, Scully had a directive of her OWN to fulfill. She made the secrets EVEN for Fox and me, and Fox didn’t know. I am going to kiss her when I see her on Monday. Okay, on the cheek, but I’ll still kiss her!

"HA! You didn’t know, did you? You reeled ME in, and she reeled YOU in! HA," I say again, laughing whole-heartedly at the look on his face. He looks...betrayed...but a smile is threatening there, I can see it. The betrayed look quickly fades and he smiles at me and says, "We’re going to be Godparents, Walter! Holy shit!" He throws his arms around me and I return the embrace, burying my face in his still moist hair. Just when I thought I couldn’t love Fox Mulder any more than I already do...

*************************************************

Several celebratory beers and hours later, Fox and I finish decorating our massive tree. It’s gorgeous, all eight feet of it. We had a few hearty laughs over his choice of decorations; he assured me that the light and sound activated UFO decorations from Sharper Image were very comparable in price to those from Hallmark, and I have to admit that no matter HOW much money he spent, it was well worth the cost. I wouldn’t expect anything less from my lover.

Multiple USS Enterprise and Millennium Falcon ornaments grace the front of the tree, along with the little green men hanging from numerous branches - Fox was adamant that they should be gray, but for Christmas, he says he’ll settle for mere stereotypes. I wonder how many other couples have these discussions as I place the final extraterrestrial on our tree, oblivious to anything but our happiness. We stand back and give one final toast to our work, tossing back the remnants of our last drinks and letting the bottles drop to the floor as we embrace one another.

Fox claims that we have hours of work ahead of us, seeing as how there are at least 2,000 more lights for the balcony still in the bags on the floor. I let him know with my lips, tongue, and hands that those lights can wait until tomorrow...he moans his acquiescence into my mouth, his hands struggling to undo my jeans as we hold one another close.

"Mulder," I whisper to him as I allow him to begin undressing me, "I thought you hated the holidays," I murmur into his ear as he reaches into my now unzipped jeans, his warm hand grasping my erection.

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