Date: May 26th - June 24th, 2000
Author: Jvantheterrible
Rating: NC-17
Category: Sk/M
Disclaimer: Story mine. Characters CC, Fox,
1013/InFront.
Author’s Notes: The style of this one is a bit
different - third person in italics during Skinner’s “out of order” time,
observing Mulder’s behavior and thoughts as he waits for word on his lover;
someone dearly departed is making sure that Mulder’s alright......<g>.
amokeh, thanks for beta-ing me, and giving me constant support and superb
ideas! Readers, I hope you don’t think this one is cheesy. I think it’s sort of
a romantic notion, actually. I’m sure you’ll let me know, one way or another.
Feedback: Rllnslvr@aol.com OR
Jvantheterrible@yahoo.com. I prefer NOT to get flames, but hey, it’s a free
country, right? LMAO.
*************************************************
The ambulance roars up to meet Mulder and me just before I
lose consciousness; he’s in hysterics. I wonder how in the hell Scully ever
managed to keep him calm in a crisis.
I look up at him as the paramedics run a gurney over, and
suddenly, she’s there behind him, smiling slightly and nodding at me. “Scully,”
I whisper, and then there’s nothing but blackness; his hoarse, “NOO--” the last
thing to reach my ears, fading out just like me.
********************************************
The paramedics have a hard time getting Skinner away from
Mulder; Fox doesn’t seem to realize that his panicking is not helping the
situation any. They finally manage to get Skinner free, lifting him gingerly
onto the stretcher and wheeling him over and into the waiting ambulance.
Mulder’s lip is swollen and bloody, and he’s still kneeling on the ground,
hands in his lap, shaking with shock when the EMT that’s not working on Walter
comes back for him.
“Sir, it’s alright; your friend is going to be okay, we
need to go now,” the medic tells him softly, reaching down to help Mulder up.
“Can you stand up, sir? Can you walk? Come on, sir. My name is John, and I’m
going to take you both to the hospital, alright?”
Mulder shakes his head and shivers, not saying a word.
John takes Mulder’s hands and helps him up, placing his arm around Fox’s
shoulders and supporting his weight as he helps the stricken man into the
transport. Once Mulder is seated on the bench next to the second EMT, John
slams the doors shut and runs to the front, hops in, and starts up the sirens
and the engine.
Mulder jumps at the sound of the sirens coming on,
unwilling and unable to tear his gaze away from Skinner. The technician
assisting Walter is finishing up an I-V drip connection into Skinner’s arm, and
once he’s done all he can for the larger man, he turns his attention quickly to
Fox.
“Sir, you’re in shock,” he says, reaching up over Mulder’s
head to grab two blankets, and then wraps them around him. “We’re just a couple
of minutes away from the hospital, and they’ve already got an OR waiting for
your friend, sir. He’s going to be fine, okay?”
Mulder nods his head at the stranger, refusing to meet his
eyes, still watching Skinner’s chest rise and fall, making sure that it doesn’t
stop.
“My name is Mike, sir. What is your name,” he asks Mulder,
trying to get his attention. “Sir? Sir, what is your name?”
“M-m-mulder,” Fox manages shakily, his voice nothing more
than a whisper.
“Okay, Mulder. Good, that’s good,” Mike says.
“He....he p-p-promised,” Mulder begins to cry quietly
again, “W-Wuhhalter,” Fox sobs, and Mike pats Mulder’s shoulder gently, trying
to soothe the pathetic man in front of him.
“Okay, okay, that’s good, Mulder. Walter, his name is
Walter, and he promised...what did he promise you, Mulder?” Mike says, while
John reports the names of the two passengers to the hospital dispatcher.
Mulder reaches out and takes Skinner’s hand in his,
clasping the big man’s fingers tightly in his own, refusing to let go as Mike
checks and re-checks the I-V and the dressing he’s placed around the knife
protruding from Walter’s abdomen.
Fox continues to hold Skinner’s hand, shaking, tears
silently running down his cheeks. “Walter,” he whispers every few seconds, but
there’s no response from his lover. Mulder ignores Mike and John completely,
even when they reach the hospital some six minutes later, making it impossible
for the EMT’s and the ER team to remove Skinner from the ambulance. Fox has a
death grip on Walter’s hand, sobbing that he has to go with him, can’t leave
him, has to be with him, won’t let him go.....for several moments, both teams
attempt to separate Fox from Walter - to no avail.
Seconds later, Mulder slumps back against the wall of the
ambulance, having been tranquilized by one of the doctors in order to get
Walter out of the transport and into the OR. Once that’s accomplished, Fox is
wheeled in separately, his identification verified by his FBI badge, and he’s
assigned to a quiet room three floors down from where Skinner is having his
newly acquired appendage removed.
Mulder remains unconscious for most of the time that Walter is in surgery, dreaming drug-induced horrors as his head lolls back and forth, his body tucked tightly in with sheets and blankets. He moans Skinner’s name, but every so often, a ‘Scully’ escapes as well.
**********************************************
An hour or so later, Mulder’s eyes open, and he turns his
head to look to the bed next to him, certain that Skinner is there - but it’s
empty. He becomes confused, not realizing why he is where he is, sure that he’s
been committed once again. He pulls out of the covers, only mildly relieved
that he’s not strapped to the bed; “Walter,” he whispers, attempting to sit up,
only to be wracked by a dizzy spell that nearly causes him to vomit.
He swallows his gorge back down and takes some deep
breaths, wondering why in the hell his head feels like it’s going to split open
any second, and then he remembers. Walter. The car. The alley. The men...oh
God, no. They stabbed him...he was.....he loves me, he said.....and then the
ambulance, and then.....and then.
“Nurse,” Mulder yells, closing his eyes as he sits up,
faring a little better with all things vertical this time, “NURSE!” It doesn’t
occur to him to press the Nurse Call button at the side of the bed; he has a
one track mind, and he is on his feet within seconds. No nurse is coming, and
he has to know where Walter is. NOW.
Fox is dressed, but his shoes are missing; he heads out
the door of his room and down the hall, barefoot and in his rumpled clothes.
His hands make tight fists as he peers into every room he passes, looking for
his lover.
“NURSE,” he shouts when he finally reaches the Nurse’s
Station, alarming the hell out of the two residents seated there, “Where is
Walter Skinner,” Mulder slurs, not entirely free of the effects of the
sedatives.
“Mr. Mulder,” the first resident scolds as she hurries
over to his side, “You’re not supposed to be up! You need to rest -” Fox cuts
her off in mid-rant, nearly beginning to sob as he asks again, “Please, I have
to see him, nurse, Walter Skinner....he was brought in with me,” Mulder tells
her as he falls into her arms and heavily slumps down to his knees. The residents help him up and into an office
chair that they wheel over to him, one of them staying with him while the other
pages a doctor.
“I have to see him, please, you don’t understand,” Mulder
moans, “He promised........and I can’t find him, and he has to be here, Walter,
Walter Skinner,” he repeats insistently, “He........he
promised......not....to...leave,” Mulder spits out before the tears begin to
fall.
“Mr. Mulder, please, we have to take you back to your
room,” the resident tells him, and he shakes his head violently back and forth,
“I want to see him. NOW,” Mulder shouts suddenly, making the nurse jump, “You
people fucking drugged me, and all I wanted to do was stay with him! Now TELL
me WHERE he IS!”
“Agent Mulder,” the doctor says calmly as he approaches,
“Your friend is still in surgery. They’re finishing up as we speak,” he assures
Fox, “You need to get some rest, Mr. Mulder, you’re not doing anyone any good,
least of all Mr. Skinner -”
“Take me to his room, please,” Mulder says quietly, “I
promise...I won’t cause any more trouble...just take me to his room, and you
won’t even know I’m here,” Fox pleads tearily, “You...you don’t
understand....I’ve lost everything...he’s....he’s all I have, and I have to be
with him. Please,” Mulder begs.
The doctor lets out a huge sigh and nods to the nurses,
“Very well, Mr. Mulder, but you have to wait until we can get you a wheelchair
and take you up to his room, alright? You’re still too woozy to be up and
about, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
Mulder ignores the doctor’s glare and gives him a small
smile, his heart racing as he waits impatiently for an orderly with a
wheelchair to arrive. “Thank you, doctor. I’m...I’m sorry,” he says to the
nurses, and they just pat him on the back and help him into the ‘Invalid
Express’ when it arrives. The orderly takes him to the elevator, and moments
later, he’s on his way to Skinner’s room.
**************************************************
Skinner is still being settled into his bed when Mulder is
wheeled in, and the nurses give Fox a brief dirty look as they check Walter’s
I-V line and pull the covers up across his chest, lifting his arms and placing
them on top of the blanket, along his sides. They check his vitals once more
before they leave, warning Mulder that they BOTH need their rest as he’s
wheeled to the bedside, and finally, he’s alone with Walter.
“Skinner,” Mulder whispers, frightened by how pale his
lover looks, “I’m here, babe,” he says, gently grasping Walter’s thick right
fingers with his left, unsure of whom he’s trying to comfort more - Skinner or
himself. He reaches up and brushes Walter’s cheek with the back of his right
hand, fighting the lump in his throat back down with a hard swallow. He takes a
deep shaky breath, glad to just be near the big man he’s come to love more than
anything or anyone he’s ever known....except for maybe one, he thinks as a
single tear drops down and splashes on his hand where it’s joined with
Skinner’s.
**********************************************
He’s sitting there thinking about what Walter said just
before they took him away, wondering why he would’ve said my name. Mulder
doesn’t know yet what Skinner saw; the only reason that he DID see me was
because he was so close......but it’s not his time, not for many years yet. No
punk with a knife is going to be able to take Skinner away from the world - OR
from Mulder.
Mulder’s entire life has been a struggle, from the time he
was a child, all the way up until tonight. I know that not only because I was
his partner for so long, but also because there are certain others here who
have explained things to me and allowed me to see inside Fox Mulder’s past,
from years before the FBI was even a thought for either of us.
They never meant to hurt Mulder; sometimes, it’s just the
way the game of life goes, and there’s nothing that anyone can do to change
events that are destined to play out to a certain end. He may have been hurt,
but he has always been loved; by his father, his mother, his sister, and of
course by myself. This time, however, he’s found the greatest love that one
person can - and he’s going to be allowed to keep it. He doesn’t know that yet,
but I do; I’m enjoying having one up on Mulder for a change. It’s the only
reason I’m hanging around now - making sure he keeps it together until Skinner
wakes up and can tell him that himself. And he will. Trust me. I know.
************************************************
Mulder’s exhausted from the entire ordeal, and his brain
is finally slowing down enough to allow him to sleep. He still refuses to leave
Skinner’s room, so he crosses his arms and puts his head down on top of his
forearms, still grasping Walter’s hand in his own. He’s asleep within minutes,
and doesn’t even feel the big man begin to stir beside him.
Skinner opens his eyes in the dark room, looking around
slowly, still in a daze from the anesthetic. Things are pretty blurry without
his wirerims, but he does manage to see Fox slumbering at his bedside. He
smiles weakly as he squeezes Mulder’s hand and then he looks around a little
more.
He can’t see me, but I think he senses that I’m still here
- he actually speaks to me, and I know now that it’s time for me to go; my work
here is done.
“Scully,” Walter whispers, closing his eyes again and
drifting back into sleep, “Thank you, Scully. We miss you so much,” he
finishes, trailing off.
“I’m always with you,” I whisper, and it’s then that I hear Mulder sigh in his sleep, “Sssscccullllyyyyy.” He smiles a little, and I can’t help myself - I ruffle his hair, making it move ever so slightly, as though a little breeze has entered the room. He shivers and murmurs something unintelligible before drifting back off. They’re going to be fine, no matter what happens in the future, because they have each other.....and I’m never TOO far away. True, Skinner is going to have a rough time with this injury, but he’s not going anywhere. Neither is Mulder. Yes, I DO know.
************************************************
Mulder wakes up before Skinner does, and he seems
surprised that he fell asleep. Leave it to Mulder to believe he’s not going to
sleep at all while Skinner’s recovering. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn man. Some
things never change.
He spends a good half an hour just staring at Walter; I
can’t believe Skinner doesn’t wake up just from the sheer feeling of being
watched! Unfortunately, he doesn’t wake up, and Mulder becomes increasingly
agitated. It’s not even been a full eight hours since Skinner’s surgery, and
Fox is at the end of his proverbial rope, pacing the room like a leopard in a
cage that’s too small. When the nurses come in to take Walter’s vitals, Mulder
harasses them, giving them the twenty question treatment each time; if only
he’d payed more attention while I was nursing him back to health all those
times, he’d know that these things take time!
Skinner didn’t suffer a massive injury, but it could’ve
been; mere centimeters from a major artery, he could have bled to death before
they even heard the ambulance coming. The doctors won’t tell Mulder that,
though; they’re well aware of his OWN track record.
**************************************************
Two full hours of pacing and one more vitals check later,
Mulder finally sits down in the chair next to Skinner’s bed and puts his face
in his hands. He falls asleep again, and Walter stirs ever so slightly when the
nurses come back in a couple of hours later. Fox is down and out for the count,
exhausted beyond comprehension in his typical fashion. I certainly hope he opts
for food the next time he wakes up.
A full twelve hours after coming out of surgery, Walter
regains full consciousness. His eyes open ever so tentatively, and he looks
slowly around his room, taking everything in, finally realizing that he’s in
the hospital. His gaze comes to rest on Mulder, and he smiles. As IF Fox would
leave him.
“Mulder,” Walter whispers, and Fox stirs slightly,
murmuring my name, and then Skinner’s. Mulder’s head snaps up at the sound of
Walter’s voice, and he smiles a sleepy grin at Skinner.
“Walt. Thank God, Walter, Oh Jesus, Walter,” Mulder says,
and his voice cracks and breaks, tears falling down onto the bed between them.
“I was so scared, Walt...I was afraid you weren’t....you wouldn’t....” Fox
trails off, and Skinner just looks up at him with love in his eyes, and I
nearly feel like crying myself.
“Love.....you.....Fox,” Walter manages, and then drifts
back off. Mulder continues to cry for several minutes, and looks up to the
ceiling, thanking a God that he doesn’t really even believe in for giving him
back his life....and his lover. I smile down on them both, and I swear that
Mulder can see me, even if it’s only for a split second.
“Thank you, Scully. I miss you so much,” he says, before he buries his face in his hands where they’re now joined with Walter’s.
*************************************************
Mulder refuses to leave Walter, even though three more
days pass before Skinner is able to stay awake for any substantial period of
time. Still in the same clothes, and what surely constitutes a thirty o’clock
shadow, Mulder remains at the man’s side, clucking over him like some deranged
mother hen.
Walter wakes at noon on the fourth day, feeling better
than he has since he was admitted. He looks at Mulder and sniffs the air
exaggeratedly, crinkling up his nose at the scent of Fox.
“What?” Mulder asks. It’s really a shame they can’t hear
me laughing my butt off.
“Fox,” Skinner husks, “When was the last time you took a
shower?”
“SO nice to see you’re feeling better,” Mulder says,
smiling a huge dumb grin down at Walter as he strokes his lover’s face.
“Go home, Fox,” Skinner tells him, and Mulder looks a bit
hurt, but only for a moment; he sniffs his armpits and makes a horrible face,
nodding at Walter as he does.
“Alright, but only for a little while,” Mulder assures
him. Skinner nods his agreement, smiling for the first time in four days.
Mulder beams, and takes his leave.
**************************************************
A couple of hours later, Fox is back, showered
(thankfully) and refreshed. He looks gaunt since he’s shaved, like he hasn’t
eaten anything these past few days, but he’s here, and he gets a grin from me,
nevertheless. There is NOTHING on television, and I’m thrilled when he saunters
into my room, sultry as ever, flowers and balloons and a teddy bear and.....are
those MY clothes?....in his arms. He walks directly to me and leans down to
kiss me in greeting.
“Fox,” I murmur into his mouth, and I try to smile back at
him - I think I got the corners of my mouth to curl up a bit, anyway.
“Thirsty,” I husk at him, and he’s up and out the door before I can say
anything else. Despite the I-V in my arm that I’m certain is pumping fluids
into my system, I’m still parched. Several minutes later, he comes back with a
cup in his hand, looking extremely frustrated. He sits back down in his chair
and holds onto the cup momentarily.
“They said the only thing you can have is ice chips,
because of your injury,” he explains, “Those bastards punctured your stomach,
Walter.” He frowns and looks down at the floor, refusing to meet my eyes.
“What is it, Fox,” I ask him softly, reaching out to him.
He takes my hand in his, finally looking back at me as he
says, “I wish it had been me, Walter. You put up with enough because of me as
it is,” he finishes, his voice very quiet. He hangs his head again, and I
release his hand and reach to tilt his chin back up so he’s looking at me.
“Fox, this has nothing to do with anything,” I tell him,
“It’s a random act of violence. It could have been ANY two people going to that
restaurant. It had nothing to do with the Bureau, or the Consortium, or
anything else. It just happened.”
“But it happened to US, Walter,” he tells me forcefully,
his anger surfacing, “It’s like.....it’s like a sign. It’s like Fate telling us
that this is what people think of us....of our relationship. And it could
happen again.....and the next time, they might do even more damage. I
can’t....I can’t lose you,” he finishes, tears pooling in his eyes as he meets
my gaze intensely, “You’re all I have left. I can’t lose you too,” he whispers.
“Fox, I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him
matter-of-factly, “You’re stuck with me. TRUST me. Now...give me some goddamned
ice chips,” I tell him, and he smiles, wiping his eyes with the back of his
left hand while he holds the cup to my lips with the right.
I had no idea that chewing took so much energy, but it
really does; I’m exhausted by the time I’ve made it halfway through the cup of
ice, and I doze off just after the nurses come in to check on me. Mulder
refuses to leave; I find myself comforted by his mere presence, and it makes me
feel better all the way around to fall asleep with him still here.
**************************************************
When I wake up several hours later, Mulder has taken a
bathroom break, and I try to sit up in my bed without assistance. Bad idea
number one, I think as I wince in pain, subject to Fox’s scrutiny when he comes
out of the bathroom.
“Walter,” Mulder sighs, hands on his hips as he shakes his
head at me, “You’re so goddamned stubborn. Accept the fact that you are just
slightly out of commission, will you PLEASE,” he finishes, going to the foot of
my bed and shaking some things out, as best as I can tell.
“What’s all that,” I ask him once the bed has stopped
moving. Jesus my stomach hurts. If I ever see those bastards again....Fox
interrupts my thoughts momentarily.
“Clothes. I figure they’ll have you up and around soon
enough, and unless you want most of the hospital staff ooh-ing and aah-ing over
your bare ass, you’d best have something to put on aside from that gown.”
“Mulder, you have this ‘thing’ about people finding me
sexy. Add it to your long list of unfounded paranoia, and get over it already.
It’s not true,” I grumble at him.
“I’ll have you know, SIR,” he says sarcastically, earning
a frown from me, “That MOST of my paranoia is quite founded, and I have plenty
of instances to support that theory. I can explain them to you now, if you
like,” he teases, and I roll my eyes at him, causing him to chuckle at me.
“Please, Mulder. Not while I am incapacitated to the point
where I can’t get up and walk away,” I tell him, forcing a small grin at him as
he shakes out my jeans and t-shirt, laying them across the bed and my blanket-clad
legs.
“Actually Mr. Skinner,” the nurse exclaims as she walks
in, “You may very well be able to walk away. It’s time for you to get up,” she
says cheerily, and I suddenly know what real fear is. I don’t want Mulder
here....what if I yell because it hurts? Christ. The LAST thing I need Fox to
see is me hurting; he’ll go off on a whole new guilt trip and lose his
goddamned mind.
“Fox, why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and get
something to eat,” I ask, glaring at him as the nurse comes over and takes my
arm; stupid woman doesn’t know by now to follow my lead where Mulder is
concerned?
“Walter, I want to be here for you. I want to help you get
well,” he finishes, and I nearly scream as the nurse eases me up into a sitting
position. THIS is progress? I think I may have broken my teeth from clenching
them so tightly, fighting back the pain that streaks up my body from my
abdomen; this must be what it feels like to be struck by fucking lightning, I
think grimly, biting back the scream to keep Mulder calm. If that nurse moves
me one more time, I’m going to lose it, whether it makes Fox go insane or
not.....
*************************************************
Needless to say, the first couple days of ‘Getting to Know
Your Body All Over Again - 101’ are NOT a complete success. It hurts like hell,
and Fox yelling at the nurses and getting himself banned from the Physical
Therapy room isn’t much help, either.
Nevertheless, I do manage a somewhat clean bill of health
a whole ten days after being admitted, and I’m finally allowed to go home.
Granted, Mulder as my caretaker is going to be interesting, if not a stretch,
but I’m just happy to be breaking the hell out of this place. One more bowl of
Jello and I was going to ‘watch it wiggle, see it jiggle’ all the way up
someone’s ass. Stick that in your dessert dish and spoon it up, Bill Cosby.
I even manage to keep my grumbling to a minimum when they
insist that I exit the place in a goddamned wheelchair. It means I’m going
home, and Fox practically skips up to meet me, helping me out of the chair and
into the freedom of my car. When he’s finished strapping me in, which consists
of me smacking his hands away from the seat belt so I can do it myself, and him
glowering at me as he walks around the car and gets in behind the wheel, we are
finally on our way home.
“Are you comfortable, Walter?” He asks me, putting the car
into gear.
“Yes, Mulder,” I tell him, anxious to get on the road.
“Your seatbelt’s not too tight or anything,” he presses,
and I look at him with a slight smile, and tell him, “Just get us the hell out
of here, alright Fox?”
“Aye-aye, sir,” he says, mock-saluting me and beaming back
at me as we head for Crystal City.
**************************************************
Coming Soon: Taste of Life VIII
Also, I can’t help but tell you that there WILL be another
angst-ridden Sk/M piece coming up VERY shortly...and it’s NOT in the Taste of
Life universe. Enjoy, and thanks for reading!
--Jvantheterrible