Xelloss: Ne, Ophelia-san, why did you call us "Plot Cliches"?
Oph: Because a lot of authors like to argue with chibi-fied characters from their fics, and I'm no exception! ^_^
Filia: Is chibi-fied even a word?
Oph: *sweatdrops* Eh, anyway, just read the FAQ (Fictionally Asked Questions), you two.
Xel: Why should we?
Fi: For once, I agree with the Namagomi. Why waste our time asking you questions you made up?
Oph: *feral look that makes Xel/Fi nervous* Because I am the authoress, and while you're in my fic, I can make you do anything I want you to do. Observe! *snaps fingers*
***
*Xel and Filia feel an irresistable pull that brings them closer together. They gaze into one another's eyes.*
Xel: Filia, darling, the flames of my soul are burning... burning... burning for you!!!" (1)
Fi: *zestful sigh* Oh, Namagomi-chan, I've waited so long to hear you say that!
*Their faces are nearly touching now. Just as they're about to kiss...*
***
Oph: *snaps fingers again* See? ^_^
*Xel/Fi scramble away from each other as quickly as possible.*
Xel: Dear L-sama, what did I just say?!
Fi: Ack! I almost kissed the Namagomi!
Xel/Fi: *in unison, of course* Spew! (2)
Oph: *sigh* While they're chugging the mouthwash, I'll get this show on the road. I'm writing this announcement/ficlet because I know I haven't updated this site or my fic in the longest time.
There are a number of reasons I haven't been updating. First of all, I'm in college, and the workload has been getting more time-consuming each semester. I can't imagine what it'll be like when I student teach a year from now. So, time has been a problem.
Second, hard as it is to believe, I'm not the Slayers fan I used to be. I've been putting my energy into other pursuits, and anime has kind of fallen by the wayside.
Third, I'm a huge procrastinator when it comes to this sort of thing, so I just keep putting my e-mail and site on hold.
Xel: Fourth, she likes reading *grimaces* Xel/Fi fics more than she likes writing html.
Oph: Oh, so you two have recovered. Care to help me out, now? *innocent smile*
Fi: *pulls out tea set* Only because we have no choice. Tea? *serves tea to everyone*
Xel: Why did you decide to write this announcement now, instead of months ago, when you stopped updating?
Oph: Because I wanted to tell everyone that I'll be working at a summer camp for the next two months, and I won't have Internet access until I get back. *quietly* Plus, I felt bad for not responding to and posting all the nice fics/pics people have sent me in the past year or so.
Fi: Speaking of sending you things, should people send you fics and artwork while you are away?
Oph: I do enjoy seeing other people's work, but I'm afraid my e-mail account will fill up, if I'm sent large files in the next two months. So, please, wait until September to send me fics/artwork.
Xel: No Internet access for two whole months? Yare, yare, Ophelia-san, how will you survive?
Oph: I'm sure I'll get by, somehow... Hey, what a sec! I'm not addicted to the Internet! *cluches computer* I can quit anytime I want to!
Xel/Fi: *roll eyes, in unison* Sure you can. *pause and look at each other* Hey, quit copying me! *another pause* Stop it!
Oph: *grins* Aw, aren't they cute like that?
*Xel/Fi huff and turn away from each other.*
Xel: *twitching angrily* She is not cute!
Fi: *glowing battle aura* What was that?! *reaches for her mace, but pulls out.. a hammer, instead?*
Oph: Wow, are Ranma and Akane (3) taking over, you two? Nice hammer, Filia! But, it's just not the same as mace-sama.
*Xel/Fi stare at the hammer. Filia tosses it away, and they both sit down with a cup of tea, attempting to relax and ignore each other.*
Oph: *claps hands* That's a neat fic idea!
Fi: *sips tea, hands twitching* Speaking of fics, people are asking when you're going to write more of "The Making of a Family". (4)
Oph: *sweatdrops* Well, recently, I tried to start another chapter. However, I have no idea where I'm going with my fic, so I'm having trouble getting started. I will try to write more, but I can't make any promises about when I will have new material to post. (btw, thank you to everyone who wrote to me with feedback!)
Xel: Anything else you want to tell your loyal visitors?
Oph: Thank you all for visiting my site, even though I've been so terrible about updating. Here's some sites I've really enjoyed...
Xel: ...When she should have been updating.
Oph: *growls* Xelloss! *prepares to snap fingers*
Xel: Eeep! *hurridly* Anyway, here are the sites!
Fi: *trying her best to ignore Xel* Ophelia-san has gotten really addicted to webcomics over the past few months. Her favorites are:
RPG World - http://www.rpgworldcomic.com/
Ozy and Millie - http://www.ozyandmillie.org
Tales From Band Camp - http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/
Bruno the Bandit - http://brunothebandit.com
The Class Menagerie - http://www.theclassm.com/
Suburban Jungle - http://www.suburbanjungle.com/index.html
Xel: And, here are four of my kind of webcomics! Full of angst, fanservice, and/or violence! ^_^
Fi: *whacks Xel with mace-sama* Hentai Namagomi!
Sinfest - http://www.sinfest.net/
Exploitation Now - http://www.exploitationnow.com/
3rd Wish and Your Half - http://www.timedisorder.com/
Fi: *takes a deep breath to calm herself* Anyway, Ophelia-san also spends a lot of time on Fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net). A few of her favorite authors are Davner, croaky, Crystal Dawn, BattleJoy W, Nin, Zanne Chaos, Angelique Limoges, spare, and Avocado.
Oph: Yep! My list of favorites could go on and on, but I'll stop here. I've got to go finish packing for camp! Thanks so much for reading this, everyone. Now, here's a reward for all you Xel/Fi fans out there. *smirks and snaps fingers*
***
*Xel and Fi are now locked in a passionate embrace.*
Xel: Fi-chan, I've been blind to your beauty, but now, I see the light.
Fi: Shut up and kiss me, Namagomi-chan.
*Xel complies*
Xel: *heated whisper* Care to adjorn to my humble abode?
Fi: *manages to smirk* Of course. You've been a bad boy, and I need to punish you.
Xel: Yes, Mistress. *They disappear.*
(Nope, no lemon to go with the above scene. Use your imaginations. *grins*)
Author's Notes:
1. Know what Xel/Fi fic I borrowed "burning, burning, burning" from? Click here to see if you were right!
2. Quote by Skippy Squirrel from Animaniacs, owned by Warner Brothers.
3. Ranma/Akane belong to the creator of Ranma 1/2. Go see some of it, if you haven't already, for another of the famous warring couples of anime! ^_^
4. Actually, this is a real Frequently Asked Question. I never expected my fic to be so popular. Thank you, everyone!
Disclaimer: Slayers does not belong to me. I only borrow the characters in order to torture them for a while. ^_^
