Don't Be a Playa Hater, Be a Playa Killer!

Y'know, freedom of speech is truly a double edged sword. I think that Playa Culture is a prime example.You've seen 'em. Those dudes cruisn in souped up cars that say shit like 'LowRidaz 4 Life' and 'DarkSide Boyz'. Gold chains, gold teeth, small penises. You get the picture. Welcome to the world of Playaz, y'all.

Am I the only person in the world who thinks these pinheads are the most annoying fuckers to come down the pike since, well, I can't think of anything else. So here is the Destroy All Monsters Guide to Playa hating! Below are provided some handy links to some really, really wonderful Playa sites. Have a look and a laugh, and while you're at it, sign the guestbook and tell 'em how much they suck.

1.) The Playaz Club I don't make this shit up (sometimes I wish I did...). Here's a quote from the intro: "if you support us, then we'll support you, but if you f*ck with us then yo we gasta f*ck you up. And no, we are not gangstaz nor are we all strapped. We will take you out the old-fashioned way and that's with our feet up your asses. And so, without any further ado, here is the PLAYAZ CLUB! " Let me get this straight, they have no problem kicking my ass, but they wont say fuck? Whatever...

2.) TO ALL THA THUGGZ,PLAYAZ,HUSTLAZ,AND PIMIPZ!!! Yes, that IS the title of the page. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE NIGGAZ THAT FEELS LIKE HE GOTSTA TYPE EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS OR NO GANGSTAZ GONNA BE ABLE TO READ NUTHIN'. Y'ALL.Here's an excerpt. "WUZ UP YALL DIZ BE MIZ BOUT IT, LETTIN YALL NIGGAZ KNOW THA TRU SIDE OF ME SO SIT BACK AND CHILL WHY I TELL YALL NIGGAZ SOME INFO ABOUT ME, IM BROWN SKIN WITH BROWN EYEZ WIEGHT 110 AND IM 5,2 AND I GOT A NOISE RANG. IM FROM ST.LOUIS BUT LIVIN WITH MY MOMZ IN KILLA KALI " I'd comment, but I think that about says it all...

3.) ThE IsLaNd PlAyAz! If you can read that without getting cataracts, you're a better man than I. Anyway, as a fellow Filipino, it pains me to see my brown bruthas falling to the influence of 'Playa-itis', but I guess it had to happen sooner or later. I don't think there's a single intelligible word on this entire page. Have a look at this..."WhUt uP To aLL ThA IsLaNd sTyLe pLaYaZ an pLaYetTeS wOrLd WyDe... RePrEsEnTiN aLL tHa IsLaNdS... FrUm ThA pHiLiPiNeS DoWn tO ThA hAwAian IsLaNdZ... So iF YoUz tHiNk Yo PaGe Iz tHa sHiEt.. jOiN ThA RiNg an RePrEsEnT!!! AiiGhT tHeN... I'm oUt.." Enjoy at your own risk.

4.) jiggyniggaz home page Oh, yeah. Nothin' says 'Playa' like a MIDI file of that nauseating Celine Dion 'Titanic' song. Don't believe me? Check out the page...this guy equates 'jiggy-ness' with something akin to The Force for Pimps. Is this the same 'jiggy' that Will Smith was singing about? I don't know. Check out one of his rules of 'jiggyness'. "RULE NUMBER 5 : A TRU PLAYER CAN ONLY CONTACT HIS WOMEN NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Do not make it so that your women have access to any of your personals. It puts you on lock down. Give a beeper number this way you can always call when you want. If you doing your thing at home and the phone rings your f**ked. Yeah....you could turn off the ringer but never do you wanna miss important phone call. death, accident, etc... " Sound advice from a sound playa, no doubt. He got game.

5.) FoR YaLL pLaYa HaTeRs... Well, umm, I guess the picture says it all. What is it with these PlAyAz? aDo they have, like epileptic caps lock keys on they MuThAfUcKiN CoMpUtErS? Oh, maybe it's some sort of PlAyA SeCrEt CoDeZ ThAt We NoN-pLaYaZ cAn'T ReAd...

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