A Story To Live By
I think this story made it's way around the net a
few times. A supposed true story, but who knows for
sure. I think the message itself should have a place
in everyone's life and reality though.
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my
sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped
package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This
is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed
me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and
trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with
an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York,
at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore
it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well,
I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from
me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we
were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on
the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything
for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a
special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the
days that followed when I helped him and my niece
attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected
death. I thought about them on the plane returning to
California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she
hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the
things that she had done without realizing that they
were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've
changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without
fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending
more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be
a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm
trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and
crystal for every special event-such as losing a
pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia
blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I
feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I
can shell out $28.49 for one small bag groceries
without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for
special parties; clerks in hardware stores
and tellers in banks have noses that function as well
as my party-going friends'.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their
grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing
or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm
not sure what my sister would have done had she known
that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all
take for granted. I think she would have called family
members and a few close friends. She might have called
a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for
past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone
out for a Chinese dinner,her favorite food.
I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make
me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry
because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going
to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write,one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
husband and daughter often enough how much I truly
love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold
back, or save anything that would add laughter and
luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my
eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day,
every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
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background music--
"Funeral for a Friend" ..by Elton John
