Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

......continuation of the thoughts that have once whirled through my mind.......


 

I used to dream
about an ocean
that wavered in and out
I used to dream
about a dove
one that knew what my dream
was about
The flood came
the waters receded
The deity died in the storm
I, the weary one
unsure of reality
didn't know how to mourn
I've taken all this pain
the hurt grows deeper inside
The memories are all the same
wavering in and out of my mind

Unexpected emotions catch me unaware
in the dark of night.....I felt you there
You were the one who  made things different
you were the one I could count on
Above all else you were my friend
I woke up between a memory and a dream
I woke up without you next to me
I locked myself into a box
and threw away the key
Out of nothing came a masterpiece
that held the loneliest recesses of me.

Everyday people
same emotion and thought
Everyday journey
and then I found you.......
waves of memories
come cascading through....
stronger emotions....of a iridescent hue.

Locked into an emotion
desolate and desperate
for a hand to hold on to
fighting the emptiness
that a masterpiece brings
if Jesus is the creator
how lonely is he??

Changing...no one is to blame
just when I turn around
you are not the same......
late night promises
that are left in the dark...
late night memories...
when we made our start.
Impress to the Challenge.
the fun is gone in the night
I sit alone and crying...
I am the same.....I gave up the fight...

Time they say....is the cure for all pains
But I am lost and stranded...
and time I can find none of.
I've given till I am beaten.
Strung out and Misunderstood
Walk without thinking...
Talk without making a sound.
Black is my soul.....
And you are no where around......

Would you look at me the same
if you seen me tonight?
Branded a-l-o-n-e
with not a name to call my own.
Said vows that were to last forever
Made promises I intended to keep.
Forced by the hand of another...
to pay back, get out and run for cover..
lost my heart to a memory
of what use to be.
Gave my soul to feel needed
and ended up here
a-l-o-n-e

I seen you out of the corner of my screen
something about philosophy
and who really  gave a damn....
You caught my eye
and stole my heart
one single world....keeping us apart.
Days turned into Ages
and Months into years..
All in one moment
When i seen your name just sitting there.
Don't know about the physical attraction
I'd only seen your name
Typeset at eleven
I wanted to be the one that you needed.
But I knew I could not be.
Wanted to be the one your heart longed for
Even if you had your doubts.
Nights filled with a drawn-out  email
pouring out my soul
days filled with regret
for what i said the night before
Couldn't figure out what made you different
or why my heart felt at home..
All I know is you are Mr. Perfect
how could one be any more??

Can I tell you that I love you
even though I'm not for sure
This heart has been twisted
and  is feeling very insecure.
Can I tell you I want you
even though need is a more
opportune word.
This heart is lonely and you
are what I've been looking for.
Made my life out of promises
that never were fulfilled
Turned my yesterday into memories
and my tomorrow's into a battlefield.
Can I tell you I love you.....

departed memories.
misguided tomorrows
feel my heart beating.
alone and sad
Where were you when i needed you.
Where are you now?

 We walked in darkness
holding on to a dream
We walked in darkness
and I called you mine
We walked in darkness
or was it I, that was blind?
 
For 10 years we shared our memories
built dreams on sinking sand
Three beautiful children
one solid wedding band.
and a destiny...i never planned.

Tis the world as it turns...
its unfair moments
that keep us far away
from the ones we love....
Reaching out to hold a memory
a voice on the line...
Saying I love you
in the wind....
hearing it echo through the holler'
filling my heart once again...
Two soup cans across the miles
placed against our ears
two heartbeats ...beating together
with the rhythm of
what could of been.

Carry the weight of the world on your shoulders
feeling the pain of the loss
the love that once was yours
and all the times that you've lost
I've stood at  your feet
and begged to take some of the pain
To be a part of your solitude
welcomed in the rain....

wonder what it takes to feel fulfilled? If I dream of it, then I should have a plan of action to make it happen.  A lot of times I feel like I am on the edge of insanity, just holding on by a smile....The times I really want someone here to talk to...there is no one around...the times I don't feel like I have a moment to myself....there everyone is.  The way of the world...I suppose, the way of my world at any rate.


Time....
 
Trapped in a world that only offers solutions
with the passing of time..
Walking down the path in blindness
and there isn't any "Wrong Way" signs
 
Waiting for the moments
that help close the door to yesterday
Memories flowing through open windows
and with my heart, I pay.
 
Lost in a place where I feel in
competition...
of the past where you reside
Suffocating in the swirl of your memories
and insecurities are all I can find.