Aao toh WELCOME, jaao toh BHEED kam!

 
 
 
 
 
Tum Dhakkano Ke Bheje Hue SMS:
  1. Dear Subscriber, All your incoming SMS on ur mobile that contains joke on Sardar will be charged Rs10 per SMS as their Mental Development Fund.
    Sender: Manmohan Singh.
  2. Congress Government has announced that Sardarji jokes will be Banned. Because they will telecast them LIVE from Parliament!        (Contributed by Harbir Paaji)
  3. On first night husband said 2 his wife: Look darling before marriage I had slept with 10 girls.
    Wife replied: Jab kundli mili hai to goon to milenge hi na!        (Contributed by Rajesh)
  4. Two unborn twins in their mother's womb saw a penis. 1st unborn: Dekh papa aa rahe hai
    2nd unborn: abe chutiye woh JuNeD uncle hai, papa to SMS padh rahe hain.
  5. Apke sar pe sing hai kya?
    Check it
    Make sure
    No?
    R U Sure?
    pakka?
    Sir par hath laga ke dekha?

    Never mind. Gadhon ke bhi nahi hote!         (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  6. A judge charged Rs 540 fine to an accused of Rape. When asked why Rs 540 Judge replied: Rs 500 for rape and 8% Entertainment Tax!        (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  7. Main tumko yaar aaunga, tum mujhe yaad aaoge, meri tasveer le jaana mohabbat mein kaam aayegi,
    apni tasveer de jaana, bachho ko daraane ke kaam aayegi.         (Contributed by Momcy)
  8. 1980's: Friends remember U during good times and forget U during bad times...
    2004: Friends remember U when SMS is free and forget U when SMS is charged.   
    (Contributed by Mihir)
  9. Man goes 2 a hotel where only ladies r waiters. He orders milk. Waitress opens bra shows her tits n asks him 2 suck. Man says: Thank God! I didn't ask 4 water!!!
  10. Machhar ne apko kaata wo uska junun tha,
    Apne khuja liya usme apka sukun tha,
    Chah kar bhi apne usse nahi maara,
    kyun ki uski ragon me bhi apka khoon tha!        (Contributed by Dinkar)
  11. Manmohan ji ki priority:
    1)All sardar jokes r 2 b Banned
    2)12 nahi bajenge. 11 ke baad 1 bajega.
    3)Bolo tara ra ra will be the national anthem!        (By Yours Truly)
  12. 10+10=Bees, le mere lund ki Kiss
    Bis+Bis=Chalis, kar mere lund ki maalish
    Chalis+Chalis=Assi, pee mere lund ki lassi
    Assi+Assi=Ekso Saath, Le mera lund chat.        (Gross msg from Imran Hashmi)
  13. Sachha DESHPREMI kaun hai?
    The one sitting on an English Toilet in INDIAN STYLE!!        (Contributed by Dinkar)
  14. Kore kagaj pe likha hai tera naam...
    tasvir bhi utaari hai, aur likha hai ye paigam.....
    ZINDA YA MURDA PAKADNE WALE KO RS 1000 INAAM!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  15. 3 good manners of male penis.
    1) Courteous- it stands before performing.
    2) Emotional- it cries during the performance.
    3) Polite- it bows down after the performance.        (Contributed by Max)
  16. Met a gorgeous whore today. Says she charges by the Inch. I can't afford her, but she'd be a cheap fuck for you...!!        (Contributed by Mihir)
  17. Bar-Bapor ni loo cho tame, dosti na naam par thu cho tame, hu su kahu su cho tame?
    dhoyeli gand par chotelu ghu cho tame!!        (Contributed by Max)
  18. When I was sad U were there, When I was heart broken U were there, When I was financially down U were there. Maa Kasam Bahot Badi Panauti Hai Tu!!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  19. Manmohan Singh sits on top of a mountain and studies.. When a journalist asked what was he doing.. He replies: Higher Studies!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  20. Woh aaye meri kabar pe, chal diye moot ke, chalo isi bahane darshan hogaye chut ke, badi thi uski chut pan bhenchod ab kya fayda jab hum ban gaye bhoot!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  21. Chaho to dil se hamko mita dena, chaho to hamko bhula dena, par yeh wada karo ki, aaye kabhi yaad hamari to rona mat... GAND MEIN UNGLI DALKE HILA LENA..         (Contributed by Momcy)
  22. Do U know that pregnant Sardarnis are often referred to as with 'ISI' Mark. Strange na!!!
    Dont laugh as 'ISI' means 'Idiot Sardar Inside'.        (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  23. What did Ramu say when he saw a surgical glove?
    Shyam lagta to condom hai par Draupadi ke zamane ka hai!!         (Contributed by Momcy)
  24. Munna ratko sota nahi tha... Maa boli "Munna soja nahi to Gabbar aajayega"..
    Munna bola: Rs. 5 de nahi to papa ko bol dunga ratko roj GABBAR aata hai..   (Contributed by Adnan)
  25. Once Manmohan went to a party with his family n introduced them to his friends saying... I am Sardar n this is Sardarnee, this is my kid n that is my Kidney...!!    (Contributed by Momcy)
  26. Arz kiya hai... Dheere se thoko sanam, mehangai ka zamana hai...
    6 inch ke item ko zindagi bhar chalaana hai..!!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  27. High Tech Manmohan Inventions!
    1. Waterproof Towel.
    2. Solar Powered Torch.
    3. Book on how 2 read!
    4. Pedal powered Wheel Chair!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  28. Jaise- Lohe ko loha kaatata hai, sone ko sona kaatata hai, zeher ko zeher kaatata hai, heere ko heera kaatata hai.... Waise hee... Ek din tumhe kutta kaategaa!        (Contributed by Anand)
  29. Manmohan Singhji bachpan se hi heraan, pareshaan aur full tension mein ye socha karte theh ki "Meri bahen ke do bhai phir mera ek hi bhai kyon??        (Contributed by Momcy)
  30. Question: How do U confuse Manmohan Singh?
    Answer: Put him in round room and tell him to sit in corner!!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  31. Laloo went 2 USA 2 learn English. After 3 months Rabdi Devi calls Bush to ask, if Laloo is learning English. Bush replied: E susara kabhi angreji nahi sikh sakta!        (Contributed by Jennifer)
  32. Manmohan Singh is repeatedly buying movie tickets. Finally the ticket seller asks him why?
    Our PM says: Koi us darwaze ke pas meri ticket faad deta hai!!        (Contributed by Zuber)
  33. Last night I had a dream.. I was walking along the beach with GOD.. I asked him 'Why i've a friend like U'... God replied: Sab pichle janmo ka paap hai!!         (Contributed by Momcy)
  34. Man is born through a hole, When he grows up he searches for holes, When he dies he is buried in a hole.
    That's why his nick name is ASSHOLE!!        (Contributed by Momcy)
  35. What is life after all? Take a girl behind the wall, Remove her protection, show ur projection, fix the connection, pour the solution, enjoy the situation.        (Contributed by Adnan)
  36. Love making cricket style = Remove covers. Fiddle with points, Stretch fine legs, Take out short leg put it into deep gully, Start Batting...        (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  37. Teri dosti bahot pyari isme koi shak nahi, teri dosti sabse pyari isme koi shak nahi, par sabne teri gand mari kya mera koi haq nahi?        (Contributed by Momcy)
  38. A Poet seeing Qutub Minar - Aye Qutub kya kahoon teri shann mein, Aye Qutub kya kahoon teri shann mein... Aisa lagta hai jaise dharti ka lund ghus raha ho aasmaan ki gand mein!    (Contributed by Momcy)
  39. Three things I LIKE about YOU
    1._____
    2._____
    3._____
    Arrey yaar kuch to acha kiya hota zindagi mein!        (Contributed by Jennifer)
  40. After finishing MBBS... Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice. He checked his FIRST patient's eyes, tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?
    "Battery is OK"        (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  41. Woman: Doctor, I got brown discharge at my vagina. Is it infection?
    Doctor: How often do u have sex?
    Woman: about once a month
    Doctor: Its not infection, its rust!        (Contributed by Jennifer)
  42. A prostitute after taking Sardar's dick in her mouth: Rs 1000 de varna isko kaat dungi!
    Sardarji: Rs 5000 de varna su su kar dunga!       (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  43. Its obvious that animals are smarter than humans. Put 8 horses in a race & 20,000 people will go to see it. But put 8 people in a race & not 1 horse will go to see it.        (Contributed by Imran Hashmi)
  44. Sardar ki jhang jal gayi. Doctor ne BURNOL aur VIAGRA likh ke di. Sardar: Burnol to samjha par viagra kyon? Doctor: Blanket uncha rahega!        (Contributed by SamDev)
  45. Man to salesman: ye kachhe ki kya gurantee hai?
    Salesman: Tum 12 floor ki building se jump karo, gand fategi lekin yeh kachha nahi!
  46. Hello! Sorry to bother you! I am your mobile. Just wanted to get out of your pocket! The smell next to your balls was unbearable! I think your dick is dead!        (Contributed by Cyrus)
  47. Shadi ke baad aadmi ki halat uss pinjre ke bandar ki tarah hai, jo gulati to maar sakta hai par chadne ke liye ek hi ped hota hai!        (Contributed by Mihir)
  48. Musharraf got kidnapped and 100 Million demanded or they will burn him.
    Please donate for the good cause. I have donated 25 leters of Kerosene!
  49. How do you embarass an archeologist?
    Give him a used WHISPER and ask him to find which PERIOD it belongs to!!  (Contributed by Momcy)
  50. SMS ka sangrah karke kya payega vats? Balance ka moh chhod aur SMS kar... Mitro se sampark banaye rakhne me hi Swarg ki prapti hai...
    - Swami JuNeDanand Messageacharya

Next Page

WHATS NEW?
Latest Updated SMS
Bole Toh Ismein Ekdum Taaza Maal Hai Bhedu... LAGE RAHO
 
 

*Disclaimer*
This is my sincere effort to make people laugh. 'Coz I believe Laughter is the Best Medicine.
The SMS which are there at the moment in my site are meant to have a good laugh and it is not directly aimed at any Individual or Community. And do help me make this site better by giving a regular feedback at +91 9825008042 and posting in your valuable SMS at SMSbhai@on.to I will post it on the website on it's popularity....

 
 
*Dis ka claimer*
*Jin chutiyo ko yeh angrezi mein likha samaj nahi aaya unke liye neeche desi mein likha hai*
Woh kya hai na bhedu, apun logo ko hasaane ki koshish kar rahela hai. Bole toh, hasi to chehre par hona ich maangta! Lekin yeh sab jo SMS apun ne daalela hai woh kisi par AIM nahi kiyela hai.
O Paaji, tu samaj rahela hai na, ki baara baj gaye?
 

Compiled & Updated Everyday by :-

JuNeD, SMS Bhai

For More Info or Comments,

Email me at SMSbhai@on.to or Call/SMS me at +91 9825008042

I dont encourage Missed Calls !!

 

©JuNeD, The SMS Bhai™

All Rights Unreserved!