"What is that" Ringo asked George as he noticed the lead guitarist messing with a large, strange-looking contraption in the middle of the living room."It's my time machine," Replied George, beaming at it. Ringo snorted and plopped down on the couch.
"Looks like a big piece of metal to me."
"Well, duh, that's what it is!" He snapped.
"I bet it doesn't work!" the drummer taunted.
"It does so!" George argued!
"You couldn't build lump out of clay!"
"Could so!"
"Could not!"
Ringo kicked George and George kicked Ringo. In fact George kicked Ringo so hard that he flew back into the time machine that clicked on with a loud whhiirrr. The door snapped shut.
"I told you that this thing was a piece of junk!" Ringo called out, sounding slightly muffled.
George ran over to try to stop the machine, but it was too late. The machine stopped "whhiirring" and the screen displayed the results. As the words displayed themselves, George cried out in horror as he realized the mistake that was just made.
Four Ringo's, each wearing identical clothes (except one who was wearing eyeliner) stepped out of the machine. They looked at George with total and complete shock , then burst out laughing. "He's the biggest rat if I ever saw one!"
This all would have been very funny to George, if he didn't look like an overgrown rodent. "I do not look like a rodent!" He said.
The Ringo with the eyeliner stopped and eyed George suspiciously. "You know, you don't look like rodent now that I look at you...you look like--
a rodent!!!! BWA HAHAHA!"
George frowned. Then he remembered another key thing about his cloning machine. He ran from the room screaming.
John looked up from his guitar as George ran screaming through the den. "Ringos" *gasp* "Clone" *gasp* "mistake" *gasp* "Killers!" He ran from the room to tell Paul.
Paul looked witheringly at the red-in-the-face George, who was on the verge of an anxiety breakdown. "What's up with you then?" Paul asked, not looking one bit concerned.
"I cloned Ringo, and now there are four evil ones, they're going to kill us all!" He screamed in terror then hid under the bed.
Paul cocked an eyebrow. "Now how on earth would you do that? Your barely smart enough to figure out how to open a door, and now this!"
...or one of the Ringo's anyway.
Paul scowled. "You know, a shower couldn't hurt once in awhile you dirty rat boy." He sneered, and went back to his--er...magazine. Ringo (or one of them) stood in the doorway, looking bloody (literally) awful.
One of the Ringo's had already gotten it's prey...
"MR MOUSIE!!" John screeched.
Paul ran into the living room where John has screamed. George, meanwhile, hid under the bed, "They are gonna kill you!" he cried.
Paul found a dreadful sight...
"John! What are you doing?" He kicked John in the shin where he was sprawled, playing dead with a glass of tomato juice. "I just had the carpet cleaned!"
John did not move.
"John, stop it, and clean up this mess. I don't want to hear you blame anything else on Mr. Mousie." Paul stopped to take a look at Mr. Mousie who was watching TV and nibbling on one of Paul's comic books, "MR. MOUSIE!!!!" he exclaimed.
John grunted and sat up, holding his head, "I fooled ya, didn't I, Paulie?" only "Paulie" was cut off as he saw one of the Ringos holding up a very large leg of lamb...
"Hey! That's mine!" Mr. Mousie yelled throwing down Paul's magazine, even though he didn't have any arms to do this with.
The mad Ringo dodged the flying magazine and hurtled poor John who wasn’t moving again.
Mr. Mousie started throwing tomatoes at him until he dropped the lambleg, and ate Mr. Mousie in gulp...
"Mr. Mousie!" Paul cried! "Ringo! What has gotten into you? You love Mr. Mousie!"
Ringo picked up the leg of lamb again and started after Paul. He cried out in terror and fled from the room!
From the other room, George was heard yelling,
“I TOLD YOU!!!”
Paul let out a squeak in protest then locked evil Ringo up in a closet with his beloved lamb-leg.
*POOF* Paul transforms into Indiana Jones *POOF* He whipped his lasso, "This means WAR!" He cried.
John still lay on the floor, not having any idea what there was better to do, George was still under the bed, figuring out how to arrange this in a comfortable way since he was going to be under there for awhile and Ringo was nowhere in sight. Well the good one anyway.
"HEY! KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!"
Came the helpless cries from Paul’s battleground…
Hearing Paul's tortured cries finally drove George from underneath the bed. As he climbed out from under the bed, he met face to face with Ringo, who was holding a...
Before he could see what it was, another Ringo entered the room.
They were both armed and dangerous. This wasn't exactly what George wanted to see. "No Ringo! It's me, your friend! Your poolstick!"
The two Ringo's stopped a second, but then just kept right on walking. One of the Ringo's was holding a clock radio, the other was holding Paul's lasso. It wasn't pretty. The next minute, a cry of terror breaks through the groovilisious battleground of Indiana Paul. John's ears perked up, he stopped gnawing on Mr. Mousie's forgotten magazine and looked around, then continued eating.
A second later the two Ringo's walk out licking lolipops, with George right behind them. "Eat up now you too, you wouldn't want all that yummy poison to go waste!" The two Ringo's, being very stupid, had no idea what poison was...
Soon, George and John were surrounded by Ringos. Five of them. Two of which were eating poison lolipops, the other 3 claiming they were the real Ringo. Nobody knew where Paul was. but one Ringo did have a rope around his neck.
"The next task at hand," George was saying, trying to sound intelligent, is figuring out which is the REAL Ringo."
"I am!" all five Ringos declared at once.
"We better ask a question that only Ringo would know!" John pointed out.
"I knew that!" George claimed, "Which one of you plays the drums?"
All five replied, "I do."
Suddenly the two stupid Ringos collapsed onto the floor, still clutching the lollipops, it was awfully horrible to see, but anyone trying to imitate Ringo Starr had another thing coming and I guess that's what it was. Anyway, George stroked his chin a minute and stared at the remaining 3.
"There's only three left," John said.
"I knew that too!" George snapped. "Ok, last question, what’s my middle name?" He and John exchanged satisfied grins.
The 3 Ringo's except one were dumbfounded. Finally two responded: "Fred" and "Wilma".
It was obvious who the real Ringo was here...
Because you see, George does not have a middle name..
George stood looking very proud of himself.
John rolled his eyes, "So now what? Are you going to make the bad Ringos disappear?"
George was too busy thinking about what he would have liked his middle name to be that the Ringos mixed themselves up again. Now they couldn't tell them apart again!
Fred and Wilma giggled at George's lack of intelligence then walked over and looked in the fridge. Upon seeing that there was nothing there, Wilma picked George up and heaved him at John, John retaliated by picking up the real Ringo and tossing him at the fake Ringo. "Hey watch it Lennon!" He snapped brushing himself off.
"He knows me!" Ringo looked down at John and was a little startled when he noticed that John was positively beaming at him.
"What's wrong with you?" The real Ringo asked, backing away alarmingly.
"Uh oh!" a fake Ringo cried out, switching himself with the real Ringo while twirling in circles with him. Both Ringo's were soon dizzy and they each passed out into two other Ringos' arms.
John sighed as he dragged the two unconscious Ringo's to the couch and ducked as a lamp flew across the room.
The other two Ringos chased after him with another lamp and the leg of lamb. George ran away and hid under the kitchen table.
Seeing as though Ringo's were popping out faster then George's eyebrows, he decided to think fast. Which looked very difficult. Fred, Wilma, and the two other Ringos were still chasing John around the table, dropping down in a chair every once and awhile to take a break. Pretty soon everyone was playing musical chairs, (except George who was still in a deep state of thinking, which wasn't coming out as planned).
Anyway, Indiana Paul suddenly came out, whipping his lasso and joining in the musical chairs game. As the Indiana Jones theme song played in the background, (stopping every few moments to keep the game in effect) the endless chase around the table continued. Paul tried to lasso a Ringo but missed. Unfortunately, he got a John instead. And even more unfortunately, there was only one John.
"Get him George! Who cares about your middle name!" Paul cried out tackling his prey. George jumped from under the table and started his classic strangling.
During this escapade, the evil Ringos had trapped the real Ringo in a corner. One held that stupid leg of lamb, and the others closed in....
This plan would have all worked out, until something went horribly wrong. The lamb-leg, being out of the cold where it was supposed to be, was spreading some kind of bacterial disease....
The Ringo holding the bloody diseased leg suddenly collapsed to the floor.
For a second, the Beatles felt sorry for him, but only for a minute. George jumped to the machine, pressed a few buttons and got ready for John and Paul to single out the real Ringo.
"What is my name?" Paul asked the 3 remaining Ringos.
"Bonnie."
"Clyde"
"James Paul McCartney!"
George aimed a laser-type thingie at the three impostors and pressed a big red button labeled "THE BIG RED BUTTON".
All the Ringos, except for the real one, were zapped into the unknown, including Mr. Mousie (who was still trapped inside someone's stomach) and the bloody rotting lamb-leg. In a flash of light, the time machine broke down and crashed to the floor.
All three Beatles were staring at George as though he'd just set off a bomb.
"Any more stunts like that, George and were kicking you out!" Paul said, with a shrewd and calculating look.
George sighed... "Well at least they are gone!"
"Yeah, but they would have never gotten here if it wasn't for you!" John said.
George looked at the floor sheepishly, "I'm sorry fellas, I was just testing my machine out on Ringo. I never meant for it to work. And it wasn't even my time machine anyway!" he walked out of the room, sniffing, "But now I can't test any of my inventions anymore!" he wailed, now breaking to a run.
As he was running, he didn't notice something lying on the floor.
T-T-T-T-R-R-R-R-I-I-I-P-P-P-P!!!!
He went sailing, almost in slow motion (for more effect) and landed face first in a pile of...
Paul's girlie magazines.
He coughed and choked, surrounded by the ultimate torture. What a horrible way to go...
Paul came tearing down the hall, stepping on something as he passed "SQUEEK". He slowly turned, forgetting all about his nibbled, torn girly mags, and found...
"MR. MOUSIE!" He picked up the tattered mouse and stroked it's long black nose. "Hey guys! Look what I found!"
The three Beatles quickly forgot about George's awful suffering and began rejoicing over the recovery of Mr. Mousie.
Ringo hugged and kissed Mr. Mousie until he almost smothered him. "I'm so happy you're back," he told his pet, holding back tears of joy.
And so, despite the fact that the Beatles dinner had rotted away and was sucked into nothing but a scrap of metal which was now nothing but a heap in the middle of the living room, everything was back to normal. Even George was forgetting his problems, and had second thoughts about jumping head first off a tall building.
"We love you Mr. Mousie!"
The end "Hey! Wait a minute! You’re not Mr. Mousie!"
