Noah/Blackie’s
Slipping quietly back into the bedroom, Blackie set the cup on the nightstand before crawling back in the bed. Sliding his arm around Noah’s waist and his mouth to his neck he whispered, “Morning, Doc.”
With a low purr Noah answered, “Where were you?”
“Your coffee,” he answered as he slid his hand over the man’s waist, hips, and thighs; “But it’s way too hot to drink.”
Pulling Blackie in tighter, he thrust his hips gently against the other man’s “Can’t be hotter then what I have here in my hands.
Pressing his lips to Noah’s he moaned as he kissed him hard, “Trust me, it is.”
Groaning the doctor continued to caress the man’s body and kissed his mouth as Blackie’s legs came up wrapping tightly around his waist.
The younger man then rolled to his back pulling the doctor atop him.
Groaning Noah ground his hips down against Blackie as the other man’s grip on his back tightened.
His hands tangling in Blackie’s hair, Noah twisted his fingers pulling then releasing. Feeling the lurch of his lover’s body he did it again never breaking their kiss.
Pulling back and arching his neck, Blackie panted Noah’s name as he raised his hips off the bed his legs still firmly gripping the man’s waist.
“So delicious,” Noah whimpered, his mouth falling to the man’s throat as he drug his tongue against the flesh.
Monosyllabic groans escaping him, Blackie met the other man’s grinds as he clawed at the man’s back.
“I want you,” Noah moaned as he mumbled up his neck to his ear.
“I need you,” Blackie answered with mounting intensity.
“I want to look in your eyes,” Noah said as he rolled himself to his back pulling the other man atop him. Lifting his knees then lifting Blackie’s hips, Noah guided him down entering the man’s body with little resistance, both of their passionate cries filling the room.
Moving his hands from Blackie’s hips, Noah pushed them up Blackie’s sweat slick stomach and chest to his face encasing it and smiling up into the other man’s eyes. “Love you,” he whispered near tearfully.
Catching the man’s fingers in his mouth, Blackie sucked them in, “With all that I am,” he answered as he met his thrusts.
Hearing Noah’s passionate cries coming louder and more urgently he let his own hand find his throbbing member. “Come on baby,” he encouraged as his own orgasm began to wash over him, his body trembling and his primal cries coming from deep within.
Blackie’s hot seed hitting Noah’s stomach pushed him over the edge and he cried out as the waves coursed through his body and he came deep inside his lover.
PCU
Hand in hand Devin and Charlie walked into the lobby of the dorm building. "We can get the big bags later right?" Charlie asked as he released Devin's hand and went to their mailbox against the wall.
“Fine with me,” Devin said with a smile as he looked over Charlie’s shoulder as he pulled the mail from the box. “I have to run over to the hospital in a bit to pick my schedule and a check. We can unpack when I get back?”
"Yeah, I just want to get warm first. I can't believe my fucking car wouldn't start." As he leafed through the mail he frowned. "Our grades are here."
“Getting warm sounds fun,” Devin grinned as he wrapped an arm around the other teen’s waist. “Can I have mine, please?”
The boy pasted a smile on his face and handed over the envelope. Then pulled away, "I'm going up. You coming?"
“What’s wrong?” Devin asked as took a couple quick steps to catch up with Charlie.
He shrugged. "Nothing, just cold."
“Maybe we can do something about that,” He whispered huskily as he tried to slip his arm around Charlie’s waist again.
Hitting the button for the elevator he curled his body into the blond boy's. "Not down here we can't."
“Then we better go upstairs,” he smiled as he nudged them both into the elevator and pushed the button. As the doors close he kissed the other teen’s mouth, then said. “I had a lot of fun at your dad’s, thank you.”
"I'm glad." he smiled and leaned into the kiss. "I just wish Dad had warned me about Vanessa and Jake."
“Is that what’s wrong?” Devin asked softly, pushing his fingers through Charlie’s hair. “You don’t like your dad’s girlfriend?”
"Nothing is wrong ok,” he almost screamed as the door opened and he ran down to their room.
Giving Charlie a minute, Devin paused before he followed him into their room. “I’m sorry,” he said as he looked up toward his lover, shocked to see the silver flask he had thought he had long gotten rid of to his mouth. “WHAT are you doing?” He said crossly.
Continuing to gulp from the flask till it was empty he looked over with cold eyes. "What do you care?"
As though slapped Devin turned away from Charlie quickly, trying to maintain brewing tears he spit. “What do I care? You think I don’t care?”
Instantly feeling guilty he dropped the object in his hand and turned to his boyfriend. "Dev....."
“What?” He forced out, swallowing pain.
He held out the still unopened letter from the scholarship department.
Turning and looking at the return address, he swallowed, then inched closer to Charlie opening his arms to him, “You think. . . ?”
He shrugged his shoulders. "What else could it be?"
“Were your grades that bad?”
He handed over his open report card. "2 c's 1 F and the rest d's"
Shaking his open arms a bit hoping Charlie would come to him he said, “You had a hard start, Baby. It’s okay, we’ll figure something out.”
“I'm being thrown out of school," he cried as he moved in closer but not quite touching.
Moving in a step himself he pulled the teen tight in his arms and smoothed his hair. “It’s probably not that bad, Charlie, maybe probation, maybe suspended some of your scholarships, but we’ve saved a lot of money between your dad’s checks and my working. We’ll work it out.”
"What's the point? I'm stupid."
“No, No you’re not.” Devin insisted. “You spent the first few weeks of the term going through a lot of shit. You would have never got those scholarships to begin with if you weren’t smart, baby.”
He reached over and picked up the flask. "Want more."
“You know that’s not the answer,” he said firmly. “Come on, open the letter and let’s see exactly what you’re dealing with.”
"Want more." he repeated a little louder.
He tightened his grip on Charlie and kissed his forehead, “I know you do.”
"Go get me some?"
“No,” he whispered. “I’ll do anything for you but that.”
"Ok, let's go. Take me to the store and I'll get it myself."
“So you’re just going to throw the last couple months away?” He asked tearfully.
Quickly pulling away he grabbed his jacket and ran to the door. "Fuck it and fuck you too," he yelled as he left.
As the door slammed, Devin angrily pushed himself from the bed, crossed the room, then kicked the desk, “Fuck me? Fuck him! I don’t need his fucking whiney shit anymore.”
Down in the parking lot Charlie started his car and began to pull out of the lot when he looked up at their room and spotted Devin leaning in the window. 'I can't.' he said to himself as he parked the car and headed back into the building.
Watching from the window as Charlie re-parked the car, and got out. Devin turned and went back across the room dropping to the bed, ‘I’m not that strong’ he repeated to himself over and over again, ‘I can’t go through it again.’
Pushing open the door to their room Charlie leaned in the doorway. "I'm sorry."
Burying his head in his hands, Devin simply nodded.
"You hate me?"
He shook his head and choked out, “I love you, that’s. .. why. . I can’t destroy you.”
Walking into the room he picked up the letter and offered it out. "Will you read it? I'm trying to hang on here and I'm afraid."
Reaching out to take the envelope from Charlie, Devin kept his head turned to the bed unwilling to show the other teen his tear filled eyes. Taking the envelope, he opened it, and scanned down the page. “Academic probation,” he said flatly, trying to contain emotion. “No changes to your scholarship at this time, but if your grades don’t go up, you will lose one of them.”
Visible relief washed over Charlie's face but then he quickly clouded over. "How long do I have and which one will I lose?"
Offering the letter back he said, “a semester. It’s all there.”
Taking it and reading he whispered. "That's the one for housing. I'll have to move out."
Curling tighter inside himself physically and emotionally he answered, “You’ll work on getting your grades up, if you don’t we’ll deal with it then.”
Numbly he nodded. Looking at the flask he said quietly. "I still want more."
“Then I guess you have some choices to make,” Devin answered.
Moving closer he whispered almost inaudibly. "Hold me till it passes?"
Devin nodded and opened his arms to the man, lowering his physical walls but keeping his emotional ones firmly in place.
Moving into his arms he kissed him softly. "I'm sorry, Devin."
“Shhhh,” Devin whispered as he held him tight. “I’m sorry ‘bout your grades. Things will get better,” he continued though he wondered if he had the strength inside him to get the two of them through anything else.
Martin’s House
Running down the steps, then into the kitchen Randy found Martin and Drew drinking coffee and eating their breakfast over the morning newspaper. “Good morning, Daddy,”
Randy exclaimed as he tried to crawl into Martin’s lap.
Setting the paper down on the table, Martin helped him up into his lap kissing his cheek, “Good morning, Son. You hungry?”
“Uh-hu,” he answered. “Can I have cocoa-pebbles?”
Smiling as he pushed his fingers through the boy’s hair he said, “Sure you can.”
As Martin slid the boy off his lap to stand and guided him back down to his chair, Drew looked over his paper and smiled at the boy, “He needs a cup of coffee too, Marty.”
Randy laughed, “DREW! I don’t drink coffee.”
“Oh yeah!” The older man giggled back.
Coming back to the table and setting the box on the table followed by the bowl spoon and glass, Martin first poured the cereal into the bowl, then the milk before asking, “Glass of milk? Or would you rather have orange juice?”
“Apple Juice?” Randy asked shyly.
“We can do that,” Martin smiled ruffling the boy’s hair as he went back to retrieve it from the refrigerator.
“When do I go to Mommy’s?” The boy asked as Martin approached the table again.
Trying to suppress his disappointment at the situation the man answered. “After lunch, Drew and I have to leave for Washington at 2.”
After swallowing the spoonful of cereal he looked up into Martin’s eyes, “You’re going to call me?”
”Everyday,” he answered.
“And come back to this house on Friday?”
He nodded, “And you will come spend the weekend with me and Drew. Is that all right?”
He nodded with a big smile, “Uh-hu! That’s great. I start school tomorrow right?”
“Yes you do,” Martin responded. “and I’m going to call you after to hear all about your first day.”
After pushing the last spoonful of cereal in his mouth, he looked up to Martin again with a smile, “Can I go watch TV, Daddy?”
He nodded, “Go on.”
After the boy had left the room, Drew reached out and took Martin’s hand, “I know it’s hard, Marty.”
“Yeah it is,” he answered leaning over into Drew’s arms, “But it is the best for him to stay here with Karen during the week and go to school here.”
“I think so too,” Drew answered planting a light kiss on the other man’s forehead, “But I know it makes you a little sad.”
Nodding he answered, “Yeah, a little bit. “ Picking up the plates from the table Martin started for the sink, “It’s just been nice these last two weeks. It will be ok though. It’s only five days.” He said positively as he began to wash the dishes.
Noah/Blackie’s
Carefully turning back as he was standing on the ladder, Blackie reached down and asked, “Can you hand me that screw driver, Noah?”
"Philips or flat head, Babe?" the doctor asked as he slid his hand up and over Blackie's ass to his back to steady him.
“Phillips,” he answered and moaned softly as the man’s hands grazed his backside.
Looking again at the blinds he was putting up he asked, “You like this gray-blue? It’s not too dreary for a baby’s room, is it?”
Picking it up he handed it to his lover and then climbed up one rung from the bottom and wrapped his arms around his waist. "No, I like it and the darker colors will help shield his eyes from the sunlight."
Smiling as he tightened the screw into the wall he then leaned back into the man’s arms. “All done,” he whispered.
Stepping down and guiding his lover back into his embrace Noah smiled. "It's wonderful. What do you say I clean up this mess since you did most of the setup work?"
Turning in the man’s arms, he hugged him then shook his head, “You got to leave for the clinic in a little bit. How ‘bout we sit and talk for awhile, and I’ll clean this up later.”
"Hot tub?"
“Actually I was thinking right here,” He said as he guided him and Noah both to the floor, and then smiled widely as he looked around the room. “It’s almost here, Noah.”
Hugging the younger man tight Noah smiled. "You're right. I love you Blackie, have I told you that today?"
“Only a couple dozen times,” he laughed as he relaxed in the man’s arms. “Kinda funny isn’t it?”
He smiled. "What is?"
“It feels like yesterday that we were living over Kelly’s or even had just moved in here. I never even thought about imagining this for us then, now I can’t imagine life without our family.”
Noah tightened his embrace and kissed his cheek. "We are always changing. It wasn't that long ago that the idea of kids gave you the creepy crawlies."
Turning enough to return the man’s kiss he smiled and nodded, “That’s what I mean.” He touched Noah’s cheek and kissed him again, “Things have been really good again lately, right? I mean you’re happy now again too, aren’t you?”
"Yeah I am, though I was afraid for awhile that we would never be this happy again."
“Me too,” he admitted curling his head into Noah’s shoulder. “And I just wanted to tell you I know how hard you’ve been working at making sure I’m feeling good about us, and I appreciate it,” He stammered, “I’m saying this wrong... I just mean that I want you to know that I recognize how hard you’ve fought for us, but you can relax now . . . life is good,” he smiled.
"Yeah it is, but I don't ever want it to not be ever again. I live for your smile."
“This morning made me smile,” he said lewdly and then turned straddling Noah’s lap. He then whispered in his ear, “I loved it when you pulled my hair.”
"Yeah?" he grinned, running his fingers through the man's hair and pulling slightly. "I just went with it, but then until you responded I was afraid you'd be mad."
He shook his head, then moved in and kissed the man’s lips lightly, “That’s one thing that hasn’t changed. I still like it a little rough. The last few weeks I needed what we’ve been doing, but you know, for variety,” he said with raised eyebrows.
Fear quickly grabbing a hold Noah stammered. "W-w-what do you mean?"
Taking a deep breath Blackie pushed his hands up Noah’s cheeks and through his hair, “Just that I enjoyed it. I like it, I wouldn’t mind if you do it again, and you can show your passion for me in all the ways we always have.”
"I-I----what do you mean?"
“What’s wrong?” Blackie asked as he slid his hands down Noah’s arms, “You’re shaking.”
"You're----I can't." he began to cry. "Blackie if I do that we'll get broke again."
“If you do what?” he asked. “What do you think I’m going to ask you for?”
As his chest constricted he grabbed his left arm. "I can't hurt you again. You'll leave me."
Watching the man he loved going pale in front of him, he moved from the man’s lap and put an arm around his shoulder, ‘fuck!’ he said to himself, “I’m sorry, Noah. Lay down. Where are they?”
"Pocket." he forced out. "Blackie, I love you. I'm afraid."
Pulling the bottle from the doctor’s pocket, opening it, dumping a few into his hand, he offered it up to Noah, then leaned in and kissed the man’s cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, Babe. I’m so sorry I ever said I would.”
Placing a pill under his tongue he mumbled "No you will, that's why..." he gave way to his sobs. "Blackie."
Laying down over Noah and hugging his neck he said, “I’m right here, Babe.”
"Never wanted to hurt you," he mumbled.
“I know,” he wept against the man’s shoulder. “And I don’t want to go all the way back, but there are some things I miss, things we did before the collar, things we’ve always done.”
"Like?" he whispered.
Kissing the tears from the man’s cheeks then eyes, he whispered, “The hair pulling, the biting, tying my hands,” he offered, and then stopped himself from continuing.
"I like that stuff too but it led to the collar and it almost destroyed you and us."
“I don’t want the collar back,” he answered. “And I don’t want that stuff every night, but sometimes it would make things exciting.”
"I'm not enough for you?" he asked. "Just me?"
“It’s not that, Noah. You’re more then enough for me,” he paused. “You know what, never mind, okay. It’s okay.”
He shook his head. "No tell me. I might not be able to do it right now, but there was a time when talking about it was hot too wasn't there?"
“It’s not about being unhappy now, Noah. I swear I am. It’s just exciting for me. It’s a special little kick I like, and you liked too. Yeah, the talk made us hot, the skin-to-skin sweaty passion was fun. We did it before the collar, it had nothing to do with the collar and I enjoyed it. That’s all.”
"You want the chains and beatings don't you?" he asked fearfully, but somewhat calmer.
“Beatings – no,” He said shaking his head, “Chains? Not right now. . . some day, I don’t know.”
"Tell me what you want." Noah whispered holding him tight. "Of all the things we have done and you like, tell me what you want and I'll tell you if I can. Is that fair?"
He nodded and smiled, “Yeah that’s fair, but first things first. Are you ok? Should I call over to the hotel and get Bucky over here to check you out?”
He shook his head. "I'm fine, except if we could; can we go lay in the bed?"
“Sure, Babe,” Blackie whispered sliding his arm under Noah’s and helping him to his feet.
Laying down in the center of the bed Noah spread his legs and opened his arms. "Lay with me?"
Crawling into the bed he slid up the other man’s body, laying his head against Noah’s chest. “I love you, Noah. I always have, even when things were messed up.”
"I know." he answered sliding his fingers through the man's hair. "But you stopped feeling it because of what I did and I am so afraid of that happening again."
“Not you. . . us. . .I’m just as responsible for all of that as you are.” He slid up a little further and kissed the man’s chin. “All I was talking about in there was a little bedroom spice from time to time, not like when I had the collar on.”
He nodded slowly. "I think I can, but not like before. I can't do the hard Dom thing again Blackie. I know you are submissive to me and that is your choice but I can't give you an order."
Blackie wrapped his arms tighter around Noah, “That’s okay, Babe, I’m not asking for that. I have felt really really good about the last few weeks. I feel as close to you as I did before. I’m just talking about a little fun, just like this morning. The heat got the best of you and you grabbed my hair and it felt good,” he smiled.
"So will you tell me?" he asked. "I mean describe your desires to me in detail?"
“Yeah,” he smiled and nodded, rolling to his side and pulling Noah to his embracing and kissing him, “But, it not like there are really fantasies or anything . . .You know, but sometimes now when I’m underneath you, and I feel the weight of your body on mine, I imagine my hands are cuffed or tied to the headboard, or restrained some other way.”
Kissing him deeply Noah guided Blackie's arms above his head and into the cuffs that still hung from the hook. "Like that my love?"
“Just like that,” Blackie groaned low and deep tugging at the restraints a bit and his body lurching at the pleasure it gave him. “There’s something else,” he whispered, “But if you don’t want to it’s okay. Don’t get upset.”
Kissing him passionately and biting down on his bottom lip Noah grabbed the fabric of Blackie's gray t-shirt and ripped it from his body. "Tell me." he grunted as he moved his mouth to his chest and bit down.
“Holy fuck,” Blackie moaned passionately as his body lurched under Noah’s grinds, “Spanking,” he forced out before he lost his nerve, “not with paddles or crops or anything, just slaps with your hands.”
"Whatever you want with whatever you want, Blackie." Noah moaned against his mouth. "On one condition."
“What?” He gasped trying to capture the man’s mouth with his own.
"That everything we do is an equal give and take of pleasure. No Dom/sub games, Babe." He let his tongue fall into the man's mouth and slowly kissed him before pulling back. "I mean it, babe," he whispered quietly, the mood suddenly changing. "I can do that and I want to, I miss it. But I am only willing if you promise me you won't hold back if you are uncomfortable in any way."
“I will, totally open and honest,” He vowed. “That’s what I want, a mutual fun give-and-take. I don’t want you to be afraid anymore, Noah.”
"I want to please you," he whispered slowly. I love you so much, Blackie." he looked up at his hands still bound. "Are you ok? Are the cuffs too much for you?"
“You’re loving me pleases me,” He answered back in a hushed whisper. Pulling at them again he grinned, “They feel good, but I’ll tell you the minute that changes.”
"I trust you." he mumbled and then began to kiss his way down the man's body.
His body lifting from the bed as Noah’s caresses and kisses tantalized his flesh, Blackie moaned, “Yes, feels so good, Doc.”
Working the button and then the zipper of jeans he began to pull them down his hips. "I am so glad you don't have buttons anymore."
Laughing he answered, “Right at this moment, me too.”
Sliding them down and pulling away to take his shoes off Noah stood and admired Blackie’s semi bound completely naked body. "I love you so much."
Flexing his muscles a bit as he stretched his body taunt, arching his back enough to offer his entire body to the older man, Blackie passionately answered, “Me too, Doc, completely and forever.”
Pulling his shirt over his head and then quickly shedding his own shoes and pants Noah sat down on the foot of the bed and picked up Blackie's left foot, massaging it firmly. "Always."
“Always,” Blackie assured then whimpered under Noah’s touches.
Guiding the foot to his mouth he licked along the arch. "Mmmm tastes so good."
Thrashing his head back and forth as the sensations sent tingles through his entire body, the younger man thoroughly enjoyed the affection Noah showered on him.
Seeing and feeling his lover's reactions Noah lifted his other leg, exposing his ass. "Can you hold on just a little longer, Babe? I want to taste." and then brought his hand down against his flesh."
Blackie’s whimpers of anticipation turned to passionate cries resonating through the room as the sound of flesh against flesh hit his ears and the slight sting quickly became a heat shooting through him.
Counting to 3 Noah asked "Again?"
He nodded quickly. “Yes, Yes,” he begged.
Moving his hand a bit he came down slightly harder. Hearing Blackie cry out and his body shudder Noah pulled away and lowered his legs, immediately lying between his open legs. "More later if you want ok?" he asked before sucking the man into his mouth and beginning to hum.
Blackie cried out the other man’s name as he pulled hard against the cuffs and his hips lifted from the bed, his orgasm washing over his body and his seed spilling into his lover’s mouth. “Ohhh, fuck yes,” he panted.
Swallowing quickly and then choking slightly Noah grinned as he crawled up his body and straddled his chest. "What do you want?"
“Yeah, yeah, Doc,” Blackie pleaded. “Fuck my face, Babe.”
"Not like this." Noah laughed as he released Blackie's wrists and pulled back moving them down on the bed and then pushing his throbbing organ past Blackie's willing lips.
Remembering how Noah’s back had gone out the last time, he laughed with the man as he repositioned him, then moved his hands to the doctor’s hips, encouraging him to move hard and fast against his face.
Thrusting gently and then gaining speed as the man beneath him encouraged he moaned as his pleasure built.
‘That’s it, Doc, come on, let go’ he encouraged mentally, as he slid his hands over the cheeks of the man’s ass and began to twirl his tongue around his cock.
"Ahhhhhh," Noah cried out as he spread his legs, plunging in deeper to Blackie's throat. "Fffffingers in me." he panted.
Doing as requested, Blackie pushed two fingers inside his lover as he continued to accept his thrusts.
The added stimulus proving to be more than he could handle Noah cried out as orgasm washed over his body, his hips thrusting as he pumped his seed into his lover's mouth.
Gulping to swallow Blackie wrapped his arms tight around the man’s hips, squeezing him tight before loosening his grip so Noah could slide down his body.
Sliding down and kissing him softly Noah whispered. "Love you, I'm sorry I freaked out and could you do me a favor."
Returning the kiss as he caressed the man’s back Blackie responded, “I love you too. I’ll do anything. What is it?”
"Call Bucky and ask him to meet me at the clinic right now?"
Moving Noah to his back, and hovering over him Blackie said in a panic stricken voice, “Oh my God, NOAH, what’s wrong!”
The man shook his head. "Kid no, I'm ok. But I felt something pull and I think I need to be checked out." He tried to sound convincing as slowly pressure began to build in his chest.
Reaching over him and grabbing the phone he dialed the hotel suite as he leaned down and kissed at Noah’s forehead, tears falling down his cheek, “Clinic or hospital? Maybe I should call an ambulance?”
"Clinic and no, I'm not dying." Noah turned to his lover. "Blackie, I need you to be strong and not freak out. If I believed it to be life threatening I would tell you."
He nodded, and swallowed hard as a voice came across the line, “Dana! Is Bucky there?”
"Yeah. Hang on." The man set the phone down. "Lover, it's Blackie."
As Bucky’s cheerful greeting came across the line, Blackie interrupted him, “Buck, Noah wants you to meet him at the clinic now. He’s in pain and said something pulled in his chest.”
"Ok." Bucky replied. "But first, how much pain?"
“How much pain, Doc?” Blackie asked as he also read it on his lover’s face.
Noah reached out and took the phone. "Bucky? It's not that bad but I need you to look it over and I have to talk to you about some other things."
“Okay, buddy, I’ll meet you there,” The cardiac surgeon answered as he dropped the phone in the cradle and grabbed his coat quickly explaining as he left the hotel suite.
Noah rolled into Blackie and kissed his forehead. "Get me a pill and help me to the car? I need you to drive me."
Rushing to the foot of the bed, Blackie grabbed Noah’s jeans and pulled the pill bottle out of his pants, and offered him one. “Of course I’ll drive you. Would it be easier for you to get sweats on then your jeans?”
He nodded, "And one of your flannel shirts."
“Okay,” he answered as he rushed to the closet and came back with the requested items. Tossing him the shirt, he then lifted his legs one at a time and helped his legs into the pants.
Standing Noah pulled them up around his waist and then pulled the shirt on. After sitting back down and putting on his shoes he looked into Blackie's tear streaked face. "Babe, I'm going to fine. I promise you that."
Forcing a half smile through his fear and own pain he nodded, “You have to be.” He then slipped his arm under Noah’s and helped him up and out to the car.
PCU
Leaning back against the headboard, Devin held Charlie tight in his arms, rocking slightly as he stroked the other man’s hair. His mind racing with everything they had been through since September. “You feeling any better?” He whispered.
"Yeah, but do you hate me for drinking?"
“I don’t hate you,” he answered softly tightening his embrace.
"I fucked up though, didn't I?"
“You worked so hard to get off that stuff. It was such a fight,” He let his thoughts flow out loud.
"And I don't want to give up. I didn't mean to but I didn't know what else to do."
“This was just a little stumble?” He asked more then confirmed.
"I don't know. I hope so because I know you'll hate me if I drink all the time and...." he let his tears fall. "I don't want you to hate me."
Letting his hands slide down to the teen’s back he continued to hold him tight, “No, no, and I’m here to help you back up, Baby. I just get scared, you know, you almost died. I don’t want that to happen again.”
"Me either." He lay back down against Dev's chest. "Do you know where I was going when I left?"
He shrugged his shoulders, “The liquor store I guess.”
He shook his head. "I was going to my mom's. But I looked up and saw you and I realized that right here with you is where I am supposed to be."
Shuddering at the mention of that woman, Devin laid his head a top of Charlie’s, “You know she wouldn’t help you, Baby. She may give you something to drink, but she won’t help you.”
"I thought that was the help I needed." he admitted.
Not knowing what to say and his own emotions jumbling inside him, Devin merely held Charlie tight.
"But then." he kissed the boy's chest. "I looked up at you and you looked so sad, even from down there I could see you, and I knew that I couldn't go there I had to stay and deal with it. I love you Devin and I am so sorry I hurt you by drinking."
“I love you too, Charlie. I just wish you had tried talking to me. You know, if you lose your scholarship or your housing; who cares. I was thinking about us getting an apartment next year anyway.”
"You were? I like it here." he pushed himself up and sat leaning against the rail at the foot of the bed facing Devin. "It doesn't have anything to do with that really. It's just that school stuff always came so easy for me and for the first time ever I know what a b looks like, but not just a b but an f."
Devin reached out and caressed Charlie’s calf, “The first half of this term was nuts for you, for us, between the hearing, then your mother, and you going through detox. I know you will do better next term. It’s already gotten easier for you the last couple weeks.”
"But don't you see, I still should have been good to go. I was drunk through high school and never got lower than an A."
“I know, Charlie, but you can’t think that means you should go back to drinking. Do you?”
"No, I don't think so." he answered. He got up and crossed to the small bag they had carried in with them and he dug through it till he found the calendar. Opening it he frowned at the date of the 1st with the number 72 circled. Grabbing a pen from the desk drawer he sighed as he circled a zero on the 2nd and then hung it up over the desk. "I start over."
Crawling across the bed, Devin put his hands on Charlie’s shoulders, and leaned over and kissed his neck, “I’m here baby to help you.”
"What if I can't ever do it?"
Looking down into Charlie’s bag he saw the AA literature laying on top, “We take one day at a time, right?”
He nodded. "I should probably go to a meeting tonight, there's one at some church. You want to come with me? It's not exclusively gay."
“Sure, I’ll come. What time is it?” he asked.
"7. So you got time to go get your check if you want." he reached out and took Devin's hand. "You want to get an apartment?"
“You want to come with and we can grab a burger or something between?” He asked, then added, “I don’t know. I was thinking maybe.”
"Ok, then we'll go to the meeting." he answered. "I really like it here Dev, I know we have to move eventually and I guess an apartment would be best but I like living here with our friends so close."
Taking Charlie’s hand, he smiled as he leaned in and kissed the other teen before they picked up their coats and started for the door. “I wasn’t set on moving. We can stay. I’m just saying we always have options, Babe. We’ll be okay.”
"Ok." He smiled warmly. "You know what? It's only 3 o'clock and I'm still kinda cold."
Dropping his jacket back down to the floor, “We could warm up like we did after your dad took us on that sleigh ride.”
"Hot chocolate?" He grinned.
“Well there’s that too,” He said with a playful smile pulling from the teen’s arms and turning to the refrigerator.
"But I'm not thirsty." Charlie faked a pout and moved in circling Devin's waist from behind.
“Hmmm, then I guess we should do that other thing,” he answered turning in his lover’s arms.
"Yeah we should." he agreed. "Get in bed and don't start without me. I'll be right back."
“Ok,” he answered with a smile as he pulled his t-shirt from his body and started for the bed.
Clinic
Blackie slipped his arm under Noah’s and helped him up from the car. “Buck’s rental is already here, Doc. Let’s get you inside.”
"I can do it, Babe." Noah said pulling away and slowly walking toward the door. He then stopped and turned to the younger man. "Thank you Blackie, but I need to walk in there myself."
He nodded and stepped up so he was walking by his side. As they entered the building, Bucky met them at the door, “What’s going on?” he asked.
Looking around at the patients waiting in the waiting room, patients that he had come to know fairly well since he had taken control of the clinic he shook his head and leaned on Blackie slightly. "My office ok?"
The other two men nodded, and Bucky followed as Noah walked with Blackie’s hand on his mid back into the doctor’s office.
In the office Noah sat on the edge of his desk and then reached into his pocket pulling out his nitro pills. Opening the vile he put 1 under his tongue and dumped the rest in his hand showing Bucky there were only 6 left. "I got this filled 2 weeks ago," he mumbled.
“You taking your Cardene,” Bucky asked as he moved closer, then reached grabbing the stethoscope from the corner of the desk, “Lift your shirt.”
"Yeah I am," he said as he pulled the flannel shirt over his head without unbuttoning it.
"Started doubling up last week and I thought it was helping but it's not really."
Listening carefully he said, “Tell me your symptoms.”
"Shortness of breath at times, an almost constant tightness with some squeezing at times and today while we were.... well actually just after I felt what felt like a pulling or ripping."
“You feel the tightness just when you’re exerting yourself or do you get it watching TV or relaxing too?”
"Both and sometimes it wakes me up at night. It all started about..." he looked up at his lover's worried eyes. "Never mind"
Following Noah’s eyes to Blackie, Bucky asked him, “What’s he not telling me?”
"We got into a horrible fight and since then he's been popping nitro like candy."
“I want an EKG, you got the equipment here, or do we need to go to the hospital?”
"I have it here but it hasn't been used yet." Noah answered. "It's not that bad, I just need different meds is all."
“Not if you are having pain while at rest it’s not,” Bucky insisted, “Damn it, Noah as far as I can tell you’re having a heart attack right now while you’re sitting here.” He turned to Blackie, “Go get a wheel chair, I don’t even want him walking.”
The younger man shook his head. "I'll carry him." and backed up to the desk "Climb on Doc."
Noah grabbed the man’s shoulders, “Thank you, babe,” he said as he leaned in and kissed Blackie’s neck softly, and then continued. “It’s not that bad, Bucky. I can walk across the hall.”
“You either climb on his back right now, or I’m getting an ambulance over here. This is serious, Noah,” he said solemnly.
"Fine." he grumbled and wrapped his arms and legs around Blackie's back.
In the other room, Bucky directed, “lay him down on the table,” as he pushed the cart closer to the table, and started prepping the patches to put on him.
After laying his lover down Blackie kissed him softly then asked Bucky "That gonna hurt him?"
He shook his head; “It’s just going to monitor his heart rhythms and blood flow for about 20 minutes.” He turned to Noah, “Your chart from last year here, or still at the hospital?”
"Everything is here. In my desk, bottom drawer, it's locked." he smiled at his lover. "You have a key, Babe."
Blackie nodded as Bucky asked, “Go get that for me. I want to compare the readings. Have you had a check up between now and then?” he asked Noah.
"Just down in Atlanta."
After Blackie had left the room, Bucky turned back to Noah as he began placing the monitor patches on the man’s chest, “OK, he’s gone, Noah, spill all of it. Tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”
A few weeks ago we had a huge fight and he left me. Told me we were over. Most of that day I had been hitting the nitro but when he left no matter how many I took it didn't help. I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack."
“And what did you do about it?” Bucky asked. “Did you see Rick?”
He shook his head. "We got busy with Christmas and it seemed to be better."
Turning back and starting the machine, he turned back to Noah as it began to monitor his heart. Picking up the man’s wrist he took his pulse, “It didn’t get better, he says you’ve been popping Nitro like candy. You’re not going to be happy till we bury you are you?”
"It's not, but did you see his face. He's terrified, so I was trying to not let it show."
He shook his head, “This isn’t fun and games for god’s sake, Noah. You’re a doctor. Why are you playing with your own health?”
As the door opened and Blackie walked in with the folder Noah shook his head.
Quickly looking over his shoulder, and then taking the file from Blackie, Bucky said firmly to the younger man, “Go do something.”
"No." he replied and glared at his lover. "Listen to me, Noah, I'm staying here and you are going to talk to him honestly. I am not a kid and you are not going to shield me anymore. I have been standing outside that door for 5 minutes listening to you say you couldn't do anything because you were afraid of what it would do to me. What the fuck do you think it's going to do to me when you die huh?"
“Listen to him,” Bucky supported as he wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Noah’s arm, and began to take it.
Tears springing to his eyes Noah shrugged. "I don't want you to have to deal with my weak heart."
Pushing a stool up to the opposite side of the table then Bucky was working on Blackie took Noah’s hand in his and squeezed it tight. “I need you, Doc. Tell Bucky everything, please!”
"Already did."
Bucky interrupted, “You been having headaches?”
"N...." Noah started but was cut off by Blackie. "Blinding ones sometimes."
Bucky nodded, “Weakness, like dizzy spells?”
"No." Noah answered. "And that's the truth, the only time I am weak and dizzy is when we're in bed."
Turning to Blackie he asked, “When he gets to the point he’s taking the nitro, you notice if he goes pale, or maybe even gets a gray tone to his flesh?”
"Yeah just pale though."
“Sweaty? Or his skin clammy?”
"Both."
“You’re blood pressure is on the high side, Noah.” He said. “I’ve taken it three times. You under a lot of stress?”
"No more than usual."
Bucky turned from Noah to Blackie and raised his eyebrows in question.
"He's right, no more than usual."
Looking at the readings coming off the machine, he shook his head, “Your heart rate is a little high, with the blood pressure I’d say you’re at the point where you could have an artery spasm, but it doesn’t appear to have yet.”
Blackie looked to Bucky. "Did he really have a heart attack?"
“I can’t really tell that for sure from this test, but it is looking like it. His heart is acting like one weakened from a heart attack.” He turned to Noah, “Let me admit you to the hospital for a few days.”
"No, I have patients."
“AUUUUUGGGGHHHH!” Bucky nearly screamed, “You are the worst fucking patient I’ve ever had.”
"You're going Noah." Blackie said firmly but then softened. "Does he have to go now? He was planning on seeing a few patients here tonight. Can he do that if he promises to go into the hospital tomorrow morning first thing?"
“I’m going home tonight, or I’m suppose to. Let me call LA and see if I can get a few days off. You have any sedatives here?”
"Yeah, in the medicine room. Not very many though."
“If it will get your blood pressure and heart rate down, you can wait till morning. If I can stay in town a few days we may even be able to do the tests as an outpatient, and go from there. If you promise to listen to your doctor and follow instructions, bonehead.”
"Ok and yes I will listen. I just didn’t want to worry anyone."
“Medicine room locked?” He asked.
"It better be."
“You want to tell me where a key is so I can get you a pill?” He asked with a smile.
"Blackie's pocket." Noah smirked.
Turning to the younger man he said, “Walk with me,” to Blackie. In the hall he continued, “Take a deep breath, okay, he’s going to be okay, but from what I’m seeing he is under stress. The symptoms he’s showing now are of an anxiety attack, not a heart attack.”
Blackie nodded. "We just had incredible sex, right before I called you. But before that he got scared because I asked for something and he thought I was asking for something else."
He nodded, as he stepped back and let Blackie open the medicine room door. “I want to run a test that will tell me for sure if he had a heart attack. I’m guessing he did, he’s feeling the after effects, and that has been scaring him causing these anxiety attacks, and probably making him a little oversensitive to everything?” he questioned.
"I don't know, I didn't even know he had one. I just know that today when I told him I would like some of the things we used to enjoy back he freaked out. But then he seemed to calm down and it happened."
“First things first, let me run the test. I don’t believe he’s in any immediate danger, but I want him to start immediately living as though he’s recovering from a heart attack, not carrying on like he never had one.”
"So no sex?"
Smirking, he shook his head, “Not tonight anyway. From what I can gather he was already symptomatic when he decided to exert himself. He’s just going to have to slow down, just a bit, not over do, and I’d like to see him drop surgeries for a few weeks. He can see patients here, but he shouldn’t be operating unless he’s 100%.”
"He doesn't have the space to operate here but Steve Hardy has him doing one surgical shift a week at the hospital."
“Well, believe me, the hospital doesn’t want him operating anymore then I do if he’s had a heart attack a few weeks ago.” He explained as he walked back down the hall. Handing Noah the cup he said, “Take that. I’m going to go change my plans, then call over to General and see about getting a Thallium and Cardiolite stress test scheduled for tomorrow.”
Swallowing the pills he nodded. "But I can go home and make love to my baby tonight right?"
“You can go home,” he said shaking his head. “Only you, Dr. Sexy would still want to have sex while popping nitroglycerin.”
He grinned and reached for Blackie's hand. "Is that a yes?"
“That’s a no,” he insisted as he turned to leave the room, “Lay there with you pants on for ten minutes and if your heart rate is normal you can see your patients, Doctor.”
"Awe, come on. What if I don't exert myself and make him do all the work?"
Dropping back down to the stool, Blackie forced a slight laugh as he took Noah’s hand in his and kissed his fingers, “I’m so sorry, Babe.”
"It's not your fault."
He nodded, “Because I got all stupid and left that night.”
He shook his head. "No it's not. I could feel it happening and because I didn't want you to stay out of pity I said nothing."
“I’m not with you out of pity. I love you. I need you, Doc, promise me you’ll do everything Bucky tells you to.”
"I know, I meant that night. I will, Babe, I promise."
“Okay, good, and you’re going to let me take care of you and you’re not going to whine about it.” He forced another smile, “Cause we got that trip to New York for the Grammy’s next month, and then a couple weeks after that our son’s going to be here. You want to be all better for that, right.”
"Yes Babe. I promise." He squeezed his hand. "I never wanted you to have to worry"
A few minutes later Bucky came back into the exam room, “We’re doing your test at 10:30 tomorrow morning. I can hang out here three more days.” He reported as he headed toward the monitors. “You feeling as good as these readings are showing?”
He pinched Blackie's ass. "Better."
“Listen to me, Noah.” Bucky chastised. “You can get up and treat your patients, but then I want you to go home and rest. Rest mean’s put your feet up and watch TV, go to sleep early, take a long hot bath. Do you hear me?”
"Hot bath...hot tub with company?"
Tossing Noah’s file down on the foot of the bed, Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “You know what, whatever.” He turned to Blackie, “Call your dad, I’m sure he’ll run the test for him. I got a plane to catch in a few hours.”
"Bucky don't." Blackie grabbed his arm. "You know how he is. What exactly is too much for him tonight, tell us both now and I will make sure he sticks to it."
He shook his head, “He thinks it’s some big joke. He’s 32 and has had two heart attacks in just over a year and he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it. I’m not going to sit here and watch him kill himself.”
Blackie paled. "Actually he's only had one, the other was a heart thing right?"
“The heart thing might as well been a heart attack.” He pulled his arm out of Blackie’s hand, “I’m not staying here for this shit.”
"Bucky." Noah said quietly. "I'll do what you tell me, I promise. But seriously, other than a little tightness I feel fine."
“Normally I tell my patients to trust their bodies. As long as you’re not symptomatic, do what your body can handle, but you, dumbass, don’t listen to what your body tells you!” He nearly shouted. “You won’t listen till your cold, blue and six feet under.”
He hung his head. "I promise I will, if it hurts I'll stop and if I wake up in pain I'll call you."
He moved back and dropped to the foot of the table and exhaled, “What I’m seeing in the ECG is that today you’re not that bad. In fact, like I told Blackie, these symptoms you’re feeling are probably more an anxiety attack then anything else, BUT it does look like you did in fact have a heart attack three weeks ago. There is some damage, Noah. You should consider yourself in recovery or you WILL have another one.”
"I understand, and what I know of cardiac recovery; exercise is a good thing. Does it matter if I get it in bed or from the weights in the garage?"
He nodded, “Yes, it’s fine, but not if it causes you pain. I prefer until I see the test tomorrow to see how extensive the damage is that you take it real easy tonight. Geez, can’t you two just snuggle up together in bed and watch a movie or something?” He tried to smile.
"That's what I mean." he looked up slowly. "I'm afraid that with you saying no sex it will scare him away." he turned to Blackie "Remember when I had the heart thing? You wouldn't even touch me."
Blackie squeezed Noah’s hand, and wrapped an arm around the man’s shoulder kissing his cheek, “I was scared then, hell, I’m scared now, but I won’t do that again, Noah.”
"I need you to hold me and touch me and kiss me. That's all; if he says no sex I am fine with that as long as you hold me."
“I will.” He smiled, “I’m going to make you dinner, and we’re going to eat together in bed, and snuggle and watch Lucy re-runs on TV.”
"That sounds wonderful, and for each time Ricky kisses Lucy or she kisses his cheek you'll kiss me twice?"
“At least twice, maybe three times.”
"Mmmmm...ok, sounds wonderful." he glared at Bucky with a slight smile. "Can I kiss and touch?"
“As long as it doesn’t take a nitro for you to be able to, yes.” The doctor answered.
"No but I will probably need one anyway." he answered honestly.
He nodded, “take home a blood pressure cuff and take it and your pulse every hour or two and if there’s a lot of fluctuation, I want you to call me, okay?”
"Ok." he answered and then looked at his watch. "I need to see some patients now."
He nodded, “Okay, call me if you need anything, and meet me at the hospital at 10 tomorrow morning so we can get you in for the test at 10:30.”
"I will, and thanks Buddy."
Leaning in, He hugged Noah’s neck, “You’re welcome, Noah.”
Noah looked up at his lover. "I'm going to be fine, Babe."
Blackie nodded, “you have to be.”