General Hospital
Pacing the waiting area Blackie looked down at his watch before sighing and dropping down on the couch next to Joe. "Dad, really, you don't have to wait with me. It's just a test. You should be home with my sis."
"I want to be here, Blackie. He's my family same as you are."
He nodded as he inched just a bit closer to Joe, "Thanks, Dad."
Pulling his son in the man hugged him tight. "You wanna talk about it?"
Sliding his arms around the man's neck, his voice quivered. "I'm just scared, really scared."
"Didn't you tell me once your mom warns you when bad things are going to happen so you can avoid or at least prepare?"
Blackie nodded as he pulled back. "Yeah, she usually does."
"And did she this time?"
He shook his head, "But I haven't felt her in weeks." After a moment of silence he looked up, "have you?"
He thought for a moment. "Sometimes in Caroline's room I do. The other night I thought I heard her in there singing softly. Something about a tug boat?"
He smiled and nodded, "Yeah, yeah, that would be her."
"Do you know the song? Think you could teach it to me? It really seems to calm Caroline down but all I could pick up was the 'tug tug tug little tug boat' part."
He nodded, "Yeah, I will, it's just a silly little song. I'll have to brush up on it myself too for Brodie." Wrapping his arms tight around himself he rocked a bit, "I don't want to do this without him, Dad."
Joe looked up as he realized they were no longer alone. "I forget her name, Son, but I think she wants to talk to you." He motioned to the red haired woman standing off to the side with 2 cups of coffee.
Looking up, then gulping and swallowing his tears he said, "Bobbie, hey, you hear something?"
She moved forward and handed him one of the cups and the other to Joe. "Yeah I did and that doctor from LA will be out in a bit to talk to you."
Taking the cup and setting it on the table he said, "Thank you, uhm, hey, is the test over, and did you see Noah?"
She nodded. "It's over but he was talking to your dad and Bucky. I wasn't assigned in there, actually I got off a few hours ago but hung around in case....you...."
He nodded, "Thanks. . . you want to sit?" he asked pointing to the chair.
Sitting next to him she laid her hand on his shoulder. "He's going to be ok, Blackie, he has to be. It's not the end of time yet."
He nodded as he started to rock slightly again as he picked up the coffee cup, "I-I-I keep telling myself that."
Taking the cup from his hand she set it down and pulled him in and slowly rocked him back and forth.
Tensing just a bit for just a split second Blackie then relaxed into her. "I got to get it together before they come get me. He doesn't need to see me like this," he nearly wept.
"Why not? You love him and what you're feeling is true right?"
"Yeah. . I love him. . .so much. . " He forced out. "I'm sorry," he quickly said, trying to pull back, "I-I-I, well, you, you know,"
Letting him go she rubbed his shoulder. "It's ok, you know I can see now that what he and I had wasn't love."
He looked back up to her, "It wasn't?"
"No." she smiled and shook her head. "It was sex, he wasn't capable of loving me. I know that; and me...I thought I loved him but seeing you out here and of course seeing the 2 of you together I know I never looked at him the way you do."
He half smiled at her. "Thanks, uhm, you know, he's the most important thing in my life and our kids need him so he has to be okay."
The more than slightly annoyed dark haired man came around the corner from where he had been listening. "Bobbie? You ready to go? You know I don't like it when you work over and don't call to tell me."
Blackie looked up and took the man in, letting his eyes run up and down his frame then turned to Bobbie to see her reaction to him.
Immediately the woman sat straight up. "I-I'm sorry DL, a...he...nevermind it was my mistake and I apologize."
Standing, Blackie took Bobbie's hand and stepped between the woman and her husband. "She was just sitting with me. . . being a friend," he said.
"Who are you? She got off quite awhile ago her place is at home being a wife."
"I'm - I'm," he stopped and extended his hand. "Blackie Parrish-Kelly, I don't think we've been introduced. I'm a friend of your wife's."
"DL Brock." he answered but ignored the man's hand and instead reached around and grabbed his wife's arm squeezing her wrist. "Let's go."
Turning quickly Blackie looked into the woman's eyes, 'Don't go!' he mouthed.
Her eyes widening with pain she shook her head sadly and silently followed her husband as he led her down the hall to the lounge to get her coat.
Contemplating a moment, he started to follow them but turned when he heard Bucky calling his name. "Buck!" he said as he started back. "How is he?"
"Wanting to talk to you." He said with a smile. "Go on in there, my kid should be up by now and I want to talk to her before she takes off with Jay and Alfie again. I'll be there in just a few minutes."
He nodded and then turned to his father who had been a rock of support the last hour, "Come with, Dad?"
"If he's going to call Sky," he pointed at Bucky, "Then Noah must be ok. So why don't you go on and I'll head home and you can call me later?"
Hugging the man he said, "Okay, thanks, I will." He then turned and nearly ran down to the exam room. Pushing the door open, he put on a smile and went inside the room to find Noah dressed back in the sweats and his flannel he had worn to the hospital talking to Rick. "How you feeling, Babe?" he asked.
"Like a pin cushion." he quipped. "There is good news though."
"What's that?" he asked as he moved in and kissed Noah's cheek.
"Bucky and Rick both say I did have a heart attack..." he paused as Blackie's eyes clouded with fear. "But that the damage was very minimal. I don't need surgery or anything."
He looked to Rick, "What now, Dad? How does he get better this time?"
"Exercise, diet and he has to cut down on stress," the man answered. "That's what I just told him."
Sitting down next to Noah, Blackie pushed his fingers through the older man's hair. "We worked out a lot of your stress last night when we were talking and watching TV didn't we?" he asked.
"Huh uh." he looked up at the other Doctor. "Not to run you out but do you mind?"
"Not at all," The cardiac doctor answered. Handing Noah two slips of script he continued, "Start these tomorrow, they should work better for you and we'll see you back on the OR rotation in two weeks if all goes well."
"Right." he nodded and when the older man left he grasped Blackie's hands tightly. "I know I always said I can't live without you but what I didn't realize was how true that was."
"You don't EVER have to worry about that, Noah. I'm with you for always, cause it's just as true for me." He answered as he lifted their entwined hands to his mouth, kissing the backs of Noah's.
"But you left me," he whispered sadly. "I knew it happened that night and I didn't do anything because I didn't really care if I lived or not."
Feeling a tear slide down his cheek he responded, "I'm so sorry I did this to you. I-I-I was being stupid and selfish."
"No, you didn't do it and you are not stupid and selfish. I wasn't meaning to scold you. I love you Blackie and I need you with me always. Maybe that makes me selfish because I am so dependent on you."
Sliding his hands up Noah's arms, he pulled the man into a tight embrace, "I need you too. I love you, Noah."
"And there is something else, we have always tried to do it but if we can stick to it I think it will help."
"What's that?" Blackie asked.
"We never go to bed angry and we don't argue in our bedroom. That is our place to unwind I don't want it to ever again be a battleground."
He nodded, "That's a great idea. You're right. I'll really try to follow that."
"Me too." he smiled as the door opened and Bucky and Rick walked back in. Pulling the younger man on his lap he grinned. "Bucky said we can do it tonight."
Giggling, he hugged Noah's neck and turned to Bucky, "Really?"
The man laughed. "Well I hadn't, but yes you can. Not the sexual Olympics but yes you can."
"For how long should he take it easy?" Blackie asked, laying his head on Noah's shoulder and snuggling the man.
"At least a week, but I'll look him over again in a couple days before I leave and see where things stand then. Also on the workouts, less weight more reps," He turned to Noah. "You need cardio work not muscle work. Take some aerobics classes or get a Jane Fonda video."
"BLECH!" the doctor protested, "Anyone's workout but hers."
"What about Richard Simmons Babe?" Blackie offered "Didn't you say you took one of his classes when he did some demo for the hospital a couple years ago?"
"How about we go to the video store and find something fun to do and fun to look at," he smiled.
"How about we get Simmons, I think he's funny. I'll do it with you and you can look at me?"
Slowly sliding his hand down Blackie's cheek he smiled, "Good idea, there isn't anyone I'd rather look at anyway."
"And maybe take up jogging, Noah." Rick suggested. "In the spring there is golf or tennis at the club. You're still a member right?"
"Ahh, actually, I'm not . . . but we can fix that." Noah responded.
"Awe man, Doc," Blackie rolled his eyes. "Can't you play golf on the public course and Dad YOU have a tennis court in your backyard not to mention the ones at the park across the street from our house."
Noah looked into Blackie's eyes and grinned, "You don't want to join the club? We could go there for Sunday Brunch in our suits and ties."
"Ok, but only if we start going to the Bucket for dinner on Saturdays."
"Point taken," he laughed and turned to Rick, "Tennis at your house?"
Before the man could answer Blackie cut him off. "Babe, if you want to join the club again it's ok. But you'll need to find a new caddy. I have you, so no way in hell am I going to ever go there again."
Brushing the younger man's hair from his eyes, he leaned in and kissed his cheek quick. "That's right, you do have me." Looking up he continued, "Right now, I'm not playing either golf or tennis. It's too freaking cold out for that shit, maybe add a treadmill to our gym, hu, babe, or I can go to the sports center and use theirs."
"An electric one? How about a rowing machine? Those look kinda cool."
"All good ideas," Rick confirmed. "If we're done here, I have other patients to see. Noah," he said extending his hand, "You call me if you need anything or your symptoms don't go away."
"I will." he looked up at his lover. "What do you say we go home get in bed and get to doing what Bucky said we could?"
Nodding, he answered, "And you're going to stay there the rest of the day while I care for your every need."
Noah smirked. "My only needs can be met in bed."
Sliding off his lap, Blackie took the doctor's hand, "Come on, Let's get you in bed then."
As they left Bucky laughed. "Be dressed by 7. Me, Dana and the kids are coming for dinner."
"Ok, we will," Noah answered as he turned back, "But make sure you bring dinner too. My doctor says I have to take it easy."
"We'll pick something up." he smiled.
"We'll see ya later then," Blackie answered as the two left the room.
Denver
Stretching out on the bed she and Brett had shared in his parent's home for the past 2 weeks Lori sighed. "I love it here, Baby, your mom and dad are awesome."
Sliding his hand up her body slowly, he smiled. "I'm so glad everything's worked out so well, but I just knew they would love you."
She giggled as the kitten curled up on her stomach. "Thank you for letting me bring him."
"You're welcome," he answered as he softly pet the cat. "Thank you for coming here and spending the holiday with my family. It means so much to me, Darling."
"I'm glad, and I'm glad they like me too. I was afraid they wouldn't."
"What's not to like?" he smiled as he looked up in her eyes, "You're beautiful, and sweet, and loving, and kind."
"And 15." she said quietly.
"Doesn't matter," he whispered. "They know you make me happy and that I love you. You're family now . . .you can't escape it," he teased in a horror movie voice.
"Don't want to." she grinned and then frowned as she looked over at their packed bags. "How much time we got till we leave?"
Checking the clock on the nightstand, he sighed, "We need to leave for the airport in two hours."
"So we can lay here and cuddle for an hour and then go eat dinner before we leave?"
"Uh-hu, sounds good to me," He said as he pulled her tight to him, nuzzling her cheek. "I love you, Darling."
"Love you too, Baby." she whispered and then kissed his neck as her eyes drifted closed.
Hotel
The 2 teenage boys walked into the lobby, sitting down on one of the couches Jay picked up the house phone. "417 please." he replied when asked what room and a moment later Sky's voice filled his ear. "Hey. Babes, you coming or what?"
With a giggle she answered, "I'm on my way down. See ya in a few."
"Cool. We'll wait in the lobby for you. If you got any of those little chocolate popcorn balls left will you bring me a couple?"
"Sure, Alfie want some?"
"Lemmie ask him." he covered the phone. "You want chocolate covered balls?" he flirted with a low tone.
"MMMMM," he flirted back, "If that's my only choice."
Jay laughed into the phone. "Yeah, Babes, he wants some. Oh yeah and tell Dana and Bucky you're staying at my house tonight; Monster Movie marathon on cable. The Webbers said it was cool and Alfie's gonna sleep over too."
"That's cool, but Bucky asked us if we'd all go with him and Dana to Noah and Blackie's for dinner tonight. That cool?"
"Yeah that's cool, just get down here before the rink is filled with little kids ok?"
"Okay," she nervously laughed, "You two won't let me fall on my butt on that ice, right?"
"Maybe." he laughed. "Get your coat and come on. Bye." he hung up before she could say anything else and turned to his boyfriend. "We're going to dinner at Noah and Blackie's."
"Cool," Alfie answered.
A couple minutes later the elevator chimed and Sky walked into the lobby tossing popcorn balls at the 2 boys. "Here, brats."
Laughing, the boys crossed the lobby. Alfie threw his arm around Sky's shoulder. "Time to put this beach bum on ice and see what happens."
Jay laughed. "Hey, Babes, when we get there wanna play this game I learned last year?"
"What's that?" she cautiously asked, as she wrapped one arm around each boy's waist.
"Crack The Whip." he grinned at Alfie.
"Ohhhh, yeah," The other boy answered, "She'd love that."
"Sounds fun, let's go. Dad says it's fine to spend the night but I can't be late for dinner."
"That's cool," they other two answered as they left the hotel and started for the park.
Noah/Blackie's
Carrying a large picnic basket, Blackie spoke into the cordless phone cradled on his shoulder as he went into the bedroom, turned and locked the door before smiling at Noah who was leaning back against the headboard reading. "Yes, Gran, I swear he's just fine. . . Ahhh, uh-uh, no, he's sleeping. . . Yes, as soon as he wakes up I'll have him call you. . .love you too, bye." He said as he pushed the button turning it off, opened the door, tossed the phone down the hall, closed the door and locked it again. "There! One hide from the world afternoon."
Noah set down his book and smirked. "Yeah? What about this?" he picked up the phone of the nightstand.
Crossing the room, he sat on the side of the bed next to Noah, grabbed the cord, and tugged hard ripping it from the wall. "How's that?"
The doctor laughed as he took the cord from his lover and noticed it was broken on the end. "Smooth move exlax, now we need a new cord." tossing it aside he smiled. "But thank you, hiding from the world is a wonderful idea."
"You're welcome," he answered as he lightly kissed the man's lips. "But I'm doing it for me too. I like spending time all alone with you."
"Well we're all alone, the door is locked, and we have permission." he wrapped his arms around Blackie's back and began to pull his shirt up. "Can we do it now?"
Helping Noah lift the shirt from his body, he then moved to straddle the doctor's lap.
"You're not too tired? I know that was a hard test this morning," he asked as he pushed his lips to Noah's.
"Hell no." he replied.
"Good," He mumbled against the man's mouth as he kissed Noah deeper and ground his hips down against the other man's.
"Sssssst" Noah hissed. "We need our clothes off NOW."
Lifting up to his knees, Blackie began to work the fly of his jeans open as he swayed his hips to tease the doctor.
Noah bit his lip. "Mmmmm, wanna do that to music?" he asked as he slithered out of the loose fitting sweat pants he was wearing.
"I would but I don't want to cross the room to turn it on," he laughed as he pulled his jeans off and settled back down on Noah's lap.
Leaning in the older man latched his teeth to Blackie's neck and bit down hard. "Hold me tight and don't let go."
Gasping as the sweet ache shot through his body, he wrapped his arms around Noah's neck and pulled him in, rubbing his body against the surgeon's and moaning in pleasure.
"You feel so good. I need you inside me but I don't want to stop touching you."
"Then don't stop," Blackie groaned back as he squeezed the man tighter in his arms and slid his body against Noah's. First arching his head back, and twisting his head to push the hair from his face, he then came back up and kissed Noah full on the lips.
Opening his mouth allowing Blackie's tongue to snake inside, Noah moaned passionately.
Slowly pushing his fingers through the doctor's hair. Blackie groaned, "How you want it?"
"On your lap, looking into your eyes and kissing your lips." Noah panted.
"Oh, yeah," he whispered. "Been so long, since we did it like that." He then pushed himself slowly down Noah's legs, letting his weight drop between them.
Crawling up on his lover's lap Noah used his weight to push Blackie to his back then crawled up straddling his face.
Sliding his hands up the outside of Noah's thighs, Blackie groaned as he guided Noah down, letting his tongue slide around the man's balls before snaking up the crack of his ass.
"Oh yeah." Noah moaned. "Just like that, Babe." he threw his head back as he gave into the wet caress.
Joe/Cyn's
Pulling her sweater over her head as she made her way into the bedroom Cynthia said, "Now, Joe, Right now, she's sleeping and who knows for how long."
Jumping up he pulled off his underwear and grabbed his wife's arm pulling her onto the bed. "Really? You mean we can?"
Rolling to her back and guiding him down a top on her, she sighed, "for as long as your daughter lets us."
"Then we better make it count huh?" he grinned and kissed his way down her body, burying his face between her legs and going straight to her core.
Reaching above her head and firmly gripping the pillow in her hands she lifted her hips to meet his face. "Oh, baby, that feels so good," she groaned.
Sliding his hands under her ass he pulled her closer and lifted his head. "It's supposed to, just lay back and enjoy it honey."
Thrashing her head and slowly working her hands down over her own body, she found her way to Joe's head, sliding her fingers through his silky hair, she let them tangle in his tresses, "Love you, Baby."
Pulling back he stroked her with his fingers. "Love you too, Cindy." he whispered against her again flat stomach.
Her breath catching in her chest, she groaned as her body lifted from the bed and she thrust her hips against his fingers, "soooo close, baby."
Entering her with 3 fingers and thrusting slowly he went back with his mouth, twirling his tongue around her button.
Being enough to push her over, she clenched her fingers in his hair and cried out as her body began to shake with orgasm.
Riding out her climax he stayed with her, pleasuring her with his fingers and tongue before sliding up her body and smiling down into her eyes.
"Good lord," she panted, "I've missed you, Kelly."
His hand still between her legs he rubbed her gently. "Feels good?"
"Better then good," She moaned as she lifted her head and kissed his mouth.
He motioned to the baby monitor. "Still silent, want me to do it again?"
Sliding her mouth down to his neck she asked, "How about I do it for you, sweet heart?"
"No...." he paused, knowing the couldn't possibly have time for what he needed. "I just want to take care of you, honey."
"You did, wonderfully," she smiled, and looked into his troubled eyes, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing Baby." he lied. "Can't I just want to lick your sweet pussy some more?"
"Joe, honey," she said. "Please tell me what's wrong?"
He rolled to the bed and pulled her close. "I just can't right now, not without..." he let his eyes fall to the drawer in the bedside table. "All of them, very slowly. We can't possibly have that kind of time."
"Oh," she exhaled somewhat relieved it was his own frustration and not her. Leaning down, she kissed his cheek, "Probably not now, but when she goes down after her 11:00 feeding maybe."
"And my screaming would wake her up." He sighed. "I'm not getting off till she starts pre-school."
Laying her head on his chest, she said, "I'm sorry, Joe. She'll start sleeping through the night soon. I promise."
"It's ok," he whispered. "I like taking care of you."
"I know you do, and you're very good at it," she whispered as she let her hand slide down his chest. "But I like taking care of you too. You sure you don't want me to try?"
"You can try." he smiled. "It will feel good but don't be upset when I can't finish?"
Letting her tongue drag over his nipple and clenching it between her teeth, she purred, "just relax, Kelly, give me a chance."
His body arching from the pain Joe moaned but knew in his head it wasn't going to be enough.
"You're so tense, honey," she whispered as she slowly worked her way down his body. "Close you're eyes and relax," she continued before slowly dragging her tongue over his organ.
Tears sprang to his eyes as he tried to will his body to relax.
Sensing she was only making his frustration worse, she slowly slithered her way up his body, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek, and then laying her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, honey."
"I know, me too."
Letting her fingers tangle in his chest hair, she replied, "Don't be, Joe. It's okay."
"It's not that I don't want to, Baby." he cried. "You're amazing and you make me feel great but I just can't."
"I know. You're just wound too tight right now. Things are going to get easier, it won't always be like this, sweet heart. I swear she'll start sleeping longer soon."
"I know." he smiled. "I just hope she starts sleeping overnight before little Joe falls off from lack of use."
Laughing, "She will, I promise." After placing a soft kiss on his chest, she asked, "How does a hot shower sound? I'll come in and wash your back."
"Wonderful." he smiled hazily "But I feel so bad for sorta resenting Caroline right now/ I'm going to go in her room and watch her sleep and hopefully remember how happy she makes me."
"Okay, you go ahead. I'll start the shower in a few minutes." She encouraged as she rolled off him.
Nodding he silently left the room and crossed the hall to his daughter's room. Walking to the crib he noticed she was awake and picked her up. Settling down in the big rocking chair he whispered. "I'm sorry, Baby girl, Daddy loves you so much."
As the baby smiled and cooed in his arm, a soft warm breeze washed over the two of them.
In the bedroom, Cynthia picked up the phone and dialed the hotel. Hearing her father in laws voice coming across the line, she tried to sound cheerful, "Paddy? It's Cyn. How would you like to keep your grand daughter overnight?"
"Um here in the hotel?" he asked. "There's no crib or anything here."
"No," she smiled, "Actually I was thinking it would be easier if you and Rose stayed here, and I took your son to the hotel. Mommy and Daddy need a break," she declared.
"Sounds wonderful, hang on." he said into the phone and turned to his wife. "Turn off that TV, get dressed, and find my pants."
"Find your own pants, old man," Rose chastised back as she pulled herself from the bed. "Where we going?"
"Joey's." he answered. "We're gonna baby-sit and why should I find them when you're the one that took them off me and threw them who knows where."
Picking them up off the floor, she tossed them in his direction. "Well then, get off the phone and get dressed."
Suddenly remembering he had put his daughter-in-law on hold he blushed and spoke into the phone. "We'll be right there." and then hung up.
Laughing to herself as she hung up the phone, she slipped on her robe and walked across the hall, "Why is this room always at least five degrees warmer then the rest of the apartment?" She asked as she fanned herself. "You have to wait for your shower. Go get dressed, Daddy." She said as she took the baby from his arms.
Joe smiled. "Because I'm pretty sure our little angel has a guardian angel that likes to hang out in here and play hide and seek with us." he smiled. "Get dressed? Where are we going? It's too cold to take her out."
"She's not going out, we are." Cyn answered. "Your Dad and Rose are coming to sit with Caroline, and we're going to the hotel."
Reaching up he took the baby back in his arms. "I don't know."
"You don't know what?" Cyn asked shocked. "You don't trust your father with the baby?"
"I don't know," he replied while silently calling out "Lorain honey, I know you're here."
"Kelly!" Cyn almost pleaded. "It's okay for us to take a break."
"I know, honey, but it's not just up to us." he answered.
"Since when?!" she snapped. "We're the parents here, remember."
Feeling frustrated he covered the baby's ears and called out "Damn it, Lorain, show yourself or leave and never come back."
The translucent being began to take form at the end of the crib, "What's wrong, Joey?" she impatiently asked.
"Ahhhhhhh." Cynthia screamed. "What the hell is that?"
"Blackie's mother," he answered plainly.
"She's dead."
"Yeah, I am," Lorain laughed. "Though Joe and my son seem to forget that. What's the problem, Joe." She said turning to the man.
Seeing his wife's shock and panic he laid Caroline down on the blanket on the floor next to the chair and stood. "Keep an eye on her." and led Cynthia to the hall where he wrapped her tightly in his embrace. "It's ok, Baby."
"How can this be okay?!" she began to rant. "You just left our baby alone in there with some ghost or something," She said struggling to get out of his arms.
He tightened his grip, not letting her go. "Her guardian angel." he whispered. "Oh there is so much you don't know and I don't even know how to tell you."
Collapsing against his body Cynthia cried, "All I wanted was to get you out of here so you could relax a little bit."
"And I will, Baby." he said leading her into the living room and sitting down pulling her onto his lap. "But only if Lorain says it's ok to leave Caroline with Dad."
"When did the ghost get a vote?" She struggled with her emotions.
"When you gave birth to her baby, honey," he whispered in a soothing voice.
"When I what-hu?" She asked her fear turning toward anger.
"Shhhh." he soothed. "Look I didn't know either but Blackie told me she had a miscarriage when he was 13 and after she was born she came to both of us. Told me to cherish her because some lives are short and some long. I was really scared thinking that meant we wouldn't have her for long."
Cowering back from him in tears, she began to cry, "No! Don't even say that!"
"That's not what she meant, Baby." he cried along with her. "She then went to Blackie and told him that Caroline had been waiting a long time to be his sister. Don't you see Cindy all of it everything from us finding each other to our little girl in there has been helped along the way."
"SHE'S MY BABY!" Cynthia seethed at him, then picked her self up off the couch and ran toward the nursery.
Chasing her down the hallway he grabbed her from behind. "She is your baby, Cindy, she's mine too; ours. But her spirit is the same baby Lorain lost. She's been hanging out in there for 2 months soothing her when she cries. I know you could feel it. How many times have you gone in there to find her staring at seemingly nothing?"
Pulling out of the man's arms, she yelled back, "Get away from me, Kelly. You know, I can accept you loved her first and how she'll always posses a piece of your heart. I can understand that, but not this. I won't buy into your delusions so you can some how ease your guilt over not being there for Blackie. If the only way you can accept that child is for her to be Lorain's," She began to cry, "Just get the hell out, Joe. Get the fuck away from me!"
Releasing her he slid down the wall and buried his head in his knees. "I love that little girl and she is yours but damnit can't you accept that things aren't black and white and that we are not alone in this?" he looked up at her. "We wouldn't even be married right now if she hadn't told me to go to you because you were my second chance. Now I wonder second chance at what?"
Wanting to go to him, but needing her child first. She went to the nursery, coming back a moment later with the baby in her arms, she went to Joe and slid down the wall, sitting next to him, "I don't really want you to leave, honey. You're my second chance as much as I am yours, and she is ours."
He sighed. "Yeah she is."
Resting the baby against her upturned knees, she softly grazed her hand against her round cheek as the tears slid down her own. "What did I do that was so wrong, Kelly?"
Silently he shrugged.
"This is our life, honey, yours and mine, our family, our child, but that won't be enough for you. Will it?"
He wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Of course it is, but is it my fault that that's not all there is. If you think I'm nuts ask Blackie and he'll tell you the same things I did."
"So that's why he's so close to her," she whispered. 'Cause I'm not really a part of any of it,' she thought to herself.
"You're her mother, Cindy." he said shocked. "You know as well as I do how crazy about her he was from the second he found out you were pregnant." Extending his arm he smiled "Come here, Baby."
Letting herself melt into the man's body, she curled her face into his chest, "Was calling your father the wrong thing to do? I mean, I know you two don't always see eye to eye and have had some rough times over Blackie, but I thought you were through that. I would have called Blackie, but with Noah having just had those tests. .." her voice trailed.
He stroked her back. "I know, Baby, and it's ok with me, but knowing what I know and believing it for reasons that probably don't make a bit of sense to you I just feel like we can't make that decision alone. I tried to ask her without you knowing, but she's stubborn and wouldn't answer me."
Feeling a soft warm touch to his knee then a kiss to his cheek, "Joey," a hushed voice whispered, "Those decisions aren't for me. They are for you and your wife. Any discord I had for your father, died with me. Give him the second chance at family the rest of you are getting. . . if that is what YOU want."
New tears falling down his cheeks he nodded.
Turning a bit more, Cynthia laid the baby in her husband's arms, "I love you, Kelly, and our family, our whole family, including your son."
"I love you too, Honey." he whispered. "You're right and wrong about something you said; part of me will always love Lorain, but I'm in love with you."
Slipping back a bit, she reclined against the wall, pushing her fingers through her auburn hair. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I met Blackie and Noah?"
He shook his head and smiled at his daughter smiling into space.
"It was shortly after Martin had introduced them to Drew. They were going out to brunch, and I was invited along by Martin and Drew, more or less an afterthought." She paused, "Well, no not exactly. Drew and Martin rarely went in public without my presence then." She smiled, "I liked Blackie right off the bat you know, both of them really, but you know," she paused struggling to maintain composure, "but I was just out on the fringes, no real place in the forming family."
"You think?" he asked. "That's not exactly the way Blackie tells the same story. According to him he felt an immediate comfort and trust with you."
She smiled as she ran her fingers through Joe's hair, "Really? He's so sweet. I loved his sensitivity and kinda whacked sense of humor right from the start too."
"Really." he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "And you know how hard it is for him to trust. And when I came into his life, one of the first things he suggested was setting you and I up and I shut him down. I just wasn't interested in a relationship. But then I met you and everything just snowballed so fast. I loved you before I even met you I think."
"I love you too, Joe. Did the minute I looked into those beautiful green eyes." She sighed, "I was just trying to give us a break so we could both do some screaming of our own," she added with a sly grin.
"I know, but can you maybe understand why I had to do what I did?"
"Because of what your dad to you, Blackie, and his mother?" She asked softly.
"Yes, and I truly believe what she told Blackie. That doesn't make Caroline any less yours, Baby, in this life she is your daughter. But in another, that she never got the chance to live she wasn't. I never really believed in that sort of thing till I got here and the way things have happened. I guess a person's spirit is forever I don't know."
Sliding her arm under and around Joe's shoulder and leaning her head against it, she smiled down at the baby. "And a very special spirit she has too."
"Yeah she does," he agreed as he handed the baby to his wife and stood then reached down for her hand to pull her up.
Sliding up his body, she leaned in and kissed the man's cheek, "So what did we decide? Are we going or not?"
He tickled Caroline's chin. "What do you say Baby girl? Can Mommy and Daddy go away for the night?"
The child smiled and cooed, reaching out for Joe's hand while kicking her feet. "I think she'll just be find with her papa and her angel," Cynthia smiled, leaning in to kiss the baby's forehead.
New tears sprang to the man's eyes. "You're ok with that Baby? Really?"
"Yeah," she exhaled, "I am."
Soft warm air filled the hall and slowly the shadowy being revealed herself. "So am I, and don't worry. She'll be fine."
Skating Rink
Jay glided along the ice and stopped in front of Sky as she hung onto the wall making her way around the ice. "How you doing, Babes?"
"Horrible!" She answered with a laugh. "People aren't meant to attach blades to their feet and stay out in the cold."
He laughed. "Awe come on now, we got the game all set up. You ready to play?"
"How can I play a game? I can't let go of this wall?" she asked.
He smiled. "You can play, all you have to do is hold my hand. Don't worry I won't LET you fall."
"Promise?" She asked as she reached out with a shaky hand, and weak knees.
"Promise." he grinned somewhat evilly. "Let's go." and took off, dragging her along with him.
"JAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!" She screamed as he pulled her across the ice, "SLOW DOWN!!"
"Don't try and skate, Sky, just let me pull you."
Relaxing a bit, she let the boy pull her along.
Sliding up to his boyfriend and the group of kids from their school he smiled.
"Everybody, this is Sky. Sky this is everybody."
She nodded and smiled as the other kids greeted her.
"Ok, Babes, just hang on to my hand ok?" he asked as everyone began to line up hand to hand. "Jill you playing captain?" he asked of a blond girl.
"Uh-hu," the girl answered as she took the hand of the teen next to her, "Ready or not, let's go, she said as she pushed off and started to skate.
As Sky hung onto his arm the boy began to feel guilty at knowing what was coming but pushed it aside. 'Hey it happened to me, it's just fun.' he told himself as they began to speed up with the Jill now almost spinning in the center of the ice.
Watching what was happening, a sudden fear washed over Sky, grabbing Jay's arm tight, she laughed at the teen, "We're going to have to take these skates off sometime, Jay, and when we do, you are soooooo dead."
He grinned. "You'll be fine, just chill out." he said as Jill began to count. "1.....2..........3" suddenly the line of teenagers snaked backwards and Jay pulled his hand from Sky's sending her careening into the wall.
Hitting the wall, then sliding to the ice, Sky covered her head, and lay motionless on the ice.
"Oh fuck." he screamed and ran across the ice. "Sky, Sky are you dead? Answer me."
As soon as the teen was close enough, Sky reached out and grabbed his leg, pulling it out from the teen bringing him down to the ice with her, laughing hysterically, "JAY BECKER! You are such a BRAT!" she teased.
Howling in pain as his rear met the ice he smacked at her. "Me? You're the one over here pretending to be dead." he then leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry, Sky, but playing crack the whip was the only way Alfie and me could hands for a few minutes."
Pulling him in and hugging his neck, she smiled, "It's okay. BUT I owe you Becker. What you say we go back to the hotel, order hot chocolate from room service and play the Atari dad got me for Christmas? Then you guys can hold hands all you want."
He smiled. "Ok." and the called out to the ice. "Alfie, come here."
The other teen skated up to the two, "You guy's okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, but what do you say we go back to her hotel and play video games till it's time to go to dinner?"
"Sounds good to me," he said as he reached out offering them both help up.
Noah/Blackie's
Reaching down and grabbing the footboard of the bed, Noah panted as he rolled his head back the sweat dripping down his face as his third orgasm quickly approached.
Sliding his hand up and over the man's thighs while he continued to caress the man's ass with his mouth, Blackie gently let his hand caress the man's organ knowing that's all it would take to push him over.
"Oh fuck." Noah cried as his cock erupted yet again coating Blackie's hair. "F-feels sooo good." he panted.
Putting his hands to Noah's hips, Blackie lifted him slowly letting his tongue slide back tracing circles around the man's balls then gently the length of his cock, "How you doing, Doc?" he asked.
"Mmmmm, can't you tell?"
Letting his tongue flick against the tip of the man's member he smiled, "Tell me. Tell me how you feel."
"Amazing, satisfied but hungry, and loved." he smiled down into Blackie's eyes. "I love you, Kid."
Reaching up for Noah's hand, he pulled it down and nuzzled his cheek to it. "I love you too, Doc," he whispered as he continued to place soft wet kisses to the man's bottom.
"Now Blackie, now. I need you inside me now." he cried.
Guiding him down his body, Blackie smiled lovingly up into his eyes as he giddied him down on his throbbing cock.
Loudly groaning as his lover easily penetrated his body Noah immediately leaned forward latching his lips to Blackie's and tasting his own heady scent. Running his fingers through Blackie's sticky wet hair he laughed. "You need a shower."
Biting at the man's lips, he grinned I'm loving the one you're giving me."
Rocking his hips a bit Noah grinned. "I think I got one more in me."
Gasping and moaning slightly as Noah's movements pushed his own climax closer, he panted, "Yeah, cover me, babe."
"You first." he panted as he sat up and bounced himself up and down on the younger man's organ.
"I'm right there, Noah," he panted as he grabbed and clawed at the man's hips, lifting his hips to meet the doctor's thrusts and crying out as his orgasm washed over him.
Moaning and panting as the man's seed filled his body he gave his own cock a few strokes and soon came, showering Blackie's stomach and chest before collapsing down on top of the younger man, his breath coming in heavy pants.
Looping his arms around the man's body and caressing his back as he kissed the sweat from his forehead, Blackie whispered, "Tired, Babe?"
"Huh uh." he mumbled. "That was amazing, I think I had forgotten how good that felt just by itself."
"I enjoyed it too," he whispered as he continued to softly stroke the man's body. "Want to turn around and get under the blankets and sleep awhile?" He asked.
"Lay on me and let me hold you?" he asked as he pulled away.
"Okay," he answered as they moved around to the head of the bed, crawling under the blankets. "Feels so good," he exhaled as he curled into Noah's chest.
"Yeah it does." Noah agreed. "I love you so much Blackie and I always will." he kissed the top of his head.
"Me too, always and forever," he answered as he let his tongue slide against the man's chest.
He shuddered. "Hey I thought we were gonna sleep?"
"Okay," he laughed, "But I just can't help myself. You taste so good," he added licking again.
"Mmmmm." he moaned softly. "Well do what you want, I'm going to sleep." he grinned and closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms tight around Blackie's back.
Later
Sitting in front of the TV in the living room, Noah swallowed the salad in his mouth and reached for a breadstick, then leaned in and whispered in Sky's ear. The girl smiled and left the room.
Blackie slid down off the couch wrapping his legs around Noah's waist, "What are you up to," he whispered in the doctor's ear.
"You think I forgot don't you?" he smiled kissing his lips softly. "I didn't."
"Forgot what?" He asked with a sly smile. He had indeed figured with everything else the Grammy nominee announcements had slipped his mind.
"That tonight is the night the whole world is going to find out just how talented my sweet sexy boy is."
"Thanks you, Noah," he smiled as Dana reached for the remote and asked "What Channel for Entertainment Tonight. It should be coming on any minute."
"12." Blackie answered as Sky came back into the room with the bottle of Champaign, Jay and Alfie right behind her with the glasses.
Noah looked up as he accepted the items.
Looking up at the TV in time to see Billy Joel approaching the podium with Cindy Lauper, he choked on his coke. "Oh, hey, Dana, can you fix it so we don't sit by him, or Danny is going to kick his ass."
The man turned. "Huh? Why in the hell would Danny do that?"
"He hates the video for Claudia's song. Hey, can we tape this?" He asked jumping up.
Noah held up the remote. "It's already taping Babe, relax. What's wrong with the video? I think it's kinda cool."
"The amazon blond bimbo," to quote him Blackie laughed.
"Christie Brinkly?" Anna asked. "What's not to like?"
"Nothing if she was acting classy and not like a fool," Danny said as he, Claudia, Stacy and Frisco topped the steps and came into the room, "Did we miss it?"
Dana shook his head. "Nope not yet, should be on soon."
"This is so exciting," Stacy said as she dropped in the chair and then shook her head to Noah's offered glass of Champaign.
Shooting his lover a cold look Blackie grabbed his head and looked through his hair.
"What?!" Noah asked, "I'm sorry, I forgot, Doll. I'm just excited."
Releasing his hair Blackie glared. "Duh!" as the image on the TV switched to another announcer. "The nominations for best performance by a duo or group are" David Bowie read from the paper in his hand. "The Police for Every Breath You Take..." The deafening screams in the room drowned out the rest of what he said.
Blackie looked up to Danny and the two exchanged proud smiles before Blackie wrapped his arms around Noah's neck and kissed his cheek, "Wow," he whispered.
"I'm so proud of you Babe." he replied just as quietly.
As the next announcer read off country female vocalist announcements, Blackie laughed, "Hey, there we go. Dana, Danny wants to sit by Anne Murray."
"Fuck you. Parrish." Danny retorted, tossing a pretzel at his friend. "Dana, Blackie told me he really really REALLY wants to sit next to Madonna."
"WHY are you guys telling me? I don't decide where you get to sit."
"Rick Springfield for Affair of the Heart." came from the TV and Blackie's head spun around. "Dana you told me he didn't get one."
Smiling, the man said, "Surprise," as he sipped from his Champaign. "You know what that means. Don't you?"
Blackie frowned. "That I'm going up against a good friend?"
"NOOO!' he shook his head, "They are different categories. But Rick's performing, which means you are too."
"No I'm not. I quit remember."
"Touring, you did. You performed on the album, so Rick wants you performing there too."
"No, I can't." he stuttered. "I'm gonna be busy."
"Busy doing what? Kissing Madonna?" Danny interrupted, "Come on, Sticks!"
"No I can't. I'm not a drummer anymore." He pulled away from Noah and brought his legs up hanging his head down."
Turning and wrapping his arms around his lover, Noah whispered in his ear, "It's okay, Babe. If you don't want to you don't have to."
He looked up to Dana. "Why did you lie to me?" he fired before quickly standing and leaving the room.
Pulling himself to his feet, Dana defended, "He asks me why as he storms out of the room. Cause he would have had a nervous break down by now had I told him then." He said as he followed Blackie into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Blackie. Rick's high profile, if his nomination would have leaked before today, I could have got in a lot of trouble."
"But yet you still expect me to go on stage in a month?" he sat down. "Dana don't you understand I am trying to put all that behind me? It almost killed me and it almost destroyed my marriage."
"Hey, if you don't want to you don't have to. Okay. Just know that with the band or not with the band, Rick considers you part of that song and you are welcome to be there. If you aren't going to please let us know as soon as possible so we can arrange for a substitute."
"I have to talk to Noah about it. It's not something I can decide on my own."
In the other room as Noah jumped to his feet, Danny stopped him. "Can I, Noah? I think I know what's wrong."
"Yeah, go ahead." he smiled and continued in his head. 'But you don't and I'll talk to him later when he is calmer.'
Passing Dana in the door way, Danny went over to the table and dropped down to the chair across from Blackie, "Wow, Dude, not bad for a couple of small town waterfront guys hu?"
"Guess not." he shrugged as he opened the fridge. "Want a beer?"
"Do fish swim?" He answered with a smile. "And you are good enough, by the way. You're better then good enough."
Handing him the can he cocked his head. "What are you talking about?"
"Same shit that's been bugging you since we started writing and playing music. You never think you're good enough, or someone else is better. We're both good song writers on own, we're a great team, and you're a top-notch drummer. Hey, you're guitar playing doesn't even hurt my ears anymore."
"Oh." Blackie said as he opened his own can and then drained it dry. "I know. I'm not worried about that."
"Then what is it, Sticks?" He said as he gulped from his can.
"Performing, I'm done with that. I'm starting school in a week you know."
"Yeah, I do know, and I think that's awesome, guy. But what does that have to do with playing a song one more time."
He shrugged. "Nothing, except this last summer was a real bitch. Me and Noah almost broke up twice since Halloween and he had a heart attack 3 weeks ago."
"But you were home by Halloween? I don't understand. I mean I know you hated the road, and you almost starved to death in Japan, but this isn't a road trip."
"No it's performing." he nodded. "What happened on Halloween didn't really have anything to do with touring except that it was bad and caused by he and I not talking to each other and that happened because we got used to not talking to each other when I was on the road."
He nodded, "Okay, Dude, you know what's best for you."
"I can't loose him, Danny." he said quietly.
Sliding from the chair he was in to the one next to his friend, he wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "It won't happen."
"It almost has, too many times now." he let the tears behind his eyes fall unchecked.
Pulling his friend in, he hugged him. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been lately, but I'm here now if you want to talk about it."
"He had a heart attack 3 weeks ago and it was all my fault. We had a huge fight and I left him, told him we were over." His tears turned to sobs. "How could I be so fucking stupid?"
Danny shrugged a bit, "I don't know, but I know how much you love him, so he musta pissed you off."
"Oh my God, Danny, it's not even about that. He didn't really piss me off. I don't even know now what started the whole thing. All I know is as a result he had a heart attack. Those things kill people you know."
"Well, I don't know what to say. Yeah, I know they do, one killed my grandfather, remember."
"I remember." he mumbled through his tears. "I just love him so much and this performing thing has any chance at all of messing up what is finally good again I can't do it."
Stepping into the kitchen, Noah whispered, "Claudia needs you in the other room, Danny."
The boy looked up. "Ok, thanks, Noah." he said as he stood and as he passed the taller man whispered. "I was wrong."
'No shit,' he thought to himself as he crossed and sat down next to Blackie, pulling him in his arms. "Hey," he whispered as he rubbed his back. "It's okay, kid. I swear I'm going to be okay now."
Collapsing against the man he cried. "I don't know if I should take the chance."
"One night, one song, isn't going to hurt us or me. And no matter what you decide, Babe, I'm so proud of you. You've accomplished so much in this last year or two, and you've also been through so much. Whatever you decide, I'm 100% behind you."
Blackie swallowed hard. "I want you to decide. If you want me to do it I will. If you don't then I won't."
Pulling back a bit, Noah slid his hand under Blackie's chin, shaking his own head, "No, kid, I won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you how I see it, give you my advice, but the final decision is yours. Is that ok?"
"That's not what I mean, Noah." Blackie tried to smile. "I have already made my decision and now I want to hear yours. I am choosing to follow your wishes."
"I want you to do it. I think you should do it, because I think you earned the honor in part for what you contributed to the song, but no, Blackie, I'm not going to tell you to do it." He insisted.
The younger man smiled. "You just did."
Noah smiled and sighed, "Have I told you how proud I am of you?"
"Yeah, but you can do it again." he grinned. "I'm sorry I freaked out and ruined your little get together."
"You didn't ruin anything. You want to rejoin the party?"
"In a minute." he reached up and brushed the hair from Noah's face. "What's wrong? I can see in your eyes something is."
He exhaled, "I knew from the moment you started getting crazy in there what you wanted, what you needed. What you need when you get scared. You wanted me to tell you you were doing it. The thought of doing that scares me as much as the thought of me having another heart attack scares you."
Blackie hung his head. "Noah, we talked about this, you said that you could accept that sometimes I needed you to take control and that as long as it wasn't in a sexual sense you could handle. The truth is I had already made up my mind to do it, but if you had said you didn't want me to that would have been ok too. You're more important to me than anything else."
He nodded, "I'm trying, kid. We're going to find the right balance, and we're going to be all right. I'm going to listen to the doctors and get better, and we're going to keep talking to each other, and keep loving each other." He leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I love you, and you earned your Grammy nominations, and you earned your place on that stage, and I'm going to be the proudest spouse in that building next month. Come on, Let's have another glass of Champaign, then call and congratulate Rick."
Blackie nodded. "I love you, Doc, and I don't really want to rejoin the party. Would it be ok if we just went into our room and watched the rest just me and you in bed?"
He nodded, "If that's what you want."
"It is." he confirmed. "How about I pour us a glass of wine to share while you tell everyone we'll be back out when it's over?"
"Okay," he smiled. "I'll wait for you on the steps."
"Ok, oh before you go. White or red? I remember Bucky saying one was better for you but I forget which."
"Red," he answered, thinking to himself even if red wasn't better for him, it was what he liked better and what he wanted.
"Alright. See you in a minute." he said as he looked in the fridge for an open bottle.
In the bedroom
As the announcer began reading, "And for song of the year, Rock. . ." Blackie caught his breath and hugged Noah's chest tight. "This is it, Doc, the big one."
"Love you, Kid," he whispered stroking the man's back as the announcer read the nominees. Finally after getting through the others she announced "Songwriters Blackie Parrish-Kelly and Danny ________ for Every Breath You Take"
He took a big deep breath and let it out slowly, "Love you too, Doc." He closed his eyes, and waited, hoping for the congratulations he desperately wanted.
Rolling the younger man to his back Noah kissed him deeply. "Coagulations my sweet boy." he whispered as the temperature in the room suddenly increased and the shadowy form appeared at the end of the bed. "Excuse me."
Startling Blackie looked over Noah's shoulder and smiled wide, still hugging the man's neck, "MOM!"
"Hey, Baby." she smiled at him.
Rolling from Blackie, Noah smiled, "Hey, mom, how's it going?"
"Good, but it looks like it's going better here." She turned to Blackie. "I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you Blackie."
He blushed as he ran his fingers through his hair, "Thanks, Mom. I wish. . . well, you know."
"I know, Baby, and I will be there. I promise you that."
"I know. I've missed you," he said softly.
She frowned. "I'm sorry, Blackie."
Seeing the frown, he closed his eyes and turned into Noah's chest, "love you, Mom."
"I love you too, Baby, but you do know that I'm gone right? I'm with you as much as I can be but I can't be with you all the time anymore." she moved closer as if to hug him. "My family is back together now and I have to look after all of you. Can't you share me?"
"Yeah, I know," he whispered as he hugged Noah's chest tighter. "I'm fine." Looking up to Noah, he asked, "Can I have just a minute with her? Then I'll be upstairs."
He kissed his lips softly. "Of course, Babe, I'll wait for you in the studio." he said as he slid from the bed and then left the room.
Once alone, he looked to the shadows. "Thank you, for staying with him and keeping him safe. . but if you would have told ME, maybe I could have helped him, prevented the heart attack all together."
"Blackie, honey, I can't interfere in everything, some things are meant to happen and I have to let them."
He nodded, "Okay."
"You're mad at me aren't you?"
He shook his head as he began to cry, "I'm just scared of being alone again."
"Oh, honey, you're not going to be alone. You and Noah are going to love each other for a very long time."
"Don't do this, Mom. Please, don't do this." He said as he pulled himself from the bed. "Just like when I was a kid, and you'd tell me everything was going to be fine, then go crawl in your bottle and leave me all alone."
"I'm not saying there won't be struggles Blackie because there will be, but like I told him, you two are going to live here and love each other and raise your children together."
He wrapped his arms around his body, as he leaned back against the wall. "I do appreciate you staying with him that night, thank you." He stammered, "But I'm going to go back to him, and my family and friends now."
"Damnit I wish I had a solid body so I could smack you upside the head." she fumed and lifted her hand pointing to the door and locking it.
Struggling against the locked door he spun back to her. "Damn it, Mom. Let me out of here."
"No." she refused. "Now sit down and knock off the spoiled brat act."
Dropping down to the edge of the bed, he exhaled loudly.
"Now do you want to tell me why you suddenly think I don't love you?"
"I didn't say that!" he snapped at her. "Awe, FUCK!" he screamed, "Damn it, Mom, just go, okay. I'm a grown man, I don't need your promises of a perfect life."
"I know you didn't say it and you need to adjust your attitude right fucking now. I am your mother. I'm not promising you a perfect life. I'm saying you and Noah will be together. How happy or unhappy you are together is up to the 2 of you."
"Okay," he whispered. "Just go, Mom," as he began to cry.
"Fine, Blackie, I'll go and you can stop calling me whenever you fuck up and need to be bailed out. I'm dead and you're alive. Get over it."
"EXACTLY!" he screamed, "Now you get it! That's exactly it! You're dead, so just get the fuck out of my life! You bailed, Mom! You left me, and then you get all mad when I say I miss you. Fine, I won't fucking miss you anymore."
"I didn't bail, Blackie, I died. I wish I hadn't but I did and there is nothing neither of us can do about it now."
"I know that," He wept.
"Baby, I miss you too, and if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't have died, leaving you alone. But the past is the past. You aren't alone now."
"No, I'm not," he agreed but still hating that what he wanted most in the world, his mother's comforting arms around him, would never be. "I'm fine, Mom."
Moving closer she engulfed his body the best she could. "I'd give anything to be able to really hug you and tell you how much I love you, Baby."
He nodded through his tears, breathing in the scent of her perfume that somehow seemed to be floating in the air, "I love you too, Mom. I don't need you to take care of me anymore, but if you could do a little something for Noah, cause I do need him," he wept.
"I know you do and he needs you too. What is it? I don't know if I can but if so I will."
"I don't know," he shrugged with a bit of a laugh, "You're the one whose dead, something to keep him here. Or just kick my ass every time I cause him to have a heart attack."
She smiled at her son. "Just keep loving him, Blackie, that is what is going to keep him here and you didn't cause the heart attack. It's been building for a very long time."
"I couldn't stop even if I wanted to," he answered with a smile.
"Then will you listen to me please when I tell you, you will be fine?"
He nodded, "Okay, Mom, Thank you," he whispered. "I love you and I miss you everyday."
"I love you too Blackie and I miss you. I miss hugging you."
"I miss that too, Mom."
"Go be with your family, Baby. You know I'll always come when you really need me, but can you make sure when you call that you do really need me?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I will."
"I love you Blackie." she said as she faded from sight.
Standing at the edge of the hall, Blackie wiped his eyes again and tried to smile before walking into the studio, "Come on, Babe, let's go back upstairs."
Standing Noah crossed the room and took his lover in his arms. "Are you ok Kid?"
Returning the man's hug he answered, "Yeah, I am."
"You sure you want to go back to the party?" he asked as he ran his fingers through the man's hair. "We can stay down here if you want."
"No, I want to. I was upset, but I'm okay now. Come on," he said as laced his fingers in Noah's.