Vix sighed as she glanced at the picture on her dresser. He was so beautiful. Those eyes that were literally the color of the sky on a clear summer day sparkled at her. Those straight white teeth beamed a smile at her. His hair was soft and wavy and, in that particular picture, flopped in his incredible face.
She missed him. It had been almost two months since she'd seen him. He hadn't called, hadn't E-mailed her; hell, he hadn't even dropped a postcard from any of the many cities he was in.
Sure, she was lonely. What bothered her the most, though, was how distant he'd been lately. There was almost always that far away look in his eyes, and he didn't kiss her like he meant it anymore. Worst of all was that after six months together, he still hadn't told her he loved her. Maybe he didn't. But if things didn't change soon, she was moving on. No one broke Victoria Anderson's heart. Not even the gorgeous and talented Joseph McIntyre.
"Hey, Vix, sorry it took me so long to call." Joe's voice came through the phone clearly, striking pain in her heart.
"Yeah, I'll bet. Want to explain why?" she asked bitterly.
"Well, you know we're in Pasadena, right?"
"What, they don't have phones in California anymore?" she was surprised at the anger in her voice. She'd never confronted Joe on not calling before.
"Well, yeah, but this is a really important show for me. I mean, Jordan's going to be there, performing, too, and we're doing that duet from our old days... Well, it's just been really busy and stuff, you know?"
Vix sighed in frustration. Yeah, she knew. He was just too busy for her. She was sick of having this talk with him. Why wouldn't he just admit there wasn't room for her in his life?
"Yeah, I know, you're always busy." she muttered.
"I'm really sorry, Vix."
"I'm sure. Any idea when you'll get home?"
"One week at best, but no more than two. Listen, Vic, I uh...well..." Joe stuttered nervously. Vix's heart soared. Maybe this was it! Maybe he'd finally end a phone call with the simple words, "Love you."
"Yeah, Joe?" she said, then held her breath.
"Oh, um, nothing. I'll call as soon as I can. Bye."
"Bye." Vix whispered, but she was only speaking to the dial tone.
Vix planned Joe's homecoming carefully. He was coming by her place as soon as he dropped off his stuff, and, if she had her way, he wouldn't be leaving. Today was the day, and everything had to be perfect.
She'd already planned and made dinner: a light but creamy fettucini alfredo, butter rolls, and an amazing 5 lettuce salad with his favorite vinaigrette dressing. Chilling in the refrigerator was a bottle of Chardonnay.
Now Vix had to focus on getting herself ready. Try as she might, she couldn't decide what to wear. In a fit of desperation, Vix called her two best friends, Liz and Krystal. Liz was best friends with Joe, too, and knew his likes and dislikes. Crystal was Vix's closest friend and was also a clothes horse. Vix knew that together, they could turn her into the woman of Joe's dreams.
Ten minutes later, all three of them stood in front of the closet, thinking. Crystal grabbed a short, black skirt and a powder blue top, which was quickly rejected by Liz.
"She'll match his eyes-he'll hate that." Liz said, pulling out a black and white pantsuit.
"No way! That flattens her chest. She's supposed to be voluptuous, remember?"
The girls began disagreeing on every outfit in the closet. The room became one big mess, and Vix collapsed on the bed, dizzy at the sight of so many clothes.
Ten minutes later, though, Crystal and Liz were done. The black skirt Crystal had originally picked out was now matched with a silk top of the palest shade of lavender.
"Perfect!" They both exclaimed together.
"Now sit." Crystal commanded, pointing at the vanity chair. Startled, Vix sat. Liz pulled out Vix's make-up and Crystal started playing with her long blond hair. Vix simply sat still and let them work their magic.
Half an hour later, Vix was transformed. Her face was illuminated and her honey blond hair had been pulled into an elegant chignon at the back of her neck. A simple silver chain hung around her neck and the small but stunning diamonds Joe had given her sparkled in her ears.
"Well?" Liz asked excitedly.
"I love it!" Vix exclaimed. "You two are the greatest. I just hope Joe agrees."
"Why are you so worried lately about what Joe thinks?" Crystal asked, concern showing on her face.
"Well..." Vix was afraid of their reaction, and she hesitated.
"You've got to tell us-who else can you talk too?" Crystal urged. Vix agreed, and slowly poured out her feelings of the last few months, staring at her hands the whole time.
"But Joe loves you!" Liz blurted in surprise. Vix looked up in surprise. "He told me so before he left. I wasn't supposed to say anything to you, but he wanted to wait until the timing was right." Liz rattled on. Vix's mouth dropped open.
"Well he's sure not acting like a man in love." she whispered a moment later.
"He's been hurt, Vix. Every time he gives his heart, someone breaks it. He's probably afraid."
"Well, maybe. But hopefully after tonight he'll be so caught up in the moment he'll have to say it." Vix, whispered, looking in the mirror and smoothing a strand of hair into place.
Everything was perfect. Candles were lit. The table was set with a beautiful lace tablecloth, delicate china covering it. Mozart was playing softly and the smell of Italian food filled the air.
Joe's heart dropped as he glanced around the room. She'd gone through all this trouble. Glancing at his watch, he felt the blood flow from his face. It was a quarter past eleven. He was three hours late.
With a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach he continued through the house. Fresh flowers filled each room, mostly roses and lilacs. The lights were down, except a few sparkling candles arranged here and there. Curled up in the corner of the couch in the rec room sat Vix, looking absolutely beautiful.
Sliding back into the kitchen, Joe leaned on the counter and put his head in his hands. She'd gone through all this trouble, and he'd ruined it.
Desperately, he tried to think of a way to get her to forgive him. He glanced again at his watch. Maybe one of those late stores would have flowers, or some jewelry or something. He turned to walk out the door when he heard a throat clearing sound behind him. Slowly, Joe turned around and faced the accusatory brown eyes in front of him.
"Why?" was the only word out of her mouth. He'd expected a long, disgusted lecture. Instead she only said that one word. Clearly and firmly, but with a tear on her cheek, she whispered, "Why?"
Joe's heart stopped. He didn't have a good reason. She'd never understand why he'd stopped to hang out with Jordan and Donnie at the club, or why a detour to his friends' house was necessary. Come to think of it, he didn't quite understand it himself.
"I stopped at Mom's place to pick up my keys." he said, hoping his voice would hold out.
"Don't lie to me, Joe." she whispered. "I called your Mom. I also called Carol, Trish, and Tom. No one knew where you were, Joe. I was scared." The brave tone was gone from her voice and Vix sounded desperate.
"Vix, baby, I'm sorry. I really am." She didn't look convinced. Stepping forward, he reached out to touch her cheek, but she pulled away. Joe's bright blue eyes clouded sadly to a storm gray. "Vix, honey, I just don't know what to say."
Vix walked over to the kitchen table and glanced up at him. She reached down and picked up the first item she saw; a napkin.
"Honestly, Joe, I feel like I'm as important to you as this napkin. Every once in a while I'm needed, and then I get tossed to the side. Joe, I'm not a napkin, I'm your girlfriend! Or at least I was." Joe knew where it was headed, but he was desperately trying to convince himself it wasn't true.
"Was? Vix, come on, you don't mean...for being late? You can't leave me!" he cried.
"You weren't late just once, you've been late for everything these last two months. You hardly ever call, you've been skipping dates. I'm tired of this." Slowly she slipped the interlock heart ring he'd given her for their two month anniversary off of her finger. Walking across the kitchen, she stopped in front of him. She stared into his eyes one last time.
Reluctantly he held out his hand, and Vix placed the ring in his palm and closed his fingers around it. She lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles sadly.
"It's over, Joe. I think you know that." Without a word, he turned and walked to the door. She followed him. As he pulled the door open, he turned to face her.
"Every minute was worth it, Vix." he whispered, and stepped on to the porch.
"Maybe. But Joe?" He turned around. "Thank you for the six loneliest months of my life."
Joe didn't go straight home that night. Instead he went over to his parents' house. Using the key that all the McIntyre kids had, he slipped inside.
Katherine was on the couch, tucked into a ball, deeply involved in a novel. Joe knew his father was already asleep.
As she glanced up from turning a page, she noticed her son standing in the door frame. Quickly she put her book down and sat up.
"Joseph, honey, it's after midnight. What's wrong?" A look of concern crossed her face and she patted the seat next to her. Joe crossed the room and sat, then placed his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.
"I blew it, Mom. I blew it and I lost her." Kay moaned and shook her head.
"You don't mean...?"
"Yep. Vix broke up with me. I was an idiot, and a jerk, and she's gone." He sighed, devastated.
"I hate to say it, but I warned you. Relationships take time and commitment, something you don't have a lot extra of." she told him, putting her arm around him tightly.
"I know. I never wanted to leave her, but she knew what she was getting into. Besides...I...I love her." he blurted. Kay looked at him startled, but then a slow smile crept up.
"Yeah, I knew you did. Wait-does she know that?"
"What, that I love her?" Kay nodded. "Well, yeah, of course. I mean, I buy her jewelry, I take her to dinner, and the movies..." Joe's voice trailed off as the look of disappointment on his mother's face grew.
"But you never told her." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Realization hit him and Joe's face fell.
"Shit, no..." he whispered. "Do you think she's upset?" The look on his mother's face was so comical, he had to smile. "OK, OK, so I'm a jerk and a loser. Do you think it's worth trying to get her back?" he asked, sadly.
"Joe, anyone you love is worth fighting for. You don't just let a girl like that go."
Two weeks later, he still hadn't been able to talk to her. Between rehearsals, promotions, and trying to spend time with his family, he'd only been able to call a few times. Each had been answered by the answering machine, and none had been returned.
He called on days he knew she'd be there. He called one Saturday morning at 10:00 AM, when normally she'd be sitting in bed with apple juice watching cartoons. Instead, as usual, he got the answering machine.
"Vix, sweetie, it's me. Listen, I'm really sorry. Please call me back. We need to talk about this." And, as usual, days went by and she didn't call.
By the end of their third week apart, Joe was missing Vix like crazy. He wanted desperately to see her, to hear her voice, to smell her hair, to just know she was nearby. She was never in their old places anymore, no matter how often he went. None of their friends would say her name in front of him. It was like she'd dropped off the face of the Earth.
Tossing a piece of long, blond hair over her shoulder, Vix giggled and took a sip of her Coke. DJ was so funny-and so cute-she was glad Crystal had introduced them.
She and this 6'0", dark-haired, gray-eyed cutie weren't officially a couple. They'd gone to dinner on their first date, and the movies for their second. Now they were at the pizza party with some friends, and she was having a blast.
OK, yeah, she did miss Joe. It was terrible sitting there on her bed, listening to his voice on the answering machine and not calling back. But DJ made her laugh and made her happy. He could never make her forget. He wouldn't replace Joe; he couldn't erase her memories of Joe. Instead, he would help her to move on, help her stop screening her calls.
"Vix? Vix, did you hear a word I just said?" Crystal was asking. Vix snapped her head in her friend's direction.
"What? No, I'm sorry, Crys, I missed it. What were you saying?"
"I was talking about Trish McIntyre's party. Are you going?" Vix's eyebrows raised in surprise. Sure, she'd received her invitation. She was really good friends with Trish after all. But did anyone actually expect her to be at a party where her ex-boyfriend was sure to be there?
"I'm still pretty undecided. Are any of you guys going?" she asked the group around her. Skye, Liz, Crystal, and Jake nodded. Alex and Nick shook their heads. DJ gave Vix a sympathetic smile and shrugged.
"I honestly don't know. It's my parents' 25th anniversary this weekend, and they sort of wanted me to come up." Vix fought to hide her disappointment. She didn't want to let Trish down, and she really wanted to go if all of her friends were going. Still, she couldn't imagine going to a party Joe would be at without another guy on her arm. Surpressing a sigh, she smiled at DJ.
"Go see your parents. I know it's been a while. There'll be other parties when you get back." She smiled, knowing deep down there'd be no other party she'd need him at more.
Grinning at his sister, Joe headed over and put another bowl of chips on the table. Vix had finally called Trish and said she was coming, and Joe had been walking on air ever since. Trish rolled her eyes at her brother's smile and shook her head.
"Joey, she left you for a reason. I don't want to sound harsh, but what makes you think that she's going to come back to you?" Joe's face fell sadly.
"I know. I was so awful to her. But I'm ready to make a change. I just want a chance, Trisha."
"Leave him alone, Patricia, he means well." Carol said, bringing in the sodas and cups. Tom would be stopping by with the beer and wine coolers later.
"Yeah, well, maybe, but still. He's got to move on." Trisha shot back. They continued to fight about his breakup with Vix as if he wasn't even in the room. When he finished straightening out the plastic tablecloth, he left the living room and went out to the patio.
Trish's house was on a lake, and Joe would often just sit on the patio and stare out on the lake. He'd been doing that a lot lately, both here and at the lake by his own house. It hurt, bringing back the memories of Vix, but in a way it was a comfort. It was so beautiful and peaceful, it was still his favorite place to be.
He had to make his move tonight, and he had to make it count. Somehow he had to tell Vix, that he loved her. He had to have her back in his life.
Multicolored lights were flashing everywhere, bodies were bouncing around the room, and a smoke machine went off every five minutes in the corner. The music was blasting, but talking and laughing could still be heard. This party was jamming!
Jake and Skye were dancing in the middle of the dance floor, and Liz and her long time boyfriend Bobby had found a comfy spot on the couch. Crystal had met one of Joe's friends from when he was little and they were chatting away. Vix, on the other hand, stood by the refreshment table, glancing nervously around the room.
Patricia came by to fill up the chips and noticed Vix standing there. Glancing up, Trish frowned.
"Aren't you having fun?" she asked, dumping the bag of Ruffles into the bowl and facing her friend.
"Don't take it personally, Trish, it's the party of the year. I just shouldn't have come. I should've known I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself." Trish shook her head.
"If it makes you feel any better, I doubt my little brother will wind up making an appearance. Hey, come on, I want you to meet someone." Taking her arm, Patricia dragged Vix across the room to where a pretty brunette stood, looking lost.
"Vix, this is Suzanne, Jordan's new girlfriend. Jay's going to be late tonight, and I don't want poor Suz standing here like she hasn't a friend in the world. Suzanne, this is Vix. She's like a little sister to me. I have to go fight with the DJ. I'll be back." With that, Patricia headed off to the DJ's booth, to beg for a few more ballads.
Glancing at the pretty brunette in front of her, Vix smiled. She and Jordan probably looked adorable together.
"Hey, how're you? Don't look like you're having the greatest time." Suzanne asked her, a heavy southern drawl apparent. Vix grinned at the warm, drawn out voice.
"I'm doing OK, honest. I'm just...on the lookout, we'll say. Where are you from?" she asked, desperate to change the subject. Suzanne laughed.
"Texas, isn't it obvious? I get asked that a lot up here. You Boston people will just never get used to a girl with an accent, when half of you have one of your own." Vix giggled and shook her head.
"Sounds like you took a lot of flack from Jay, and threw it right back." Suzanne nodded. "Actually, I'm from all over the East coast, myself. A while in Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, New York, and now Boston of course. So I don't have any accent, really." Suzanne nodded, and they started talking about living in different places. Vix was amazed at how easy this girl was to talk to, and would have been happy talking to her all night. Maybe they'd keep in touch after this horrible night was over.
"So how do you know Trisha?" Suzanne asked, innocently. Vix's face flushed, and she mumbled quietly. "I was pretty good friends with her brother."
"Tom? He's a sweetie, I like him already." Slowly Vix shook her head. "Oh. You meant Joe. Sorry, I should have known. Wait. Did you say was?"
Vix nodded, fighting the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. She hated to cry in front of anyone. She hadn't cried in front of Joe, she didn't expect to cry in front of a stranger. "We're not exactly talking anymore."
"Wow, I'm sorry. Did you have a fight?" She'd always heard Texas girls could talk up a storm, but Vix was starting to think Suzanne was just plain nosy.
"Yeah. That's one way to put it." she said, and just at that point, Jordan walked up behind Suzanne, and wrapped his arm around her. Glancing up, she smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss. Dropping his arm, he walked over and kissed Vix on the cheek.
"How're you holding up?" he asked. She looked at him sadly.
"I'm doing a lot better lately. DJ's great, but he's just not Joe, you know?" Jordan hugged her, and nodded.
"Yeah, I know. Not many people are. But hey, you're holding up and moving on. That's great." Stepping back over to Suzanne, he continued. "So I see you've met my best girl." he said with a laugh. Suzanne and Vix both giggled.
"Sure did, and Wally, she's real swell. Hey, can the Beav come out and play?" Vix asked teasingly. Jay took teasing well, and he laughed right along.
"Aw, well shucks, yeah. Anyway, how's the guest list looking at this party so far? Anyone else I know?" The three of them stood there laughing and talking about who was there, and were soon joined by Liz and Bobby, and later Crystal and her hookup. They were all talking and joking around, when Vix saw a familiar face slide through the door.
Her heart started pounding, and her blood was racing through her body. She felt short of breath. Her knees went weak, and her whole face felt flushed.
He was still as gorgeous as they day they met, if not more so. He was wearing his now famous jean jacket, since there were some lingering chills in the spring air. His jeans were dark, and his shirt was blue. His curls were wet, and were just thrown into place. All in all, Joe looked fabulous.
Breathing in deeply, Vix turned away before she fell under his spell again. It wasn't difficult, when he came breezing into the party with the confidence a man of his fame and wealth should possess. He sure didn't look like a guy who was hurting.
"Vix? You OK?" Crystal asked, putting her hand on Vix's arm. Her friend looked up at her and nodded slowly.
"Yeah. It just came as kind of a shock at first. I'm fine." Jordan glanced at her. He whispered to Suzanne, who nodded, then he looked back at Vix.
"Wanna dance?" he asked. She smiled.
"Yeah, I guess. Couldn't hurt." she teased. Jordan made an indignant face and dragged her out on to the dance floor.
"Are you sure you're OK?" he asked, once they got there.
"No, I'm not really. I'm miserable. Why does he have to show up here looking like he hasn't a care in the world, when my life's been hell without him?" she asked, looking up at Jordan's caring face.
"I thought so. Vix, I've never heard Joe cry in his life, but when he first called me and told me you left, he was devastated. I don't think he's quite as confident as you think." he said, spinning her around. She giggled.
"Well, maybe, but still...does he have to look so good faking it?" Jordan stopped dancing, and held her.
"Having regrets?" he asked, softly. Looking up into his dark brown eyes, Vix had to thank Joe for giving her a friend this wonderful.
"Not exactly. I really couldn't stay in a relationship where I had to give 110% of myself, while he gave next to nothing. But I really did love him." Jordan kissed her forehead and smiled.
"I know. And I know it hurts. But do me a favor and smile anyway, OK?" he said, and as they started dancing again, Jordan felt a tap on his shoulder. Vix's brown eyes grew wide.
"Mind if I cut in?" Joe asked, sweetly. Jordan glanced at Vix, who shrugged.
"Um...yeah. Sure. Why not?" she said, stepping away from Jordan, and walking into Joe's arms, just as a slow song came on. Trisha's plan had obviously worked.
He smelled fantastic, and the gentle cotton of his shirt caressed her cheek. They danced gently to the sounds of Jordan's song, "Never Take the Place of Your Man." Slowly Joe's hand found it's way to her hair, and he rubbed it softly.
"Vix, I'm really sorry." he murmured. Pulling away, she stared into his eyes, those eyes of sky blue that she'd stared into so many times before.
"For what? For leaving me all those times with hardly a good-bye? For never kissing me goodnight the way you always wanted to? For holding back how you felt instead of admitting to me that you were upset? Or for coming here tonight to try and win me back?" Vix surprised even herself. She'd thought herself too scared to try and stand up to Joe, and she had anyway.
Joe was a little surprised himself. His timid, shy ex-girlfriend had certainly changed, possibly for the better.
"For all of that, Vix. Well, except maybe for the last one. I can't be sorry for wanting you back. Can you forgive me for what happened? Can't we start over?" Vix pulled away, and looked at him angrily.
"You're serious, aren't you? You honestly want me to forget the fact that you seem to be unable to commit, and you want me to just float back into your arms." Joe lowered his head, unable to meet her eyes. He had to think of something, and fast. "Well, forget it, Joe. I thought I would spend forever with you, but obviously I was wrong. I didn't know who you were then, but I sure do now. You're not worth my time." Eight months of built up frustration came pouring out of her. She turned on her heel to leave, wishing with every ounce that she could talk herself into staying. When she felt Joe's hand on her arm, she broke down and cried. Slowly, she turned to face him.
"Vix, please. Hear me out. I was stupid. I know that. I was a jerk, an idiot, and a fool. I know all that, too. But I didn't know what I had until you told me to leave. You're my life! You meant so much to me, and you still do. Please come back to me." He whispered to her sadly, as pain filled him watching the tears run down her cheeks. She shook her head, and turned to leave again, but his hand still gripped hers.
"Joe, come on. I'm seeing someone else now. He cares about me, a lot, and I'm not going to leave him for your late nights and few phone calls." She shook off his arm, and started leaving.
"But Vix, I love you!" he blurted. Several people around them turned to view their fight. Vix stopped in her footsteps, and simply stood there. She turned to face him very slowly, her eyes blazing with anger.
"You're kidding, right? You tell me this eight months later? Six months of my being at your beck and call, while you left me behind? I don't think so, Joe. That's not going to fool me." His eyes glazed over with tears of his own, and he shook his head.
"I do, Vix. I've been so afraid to tell you, but I do." She didn't say anything for a few moments, giving him hope.
She stared at him, memories flooding through her. She did love him. She always would. And deep down, she knew he loved her, too. Still, there was no guarantees he'd changed. No way of knowing if this was the same man she'd given up for a reason or not. She shook her head in misery.
"I'm sorry, Joe. I think it's a little too late for that. Do me a favor, though, and tell that to the next girl you fall in love with. Don't let her slide out of your fingers. Don't let another woman who loves you dearly have to tell you good-bye."
The End
