Hey ya'll...welcome to the year 1999 in review. We're not talking current events here...we're talking N Sync events. Bad hairstyles, bad clothes, embarassing moments, tv appearances, concerts, etc. This is anything and everything (including girlfriends, friends, family...you know I really mean STEVER...lol.)...total N Sync uncensored...in the simplest form...the ABC's. (Thanks to Brit at Everybody's Free for the idea of using ABC's! Check out her page under our links. Her page is CrUnK and so's she!) One other thing is that there are many references to my own thoughts and N Sync related experiences. So let's digitally get-down to business...
A is for AFRO-BEAST. Justin went through several hair progressions throughout the last year of the 20th century. This one was his biggest (and I mean BIGGEST) mistake. His hair expanded before our eyes, reaching such mammoth proportions that he acquired his own zipcode towards the end of the year in review. Far be it from me to judge, but he looks like a walking chia pet.
B is for BACK dat azz up. It all started in Vegas when Lance soulfully "backed dat azz up" at the bar in Rum Jungle. Since then it became the other guys' favorite song (Lance's least favorite). We've seen the guys backin their azzes up on TV shows, especially TRL. We think it's CrUnK.
C is for CRACKNUTS. JC was branded Cracknuts in the year 1999 by Brit's site, and has been adopted as his nickname since then. Come on people, that energy onstage comes from somewhere and it's either the crack or they just pull him out of his cage every night and wind him up for the show.
D is for DAWTBOARD. Boff was the one that introduced us to this word. He didn't want Brit and Val to make his picture into a DAWTBOARD (it's said that way cuz of his accent). But, they lost it anyways so they couldn't have even if they wanted to. I personally would just like to thank Boff for his contribution of the word DAWTBOARD to the SSFC.
E is for EDIT. During our vacations, we constantly rip on the guys and Stever. So sometimes we'd edit ourselves. Cuz if we sent it to Steve he'd pry be like "those [edit] girls are [edit], and I am going to [edit] their [edit] if they keep making fun of my [edit]".
F is for FAT-ONES. For some reason, where one FAT-one is...the others aren't far behind. During the year 1999 I got the pleazzzzzure of seeing Janine (she's sooooooooo pretty lol. I really wish she would have worn something besides her black swimsuit and blue sarong everyday. Oh wait! She wore lime green fuzzy slippers or some shit one night. Go Janine.), Phyllis (I know this girl that can do an impression of Phyllis PERFECTLY. It's hilarious, right Val?), and Joe Sr. (He's really...interesting. I just love his Boff shirt.) And then my personal favorite: Stever (that chip in his tooth...grr..hold me back. LOL.), and then finally Joey. He's...even more repulsive in person by the way. Lol. Sorry, I don't like my Italians quite so creamy.
G is for GHETTO Supastar......that is jTr (like the necklace). Lol. THAT little song is courtesy Amy$Dolla$Dolla$Billz.
H is for HAWAII. I love Hawaii...I'm never leaving. J/k...I had to. But Hawaii was the starting ground for the elusive SSFC...and I got to meet Justin. So that was crunk. Also I can't stress enough HOW much spending my vacation drooling over FUBU Drew (Dre) and Scragglypoof (Trace) meant to me.
I is for INNOCENT. *Hint* -They aren't. It's also for INNOSENSE. They are www.crunkforsteve --woo hoo. :)
J is for JEAN JACKETS. Here's a piece of advice for you...never go out in public without your best 80's jean jacket. Studs and rhinestones just add that extra..pizazz. Lol.
K is for KELLY. Joey's long term woman that's like NEVER mentioned. My advice to her? Dump the dawtboard.
L is for LONNIE. He's a big fine bodyguard...why don't he back that ass up. We love Lonnie.
M is for MOMMY Crunkness. If you didn't know, that's Lynn...J-dawg's mom. She doesn't like it very much if you yell that at her and her nasty yellow poof hair. Lol.
N is for NSA. They sold about 5 million copies in the first five weeks. Eat that Backstreet.
O is for O-town. The breeding ground of boybands. Unfortunately it's also the land of really fat business men and Howie D.
P is for PUPPETS. Enough already...they are scary and they've used them to death as it is. (And the first leg of the new tour JUST started).
Q is for QUIRKS. They've all got em (hell, everyone does!)...and without them, what the HECK would we make fun of them for?
R is for RUBEN. We wanna, we wanna rock with Ruben...reeeeeaaaaaaarrrrr. 1999 was the last year that Ruben had his oh so sexxxxxy (ew) jheri curls. I will miss them (*cries*-lol)...but I cherish the memory of him romping down the beach, hair flapping in the wind as he frolicked in his yellow mesh shirt.
S is for STEVER, SCRAGGLYPOOF, and SSFC. Gotta love Stever, even though he hates everything. There's no SSFC without him. Lol. Which by the way was a totally half-assed idea in the wee hours of the morning but hey it worked so what EVER right? Scragglypoof...it was love at first site when I saw him and his trailer park trash ensemble. He's so sesky. Riiiight. I wanna run my teeth thru his afro and lick his barcode. (Right Brit?)
T is for THRUSTING...which there can NEVER EVER be too much of.
U is for UKELELE. How weird is it that Ashley can buy a 9 dollar uke, play it on New Years Eve with the rest of the SSFC girls...and MAKE 35 dollars singing "Back Dat Ass Up" -the modified version, "How Can I Live" -to Dre and Stever, "Margaritaville" -which like one person knows the words to, "Celebration" -the N Sync version NOT the Kool & the Gang version..to a bodyguard, etc. We are NUTS. Lol.
V is for VIVA Las VEGAS. Some of us got to see Stever gamble away his last nickel, some got to see Joey shake his groove thang at the Rum Jungle (and later MISSED OUT. PEACE), some got to see Lance try and eat his credit card after a late night at the crap tables, and others got to harass Scary Guy. It was fun.
W is for WASTED. And let me just tell you, Mr. Personality (Tyler) was WASTED on New Year's Eve. Not to mention that he decided to go in the ocean with all his clothes on. I bet Cracknuts wasn't too happy bout that.
X is for XXX-rated. I bet all of Stever and Joey's footage is scandalous...and VERY XXX-rated. Plus we love Stever cuz he's seXXXy.
Y is for YELLOW Rat Bastard. It's a store...in SoHo. It's also Stever's nickname...which in a weird way he kind of looks like a [edit]. Lol...sorry Stever.
Z is for ZOOOOOOOOOM. Stever likes to zooooom. Let's just hope to God that he never breaks his finger.
