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JC's Bicycle Adventures

This was something I wrote for the CrunkNsyncHumor e-list...so some of you may have seen it before. Anyways pssh enjoy.


Ya'll know how Jayce likes to ride his bicycle around the streets of Otown right? Riprock and AG LIVE with JC, and Stever likes to ride his bike too. So here's a little visual for you.

Picture this carefully:

It's a dreary day in Orlando. JC looks out the window and frowns, sad because it's pouring and that means he isn't going to get to ride his bike around town that day. He needs his exercise. Poor JC. Then he remembers that he has a bright yellow slicker and hat to wear in order to protect his gel helmet head against the harsh elements. So, slipping them on, he also pulls on his shiny red galoshes, and makes his way out into the garage...Riprock and AG not far behind.

Wheeling his banana seat bicycle out of the garage, past the Jeep, JC sits down on the Hello Kitty seat, gently letting the handlebar streamers to fall through his fingers as he untangles them. (The last time he rode his bike it was REALLY windy. Blew him backwards right down the street. LMAO) AG hops on the bars that connect the training wheels to the backtire, placing his hands on JC's bony shoulders. Riprock does a running triple lutz dismount as he vaults into the Barbie sidecar protruding from the bike. Scrunching himself into the seat, Riprock plops an army helmet on his head cuz the only bike helmet is the one AG has placed on HIS head. Besides, Riprock doesn't really want that helmet anyways cuz it's not a REAL protective hat, it's one of those Viking hats with the braids and the horns. Cute. So, slowly making their way out of the driveway, they made an amusing sight. (Can't you see it now? JC's dressed like Paddington Bear, AG is wearing a VIKING helmet with blonde braids, and Riprock is in a Barbie sidecar, wheeling precariously alongside JC's Hello Kitty bike. LOL).

Making their way to the FATone house to pick up Stever for their daily ride, tragedy strikes. Suddenly BOFF (Joe Sr.) zooms out of the FATone driveway as JC and "crew" are pulling in. JC watches in horror as Fatty's car sideswipes the sidecar...and it flies off! Joe Sr being the brain surgeon that he is, doesn't even notice as he starts making his way down the freeway that a screaming Riprock is flying along in front of him in his Barbie sidecar. Anyone wanna take a space ride with this cowboy? That's what I thought. So Riprock is zooming down John Young Parkway being pushed by Fatty Sr.'s car...leaving JC and AG in shock.

After they sit and cry about the loss of their friend, hoping he'll survive the precarious ride in that Barbie sidecar, Steve comes out on his Dukes of Hazzard dirtbike. AG is sobbing and when Steve asks what could be the problem, AG sniffles out that his "lover" just went rolling down the freeway. Steve just shrugs and offers to be his replacement lover. That sends AG and JC screaming as they wheel out of the driveway backwards as if on rapid rewind. Peddling backwards down the street, sparks shooting out as the training wheels move in overdrive, they disappear quickly.

Steve is left standing on the sidewalk, confusion painted on his face. Joey comes out gnawing on a hotdog. When Steve explains where everyone went and is upset cuz he has no one to love, Joey just raises an eyebrow before offering one piece of advice.

"Just date someone that looks like our sister. That's what I do."

The End.

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