Kevin
had to leave for the arena by six. That gave them all day to talk and to love
each other. They were still asleep sometime around eight in the morning when
Mac finally came back. He smiled as he saw Jeanie sleeping soundly curled up to
Kevin with her faced pressed into his chest. As quietly as he could, Mac
tiptoed to the closet for clean clothes and then into the bathroom for a
shower. When he came out, they were awake.
"Sorry...I
had to take a shower, I was beginning to make myself sick!" he joked.
"Now
you know how your friends feel," Jeanie teased back, trying to keep the
front of her silky robe together, her tummy kept poking through. She carefully
watched Kevin's reaction to her and Mac's banter. He smiled and was polite, but
guarded. She had no idea of the confrontation between the two men the day
before.
As
soon as Mac changed he left promising to return around six or so. He never
mentioned talking to Kevin. There was no need to.
After
their shower while Jeanie was blow-drying her hair, Kevin ordered breakfast.
She was shocked when she saw how much food he ordered. "Are we having
company?" she giggled as she sat down at the small table laden with
stainless-steel covered dishes.
"No,
you need to eat, remember?" Kevin shook out a white linen napkin and laid
it across her stomach.
"I
know...but..." She looked at the food spread out across the table. There
was fresh fruit, cereal, juice, bacon, ham, eggs, French toast, beignets.
"Oh, Kevin..."
"What?
I thought pregnant ladies were always hungry." he was so sincere she could
hardly keep from laughing.
"Well,"
she smiled bravely and put a little of everything he'd ordered on her plate and
began eating. There was no way she could eat all this, but she'd at least take
a few bites of everything. Kevin was beaming, so proud, as if he'd figured out
exactly the right thing to do for her and their baby ~ and he'd figured it out
all by himself.
As
they ate, they talked. She asked him about the blonde that he'd been dating.
She wasn't angry, but made it clear that this was the time to lay all the cards
on the table.
Kevin
diverted his eyes for a moment. Gathering up his courage, he told her about the
woman and how they'd known each other a long, long time.
"Do
you love her, Kev?" Jeanie whispered.
He
took a deep breath and stared at the table, then back to her. "I won't
ever lie to you," his voice trailed off. "Yes."
Jeanie
forced a tiny smile. "Thank you."
"I
love you, too, Jeanie. I do," he scrambled for words, frantic to make her
realize he DID love her.
"I
know you do." She laid her fork down. "Kevin, I love you and I won't
lie to you either." Her emerald eyes began to well, but she fought off her
tears. "Don't ever mistake my kindness or my love for stupidity."
Kevin
was shocked. He never expected that response.
"I
love you...but I will not share you. That is not an ultimatum. That is not a
threat." Her voice began to warble as she desperately fought to control
her emotions. "I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you without
reservation and without regret. That's not the way you love me."
His
chin quivered as he quickly disagreed, "You're wrong. It is."
She
held a finger up to silence him. "No. It is not. You can't love me one
hundred percent and still love another woman. Kevin," her tone softened,
"that's not fair to her...to me...or to your baby." She got up and
walked around the table to him. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders from
behind, she embraced him. She couldn't hold her tears back anymore.
"From
the first night we met, I've loved you. But I won't wait for you. I can't...I'm
not in a position to wait for you, Kevin." She spoke slowly with loving
resignation; "I will live my life, with or without you. I have a baby to
raise, with or without you. Someday, if you figure all this out, hopefully,
we'll be together. I hope you're not too late."
******************************
Mac
helped Jeanie finish packing. The concert was well underway by the time they
were loaded up and ready to head back to Dallas.
"Mac,
what time is our flight?" she asked as she stared out the passenger side
window.
"Around
nine, I think. Why?" He tapped the steering wheel impatiently as he waited
for the traffic signal to change.
"Do
we have time to go by the arena? I have a pass...it'll just be for a few
minutes. I promise," she sounded like a little girl asking her parents for
a pony.
Mac
swallowed hard. "Sure..."
********************************
The
noise from the arena was deafening. They could hear the screaming girls long
before they ever made their way into the stadium.
"You
want to go backstage or what?" Mac yelled close to her ear so she could
hear him above the din. She shook her head no.
"I'll
be right back!" she yelled. He watched her slip credentials around her
neck and walk to a nearby employee. As was her gracious style, she smiled and
laid a gentle hand on the man's arm. He returned the smile and they spoke for a
moment and then he led her down the tunnel toward the stadium floor.
When
they reached the end of the tunnel, she stopped. The brightly-lit stage was no
more than one hundred feet away. The Boys were halfway through "The
One." As they moved around the stage, she watched Kevin and the Boys doing
what they loved so much.
Jeanie
stood at the tunnel entrance, resting her hand against the concrete wall,
trying desperately one last time to fill her every sense with what was
happening all around her. She watched and listened and loved Kevin...once more
from the edges of his heart.
Nick
caught sight of her and smiled. He moved over to Kevin, grabbed his shoulder
and pointed toward the tunnel, still singing.
Kevin
fought to see through the blazing white lights to focus in on what it was that
Nick was so adamant he see. That's when he saw her. A tiny blonde woman dressed
in a denim maternity jumper over a little white tee shirt. A laminated pass
dangled from a cord around her neck.
Realizing
Kevin had discovered her, Jeanie bravely smiled. She touched her fingers to her
lips and mouthed, "I love you."
Then
she turned...and walked away.