Chapter 4

Even though he wasn't really cold, Kevin pulled his leather jacket a little tighter around him. His every single movement was echoed ten-fold by the metal bleachers. He couldn't remember the last time he sat in these bleachers at the high school football field.

He started laughing, but his laughter quickly dissolved into lonely tears. He was a grown man with a home, friends, and a loving family. He was also famous and easily recognized. He had everything yet tonight, when he felt like his world was crumbling, he had no where to go. Where do you hide?

One more time, he'd let his temper get the better of him. Now, he wasn't sure how to get out of this mess. Even his own mother "laid the law" down to him before he left earlier in the evening. "You better have a good reason for taking this precious baby away from her mommy and you better tell me what's going on."

He didn't have a good reason for his actions. His defense was that he was angry. It was as if everything that happened since he and Jeanie had broken up came to the surface in the form of one spiteful, vindictive action that would forever change their lives. How could he be so stupid?

The last person in the world who would hurt Madi was Jeanie. Of all the people that worshipped his daughter, Jeanie was at the top of the list. He couldn't even come close to the bond that she and Madi shared. He prayed that his jealousy over their relationship hadn't somehow influenced what he'd done today.

He didn't know why Jeanie had the abortion. Logically, he knew it wasn't out of spite. She'd had so many chances to "get back" at him, but she never did. She loved him too much. She wouldn't have chosen abortion as a means to punish him. He knew that…

Kevin looked at the voice mail messages on his phone. There were twenty-three. A.J., Brian and a few from home. Some business, but mostly his friends and family.

The only one he'd call back would be Jeanie. He couldn't call until he figured out what to say...

* * *

"Hey, lil Sis," Lindsay knocked once and opened Jessie's bedroom door a little. "Wassup, girlfriend?"

Jess, dressed in cut-offs, a tee-shirt and barefoot stood defacing a poster of the Backstreet Boys that hung on her wall near her computer. Korn blared from the CD player.

"Hey, Linds…" She kept on doodling.

Lindsay started laughing when she saw what Jessie had done. "Oooh, nice job on Kevin…"

"He deserves it…"

"Yeah, you're right. Got another black marker?" She smiled and picked up a Marks-A-Lot and started in. "What do you think about a set of DD knockers on this one?"

Jessie started laughing. "Man-boobies. Cool, I can dig that…"

Lindsay went to work. They were both giggling and shrieking as they continued from poster to poster, picture to picture. Lindsay knew this was Jessie's way of dealing with her hurt and fears. She wouldn't stop her.

"Jeanie okay?" Jess finally asked.

"I dunno. I don't think so…" Lindsay put down the black marker. "You have any other colors?" Jess motioned to her desk.

Jess sat down on the floor. "Linds, this ain't right. Me and Jeanie and Madi and you…us girls, ya know? We're always together. Kev can't take Madi. I know I complain and give Jeanie a lot of shit, but I-I love them so much…" Jess finally broke down.

Lindsay sat down in the floor and put her arms around her. "I know…"

"I hate him…" she cried.

"NO, you don't. You hate what he did, sweetie."

"It's the same thing."

"NO, it's not. It's going to work out. Kev and Jeanie have gone through too much. It has to work out." There was a tap on the door.

"Hey, it's me…" A.J. opened the door. "'Zis all girlie stuff or can I come in?" He sat down on the other side of Jess on the floor. "How ya' doin Blondie?"

Jess smiled. She loved it when A.J. called her Blondie. Lindsay grinned, "She's doing great! Whatcha think?" She motioned to Jessie's altered BSB posters.

"Whoa, holy shit!" A.J. started laughing and got up to inspect their artwork. "Dayum, girls are mean!" Jess and Linds started laughing. "I'm kinda jealous tho. Kev has more doodles on him than I do!"

"You want boobies?" Jess hopped up, ready to go to work on a picture of A.J.

"NO! I mean, yeah, but I got a set…" he raised his eyebrows toward Lindsay and smiled seductively.

Jess watched Linds and A.J. flirting with each other. She smiled,"Geez, you guys get a room…you're making me sick…"

"Cool…let's go!" A.J. took Lindsay's hand and helped her up. They both grabbed Jessie for a three-way group hug. "It's gonna work out, Blondie." A.J. kissed her on the forehead, "it's gonna work out…"

* * *

Nick sat in the driveway for at least twenty minutes. He needed time to cry and get it all out. This wasn't supposed to happen. All he'd wanted was for Kevin to leave. He never dreamed that he'd take Madison with him.

He couldn't imagine how Jeanie must feel right now. She loved Madi so much. During the entire flight back to Texas, he relived over and over all the precious memories he had of Madi and Jeanie and him. Giving Madi a bath, feeding her. Dancing. She loved it when Nick would pick her up and dance around with her. A warm afternoon spent at the Ft. Worth Zoo. Nick bought special food to feed the seals and Madi ate it. Jeanie was hysterical until poison control and the veterinarians at the zoo assured her that it wouldn't make Madi sick. It could possibly give her diarrhea for a day or two, but that was all. Ever since then, Jeanie and Nick would burst into laughter every time Madi would clap her hands or play with her big red ball. Jeanie used to threaten Nick that she would beat his ass if Madison started trying to balance objects on her nose. Of course, she would always follow her mock threat with a kiss.

"What have I done?" he whispered to himself as he crawled from the rental car and headed toward the house.

* * *

A.J. was checking the alarms before they called it a night. They needed to get some sleep. Tomorrow, he'd try and reach Kevin again. Linds would call Megan Woods out in Los Angeles and Mac. It would be another hard day, no doubt. He was stunned to see Nick coming up the walk.

"Hey man, what are you doing here?"

"Brian called me. He said somethin musta happened cause Kev left and took Madi. Where's Jeanie?" Nick set his duffle bag down in the foyer.

A.J. knew the last thing Kevin or Jeanie needed was Nick butting in. He also knew the special relationship Jeanie and Nick shared. The four of them: A.J. and Lindsay, Nick and Jeanie had spent a lot of time together in Kev's absence. They'd vacationed together and partied together. He knew that Nick worshipped the ground Jeanie Kirkpatrick walked on. Of course, Nick would come…

"In Madi's room probably. She's been in there most of the day…"

* * *

Nick's hands were shaking as he turned the doorknob. He slowly opened the nursery door. Jeanie remained sitting in the rocker. The only light in the room was the revolving lamp with the star cut outs. She looked as beautiful as he remembered. Gentle hues of gold played off her blonde hair giving almost a halo-effect as she sat silhouetted against a backdrop of a thousand tiny stars magically swirling around her on the ceiling and walls. She never looked up.

He quietly closed the door behind him and tiptoed over to her. As he gently stroked her hair, she closed her eyes. Still, no words were exchanged.

Nick knelt down and gingerly pried "Boo" from her clutch and laid the teddy bear down by her feet. He didn't know what to say.

Still kneeling in front of her, he laid his head down in her lap. She bent over and kissed the back of his head and cradled him.

"I love you…" he whispered. "I love you…"

< Edges Of Your Heart >