Nothing At All

By: Foxy Lady

Justin didn't even know when it had begun. This utter fascination he had with JC's hair. When he had started to grow it out a couple of years ago, he had begun to feel this urge to run his fingers through it, but he held himself back. He knew if did that the other guys would start to look at him funny. JC probably would have giggled that little giggle that he has and not had a second thought. He had done pretty much the same to Justin when he had been younger and had a head full of curls. No one looked at JC funny then though cause back then Justin had been the baby of the group and he was missing home and his family. Being on the road at such a young age had never been easy for anyone, but try doing it when you were barely fifteen and in a strange place. In a totally different country on the other side if the planet.

That was then and this is now and if he suddenly started running his fingers through his best friend's hair, looks and whispers would be exchanged, so he resisted the temptation. Resisted all through Pop Odyssey and all through Celebrity. Even though the urge had been getting stronger then. After Celebrity had ended and they all had parted ways to go on break or follow other pursuits, the urge had eased cause he wasn't around JC all the time. Didn't see him on the tour bus or at the venue. Didn't know he was just across the hall at the hotel. With the hiatus, he had to make a conscious effort to see his best friend. Mostly they played a never-ending cycle of phone tag. With messages left on each other's voice mail every few days promising to try again soon when things slowed down.

Instead of things slowing down though they just seemed to speed up. With him being in the studio working on the album and then locking himself up at the house to deal with the whole Britney mess. Of course that didn't last long. Soon he was out partying it up. Reportedly being seen in one compromising position or another with the likes of Janet, Christina, and Alyssa. The messages from JC got fewer and farer between. Instead of sounding happy and wanting to talk to his best friend, the messages were more concerned. He could tell JC was getting worried about his friend.

By the time JC's birthday rolled around he knew if didn't make an appearance at the party that JC would definitely have something to say about it. So he made an appearance, and their JC was with a drink in hand, a beard covering his face with a cap covering his head, his hair pulled back. He looked different. The urge that night had been to rip the cap off of his head and to pull the hair out of the ponytail it had been put in. The beard had to go, but other than that the night had been nice. They had drank and laughed, and it was almost like no time had passed at all.

After the party when they had gone back to JC's place and sat on his couch both to drunk to make it upstairs to bed. Justin smiled a little as JC curled up against him, laying his head on his shoulder. JC was almost to the point of being passed out but not quite from the sound of his breathing. Justin sighed softly, looking down at his friend, reaching up and finally pulling the cap off since it had started to almost fall off anyway. Setting it down on the back of the couch, he wrapped an arm around his almost asleep friend, rubbing his arm slightly.

He had no idea what he was doing. He should be sitting here just as passed out as JC was, but his eyes were open and he was wide-awake. He could feel the effects of the alcohol he had consumed that night start to wear off. Biting his lip, he looked down again at his friend. His hair matted down where the cap he had just been wearing had covered it. Sighing softly, he lifted his hand and ran his fingers through it without even realizing he was doing it. When the realization of what he had just done came to him and he could see JC begin to stir, he pulled his hand back, letting it drop back down to JC's arm.

JC looked up, mumbling sleepily, “Why'd you stop?"

Justin sighed and bit his lip. He didn't know how to answer his friend or if he was even capable of answering him. Instead he just shrugged his shoulders slightly causing his friend to frown. Justin sighed and mumbled, "Didn't want to wake you up Jace."

JC's frown curved into an almost smile as he reached up to run his fingers through Justin's short curls causing him to sigh and lean into his friends touch. "Been awhile since I did that huh?" Justin didn't trust his voice so he just nodded. "You shaved all your hair off and I couldn't. Kind of missed doing it."

Justin looked at his friend with a smile on his face. "Really?"

JC laughed, nodding a little. "Yes. Really. I always enjoyed those moments." Sighing softly, JC dropped his hand back down to the couch. "Moments like this one actually. Just us. You and I. Together. Alone."

Justin bit his lip watching JC as he get a far off look in his eye. After a few silent moments, he whispered, "I miss those times too. It's always been us. You and I, ever since the MMC, always had this thing. I didn't exactly understand it, but it was always there." JC nodded, but didn't turn back to look at him so he continued. "The past months have been hard you know. I missed not seeing you. Not being able to just go down to your bunk on the bus or across the hall at the hotel. Every time I missed one of your calls I would beat myself up."

JC shook his head, sitting up slightly, turning towards Justin. "J, you can't beat yourself up over something that couldn't be helped. You've been busy. What with the entire studio time you've been putting in with the album and getting ready to film the video for the first single. I understand how crazy things can get when you're putting something like that together."

Justin nodded, biting his lip, his hand once again unconsciously running through his friend's hair. "I know I've been busy, but that doesn't mean I don't have time for you. I could always find some way to make time for you."

JC sighed, pulling away from Justin's hand. "Justin it's your life. You've got so many things happening right now, and it is only going to get busier before the year comes to an end. I know you're still my best friend and I know you still care for me. I'll still be around. I'm just a phone call away. Always."

Justin eyed his friend carefully. His hand itching to run once again through JC's hair, but he fought the urge. Just like he had been for months already. It had felt so right. Those brief few moments. His hand lifted but instead of going back to JC's head, it went lower curving against JC's cheek, brushing his thumb over the skin he felt there. He heard JC's breath catch as he leaned closer and pressed his lips against his. He hadn't even planned on doing it, but the moment their lips touched, it was yet another thing that felt so right. It felt too right causing Justin to pull back as if he had been burned. He started at his friend for a moment before pulling away even more.

JC licked his lips a little before opening his mouth to speak, his voice barely a whisper, "Justin ... you just kissed me."

Justin nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah ... uh ... sorry. I don't know why I just did that." Well he did, but that was unthinkable. He had just kissed his best friend, and it had felt good and right and unlike other kisses he had shared with others before. It had been brief, but it had been perfect, and that just couldn't be. JC was his best friend. He couldn't be more than that.

JC sighed, shaking his head. "Don't be sorry. Did it look like I was complaining any J?"

Justin shrugged, moving to sit up more. "No it didn't, but I shouldn't have." Running a hand through his hair, he looked over at the clock on the wall. " I should go. It's late, and I've got stuff to do in the morning, and.... yeah I should go." Getting up from the couch, he started walking to the door not even waiting for a response from JC. He knew if he turned to look at his friend now, he wouldn't leave so without another word spoken he walked to the door and out of the house. He didn't even hear his friend's softly spoken good-bye.

That was months ago. The album was now out, and tour plans and arrangements were in the works. He and JC had seen each other a few times since that night, but not as much as they had been even with the business of Justin's schedule. Awards shows, the unveiling of the wax figures, and now here they were at the Grammy's.

All of them together on a stage performing after almost a year. He had missed that. When all of them were on stage together it was something magical. Not that he didn't enjoy performing by himself. Something was just different when it was the five of them. Something that he couldn't quite explain. He just knew it was special.

And that is what that night was. Special. From the moment they arrived at the show until they moment they left the party. He could tell by the look in JC's eye that at some point that night he would get cornered. He had tried it the night of the wax figure unveiling and had been unsuccessful. By the look in his eye tonight, however, JC wouldn't give up.

So when they arrived back at the hotel and Justin went up to his room he just left the door open, knowing momentarily JC would be walking through it and he was right. Not even minutes later in came JC. Justin sighed, reaching into the mini-bar for something to drink. He took a sip from one of the bottles. Not even looking at what he had grabbed. "You don't need that Justin."

"No I don't. You're right. I don't need it JC, but right now I want it."

JC shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "What the hell is wrong with you Justin? You haven't talked to me really in months. Not since the night of my birthday party. So ... you kissed me that night. Big deal. Do you know how many times I wanted to kiss you, but I didn't? Too many to count, and you did it. Now you're running it from it."

"I'm not running JC."

JC sighed loudly, his voice raised slightly when he spoke, "The hell you're not Justin. It was just a kiss. What is so scary about that?"

Justin bit his lip, silent for a moment. "Because I wanted to do it again and again and again. I didn't want to stop kissing you, and that would change everything. You would go from being from my best friend to something more and I didn't know if I was ready for that. Didn't know if I was ready to accept what that meant about us, about me. So yes I guess you can say I ran. I ran scared. I ran from you. I ran from wanting to kiss you. I ran from wanting us to be more."

JC took a step forward, taking the bottle Justin held loosely in his grasp, setting it on the dresser, looking at his friend for a moment before leaning closer and pressing his lips to Justin's gently. When Justin started to pull away he reached for his hands to stop him. "Justin, don't run. I've wanted this. Wanted you for years, but you were with Britney. Then you weren't, and you were so hurt by what she had done, so I gave you time to heal. Then you kissed me and all thoughts of that flew out of my head until you ran and didn't talk to me for months. Justin ... just stop running. There is no reason to be scared. It's just me. It's just us."

Justin stood silent, his eyes fluttering shut as he took a deep breath. This was JC. His best friend. He wouldn't hurt him. He loved JC. Gasping softly, his eyes opened wide as the last thought went through his mind.

Brushing his thumb over the back of Justin's hand, JC spoke, "What is it, baby?"

"I just thought something to myself."

"What?"

This was JC. It will be all right. All he had to do was say it. "I love you JC." The smile that lit up JC's face was all Justin needed to see after he uttered those words. Cause yes this was JC. Justin sighed softly as he reached up to run his fingers through JC's hair. "I love doing this. Used to think about doing this for months, but held myself back."

Well now you don't have to do that cause now you can do it whenever you want. Nothing's stopping you."

Justin smiles as he kissed JC again briefly. "Nope. Nothing at all."

The End

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