Friends With Benefits

By Jen

"Don’t forget, you guys, we have to do inventory tomorrow." Your employees all groan at your announcement.

"Do we have to?" a small girl named Julie groans. You laugh and pat her on the back.

"Sorry, Jules," you say with a grin. "End of the month, we have to."

She sighs and turns back to her job of sizing the racks. "You’re a ball-breaker, _________," a loud blonde named Cindy comments.

"Yup, it’s a damn good thing you guys aren’t men, huh?" you reply, closing the drawer and looking up as you see a shiny black car pull up out front of your store. You eyes immediately soften as you recognize the car and you drop the entire bag of change that you’re holding.

"Shit," you mutter, leaning down behind the counter to pick it up.

"_________, your ride’s here," Jenna, a cute girl with brown, curly hair murmurs, staring at the door in anticipation.

"Yeah, your HOT ride!" Cindy comments, straightening her tight black mini-skirt. You wish she’d dress a little less.....easy. It was giving your store a reputation. You groan to yourself and attempt to gather all of the change until a loud knock on the counter jerks your head up.

"Hey there, beautiful," A pair of bright blue eyes looks down at you.

"Hi," you mumble, straightening back up to organize the dropped money.

"You ready?" You almost sigh when you look into Joe’s eyes as he speaks. Damn him for being so damn good looking.

"You’re not leaving are you, Joe?" Cindy purrs as she runs a long red nail down Joe’s arm. He grins back at her and gives her a sexy pout.

"Sorry...um...."

"Cindy," she reminds him, catching your eye. You try not to laugh as you shut the money in the safe.

"Cindy!" Joe shoots her that half-grin of his and he’s immediately forgiven. "Sorry, Cin, but we’ve got places to go, things to see, people to do...." She laughs merrily at Joe’s attempt at a joke.

"Well, I’m jealous," she teases.

"Cindy," you say hotly. "Could you go and close up the back?"

"Can’t Julie do it?" she whines, her eyes still stuck on Joe.

"No," you say, forceful enough to make her look at you. The look on your face is clearly telling her not to mess with you and she sighs loudly, heading for the back. Joe lets out a low whistle.

"Impressive," he tells you with a grin. You grab your purse off the counter.

"It’s my job," you reply. "Julie, can you make sure everything’s locked up?"

"Sure, get out of here," Jule says with a sly smile. "You kids have fun."

"Thanks, Julie!" Joe says, winking at her.

"Don’t you ever quit?" you ask, teasingly. Joe puts his hand on his chin and pretends to think about it.

"No," he says with a shrug . You chuckle lightly.

"Alright, hang on, I need to grab some stuff from the back."

"OK, I’ll be in the car," Joe calls, heading for the door. "See ya ladies!" A chorus of byes follows him out the door and you shake your head.

"Great, I’m gonna have to kick his big head through the door now," you comment to the girls.

"I’d do more than just kick him!" Cindy says with a sultry smile.

"I hear ya," Jenna adds with a sigh, looking at you in admiration as you pick up your things. "You are so lucky!"

"We’re just friends," you tell her, grabbing an outfit you had bought with your employee discount off the back rack.

"Sure you are," Cindy mutters. "And I’m the fucking Queen of Sheba."

"Cindy," Julie says, shaking her head. "Jealousy is a pathetic thing."

"Bye girls," you interrupt, holding back your laughter. "Be good."

"You too!" Julie says with a wink. You roll your eyes as you shut the door behind you.

"Let’s get out of here!" you tell Joe, slamming the door to his black Mercedes.

"Have a good day at work?" he teases, pulling out of the shopping center.

"Yeah, just thrilling," you mutter, flipping through the radio stations.

"Hey, leave that!" he yelps, suddenly grabbing your hand. You feel the same tingle that you always do when you touch and you pull away quickly, leaning back in your seat. Joe starts bobbing his head and singing along. "I know who I want to take me home..." You can’t help but grin as you listen. One of your joys in life is listening to Joe sing. "So," he says, cutting into your thoughts. "How’s manager life?"

"Stressful," you say with a laugh.

"Oh you love the power," he says, poking your arm.

"Yeah, so?" you shoot back, lighting up a cigarette. Joe laughs and pats your hand, sending another electric shot up your arm. "So, um..." you stammer, folding your hands in your lap. "What movie did you get us?" Every Monday was movie night for the two of you, as decided by Joe, not that you were complaining.

"Oh man!" Joe exclaims, getting an excited glint in his eyes. "I got the entire Indiana Jones trilogy!" He starts drumming the wheel and humming the theme. You laugh.

"Joe, I’ve seen those movies a million times!" you exclaim, reaching in the back seat to grab them.

"I know." Joe has an evil glint to his expression now and you catch his eyes, holding in your sigh. "Just don’t recite them, ok?" You think that you won’t be able to recite the lines if your mouth is busy.

"I won’t," you mumble, looking out the window at his huge house.

"Alright then, let’s get this show on the road!" Joe exclaims, running around the side of the car to open your door for you. "Ready?" you giggle.

"Yeah, let me just change, ok?" He looks you up and down as he opens his front door.

"Why? You look great." You swear that you hear sincerity in his voice, but you choose to ignore it.

"Comfort, my dear Joe, is a beautiful thing," you say, heading for one of the downstairs bathrooms.

"So are you," he mumbles, but you don’t hear him. The bathroom door is already closed. By the time you let your hair down, comb it out, remove a majority of your makeup, and change your clothes, Joe is already curled up on the couch, munching on a bowl of popcorn.

"Comfy?" you ask, plopping down next to him. He grins and holds the bowl out to you.

"Easy butter," he says, proudly and you giggle, grabbing a handful.

"Thank you," you say, crossing your legs Indian style and putting a pillow to hug in your lap. "OK, let’s start, we have 3 movies to watch!" Joe picks up the remote and pushes play, clapping his hands to shut off the lights before he plops his head onto your lap. You smell a mixture of his shampoo and Paco Raban. "Joe, why are you wearing cologne?" you ask, poking his head. He looks up at you and shrugs.

"I wanted to?" he says, making you wonder if he had a date that day. Your thoughts turn to the screen when the opening music begins and Joe shoots out of your lap, singing along to the exciting them and jumping up and down on the couch as if he’s riding a horse. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be the couch.

"Joe, must you put on a show everytime we watch a movie?" you ask with a giggle. "I don’t know what to watch, you or the screen." He pouts and lays back down in your lap.

"OK fine, just don’t appreciate my entertainment," he says.

"OK," you reply, leaning back on the couch and grinning. Throughout the first half of Temple of Doom, all you can do is stare at the back of Joe’s head, your fingers itching to run through his beautiful curls. They’re practically calling out to you, so you finally give in and begin playing with his hair, hearing his low sigh the second you touch his head. You continue to run your fingers through the girls, not even noticing the movie anymore.

"You’d better stop that," he finally mutters and you look to see that his eyes are half-closed.

"Why?" you ask.

"You know why." With that, he turns in your lap to face you, placing his hand on the back of your neck and pushing you down to his mouth for a deep kiss.

"Joe," you try to say, but his lips move to your ear and his tongue is darting into it.

"Hmmm?" he murmurs, the vibrations in your ear causing you to sigh.

"Nothing," you say, moving back to his mouth for another intense kiss. The two of you don’t even watch the rest of the first movie and by the time you notice the credits, he’s laying completely on top of you, your legs twined together and your shirt pushed up around your neck.

"Shit," he mutters, pulling himself up to put in the second tape.

"Why even bother with the movie, Joe?" you ask, pulling yourself into a sitting position and pulling your shirt down.

"What do you mean?" he asks, pressing play and moving back to the couch. A bundle of emotions are running through you as you look into his eyes, wanting to pull him back to you, but knowing you can’t.

"I MEAN that we shouldn’t bother wasting the electricity of putting in the movie when we’re not even going to watch it," you reply, trying to look angry. It doesn’t work, he still looks confused.

"OK, if that’s what you want." He starts to press stop on the remote, but you stop him.

"Joe, what I meant was that every time we have these little movie nights of ours, all we end up doing is making out on your couch."

"Yeah," he agrees with a grin. "It’s great." You shake your head.

"No, it’s not. Well, yes it is, but we can’t keep doing it, Joe." Joe sighs and leans back, obviously preparing himself for one of your chats.

"OK, please enlighten me," he mutters. "Why not?" What are you supposed to tell him? That it was great when it started, but if you kept it up, you were just going to get yourself hurt?

"Because it’s wrong," you state, hoping that you sound truthful.

"_________, there’s nothing wrong with this. I mean, we’ve talked about it, haven’t we? We’re attracted to each other, we enjoy doing this, so why not?" Joe is making some very good points, but still....

"Because we’re only friends," you point out, bringing up the obvious. He nods.

"I know, we’re great friends," he agrees. "We just have.....umm......"

"Benefits?" you add, almost spitting at the word.

"Yeah," Joe says, smiling. "Friends with benefits, that’s what we are. So what’s wrong with that?" How can you explain this to him?

"Joe, I’m sorry," you say, getting up with every intention of leaving this conversation. "I just can’t be your friend with benefits anymore." Joe’s face drops. If you didn’t know any better, you could have sworn that he looks hurt.

"Why not?" he asks, softly, tracing a finger up your arm. You shake your head, willing yourself not to cry.

"I’m sorry," you say, gathering your things. "I just can’t." With that, you rush out of the house and jump into your car, which you had left at Joe’s before you went to work. As soon as you shut the door, you promptly burst into tears. "Why am I getting myself so worked up over this?" you ask yourself, sniffing. Chuckling at your foolishness, you turn the key in the ignition only to have your car let out a sputter and then die. "No!" you cry, pumping the gas and trying again, but to no avail. You smack the steering wheel with both of your palms, muttering expletives as you climb back out into the Boston night.

Shivering, you reluctantly make your way back to Joe’s doorstep. You really don’t want to go back in there, but what are your alternatives? You sigh and knock at the door, wrapping your arms tightly around you. Standing there for what seems like forever, you finally hear somebody stumble to the door. Joe throws it open, his face a total mask of confusion when he sees you.

"What the..." he mutters, stumbling as he grabs ahold of the door.

"My car broke down," you tell him, poking your nose close to his face. "Joe, you’ve been drinking." He groans and opens the door to let you in.

"Sorry, Mom," he snaps. You turn to glare at him, your eye catching a shot glass and a half-empty bottle of Vodka.

"Damnit, Joe, it’s been 15 minutes, how many have you had?" You drop your purse on the counter and start to clean up the bar area.

"Like five," Joe mutters. "What do you care?" His face is etched in bitterness and you realize that you aren’t the only one who’s been overreacting.

"You know I do," you say, looking him in the eye. "Don’t you?" He quickly looks away and pulls his hand out from under yours.

"No," he says, simply, slipping off of the stool that he’s perched on. "I never did." Your eyes narrow as you catch the hidden meaning behind his comment.

"Fuck you," you snap, throwing the shot glass into the trash can so hard that it shatters. Joe laughs bitterly.

"No, we’re just friends," he mocks. The tone of his voice is so hateful that you feel tears stinging your eyes and you realize that you can’t hold back the words that are bubbling inside of you any longer.

"Joe, what the fuck do you want from me?" you yell, surprising him. Pushing the stool out of your way, you grab his collar and pull him to you, kissing him forcefully. "Is this what you want?" you growl, not letting go of his shirt. "Is this what it takes to be your friend, Joe? Because if it is, then I misjudged you." You try to pull him to you again, to somehow release a bit of the anger building in you, but he backs away, removing your hands from his shirt. When you finally life your eyes to meet his, he isn’t even bothering to conceal the hurt you caused.

"How can you say that?" he finally hisses, grabbing ahold of your shoulders. "Is that what you think, ________?" You shift your gaze to the ground and wrench yourself out of his grasp, not wanting to feel the inevitable effects of his touch.

"I don’t know what to think," you say, softly, turning to head for the front door, your hand moving to the spot where Joe had just kissed.

"Where are you going?" Joe asks, trying to hide the tremors that had reached his voice.

"I’ll be in the garden," you mumble, looking at him once before you close the door behind you. Watching you go, Joe sighs and runs a hand through his hair, wondering what the hell had gotten into him. Well, besides the Vodka.

"Sober up, McIntyre," he tells himself, moving to the window that overlooks the garden to make sure you’re there. You’re sitting on a stone bench, staring at a carnation that you’re holding, your arms propped on your legs. Joe has no idea how long he sits there watching you, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away. "It must be the alcohol," he mutters, shaking his head before he goes back to the kitchen to

make himself some coffee. He’s on his second cup when you walk in, but he doesn’t look up, so you take the seat across for him and fold your hands on the table, staring at him until he decides to talk to you.

"Coffee?" he finally asks, not looking up from his empty cup. You shake your head.

"So should we talk about this?" you ask, calmly. He shrugs.

"Sure?" You still have no idea what’s upset him so much, but you decide that you have to find out, no matter the cost.

"OK," you take a deep breath.. "So why are you so upset?"

"I’m not."

"Bullshit." You feel yourself becoming angry again until he gives you a little smile.

"You know me too well," he comments, finally looking at you.

"Yeah and you hate that, don’t you?" you ask, softly, knowing the answer.

"I guess I do," he realizes. "I mean, you take one look at me and you know what I’m thinking, it’s weird."

"That’s what friends are for," you mumble, looking down at your hands.

"Yeah," he says with a nod. "So why can’t I figure you out?" You chuckle at his question.

"Maybe you don’t know my as well as you think you do," you reply, realizing how true that really is.

"Yeah, so help me," he requests.

"Help you help me?" you tease. He grins at you.

"I just want to understand, _______."

"Well, tell me why you’re so upset," you say, reaching out to place your hand over his. He lets out a sigh and squeezed your hand back.

"I don’t know," he tells you, honestly.

"Seriously, Joe, are you this worked up just because I don’t want us to fool around any more? That’s ridiculous!"

"That’s not it," he says, his brows wrinkling in confusion. "Well, it’s disappointing and all, but..."

"But," you interrupt. "It’s not worth five shots of Vodka in 15 minutes, is it?" Joe lets out a sigh and leans back.

"Stop it with the Vodka," he mutters, folding his arms across his chest.

"Sorry," you say with a shrug, obviously not at all sorry.

"No you’re not." Joe smiles. You notice how much his eyes light up everytime he smiles and you have to make yourself look away, willing yourself no to think about how great it feels to kiss him. "So are you going to tell me why you had a sudden change of heart?" Great, he had to bring that up again.

"Why does it matter?" you challenge, not ready to tell him the truth.

"Because I just want to know," he begs. "Something must have triggered this." You raise your eyebrows a notch. Does he know?

"It’s just wrong," you say, shaking your head.

"________, we talked about this. Carpe diem, remember?" Yeah, you remember. You also remember going home after every movie night and crying yourself to sleep.

"Yeah," is what you say outloud. "Well, I guess I’ve changed."

"What’s changed?" What you can’t figure out is why these meaningless make out sessions seem to mean so much to Joe.

"It doesn’t matter, Joe!" you blurt out. "Look, if you really want to have one of your little friends with benefits, I’m sure there are plenty of women who would be more than willing..." You let your voice trail off as Joe contemplates your words. As a matter of fact, you sit there for like five minutes waiting for him to just say something.

"I don’t want anyone else," he finally says in a very soft, and somewhat surprised tone. You don’t bother to hide your look of shock.

"What?" you whisper, crossing your fingers under the table.

"Well!" Joe exclaims, throwing up his hands. "We had it worked out so perfectly!" Leave it to him to just go and botch it all up.

"Joe," you blurt out, pushing back your chair to stand up. "If I’m not happy with it, it’s obviously NOT perfect!" He has to think about that, too.

"I’m sorry," he says, softly. "I still don’t get it, but I’ll respect your decision."

"Thank you, Joe," you say with a sigh, sitting back down. "But is this going to come between us?"

"I don’t want it to," Joe answers, toying with his coffee cup. "But I really do want to understand all of this."

"Why?" you groan, wanting to just drop this whole thing.

"Because I want to know you as well as you know me." Joe’s voice drops a level and you feel your whole face soften. You know that he deserves a reasonable explanation, but do you have the guts?

"Joe," you say, softly, looking at the table. "I have no qualms about hooking up with people just for the fun of it." Oh, now he’s really confused, you can tell.

"So?" he asks, shaking his head.

"But there are...." You search for the right words to tell him what you’re thinking without really telling him. "There are rules that need to be followed in those kinds of relationships." There, you think.

That sounded good.

"Did I do something wrong?" Joe asks. Geez, could he BE more clueless?

"No, I did," you say, realizing that the time has come. "There has to be a mutual understanding, ya know?" He nods, silently encouraging you to go on. "It’s all good as long as you both know that it’s strictly a friend thing."

"Yeah," Joe cuts in. "We agreed to that."

"And back then, it was fine, Joe, but say one person starts to get so wrapped up in it...." You pause suddenly, taking a deep breath. "That they start having...other feelings..." There, you said it and even though you feel Joe’s eyes burning a hole in your head, you don’t look up.

"What are you saying, ______?" he practically whispers, not believing what he’s hearing. You sigh loudly and look at him in frustration.

"What do you THINK I’m saying?" you say, loudly. Oh yeah, completely clueless. He keeps staring at you, willing you to actually say the words that you really don’t want to say. Hell, you don’t even want to admit it to yourself.

"Well," Joe says, standing up. "It sounds like you’re trying to tell me that you have feelings for me." You stand up as well, not wanting to feel like he’s towering over you.

"It’s about time you figured it out!" Oh wow, did you just say that out loud? Joe’s face isn’t showing a reaction yet. He looks like he’s still absorbing the information, but you sink back into your chair in embarrassment, hiding your head in your hands, praying that he says something soon. When he doesn’t, you look up to see him staring at you in shock. "So," you decide to continue. "You can see why I can’t keep doing this, Joe. It’s killing me." You can’t believe how great it feels to get those words out, like a ton of bricks being lifted from your shoulders. He nods, blankly, an array of emotions flickering on his face.

"You’re serious?" he finally asks. You have to laugh at that.

"Yeah, Joe, I’m sorry to ruin your little plan, but I can’t help how I feel, ya know." All of the sudden, Joe shakes his head quickly and looks at you in complete confusion.

"I love you," he says, simply, but you don’t think you heard him right considering that confused expression that he’s still wearing.

"What?" you ask, standing again to try and see into his eyes, which always gives away what he’s thinking. He shakes his head again in bewilderment and looks right at you.

"I love you," he says. "Wow, I can’t believe it."

"Hey!" you say, smacking him on the arm. Suddenly, Joe starts laughing. It’s not a chuckle, either, the man is clutching his sides and roaring in laughter. "Great," you mumble. "He tells me he loves me and then starts laughing." This only makes him laugh harder and he has to move to the couch in the living room to calm down. You hand him a glass of water and and sit on the couch to wait so he can catch his breath. "Are you going to share your joke?" you ask softly, brushing a curl away from his face. He catches your eye and shakes his head, pulling you to him for a hug.

"I can’t believe what a horrible person I am," he says into your hair. "Forgive me?"

"We’ll see," you chuckle, pulling away. "But I don’t get it."

"You know when it hit me?"

"When what hit you?" Now it’s your turn to be confused.

"That I’m in love with you silly!" Oh, that.

"When?"

"When you were twisting your hands together trying to think of how you were going to tell me how you feel. Then, when you said it, I was so surprised that is was just FUNNY!" Joe chuckles again, his hands running up and down your arms.

"You didn’t know?" you ask, surprised. You really did think that he had guessed it.

"No way," he says, shaking his head. "I didn’t think I could be that lucky." His eyes are burning into yours. You just stare back, completely speechless. "So, about our little arrangement...." Joe says, his hand moving to cup your chin with the other one playing in your hair.

"Yeah?" you murmur, your mouth moving closer to his.

"It’s off. I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore." Now you can feel his breath on your lips.

"So what are we?" you whisper. Joe grins.

"BEST friends with BIG TIME benefits," he replies just before he lowers his lips to yours in a kiss that promises that and much more as time goes on.

The End

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