Forbidden Love

By: Kasey

" Chica, what time you planning on coming home tonight?" I sighed and rubbed my temples as the familiar voice filtered through the phone. I glanced at the clock on my desk and sighed again. Suz must have recognized my mood because she laughed softly," I take it not early again?"

" Suz, you know that I want to be there but Jordan wants me to stay late again tonight. There's some problems with this new act he's signed so we need to look over the paperwork. I want to be there but..."

" I know. Work calls. Ya'll need something to pay the rent on this place!" Suz said teasingly and I had to smile. No matter how I was feeling, Suz always made me smile. Both she and our other room mate, Chrissy, had that ability. When no one else could make me smile, they could.

" Chica, I'm sorry. Next dinner party I'll be there," I said.

" Promise?" Suz asked.

" Has I, as a chica, ever broken a promise to you yet?" I asked her teasingly and she laughed. Calling each other 'chica' had originated on an internet mailing list we had met through years ago.

" I think I'll leave that one alone girl. You tell Jordan not to keep you so late anymore, okay?"

" I'll do that. Give Donnie and Joe a kiss for me?" I asked her and she laughed.

" I'll try and talk Chrissy into doing that. You know she still hasn't really forgiven you for getting that job with Jordan," Suz teased and I giggled.

" Ah she will. She's got Joe now! Why would she want anyone else?" I asked and Suz laughed and hung up. I hung up more slowly and then sat staring at my computer screen. I wanted nothing more than to be at the dinner party Suz and Chrissy were holding tonight. But when Jordan had asked me to stay late, it had been very hard for me to refuse him. I was unable to refuse Jordan most anything. Over the two years I had worked for him, we had become very good friends, often times just spending most late nights talking . . . about his experiences as a New Kid and my life in Australia mainly. He had seemed surprised at the subtle differences in our cultures and had wanted to know more about the country of my birth and where I had lived up until I was 22. I had moved to Boston not long after my 22nd birthday and had moved in with Suz and Chrissy. For the first three years in Boston I had worked as a waitress, a shop assistant...you name it, I worked it. Until landing this job with Jordan, I had about twenty different jobs in the three years. But I was happy in this job...at least I had been, up until three months ago. I was supposed to be happy, enjoying my job, having fun...instead I was sitting here, worried to death that someone would find out. I bit my nail and flinched when I hit skin. I glanced at my worn nails and sighed. Damn it I had conquered this habit of biting my nails when I was nervous or worried. Five years I had taken care of my nails and they had grown to a very nice length and I took pride in them! Now they were bitten right down to the skin and they hurt constantly. A lot of things had changed with me in the last five years, ever since I had moved to Boston from Australia. I was the weight I had always wanted to be, I was confident, had plenty of friends, and I had the perfect man. The man who I had wanted to be with since I was 12 years old. He now owned his own studio, a dream he had achieved almost three years ago. Jordan was everything I had ever dreamed him to be - sweet, funny...just basically a wonderful person. That was why I had fallen in love with him. Not puppy love, or a school girl crush, but full blown love. I had thought that I had kept my feelings a secret from him, and from Suz and Chrissy. I had often felt guilty when they had asked me why I barely dated. I didn't want to tell them that I had fallen in love with my boss - again. I had made that mistake when I was 20, and I hadn't wanted to repeat the experience again. The first time had been painful and had ended in nothing but hate and heartbreak. If it was to happen a second time, it would destroy me. There were no ifs or buts about that. I wasn't a very strong person at times, but when it come to love and relationships, I was very weak and scared. So when I had fallen in love with Jordan, I had made sure my feelings had been kept a secret from everyone I knew. Until that fateful night, three months ago...

*****

" Kasey, can you come into my office? Bring a notepad and pen," I was interrupted from my typing by Jordan's voice through the intercom sitting on my desk. I quickly saved what I was doing and then entered

Jordan's office. As always the modest decorating of the interior surprised me. The only sign of his past career as a singer was the many gold records on the wall behind his desk, some from his New Kids days, some from his solo career.

" What can I do for you Jordan?" that had been the first mistake I had made the first day I had started at this job. I had called him Mr. Knight. He had firmly told me to call him Jordan, regardless of who was in the room.

" I need you to take a letter and get it typed up and sent out tomorrow morning," he said, not looking up from his desk. I sat down in the chair opposite his desk and poised my pen above the notepad, ready for to start taking down his words. When he didn't start speaking right away, I looked up and found him staring at me strangely.

" Is something wrong?" I asked him. He smiled and shook his head.

" Just wondering why you stay back late at night. I know you have roommates to go home to. But you always stay back whenever I ask," he said," Why is that?"

" I've always been like that. In every job I always stay back if asked," I said and he nodded, twirling the pen around between two fingers.

" Do you like this job?" he asked. I glanced at him in concern. Why was he acting so strangely? Normally he dictated what he wanted me to type and then chatted with me about my plans for that night of his own.

" I love this job Jordan. I've never had this much fun in a job before," I said and he smiled a little before standing up and walking around his desk to sit on the desk directly in front of me.

" How do you feel about me?" he asked softly, leaning over towards me. I could smell his aftershave and my heart turned over. This man was asking me how I felt about him? What did he want to know? Whether I thought he was a good friend...or whether I felt something more for him?

" I like you. I'm happy that you're my friend," I said evasively. Jordan shook his head and squatted down in front of me. He put a hand on my thigh and started rubbing it in slow circular motions.

" I'm not talking about a friendship Kasey. I've been noticing that my feelings for you have been changing," he said softly and I bit my lip. What could he mean?," I think I'm falling in love with you." I stared at him in surprise. Falling in love with me? How could that be possible?

" I-I don't know what to say Jordan," I stumbled over my words.

" How about telling me how you feel about me?" he asked, moving his hand a little further up my thigh. I bit my lip again as he moved his hand underneath my skirt and rested his hand just at the top of my thigh.

" What do you want to hear Jordan?"

" Do you at least feel the same way about me?" he asked and I stared at him helplessly.

" Jordan, you're a married man. How am I supposed to feel about you?"

*****

That was my problem. I was in love, and sleeping with, a married man. I had always sworn to myself that I would never even have a friendship with a married man, and here I was, having an affair with one. My one and only golden rule broken. How was I supposed to tell anyone about this? Sure, Jordan claimed that his marriage was over, that he was only staying because his wife needed him. I was so in love with him that I was willing to overlook that. What the hell was I doing? I buried my head in my hands and sighed. What was I going to do now?

*****

" Kasey? Are you all right?" I looked up startled at the sound of the woman's voice. I blushed bright red when I saw who it was.

" Lisa! I'm sorry. I'm just not too with it today," I said quietly and she laughed, a soft feminine laugh. I had to admit that she was a very beautiful woman, with her long blonde hair and green catlike eyes. She and Jordan made a very striking couple. She was very feminine, very delicate - so suited to Jordan. She was about five two so she was shorter than him so when they stood together, he looked to be protecting her, whereas at my height, five seven, I was nearer to his height. They had married shortly after I moved to Boston because I remembered the wedding pictures in the paper.

" Is Jordan in?" she asked and I nodded. What was she doing here now? Jordan hadn't mentioned Lisa coming here. He had asked me to stay back and I knew why. This time alone, in his office was the only time we ever got alone. It made me feel cheap and dishonest but I was desperate to spend time with him, so I had to take what I could.

" Go on in Lisa," I said and she nodded her thanks and entered his office. I caught a quick glance of Jordan's surprised face before she shut the door and instantly an image of the two of them kissing came to my mind.

" Damn it all to hell," I muttered under my breath. Lisa was a nice woman. We had even become friends, kind of anyway. Why was I doing this to her? To me? To Jordan? I grabbed my bag and walked over to Jordan's door. Knocking loudly on it, I waited until I heard his muffled 'Come in' before I entered.

" Kasey, what is it?" he asked calmly. I could see the lipstick smudges on his lips and instantly felt jealous.

" Jordan, since Lisa is here, I think I'll go home now," I said. I watched his eyes and saw curiosity enter them but his face remained perfectly controlled.

" Okay. Lisa honey, I'll just walk Kasey to her car and then I'll be back okay?" he asked his wife and she nodded as my heart sank. I knew what he would do now. He'd ask me to meet him at a hotel later on that night, after Lisa had fallen asleep. Well damn it, I wasn't going to do it! For once in this mess, I was going to put my foot down. He'd always dictated when and where we would meet...tonight he was going to be disappointed. He was silent until we had left the outer foyer before speaking," Kasey, I'll meet you at nine tonight..."

" I can't do that Jordan," I said abruptly. Her stopped and stared at me in surprise.

" Why not?" he asked me softly, gripping my upper arms and rubbing his thumbs over my skin.

" I have a dinner party to attend tonight. My room mates are having one and for once in my life, I'm going to be a friend to them and show up," I said and turned away from him. I could feel his surprise and anger radiating from him but I didn't care. I was sick of receiving his seconds.

" But I thought we were going to spend tonight together. You never mentioned this dinner party before when I asked you to stay late," he said quietly and I shrugged.

" Lisa's here now. Spend some time with your wife Jordan," I said and walked away from him. I could feel his eyes on me all the way to my car.

*****

Twenty minutes later I pulled into the driveway of the house I shared with Chrissy and Suz. Donnie and Joe's cars were parked out on the street and I could hear laughter floating out the open windows. I wearily walked up the path and inside the house. Suz was the first to notice me and she instantly got to her feet and hurried over to me.

" Kase? You said that you wouldn't be home until late," she said and I nodded, dropping my bag onto the floor behind the lounge chair.

" Lisa arrived so Jordan sent me home," I said, not looking her in the eye.

" Are you all right? Do you want something to drink?" now Chrissy was by my side. I looked up at my friends and smiled weakly.

" I think I'll just go into my room and read for a little while, if that's okay?" Chrissy and Suz shared a look and I knew I was in trouble.

" Joe, Donnie, if you'll excuse us, we need to talk to our roomie here," Suz said, steering me into my room. She locked the door and sat me down on the bed. She and Chrissy stood in front of me, worried but determined expressions on their faces.

" All right chica, spill it," Chrissy said and I sighed, rubbing my hand over my face.

" What is there to spill? Jordan's wife arrived so he sent me home. I'm assuming that they're going out to dinner or something. I was no longer needed. No more to that," I said and Suz snorted a little.

" If we were to believe that, we'd have to be pretty damn stupid. What's really wrong? You've been melancholy for weeks now. You don't smile, you don't laugh, you barely eat, you've been depressed constantly. What the hell is wrong with you?" Suz asked and I laughed a little at her bluntness. Some people would coddle me into telling them what was wrong. Not Suz. She went straight to the point.

" I wish I could tell you. I really do. But it's so complicated. And I just can't find the words to tell you both," I said. Chrissy sat down beside me and placed a hand on my arm.

" You know that we won't judge you. That's what being friends is all about. We're here for you to talk to, to cry on and to just be open and honest with. Whatever is wrong Kasey, there isn't going to be any judgement," she said and I nodded, tears pooling in my eyes.

" I know that. I just can't tell anyone. Its too painful," I said. Suz was about to say something when there was a knock at my door. She went over to the door and opened it. Donnie stood at the entrance, a perplexed look on his face.

" D? What is it?" Suz asked. Donnie ran a hand through his hair and looked directly at me. My heart plummeted to my stomach.

" Jordan's here. He wants to talk to you Kasey. And he doesn't look like himself," Donnie said and I nodded. I could feel Suz and Chirssy looking at me strangely but I couldn't speak. I got up off the bed and walked slowly out to the lounge room, where Jordan and Joe were standing together, a drink in each of their hands. As soon as I entered the room though, Joe excused himself and disappeared into the kitchen. I faced Jordan nervously. What was he going to say?

*****

" Jordan why aren't you with Lisa?" I asked him. I must have surprised him because he shot me a startled glance before drinking the rest of his drink.

" Lisa only came to see me because she wanted some money. She and her friends are going to New York for the weekend. She's on her way to New York as we speak. I needed to talk to you so I came over," he said. I eyed him warily.

" What do you want to talk about? If you haven't noticed, there's a dinner party in progress," I said and he shrugged nonchalantly.

" When I arrived, Donnie and Joe were out here arguing about the baseball and you were holed up in your room with your room mates. Great dinner party," he said sarcastically.

" I'll thank you not to slur my friends," I said defensively. He glanced at me and shrugged again.

" I'm not here to talk about your friends. I'm here to talk to you about us."

" What 'us' Jordan? I'm your secretary and you're my boss. The only unusual thing about this is that I'm sleeping with you while wife is sitting at home waiting for you," I said bitterly.

" You think I like this situation? You think that I like lying to my wife about why I stay so late at work? She thinks I'm having financial problems! She's so worried about me becoming poor that she's run off to her lawyer to find out where she stands if she divorces me now before I go bankrupt. That's not a wife I want Kasey!" Jordan said angrily.

" You aren't having financial problems," I said stupidly and he sighed.

" I know that! But I had to tell her something! How else could I explain the late nights or all nighters I've been pulling lately. I told her that the business is failing and I need to spend more time sorting out the problems. I have never lied to Lisa before. That was the best I could think of," he said.

" Maybe you should have tried harder. Using financial problems to explain your late nights was pretty thoughtless. Especially if Lisa plans on divorcing you," I said.

" If she hadn't started the divorce proceedings, I would have Kasey. I don't want to be with her anymore. I want to be with you. I don't love Lisa. I don't think I ever have. I love you. Surely you knew that?" he asked, walking slowly towards me, hands out, palms up, a beseeching look on his face. I could feel my resolve threatening to crumble.

" I don't believe you," I said quietly, trying to evade his arms.

" Will this prove it to you?" he asked, flicking open a piece of paper. I took it off him, carefully avoiding his hand and read the contents quickly.

" Then the divorce is happening?" I asked once I had finished reading the paper. He nodded and took the paper back and folded it up. He placed a hand on my arm and pulled me towards him.

" Its true. I just need to settle the financial deal and then wait for the divorce to come through," he said, a slight smile on my face. I stared at him, not daring to believe him. Could this be true? Would I really get a chance to be with him?

*****

" I'll see you at the office tomorrow Kasey?" Jordan asked a couple of hours later. He had stayed for dinner and for after dinner drinks and had decided to leave with Donnie and Joe. I had a feeling that they were planning on going out for a boy's night out.

" Nine am sharp," I said brightly and he nodded. He stared into my eyes for a little while then look away and grabbed Joe by the neck and started ruffling his hair. Donnie started hitting Joe and all the way to their cars, we could hear Joe protesting their rough treatment. I couldn't believe that these men, men in their thirties were still behaving like the teenagers they had once been. Chrissy and Suz chuckled when Donnie and Jordan picked Joe up and roughly threw him into the back of Donnie's car. I stood watching them and when Jordan lifted his hand in a tiny wave, I waved back. Then I turned and went back inside. Chrissy and Suz followed and we all sat down in the lounge room. Chrissy was sprawled on the armchair, Suz on the lounge and I was stretched out on the carpeted floor. I rested my head on my hands and closed my eyes.

" All right Kasey. Now its time to tell us what is going on between you and Jordan," the silence was broken by Chrissy's curious voice. I jerked my head up and stared at her and Suz in horror.

" What do you mean?" I asked her quietly. Suz got up off the chair and sat down in front of me.

" Please don't insult our intelligence. I'm not blind, and nor is Chrissy. Even Donnie mentioned something to me in the kitchen. So what's going on?" Suz asked and I dropped my head onto my arms again. How had they seen my feelings? How had they seen his feelings?

" Guys, please, not tonight?" I asked them, begging them.

" Kase, are you in love with him?" Chrissy asked softly and I stared at her for a long time.

*****

" Chirssy, that's not exactly something I want to answer," I said, trying to get up off the floor. But Suz placed a hand on my leg to stop me.

" You owe us your honesty. Our friendship is all about honesty. Tell us the truth Kasey," Suz said quietly and I sighed.

" I can't help what I feel Suz. I can't help being in love with him," I said softly and there was a deafening silence. I was too afraid to look up at them, afraid of what I would see in their eyes, on their faces. Then Chrissy sighed.

" He's a married man Kasey," she said and I nodded.

" Don't you think I know that? He's been married longer than I've known him. And I don't get involved with married men. Never. But there's something about Jordan that makes me forget about the proper way to behave," I said.

" Does he feel the same way?"

" He told me he did but I'm afraid that he's not thinking straight after what's happening with Lisa," I said and Chrissy and Suz looked at each other, worry on their faces.

" What do you mean, what's happening with Lisa? They looked happy at dinner last night," Chrissy said.

" He filed for a divorce today. I saw the papers. But I don't know whether or not he means what he says. I'm afraid that if I let myself believe that I'll have a chance with him, I'll be disappointed when he changes his mind. I just don't know how to feel and react around him anymore," I said, burying my face in my arms.

" I can't believe that he would be the type of man to cheat. And I cant believe that you're the type of woman who would knowingly break up a marriage," Suz said, curiosity in her voice.

" I never expected it to go this far. I tried to keep my feelings a secret but when he told me how he felt, I just lost all my sensibility. I know that I should stop this. I know that I should walk away from him but I love him. I only have him for a little time. I need that, I need him," I said.

" But he's a married man chica."

" And I'm in love with said married man!"

" Damn it Kasey. Give him up. If Lisa finds out, you will be in very big trouble. She can be very vindictive when she wants to be and I know she's damn possessive about Jordan," Suz said and Kasey flinched.

" Suz, please. Don't say that. I know what Lisa is like. I know what she would do to me, to Jordan. But surely you understand why I have to stay with him?" I asked them, looking at them. My heart sank when I saw no approval.

" I think you need to think this out. Jordan is married and he should never have led you on in the first place. Its as much his fault as yours. You need to fix this Kasey. Not tomorrow, not next week. Now. This minute. You have to call Jordan and tell him its over," Chrissy said and I sighed.

" I can't do that."

" Please. Chica, we don't want to see you get hurt," Suz said.

" What about our child then? Do you want it to be hurt by me leaving Jordan?" I asked them, and I could immediately sense their shock.

*****

" Jordan, we need to talk." Suz looked at the surprise on Jordan's face when he saw her standing outside his house.

" Damn it Suz, you can't be here! Lisa doesn't know that I see you!" Jordan said, coming out onto the patio and shutting the door behind him.

" Too bad. We need to talk. Now," Suz said, a little angry. This was the man that Kasey was having a baby with?

" What about? If this is about me and Kasey..."

" It is about you and Kasey. You need to stop seeing her. Stop screwing around with her. You may not realize this but you are hurting her!" Suz said, slamming her hand against the house.

" Suz, I love her. You may not want to accept that but I do," Jordan said, not meeting her eyes.

" I don't believe you."

" You don't have to. As long as Kasey does, then nothing else matters," he said and Suz handed him a piece of paper, which he unfolded and read quickly," Is this for real?" his eyes were full of hurt anger.

" She decided to take a holiday. Chrissy and I are taking her away for a couple of weeks. She needs to think Jordan. Without you around," Suz said, hating for doing this to him but knowing that she had to.

" Damn it! She never would have left by herself! What the hell did you say to her?" he asked angrily.

" I said nothing. Kasey is hurting Jordan. She's very confused and she needs her friends at the moment. Don't make this any harder for her. She didn't want to go but she needs to be away from you for a little while to get her head together. Don't try to find is. Donnie and Joe know where we are going but there is no way on earth they will tell you. Just let her do her thinking Jordan. This will give you some time as well, to think over what you plan on doing. Living here with Lisa now that you've filed for divorce isn't going to be much help to Kasey."

" Tell me something Suz. Does she love me?"

" Why is that important to you?"

" Because nothing is worth it if she no longer loves me," he said quietly.

*****

" Did he ask after me?" I asked Suz on the drive to the holiday cabin Donnie owned. She had come back from her visit with Jordan all quiet and had thrown me more than one curious glance. Suz had then dragged Chrissy into the kitchen and when they had come out, both of them were looking very funny at me. It was enough to make me paranoid!

" He did."

" Well?"

" What?" Suz asked evasively.

" Damn it chica you know what! What did he say to you about me? What was his reaction when you gave him my note? What did he say damn it!" I asked her.

" Hey chica, cool that temper. Its not good for the baby ya know," Suz said mildly and I ground my teeth in frustration.

" What the hell did he say? Did he even ask about me or why I decided to go away?" I asked her and Suz sighed.

" Let's talk about this when we get to the cabin okay?" Chrissy interjected.

" No. I want to talk about it now!" I demanded. Chrissy pulled the car over and turned around to face me.

" Damn it Kasey I am trying to drive here and I cant do that while you're arguing with Suz! Wait until we get to the cabin, please?" Chrissy softened her words with a pleading tone and I nodded, albeit grudgingly. The rest of the drive was very quiet, except for the soft sound of the music Chrissy was playing on the car stereo. But once Chrissy had negotiated the rough driveway that led to Donnie's secluded cabin and we had all got out of the car, I turned to Suz.

" Tell me now."

" You just can't wait until we unpack?" Suz asked but she knew the answer before I even said it," All right. He asked me if you still loved him. He said that nothing is worth it if you don't love him."

" He said that and you still dragged my ass hours away from him? What the hell must he think of me now? He needs me there, with him! If Lisa finds out about us..." I said and Chrissy placed a soothing hand on my arm.

" Calm down Kase. Please. The last thing you need to do is get all stressed out. Think of the baby if you wont do it for yourself," she said. I shook her hand off and walked away from them, towards the lake, taking deep, soothing breaths as I did so. I walked out along the jetty and sat down on the edge of it, letting my feet dangle over the edge. The sun was setting and it looked really beautiful. The only thing that would make this more beautiful was being here with Jordan. He had never been able to take me to his cabin, always opting to take Lisa. And I had understood that decision. I was hoping that once the divorce became legal, he would take me there and we could spend some time together.

" Kasey you wanna come inside now?" my thoughts were interrupted as Suz came up behind me.

" Sit down Suz."

" Chrissy is getting..." she sighed when she saw the expression on my face. I was a damn stubborn person a lot of the times and never gave in unless I got my way.

" Chrissy is not going to be happy if we're late," she mumbled as she sat down next to me," What do you want to talk about?"

" Did you tell Jordan about the baby?" I asked her after several minutes.

" Damn do you think I'd betray you like that? I would never do that. It's up to you to tell him. I thought you knew me better than that," Suz said and I sighed. I hadn't meant to hurt her.

" I'm sorry Chica. He never even asked?"

" Is there any chance he'd know or even suspect?" she asked. I shrugged.

" I haven't been feeling the best the last few mornings. I caught him glancing at me like he knew something but with Jordan I can never tell. He gets these expressions on his face that I can never interpret," I said and Suz laughed.

" It must be a trait that all men have because Donnie is the exact same way. And I always know that the thought it about me. He's perplexed by me, you and Chrissy and why we call each other chica," she said.

" Donnie gets perplexed easily Suz," I said cheekily and she hit me lightly on the arm.

" Uh-ah chica. No laying into the men," she said.

" It just worries me when he looks at me but doesn't say anything. If he got this divorce because he thinks I'm pregnant..." I trailed off and Suz looked thoughtful.

" You think he's that type of man?"

" Hell, I never expected him to cheat on his wife either! How am I supposed to say that he's not the type to divorce his wife because his mistress is pregnant?"

" Hey chicas! I thought you two had deserted me. Wouldn't you rather come inside and finish this conversation?" Chrissy asked from behind us. She held out her hands to help us both up and we walked back to the cabin together.

*****

" So she thinks he instigated the divorce because he thinks she's pregnant?" I knew that Suz and Chrissy thought I couldn't hear them. That's why they weren't speaking softly.

" Yeah. I certainly hope he didn't. I never thought he would but he is with two women at once so who knows what he's really thinking?" Suz said.

" She'll be devastated if he did file for divorce for that reason. I don't think she's strong enough to survive that sort of heartbreak."

" Maybe we can call the guys and get them to do some subtle digging with Jordan?"

" Damn it no!" I said angrily, sitting up and surprising them both.

" Kasey, we thought you were sleeping," Chrissy said guiltily.

" Obviously or you wouldn't have spoken so loud and started to involved yourself where I don't want you to go! If Jordan filed for divorce because he thinks I'm pregnant, then he's going to be in for a rude shock when I tell him I don't want him to go ahead with it, that I can and will raise this baby by myself!" I said.

" Maybe you should ask him first, before you go saying things like that," Suz said.

" Well that's a bit bloody hard, considering I got dragged away from Boston when I didn't want to!" I said stiffly to her.

" Kasey, we know you're upset but there's no reason to take this out on Suz," Chrissy said calmly.

" Damn it! It's the goddess of relationships! Now she's telling me how to run my life! Why cant you two just concentrate on your love lives rather than interfering in mine!" I said angrily and stormed into the bedroom I was using, slamming the door hard enough to shake the walls.

*****

The next morning, Suz went to wake Kasey but found her bed empty.

" Well at least she unlocked the door," Suz mumbled as she headed through the cabin and out onto the porch. Kasey hadn't let them inside her room last night, refusing to even think about talking to them.

" Suz? You seen Kasey?" Chrissy appeared behind Suz.

" I'm looking for her now. The cars still here so she didn't take off on us overnight. But she's not out on the jetty. Any idea where she might have gone?"

" Nope. Maybe she just went for a walk. You know Kasey. It takes her awhile to get over her anger. And she was damn mad last night," Chrissy said wryly and Suz laughed.

" Her child is gonna have one hell of a temper on it, that's for sure," Suz said as she glanced around once more before going back inside. Kasey hadn't even eaten breakfast - not that she did eat breakfast that often - and there was no sign of coffee being made. Where the hell was she?

" I hope she didn't go wandering too far from the cabin. I just called Joe and he said Jordan spent the night on his lounge. Jordan told Lisa about the divorce," Chrissy said a little while later as they sat at the table and each drank a cup of coffee.

" Great. Did she ask why?" Suz asked.

" Joe didn't say. All he would say is that if we don't bring Kasey back asap, he's going to strangle Jordan with his bare hands. Apparently all night Jordan kept bugging Joe about where we were," Chrissy said and Suz smiled.

" At least he didn't go to Donnie's. He would a kicked him out at the first whine," she said and Chrissy laughed. They both looked up at the sound of the door opening and closing. Within minutes, Kasey entered the kitchen, looking very tired and apologetic.

" I'm sorry about last night," she said softly as she sat down next to Suz.

" Hun, we're only worried about you because you're our friend. If we didn't care, we wouldn't have dragged you out here to give you some time to think!" Suz said.

" I know. But you know what I'm like Suz!" Kasey said and Suz sighed.

" All too well chica. So, made any decisions?" she asked and Kasey nodded slowly.

" Some. But a lot is still left up in the air. I just don't know what to tell Jordan about this pregnancy. I mean, the baby will be born before the divorce is final, *if* he even goes through with the divorce that is. I could be left alone with his child," she said and Suz and Chrissy shared a look.

" He told Lisa about the divorce Kase," Chrissy said quietly and Kasey whipped her head around to meet Chrissy's eyes.

" And...?"

" He spent the night at Joe's."

" Oh. What about me? Does she know about me?" Kasey asked.

" I don't know. Joe wouldn't say. But we're leaving for Boston as soon as you eat. Because if we don't, Jordan will be dead, and Joe will be in jail for murder," Chrissy said and Kasey managed a soft laugh.

" Poor Joe," she murmured and Chrissy nodded her agreement.

" I know. I'm gonna have to make it up to him later," she said and grinned evilly.

" I'm sure he'll enjoy that!" Suz said and Chrissy nodded.

" I'll make sure he does chica, believe me!"

*****

" Take that maniac off my hands."

" Now Joe! Is that anyway to talk about your friend?" Chrissy asked teasingly and he shot her a baleful glare.

" No, its not. He's a maniac! The phone rings, he answers it and nearly scares whoever it is away when it's not you or Kasey! Damn it, get him out of my house before I strangle him!" Joe said and Chrissy laughed, following Joe into the lounge room.

" Chrissy! Where's Kasey?" Jordan asked, jumping to his feet from his position on the chair. Joe glared at him and Chrissy felt as though she was stepping into the middle of a schoolyard fight.

" I'm here to take you to her," Chrissy announced and was surprised at the speed that Jordan was ready. She didn't even have time to kiss Joe before Jordan had dragged her out to the car. Once they were actually driving, the first thing she noticed was that his wedding ring was missing," Tell me something Jordan."

" What?" he asked warily.

" Are you serious about Kasey?"

" Yes. A thousand times yes. Lisa and I are no longer together. The divorce won't take long. I'll give Lisa whatever she wants! I just want to be with Kasey," he said firmly.

" I swear to God though Jordan, you hurt her in anyway, I will seriously harm you," Chrissy warned and he smiled knowingly.

" I think you and Suz would do it together. I won't hurt her Chrissy. I love her. I only want to be with her! I promise you I will take care of her," he said.

" Remember that Jordan," Chrissy murmured. He heard her but didn't say anything, instead throwing her a questioning glance.

*****

" Oh man how will I tell him? I can't just blurt it out. Jordan, you're going to be a father. He'll die right on the spot!" Kasey said anxiously. Suz watched her friend and sighed.

" If you don't calm down, you won't be around to tell him. If he loves you like he claims he does, he wont mind about the baby," she said.

" How do you know?"

" Trust me, I know," Suz said as she heard Chrissy's car pull to a stop. It wasn't long before she heard heavy footsteps and impatient knocking on the door. Suz threw a glance at a nervous Kasey and smiled soothingly," You'll be fine chica."

" Thanks Suz. Where would I be without you?" she said and Suz smiled.

" I don't know hun, I really don't know. I'll leave you and Jordan alone so you can talk okay?" she said and Kasey nodded, licking her lips and running her sweaty palms down the front of her jeans nervously. Jordan appeared in the doorway, Chrissy behind him but he only had eyes for Kasey. Neither of them noticed when Suz and Chrissy left.

*****

" Kasey..."Jordan began but Kasey silenced him.

" Jordan, please. I have something to tell you. And I just don't want you saying anything until I tell you. Because this just may change things between us," she said and Jordan nodded. Kasey sat down on the lounge chair and motioned to Jordan for him to join her. He sat down close to her, so close he could see her trembling hands and worried eyes. What was so important that it was making her nervous? She wasn't going to tell him it was over, was she? He didn't think he could stand that.

" Okay Kasey. What is it?" he asked, trying desperately to keep the worry out of his voice. Either he did that successfully or Kasey was too nervous to notice because all she did was sigh and start twisting her ring around nervously. A habit she only did when she had something important to say.

" Jordan, being with you this last three months has been good. Really good. Better than good even. Everything I imagined about you came true, except for the fact that you're married. But we'll talk about that later," Kasey mumbled. What was she trying to say?

" Kasey, listen. Whatever it is, we can work it out! Just don't give up on us, please," he couldn't stand it any longer so he blurted out the first thing that come to his mind.

" Huh? Oh Jordan! I don't plan on giving us up! But if Lisa knows about me, then that will change. Does she know about me Jordan?" Kasey asked him and he stood, looking down at her impatiently.

" No! Of course not! Well...not from me, anyway. I haven't mentioned anything about us to her. But she knows I want a divorce. Which is why I spent the night at Joe's. Lisa didn't want me in the house. I'm going to be free of her very soon Kasey. Then we can be together, just the way we both want," he said and she smiled at him, rather nervously he thought.

" How about you add another person into that Jordan," she said softly and he stared at her for a long time before he realized what she was talking about.

" You're pregnant?"

" Yes."

" How long have you known?" he asked. This had really thrown him for a loop. He had a divorce pending, and there was no way they could hide this pregnancy from Lisa or the judge.

" Only a short time. I was afraid to tell you Jordan. That's why I let Suz and Chrissy take me away. I needed to come to terms with a lot of things, including the possibility that now you know about the baby, you'll call off your divorce..."

" Never. I love you Kasey. Not Lisa. I don't want to be with Lisa anymore. Lisa and I grew apart. We never should have married in the first place. The divorce will go through Kasey. And then I can be with you and our baby," he said and knelt down in front of her, placing a warm hand on her stomach.

" Are you sure Jordan?" she asked, biting her lip nervously, daring to hope.

" Positive. I never wanted children with Lisa. But it's a different matter with you. I want to have many babies, enough to make one of those cricket teams you love so much!" he said teasingly, rubbing her stomach in slow, soft circles.

" That's eleven kids Jordan!" she said in surprise and he laughed.

" So?" he asked huskily, leaning over and lifting her shirt up, sliding his lips along her stomach, running his tongue around her belly button before delving his tongue in the hole.

" How about we settle for four?" she asked as she leaned back against the lounge back and sighed as his lips set off tiny little shivers inside her.

" Six?" he murmured as his hands unzipped her jeans.

" This isn't the time for bargaining Jordan," Kasey managed to whisper before he slipped her jeans and panties off and draped her legs over his shoulders. He looked up at her and smiled softly, tenderly, lovingly.

" No. Its the time for me to show you exactly just how much I love you," he said and proceeded to do just that.

*****

One Year Later.

" Where is he?" Kasey looked at her brand new husband and smiled softly.

" Asleep, daddy. Leave him alone," she chided softly and smiled when Jordan's cheeks flushed red.

" I just want to see him one more time," he said and Kasey sighed as she followed her ever protective husband into their son's nursery. Jordan opened the door and stood just inside, watching his three-month-old son sleep.

" See. All safe and sound. Now, can we go and celebrate?" she asked, gently propelling Jordan out of the room and closing the door quietly. Jordan took her in his arms and held her close.

" We're finally a family," he sighed into her hair and she smiled," I never thought it would happen!"

" We've always been a family Jordan. Being unmarried didn't make us any less of a family. Nathaniel didn't know any different."

" But officially we weren't a family. Until today. I'm very glad you decided to become my wife Kasey," Jordan said as he looked down at her.

" Well it was a tough choice. But I just have to let you know, I only married you for your astounding good looks," she teased him and squealed when he started tickling her around the waist.

" Is that all?" he asked.

" Your enormous fortune?" more tickling," Your astounding expertise as a lover?" again more tickling until she finally said it," Because I love you."

" And I," Jordan said, punctuating each word with a kiss," Love you. I love Nathaniel. Now, lets get started on those other ten kids." And as Jordan carried her to their bedroom, she thought she would just about give in to any request he made.

*****

The End

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