I Learned From The Best

By: Kasey

It was easier to sit here and watch her than actually approach her. He felt like some sort of stalker, just sitting out in his car on the street. And he knew that if she knew he was here, she'd be extremely upset. But damn it all, that was his daughter playing in the front yard, that was his wife washing the car, that was his driveway, his house...so why wasn't he over there with them right now? Why wasn't he spraying water at his wife or play wrestling with his daughter? The scene in front of him was painfully familiar. They would normally wash the car, then he would play with their daughter while his wife laughed and cheered them on, then they'd end the day with friends coming over for dinner and their children would play. But he had changed all that with his stupidity, his recklessness, his blatant disregard for the wife and child he had.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He did love both his wife and daughter, he really did. He would lay down his life for both of them, without giving a thought to it. But even though he did have that love for them, he had to admit that he had messed up. Having an affair with one of his best friends' wife had messed up more than his family, but also his friend's family.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling to a stop outside the front of his house. When she smiled at the man who got out of the car, he felt his first surge of anger that he managed to hold down. When she hugged him, the jealousy appeared. But the act that brought his anger and jealousy to an almost unbearable point, was when his daughter, his child with his smile but her mothers eyes, ran towards the man. God damn it, what the hell was Miguel doing here, coming around to his house, to his wife and daughter? Wasn't he supposed to be working it out with his own wife? So why was he here?

Jordan watched as Miguel, carrying Emilie, followed Kyra inside the house. How he wished he was there with them. They would all be sitting around the dining room table, discussing the next vacation the two families would be taking, Instead, he was out here, cursing his life and his own thoughtlessness.

*****

" He's out there," Kyra said quietly, watching the car from behind the curtain.

" I know. I noticed him as soon as I arrived. What are you going to do?" Miguel asked her. She looked at him, pain in her eyes and his heart ached.

" I don't know. Part of me wants top go out there and tell him to get the hell away from me and Emi. But another part of me wants to tell him to come back, that I should forgive him, I just don't know what to do," Kyra said, rubbing her temples as another pounding headache started.

" Has Emi asked about him? Miguel asked. Kyra threw a quick look towards her daughter, who, at four, was old enough to realize that her father wasn't here, that he hadn't been here for a long time.

" I told her he was on another tour. I don't want to worry her unless I know for certain that the marriage is over. What about you Miguel? Have you and Paula talked about what happened?" Kyra asked and Miguel sighed heavily.

" We talked as much as possible, through her tears, her yelling, her accusations that I've been ignoring her, that I was having affairs. She left, I filed for divorce," he said and sounded so defeated that Kyra couldn't help but feel bad for him.

" What about Carla?"

" Paula doesn't want her," Miguel said flatly and Kyra gasped. How could a mother not want her own child?

" So what's going to happen?"

" I quit my job. Carla has already lost one parent, I don't want her to lose me as well," he said and Kyra sat down on the lounge next to him.

" Don't quit Miguel. When you go out of town, let Carla stay here with me and Emi. It'll help Carla having Emi to be with, and we'll be helping each other out as well," Kyra said and Miguel smiled weakly at her.

" The only thing that would help either of us is to go back six months and erase what has happened. Why did they do this? My god, I loved Paula! And I thought she loved me! I trusted her. Never did I think she would cheat on me, and certainly not with one of my best friends!" Miguel said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Kyra rested her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes.

" I don't know Miguel. I really don't know. I thought Jordan was happy being a husband and father. And I thought Paula had gotten over losing him. Obviously not," she said softly. Miguel moved and took Kyra in his arms. It was a hug between two friends who had suffered, but the man standing outside the window didn't see it that way. He saw it as two people turning to each other after a betrayal. And he realized he had lost.

*****

He didn't know what else he could do. Apologizing certainly hadn't worked. Nor had sending flowers, chocolates, expensive gifts...she had the machine on so whenever he rang, all he got was a tape recording. He had royally messed up and he didn't know what else he could do to make it up to her, or to Emi. And now this, this scene before him, Miguel and his wife hugging...it was obvious that nothing would ever work again. He turned away from the window and sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. It was his own fault. When he had been dating Paula, he had known what type of woman she had been, even then. When they had broken up, she had sworn she would never get over him, and yet, like a fool, he had brushed her words off as just trivial comments, made only in hurt and pain. When she had started to date Miguel, he had been happy that she had found someone she could love again. But never, in a million years, had he ever expected her to marry Miguel and have his baby, simply as a way to stay close to him, to keep an eye on him and to take advantage of him when he was in a vulnerable position. It had all been part of her plan to get back with him, dating Miguel, marrying Miguel, having his child...all in an attempt to bet back with him. And that shocked him, because never, since he had started dating Kyra, had he ever thought of going back to Paula. Being with Kyra had shown him how unbelievably selfish and unkind Paula had been.

He walked slowly back to his car and got inside, starting the engine, just before he saw Emi run outside and stand at the edge of the curb, staring straight at him.

" Daddy!" she called out, her voice laced with excitement. His heart somersaulted in his chest and he switched the engine off just as she started to make her way across the road. His heart leapt into his throat. She was only four years old! She wasn't supposed to be out on the roads by herself! He jumped out of the car and sprinted across the road, grabbing Emi and lifting her up, cradling her against his chest, just before a car sped by. He put her on the ground and knelt down in front of her, a frown on his face.

" Emi! What have we taught you about crossing the road by yourself?" he scolded her gently, his heart breaking when her beautiful, innocent little face crumbled into tears. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his body," Its okay hun. You just scared me, that’s all. I thought Mama and I taught you not to try to cross the road unless one of us was with you?"

" I wanted to see you daddy. Mama said you were on a tour and wouldn't be back for awhile," Emi said and his heart sank. How was he going to explain to her that he wasn't on a tour, and that the reason why he wasn't at home with her was because Kyra had thrown him out?

" Emi, sweetie, I...I don't know how to tell you..." he was at a loss for words. How much had Kyra told her? How much was she planning on telling her? He didn't know what he should say, what Kyra didn't want him to say...and Emi was looking at him with such trust and love in her eyes that he could barely stand it.

" Emilie Cae! What have I told you about coming outside without me?" Kyra's stern voice broke into his musings and he jerked his head up in surprise. The look Kyra was giving him was not one he had ever wanted to see on any one human's face. It was a mixture of pity and loathing...and he knew that he deserved the loathing. He had done nothing at all to deserve anything nice from her, ever again.

" She wanted to see me," he said quietly, getting to his feet. As if Emilie sensed the tension between her parents, she stuck her thumb into her mouth and moved closer to his legs, slipping her tiny hand into his. His heart swelled with love at the trust she placed in him, and once again cursed himself for screwing up his life.

" Emi honey, go inside and talk to Miguel okay? Mama needs to talk to daddy for a minute," Kyra said. Emilie shook her head stubbornly, standing closer to her father and Kyra sighed," Please Emi. Miguel has some ice cream for you."

" Bribing her now Kyra?" he couldn't resist the comment and when she glared at him, he wished he had.

"Mama I don't want to. I want to stay here with daddy," Emi said.

" Go inside honey. I'll come and see you before I go okay?" Jordan said, getting to his knees so he was on the same level as his daughter. She eyed him warily, her brown eyes confused, before nodding reluctantly. She ran inside the road and he got to his feet, watching Kyra, waiting to see what she was going to say to him.

" Why are you here?" she asked quietly, after several moments of silence.

" I wanted to see you, to see Emi," he said and she nodded slowly.

" So why not come to the door, instead of sitting out here like a stalker?"

" I was afraid you'd tell me to go to hell and then I wouldn't be able to see Emi. Or you. And I do need to see you, I need to talk to you, to tell you that I'm..."

" Don't."

" Don't what?"

" Don't say it Jordan. Don't say the words if you don't really mean them, please. Do me this one favour and don't lie to me again. I don't know how much I can stand anymore," she admitted softly and he stared at her in surprise. She thought that he wasn't sorry about what he had done?

" Do you think that I'm not sorry for cheating on you?" he asked. She was quiet for a long while, and his heart sank. This was how she felt?

" I think you're sorry that you got caught," she said finally and he stared at her in disbelief.

" I told you that I had cheated on you!"

" You felt guilty."

" Hell! Yes I felt guilty! I should have seen what Paula was up to before giving in to her!"

" Its too little, too late Jordan. I cant, I wont have you back in my life, in Emi's life, if all you're going to do is screw it up again. Soon Emi is going to realize that this tour you're on isn't a tour. And then she's going to start wondering why her daddy left. And I'm not going to have any answers that I can give a four-year-old! I know why you left but try telling a four year old that her daddy doesn't like sleeping with one woman anymore, that he needs many women to satisfy him!" Kyra said, her voice still quiet but also full of so much anger, so much hurt, that he knew he had put there.

" That's not true! Damn it Kyra, you can't think that's the case!"

" Then why the hell sleep with another woman? I thought the days of super stud was over," she said, referring to the nickname she had first given him when they were friends, before becoming involved.

" They are Kyra, I swear they are. But..."

" But what Jordan? You had an itch you needed to scratch? You were drunk and couldn't help yourself? Or did you need your ego, as well as your dick stroked?" Kyra asked him sarcastically.

" Kyra, don't be ridiculous."

" So I'm being ridiculous now? I'm not the one who had an affair. I'm not the one who slept with my best friend's partner. I'm not the one who ruined two families by one night of thoughtless actions!"

" So I screwed up! Is that any reason to not give me another chance?"

" Yes!" Kyra yelled, then closed her eyes, ashamed she had raised her voice. She had sworn that no matter what Jordan said to her, she would not lose her temper. But his being here rattled her. She thought she had accepted him not being here all the time, but obviously not, if her current emotional state was anything to go by.

" Kyra, I'm not asking to move back in right away you know," he said quietly.

" I know. But I still wont risk it!"

" Then you're depriving Emi of having a father!"

" No I'm not! You know you're welcome to come visit her anytime you want. I would never take her away from you!"

" You may not want to but hell Kyra, by not giving me another chance, its irresponsible! Emi needs me! I need Emi. You cannot just throw our relationship away without giving some thought to what it will do to Emi!" Jordan said.

" You think I haven't thought this through? Do you really think, that in all the time you've been gone that I haven't wondered what will be best for Emi, for me? I've spent countless nights lying in bed, wondering where I went wrong. Wondering why my husband, who always claimed that he would never want for another woman once he met me, could sleep with someone else. And not just a stranger. No, my husband chooses the wife of the man who's supposed to be his best friend! You were the one who threw our relationship away without giving any though as to what it would do to Emi, to me, to Miguel, to Carla! You and Paula aren't the only people involved in this Jordan, you aren't the only one who could end up hurt. You hurt two innocent children, your best friend and your wife, people you claimed you cared about! Your actions are not those of a man who cares about anyone but himself!" Kyra said angrily, all her pain, her frustration being released. When he had told her that he had cheated on her, her first reaction had been to throw him out, without giving him a chance to explain. At the time, it was the only way she had been able to cope with the pain, the betrayal. But now she wished that she had let him stay long enough to at least try and explain why he had done what he had done. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't have spent the last few weeks thinking she had done something to cause him to cheat, thinking that it was her fault for his infidelity.

" Kyra, I love you, I love Emi. Don't throw us away, please," he begged, feeling her hurt, seeing her anger, knowing that he couldn't do anything to take them away...and hating himself even more for it.

" You love no one but yourself," Kyra told him flatly.

" You know that's not true."

" Do I? I know nothing where you're concerned Jordan. I don't know why you cheated on me, why you chose Paula, why you betrayed me and Miguel the way you did. Hell, I don't even know what I'm supposed to tell Emi!"

" You never gave me a chance to explain Kyra. You threw me out as soon as I was finished telling you! I begged you to let me explain, but you wouldn't listen, wouldn't take my phone calls, wouldn't answer my letters...you cut off all communication from me, effectively shutting down any chance for me to explain."

" I was hurt Jordan! You betrayed me by sleeping with another woman, after taking vows not to! I might have been able to understand a stranger, someone while you were out on the road, but Paula? My god Jordan, did you even think with your brain, or did you let your dick do all the thinking?"

" Don't be so crude Kyra!"

" Then explain to me why you chose Paula, why you touched another woman the same way you touched me," she said, crossing her arms across her chest, watching him, a defensive light in her eyes.

" She chose me! You know that! I did tell you that she initiated what happened, not me!"

" Lousy excuse. You're a grown man Jordan. You're supposed to be able to control yourself."

" Not when she sneaks into the bathroom and into the shower with me. Not when she gets to her knees and starts doing things to me that makes me forget that I'm a married man!"

" You could have pushed her away Jordan," she said quietly, not sure that she wanted to hear all the details, but knowing that is she was going to at least consider taking him back, giving him another chance, she needed to hear it.

" Yes, I could have. But I didn't. God help me, I didn't push her away. I know I should have, I knew then that what I was doing was so god damn wrong. But her tongue, and her hands were driving me insane. All I could think of was what she was doing to me," he told her quietly and she managed to bite back the cry she felt building inside her.

" It sounds as though you enjoyed what she did," Kyra said miserably, realizing it had been a mistake to listen to this.

" I felt so guilty that I was sick to my stomach Kyra," Jordan admitted frankly.

" It still didn't stop you from keeping the night a secret from me, did it?"

" I didn't know how to tell you, what to tell you. I couldn't touch you without feeling ashamed of what had happened. And because it was Paula, I couldn't even talk to Miguel. It should never have happened Kyra and I admit that I was completely wrong in doing what I did, and for not telling you straight away. But please, don't punish Emi for my mistakes," Jordan begged, his eyes pleading with hers to forgive him.

" Jordan, you cheated on me. How am I supposed to forget that?"

" I'm not asking you to forget it Kyra, just forgive me, and let me make it up to you and Emi."

" I cant Jordan. It's not worth the pain. I don't know if you're going to be doing this again...

" I wont!" he interrupted.

" But I don't know that. I can't see into the future. What happens if, I take you back and you decide that you don't want to stay married, that you actually enjoyed being single? You're going to walk out on me and Emi and you're not going to look back. I can't stand going through this again, won't put myself or Emi through it again. And you, you can't make me any promises, not anymore. You've lied to me, you've betrayed everything I thought we had, everything I have held sacred, and you expect you can apologize and all will be forgiven? I don't think so, at least not now, not while all I can see is you, and Paula together," Kyra admitted.

" I haven't seen Paula in weeks Kyra."

" It doesn't make a difference!"

" So the fact that I am here, my heart on the line, begging you for another chance, it means nothing?"

" I'm sorry Jordan."

" Sorry? Hell, you're always sorry! I thought what we had was a good marriage Kyra. I thought we'd be able to make it through anything! But you won't even think about taking me back, at least for a trial, will you? All you're worried about is how hurt you're going to be if I walk out on you again!"

" Don't you try putting the blame on me Jordan! I am not the one who cheated on..."

" No? What the hell is Miguel doing here? Why isn't he working it out with Paula?" Oh God, shut up Knight! Now, before you do anymore damage!

" He's divorcing Paula. He has no choice. And what gave you the right to judge me? Miguel is my friend, and right now, I need all the friends I can get. At least I can trust Miguel and he won't sneak around behind my back!"

" Damn it Kyra!"

" Jordan, leave."

" No! This is my house! I have a right to be here damn it!" he said angrily, pushing past her to stalk up the pathway. Jealousy was eating him alive, as he thought of his daughter with his friend.

" Jordan I don't want you here!" Kyra grabbed a hold of his arm, attempting to prevent him from entering the house but he shook her off, pushing her to the side. She stumbled and fell, landing on her knees on the hard concrete. But Jordan didn't notice, he was too intent on entering the house to see his daughter. But Miguel noticed, and he met Jordan at the door, anger on his face and in his stance.

" Get the hell out of here Jordan," he said, the threat unmistakable.

" My house, my daughter, my wife. Get your own damn family," Jordan muttered, then cursed angrily when Miguel grabbed him by the collar and threw him up against the wall.

" I did have a family, until you came along and stole my wife from me! Now my daughter cries at night for her mother, a woman who no longer wants her own child because she's not the child of the man she really loves!" Miguel said angrily, his teeth clenched, his grip tight on Jordan's shirt.

" Get this straight. Paula came after me! I did not, and I repeat, did not go after her!" Jordan told Miguel, his eyes flashing fire," Now let me in so I can see my child!"

" Paula has always loved you Jordan, and yet you did nothing to discourage her, nothing to stop her from following you, from talking about you. There was always a third person in our marriage, and it was always you! It's always been you! She doesn't even want her own daughter because Carla isn't yours!" Miguel yelled angrily.

" Is it my fault the woman was psychotic?" Jordan asked and Miguel stared at him, surprise and hurt in his eyes. Then he let go of Jordan's shirt and turned away from him, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

" You're not welcome here Jordan. Kyra made that clear to you outside. Now please go away," Miguel said quietly, but Jordan wouldn't give up. This was his house and his family damn it, and no man was going to tell him to go away, not before he saw Emi!

" Where's my daughter?" he asked softly, anger still lingering in his tone.

" In the living room. Happy. Contented. Why don't you just leave her alone Jordan, and go have another child with Paula?" Miguel asked nastily.

" I don't want a child with Paula!"

" No, you wouldn't, would you. Paula pregnant would mean no sex. And we all know how much super stud likes sex!"

" I don't want Paula!"

" What? Super stud already had his fill of the woman, now he wants another one? Who's next Jordan? Your brothers' wife? How about Tony's' wife? Or hey, Joe just got married, didn't he? Why not go and sleep with his damn wife? You like 'em with a wedding band on their fingers, as long as its not yours then you'll be just..." Miguel's angry tirade was abruptly stopped when Jordan's fist connected with his mouth. Miguel, unprepared for the blow, fell to the floor, his hand going automatically to his mouth.

" Jordan!" Kyra screamed, her voice full of horror, but he barely noticed. He wanted - no needed!- Miguel to get up off the floor so he could have another shot at him. But instead of getting to his feet, he stared up at Jordan in surprise, and then started crying, burying his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Kyra knelt beside him, her arms going around him, attempting to comfort him. She looked up at Jordan, and if he thought there had been loathing in her eyes before, now there was even more. She was looking at him as though he were a stranger...and it hurt. He dropped his attacking stance and rubbed his fist, ruefully regretting his actions.

" Miguel..." his stumbled apology was not to be. Kyra glared at him and his heart sank.

" Go Jordan."

" I just..."

" Haven't you done enough damage for one lifetime Jordan? Haven't you already hurt enough people with your senseless and thoughtless actions?" Kyra's angry words were flung at him, uncaring, unnoticing the way he stiffened, the way hurt crept into his posture. He accepted her anger, her pain, her frustration without saying a word," Don't you care that you've ripped apart two families? You're scum, nothing but a piece of good for nothing trash, not even worth the breath it takes to talk to you anymore. When will you get the hint that you aren't wanted, or needed here anymore? Just get out Jordan. Get out before I call the police and have you arrested!" Kyra turned to Miguel, leaning in close to him, talking to him too softly for anyone else to hear. Jordan stood there, feeling very much like an unwanted third wheel, someone of no more consequence than an abandoned child. He turned slowly from the scene before him, and found Emi hiding around the corner, her thumb once again in her mouth, as she stared at him with tears in her eyes.

" Emi..." he said, reaching out to her, but she shrunk from his touch, fear written all over her face. His heart hardened. Even his own daughter was now afraid of him. Well, he deserved it, didn't he? She now knew the truth about her father, that he was a careless, uncaring jerk who hurt his friends and family not only emotionally but also physically. But he tried again, determined that his daughter wouldn't go on thinking of him as a monster," Emi, sweetheart, daddy..."

" Daddy hit Miguel! I don't like you anymore! You hurt Miguel!" she said to him, her eyes flashing with the temper only a four year old could get away with. She stared belligerently at him for several moments before her face crumpled and tears started falling down her cheeks," Go away Daddy. I don't want you here. Mama doesn't want you here so go!"

" Emilie..."

" Go away Daddy," Emi yelled at him, then ran into Kyra's arms.

" Kyra..." he tried again.

" Leave Jordan, please," she said, defeated, dejected, and he nodded slowly, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to get through to any of them today. He surveyed the scene in front of him, before stepping out the door, and shutting it firmly behind him. He stared out at the street before him, at the children playing in the front yards, the adults watching the children play...and realized that because of one night, one stupid mistake, he had thrown all of this away. His friends, his family...and a life, that, up until six months ago, he had enjoyed, and loved being a part of.

*****

" Go away Daddy!" those words echoed through Jordan's head almost a month later. They were only a part of what was going around in his mind. Not only had his wife told him to leave, but his own child had as well. If that didn't show him just how unwanted he was, the papers that had arrived today were an ever-greater proof. Kyra had filed for divorce. She wanted their marriage ended, and she was willing to give up everything she was entitled to, if it meant getting him out of her life quickly. When he had tried to call her, to ask her to reconsider, she hadn't even let him get two words out before telling him to contact her through her lawyer from that moment on. And then she had hung up on him, for the first time since they had met.

Jordan sighed and took another sip from the whiskey bottle in one hand, staring at the divorce papers in the other. Divorce. It had a nasty ring to it. Even though his parents had been divorced, he had honestly wanted his daughter to escape that one nasty aspect in life. There were never any amicable divorces, and someone always ended up hurt, more often than not it was the child. And the last thing he wanted to do was to put Emi through the same pain he and his family had gone through. After his behaviour at the house a month ago though, he wasn't even sure if Emi would ever want to speak to him again, and in his less than sober moments, he agreed with that. He made a lousy husband and father. Plenty of men were tempted to cheat on their wives day in, day out, and yet they all refrained. No, he had to be the jackass who cheated on his wife, the one idiot who threw his life away.

All he wanted was for Kyra to take him back. To let him back into her life, into his daughters life. He didn't know what she and Miguel were doing, what was happening between them. And, if truth be known, he didn't want to know. Jealousy was still eating his insides away, as images of the two of them crept into his mind whenever his defenses were down. That's why he had taken up drinking. At least while he was drunk, he couldn't remember, couldn't form a sober thought in his mind. And although being drunk wasn't doing much for his other friendships, or his career, it did help him forget the mess he had made of his own life.

He cursed the night Paula had appeared at the door to his hotel room. He had opened the door to find her crying, beyond comfort, so he had invited her in...

*****

" My god! Paula, what's wrong?" the weeping woman at the door bore little resemblance to the happy, laughing woman he had seen only two days ago.

" Miguel and I had a fight and he kicked me out," she sobbed. He opened the door wider and allowed her entry. Despite their past, they were now friends, spending a lot of time together with their respective partners.

" Paula, what happened?" he asked, once she was sitting on the lounge, a drink in her hand.

" We had a fight," she repeated, drinking the alcohol in one mouthful. She held out the glass, indicating that she wanted another one, ignoring his frown.

" You told me that already. Why did you fight?" he asked, pouring her another drink and handing it to her.

" I want to send Carla to boarding school, but he wants her to stay at home," she said after downing the second drink as fast as the first.

" Carla is only three and you want to send her away to school?" he asked, shocked.

" Is that such a wrong thing? I want her to have a good education!"

" Why can't you wait until she starts school and then send her to a private school here? Sending her away will only reinforce thoughts of not being wanted," Jordan said. He knew how much Miguel loved his daughter, and knew that he would never let Carla go away to school.

" I want some time with my husband, without having a child around underfoot all the time. But not Miguel. He actually enjoys spending time with Carla. He spends most of his free time with her, instead of me! It's not right I tell you, he should spend time with me! I'm his wife, not someone who he can ignore now he has that brat to be with," Paula bitched and Jordan flinched. This was the woman Miguel had married? This was the woman he himself had once dated? What on earth had made two men fall for someone so cold hearted?

" Miguel loves you and Carla. You can't say things like that! Don't you love your daughter?"

" Carla is Miguel's child, not mine. The minute she was born he forgot all about me," Paula muttered angrily.

" You're imagining things Paula. Miguel loves you," Jordan insisted and Paula glared at him.

" Of all the people I thought you'd understand! You and Kyra aren't getting along too great at the moment, are you?"

" We are! Our marriage has never been better!" he was shocked. Where had she gotten the impression his marriage to Kyra wasn't working?

" Oh please! If you two were so in love, wouldn't you have another child already?" Paula asked nastily.

" Not that it's any of your business Paula but Kyra can't have anymore children. She had a rough time with Emi, so the doctors suggested we shouldn't have any more children," he said, taking a sip of the drink he had poured for himself before Paula's arrival.

" I can give you more children Jordan," his head jerked up at her soft tone. She was watching him with shrewd, careful eyes.

" I don't want anymore children Paula," he told her. She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips thoughtfully.

" Me thinks tho dost protest too much," she quoted.

" Paula, I think you should go back to Boston and talk to Miguel. He wouldn't have kicked you out," Jordan said, getting to his feet.

" You really think its going to be safe for me to drive home now, after the drinks you gave me?" Paula asked and he groaned inwardly. Damn it. Had she set this whole thing up?

" Fine. But you can't stay here in my room. Go down to reception and get yourself a room," he told her but she was shaking her head already.

" Nope. No can do. No rooms available. I checked," she told him. Her smile was a little too triumphant, her eyes a little too pleased at the thought.

" Then you take the bed and I take the sofa," he said abruptly and put the still full glass of whiskey on the bar," I'm taking a shower. By the time I come out, I want you in the bedroom. I don't want any sleepwalking tricks tonight Paula." They both knew he was referring to the first time they had made love, in the living room of her parent's house after she had 'accidentally' sleepwalked from her bedroom. Paula had the grace to look a little embarrassed, but he knew she had no shame and probably would have done it again if he hadn't mentioned it.

" Please! We're both married now! You to little Kyra and me to Miguel," she said the two names distastefully, as if their mere existence was a bore to her, people she wanted nothing to do with, and probably wouldn't if she didn't happen to be married to one of them.

" Paula, I love Kyra. She's my wife. Has been for five years. And Miguel is a friend, someone I've been friends with for much longer than I have known you. So don't do anything stupid to ruin that," he warned her. She flashed him a smile, but he was still uneasy. He never knew what this woman was thinking, the way she veiled her thoughts and emotions. He stared at her for a little while longer before shrugging his shoulders and moving into the bathroom, ensuring he locked the door. He didn't fully trust Paula. Although she was married, he had a feeling she had been cheating on Miguel for quite some time now. And he did not want to become a member of her not so exclusive list. He turned on the water, waiting until it was heated sufficiently before stripping and stepping underneath the spray. He didn't hear the click of the lock, nor did he hear the door opening and shutting. The first he realized he wasn't alone, was when he felt a rush of cold air as the shower door opened, and Paula stepped inside, an arrogant smile on her face.

" Fuck. Paula, get out! I am not interested in you! Get the hell out of here!" he tried to get past her, to get out of the stall, but she pushed him up against the wall of the shower, running her nails down his chest.

" Oh Jordan, it's been so long since I felt your touch on me. No one else compares to you at all!" she purred. He stared at her in shock. What the hell was she doing?

" Paula, you're married to one of my best friends! Even if I was interested in you, which I'm not, there is no way in hell that I would sleep with you! I wouldn't betray Kyra or Miguel like that!"

" Jordan, shut up. I know you enjoy this. Surely Kyra can't do for you what I always was able to?" Paula said as she slid to her knees. He groaned as her lips touched his dick, and the hands that had moved to her hair to push her away held her closer as she licked and sucked him until he exploded. It was then that sanity returned.

" Damn it, what the hell did I ever see in you?" He ground out, pushing her away and stepping out of the shower stall, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. Paula calmly turned the shower off, and stepped out onto the bathroom floor, not even worrying about her nudity. Before he had met Kyra, Paula's body had the ability to turn him on. Now it left him cold and unwanting.

" Good sex Jordan. Great sex even. Come on, its one night! Kyra is back at home with her precious child, Miguel is back in Boston with Carla...what can one night of fun between us hurt?" Paula asked, taking a step closer to him. But he shook his head and held out a hand.

" No. Not in this lifetime Paula! What we did, that was bad enough. But if you think I'm about to sleep with you, then you are sorely mistaken! I don't want you!" he told her angrily.

" Oh come on Jordan! You showed me just how much you want me in the shower! A happily married man wouldn't accept what we did so easily! You're protesting too much, which tells me that you want me and you want me so bad you can taste it!"

" I can only taste guilt and shame Paula. Not sex or anything else your twisted mind imagines. I don't want you. Why I ever did want you I can't imagine. Why Miguel wants you I can't fathom! Don't you feel guilty for cheating on Miguel?"

" I don't even love Miguel," Paula announced flatly.

" Then why did you marry him?"

" Because of you! I wanted you, but when you left me, I couldn't get you back. So the next best thing was Miguel. And he was so easy to dupe, so easy to fool! I never loved Miguel, not even when he asked me to marry him. I only married him and had his child because you were married and a father. But all along, it was you who I wanted to be with, wanted to be married to, wanted to have a child with. Not Miguel," Paula announced cruelly. Jordan stared at her in shock.

" This past four years...all of it was just a charade? Using Miguel to get to me? How could you do this? Miguel doesn't deserve a woman like you, never has! What did you say to him to make him fall for you? How could you do this to Carla? You're a coldhearted, manipulative little bitch Paula and I am sorry that I ever dated you, sorry that I ever introduced you to Miguel. Its caused nothing but heartbreak for him and his daughter!" he told her, watching as her face took on an ugly hateful look.

" I love you Jordan, not Miguel."

" It doesn't make any difference. I'm a married man. I love my wife, love my daughter and I wouldn't give either of them up for anyone, including you!"

" Oh no? Then why did you let me suck you off? Why did you let someone else other than your wife touch you?" Paula spat out and he paled. Oh god, she was right. He hadn't really tried to stop her, hadn't given much of a fight. Kyra was never going to be able to understand this. She wasn't going to forgive him for it. The minute he had given in to Paula, he had thrown away his marriage. But he didn't want to let Paula see his turmoil, so he hid it beneath sarcasm and contempt.

" You think that one night with a worthless whore like yourself will make a difference? Kyra knows what sort of person you are," he told her.

" Do you even plan on telling her Jordan?" Paula taunted.

" Of course I do."

" Sure you do. You won't want to ruin your happy little home by telling the little wife. She'll kick you out and file for divorce. I know what Kyra is like."

" You know nothing about my wife. We have a bond that not even your schemes can break. Get dressed Paula. The sight of you sickens me to my stomach," he said and left the bathroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed, grateful for a few minutes silence to collect his thoughts. He knew he had to tell Kyra, he wouldn't be able to love with himself if he didn't, but the question was how was he going to tell her, and what was he going to tell her? He groaned, shaking his head at his actions. How could he have been so stupid? He could have easily pushed Paula away, stepped out of the shower and thrown her out. So why hadn't he? Had he really wanted her? Deep down, had his body really wanted her all along? He didn't know. His sex life with Kyra was wonderful, nothing he would ever complain and she satisfied him fully. But had there always been a part of him that wanted Paula? He didn't have time to contemplate that thought, as Paula emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed this time.

" Still in nothing but a towel Jordan? I told you that you wanted me," she crowed, moving her hands to her dress, starting to unbutton it slowly. He shot to his feet and grabbed a hold of her hands, holding them so tight that she cried out in pain.

" You are a worthless whore. Miguel should never have married you Paula. I should never have gotten involved with you years ago. And what we did tonight, it means nothing to me. You can just get the hell out of here. Go home and beg Miguel's forgiveness. If I was him, I wouldn't let you back into my life, or Carla's life. But I'm not him, so maybe you'll get lucky and he'll forgive you. But I swear to god, you mention what happened here to anyone, I will ruin you. Don't underestimate what I can do Paula, or I swear you will regret ever opening that big mouth of yours. Now get the hell out of my hotel room, and out of my life!" he said calmly, quietly and angrily to her. She stared at him, her eyes wide and frightened.

" Jordan..."

" Don't waste your breath on me Paula. Miguel is the one you need to beg and plead to. Not me. If I ever see you near my home, if I even hear you've been near my home, you won't have a home to go back to, wont even have a job. Now get out!" the last two words were shouted, and Paula flinched, twisting out of his grip and all but running from the room. He waited until the door had slammed shut before he sank heavily onto the bed again, his head in his hands as he contemplated what to do next...

*****

The phone ringing startled Jordan out of his thoughts. He slammed the almost full whiskey bottle on the table and stumbled to his feet to answer the phone.

" 'Lo?" he muttered. There was complete silence at the other end, so he repeated himself, "Hello?"

" Daddy?" his heart stopped, then restarted, beating faster than he knew possible.

" Emi?"

" Daddy, when are you coming to see me?" her small, worried voice cut into his heart, his conscience. He had only stayed away from the house because he thought Emi didn't want to see him.

" Do you want me to see you?" he asked.

" I do daddy. I miss you. Why haven't you been to see me?" she asked.

" Oh baby. I miss you too. But I don't think Mama wants me there right now."

" Mama isn't home. She and Miguel went out," Emi told him and he sucked in a sharp breath," Can you come and see me daddy please?"

" Ok honey. Let me just call a cab and I'll be there soon okay?" he told her.

" Ok daddy!" she told him, her voice excited and she hung up. He stared at the receiver for several seconds, wondering how she had managed to call him, then shook his head and hit the button to hang up the phone. He had been drinking, not much, but he still didn't want to drive, so he was going to call a cab. If his daughter wanted him, then he was going to her.

*****

Fifteen minutes later, Jordan paid the taxi driver and walked up the path to his house. He saw the curtains in the living room window move slightly and he knew Emi had been waiting for him. The front door flew open and Emi ran down the steps and into his arms.

" I knew you'd come daddy!" she cried out and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He held her close, breathing in deep, fighting the tears that were forming. He had missed his daughter, missed being able to spend time with her, missed seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, hearing her call him daddy...

" Anything for you buttercup," he whispered and she giggled.

" Daddy I no buttercup!" she said and he smiled as she wriggled to be let down. He put her on the ground and she grabbed his hand and started pulling him into the house," C'mon Daddy! Come see Carla!" His heart stood still. He hadn't seen Carla since before he had told Kyra about Paula. How had the three-year-old changed? She had been a quiet little girl normally, but when she was around Emi, she had been outgoing and adventurous. Emi was naturally very curious, very outgoing, very friendly and often times coerced the younger girl into coming out of her shell.

" Ok buttercup," he said and she giggled again as they entered the living room. He looked around, trying to find out who was babysitting the two girls, but he could only hear faint sounds coming from the kitchen. He shrugged his shoulders and sat down on the carpet, in between Emi and Carla. He looked at Carla, and his heart went out to her. She was pitifully thin, and her little face was worn and tired.

" Hey Carla," he said softly. She looked at him with such emotionless eyes that he hated himself even more.

" Mummy went away Unca Jordan," she said softly and he nodded," Daddy said she wasn't coming back."

" I know hun," he said and she dropped her head.

" I want my mummy to come back," she whispered.

" Carla, I..." he didn't know what to say.

" Carla, remember what Mama told you?" that was Emi, strong and brave. He felt a surge of pride for his daughter.

" Yes," Carla said.

" What did Mama say?" Jordan asked, curious.

" Mama said that if Carla's mummy wanted to be so selfish and cruel that she didn't want anything to do with her own daughter, then she would help Carla and be like a mummy to her," Emi said and Jordan closed his eyes. That was Kyra all over.

" That's nice of Mama," he told Emi and she nodded, smiling brightly.

" Carla has been here every night this week!" Emi announced. Every night? Did that mean Miguel had stayed as well? Jordan didn't know how to ask, didn't know if he wanted to know. But before he had time to ponder the thought, Emi started chattering away about the week she and Carla had had," Mama took us to the pool, and we learnt how to swim. Then we went to the park. And we went out for ice cream and the movies and shopping. And at night, we watched movies and ate popcorn, with real butter!" Jordan smiled. Emi, when she became over excited, talked faster and faster, until she was almost unintelligible. And she was getting over excited fast, telling him about her week.

" That sounds great hun. What did you buy when you went shopping?" he asked, urging her to slow down a little.

" Mama bought me a new dress. And she bought Carla a dress as well. When Miguel came over he said we looked like princesses! Do you think we're princesses daddy?" Emi asked.

" Definitely," he answered absently. So Miguel had spent at least one night here. He should have guessed. They were both hurting, it would only be natural to turn to each other.

" Wanna see the dresses daddy?" Emi asked and he nodded, smiling at the way Emi all but lifted Carla up and dragged her into the bedroom. He picked up the doll Emi had been playing with and recognized it as one he had bought her back from Europe last time he had been over there on tour. At least she was still wanting to see him, he thought. He heard a noise at the door and looked up, into the terrified eyes of a young woman.

" Who are you?" she asked, her voice trembling, and his heart sank. Surely Kyra had mentioned him, or Emi?

" I'm Emi's father," he told her. He watched her look at him warily, then lower the knife she had been holding.

" I see the resemblance. I'm Anna, the babysitter. Why are you here? Kyra never mentioned you were coming over," she said.

" Emi called me before and asked me to come over. I never thought that she'd do it without asking you," he told her and she nodded.

" So that's what the little darling was doing. She was so quiet that I wondered what she was up to. When I called out to her, she said she and Carla were playing phones," Anna said, smiling a little.

" That's my daughter," he admitted and relaxed even more when she laughed a little.

" Emi is a bit precocious, but I love babysitting her. She talks incessantly about you," Anna said, watching him carefully.

" She does?" he asked, surprised.

" Of course she does. You're her daddy. I only started babysitting her a month ago, but I can see she loves you very much. And she misses you. Which is why it doesn't surprise me that she called you," Anna said.

" Well it surprised the hell out of me. Last time I saw Emi she told me to go away and that she didn't like me anymore," he said grimly.

" At four, words mean nothing when she misses you."

" How did you start working for Kyra?" he asked.

" If you're worried whether I'm some sort of psycho, I'm not. I'm a friend of Miguel's. He mentioned that since Kyra was going back to work, and he was also working, they needed someone to watch the girls during the day. I offered, Kyra accepted."

" Oh," he said quietly. The way Anna was talking, it was as though Miguel and Kyra were involved.

" Where did the girls go anyway?" Anna asked, not noticing his silence.

" Um, something about dresses and looking like princesses," he told her and she laughed.

" Oh those dresses. Kyra bought them a dress each. Nothing fancy mind you, but Emi and Carla pranced around in them for a whole day! I had never seen Carla that excited, at least not since..." Anna fell silent and Jordan knew what she was thinking. Since Paula had left.

" Emi mentioned Miguel..."

" If you're worried as to whether your wife and Miguel are sleeping together, don't be. Miguel is still a married man, despite what Paula did to him. He wouldn't think of sleeping with another woman before the divorce goes through. And I have a feeling that it will take him a long time to get over Paula and her betrayals," Anna said. Did she know that one of Paula's betrayals had been with him? Jordan wondered. He doubted it, she was being far too nice to him.

" I wasn't thinking that," he lied," I was actually wondering how often he comes over here, that's all."

" Sure you were Jordan," Anna said," You were wondering if Kyra had decided to get revenge on you for sleeping with Paula." So she did know.

" You know?"

" Its hard not to."

" Then why are you talking to me? I've found that people usually avoid me like the plague once they find out what I did," he told her and she smiled.

" I want to know why you did it."

" I can't even explain that to myself, how do you think I can explain it to you?" he asked and she shrugged.

" Has to be some reason why you slept with another woman."

" I never said I slept with her," he said quietly, and she looked at him sharply.

" But you told Kyra you cheated on her. That means sleeping with..."

" I haven't slept with another woman since I met Kyra," he told her firmly and she stared at him in surprise.

" So what did you do that constitutes cheating?"

" She ah..." he was uncomfortable trying to talk to this woman, a stranger, and she realized that.

" Be frank with me. I've heard it all Jordan, trust me," she told him.

" Oral sex," he muttered, feeling the surprise in her gaze.

" That was it? You gave her..."

" NO! She gave me oral sex!" he burst out.

" And you led Kyra and Miguel to believe that you slept with Paula?"

" Oral sex is still cheating on my wife!"

" You never told Kyra that was all that happened?"

" She never gave me a chance! I told her, she threw me out and wont talk about it."

" You've got to tell her Jordan. And Miguel!"

" It's not going to make a difference. Oral sex is still cheating..."

" Yes but there's a hell of a difference between that and actual sex. My god, you never told Kyra that you never actually went any further than having Paula's mouth on you?" Anna asked, incredulous that such a smart man could be so dumb as to let this whole situation blow out of proportion.

" I couldn't. In my eyes, I still cheated on her. The fact that I never actually slept with Paula doesn't make a difference. Oral sex is still sex. It's still cheating on her," Jordan said.

" Yes I know that. But it does make a difference. Just tell Kyra and Miguel. It won't change anything, at least I doubt it will but at least they won't think you slept with her. They'll know you didn't do what all the other men did," Anna said.

" So she was sleeping around behind Miguel's back. I had a feeling she was, but couldn't prove it, not enough to tell Miguel anyway," he muttered.

" Yes, Paula was cheating on Miguel, long before you. He just didn't want to lose Carla so he accepted her cheating. He just stopped sleeping with her himself, stopped being a husband to her. He never cheated on her, he just stopped caring. Until you. You were his friend and for you to be with Paula, it was the last straw, because he knew how much Paula wanted you. It hurt him and he couldn't forgive either you, or himself," Anna said.

" What do you mean, himself? It wasn't his fault this happened."

" No, but he blames himself for convincing Paula to marry him. She was pregnant when they married, did you know that? But she lost the baby after the wedding, and they very nearly divorced then. But she fell pregnant again, so they stayed together. Soon after Carla's birth, Paula started the affairs. Miguel found out about them when Carla was one. That was when he stopped caring about Paula and started concentrating on being a father to Carla. It was obvious that Paula wasn't the tiniest bit interested in being a mother, so he made up for it, but it wasn't enough. Carla needed a mother, so Paula tried to be one, tried to care for her, but it never really happened, she could never really give herself to anyone," Anna said.

" And when Paula's affairs finally blew u in her face, because of my owning up, Carla suffered, Miguel suffered...my god, what did I do?" Jordan asked, himself more than Anna, but she answered anyway.

" You made a mistake. But the fact the you owned up and the fact that you didn't really sleep with her, should help you."

" Help me do what? I already asked Kyra for a second chance, but she won't go for it. Its not gonna happen. I have to resign myself to seeing Emi once a week. Its my own fault and I have no one else to blame but myself," he mumbled, just before Emi and Carla danced into the room, wearing the dresses Kyra had bought them that week.

*****

" Kyra, can we talk?" Kyra looked up from getting dinner ready to find Anna standing just inside the door of the kitchen, a hesitant look on her face. She smiled and waved her in.

" Sure. What's up?" she asked. Anna sat down on a stool near the kitchen counter and started peeling the lettuce apart, readying it for a salad.

" Jordan came around today," she said quietly. Kyra stopped cutting the tomatoes and stared at Anna in surprise.

" Jordan, as in, my husband Jordan was here?" she asked and Anna nodded. Kyra took a deep breath," What did he want?" Deep down she was hoping he had come around because he wanted to see her, wanted to try again. But it had been a month since he had last been around, and the only contact he had made was when the divorce papers had arrived. She had been too hurt to talk to him then, but now she wished she hadn't hung up on him.

" Emi called him."

" Emi called Jordan?" this surprised Kyra. She didn't know that her daughter knew how to use a phone.

" Apparently she missed him and wanted to see him. So she called him and he came straight over. He spent most of the afternoon here, only left about fifteen minutes before you arrived home," Anna admitted.

" Did he...was there...what happened?" Kyra didn't know how to ask Anna if Jordan had asked after her, left her a message...

" Emi showed him the dress you bought her, they played tea party, then he read to Carla and Emi before they went down for a small nap. He cleaned the living room, had a cup of coffee then left. I asked him to stay until you came home but he didn't, said that you had made it clear you didn't want him here," Anna said. That hurt. Kyra had to admit that it hurt. She knew she had made it clear but...damn, for Emi to call her father, ask him over here and for him to leave, all with the knowledge that he wasn't wanted here...it must have hurt him if it was hurting her.

" Did he say anything?" Kyra asked quietly.

" We talked. Kyra, there's been a huge misunderstanding!" Anna burst out, then clamped her mouth shut. Kyra stared at her in surprise.

" Misunderstanding? What the hell do you mean?"

" I-I don't know if I should be the one telling you this..."

" Anna, please."

" We talked about this whole situation with Paula."

" And what did he say?"

" He never slept with her Kyra."

" Of course he did Anna. He told me so himself. If he told you that he never slept with her, then he's lying to you," Kyra said, not believing how far Jordan was taking this.

" Think back Kyra. What did Jordan tell you when he told you about Paula?" Anna said. Kyra waved her words away.

" It doesn't matter. He slept with her. By sleeping with her he threw away his family," she said and Anna sighed.

" He never slept with her Kyra. He didn't even touch her! He never told you this? He never explained what happened?"

" I-I never gave him a chance to do that. He told me he had cheated on me with Paula and I threw him out."

" Surely you should at least give him a chance to explain. You owe him that surely!"

" I owe him nothing!"

" Five years of marriage and you're going to let one mistake ruin it all?"

" Anna, you don't know anything about what happened."

" I do. Jordan told me and Miguel told me. And my impression of this whole issue is that so many people are hurting, and yet no one is willing to sit down and talk about this. At least, if only for Carla and Emi, sit down and talk to Jordan. You, Miguel and Jordan really need to talk, before you go through with the divorce. I'm not saying that anything will change, I'm not saying that you'll stop the divorce, but maybe you'll be able to sleep better at night, maybe you'll have an explanation for Emi when she asks," Anna said quietly, before getting to her feet and leaving the kitchen. Kyra heard her call out goodbye to Miguel, and then the front door close. Miguel came into the kitchen a few minutes later.

" What were you and Anna talking about?" he asked, stealing a piece of tomato and popping it into his mouth as he sat down on the stool vacated by Anna.

" Jordan was here today," Kyra told him. He nodded, looking unconcerned.

" So Carla mentioned."

" That doesn't upset you?" she asked.

" Maybe it should, but Carla is happier tonight than I've seen her in a very long time. I can't complain about that, can I?" he asked.

" No, I guess not," she said and continued with the salad fixings. She could feel Miguel watching her curiously.

" What's up?" he asked finally.

" Anna suggested that the three of us sit down and talk," she admitted. Miguel's forehead creased into a confused frown.

" Anna, me and you?"

" No, Jordan..."

" Look, maybe seeing him helped Carla, but as far as I'm concerned, I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He was my friend and he slept with my wife. Someday I may be able to forgive him, but at the moment, that day is very far away," Miguel told her and she nodded. She knew exactly what he was feeling...but there had been something in Anna's voice that told her this was something she had to do.

" I know, and I understand Miguel. But Anna said something...its got me thinking. We never gave Jordan a chance to explain what happened," Kyra said.

" So? Paula filled me in. I heard it all from her,. In fact, she couldn't help but tell me all the details," Miguel said bitterly.

" Did you ever wonder what Jordan's side was?"

" No. I never cared, either," he said and sighed," Look, Kyra. Paula took great pleasure in informing me what she and Jordan did. Relished in it, in fact. I heard about the night in detail and I don't want to sit through the details again. And I don't think you want to either."

" I'm not talking about the details of that night Miguel. I just want to know why they did it."

" I can tell you why they did it. Selfishness. Paula never gave a damn who she hurt, and as far as Jordan is concerned, she wanted him bad enough to push any feelings of guilt aside."

" But the only explains Paula, Miguel. It doesn't explain why

Jordan..."

" Kyra, you sound as though you're seriously considering giving him another chance," Miguel observed.

" No! I mean...hell, I don't know. Maybe I am. I know how much Emi loves him. And she does need him, I admit that."

" But you cant take him back just because of Emi."

" I know. And I guess that I still love him, despite what has happened. I still love him and I want him back. But I'm still not sure if I should give him another chance. What if he does it again? I know I wont be able to handle this all again," she admitted. Miguel looked at her, his eyes thoughtful.

" Then take him back."

" I just don't know."

" You love him. That's enough to work through anything."

" But you loved Paula and it wasn't enough," Kyra pointed out.

" The difference between me and Paula, and you and Jordan is the fact that you and Jordan still love each other. To Paula, love was something she gave with her body and not with her heart," Miguel said.

" I just don't know Miguel. Taking him back, giving the marriage another chance...its all so risky."

" That's what love is all about. Risk. Sometimes you'll end up hurt, sometimes you'll end up happier than ever before. But you have to give it a chance. I did. After Paula lost the first baby, she wanted a divorce. But I was willing to stick it out, to risk my heart for the chance of being happy. Even if it is ending up in divorce, I still got Carla out of the marriage, and to me, she was worth the risk, and I'd never go back in time and change anything," Miguel said. Kyra was silent as she thought over his words. Could she do it? Could she ever forgive Jordan enough to take him back and give him another chance? Was love going to be enough?

*****

" Jordan," Kyra's soft voice interrupted his packing. He looked up at her, surprise on his face.

" Kyra? What are you doing here?" he asked, getting to his feet. She had never been here before, he didn't even know that she knew where he had moved to.

" I needed to see you. Are you going somewhere?" she asked, indicating the boxes he was in the middle of packing.

" I'm moving into a house," he said and her mouth formed a silent 'O'.

" Why?"

" I want to be able to play with Emi in a yard when she visits me after the divorce," he told her and she flinched slightly.

" Where?"

" Brookline," he told her.

" But you're only ten minutes drive from the house. Why move so far away from Emi?"

" Kyra, you aren't here to discuss my moving plans. Why are you really here?" he asked.

" I needed to talk to you," she said.

" About?" he asked, moving some clothes off the lounge so she could sit down.

" Anna mentioned something to me..."

" Anna? What did she say?" why did he look so worried?

" She said that you never slept with Paula, never touched her," Kyra said and he closed his eyes.

" And?" his voice sounded strained.

" And," she went on," That I should give you a chance to explain what happened."

" And because someone else told you to, you're going to give me the chance to explain, after me begging and pleading with you to listen?"

" Basically," she whispered, realizing how shallow it sounded. He sighed.

" Kyra, I never expected you to believe someone over me. I begged you to listen to me and you weren't even willing to do that! And all of a sudden, you're willing to sit down and talk to me, all because Anna told you something. What's happened to you Kyra?" he sounded so disappointed in her that she felt ashamed.

" Jordan..." she said but he interrupted her.

" But, because you're giving me a chance, I'm not going to let it go by without telling you what happened that night," he told her and she nodded, biting her bottom lip nervously. Miguel had said the details had been explicit, at least what Paula had told him - would she be able to handle them coming from Jordan? She'd just have to wait and see," Paula showed up at my hotel room, crying, claiming she and Miguel had fought and he had kicked her out. So I invited her in, gave her something to drink and talked to her about it. The conversation turned away from Miguel, onto me and how much she wanted me, how much she loved me. I told her to go home but because she'd been drinking she couldn't. So I told her to get her own room, but she claimed there weren't any left. So, instead of kicking her out, I let her stay the night. She was going to sleep in the bedroom, I was going to take the sofa. I went in to take a shower, locking the door. Then all of a sudden, she came in, and started touching me, starting stroking my chest, talking about how much she wanted me, how much she had missed my touch. Then she fell to her knees and...she...I think you can imagine what she did then. Sanity prevailed and I got out, telling her to leave, to get dressed. Nothing else happened Kyra. We never slept together, I never touched her. She got dressed, we argued, she left. After I threatened her, she left. That's it Kyra. I swear on Emi's life, that's all that happened." Kyra said nothing, just staring at him. He hadn't slept with Paula? Hadn't made love to her?

" Why did you tell me you had..."

" I never told you that I slept with her. All I said was that I had cheated on you. Never did I say did I sleep with her. I love you Kyra. You are my wife. What I did, it was cheating, but I would never, ever sleep with another woman, while being married to you. You have to believe that, even if you don't believe anything else I say," he told her. She bowed her head, not sure what else to say.

" Paula told Miguel..."

" I can imagine what Paula told Miguel. And I don't blame him for believing her. Paula can be very persuasive when she wants someone to believe her, I know that from experience. But whatever Paula told Miguel, it's not true. Unless, of course, she told him what I just told you. But knowing Paula, I doubt that very much," He said, sarcasm and anger in his voice.

" How do I know that you're telling me the truth?"

" What have I got to lose Kyra, if I am lying? You've already kicked me out, you've already filed for divorce. What else do I have to lose?"

*****

He had a point. She had to admit that. He had nothing else to lose. They weren't together, the divorce was filed...so there wasn't anything else he was frightened of losing. So, was he telling the truth, and if he was, why hadn't Paula told the same story? Kyra needed to get to the bottom of this, before she made a mistake and ruined everyone's life. The only way she could get the truth, the only way she could make a decision as to whether she could take Jordan back, was to get the truth from the other person involved in this whole issue - Paula.

So that was why she was here, outside the house Paula had moved into after she and Miguel had fought. She had decided not to call ahead, afraid that if Paula knew she was coming, she'd bolt. And Kyra needed to at least try and get the truth of what happened that night out of her. Kyra got out of the car, locking it, then walking up the path to the front door. She knocked on it, waiting for Paula to answer it. But the person who opened the door was definitely not Paula.

" Hello?" the man asked, his eyes curious.

" Ah, hi. Does Paula Melendez live here?" she asked nervously, hoping she had the right place.

" Paula? Yeah, she does. Can I ask who you are?" the man was looking at her suspciously now.

" Kyra. I'm um...I guess you could call me a friend of Paula's. I know her husband," she told the man, and he nodded.

" Like to come in? Paula is just in the bedroom getting changed at the moment, but she'll be out in a minute," he said, opening the door wider. She smiled her thanks and slipped inside, standing just inside the hallway, trying not to stare at the man. He smiled and indicated that she could go into the living room.

" Thanks. How long have you known Paula?" she asked figuring that was a safe question.

" Awhile," he answered vaguely.

" Eric, hun, who was that at the..." Paula stopped speaking when she saw Kyra standing there. Kyra almost gasped out loud at the woman who stood before her. Where was the elegant, sophisticated woman she knew? This woman had no make up on, her hair was just pulled back into a ponytail, and she was dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She looked completely different...and yet, happier than Kyra had ever seen her," Kyra?"

" Hi Paula," she said.

" Eric, can you go grab us a couple of cans of soda?" Paula asked and he nodded, glancing curiously between her and Kyra. He kissed Paula quickly, before leaving the room," Before you say anything Kyra, I just want to apologize for all the trouble I ever caused you. Going after Jordan, it was wrong. He never wanted to...I mean, it was all me, all the time. Jordan, he never wanted anything to happen. You have to believe that Kyra. He was faithful to you and threw me out of the hotel room that night..."

" Why are you telling me this Paula?"

" I screwed up a lot of things in my life Kyra, marrying Miguel was just the start of it. And instead of insisting on the divorce, I let him talk me into staying with him, completely ruining his life, my own and Carla's as well. I should have been stronger and divorced him then. Maybe everything would have been different," she admitted.

" Paula..." Kyra didn't know what to say.

" I was weak. And childish. My whole marriage with Miguel was a plan to get Jordan back. I used Miguel shamelessly, not even caring that I was hurting him. And Carla...oh my god, I cant believe what I did to that poor little girl! I was supposed to be her mother and I used her against Miguel so bad. My whole life since Jordan broke up with me has been worthless. But I made a change Kyra. I met Eric and he's helped me see..."

" Whooah. Slow down Paula. You lost me. Start at the beginning, tell me what you mean," Kyra said and Paula sighed, sitting down on the worn sofa, indicating to Kyra to join her. Kyra sat down and faced Paula, who looked much younger than her age.

" When Jordan broke up with me, I lost it. Despite everything, I did love him. I was even hoping to marry him, but then he broke up with me. I didn't take it at all well. I almost died three times, because I tried to commit suicide. But people found me and saved me. After the third time, which would have been about a year after we broke up, I heard he was dating you, engaged to you even. So I started following his life through one of our mutual friends. I found out that Miguel was single, so I approached Jordan, and pretended to be interested in Miguel, asking for an introduction. It was unbelievably easy to convince Miguel that I loved him. And then we found out I was pregnant. We married, for the baby. But when I lost it, it was like I was a failure again. First losing the man I loved, then the baby. I was so depressed, lost and instead of sticking to what I wanted to do, I gave in to Miguel and stayed with him. Then I fell pregnant again, this time carrying Carla to full term. When I have birth to her though, something happened. I started feeling even worse than before, started hating her, and Miguel, for the position I was in. I started sleeping around, mainly as revenge to Miguel for making me feel weak. When he found out, he just stopped caring, stopped being the man I at least liked. He concentrated on Carla and I guess it hurt. So I set my sights on Jordan, I wanted Miguel to hurt and hurt bad. And I knew that if I convinced Jordan to sleep with me, then Miguel would hurt. I just never realized how hard it would be for me to do that. Jordan was so intent on being completely faithful to you that he wouldn't even give me another look! That made me want him even more. So when the opportunity arose for me to be alone with Jordan, in a hotel room, I took it, not even thinking of what it might do to you when you found out. I was undeniably selfish and cruel," Paula said, bowing her head.

" Paula, what was wrong? Why did you act the way you did?"

" A lot of things. I met Eric, who's a counselor. I started doing drugs after Jordan left me, nothing heavy. Just a lot of different anti-depressants. And then after Carla's birth, I suffered from post-partum depression. The depression from losing Jordan, losing the first baby then the depression after Carla was born, it all collided and I needed more and more drugs to get by during the day. After Jordan told you what happened that night, and after Miguel and I split up, Eric referred me to another counselor who made me see what I was going through. Eric and I are in love for real this time Kyra, and as much pain and suffering I caused Miguel and Carla, I wish I could take it all back. But it's never going to happen. I wish Miguel would see me, let me talk to him, but I understand why he won't. He's been terribly hurt Kyra. And I'm the one who hurt him. But I want to make it better, or at least try to explain why I was like the way I was. Can you do that for me Kyra? Can you at least try and tell Miguel so he can tell Carla?"

" Paula, what about Carla?"

" I love her Kyra, but for me to try and take her away from Miguel would be wrong. I won't do it, nor does Eric want me to. I want to see her, still be a part of her life, but its time I moved on and changed my life. Instead of blaming other people, I realized that it was me all the time," Paula said. Kyra was silent. Paula sounded so sincere, so different. Could she be trusted?

" Paula, you sound as though you really mean all this. Can I ask you something?"

" Anything Kyra. If there's a chance we can be friends, I'd like to take that chance, but I'll understand if you don't trust me for that."

" What happened the night you went to Jordan's hotel room? Miguel said that you gave him explicit details, but what Jordan told me, it doesn't go with what Miguel says you told him," Kyra said and Paula blushed.

" I know. I was angry that Miguel didn't react differently to what happened with Jordan, so I embellished what really happened. I only did it to get him to react. I never imagined that he'd take it serious!"

" Well he did. Paula..."

" I know, you want to know what Jordan and I did that night to tell you the truth, nothing. I got into the shower with him and gave him oral sex. That's it. He didn't touch me, didn't make love to me. Not from lack of trying on my part, trust me. I tried, but he just wasn't for it. And now that I look back at that night, at what happened, I knew he was right in the way he treated me. I was acting like a whore. Using men to get back at Miguel for something that wasn't even his fault. That's how a whore acts and I am so ashamed of that now. I don’t know why I ever thought Jordan would want me again. He had you, and he loved you. He has his daughter who he also loves. I was wrong in the way I acted, and I truly hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and to forgive Jordan. I would hate to see you two end up the way Miguel and I have," Paula admitted.

" I'm hoping it won't come to that Paula, trust me."

*****

Miguel stacked the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, turned it on high and shut the door to the machine just as the front doorbell chimed. He wiped his hands on the towel he had tucked into his jeans and went to answer it.

" Kyra, come on in," he said warmly, when he saw who was standing outside the door. She smiled and stepped inside.

" Miguel, can we talk?" she asked as they entered the living room.

" Sure. What do you want to talk about?" he asked as they sat down on the sofa.

" Paula."

" I'd rather not..."

" I think its time you spoke to someone about her and what happened Miguel. It can't be healthy for you to keep all your anger and frustration bottled up like this," she said as he got to his feet and started pacing in front of her.

" Paula betrayed me, our marriage and the marriage vows we spoke in front of our friends, family and God!"

" Did you ever think she might have actually had a good reason?"

" A good reason? What reason could she have had to act the way she did for four years? There no good reason for all but abandoning her own child for gods sake!" Miguel said angrily.

" What do you know about Paula, Miguel? What do you really know about her?"

" Why are you even defending her? She was the woman who was a party to Jordan cheating on you. How can you all of a sudden be defending her, making excuses for her?" Miguel asked.

" I saw her today."

" You did?"

" I did."

" And?"

" And what Miguel? What do you want to know? Is she regretting what she did? Is she feeling bad, guilty, worthless? Yes, to all three. But she's changed Miguel, she really has," Kyra told him. He laughed sharply.

" Sure, and I'm the President of the United States!"

" Well, Mr. President, you better go and find a country to bomb now, because Paula has changed. And until you talk to her, you won't realize just how much she has. Shutting her out like this, it's not right. I know what she did was wrong, and that it hurt your pride, but damn it Miguel, she is your wife and mother of your own child. No matter what she did, you at least owe her the courtesy of..."

" I owe her nothing!" Miguel snarled angrily.

" You owe her a chance to let her explain everything and make it good with Carla," Kyra told him.

" That woman," Miguel said, his voice ice cold, his eyes matching his voice," Has no rights, no rights at all where Carla is concerned!"

" Regardless of everything that has happened, don't you think that you at least owe your daughter the chance to see her mother, to get to know her own mother? Miguel, you aren't a cruel man, I know you far too well to believe that of you. Despite Paula's transgressions, you want Carla and Paula to know each other, to love each other," Kyra said softly and he sighed.

" You're right Kyra. I do want Carla to get to know Paula, I want Paula to love Carla, to see what a bright, fun loving beautiful little girl Carla is. But Paula can't see past what she wants, what she needs. Inviting Paula back into out lives right now, it wouldn't be good for Carla."

" It wouldn't be good for you, you mean."

" Kyra!"

" Miguel face it! You're so angry at what Paula did to you that you aren't seeing reason here. And if you aren't willing to let Paula make it up to you and Carla, then you're going to stay angry at her the rest of your life. And you'll change. You'll become bitter and unlovable. What kind of example is that for Carla? Doesn't she deserve a father who isn't bitter, who can look at his own child without hating the child's mother?" Kyra asked, watching Miguel carefully.

" Kyra, I loved Paula. She cheated on me, she used me, she used Carla. You want me to forgive and forget?"

" So maybe you won't forget. Its not as easy to forget as it is to forgive. But at least try and be civil, try to be the bigger person here, if only for Carla's sake."

" Why does Paula deserve anything from me?"

" Because what she did, it was a way to cope with losing Jordan, losing the first baby and dealing with the depression that came with those two events and also the post-natal depression that came after Carla's birth," Kyra told him and he stared at her in surprise.

" Depression? How come I never noticed it, never saw it?" he asked suspiciously.

" She was a good actress. Miguel, she was on anti-depressants. She became addicted to them."

" I would have seen that!"

" Really Miguel? With the amount of travelling you did, the amount of times you were away from home, even after Carla's birth? Hell, I saw Paula almost every day because I insisted that she bring Carla to play with Emi and I never noticed anything was wrong. How were you expected to see it?"

" I was her husband for goodness sake! I should have seen the signs if she was addicted to..." he fell silent.

" What Miguel? You should have seen signs she was addicted to anti-depressants, that she was suffering from depression? You did. Her affairs, they were a sign of feeling unworthy, needing to find love, even if it meant sleeping around. Next to you, I guess Paula felt pretty worthless."

" Why?" he asked, his tone incredulous.

" You're a pretty successful man. You're so positive about life. You know what you want and you work to get it. Next to you, even I feel worthless!" Kyra admitted.

" Am I that bad?"

" No! Oh god no Miguel! You're just a very powerful person, very strong willed. You needed a woman who had that same qualities, and Paula didn't. She wanted someone who would look after her. With the travelling you did, she was expected to be independent and strong. And she wasn't Miguel. She felt weak, and unworthy and unwanted. And she could never tell you because, well hell, what would you have said if she had told you what she was feeling?"

" Honestly?" and Kyra nodded. Miguel sighed," I probably wouldn't have believed her, probably would have thought she was saying it to get attention. God, I've been stupid, haven't I?"

" Not stupid Miguel. You just expected a lot from a woman who was unable to deliver it. Its no ones fault. Or it's both your fault. But that doesn't matter now. It's in the past. Paula is getting help, she's seeing a counselor, she's stopped taking the pills. And she's happy Miguel, happier than I have ever seen her. You can't begrudge her her happiness surely," Kyra said.

" I'm not...Kyra, what if she tries to take Carla away from me now that she's clean and sober?" Miguel asked. Kyra looked at him and saw that this was a real worry, if the tension lines on his face were anything to go by.

" She promised me she'd never think of doing that. She realizes how she treated Carla and she knows that if she tried to take Carla away from you, it wouldn't be the right thing. But she wants a chance to be a part of her life Miguel. She wants to get to know her daughter and to love her. Don't deny her that, please."

" I-I...Kyra..."

" Miguel, its okay. I know she hurt you. I know how hard it is to trust again. But you have to put that aside and learn to get along, for Carla's sake," Kyra said. Miguel sat down next to her and buried his face in his hands.

" It's so hard," he whispered.

" I know, believe me, I know. But once you work past the hurt and betrayal, things will start getting easier." Miguel was silent, Kyra just watching him, waiting, hoping...she knew that in the end his love for Carla would win out his hate for Paula, but at the moment, she knew how much he was hurting, knew how much he wanted things to be different. Hadn't she felt those things recently? Hadn't she layed in bed night after night, wishing things had been different, wishing that she could turn the clock back and change everything? But it wasn't going to happen, and after talking to Paula, she had made the decision that if things were going to change, she had to be the one to change them.

" Where is she?" Miguel asked finally and Kyra smiled.

" She lives in Lowell. Miguel, I do have to tell you she is living with someone," Kyra warned him.

" And you say she's changed?" he asked, a little angry.

" But she's happy! She's changed Miguel, she honestly has. Eric, that’s the guy she's with now, he's good for her. Not that you weren't, but from what I've seen, what I've heard, he takes care of her, the way she wants. He looks after her. He's her protector, and he doesn't travel so she doesn't have a need to be independent," Kyra told him.

" I was never very good at being a husband. I should have quit my job as soon as I married. Or at least stopped travelling."

" Miguel..."

" Alright, alright. I was a good husband but our personalities never matched. Better?" he asked wryly and she nodded, smiling.

" Here's her phone number and address Miguel. Calling her would be a good start. Going around to see her would be even better," Kyra told him and got to her feet.

" So where are you off to now, Miss Lets-Make-Things-Better?" he asked teasingly and she smiled, serene and peaceful.

" I need to talk to Jordan. I think its time we settled this, once and for all."

*****

What a lousy miserable...Jordan cursed angrily as he threw the remnants his dinner in the trash. Great time for you to be trying to cook Knight! He berated himself. Is it any wonder Kyra hasn't brought Emi around to see you yet? Probably thinks you an unfit father as well as an unfit husband.

Jordan sighed and opened the fridge, trying to decide what, if anything, looked appetizing enough to eat. He had to admit that while being married, he had taken for granted Kyra and her skills as a cook. She loved cooking for him, and he never once fully appreciated what she did. Realizing that he wasn't hungry after all, he closed the fridge door, and leaned heavily against it, staring at the photo of him and Emi he had taped to the door. It had been taken just before the incident with Paula. Every time he looked at Emi, he wondered how he had ever gotten lucky enough to be a father to his wonderful little girl. With everything he had done in his life, he didn't know that he deserved her, knew that he certainly didn't deserve Kyra. But he wasn't complaining. He had gotten lucky and yet he had been the one to blow it.

The doorbell rang then so he stopped his depressing musings and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the door. He was shocked, and more than a little hopeful, when he saw Kyra standing on the front step. But when he didn't see Emi, his heart sank.

" Kyra. Come in," he said, moving to the side so she could step inside.

" Jordan, we need to seriously talk," she said and his heart skipped a beat.

" About?" he tried to remain calm and casual. But he was scared to death that she was about to tell him something like he wasn't ever going to see Emi again. And he could handle anything but that.

" You. Me. Paula. That night at the hotel. This whole...situation," Kyra told him as she followed him into the living room. She sat down on the lounge chair and crossed her legs, watching him carefully.

" I told you what happened."

" I know you did. But...I went to see Paula," she told him and he stared at her in shock.

" You went to see..."

" Paula. Yes. Jordan, there's no need to look surprised you know. I am perfectly capable of seeing her and not killing her," Kyra said wryly and he sank heavily into an armchair.

" Why?"

" Why am I perfectly capable of seeing Paula and not killing her?" Kyra asked teasingly.

" No! Kyra..." he said, realizing she was teasing him.

" Oh lighten up Jordan!"

" I meant..."

" I know what you meant Jordan. I was just trying to lighten up this situation a little," she told him.

" Then tell me!"

"I needed to know why your story and her story didn't match."

" In other words, you wanted to see if I was lying or telling the truth."

" Jordan, you cheated on me with another woman. You can't honestly expect me to trust your word after that! I wanted to find out for myself what happened."

" So did you get your fill? Did Paula tell you all the gory details of her wild and passionate non-existent night with me?" he asked sarcastically and Kyra sighed.

" No need to act like that Jordan. A civilized, 'what did she tell you' would suffice," she told him and he felt chagrined.

" Sorry. What did she tell you Kyra?" he parroted and she managed to hide her smile. He was acting like a little boy.

" She told me that nothing happened that night, except for oral sex, which she initiated," Kyra said and she could feel Jordan's surprise.

" She said that?" he asked and she nodded," I never expected...I mean...then why did she tell Miguel something else?"

" To get attention. All Paula ever wanted was attention. Her depression and feelings of unworthiness all helped her act the way she did. Not that its an excuse mind you, but maybe it can help not only Miguel, but you understand why she acted the way she did," Kyra said.

" So you got the truth from Paula. What next?" he asked, hoping, waiting.

" I don't know."

" Then why are you here?"

" I thought we could talk. You talked to Anna without worrying about what she thought. I'm your wife, don't you think its time you talked to me that way as well?"

" Are you still my wife Kyra? I thought you'd filed for divorce."

" The divorce is pending."

" On what?"

" Today."

" So if what I tell you, if what we talk about today is what you wanted to hear, you'll stop the divorce and give me a second chance?"

" Well, yeah. That's pretty much the deal. Interested?"

" You knew I always was Kyra. There's no need to even ask me any more," he told her and she nodded," So what do you want to know."

" Why did you keep that night from me?"

" I felt guilty. Many people don't consider oral sex as sex, so therefore they don't consider it cheating if that's all they do. But I'm not those people Kyra. I do think that oral sex is sex and therefore by allowing Paula to do that, I cheated on you. Maybe I never technically slept with her, but I still cheated on you. I did something intimate and sexual with a woman who was not you, was not my wife. What could I tell you? 'Gee hun, guess what I did last night? I let another woman go down on me.' How would you have reacted?" he asked.

" Probably the same way I reacted when I thought you had slept with her," she admitted.

" Exactly. After Paula left the hotel room that night, I didn't sleep, couldn't sleep. All because I felt guilty about what had happened. I didn't tell you straight away in the hope that maybe I could find a better way to tell you, than being crude. But there was nothing I could say to diminish the guilt. I hated myself for cheating on you, I honestly did, but I didn't know what I could do to stop the guilt, the feelings I was experiencing," Jordan told her.

" Why didn't you tell me this before Jordan? Why didn't you at least try to tell me this?" she asked.

" You wouldn't listen. And would you have believed me anyway? You would have accused me of lying, of trying to play on your emotions, on your vulnerability. And that's the last thing I wanted to do to you. I'd already hurt you so bad, by cheating on you, I didn't want to cause you anymore pain. I love you far too much for me to do that," he said and she smiled.

" You love me?"

" Of course I do Kyra! Did you ever doubt that?"

" Yes, to be honest I did. When you told me about Paula, I thought you'd stopped loving me, stopped loving Emi and it cut me so deep I couldn't breathe, couldn't think."

" I have always loved you. Even though I did cheat on you, I never stopped loving you. It's not possible for me to stop loving you. I'm sorry that you ever thought I did."

" I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I'm sorry that I had to hear it from someone else before I gave you a chance. I'm sorry for a whole lot of things Jordan, but most of all for depriving you of your daughter for so long," Kyra told him.

" It wasn't your fault. I started it, by cheating on you, I deserved what happened."

" Not all of it. You never deserved..."

" Kyra..."

" I'm sorry for ever doubting you, I'm sorry for taking something that could have been solved so easily and turning it into..."

" Kyra!" Jordan's voice got her attention this time. She stopped speaking and looked at him, surprise in her eyes.

" What?"

" I should never have cheated on you. That's what started this whole issue. Everything you did was just a reaction of what I did. I don’t blame you at all."

" You should."

" Kyra," Jordan said, in a tone he normally reserved for Emi.

" Well I am sorry. I feel so guilty for cutting you off the way I did. It was unreasonable and I'll never forgive myself for doing."

" Kyra, if you can forgive me for cheating on you, I think you can forgive yourself for that one small matter," he said.

" How can you be so nonchalant about this?"

" I've been living with the guilt of cheating on you for almost eight months. I'm not nonchalant, I just know what's its like to be eaten up inside with guilt, wishing I'd done things different. It doesn't help and I don't want you being like that. It gets you nowhere, except going out of your mind wishing you could go back in time and change it all," Jordan told her.

" Do you think we can start again Jordan?" Kyra asked.

" Are you willing to take me back?"

" Yes."

" Can you trust me?"

" Yes."

" Do you love me?"

" Yes."

" Then I think we can start again. If you can forgive me, then I know we can work through this, that we can make our marriage better than it ever was," Jordan said and she smiled, a plan forming in her mind.

" So how about we start with a date?"

" A date?"

" Yeah. Just like we did when we first met. A date. Go to dinner, the movies, a drive...spend our night the way we used to, before we got married," Kyra said, her plan already fully formed.

" When?" he asked.

" How about tonight? I can book a table at our favorite restaurant, we can see a movie or go for a drive..."

" Can you get a babysitter for Emi tonight?" he asked.

" Anna will. Or Miguel. So yes, I can get a babysitter for her. So what do you say?" she asked, hoping he'd say yes.

" Okay. Tonight we go on a date."

*****

" It's been a very long time since we had some time alone. Tonight has been really great Jordan," Kyra told him as they drove back to his place. They had eaten dinner at the restaurant they had gone to on their first date, then to the cinema to see a latest release movie. But Jordan's mind hadn't been on the meal, or the movie. When he had picked Kyra up, her outfit had made his blood boil. It was a flamboyant backless red dress, cut obscenely low at the front. And from the look she had slid him as they walked to the car, she knew what the dress was doing to him. And during the night, his gaze kept straying to her, marveling at how lucky he was she was giving him another chance.

" I know it's been a long time. Maybe we should do this more often," he said, trying to keep his mind off her, her bewitching scent drifting throughout the car.

" That'd be a nice idea," she said and smiled at him, softly running a hand up his thigh. He swallowed hard and fought to control the car.

" Kyra..."

" Jordan?" She asked innocently, her hand straying towards his groin.

" I wouldn't suggest doing that while I'm driving. I just might crash," he said hoarsely and she laughed softly, brushing her fingers over him.

" You have no sense of adventure Jordan," she said. He saw her unbuckle her seatbelt and then move towards him. He glanced around him, checking to see that no one could see them as they drove along. Her hands were on his pants, running her finger along the zipper, feeling his hardness underneath the material," You know what I'd like to do Jordan?" as she asked this, she pulled the zipper down, slipping her hand underneath the material, noting with some disappointment that he was wearing boxer shorts.

" What would that be?" he managed to ask as her hand slipped into the access hole of his boxers and started caressing him softly.

" I'd like to do this," she whispered, freeing his penis from his boxers and leaning over his waist, taking him into her mouth.

" Kyra...oh my god!" he didn't get anything else out, as Kyra's mouth closed over the tip of his penis. He was glad that he was able to slow the car down, in fear of crashing. Her tongue swirled around him, taking more and more of his length into her mouth, until he was so deeply embedded in her mouth, he couldn't think straight. She raked her teeth over him, gently, making him arch his hips forward, as he felt her mouth leaving him," Kyra." His voice was husky, muttered and he felt her smile against his heated cock.

" Relax and enjoy Jordan," she whispered," I want to do this for you." She grasped the base of his cock gently and started moving it up and down, his hips moving against her hand to increase the friction between the two. She leaned forward again and touched the tip of her tongue to the tiny cleft at the tip of his penis, tasting the drop of fluid that leaked from it. Another drop appeared, and she used her finger to run it along the head of his penis, his moans and gasps telling her just how much he was enjoying this. She leaned forward and let her tongue roll along the tip of his penis, circling, moistening, tasting his desire. Slowly she began to run her tongue up and down his penis, along and around and up and down, tasting it, feeling its hardness, thriving on her power, its power, their power. Then her mouth opened and she took him, all of him, in and out, sucking him all the way in and out, and she knew she had his complete and utter attention, and all if his being was focused on her, her mouth. She knew by his groans, his thrusting hips, and she knew it by his penis - so rigid and intense, throbbing with need, glistening with moisture, sliding in and out between her lips. She stiffened her tongue as she slowly licked her way up, tickling, flicking, nudging, lapping it with her tongue until her mouth is fully open and she swallowed him deep, pulled him relentlessly into her throat...until his body tensed and he exploded in her mouth. His breathing returned to normal as she licked him clean and sat up in the seat, the smile on her face telling him how much she had enjoyed that.

" When I get you back to the house..." he threatened and she giggled lightly.

" I'll look forward to it Jordan, believe you me," she said. He didn't waste any time in driving back to the house he would only be staying in one more night. Nor did he waste any time in getting out of the car and locking it up. Kyra came around to his side and he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply, their tongues mating in a wild dance of passion.

" I've missed you," he whispered.

" Show me how much," she whispered back and squealed in delight when he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the house, two steps at a time. His shirt had been unbuttoned and her hands were roaming his chest by the time they reached the bedroom. He gently placed her on her feet and se smiled slightly, pulling the dress down off her shoulders, and then letting her hands drop to her sides, letting him do the rest. He reached out, his hands trembling, and pulled the dress down the rest of the way, groaning loudly when he saw she had nothing on underneath," If I had've known..."

" You wouldn't have waited," she finished and gasped when his mouth latched greedily onto a nipple, sucking it deep into his mouth, biting it gently. Her hands moved of their own violation, moving to his head, holding him to her breasts, soft gasps escaping her mouth as she accepted his pleasuring of her body. But he moved away from her so abruptly that she cried out at the loss of his mouth on her. He picked her up in his arms again and placed her gently on the crimson satin sheets. She smiled up at him as he removed his clothes, standing gloriously naked and proud above her. He hesitated, why, she didn't know, but she was desperate for him, reaching out to him, smiling softly at him, telling him with her actions how much she wanted him, how long it had been. He came to her, resting between her thighs, his hardness pressing against her softness, rubbing himself against her, holding back a groan as her nails dug into his back, her head thrown back, her mouth open in a soundless scream of pleasure.

" It's been too long," he whispered to her, nibbling her ear, running his tongue down her neck.

" It will never happen again," she said and he nodded, thrusting against her gently.

" Never," he muttered, thrusting deep inside her, until he was snugly inside her, resting at the very core of her. She whimpered when he stayed perfectly still, moving her hips in a silent plea. His thrusts were slow and steady first, deep and thorough, but as his pleasure intensified and her breaths started coming faster and faster, his thrusts became shallower and harder, pounding into her body, his love for her being expressed in the most physical, animal way he knew how. Her completion washed over her as she called his name, and with several more thrusts, he joined her, her name on his lips. He collapsed onto her, resting his head on her breasts as they caught their breaths, the silence in the room comfortable.

" I love you Kyra," Jordan broke the silence first. He raised his head and looked deep into her eyes, his love for her evident.

" I love you too Jordan," she said and he smiled.

" Tomorrow I move back home?" he asked.

" Yes. I don't want you away from me for a daylonger. Emi will be so happy to have you back home as well," she said.

" Good. And I do love you Kyra, more than words could ever express."

" Then show me how much."

*****

The End

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