Never Take The Place

By: Kasey

So he was gone. So what? He had made that choice. He was the one who wanted to leave everything they had built up together. A home, a family, a life...he had made the decision to leave, not her. She was here. She was willing to work it all out. But not him. No. Never him. Instead of being here, with his wife and daughter, he was in Vegas, getting a divorce so he could marry that sleazy bimbo he met at a topless bar. All she could give him was big boobs. She was nothing to him. So why was he getting a divorce to marry her?

Kasey sat at her dressing table, staring at the reflection in the mirror. What had happened to the bright, enthusiastic woman she had seen in the mirror only last week? Had Timothy taken that with him as well? What else would he take? He already had her heart, her soul, her love, her body...did he really need to take her life as well? In the week since he had walked out on her and his daughter, she had cried so many tears, until her eyes had felt raw and scratchy. She could barely get out of bed each morning and she knew, that if it weren't for the child sleeping in the other room, she wouldn't have bothered to go on. But for Alyssa's sake she had to. She had to get out of bed each morning, make breakfast each morning, drive Alyssa to school each morning. For her daughter she was alive, barely just breathing, surviving simply on air and what little food she could choke down. Her friends were helping her out, as much as they could, but it was so hard to see everyone so happy when she was so miserable. The green eyes that stared back at her were full or hurt, misery, anger, pain...so many emotions she had never felt until she had met and married Timothy James Gittins almost eight years ago. He was such a charming man, so sweet and loving. Well, he had been up until he had started staying out late at night and disappearing for days on end. But Kasey, being Kasey, had chosen to ignore the signs that the husband she loved more than anyone and anything, except her daughter, was less than happy in their marriage.

Her friends had all told her he wasn't happy but she had blithely ignored them and their warnings. Maybe she should have listened to them. Maybe she could have done something to change him leaving. And maybe, just maybe, he would still be here with here and Alyssa, the daughter he had loved and wanted so much.

So this time she was listening to them. She was getting ready to go out tonight. To a Christmas party at a friend of Suz's husbands. Suz was so happy with Donnie having been married for almost five years. Chrissy was happy with Joe. Suzy was happy with Jon...everyone was happy and here she was, tagging along to the party like some unwanted fifth wheel. Suz had insisted that she wasn't a fifth wheel, nor would she ever be. So here she was, leaving her little daughter in Alma's capable hands, along with Suz and Donnie's children, to go out to a party where she knew she wouldn't know anyone except for her friends.

*****

" Who is that?" Joe looked over at his friend who was staring at the woman by the fire. Joe felt the first signs of feeling unsure.

" Why do you want to know?" he asked Jordan. Jordan threw an irritated glance at his friend.

" I've never seen her before. Who on earth is she?" did Joe detect some interest in Jordan's oh-so-casual tone?

" A friend of the girls," was all Joe would say.

" Is she alone?"

" I don't think you should be interested in her."

" Why the hell not? If she's here alone all I want to do is dance with her. Its not like I plan on taking her home to bed," Jordan said and started to walk over to the woman.

" Jordan," Joe stopped his friend by placing a hand on his arm, "Please, be careful with her. Don't break her heart."

" One dance Joe. That's all," Jordan said and Joe let him go, reluctantly. Jordan moved slowly towards the woman who seemed so oblivious to everything and everyone. She had been standing by the fire all night, just staring into it. The moment Jordan had seen her he had been intrigued. She was wearing an emerald green cocktail dress that seemed to skim the curves she had. Her auburn hair, which was to the middle of her back, was loose and she had a sprig of mistletoe behind her ear. The way she was clutching that drink made him think it was her lifesaver.

" Excuse me?" he tapped her on the shoulder softly, so as not to startle her. She swung around and Jordan was struck by how intense her green eyes were. And how much pain was in them.

" Yes?" she said and he detected an accent in her soft voice.

" Would you like to dance?" he asked her, fully entranced by her now.

" Thank you," she said and he wondered why she was thanking him as he led her to the dance floor. The body he held in his arms was thin, too thin it seemed. She was pale beneath what make up she wore and he was still wondering at what or who had put that hurt in her eyes.

*****

" What's your name?" Jordan asked softly, as they danced slowly to the soft music playing.

" Kasey," the woman said and he suddenly knew who she was. This was the woman who's husband had just walked out on her to marry a stripper.

" I know you. Well, I don't 'know' know you, I've heard about you," he said and then realized he should've kept his mouth shut.

" Yeah. The one who's own husband walked out on," she said bitterly, trying to pull away from him.

" Hey, Kasey. I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you. For the record, I think he's a fool ya know? How he could just get up and walk away from his wife and daughter I have no idea. The man needs his head read," Jordan said and that got a small smile out of her," That's better. I don't like to see such a pretty woman so sad."

" Suz said you were a charmer," was all she said.

" Donnie's Suz or Jon's Suz?"

" Donnie's. Texas. Is she right about you Jordan? Are you a charmer?" Kasey asked, watching him with those intense green eyes of hers.

" That depends on who you ask. Some people will say yes, some people say no."

" What would you say?"

" No. I'm just naturally likeable," He said and grinned at her. She laughed softly and his heart lifted.

" Sure you are," she said as the music stopped. She moved away from him and started walking back towards the fireplace when he reached out and placed a hand on her arm.

" Stay with me?" he asked. She looked at him for a long time before nodding her agreement.

" All right," she said and he led her over to a quiet corner. Another song started up and he could feel her stiffen.

" Kasey? Is everything all right?" he asked as they sat down. She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. Was it this song that was making her upset?

" This song...it was our wedding song," she managed to choke out and he instantly felt like stopping the song. But maybe this would help her get over the loser who had walked out.

" This will be good therapy for you Kasey," Jordan said. She shook her head and continued crying. He felt so helpless, watching her cry. He could do nothing for her.

" It's not just this song. It's everything. This past week has been hell. All these people staring at me, whispering behind my back. I know what they're saying. Maybe it was my fault he walked out. Maybe I didn't do enough for him. Maybe I wasn't a good wife to him. Well damn it I was! I gave him everything I had in me...and more that I didn't have. I gave him the child that he wanted so badly. See, he didn't just walk out on me, he walked out on his children too!" Kasey said, tears streaming down her face. Jordan watched her, sympathy building inside him. Then a sudden realization dawned on him.

" You only have one child," he said slowly.

" I'm six weeks pregnant with his baby. He didn't even care when I told him. He just told me to get rid of it. He won't even pay child support for Alyssa. I haven't worked since we married. What can I do now? He was everything to me. He was all I ever needed, all I ever wanted. The fact that he's gone I don't want to accept," Kasey said and buried her face in her hands. Jordan watched her helplessly. What the hell could he do now?

*****

Jordan felt her pain as she cried. But what could he do? He didn't know her well enough to even suggest she forget him. But he couldn't stand to see her cry over some man who had no right even being loved this much by this woman.

" Kasey, I think I should go and get one of your friends," he finally said. She lifted her head and his heart ached at the pain in her eyes. For a little while there it had disappeared. While he had held her in his arms she had smiled, even laughed. And now she was back to crying.

" No. Please. I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable..."

" It's not that. Never that Kasey. It's just that I feel helpless here. I hate to see you spend so much time grieving over a man not worthy of your love."

" He is my child's father. Even if he did leave me, he is still her father," Kasey said stubbornly but he could see she was about to cry again. Jordan reached over the table top and covered her hands with his.

" Look at me Kasey," he said, softly, demanding. She looked him in the eye," Timothy does not deserve this. He walked out on you. You are still here, still willing to give him a chance he certainly doesn't deserve. I understand that he was your husband. And that at some point I gather you were both very much in love. But he's gone. Do you want him to have the satisfaction of you crying and mourning his loss when he's probably with his new wife, not even thinking about you?" Jordan knew he was being harsh but this was the only thing he could think to say to her. And if he knew her friends, they wouldn't be this harsh with her until after Tim had been gone for months and her baby was born. Kasey needed to here this, now, while she was learning to be by herself.

" You're being deliberately cruel to me," she said stiffly and tried to pull her hands away from him but he held on tightly.

" Harsh and honest, not cruel. You need to hear this. Your friends will be walking on eggshells around you for a while. And then one day they'll tell you this exact same thing. When will it hurt more? Now, or then, when you're finally getting over the pain?" Jordan asked and he could see Kasey thinking. Her forehead puckered and she seemed to have come to some kind of decision because her eyes cleared and the tears stopped.

" You're right of course. And I thank you for your honesty. As much as it hurts, it's the truth. Tim is not coming back. I need to accept that," she said and Jordan nodded.

" You'll learn to live without him. It won't be easy but you'll do it. I see a strength in you that I admire in women. Your children will be all right as well," he said and stood up.

" Where are you going?" was it his imagination or did she sound a little panicked?

" Its time I got back to my guests," he said.

" Stay. Please. Everyone else is busy and I feel kind of left out," Kasey said. Jordan frowned a little. He knew he should leave, knew that she was vulnerable right now. But something was compelling him to stay.

" I cant Kasey. My guests..."

" Jordan, I need to ask you something," Kasey said and bit her lip nervously. Well that did it for him. He was intrigued. What could she want to ask him?

" Five minutes," he said and sat back down. He watched as Kasey ran her fingers over the table top and imagined those same fingers running over his chest...what the hell was he doing? This woman was fresh out of a marriage! He couldn't think of her sexually! It felt so wrong...and yet, so right at the same time.

" Jordan..." Kasey started to say and then stopped.

" What is it?" he asked.

" I need to know...whether you would be...um...will you take me home?" she blurted out. Jordan stared at her. She wanted him to drive her home?

" Why?"

" I need a lift," she said, her eyes not meeting his.

" Okay," he said slowly and wondered if he would regret this.

*****

Kasey was quiet on the entire drive back to her place. Jordan wondered what she was thinking about, but didn't dare ask, in case she gave him an answer he wasn't ready for. But as she turned to him when he pulled into her driveway, he could read her thoughts in her clear eyes.

" Come inside with me. Alyssa is with Alma. We can have some coffee and..." a slight pause," Talk."

" I don't think that would be a wise idea Kasey," Jordan said.

" Why not?" she asked boldly.

" Because you're fresh out of a marriage and you're only looking for something that will keep you from being lonely tonight. And as much as I would like to say yes, I cant, in all good conscience, take advantage of you right now," Jordan said. Kasey fiddled with the strap on her dress, not looking at him.

" So you aren't interested in me? You wouldn't be taking advantage of me Jordan. All I want from you is tonight. I'm not asking for marriage or a father for my children," Kasey said and Jordan sighed.

" I just can't do it."

" Then why the hell did you bring me home? I thought you wanted what I wanted!" Kasey said and fumbled for the door handle. Jordan swore loudly as she stumbled out of the car and slammed the door. He didn't waste any time thinking of whether he should, or should not go after her. He was out of the car and running up the path before he realized what he was doing. He caught up to Kasey just as she was unlocking her door.

" Kasey, please. I thought that I could just take you to bed and forget about you in the morning. But there's something about you that makes me think twice. I know what you want. I want it too," he said and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him.

" Then why wont you do it?" she asked, her voice muffled by her position near his chest.

" Look deep inside your heart and tell me if you'll like yourself any better in the morning Kasey if you do sleep with me tonight," he said. Kasey was silent for several minutes and then he heard her sigh, ever so softly.

" I thought I could do it. It's been so long since Tim made love to me. It was all sex with him. I just needed someone to make me feel special. And you seemed like the perfect person. I wish I could do it and walk away in the morning but I cant. I just wouldn't have the heart," she said and Jordan nodded.

" See. It would have been like that for me too. I wish I could. Because I do want you. But there's no way I'll ever be able to be with you."

" Ever?"

" Maybe one day. Maybe in the future but not now. You're still recovering from Tim. You're pregnant. You need to sort out your life and find out what you need. And having one night stands will not help you get over Tim. You just need time, that's all," Jordan said.

" Can we be friends?"

" I don't think it would be possible. We'd both be thinking about sex. We would never be able to be close because there would always be sex between us," Jordan said and Kasey sighed. She placed her hands flat on his chest and pushed him away gently. As much as he knew what she was doing was the right thing, he missed the contact instantly.

" I thought so. Is there ever any chance..." Jordan silenced Kasey by placing a finger over her mouth.

" Let it come naturally if there ever is a chance. For now, I leave you with a kiss. And this thought. Tim still holds your heart. The minute he no longer has that position, call me. Until then, its goodbye," Jordan said, kissing her softly on the lips and walking away from her. Kasey watched him go, sorrow and determination in her heart and mind. And as she watched Jordan's car disappear in the night, she vowed that they would be together. One day.

Please let Kasey know what you thought of this story!