Again
By: Lara
“Again”
I heard from a friend today and she said you were
in town…suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind…how can I be strong
I’ve asked myself, time and time I’ve said…that I’ll never fall in love with
you again…
“Yes…okay…yes, I know where her favorite bib
is…yes, I know where the diapers are…will you GO?” Julie laughed as she shoved Lara towards the door. Lara adjusted the strap on her high-heeled
sandal and frowned. “Lara, I’ve taken care of Kate a million times for you.
She’s only ten months old, it’s not like she’s gonna nuke the house or
something.” Julie smiled down at the
baby she held, admiring yet again the amazing green-blue of her eyes. “Lance is gonna be pissed at me if you’re
late.”
“I know…I just hate going out without my
angel.” Lara kissed the baby’s
nose.
“I don’t think Lance would appreciate you attending
his awards banquet in clothes covered with baby food,” Julie pointed out,
giving Lara the once over. “He is gonna pass out when he sees you in that
dress.”
“Yeah,” Lara agreed, turning this way and that,
watching the silvery dress catch in the setting sun. “It IS great…cost me a fortune, but he’ll be fine with it once he
sees me in it.” She grinned, then grew
sober. “Jules…before I go…”
“What is it?”
Julie frowned at the serious look on her friend’s face.
“You know Josh’s picnic tomorrow? The one celebrating his platinum CD?”
“Um, yeah…” Julie said, waving her hand for Lara to
continue.
“He’ll be there.”
“Josh? I would hope so, I mean, it IS at his
house.”
“No…not Josh.
Chris.”
Julie leaned against the wall, instantly pale. “What?”
“Yeah…JC just called us this afternoon to tell
us…he wanted me to warn you.” Lara’s eyes were sympathetic. “If you don’t want to come along…”
“No. I’ll be fine. JC asked me to come, and I’m
coming.” Julie took a deep breath.
“You, however, need to GO, or your sexy husband will kill me.”
“He is sexy, isn’t he,” Lara said with a sigh as
she finally left.
Julie closed the door behind her, then put Kate on
the floor to toddle around. She pulled
a few toys out of the toybox, then sat on the floor, deep in thought. She spied some photo albums under the coffee
table and pulled them out, sighing as she flipped one open.
A wounded heart you gave, my soul you took
away…good intentions you had many, I know you did…I come from a place that
hurts, God knows how I’ve cried…and I never want to return…never fall again…
“Jules…guess what
guess what!” Chris said excitedly. “I have the chance to go over and intern at
one of the houses in Paris!”
Julie didn’t have to ask what “the houses” were;
she knew quite well. Ever since the
breakup of NSYNC, Chris had been very interested in fashion, not only from the
business side, but the designing side as well. He wanted FuManSkeeto to become
more then just a little business that catered to teenage girls. He wanted it to
grow…and this opportunity was the chance of a lifetime.
“That’s great,” Julie said faintly, sitting down on
a sofa. Chris picked up the phone to
call his friends, not even noticing her dismay. Lance, who had started his own record company and was doing very
well, was the first one he called. Justin was on tour in South America, JC was
in town recording his first solo album, and Joey was working on a movie in
Australia. She sighed and stood, trying
hard not to betray her feelings on her face.
“Julie?” Chris called. He found her laying on their
bed. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”
“No…I’m not sick.”
Julie sat up, wiping away a few tears.
“Baby…why are you crying?”
“I just…I can’t do this anymore, Chris. We’ve been together for three years now…and
we’re not going anywhere.”
“Yeah, we are! We’re going to Paris, baby!” Chris gave her a hug, and for the first
time, he noticed she wasn’t anywhere near as enthusiastic as he was. “What’s wrong?”
“Chris, I want a marriage…a family…look at Lara and
Lance. He’s twice as busy as you are, and they have a great relationship.
She’ll get pregnant any day now, and they’ll start a family. I want that, too.”
“Baby, someday…”
“Not someday, Chris. I love you so damn much…but I can’t wait for that.” Julie looked at him sadly. “I need to know now if you want this to be
forever.”
“I do…but this Paris thing…this won’t come around
again…I thought you could wait…” Chris took Julie in his arms, holding her as
she cried.
“I’ve BEEN waiting,” she reminded him gently. He
sighed, knowing she was right. He
cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.
The kisses intensified, and they were soon naked on the bed, problems
momentarily forgotten.
Making love to you felt
so good and oh so right…how can I be strong I’ve asked myself, time and time
I’ve said…that I'll never fall in love with you again…
“Julie, I’m really
sorry,” JC apologized as soon as she walked in the door with Lance and
Lara. “I had no clue, I would have
given you more warning. He just kinda
showed up early. I wasn’t expecting him home for another month or two.”
“It’s okay, Josh, God,” Julie said, grinning up at
him. “It’s not like you have to babysit me.”
“Well, I feel bad.
I know how hard you worked to get over all that bullshit. And I still haven’t forgiven him for it, by
the way.” JC kissed her forehead. After
Chris left for Paris, JC and Julie had become close friends. She always suspected that JC had had a
little crush on her, but he never acted on it and she never brought it up. “He’s here. Out back.”
“Well, I’ll stay in for a little bit,” she
said. “Congratulations, by the way.”
“Yeah.”
JC’s face lit up. “This IS
amazing. Justin should be getting here
soon…and Joey’s out back with Chris. Everyone’s here.” He wandered off to be a good host. Lara left Lance with some friends and came
to Julie.
“You okay?”
“As okay as I can be,” she said. “I haven’t talked to him in over a year,
Lara. What if I cry? What if I smack him?”
“What if you fall so hard you have to scrape
yourself off the floor?” Lara teased softly. “Jules, I know you’re still in
love with him.”
“No, I’m not. I’m…” Julie’s voice faded as she
looked at the door that led out to the back deck. There was Chris, his dark eyes darting around the room. When his gaze found her, he actually blushed
slightly.
“Wanna go outside with me?” Lara offered. Julie
shook her head.
“No. This
needs to happen.” She turned and headed down the hallway to JC’s study.
“Hi,” Chris said softly,
closing the door behind him. “God…Jules…you look better then I even
remembered.” He walked over and kissed her cheek. “Amazing.”
“You too. How’s Paris?”
“Incredible. I’ve
learned so much you wouldn’t even believe it.”
His smile was bright, but his eyes never left her face. “When I heard about JC’s album, though, I
had to come home.”
“Oh…so you came
home for JC?” She asked lightly.
“Yeah…and I had
to tie up some loose ends,” he replied, sitting on the edge of JC’s cluttered
desk. “So…how are you?”
“Good…busy…I hang
with Lara and Lance a lot…taking care of Kate.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen
pictures and can’t wait to see her in person. She is beautiful,” Chris
said. He fidgeted. “Look, Julie…I need
to tell you something. I’ve been having fun in Paris…but I miss you. It’s not right without you there.”
“And it took you
a year to tell me that?” Julie snapped back.
“I couldn’t find
the right way! I couldn’t decide the
best way of groveling.”
“Don’t,
Chris. I can’t have you do this,” she
said sadly. “I can’t have you saying all the right things and then leaving me.”
“I’m not…I mean,
I’m not leaving you. I love you, Julie…so damn much…and I was a dumbass to not
either drag your ass on the plane with me…or postpone the Paris thing. I could
have found a way.” Chris’ eyes were
begging. “Please, Julie, don’t say no. Be with me…marry me…anything…I can’t
lose you again.”
“Marry you?” Julie whispered.
“Yes…God…everyone
knew I was ready for that…except me.
Please, Jules…” Chris opened his
arms.
“Yes,” Julie
whispered as the tears started to fall.
She ran into his embrace. “Hold
me…never let go.”
“Never…never ever
ever again,” Chris promised, kissing her head and holding her tight.
Hold me…hold me…don’t ever let go…say it just one
time…say you love me…God knows I do love you again…
The End
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