Banter

By: Lara

“These things take freaking forever,” Lance complained, twirling his pen in his fingers.

“You just read too damn slow,” Chris remarked, erasing something then rewriting it.

“It’s better then acting like Speedy Gonzales on cocaine,” Lance retorted, making Julie giggle.

“Lara really took this thing, too?” Julie asked Chris. He nodded.

“Yep. She’s only sixty-three percent pure, and she told me that before she and I met, she was like ninety percent,” he answered proudly.

“Why did you have to print out the five-hundred question one? Why couldn’t it be the hundred question one?” Lance continued.

“Lansten, shut the hell up and finish or I swear to GOD I will answer it for you,” Chris snapped. Lance sighed, but he was quiet.

“Okay, here are the totals,” Chris said after they had all finished. “I am fifty-six percent pure. Jules is seventy-seven. Not bad. We’ll work on that. Lansten…” Chris began to laugh. “Eighty-six?”

“Sorry…I’m not a sexual deviant like YOU are,” Lance said, blushing slightly.

“It’s okay, Lance. I love you anyway,” Julie told him, turning her face up for a kiss. Lance gratefully gave her one.

Chris quickly scanned Lance’s yes and no answers. He made faces and rolled his eyes as he read. “Aren’t those answers supposed to be confidential?” Lance asked, grabbing for his paper. Chris moved it out of the way.

“Hmmm…interesting…” Chris said, pulling a crumpled paper out of his pocket. “This is Lara’s.” He laid the four pages side by side and compared them. “The ONLY one we all answered no to in the sex section was the threesome question.” He looked at them. “Never did the three thing?” Julie and Lance shook their heads. Lance moved over to curl up next to Julie on the sofa.

“Never really was interested. I mean, it’s a neat thought, with two women, but then I’d feel like I had to perform doubly well.”

“Dude, TWO WOMEN. Who cares about how YOU perform? It’s their job to please YOU,” Chris replied.

“Hardly,” Julie said quickly. “I think it should be mutual satisfaction for EVERYONE.”

“Lara and I discussed this once,” Chris began. Lance and Julie weren’t surprised. Talkative Lara and Chris discussed EVERYTHING. “She said that she LOVED the idea of two men, but that she would worry about being inferior to another woman if it was one man, two women.”

“That sounds like Lara,” Lance replied. “Always worried about what people think of her.”

“What do you think, Chris?” Julie asked.

“If we could find another woman who wouldn’t threaten Lara in any way, sure, I’d try it.”

“Do you expect the women to do something together?” Lance wanted to know. Chris looked at him strangely.

“Well, DUH, Lance, that’s what makes it extra-erotic. If they didn’t want to, though, that would be cool, too. I mean, I’d at least like them to kiss or something.”

“What about you? If there was another guy involved, would you do something with him if the girl asked?” Julie threw out. Chris looked pale.

“Well…I mean…”

“Lance?”

“Um…”

“That is such a double standard!” Julie leaned forward. “Look at all the straight pornos out there. Nine out of ten have at least ONE scene with two women getting it on. Where are the men?”

“How many pornos did you watch to get these ratios?” Chris asked.

Lance ignored him. “That’s different. Porn movies are created for men mostly, not women. Men don’t like watching men get it on.”

“Whatever. It’s still prejudicial,” Julie pouted. Lance kissed her cheek.

“You’re right, but that’s the way it is,” Chris said with a mock sigh.

“Would you ever try it?” Lance asked him. Chris answered with a silent shrug.

“How about you?” Julie asked Lance. His shrug mimicked Chris’. “I would. I’d like to try, but I’ve never had the opportunity.”

Chris laughed as Lance’s mouth fell open. “Well, I’ll need to discuss this with Lara. She’ll just have to come over here some night, then another night Julie can visit us.”

Everyone laughed, not quite sure how to take Chris’ statement. Even Chris didn’t know if he was joking. Lance’s bottom lip popped into a pout. “That’s not fair,” he said. “The women get the best of both worlds. How come we don’t get YOU some night, Chris?”

Chris got on his knees and waddled over to the sofa where Lance sat with Julie, a gleam in his dark eyes. He ran a finger from Lance’s nose to his chest. “You can have me any time you want, big boy,” he said coyly. He grabbed the front of Lance’s shirt and pulled the other man towards him, ending Lance’s forward motion with a kiss.

Julie didn’t know what to do. She wanted to scream. She wanted to drool. She wanted to pass out. She wanted to join in that amazing kiss. She loved Lance with all her heart, but she had always had a tiny crush on Chris.

Chris was first to pull away. “Whoa,” he whispered.

“It’s like…whoa,” Lance agreed with a grin. He stood and reached for Julie’s hand. “This won’t go any further here.” He headed for the bedroom, turning around in the doorway. “Coming?” He asked Chris.

Chris nodded and stood, amazed at the way Lance was taking the initiative. He could tell by the look on Julie’s face that she was just as shocked. Lance closed the door behind them. “Um…Lance? Is there something I should know?” Julie asked faintly. Chris silently seconded that emotion. He had spontaneously kissed Lance, not even thinking about the consequences. He DEFINITELY had not expected this.

Lance laughed. “No. This is all new to me. But someone had to start things rolling or we’d all chicken out.” He moved so Julie was between he and Chris. “Ya know, Chris is a surprisingly good kisser. Wanna find out?” He murmured in her ear.

“Whattaya mean, surprisingly?” Chris asked, glaring at his friend. Julie smiled up at him devilishly. Chris took her face in his hands and gently kissed her. Their lips met and she sighed. Chris felt fingers running through his hair and soon realized they belonged to Lance. The kiss intensified and Lance’s hands slid down to fondle Julie’s breasts through her shirt.

“You’re right,” Julie said breathlessly. “Damn good kisser.” Lance motioned towards her and he and Chris each took a side of her shirt, pulling it over her head. She shivered. Lance leaned in against her and they both removed Chris’ sweatshirt.

Julie turned around so her back was against Chris. He removed her bra and Lance swallowed deeply as Chris’ thick fingers traced across her nipples. Julie sucked on Lance’ bottom lip as she and Chris pulled off Lance’s shirt.

“Now what?” Chris murmured. Lance shrugged, then looked down at Julie.

“Ladies first,” he said with a crooked grin.

Julie backed away from them until her legs hit the bed. She sat down hard, staring up at her boyfriend and one of his best friends. Both stood with their arms crossed across their bare chests and smiled down at her. Chris threw an arm around Lance’s shoulder.

“Isn’t she pretty?” Lance remarked, and Chris nodded.

“Very. You’re damn lucky.”

“DAMN lucky,” Lance agreed. Chris reached a hand down to nonchalantly brush across Lance’s nipple, and Julie could see the goosebumps appear on Lance’s skin. Lance turned his face to Chris, and they kissed once more. She decided that there could NOT possibly be a more erotic sight.

“Lay back,” Chris said to her once the kiss had ended. Lance piled up some pillows and she slowly laid back. Chris quickly unzipped her jeans and they each took a leg, pulling the denim down along with her underwear. Julie was nervous. This was so odd, but she didn’t want it to stop. “Damn,” Chris said softly, his eyes raking over her.

“She likes to be kissed right here,” Lance informed him, placing his lips underneath her left knee.

“You mean here?” Chris placed an identical kiss on the right leg. Lance nodded. Sparks shot up Julie’s legs and she moaned. Chris slid his hand up to lightly rest on the upper inside of her thigh, and Lance followed suit. Two sets of lips slowly kissed a trail up her legs, and Julie was soon clutching the sheets in her hands. When each nipple was surrounded by a warm mouth, her back arched off the bed.

“Relax,” Lance said with a teasing smile, moving up to kiss her cheek. Chris did the same, and soon they were taking turns kissing her, occasionally turning to flicker at each other’s mouths with their tongues.

Julie was going crazy. She wanted to grab them both and just shove their hands, mouths, cocks, whatever, as close to her body as possible. “Lancey…Chris…please…stop teasing…” she begged.

“Teasing? This isn’t even close to teasing,” Chris said as he slid down her body. Lance followed him, an evil smile on his face.

Julie looked down at the dark and light heads eagerly licking between her legs. She decided that her previous thought about the most erotic thing she had ever seen was totally wrong. This…this was erotic. She could hardly even think about it. She closed her eyes and tried to deal with the intense feelings. Two tongues licking, teasing, sucking…two sets of fingers tracing and circling and plunging inside her.

“Oh…shit…Lancey…Chris…oh GOD!” She screamed as she came. She heard moans of satisfaction but wasn’t sure who was moaning when. The two men came up to embrace her, and she could taste herself in their kisses.

Julie dozed. Lance dozed. Chris lay awake, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Not only had he just finished participating in a threesome where none of the participants was his girlfriend, but he also had kissed his good friend Lance…and enjoyed it. It was weird but at the same time intriguing and sensual. The other odd thing was the way Lance had aggressively taken control of the situation. It was a side of Lance Chris had never seen.

Julie stretched and opened her eyes. “I’m thirsty. Want anything?” Chris shook his head. She got up and pulled on a robe. She bent down and kissed his forehead. “Smile. You have worry wrinkles on your forehead.” Chris smiled and she left the room.

He got up and went to use the bathroom. He returned in just his boxers. If he was going to nap, he wanted to be comfortable. Lance had buried himself under covers and pillows like a little bug. Chris slid under the covers on the other side of the bed. His foot touched Lance’s bare leg and he jumped. Obviously Lance had wanted to get comfortable as well. Lance peeked out from under his pillow.

“Hey,” Lance said.

“Hey,” Chris said almost shyly. “Jules…she’s incredible.”

“Yeah, she is.” Lance pulled his head up and rested it on his hand. “You okay?”

“Sure. Why not?” Chris answered quickly. A devilish smile crossed Lance’s face as he slid a bit closer to Chris.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Chris watched as Lance moved even closer.

“Still sure?” A soft finger reached up to caress Chris’ lips.

“Stop teasing him, Lance,” a voice said from the doorway. “What has gotten into you?” Julie leaned on the doorframe, smiling at her boyfriend.

“Don’t know.” Lance drew a finger up and down Chris bare chest. He slid that hand under the covers and let it briefly flitter across Chris’ erection before bringing it up to run through his hair. “Must be Chris.”

“Oh no…don’t blame me,” Chris said quickly, just as shocked at Lance’s weird change in character. He had never known Lance to be this sexual, but then again, there were a LOT of things he was finding out about Lance that he had never known.

Lance slowly climbed out of bed and sauntered over to Julie. Chris tried very hard to ignore the fact that Lance was very naked and very turned on. Lance threw an arm around Julie’s shoulder and kissed her cheek. “Don’t you think we should take care of him?” His green eyes studied Chris with mock sympathy, and Chris glared at him.

“I don’t need you to take care of anything, Lance. I…” he paused as the couple advanced on him.

“Yes, you do, Chris. Julie will take care of you down there, and I will take care of you up here,” he said soothingly, moving up to lay down next to Chris. “Close your eyes and relax,” Lance whispered. Julie slid her body up Chris’ legs, settling between them before starting to trail her fingers up and down over his boxers. Lance laid his head on Chris shoulder and drew patterns on his chest. Chris’ eyes fluttered shut and he moaned as he felt the very different hands moving across him. He lifted his backside so Julie could pull down the boxers, and he sighed deeply as her mouth surrounded him.

“Damn…Jules…” he gasped. He felt her smile against his skin.

“She’s good, isn’t she?” Lance murmured near his ear. He felt a warm tongue flick out against his earlobe. “You’re damn lucky I felt generous enough to share her with you.”

“Lucky…shit, yes!” Chris moaned as Lance’s teeth sank into his shoulder. He arched up deeper into Julie’s mouth.

“Enough teasing,” Julie said, moving up to straddle Chris’ waist. She sank down onto him and they both moaned.

“Open your eyes, Chris,” Lance told him. Chris’ dark eyes flew open.

“Oh GOD,” he gasped at the sight of Julie moving up and down on him.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Looks even better…” Lance whispered, sucking hard on Chris’ neck as his fingers played with Chris’ nipples.

“Oh…God…Lance…Jules…” Chris screamed as he grabbed Julie by the waist and pulled her down onto him hard. She felt him pulse inside of her, and she waited until his body relaxed before moving over to snuggle behind Lance. Chris panted for breath. Lance and Julie smiled at each other and shared a tender kiss. “Holy shit!” Chris glanced at the clock and sat straight up. “I told Lara I’d be home an hour ago. How the hell will I explain this?”

“Sorry,” Julie said immediately, frowning. Chris smiled at her.

“It’s okay.” He pulled on his clothes. “I’ll just have to borrow Lance for her some night.”

“Deal,” she replied, smiling back.

“Hey!” Lance protested. “I’m not just some piece of meat, here.”

“I’ll have to explain this SOMEHOW,” Chris said in a teasing tone.

“No, you’ll have to explain that hickey I just gave you,” Lance said, grinning from ear to ear. Chris looked in the mirror and gasped.

“You are so dead meat, Bass. Another time. Your ass is mine.” Chris glared at him as he left the bedroom.

“That’s what I’m counting on, Kirkpatrick!” Chris heard as he hurried down the stairs. Chris froze, looked up towards the bedroom, then shook his head. No way.

The End

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