Break

By: Lara

I walk alone...I am alone...I think alone...I’ll die alone...Don’t think I can make it on my own...I think I need someone to help me...

“Hey, Kevin, didn’t expect to see you here.” Nick gave Kevin a hug. “Hey there, Kristin...” Nick hugged Kevin’s wife as well.

“Gotta keep up appearances, bro,” Kevin said, his green eyes wandering around the room. “Plus it’s you. I wouldn’t dare miss one of your parties.”

“I’ve heard THAT before.” Nick rolled his eyes. “Anyway, the booze is in the kitchen, feel free to eat or drink or smoke whatever you want...just drop your keys in the basket over there, okay?”

“Sure thing, bro.” Kevin slapped Nick on the back and moved through the room. He obediently dropped his car keys into the basket on the end table.

“What are you doing?” Kristin asked him. Kevin sighed.

“What does it LOOK like I’m doing? I plan on getting good and fucked up drunk...and I am NOT gonna drive. Are YOU gonna play DD tonight?”

“No...I plan on drinking. I thought YOU’D be driving.”

“Kristin...we can crash here...Nick won’t care. He has the basement ready for it.”

“I am NOT staying in this house tonight. I’ll just find someone else to take me home.” She turned on one heel and flounced off to the kitchen.

Such is life...so sad but true...kill everything that’s close to you...try to decide what not to do...you know you cannot control me...

“So...Kev...how are things really?” Nick said. “Since we’re done getting that greatest hits thing together, I feel like I hardly see you.”

“Well, I’m holding it together...but barely,” Kevin admitted, taking a long swallow of his beer as he watched Kristin flirt with some guy he didn’t know. “Who is that?”

“Who?” Nick watched where Kevin pointed. “Well, that’s...well...I have NO clue, actually,” Nick said, laughing. Kevin sighed wearily.

“I need another beer,” he said. Nick put a hand on his arm.

“I have something better than beer. Interested?”

Kevin looked at Kristin. He SHOULD watch her. He SHOULD keep an eye on her, make sure she didn’t leave without him. Suddenly, though, he didn’t care. It was time to live HIS life for once. “Yeah.”

“Down the hall, first room on the right. Just keep it in that room...and you can have whatever you want,” Nick told him. Kevin nodded and started down the hallway.

I don’t see the point in going any further than we’ve gone already...can’t keep my hands steady...sadness everyday for me...you can’t take that away from me...all these fuckin’ thoughts inside my head are almost more than I can take...you push and pull on me...you gonna keep on pushin’ till I break

Kevin stared at the ceiling of the small den, a peaceful smile on his face. Nick was the best. He was the best little brother Kevin could ever ask for. Sure, he could be a big clumsy dickhead who got all the girls and all the pictures in the magazines...but he knew what Kevin needed. Kevin giggled as he realized that Nick was taking care of HIM for once. Kevin drew a line through the dust of white powder on the table, writing his initials, then scribbling them out.

“Hey!” A guy next to Kevin shouted. Kevin didn’t know the guy, but he amiably apologized. “Dude, that’s expensive shit. Just because you wanted the other stuff doesn’t mean you need to be playing with this!” The guy greedily scooped up the powder and moved away from Kevin. Kevin frowned, then tried to regain his earlier thought.

Nick...yeah...Nick. Nick taking care of him. Kevin actually missed taking care of the other guys. Now all he had to do was take care of himself and Kristin. Yeah, right. Kristin. Fucking Kristin. She didn’t care about where they had to be or what they had to do. She was too busy with her own life to include him in it now that he was home for good. Nick...AJ...Howie...Brian...his little brothers. They respected him. They knew what he said was usually right...they knew he’d take care of him. Now that was gone...and Kevin didn’t know what he was supposed to do with his time.

You think you control me...have no chains to hold me...only thing that saves me...voices just might kill me...

“Kevin, I need you to listen to me!”

Kevin groaned as he heard Kristin’s voice in his ear.

“Kevin, I need more money in the account.”

“Kevin, I need to go out of town next week for a movie thing.”

“Kevin, I’m sick and tired of your friends always being over here. The Backstreet Boys broke up, for God’s sake!”

“Kevin, don’t you love me?”

“Kevin...”

“Yo...dude...it’s me, Nick. Kevin...”

Kevin groggily shook his head. “Yeah...Nick...”

“I thought you should know that Kristin rolled outta here with that guy.”

Kevin slowly stood up, the room spinning around him. “Is driving?”

“What?”

“Is he driving?”

“Yeah...but he didn’t drink....he wasn’t here that long.”

“Fine.” Kevin stretched and hugged Nick.

“C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.” Walking surprisingly well for someone incredibly intoxicated, Nick helped Kevin upstairs to his own bed. “See ya tomorrow, Kevin.”

“Tomorrow,” Kevin mumbled, realizing tomorrow would be no better than today. Sleep overcame him, however, before he could think about it any longer.

The End

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