From This Moment On

By: Stephanie Woodworth

I’ve heard ‘five minutes to show time’ so many times that I’m not nervous anymore; that is until today. I’m not even performing today, but I dread when the five-minute time check is going to come.

As I walk around the small room I wonder what she’s doing. How she’s handling all the stress. Oh god what if she’s not stressed. Or worse yet what if she’s having second thoughts. A rap on the door interrupted my thoughts of worry.

“Up to a visitor?” Justin asked through the door.

“Sure c’mon in.” Justin walked in wearing the simple black tux that Stef had insisted that we all wear. I smiled at Justin’s matching wardrobe. Not the first time we’d all looked the same. “What’s up, J?”

“It’s my turn to come check on you. How ya holding up?” Justin played with some of the alter boy stuff sitting around the room while I stood frozen with my hand clenched at my side.

“Fine. I’m doing just fine.”

“Sure Lance, you look awfully pale for fine.”

“I really am doing fine.” I said walking over to the restroom and glancing in the mirror. I do look fine. “Have you seen Stef?”

“Nah, the basement is locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Even Alyson won’t tell me what her aunt is doing.”

“That’s different. Ever since we meet the two of them Alyson has followed you around like a lost puppy.” I sat down in a folding chair and drank a sip out of my water bottle. “Are there a lot of people out there yet?”

“No man, it’s still early. We’ve got pictures yet.” Justin hung the robe he’d been trying on back up in the closet. “Well I’ll go back out and leave you alone. Good luck man,” Justin added giving me a hug.

“Yep, see ya later.” I took another sip of water and breathed in a deep breath. “Am I doing the right thing?”

“You’d better be or we’ve got a great deal of people coming here that will be very disappointed.” JC said entering the room.

“Eavesdrop much?”

“Nope it’s just my turn to check on you.” JC pulled up a chair next to mine. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I said with a smile. “I’m marrying the woman of my dreams.”

“Yeah it’s a good thing that you saw her first or I’d have definitely asked her out.” JC chuckled. “Don’t tell Bobbee though, you know how she gets.”

“Yeah. So what should I expect about being married?”

“It’s all new to me too.” JC had married Bobbee only a year before and they still thought they were in their honeymoon stage. “Stef’s a great gal. You guys are going to be very happy.”

“Thanks Jace, I’m glad that you’re sharing this day with me.” I reached over and hugged the man that was like my own brother.

“No place I’d rather be my friend.” JC stood and looked out the window. “It’s going to be a beautiful day.” He turned to leave and added, “Good luck Lance.”

JC left me alone once again, but not for long. The next knock on the door was Chris. “I can’t believe you let her dress us in these monkey suits,” he complained.

“They aren’t that bad.”

“We’ll at least ours don’t have the lovely tales that yours does.” Chris was trying to get my mind off the wedding and I was grateful.

“Just be happy that I talked her out of the canes and top hats.”

“She wanted top hats and you said no.” Chris got a pouty look on his face. “That would have been so cool.”

“Yeah sure it would’ve been.”

“Any chance that we’ll have a little Lancey running around real soon?”

“Not right away. Stef wants to wait at least a year. How are Danielle and Sonja doing?”

“Sonja’s growing like a weed. Dani’s upset that she couldn’t make it here for the wedding.”

“I’m sure she’ll get with Stef and see the pictures. I don’t think she need to fly with only giving birth two weeks ago.”

“That’s what I told her. I hated leaving them, but I wouldn’t have missed today for anything.” Chris reached out for Lance to hug him. “You’re like the younger brother I always wanted.”

“Thanks Chris.”

“Am I interrupting something?” Joey asked standing in the doorway.

“No I was just leaving. See you in a bit for pictures.” Chris said leaving the two men alone.

“How are you holding up?”

“Great. I’m fine.” Lance said trying to reassure himself as much as Joey.

“Why don’t we take a walk outside for a minute or two.” Joey directed Lance over to a back door out of the church. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“I thought it might rain.”

“Not a cloud in the sky now.” Joey headed toward the rectory and a bench that sat under a tree. He brushed it off so we could sit. “It’s perfectly normal to be nervous. Hell if I ever get married someone is going to have to give me Valium to remain calm. I can’t believe that you are so calm.”

“It may look that way on the outside, but inside I’m a mess.” Lance stood and paced. “What if she backs out a the last minute? What if we can’t work things out? What if she really can’t handle me not being home much?”

“C’mon man, Stef is an adult. She knows what’s she getting herself into. She loves you. Sure it’s going to be tough at times, but don’t you think it was tough for our parents? And look they’re still married. So are Stef’s.”

“You right,” I said sitting back down next to him. “She’s already warned me that once I’ve married her that she’s mine for life. No easy ways out. I want to get rid of her, she’d better be dead.” Joey gasped at my harsh comment. “She also said that she was kidding, but I really doubt that she was. She’s dealt with divorce with her sister and how rough it was on Aly and the boys. She told me divorce would never be an option for us.”

“Hey guys, it’s time for pictures!” Keaton, Stef’s older nephew, yelled. “Hurry up or my mom said she’d come pull you in by your ears.”

“Have I told you how happy I am that you’re my best man?” I asked as we walked back into the church.

“I’m just honored that you asked me.” Joey said stopping and giving me a hug.

“You know we’re a huggy bunch of grown men.” I teased as we entered the church. “I have the best four friends that anyone could ever wish for.”

*~*~*

“We’ll not that his friends are of any help, but Lance is dressed and they are getting their pictures taken.” Gina informed me returning to the basement of the church in a huff. “Men are worthless I tell you.”

It hadn’t been that many years ago that we stood in this very room preparing for her wedding. Giggling young girl that didn’t know any better. At 28 I know what I wanted out of life, not saying that the life Gina leads is bad, I just don’t want to wake up one day with three kids and a husband I can no longer live with. I’d already taken the liberty of informing Lance that I was very serious about the vow mentioning till death we part.

“How are Keaton and Kaleb holding out?” My nephews were sharing the title of ring bearer and they looked absolutely adorable in their little tuxes.

“Keaton still thinks it’s awesome that the guys for NSYNC are dressed like him. Kaleb doesn’t know any different.” Gina touched up her lipstick before continuing on. “Nick has the boys under control for now.” Thank God for our brother Nick, he seemed to fill in as ‘dad’ when needed for the boys. Not that Scott, their dad wasn’t present in their lives, he just wasn’t there everyday.

“Aunt Stef!” Alyson yelled coming into the room we were using to get ready. “Aunt Stef,” she yelled again even though I was sitting right in front of her. “Justin said that he was going to come down here whether or not you said he could.” We’d gotten Alyson dressed in her miniature version of the bridesmaid’s gown and gave her the job of standing guard at the door to keep the men out. Not that I was worried that they’d come down, but more to keep her occupied.

“Al, he’s too busy right now with pictures to try to sneak down here. Why don’t you go up to the church and make funny faces at the guys.”

With that Aly ran out the door and back up the stairs. In her wildest dreams I don’t think Aly ever thought that she’d actually get to meet the members of NSYNC, let alone that her aunt would marry one.

“She looks so grown up,” I gushed after she left.

“She wanted to wear high heel shoes like the rest of the bridesmaids.” Gina said.

“I heard that there was a wedding today,” one of my best friend’s, Shannon interrupted, coming into the basement. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m great, just great. Did you see Lance?”

“Yeah. He’s handsome in his tux.”

“Looks a bit nervous if you ask me,” my other best friend, Stephanie added.

“Nervous?” I questioned.

“Just the normal stuff. Remember how nervous my Chris was the day we wed, he left his shoes at home.” Steph laughed trying to get my mind off her comment.

“Oh and the guys looked great in their tuxes. I still can’t get over how much your brother has changed over the years. He’s such a hunk now.” Shannon commented.

I nodded trying to regain my composure. What if Lance was having second thoughts? What if he didn’t want to marry me anymore? I stood and paced around the room picking up some toys that had fallen off the shelf and trying to busy myself.

“Are you about ready to get in your dress?” Staci, Lance’s sister, asked joining us in the church’s nursery.

“Huh?” I asked turning to face her.

“The photographer is about done with the guys pictures and we’re next. You need to get dressed.” Staci prodded, helping Gina get me dress off its hanger.

I looked down at my worn out jeans and button down shirt. Maybe I should just run, maybe I’m doing the wrong thing by marrying someone famous.

“C’mon Stef, you can’t be late for your own wedding.” Shannon said walking up and grabbing the toys out of my hand. “You can play with the toys later,” she teased.

The four women helped me into the gown that I’d chosen. Well I guess the gown that Lance insisted that I have custom made. What nonsense. I wasn’t planning to ever wear it again, but he paid almost as much for it as I did for my first car. I did have to admit that ever time I tried it on it left me breathless. I’d never in all my childhood dreams imagined a dress like this. The fitted bodice had a sweetheart neckline and was strapless. I was glad that I was blessed with the chest to keep the dress in place. The flowing shirt was enhanced with delicate beading and the cathedral length train made the dress even more elegant. I’d opted for a simple veil so that it wouldn’t take away from the dress. Shannon had found a great tiara to hold it in place and was helping put it in my hair.

“Do you think we should have eloped?” I asked shocking everyone in the room, including myself. Lance and I had discussed running off to Mexico or some place tropical and getting married. Until today I thought that I’d picked the right choice. Every little girl wants the big church wedding, don’t they?

“What are you taking about?” Gina asked.

“What if I shouldn’t be getting married this way? What if we have problems with fans? What if Lance has changed his mind?”

“I can assure you that Lance hasn’t, and won’t change his mind.” Staci said wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “My baby brother is upstairs looking very handsome and grown up and is ready to make you his wife. Forever.”

I started to cry. “Don’t or you’ll mess up your make-up.” Steph said rushing for tissues.

“You’re supposed to cry on your wedding day,” I said through the tears.

The door opened and the photographer walked in. She snapped a few pictures of the girls fixing my make-up and from that moment on I no longer had time to doubt or worry.

With the picture over and the church filling up with guests I returned to the nursery to patiently await my cue.

*~*~*

I waited anxiously on the other side of the door listening to the girls giggling during their pictures. It took every ounce of self-control I had to not open the door and sneak a peak at Stef.

It had grown quiet and I wondered what was going on when the door swung open and in bounced Chris and the rest of the guys.

“Ready?” Chris asked.

“Uh huh,” I barely uttered. I could hear the music begin and knew that it wasn’t going to be much longer now.

“We’ve got to run or well never make it to the back of church on time,” Justin said going to leave. “Good luck.”

“See ya in a bit.” Chris said before joining the rest of the groomsmen in the back of the church.

Joey was the last in the room. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks Joe.” I was running through all the finally preparation stuff. “Oh no! The rings!” I about screamed.

Joey pulled them out of his pocket. “I’ve got them. Clam down.” Joey smiled. “I’ve got to go.” He hugged me one finally time before going to the back of the church.

I watched at Justin and Chris walked to the front of the church to pull the runner down the isle. The song was just about to change to the one that the mother’s would walk down the isle to. Joey was seating my mom and Nick was seating his. This was it. It was time.

I stood in the doorway watching as our mother’s lit the candles that we’d use to light the unity candle.

I glanced across the church and saw Father Phil give me the sign that it was time to move to the front of church. I straitened my jacket one last time and walked slowly out of the room to the bottom stair where I’d wait for Stef.

The bridal party slowly made it’s way down the isle to strains of “Kissing You”, while I stood staring at the large gathering of family and friends. Stef’s suggestion of eloping was beginning to make more sense. Even though the church was huge, it seemed to be closing in on me. I thought I could actually hear my heart beating in my ears.

Gina and Joey were the last to walk down the isle and as they left the back vestibule of the church the doors closed awaiting the change in music.

*~*~*

“Time to go Stef,” I head my mother say.

I took one last look in the mirror and tried not to cry. A fairytale. That’s what my life had become. Every little girl dreams of her wedding day and hopes for the fairytale wedding, I was actually having my fairytale wedding to my very own Prince Charming. I thought of Lance and the fact that since we wet there were a great deal of times when we were apart for days at a time, not seeing him since he kissed me goodnight at my parent’s house last night was killing me.

“Let’s get a move on Stef or you’re going to be late for your own wedding.” Gina said handing me my bouquet.

I carefully walked up the staircase into the back vestibule of the church where I stood off to the side so no one could see me. The guys one by one came up wished me well and hugged me. I felt like I was gaining four brothers with Lance and in a way I was.

Joey was the last. “Welcome to the NSYNC family, Stef.”

“Thank you Joey.” He hugged me.

“Lance is one lucky man. And you my dear are absolutely gorgeous.”

I blushed and watched as Joey went to stand in the line to make his entrance into the church. As much as I tried I couldn’t peak a look to see if I could spot Lance.

“I love you very much Stephanie.” My mother said hugging me one last time before Nick walked her up to light the candle.

One by one the couples left the back of the church and headed toward the alter. My dad joined me in the stairwell.

“Ready sweetie?”

I nodded trying not to cry. I knew what was coming next and it took every thing that I had not to let on by crying. “I love you daddy,” I said smiling.

“I love you too and I’ve very proud of you.”

Gina and Joey left and the door swung shut. “Ready?” the church’s wedding consultant asked.

I smiled, nodded and took the arm my father offered me. We took our place and waited for the simple change of song. Against the churches better wishes I demanded that I get to play this song. Before the doors opened the beginning of “Butterfly Kisses” started. I could no longer hold back the tears as I stared up at my dad who also had tears in his eyes.

The doors opened and I stood there as the wedding verse in the song played before the orchestra would begin Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary.

My eyes looked on Lance’s as I began my slow walk down the long isle. It was as if through our looked gaze we could read each other’s very hearts. In all my life I’d never been more in love than that very moment.

We stopped just short of where Lance stood and my father lifted my veil to kiss me goodbye. He gave my hand to Lance and took his seat in the front pew with my mother.

Father Phil began the opening prayer for the Catholic mass and I could hardly pay attention to all that was going on around me. I was nervous. I was anxious. I was deeply in love with the man holding onto my hand with a death grip.

Finally Father Phil began the wedding vows, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.”

I waited hoping that no one would object. My worst fear in the last couple of weeks was that a lunatic fan would show up and object at the ceremony.

After a suitable pause Father Phil continued, “I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that if any persons are joined together other than as God's Word doth allow, their marriage is not lawful.”

I looked at Lance and he smiled and squeezed me hand. I turned back to face Father Phil as he went on.

“James Lance, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”

Lance quietly answered, “I will.”

“Stephanie Marie, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”

“I will.”

“Please join your right hands together.” I passed my bouquet off to Gina and took hold of Lance’s right hand.

Father Phil turned to Lance, “Please repeat after me.”

Without waiting for Father to continue Lance began, “I James take thee Stephanie to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.”

Once again Father said, “Please repeat after me.”

I knew my line by heart also and began, “I Stephanie take thee James to my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

Father asked for the ring and Joey placed them on the dish to be blessed. Praying over the simple bands that we’d picked out for each other Father Phil explained how like the rings our love should be unending.

Father handed Lance my ring and said, “James, please repeat after me.”

Lance took my had and repeated the words that Father Phil had said, “With this ring I thee wed: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

I too repeated my lines as I slid the band onto Lance’s third finger. “With this ring I thee wed: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

As the mass ended it came time for the final blessing. “Please join your right hands.” He began, then read from his book, “Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.”

“Forasmuch as James and Stephanie have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a Ring, and by joining hands; I pronounce that they are Man and Wife, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

He closed his book and said, “Please turn and face your family and friends. I’m very delighted to present Mr. and Mrs. James Lance Bass.”

The crowd erupted and the orchestra began the Notre Dame fight song, something I’ve always thought would make a great recessional at a wedding. I wasn’t wrong. Lance grabbed my arm and we made our way down the isle and onto the rest of our lives.

The End

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