The List

By: Stephanie Woodworth

Lance continued to look on as Lanie talked to Johnny Rzeznik. Why was it that he wanted to go over there and beat the hell out of him?

“What’s got your boxers in a bind?” Joey Fatone asked, taking the seat next to Lance’s at the bar.

“Nothing,” Lance said blowing out a huff of air. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you’ve been sitting at this bar in a pissed off mood all night.” Joey looked over at the rest of his friend that were gathered around a table in the VIP section of the hottest club in Orlando. “You’ve been drinking like someone is going to stop making Jim Beam and you’ve hardly said a word to anyone except the bartender.”

“Well maybe I like the bartender better than the rest of you,” Lance said before gulping down the rest of his drink and quickly ordering another.

“How many does that make?”

“Who the hell’s counting?”

“So what’d she do?”

“Who?”

“Delaney?” Joey glanced over to where Lanie sat chatting a mile a minute to the lead singer from the Goo Goo Dolls. “She’s been talking to him all night. Hell she didn’t even make it to our table to tell us hello. What’s up with that?”

Lance glanced over at the woman he loved more than life itself. Joey was right she was talking nonstop. He loved to watch her talk like that, so animated. Her hands were flying all over as she spoke, a trait that he loved. One time he dared her that she couldn’t go a whole day without talking with her hands. She lost, but not before they found a new use for the scarf he’d tied around her hand to keep her from using them. It was one of the most erotic nights of their short marriage.

Lance had met Delaney right here in this very club. At the time she’d been dating the owner and worked here as a bartender, but as soon as she’d seen Mr. Bass she knew that she was with the wrong guy. She broke up with her boyfriend and waited a whole forty-eight hours before tracking Lance down to ask him out. Lance was shocked; he’d never been pursued so strongly by a female in his life that wasn’t a fan. He’d fallen for her at first site and they’d been together since.

They’d had a small ceremony at his house in Mississippi a few months after they’d met and now Lanie went on tour with the group or anywhere her husband was. She worked for his companies and did whatever she could to help Lance out.

Lately they’d been based in Orlando while the guys wrote their next album. Tonight was a typical night off for the guys and they’d decided to hit the club scene.

“He’s on her list,” Lance finally answered.

“What list?” Joey asked confused.

“We came up with lists after watching a Friend’s episode one night.”

“You mean like a list of people that you can cheat on each other with.” Joey was surprised that Lance would go along with something like that. “And you think she’s going to go through with it?”

“She’s been taking to him for nearly two hours.” Lance downed his new drink and the bartender was quick to replace it with another.

Joey looked over at Lanie, then back at Lance. “Hell, don’t put up with it. Go after your wife.”

“That wouldn’t be fair.”

“Why not? Have you ever cheated on her?” Lance shook his head. “And if you had a chance to sleep with any of the women on your list would you?” He shook his head no again. Joey wondered whom Lance even picked for his list. “Hey, who else is on her list?”

“Jakob Dylan, Jon Bon Jovi and Bryan White.”

“Different group of men.” Joey thought for a minute. “Lance, they all play guitar.”

“Yeah, I know. I asked her if she wanted me to learn and she said no. I think it’s just a coincidence.”

“So who’s on your list?”

Lance chuckled. He didn’t take the whole list thing seriously. “Kelly Rowland, Pink, Faith Hill, Ananda Lewis and Britney.”

“As in Justin’s Britney! Man, don’t ever mention that to him or you might not live to see tomorrow.” Joey had to laugh. “Go get your wife an take her home. Hell, if she’s really interested in Rzeznik maybe she’s horny.”

Lance punched Joey in the arm. “Watch it, that’s my wife you’re talking about.”

“What, not like you weren’t thinking it too. Go over there and get her.”

“No, I’m not. I’m going to let her come back to me. I’m not going to interfere, just in case she does want to use this list thing.”

“Fine. I’m going to go back over with the guys. If you continue to drink like this at least let a cab drive you home.”

“I will.” Lance continued to sulk at the bar. When Lanie finally sought him out at quarter to two he was extremely drunk.

“Honey,” she placed a hand on his arm. “What are you doing over here all by yourself?” She looked into his eyes and could tell he was three sheets to the wind. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Enough,” he slurred.

“I’ve been looking for you. Joey finally said you were sitting up here all alone. Did you have a fight with one of the guys?”

“No.”

“Then what’s wrong,” she asked softly grabbing hold of his hand. “Are you upset with me?”

“Why’d you sit with him all night?”

“Johnny?”

“Yeah,” he said turning toward her. “He’s on your list. Did you want to go home with him?”

Lanie laughed. “My list? You mean that silly list we came up with. I’d never actually sleep with anyone but you.” She smiled at him. “Well maybe Justin,” she added with a giggle.

“Justin?” Lance asked then slammed his head down on the bar. “You’d cheat on me with him?”

“Lance, I was just kidding. I’d never cheat on you and you had better never cheat on me.”

“You really don’t want to sleep with him?”

“No, I love you silly,” she said running a hand down his face.

“He has to keep his head up ma’am or he has to leave,” the bartender said to Lanie.

“Okay.” She helped Lance sit up. “C’mon big boy, let’s get you home and in bed.”

Lanie stopped by the table and said goodnight to the guys and their dates before helping Lance to their car. Once he was buckled in and she was behind the wheel Lance turned to her and asked. “Does this mean that I can’t sleep with anyone on my list?”

“Yes,” she said putting the car in reverse.

“Not even Britney?” Lance asked.

“Especially Britney,” she paused to think about it. “Unless she brought Justin for me.”

“Oh no you don’t, not Justin again,” he said groggily.

“Are you sure, maybe we could talk them into an orgy,” she smiled to herself hoping to get a response out of him. Instead when she looked over to him, he had drifting off into an alcohol induced sleep.

By the time she got him home he was completely passed out. It took all she had to get him into the house and into their bed. “Goodnight Lance,” she said tucking him in.

“Night,” he whispered as she kissed him on the forehead. “I love you, Lanie.”

“I love you too, Lance.”

The End

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