I Can't Believe It's Over

By: Tracy H.

"I can't believe it's over," you mumble, collapsing onto your bed. You had flown home to Boston just a mere day ago and had been filled with such excitement and anticipation. You had been separated from your man for about 3 months, and hadn't talked to him in about 3 weeks, and were anxious to see him again...to hear his sexy voice again. Needless to say, you were less than thrilled at the scene you had witnessed a few hours before.

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Strolling along through the Common, your heart had pounded with the sight of his muscular back. He was unaware yet of your presence, leaning thoughtfully against a lamppost, hands in the pockets of his well-fitting blue jeans. As your step quickened, he slowly turned around. The look in his eyes as he spotted you stopped you cold. His beautiful brown eyes were hard as steel. He slowly and deliberately turned his back on you.

"Jordan, what's wrong?" you called, finding your voice. He acted as if he hadn't heard. You reached for him, placing a trembling hand on his shoulder. He jerked away, as if your touch burned him.

"Just leave me alone, please. I have absolutely nothing to say to you." He spun around to face you. "Don't you think you've done enough? Why did you even bother coming back here?"

"I thought you didn't have anything to say," you started, trying to lighten the mood. His glare stopped any further attempt at humor. "I'm sorry if I did something to piss you off, Jay... but could you at least tell me what it was?"

He snorted, "Like you don't know. Just forget it, Tracy. You aren't the only one who's moved on." With this, he glanced over your shoulder and smiled. You slowly turned around, not wanting to believe his words.

"Ellen?" you muttered, watching Jordan go up to the woman you had called 'friend' and wrap his arms around her. Your brave facade crumbled as his beautiful lips locked with hers. Tears rolled unnoticed down your cheeks, blurring the harsh picture of betrayal before you.

You spun around and ran out of the Common, pushing people out of your way as you fled to the safety of your apartment and away from the cause of your heartache.

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"Ok, Tracy...enough blubbering. It's time for some answers," you announce to your reflection as you wipe your face with a cold, wet washcloth, trying to erase the tearstreaks and redness. "I am going to find out exactly what the hell is going on! He owes me that much!"

You run a brush through your hair before grabbing your keys and sunglasses and storming out the door. "How could that bitch do this to me? She was supposed to be my friend! Friends don't stab each other in the back like that!" You are fuming as you impatiently wait for the subway stop that will let you out near Ellen's house. You are determined to find out EXACTLY what was going on between her and Jordan.

As soon as the doors open, you fly out onto the platform and up the nearest steps. About a block later, you turn up a walkway and stomp up the porch steps. "Open up, Ellen, I know you are here.." you call, pounding on the door. When the door swings open, you gasp and step back....Jordan is standing in the doorway.

"What are you trying to do, Tracy? Get your story straight before trying to come lie to me some more?" He crosses his arms, the arms that only a few short months ago had held you so tenderly as you had danced, as you had walked together, as you had made love.... And now he was looking at you as if you had 3 heads. Was that hatred in his chocolate eyes? No...not hatred...it couldn't be....

"Jordan, I want to know what the hell happened to us? Why are you with Ellen? I thought you loved me..."

"You thought I loved YOU???? What about me? After what you went and did, you feel that you have a right to come here? To ask me why?" Jordan sneered at you. "You have a lot of nerve, Tracy... a lot!" He stepped back inside and began to shut the door.

"Wait! Jordan, please...if I ever meant anything to you, don't close the door... Talk to me." You place a hand on the door, hoping he would react the way you think he will... You aren't disappointed. He sighs and steps back out on the porch, shutting the door behind him.

"What is there to talk about, Tracy? Your message said it all!" He glares at you, once again crossing his arms across his broad chest, throwing up a defensive wall that you had never seen before, not even a year ago...the day you met....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, excuse me... I didn't see you there." You looked up from your new position beneath a well muscled body into some of the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. He quickly removed himself from on top of you, apologizing for his carelessness. Your pride took over before you could even think.

"Well obviously you weren't looking hard enough, or you wouldn't have barreled over me!" You stood up, ignoring the offered hand. Brushing yourself off, you glared at the man who had so rudely run into you. You took in his wavy brown hair, his dreamy brown bedroom eyes, his luscious lips and the cutest dimples...

"Are you sure you're okay?" The question interrupted your examination. You blush, cursing yourself for it under your breath. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing...I was just talking to myself." You mumbled, playing off your instant attraction.

"Well, you are ok then, right?" He touched your arm, shooting electricity through every single part of your body and causing you to shiver uncontrollably. "Hey, maybe you should sit down. You don't look very well right now." He slowly led you to the nearest bench in the park.

"Oh gee, thanks for the compliment. I think I can handle it from here, Mr. Compliments!" You shrugged out of his grasp, knowing that once he wasn't touching you, you'd be fine. "Some people...first they run you over, then they tell you that you look awful! Well, I don't need that today of all days!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You started shaking, and then your eyes rolled up into your head, and..."

"Ok, you don't have to go into details of how bad I looked...but what do you expect? You sure aren't very careful on those things," you pointed to his rollerblades.

"Oh, these?" He looked down sheepishly. "I'm still learning, so...let's just say you aren't the first person I have run down, but you have been the best looking." He smiled at you then, sending another wave of shivers coursing through your body, though you somehow managed to keep him from noticing.

"Wow, you sure are fickle! One minute I am looking awful and the next I am good looking. I see you aren't wearing a helmet...maybe you have hit your head once to often on those things." He chuckled, a low throaty sound that heated up intimate parts of your body. You squirmed in your seat. "So, Mr. Rollerblader-Extraordinare....do you have a name? Or are you gonna do a hit and run on me?"

"I guess I do owe you that much, don't I? Ok, my name is Jordan. And you are..." he held his hand out as if to shake yours. You placed your hand in his and gasped as he flipped it over and gently kissed the inside of your wrist.

"Stunned..." you whispered, gulping. You hadn't realized that you had spoken aloud, but he had.

"Well, Stunned, it was a pleasure knocking you to the ground. I hope I can have you in that position again sometime real soon." Your eyes widened as your mind registered his offer. You looked at him, this time without the anger and pride blurring your vision. The sight shocked you.

Omigod! Jordan Knight! You almost fell off the bench with the realization. Composing yourself, not wanting him to think you are some crazy, obsessed fan, you nonchalantly smile and lean in closer. "Well, Jordan, the name is Tracy. And I must say, I would not mind being under you once again." It was your turn to laugh seeing the blush start to color his handsome dimpled cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you gonna answer me? I mean you DID practically beg me to talk." His angry voice snapped you out of your memories. "I don't have all night here, Tracy. I DO have a life. Not that it includes you."

You fight back tears as his words cut through to your heart. What had happened in the short time you were gone? And what message had he refered to? "Ok, fine! What exactly are you talking about? Last time we talked, everything was great. I told you that I wouldn't be able to talk for a few weeks, because of the damn assignment I was on, and that I would see you in about a month. Then I said 'I love you'," you choke on the words, seeing the tension in his jaw as you say them.

"You love me? You love me?" He spits the words out as if they give him a bad taste in his mouth. "Don't even try it, Tracy. If you loved me, you wouldn't have fucked me over like this! I don't appreciate being played like that! I'm just glad I found out before I did anything stupid!"

"What the hell are you talking about? How did I fuck you over? If anyone was fucking anyone, it was obviously you and Ellen! I guess I was stupid to even come over here!" You start to turn away, but stop. "You know something...I should have known better than to think this would work. Obviously you only care about one thing, and when you couldn't get it from me, you went elsewhere! Well excuse me for having to WORK for a living. Excuse me for having to go on location! I didn't want to leave you, you know." You glare at him, enjoying his discomfort your words were causing. "We can't all be fabulously wealthy like you, Mr. New Kid! We can't all have your money and your fame, and your ability to just sit around and do nothing except look good and hit on every member of the opposite sex, bedding as many as possible!"

"How dare you!" He grabbed your arms, causing you to wince at the pressure he was using. "You know me better than that, Tracy. I am not a dog! I never once fucked around on you! I loved you!" He realized he was hurting you and released his grip. "I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"You always were good at that...getting carried away." You remembered the first time you felt his passionate embrace. He had hurt you that day too, only in a different way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tracy...I have a surprise for you." Jordan giggled like a little kid, enjoying the look of anticipation on your face. He knew you loved surprises, and he loved surprising you. Just one more thing to love about this amazing man.

"Ok, Jay...give it to me," you laughed, knowing full well he would get your meaning. "I'm ready for it!"

"Are you sure? Let me check." You gasped as Jordan grabbed you around the waist and pulled you against him. He every so slowly ran his hand down the front of your jeans, under your panties, and smiled as he felt how wet you were. "Yeah, I would say that you are ready." He grinned an evil grin as he pushed you away from him.

"Now that's not fair, Jordan. Get me all hot and bothered and shove me away." You pouted, giving him the little girl eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"Well, if I still had you pressed against me, I couldn't do this," he reached out and lifted your shirt over your head in one swift motion. His deftness made you chuckle.

"You sure are good at that...how long have you been practicing?" He just wiggled his eyebrows at you and grasped the waistband of your jeans. "Jordan?"

"Yes, baby." Just hearing that endearment sent chills up and down your spine. His hands quickly released the button and zipper and began tugging them down your long legs, his mouth following the path of your jeans. "I love your legs. They are so sexy. I can't wait to feel them wrapped around my waist."

You moaned, unable to control the feeling his mouth was creating with his words and his lips on your skin. "Oh Jay....I wanna wrap them around your waist." He slowly made his way back up your legs, lingering an extra second on your inner thighs, just a breath away from the core of your desire.

"Don't worry, baby. We have all night." He licked your navel, trailing up your rib cage to your bra, while reaching behind you to unfasten it. Once free, he gently cupped each breast, kissing and nibbling both in turn. While he caressed your breasts, you were relieving him of his jeans.

"Jordan, I want you," you sighed, running your hands over his firm butt. He carefully laid you down across the bed, gazing at you with hunger in his eyes. His mouth covered yours, his tongue darting between your parted lips, tasting and touching and dancing around your tongue. His hands caressed your thighs, slowly moving higher in small, delicate circles, heightening your desire.

His kiss deepened, causing you to lose your breath, before he drew his lips from yours and began licking your chin, down your neck, nipping your collarbone gently with his teeth. His mouth encircled your nipples, teasing each one in turn, before continuing his downward path. His teeth grazed your belly, biting a little harder than before, causing you to wince in pain, but enjoying it just the same. Just when you thought you couldn't handle any more, his mouth slipped lower, lightly flicking his tongue across your engorged clit.

A shudder wracked your body. You entwined your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as you threw your legs over his shoulders. His lips sucked and his teeth gently nibbled, sending a heat wave coarsing through your lower belly. You groan as his tongue plunges deep inside of you, probing the very depths of your soul.

"Oh Jordan!" You tightened your grip on his hair as spasms of pleasure overtook you. Your hips lifted off the bed, dragging Jordan with them as you exploded in the most fantastic orgasm. "Wow," you breathed, as the waves slowly ebbed and Jordan crawled back up your body.

"That's it? Wow?" He smiled tenderly down at you, teasing you. "You know, I could try to do better next time."

"Oh, I think you should then...try to be better. I think you need to practice some more." You grinned mischeviously up at him, lust still very evident in your eyes.

"Baby, I love how you taste. Now I wanna know how you feel." He brought his lips to yours once again as he entered you, shoving into you fast and hard, unable to control himself any more. You dug your nails into his back, crying out in pain. He hadn't known that this was your first time.

"Tracy? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He pulled out of you as quickly as he had entered and cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. "Did I hurt you," he repeated, reading the answer in your eyes. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry...I should have been more careful," he whispered in your hair, emotion choking his voice.

"I'm fine, Jordan. Really...I am alright now." You tried to turn your head to look at him, wincing with the effort since his face was buried in your shoulder, and his body was pinning you to the bed. "Jay, please..." you lightly ran a fingernail from his tailbone up to his neck, feeling him shiver.

"Are you sure?" he questioned, finally looking you in the eye. Your heart swelled with love at the tears you saw glistening, unshed in his beautiful brown eyes. You were touched that he would care that much about hurting you, about being so rough your first time.

"I've never been more sure of anything, Jordan. I want you inside me. Now!" With your urging, he gently pressed against you, his head barely penetrating you. You almost sighed with impatience at his reluctance. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you shoved your hips forward, burying his shaft deep inside of you. You clenched your teeth, groaning with pleasure.

He started to withdraw, afraid that you were in pain once again. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him back inside. "I didn't ask you to go anywhere, did I?" you muttered, rocking back and forth, enjoying the way his penis felt as he slid in and out of you.

He moaned in answer, meeting your rhythm thrust for thrust, his head thrown back in pleasure. Just as you felt another wave of passion overtake you he screamed out your name, slamming the full length of his rock hard penis inside of you, taking you over the edge with him. You cried out his name as the spasms shook you from the inside out. He slowly rolled over, pulling you with him, his dick still inside you, twitching as he pumped the last of his cum into you.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" He whispered, kissing your closed eyelids and cheeks.

"Not in the last few minutes. But I don't care, I will never grow tired of hearing it." You lightly place butterfly kisses on his cheek, over the bridge of his nose and across his other cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dammit Tracy, what is wrong with you?" Jordan's angry words snapped you out of that pleasant thought, bringing you crashing back into your awful reality. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"I'm just trying to figure this out, Jordan. What went wrong? Why do you hate me now?" The tears you had been trying your damndest to hold back began to fall, causing you to drop your gaze to his feet, unable to look him in the eye. He sighed and stepped back, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and wipe the tears from your cheeks. Then he remembered why you were crying.

"What went wrong? You have to ask me that? I never realized how cold you really are..." He shook his head, mentally kicking himself for ever falling for you in the first place. "How could you do this to me, Tracy. I loved you...with all my heart. I opened up to you more than I have ever opened up to anyone, and you do this to me. You broke my heart." He choked on the last words, swallowing his tears before they could fall.

"How, Jordan? Please, I don't know what you are talking about. You said something about a message. I want to know what damn message you are talking about, because I never sent you any message!" You reach for his arm, imploring him to look at you. The hurt in his eyes cuts you to the bone. Something happened to cause this pain, but you had no idea what it was.

"Don't play games with me, Tracy...I know your voice when I hear it. And a very reliable source saw you when you were SUPPOSED to be in California! At least you can be honest with me, for once." Those last two words hurt more than any he had said so far.

"For once? How dare you! All I have ever been is honest! I WAS in California. I have been in California for the past three months! I don't know who your source is, or what they told you they saw, but obviously they aren't as reliable as you think!" With that, you turn to storm off the porch, stopping suddenly when you notice that someone has been observing this little scene with satisfaction. "Ellen."

"Hello, Tracy. Glad to see you finally decided to come clean." Her smug smile made you want to vomit. Suddenly everything became a whole lot clearer. You had met Ellen through Jordan. She had been a good friend of his, before you had met him. Jordan had assured you that they were only friends, nothing more, and you believed him. But maybe Ellen hadn't been so sure....

"Come clean about what, Ellen," you spat, slowly taking a step off the porch towards her. "What exactly am I supposed to say?" She noticed you clenching and unclenching your fists as you advanced closer to her. She began to back up, throwing Jordan a 'help me' look.

"You know what you did, Tracy. Don't try to make him look any more stupid than you already have." Ellen pleaded with Jordan with her eyes, throwing worried glances in your direction.

"I think I should be asking you what I did, Ellen. Because you and Jordan seem to know everything, while I'm still in the dark..." You stop less than two feet from her, your hazel eyes shooting fire into her brown ones. "So tell me, Ellen. What EXACTLY did you see me doing, when I was supposed to be in California?" Her eyes widened as she realized you had put two and two together.

"So what exactly did I say in my message, Ellen? Or should I say, where is the tape you used?" She gasped as you grinned cruelly at her. Jordan had started down the steps, but your words stopped him in his tracks. "Go on, Ellen. Tell him what you did. You used me! You taped our conversations and somehow managed to splice together some kind of incriminating tape of my voice. What did it say, Ellen?"

"It said that you had never loved me....that you were through with me. That you never wanted to see me again. I was a toy you had used and thrown away." Jordan's voice caused you to jump. You had forgotten he was still standing there. You spin around to face him, shocked at his words.

"Jordan, I never said any of that! Not in that context. You have to believe me." You slowly walk towards him, looking him dead in the eye. "Look at me, Jordan. Look in my eyes and tell me that you don't believe me...." He shakes his head and looks away. "You can't do it because you know I'm telling the truth. If anyone has deceived anyone, it's Ellen. You know it, and now I do too." You turn back around and glare at the woman causing all of this pain. Before anyone can react, you jump on her. Fists flying, you pummel her head and chest and stomach, screaming with rage.

"You bitch! You lying, cheating, filthy back stabbing bitch!" You yank a handful of hair out of her head as strong arms wrap around you and pull you off. You are still kicking and swinging as Jordan drags you away from Ellen.

"Tracy, please. Stop it!" Jordan ducks as you swing your fist at him, not realizing that it is Jordan you are now aiming at. "I said, Stop!'" Jordan grabs your arms and pins them to your sides with his. You gasp as you realize he has pressed you against him, with his arms wrapped around you. Your anger melts away as arousal overcomes you. His scent, his touch, his sexy voice has your insides all a-quiver.

"Ok, I'm alright now." You relax in his arms, leaning into his embrace. His arms loosen, unpinning your arms. His hands gently rub your back as his mouth presses into your hair. You pull away slightly and look up at him questioningly. "Do you believe me now? I can explain what I was talking about when she made that tape." He nods, pulling you back against him.

"God I missed you..." he mumbles, hugging you tightly. "But I really think we should go inside and talk this out." He releases you, stepping back to look at you. "You are a mess!"

You laugh as you realize how you must look. Hair all messed up, face scratched and probably bleeding in a few places where Ellen got in a shot or two. Remembering Ellen, you both glance in her direction. She is slowly picking herself up off the lawn, gingerly touching her cheekbone, where a bruise is already developing.

"You bitch! Look what you did to me! I am going to call the police!" Ellen starts to stomp up onto the porch as Jordan grasps her arm, stopping her.

"I don't think you should do that, Ellen. You would be the one going to jail."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I'm the one who slugged her first. I don't think so, Jordan!" Ellen tried to wriggle out of his grip.

"That's the way I saw it, Ellen." Jordan glared at her, shocking her.

"You would lie for her? You definitely ARE whooped, Jordan." Ellen was indignant.

"Not whooped, Ellen. In love...which you almost ruined for me! I will never forgive you for that!" Jordan released her, turning back to you. "Tracy, let's go back to my place. We can discuss things there."

"You are in love with me?" You ask, grinning stupidly.

"Well, duh! Of course I am. I wouldn't have stopped you from killing her if I didn't. I don't wanna have to settle for conjugal visits when they haul you off for murder." He chuckles as he throws an arm around your shoulder, leading you down the street towards his house.

"God, I've missed you," Jordan moans against your mouth, hands exploring every inch of your body, quickly ridding you of your clothes. The moment you had crossed the threshold of his apartment, you had been all over each other.

"I've missed this," you growl, working your hand down the front of his jeans and wrapping your fingers around his erection. Feeling him pull away from you, you giggle. "I missed you, too, silly. Just not as much as I missed your dick." Shoving his pants down off his hips, you drop to your knees, caressing and licking his throbbing member. He groans as you wrap your mouth around him, sucking and teasing him with your tongue. Your hands cup his balls as he tangles his fingers in your hair.

"I've missed your mouth!" Jordan grits his teeth as your skillful mouth brings him to the edge. He tightens his grip on your hair as he feels himself explode. "Oh God!" He gasps for breath and unwinds his fingers from your hair as you lick every last drop of cum from the head of his slowly deflating penis.

"Thought you might like that..." you grin, standing back up. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you deeply, almost buckling your knees with his intensity.

"Thought you might like that," he mumbles, once he has laid claim to your mouth. His hands wandered down your belly and between your thighs, finding you hot and very wet for him. He slides a finger inside you, causing you to moan into his mouth. You move against his hand, eager for the sensations he has always caused in you before. His thumb rubs your clit as his fingers work their magic inside you. His lips move to your neck, then to your breasts, tugging gently at your tingling nipples. You arch your back, feeling yourself start to cum, explosions of light flashing before your eyes.

"Oh God, Jordan. You are wonderful." You sag back against the wall, the waves of pleasure slowly ebbing. He grins wickedly up at you as his mouth begins to trail kisses down your belly. He replaces his fingers with his tongue, licking and teasing you, first gentle and slow, then harder and deeper. His lips gently suck on you, his tongue probing and hot. You throw your leg over his shoulder, pulling him closer to you. His left hand reaches up and cups your buttocks, squeezing and kneading as his other hand creeps up to join his mouth in its sweet torment.

Unable to control yourself a moment longer, you cry out "Jordan!" Grabbing his hair, you tighten your leg over his shoulder as another powerful orgasm overtakes you. As your shuddering slowly stops, Jordan makes his way back up your body, kissing and licking and nibbling. As he reaches your mouth, he stops, unsure of your feelings about kissing him after what he had just done. You reach forward, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him to you. You press your mouth hard against his, kissing him as deeply as he had just kissed you, only now he was kissing your mouth.

"Don't ever hesitate to kiss me again, Jordan," you scold when the kiss ends.

"I wasn't sure... I mean, some women don't like..."

"I am not SOME women, Jordan... I am YOUR woman. I am not ashamed of anything we have done, or will do. We are right. Everything we do is right." You gaze into his bedroom brown eyes, searching for his true feelings and feel your chest tighten when you see his love for you there.

"That's right... and don't you ever forget that, baby." You shiver at the endearment.

"You know what that word does to me, Jay." He grins and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you.

"I know.. that's why I used it." He scoops you up in his arms and carrys you down the hall, toward the bedroom. Surprisingly, he makes a left instead of a right, taking you into the bathroom instead. You eye him questioningly as he carefully lowers your feet to the floor.

"The bathroom? I think you made a wrong turn back there, Jay." He chuckles as he turns on the shower. "Oooh, I see." Realization hits you as you admire his sleek form. His tight ass bent over as he adjusts the water temperature is too tempting, so you pinch his buns, causing him to jump.

"Dammit, Tracy. You are asking for it now!" He turns and grabs you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and lifting you off the floor. You squeal, kicking at his shins as he nuzzles your neck with his mouth, tickling you with the five o'clock shadow sweeping his jaw.

"Oh, since when do I have to ask?" You laugh, still trying to squirm out of his grasp. Your wriggling isn't doing anything but arousing him, so you stop fighting him and wrap your legs around his waist. "Alright then. I give up!"

Jordan groans as you press yourself against his growing shaft. He grabs your ass, holding you in place, as he carefully steps into the shower. The hot water stuns you for a second, causing you to gasp. He takes advantage of your surprise and presses your back to the wall and thrusts himself into you. Your gasp turns to a moan of pleasure as he continues thrusting, the water beating down on your naked bodies.

You capture his mouth in a passionate kiss as his thrusts become more urgent and your breath becomes more rapid. You rake your fingernails up his back as you feel him tense up, his hot cum pouring into you, filling you. His continued thrusts soon bring you to climax, leaving red welts up his back in response to the orgasm gripping your body.

"That was different," you mutter, when your breathing has slowed to a halfway normal pace. You lower your legs from his waist, groaning softly as he withdraws from you.

"Yeah, different...but good." He smiles tenderly down at you, running a hand over your soaking wet hair. "Always good. But we do have to talk, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Not yet, though. Let's just finish this shower, and then we'll talk," you agree, grabbing a bar of soap and lathering his chest up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You draw your feet up beneath you as you snuggle into your favorite chair, waiting for Jordan to finish dressing and join you in the living room. You take a big whiff of the shirt you stole from his closet, reveling in its masculine smell. Cool Water... the cologne you talked him into trying on, and now the only kind he wears. You catch movement out of the corner of your eye and turn to see him striding toward you, wearing only a pair of low-riding red sweatpants.

Heat rushes between your thighes at the sight of him, hair still damp and slightly curled. You fight the urge to brush away the one stray curl that was laying across his forehead. He smiles that half-smile that always turns your knees to Jell-O as he sits down on the couch across from you.

"About that message..." he begins, not really wanting to ruin the mood, but knowing that this had to be discussed.

"That message was a piece of crap, Jordan. Those things I 'supposedly' said were taken so out of context. Ellen must have been planning this little episode for quite some time..." Your eyes narrow at that bitch's nerve. "We have talked on the phone many times, but you already knew that. Well, one night we started talking about past boyfriends. I made a comment that I had thought I was in love once before, but realized I wasn't. I told her what he had told me...using his words."

You look at Jordan now, realizing that what you say is going to hurt him, even though he now knows you weren't talking about him. "I said, 'I never loved you, Tracy. We are over. You're nothing but a tease.' And then I told her how just once I would have liked to be able to tell a man 'you're just a toy I used then threw away when I got what I wanted'. Does that ring any bells?" Jordan had dropped his head into his hands as you were repeating your conversation.

"Yeah... It does. She sure did a good job of splicing. I wonder how much it cost her to do that. God, I wanna just wrap my fingers around her throat and.." Jordan punched the sofa cushion, murder in his eyes.

"So do I, babe. But it's over now. We are together, where we should be. I could never cheat on you, or use you. I love you too much." You gaze at him, longing to feel his arms around you, holding you.

"Come here, Tracy. I need to feel you in my arms. These past 3 weeks have been hell on me! After not seeing you for a little over 2 months, then getting that damn message on my machine..." he stopped, his voice cracking.

Seeing that he was about to lose control, you rushed to him, burying your face in his neck. You knew if he started crying then so would you. It tore you up seeing a man cry, but Jordan... your Jordan, crying was too much to even think about. "But it wasn't true, hun...you know that now."

"Yeah, I know that now." He hugged you to him, tears silently slipping down his cheeks into your hair. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been, believing Ellen's awful words. But after hearing her say that you had been sleeping with someone else, and then getting that message...well, his head hadn't been on straight, it had hurt him so bad. But you were here, in his arms, and you hadn't said those horrible things, and you weren't sleeping with anyone but him.

"It's ok now, Jordan. It's over." You lightly kiss his neck, unable to look at him, feeling his silent sobs. He just hugs you tighter, afraid to let you go....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You roll over and rub your eyes, as the smell of freshly brewed coffee awakens your senses. You sit up, pulling the sheets over your bare breasts. It felt good to be back in Jordan's bed after a three month absence. And the talk you had last night had changed your entire relationship - for the better.

So many feelings had been brought up and sorted through, and you were more in love with Jordan than you had ever though possible. A smile creeps across your face as you hear him in the kitchen, pots and pans clanging. You wrap the sheet around your body as you climb out of bed and silently tiptoe down the hall and peek around the corner.

He was cooking breakfast, wearing only a pair of red silk boxers, the ones you had given him for his birthday, in fact. Jordan was dancing around the kitchen, singing one of your favorite songs, as he flipped pancakes and scrambled eggs.

"Bring me two pina coladas... I want one for each hand...Let's set sail with Captain Morgan and never leave dry land. Hey troubles I forgot 'em... I buried 'em in the sand. So bring me two pina coladas, she said goodbye to her good timin' man."

You snicker into your hand, amused to hear him singing a country song...a Garth song at that. He used to always bitch when you turned on country music. You decided to join in the fun. Jumping out from behind the wall, you dance across the kitchen floor, wiggling suggestively. One hand holds the sheet in place as the other snaps to the beat.

"Then what? What'cha gonna do, when the new wears off and the old shines through and it ain't really love and it ain't really lust...you ain't anybody anybody's gonna trust."

Jordan had been startled at your sudden appearance, but quickly recovered, shimmying up to you, joining you in the rest of Clay Walker's chorus: "Then what? Where ya gonna turn when you can't turn back for the bridges you burned...and fate can't wait to kick you in the butt...then what? Whoa oh, then what?"

With that, Jordan grabbed your ass and ground his hips against yours suggestively.

"I thought you didn't like country," you gasped, trying to compose yourself.

"Well, let's just say that country music is like you. It has to grow on me." Jordan chuckled as you pulled away from him. Slapping his shoulder, you turn around to storm out of the kitchen, trying to act indignant. About two steps away him, you realize that he has ahold of the sheet. You grab for it, but too late. Before you can catch the edge of the sheet, Jordan has yanked it off, leaving you completely nude.

"Now THAT is much better," Jordan states, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You cross your arms over your chest, tapping your foot.

"It may be better, but you can't have any of this body now. Not after that 'grows on ya' comment." Your eyes wander down to the button-fly crotch of his boxers. "But speaking of 'grow'..." you trail off, eyeing his erection.

"Yeah, speak of 'growing', please. You know I love that mouth of yours." Jordan slowly closes the distance between you, pulling his boxers off in the process. Your eyes light up at the sight of his naked body.

"Jordan, you're burning the food," you whisper, unable to catch your breath from the intensity of his gaze. The lust in his eyes is unmistakeable, mirrored in your own.

"Fuck the food," he growls, grabbing your hips and pulling you tightly against him, grinding his rock hard dick against your moist lips.

"I'd rather fuck you," you moan, unconsciously rubbing yourself on him, enjoying the sensations washing over you. Unable to control himself anymore, he snatches you up and carries you to the kitchen table. Clearing the dishes with one hand, he not so gently places you on it, thrusting himself into you at almost the same instant.

"Like this, baby," Jordan grunts, as he pumps his hips against yours, his dick filling you completely. You lay back, wrapping your legs around his waist as he uses your hips as handles, pulling you tightly against him. The pace continues to increase until you feel the table bump into the counter. Your intense fucking has moved it across the room.

You almost laugh, but at that moment, your orgasm hits you, causing you to scream out Jordan's name. You arch up off the table, grabbing his shoulders. Jordan explodes inside you, squeezing your hips almost to the point of pain. As you both slowly catch your breath, he glances at the table and chuckles. "Damn, baby. We made the earth move."

"No, hun. Just the table," you giggle, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "I think breakfast is ruined," you whisper in his ear.

"Why do you think that?" Jordan asks, his mouth pressed into your hair, as his fingers trace lazy circles up and down your back.

"Cuz the stove is on fire," you calmly point out. Jordan abruptly pulls out of you and spins around, seeing that, indeed, the stove IS on fire.

"Holy shit!" he hollers, grabbing a towel and snatching the flaming griddle off the stove, tossing it into the sink as he turns the faucet on. You can't contain your laughter any longer.

"Not only did the earth move, but we also set the kitchen on fire," you laugh, amused at Jordan's comical attempts to extinguish the flames. The pan finally quit burning, leaving the kitchen smoky. "How's that for smoking after sex."

"You are just a real cut up, Trace. My kitchen could have burned down and you sit there cracking jokes." Jordan scolded, trying to sound stern. Your muffled giggles and the humor of the situation got the better of him, and before long he was leaning against the counter, laughing hysterically.

All at once, his laughter stopped and a serious expression transformed his face. His deep brown eyes locked with yours, cutting off your chuckles. "Move in with me."

It wasn't a question. You gaped at him, shocked at his abruptness. "Do what?" you manage.

"You heard me. Move in with me. I'm serious, Tracy," he adds, seeing the corners of your mouth twitching in a sad attempt at a hidden smile. "I love you, and I want to spend every morning with you."

"Moving furniture and setting the apartment on fire," you mumble, trying to contain the hysterics overtaking you.

"Dammit, Tracy! Can't you be serious? What do I have to do, beg you on my hands and knees?" The hurt expression on his face made you realize that he wasn't kidding around. "I love you, Tracy. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up beside you every morning."

You climb off the table, shocked. In all the time you two had been dating, nothing this serious had ever come up. You didn't know what to say. The pleading in his eyes tore at your heart. How can I say no, you wonder. I don't want to break his heart.

"Jordan, I love you, too. More than I can even begin to tell you..." you begin, crossing the room to hug him. "But I can't move in with you."

You feel his spine stiffen at your words. He grabs your arms and pushes you away from him, so he can look into your eyes. "You can't...why? What's wrong?"

"Look, considering what just happened here... us fucking on your kitchen table and all... This is gonna sound kind of silly," you try to look away, not wanting to see the pain on his face. He grasps your chin in his hand, forcing you to face him. "I just don't think living together is a good idea. When I move in with a man, Jordan, it will be as his wife. No...wait." You place a finger over his lips to keep him from interrupting. "Let me finish ... I know we aren't quite ready for that yet, so let's just leave it at that. Okay?"

Your eyes search his face for a glimmer of understanding. All at once, he breaks into a huge grin. "Thank God! I thought you were gonna say you needed your space, or you didn't want to make that big of a commitment. Alright! That leaves me some hope." Jordan cups your face in his hands and presses his mouth to yours in a quick, but intense kiss.

"We should put some clothes on, so I can take you out to breakfast," Jordan bent down and retrieved his boxers from the floor.

"Quick subject change," you mumble, following him into the bedroom. "Give me 20 minutes, Jordan. I need a quick shower ... ALONE," you emphasize when you see the wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Oh I see how you are," he calls after you as you dash into the bathroom and lock the door behind you. He begins sorting through his closet for something to wear, a silly grin plastered across his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mom! We're home!" Jordan yells, stepping into the living room of his childhood home. His nose leads him to the kitchen where his mother is taking a large pan of lasagna out of the oven. "Oooh, looks like we're just in time, baby."

Marlene glances up at her son's endearment. "Baby? That can only mean one thing." She shoves Jordan aside and pauses for a moment when she spots you. Your heart stops as you realize that she's probably heard the whole ugly story that Ellen had created, and probably doesn't know the truth. Your apprehension disappears as Marlene envelops you in a huge bear hug.

"My word, Tracy! I never thought I'd see you again." She crushes you to her, and you gladly return the embrace. This woman means almost as much to you as your own mother.

"Long story, Mom ... but none of what you heard was true." She grabs your face between her hands, kissing you square on the mouth.

"Nice to know I'm welcome here," Jordan mutters, shaking his head in mock distress. "My own mother kicked me to the curb for my woman." Marlene turned her attention to her youngest child, calmly walked over to him, and smacked him in the back of the head. "Ow! Mom .. what was that for?" Jordan rubbed his head, eyeing his mother questioningly.

"Didn't I tell you that little troublemaker was lying? But NO!!!!! You had to act like an ignorant man and believe her lies. You could have screwed up the best thing that will ever happen to you by letting your male ego cloud your better judgment." Marlene went up one side of Jordan and down the other, berating him for not trusting in you.

"Ok Mom....okay. I learned my lesson, alright?!" Jordan held his hands up in surrender. "We are together and everything is fine."

"No thanks to you and that little tramp..." Marlene sneered, before she glanced back at you and smiled. "Just in time for your favorite meal, Tracy. Mom's homemade lasagna."

Your mouth watered as you eyed the pan hungrily. "I'm starving! I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast!" Jordan grinned devilishly at you, leaning close to whisper in your ear, "Yeah, but I did, and it was delicious!"

You elbow him playfully as Marlene shakes her head, pretending she hasn't heard her son's little innuendo. "Let's eat," she orders, shooing the both of you into the dining room.

After dinner, you and Marlene are sitting on the couch while Jordan makes some phone calls to his agent. "Oh Mom ... I almost forgot! I brought some more photos I took of Jordan. They're the ones I took before I left for LA." You hand her a thick envelope of what you consider your best work.

"Honey, you have an amazing talent! Too bad you can't take the pictures at your wedding," Marlene commented, leafing through the stack of pictures. You blush at her choice of subject and quickly try to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"He's so beautiful, isn't he? My favorite subject to photograph." You try to avoid Marlene's pointed stare. "See, this one is just amazing. The way the sun lights up his profile ..." You point out several of your favorites, all the while feeling her steady gaze.

"Don't try to change the subject, Tracy. You two belong together. You were meant for each other." Marlene places a hand on your shoulder, leaning closer as her voice drops just above a whisper. "He loves you so much, Tracy. He was miserable without you, even before all that Ellen crap."

You smile at her. "I was miserable without him. I'll be honest with you, Mom. I told my boss that I wouldn't take anymore out of town assignments." Your gaze drops to your hands. "I quit my job for him, Marlene."

"You did what? Why?" Marlene was puzzled. Jordan had told her earlier about asking you to move in with him and you turning him down.

"My boss said if I couldn't handle the job, I should find one somewhere else. He wanted me to pack up and fly to Australia tomorrow for six months of nature shoots." You shift awkwardly in your seat, uncomfortable under her steady gaze. "I told him 'I'm sorry, but koalas and kangaroos are no substitute for Jordan.' He told me to choose. So I did."

"And do you feel you made the right choice?" Marlene inquired, though she thought she already knew the answer.

"Yes, I believe I did." You smile as Jordan strolls into the room whistling, looking like the cat who ate the canary. "Why the smug look, Jordan? What did you do?" you tease, rising to hug him.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," he grins, planting a kiss on your forehead. He turns to his mom, leaving an arm across your shoulders. "Mom, we have to leave now. I have somewhere I have to be."

You look at him curiously, wondering what he is planning. Marlene gives you both a quick hug, exchanging knowing glances with her son. "Have a good time, you two. So glad to see you back where you belong, Tracy." You smile, returning the warm hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So where are we going," you ask as Jordan helps you into the car.

"You'll see," he replies mysteriously, hopping into the driver seat. You sit back, letting the wind whip away all negative thoughts. You just want to enjoy being with Jordan.

"We're here," he whispers, startling you out of your daydreams. You quickly glance around, frown lines creasing your forehead.

"A parking lot?" you ask, slowly stepping out of the car.

"Not just any parking lot," Jordan grins. Taking your hand, he leads you toward a bench near the edge of the lot. "Does this look familiar?"

He motions to the bench and you stare at it for a moment before realization hits. "Oh my God! This is our bench," you whisper, running your fingers over the initials carved in the seat. "I didn't know they turned this park into a parking lot."

"Yeah, about 2 months ago, while you were in California. Thank goodness they left our bench here." You barely hear him, you are lost in the memory of your first meeting again. The day Jordan had run you down on his rollerblades.

You glance up at Jordan, surprised when you don't see him. You quickly look around, staring wide eyed at him when you notice he is on one knee in front of you. Your heart leaps into your throat as your knees give out, causing you to sink onto the bench.

Jordan took your hands in his, his chocolate brown eyes shining with love. "Tracy, I brought you here for a special reason. This is where fate drew us together, and this is where I want to pledge my heart, my soul, my undying love and devotion to you. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes, and wheels, on you," he paused as you giggled at the reference to the rollerblade incident. "I think you know what I'm trying to say here, but I'll ask anyway."

Jordan reaches into his pants pocket and withdraws a small velvet box. Slowly opening the lid, his eyes never leaving yours, he takes the ring out, holding it up to you. "Will you spend the rest of your life by my side, as my wife?"

Tears roll uncontrollably down your cheeks as you attempt to speak. Nothing will come out, so you nod, throwing yourself into his waiting arms. He hugs you tightly, tears threatening to fall from his own eyes.

"Yes," you whisper in his ear, finally finding your voice. "Yes, I will marry you, Jordan." You place kisses all over his face as he puts the ring on your trembling finger. "I love you so much, Jordan."

"I love you too, Tracy. Forever."

The End

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