Leave My Heart Out of This

By: Tracy H.

~I know the damage that he's done/ I know the damage that he'll do/ You know when you knock on my door/ I'll always open it to you~

"What else can I say, Donnie? If you don't love her, then why are you still with her?" Chris was watching Donnie pace angrily around her living room. This was becoming an almost every day occurance. She knew the answer to her question the moment she spoke the words.

"If it wasn't for Alex, I would," he muttered, his face softening at the thought of his son. "He needs his mom and his dad together, Chris. Is that so hard to understand?"

"What he needs is for his parents to be happy, and obviously you aren't. Admit it, D, you guys are not happy together." Chris stood up and grabbed Donnie's shoulders, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "If you were happy, would you be here with me?"

Donnie's hazel eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "Dammit Chris! Don't go there. You know how I feel about you and you know why I come to you."

"Donnie, please...don't." Chris held a hand up, stemming any further comment from him. Yes, she knew why he was here, and how he felt, but she couldn't handle hearing it. Not like this.

~There is a time, there is a place/But it's not here and now's not safe/ This is a fight that's yours and his/ Leave my heart out of this?~

Every time Donnie and Kim fought, which was more and more often. Donnie came running to Chris, crying on her shoulder. But no matter how bad Kim would hurt him, Donnie refused to leave her.

"Donnie, you can't keep doing this to me. It's not fair! You can't keep living with her and expect me to welcome you into my bed with open arms. I can't handle it." Chris turned away, trying to swallow her tears, refusing to let him see her cry.

"But Chris..."

"No! Donnie, I love you, but this isn't right." Chris spun around, her deep brown eyes burning with rage. She wasn't mad at him as much as she was furious at Kim for using Donnie's son to hold onto him.

"I love you, too, Chris. So why is this wrong?" Donnie was confused. Chris always pushed him away with one hand and pulled him close with the other. What had originally started as friendship had grown into love, but there always seemed to be something in their way.

"Why? Donnie, I can't believe you! Doesn't it strike you as wrong that you say you love me, that you want to be with me, and then go home to another woman?" Chris stared at him through her tears in disbelief.

"I know it's wrong, but what else can I do? I can't just leave them! Alex needs his mother, but I need him. I can't live without Alex, and I don't want to live without you." Donnie's well-contained tears finally spilled over, breaking what was left of Chris's heart.

~Right now confused is how you feel/ Afraid to face this on your own/ I know the way you hurt to heal/ And I know the empty of alone/ So take my shoulder, take my hand/ Take what you need, I'll understand/ Just don't take more than I can give/ Leave my heart out of this~

Chris opened her arms to him, knowing how empty she would feel later, but she couldn't turn him away now. She needed him too much. Donnie rushed into her embrace, tightly enveloping her body in his arms. His lips kissed her tears away, his hands caressed her uncertainties away.

Before she could protest, Donnie scooped her up and carried her into her bedroom. Gently lowering her feet to the floor, his fingers quickly unbuttoned her blouse. His mouth sought her bared skin, sending heat waves coursing through her body. Chris moaned as his lips captured a nipple once he slid her bra down her arms.

Donnie deftly unhooked her jeans and removed her panties in one swift motion. He stepped back and let his gaze wander over her naked curves. Her loving smile heightened his arousal as she began undressing him.

Once they were both fully nude, Donnie led her to the bed and tenderly laid her down, his hands roaming over every inch of her body. He nibbled on her earlobe, grinning slyly at her gasp of pleasure. He trailed his tongue down the curve of her neck and over her collarbone. Once again, his lips found her breasts, teasing one nipple with his tongue as his hand caressed the other.

Chris urged him lower, gently pushing on his shoulders as he kissed down her stomach. He glanced up into her lust-filled eyes before parting her legs and kissing her intimately. His tongue flicked lightly across her clit, drawing a low moan from Chris's throat. His fingers slid inside her as his mouth continued it's sweet torture.

"Now, Donnie. Make love to me." Chris didn't have to ask twice. Donnie quickly slid back up her body, filling her completely. Chris ran her hands down his back to his ass, cupping his buttocks and pulling him deeper into her. Their bodies found an agreeable rhythm and they rocked against each other. As they neared their climax, the pace quickened and Chris's breaths grew ragged.

As Donnie exploded inside of her, he cried out in pleasure. "I love you, baby doll," he breathed as he collapsed onto her chest, spent.

"I know, Donnie. I know." Chris kissed him deeply, not wanting this moment to end. Donnie rolled off of her, pulling her onto her side as he cradled her in his arms. He lightly rubbed her back as she snuggled up against his chest.

When her breathing grew even, and Donnie was sure she was asleep, he quietly slipped out of bed and pulled on his clothes. "Goodbye, baby," he whispered, kissing her gently on her forehead. She stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. Donnie tiptoed out of the room.

~Leave my heart out of this/ You're too much to resist/ I don't have the strength to pull away/ No is getting hard for me to say/ I'd love to be the way your heartache ends/ But 'til it does we can't be more than friends/ I'm only trying to do what's best/ It's gonna hurt you more unless/ You leave my heart out of this~

Chris sat up and looked around, her hope fading to a dull achiness in the center of her chest. "I won't have any heart left if he keeps taking a piece with him every time he goes," she mumbled to herself, wrapping the sheet around her body. Crossing the room to the door, she slowly opened it and glanced around. Spotting a single red rose on the coffee table, she hurried over. There was a sheet of paper with Donnie's familiar handwriting beneath the flower.

She snatched the paper up and quickly read the note, her stomach knotting up at his words.

My Dearest Chris,

I finally understand everything. I can't keep doing this to you. You deserve better. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart. I know what I have to do, and I hope you will be able to live with my decision.

All my love,

Donnie

Tears fell unnoticed onto the note, smearing some of the words. He won't be back, Chris realized, the last piece of her heart shattering. I wasn't enough for him.

The sheet of paper fluttered to the floor, coming to rest beside the rosebud. She moved trance-like into her bedroom. Chris angrily flung open her closet and threw on some clothes, determination filling her mind. He isn't getting away that damn easy, she thought, yanking a brush through her auburn hair.

Slamming the brush onto her dresser, she spun on her hell and stormed out of her room. Grabbing her keys, she reached for the front doorknob and yanked it open. She gasped as a man's voice interrupted her raging thoughts.

"Going somewhere?" Donnie was standing on the front porch, a bouquet of white roses in his hands.

"Donnie? What the hell are you doing here?" Chris was stunned. Donnie was supposed to be at the house he shared with Kim, not here. She hadn't planned on this.

"Didn't you read my note," he asked, stepping past her into the house.

"Yeah, you said that I deserve better and you knew what you had to do. That you hoped I could live with your decision." Chris stared at him in confusion. "I thought that meant that you were going back to Kim and Alex."

"I did, but only long enough to tell her tha I was in love with you, and wanted to be with you." Donnie chuckled at the expression of shock and disbelief on Chris's face. "Chris, come here and sit down." Donnie led Chris to the couch. "Wait here."

Chris sank onto the sofa, still speechless. Donnie disappeared out the door, but returned very soon after. "Someone wanted to say hi," Donnie stated, snapping Chris out of her trance.

A little boy dashed out from behind Donnie and launched his little body into her lap. "Chris, me and Daddy want you to marry us," Alex chirped, patting her cheeks.

Chris's mouth dropped open and she quickly glanced up at Donnie. "If you still want us, that is," Donnie whispered, dropping to one knee and holding out a small ring box. Her eyes filled with tears as she hugged Alex to her. "Yes. I will marry you guys," she replied, the tears making a path down her cheeks.

Donnie placed the ring on her finger before enveloping both her and Alex in a warm embrace.

~So take my shoulder, take my hand/ Take what you need, I'll understand/ Just don't take more than I can give/ Leave my heart out of this~

The End

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