I Hate To Leave
By: Jenna
As
Peyton stood in the kitchen cooking breakfast, she heard her boyfriend in the
bedroom waking up.
"Nick, I was going to suprise you with breakfast in bed, go lay back
down,you are so tired from touring, I want you to relax, okay?" Peyton
called out towards the bedroom.
Nick entered the kitchen. Peyton smiled at the sight of him. He stood in the
doorway wearing boxers, with his hair messed up. His eyes couldn't disguise how
tired he was, they had dark circles underneath.
"Can I watch you? I like to watch you cook." Nick said quietly as he
pulled a chair out and sat down.
"Suit yourself." Peyton said as she flipped a pancake. Peyton had her
back to Nick while she talked and prepared his plate. When she turned to set
the table, she found Nick laying his head ontop of his folded arms on the
table.
Peyton started to worry when Nick picked at the food on his plate. He normally
had a ravenous appetite for pancakes and bacon.
"Sweetheart, are you feeling okay?" Peyton said as she smoothed his
hair back away from his eyes.
"I'm just a little tired," Nick lied. He didn't have the heart to
tell her he felt like he was dead.
"Come on Nick, let me take you back to bed." Peyton said as she
pulled on his arm.
Nick slowly got up and followed her to the bedroom. He obediently laid back
down onto the waterbed and allowed her to cover him up. He told her he wanted a
blanket because he felt a little cold with the air conditioner running.
Peyton softly closed the bedroom door so Nick could get some rest. She told him
that she was running into town to the store and would be back in an hour or so.
Nick kissed her goodbye and settled back into the pillow, slowly drifting off
to sleep.
When Peyton returned from the store, she heard Nick coughing in the bedroom.
She set the groceries down onto the table and cracked the bedroom door open to
look in on Nick. He was curled up on his side, sleeping. Peyton smiled.
Suddenly, Nick started coughing and didn't stop. It was a loud, barking cough.
Peyton rushed into the bedroom. Amazingly, Nick was still asleep. Peyton
touched hi arm to wake him up and was shocked at how warm he felt. His face was
red from the fever that was invading his body, his hair was soaked from sweat.
"Nick, Nicky, wake up." Peyton gently woke Nick up. Once Nick sat up
in bed, he stopped coughing. Peyton too a closer look at him. Although his face
was flushed from the fever, his lips appeared pale, almost a blueish white
color. Peyton could tell Nick was having trouble catching his breath.
"I'm calling an ambulance." Peyton said as she dialed 911. Nick
couldn't summon the strength to protest. He laid back down in bed and
immediately started to cough again.
After Peyton made the call, she helped Nick get dressed before the ambulance
arrived. She was getting scared as she could see Nick getting worse by the
minute. By the time he finished dressing, he was so weak he could no longer sit
up.
When the ambulance crew arrived, Peyton stood quietly in a corner watching them
work on Nick and talk to the hospital. They wouldn't let her ride with Nick in
the ambulance, so Peyton followed them in Nick's Durango.
When she got into the vehicle, she was instantly hit with Nick. She could smell
the cologne he constantly wore and it gave her an empty feeling at the moment.
Peyton followed the ambulance with tears streaming down her face.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Peyton sat in the Intensive Care room beside Nick's bed. She kept hearing the
diagnosis over and over inside her head. The doctor said that Nick had double
pneumonia. Thye had Nick attached to all sorts of hospital equipment, IV's,
heart monitor and oxygen.
Peyton smoothed Nick's hair away from his face. He was still so very hot. His
fever was up to over 105. She quietly prayed that his fever would break soon.
Nick softly moaned. His eyes were closed.
"Are you in a lot of pain, babe?" Peyton asked.
Nick's eyes fluttered open. He softly mumbled something that Peyton couldn't
make out. She leaned closer to Nick and tried to hear him.
"What was that honey?"
"I'm sorry." Was all that Nick could manage.
Peyton didn't reply to his remark this time. She smoothed his hair back and
gently held his hand.
Most of Nick's day was filled with having blood taken from him and chest x-ray
after chest x-ray. Nick didn't seem to be doing much better, Peyton thought.
She was starting to feel sleepy watching Nick sleeping. As she drifted off to
sleep, she quietly thought about all the fun times she and Nick had shared
together. He was such a playful character, always pulling practical jokes on
her.
One of Nick's favorite things to do to her when he was home was to hide in a
closet and jump out from behind the clothes and scare her. He would do that
when she was putting laundry away.
Peyton could hear Nick's laughter ringing in her ears. She jerked awake when
she heard an alarm go off on one of the machines Nick was hooked up to.
A nurse rushed into the room and soon after her, several more people entered
the room. Peyton moved quickly off to the side in a corner trying to grasp what
was happening in front of her eyes. She soon realized that the alarm that was
going off was to Nick's heart monitor. Looking at the machine, she saw that
there was a flat green line going across the screen. Thinking to herself,
Peyton decided that there was something wrong with the machine or the
connections from Nick to the machine that was causing the bad reading.
A nurse came over to Peyton and asked her to leave the room. Peyton insisted on
staying, but the nurse was firm in her request and led Peyton out to the
waiting room. She looked back at Nick before she left and saw them doing what
appeared to be CPR on him.
Taking a seat in the lobby, Peyton made sure she sat in a chair that had a view
of the door to Nick's room. She didn't take her eyes off the doorway, hoping to
find something by the activity of the people coming and going from the room.
Peyton could feel the tears burning her eyes as she sat thinking about Nick and
worrying about him.
"It's just a stupid little cough, he can't be that bad." Peyton
thought to herself. She was trying to keep her hopes up that Nick would be
alright and that she was just making a big deal out of nothing.
Peyton felt her heart sink as she saw two nurses leave Nick's room. They
appeared to be crying. Peyton didn't understand why they would be crying. Soon
after the two nurses left Nick's room, a few more people left.
"Enough of this waiting!" Peyton said quietly out loud to herself.
She got up and quickly approached Nick's room. As she entered the doorway, she
looked towards Nick's bed. A nurse was pulling a sheet up over Nick's face.
"What are you doing?" Peyton shouted at the nurse. She couldn't
understand why they would put something like that over his face.
Peyton rushed into the room and pulled the covers back off Nick's face. Without
challening Peyton, the nurse turned and left the room.
"God, Nick, I don't know why she was doing that to you. It's okay now
babe, I'm here and I will make sure no one does something like that to you
again." Peyton talked to Nick as she rearranged the covers on his bed. As
she smoothed his blonde hair back, she noticed he wasn't hot anymore.
"Hey, Nick, I think your fever's broke. That's good, that means you'll get
to go home soon." Peytone took Nick's hand from under the covers and held
it.
As she sat with Nick and talked to him, she didn't hear the soft footsteps
entering the room. Suddenly, Peyton felt a hand on her right shoulder. She
turned to see Brian standing next to her with tears running down his cheeks.
"Oh, Brian, I'm so glad you came. Nick is sleeping right now, god, he
would be happy to see you too. I think he is doing better, his fever seems to
have broke." Peyton said as she stood up to give Brian a hug.
Brian looked at Peyton and then at Nick.
"Um, Peyton, there's something I have to tell you." As Brian spoke,
his voice was choked with emotion and was barely audible.
"Okay, sure." Peyton turned and looked at Brian with a smile on her
face. Her smile faded when she looked at Brian and could see that he was pale.
"Nicky's gone." Brian stated flatly.
Peyton laughed. "No he's not Brian, he's right here, he's just sleeping.
Brian grabbed Peyton by the arms and made her face him.
"Peyton, Nick is dead." Brian started crying.
Peyton felt her knees buckle. Brian had a hold of her so she didn't fall.
Burying her face into Brian's shoulder, she started to scream.
"You're wrong, you're wrong!" Peyton screamed over and over. She
turned to Nick and pushed him on the shoulder as if to wake him up. Once Peyton
realized that Nick wouldn't answer her or wake up, she dropped to her knees and
starting sobbing.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Peyton sat off in a corner at the funeral home. There were nonstop visitors
that came to pay their respect for Nick. Fans lined the streets outside. Brian
and the rest of the group were busy talking to people from the music industry
that came.
Peyton decided she needed to go outside to get some fresh air. She walked up to
Brian and whispered, "I'm going out for a few minutes, okay?"
"Hold on a second, I'll walk with you." Brian whispered back in her
ear.
"Thanks, Brian, but I need to be alone for a few minutes, okay?"
Peyton whispered.
"Alright, but if you aren't back in 15 I'm going out to look for
you." Brian said as he squeezed her arm.
Peyton managed a slight smile as she nodded. Walking out the front door, she
was hit with the warm Florida breeze. She couldn't help feeling how emty and
indifferent the air seemed to her without Nick alive. It was like the world was
mocking her and she couldn't help but feel betrayed that the sun would be
shining or that people would be going on about their daily lives.
She walked back behind the funeral home into a small grove of trees. It was secluded
and no one could see her once she was in there. Peyton sat don on an old tree
stump and let her emotions go.
With her head down in her hands, she wept openly. She felt a cool breeze go
through her body. Suddenly, she felt as if someone was standing by her watching
her. Looking up, she saw a shadow of a man with sunlight behind him obstructing
her view of his face.
"Don't cry, Peyton."
It was Nick's voice. Peyton was certain of it.
"Nick?" Peyton cried out.
"Shhh. Peyton, I had to come back to you, please, don't cry anymore, I'm
fine." Nick said quietly.
"Bbb..ut why did you leave? We had so much planned, Nick." Peyton
asked, her voice still wracked with sobs.
"I had to, I'm so sorry." Nick said softly. Nick reached down and
took Peyton's face in his hands. "I have to go."
"Nick, don't leave me again!" Peyton begged.
Nick leaned down and gave Peyton a tender kiss.
"I just needed to say goodbye and tell you I loved you." Nick said
"No, Nick, it's love, not loved and you can't leave me!" Peyton
cried.
"Peyton, don't make this any harder. You will find someone else and you
will marry and you will have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, and you will name your
boy Nickolas. Just remember, I will always love you and I will be your guardian
angel. Tell Brian that I will be watching him too and the rest of the guys,
okay? I'm sorry Peyton. I love you. Goodbye."
Nick vanished as suddenly as he appeared. Peyton hear a twig snapping and saw
Brian standing at the edge of the grove.
"Peyton, there you are. I was starting to worry about you." Brian
smiled.
Peyton thought about telling Brian that Nick was just there, but decided to
skip it as she figured he wouldn't believe her anyway.
"Was someone out here a few minutes ago? I thought I heard a voice.."
Brian asked. He could smell cologne that reminded him of Nick.
Peyton smiled. "No, Brian, no one."
Taking her hand Brian said, "Come on, they're waiting for us. Let's do
this for Nick."
The End
Tell Jenna what you thought of this story!