Toured Out

By: Jenna

“Seriously AJ, you’re wearin’ on my nerves,” Nick snapped as he stuffed the white towel into his duffel.

AJ put his hands up into the air. “Okay man, just take it easy, okay? Don’t get all riled.”

Nick stormed off towards the exits to the awaiting shuttle van to take him back to the hotel where they were staying. As he cautiously opened the stage door, he slammed it shut quickly when he heard the screams coming from the parking lot.

“Shit,” Nick sighed as he leaned against the door. “Where’s Jay at?”

Setting the bag down onto the floor, Nick walked off in search of his bodyguard before he tried to venture out to the van.

“You’re such an wuss,” AJ teased when he noticed that Nick was too scared to walk the short distance from the building to the van.

“Sorry, but I really don’t feel in the mood to be torn apart and have my hair pulled,” Nick spat. When he rounded the corner, he nearly ran into Jay. “Good, I need to get to the van and there’s a little bit of a block out there that I need help getting through.

Jay nodded, indicating he heard Nick. As they neared the door, AJ quickly stepped behind Nick.

“Oh, so I’m the wuss?”

“I just figured I’d tag along since Jay was already here,” AJ defended.

AJ and Nick followed Jay closely. He had created a path and the screaming girls quickly parted for Jay only to circle back and reach out and touch Nick. and AJ. A panicked Nick pused Jay hard in the middle of his back. Jay stepped up his pace and all three of them barely made it to the shuttle van, unscathed.

Slowly shaking his head as the bus drove off, Nick settled back into his seat and leafed through a comic book that was laying on the seat next to him.

Seven years he had been with the group. Each time was just as wild as the last one.

As the van pulled into the circle drive to the hotel, Nick reached for his gear. He looked out the window and let out a deep sigh as he discovered a cluster of girls standing near the front entrance.

“Shit, how do they find us all the damn time?” Nick asked outloud.

“They love me so the desire to be near me is too strong,” AJ joked.

“Yeah, okay AJ, dream all you want,” Nick replied as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

~*~*~*~

Nick and AJ made their way past the crowd of girls, signing a few autographs on the way, and, thanks to Jay, were able to leave and get inot the hotel. The three men approached the registration desk.

“I need my room key,” Nick asked as soon as the woman behind the desk acknowledged them standing there.

“Are you already registered?” She smiled at them, but Nick could tell it was a pasted on smile.

“We have reservations, this is the first that we’ve been in here today,” AJ replied, the irritation was noticeable in his voice.

“I see, names please?”

“I’m Nick Dunn and this is John Alexander,” Nick replied as he watched her key the names into the computer. Nick always used the last name of his favorite player on the Tampa Bay football team as his alias when checking into a hotel. AJ’s was John, short for Johnny and then his first name added as the last name.

“Jay Martin, with the security detail,” Jay added.

The woman clicked in a few keys on her computer and then had three forms printed out. She handed a card to each and smiling, told them to enjoy their stay.

Nick glanced down at the card that had a photo of the hotel chain on the front.

Room number 838.

“What room you in AJ?” Nick asked as they stepped into the elevator.

AJ looked down at his card. “842.”

The elevator stopped on the sixth floor, letting Jay out.

“Call me if you need me, I’m in 620,” Jay stated as he left.

“How the hell did that happen? Security is usually on the floor below us, I don’t think I really like that set up,” AJ mumbled.

“It’s gonna be okay AJ,” Nick reassured AJ as well as himself. The elevator jerked to a stop on the eighth floor.

Nick narrowed his eyes as he looked down the end of the hall. He saw what looked like three girls standing there. “Shit, hey, I’ll catch ya later,” he said quickly as he grabbed at his bag and dashed for the room. It took him three tries until he finally got the cared into the slot that opened the door.

Once inside the room, he pushed the door shut and bolted it.

“Being a little paranoid Nicky?”

Nick whirled around and found Brian laying on a bed watching television.

Throwing his bag on the bed next to Brian, he stared at the TV. “How the hell did you get here before me and why the hell are you in my room?”

Brian continued to watch the program. “There was a mix up by the hotel, something about over booking so I said I would share a room with you, I figured you wouldn’t mind. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Oh.... no,” Nick sighed. “I was just looking forward to doing my own little thing, making calls and stuff, I guess there wasn’t much of a choice in this anyways.”

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Brian suggested.

Nick nodded. “Yeah... right.”

~*~*~*~

AJ slid into his hotel room and plunked his bag down onto his bed. Walking over to the window, he drew the drapes shut and took the phone off the hook. Walking into the bathroom, he turned the faucet on to draw a bath. The temperature of the water was left as hot as he could stand it.

He was a little angry to see that the room wasn’t stocked to his specifications, but not angry enough to call the front desk. He decided to blow it off this time.

As he was getting undressed for his bath, AJ looked at his watch before setting it down on the counter.

“Four fifteen,” he mumbled as he placed it down. He knew that meant he would have a little time to sak, call room service and be ready to leave for the show. He was so tired he wished that they didn’t have a tour stop tonight.

Slowly, he eased his body into the scalding hot water and placed a hot washcloth over his face.

The sound of someone pounding on the door startled AJ and he jumped. He realized that he must have fallen asleep when he noticed that the water had become ice cold.

“Ah shit,” AJ stated as he jumped out of the tub and wrapped a white towel around his waist.

Walking up to the door, AJ looked out the peep hole. “Who is it?”

“It’s Mitch, you okay in there, no one could get ahold of you on the phone.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, what time is it?”

“Five thirty. Cal and Mike said they were gonna be ordering room service, you want something added on?”

“I guess the usual room service burger will do me,” AJ replied.

AJ walked back into the bathroom and quickly washed his face and put on his black Adidas running gear and white Nike tennis shoes. Grabbing his room card, he sighed as he turned the lights out.

This was going to be a long night.

~*~*~*~

“Get the hell out of my way, fat ass,” AJ sputtered to Nick as he tried to move over towards a corner of the room in the tight quarters they were situated in.

Nick’s response to AJ’s suggestion was leaning back and pinning him with his body between the wall.

“Guys, would you knock it off!” Kevin yelled in a disgusted tone.

“Hey! I’m on the phone, be quiet,” Howie yelled as he cupped his hand over the receiver.

“Judas Kev, who died and made you lord and master?” Nick mumbled as he let AJ go. He walked over to his duffelbag and started throwing clothes out. “Okay, where the hell is my walkman?”

“I didn’t take it, airhead, you probably left it on the bus,” AJ sneered.

“Where the hell is Brian, anyways?” Nick asked to no one in particular.

“I think he was in the bathroom last I knew,” Kevin replied.

AJ looked at his watch. “How much more time do you think we have?”

“Oh, um, I think another hour, hour and a half,” Kevin stated, looking at his watch.

“Just peachy,” Nick remarked. “Where the hell is my gameboy?”

“Shut up, would ya,” AJ replied.

Nick finally found his gameboy and went over to the farthest corner of the room and slumped down in a chair and began playing a game. The noise from the auditorium was muffled, but all of the guys in the small room could hear the music that was coming from the opening act.

Brian entered the room, his duffelbag slung over his shoulder. He took in the surroundings of the room: Howie on his cell phone, Kevin reading a novel, Nick in a corner playing a gameboy game and AJ reading a comic.

“Well, isn’t this a cozy family?” Brian remarked as he dropped the bag onto the floor.

No one spoke a word, the silence was interrupted by the noise from the gameboy.

“Or not,” Brian stated.

He walked over towards the clothing rack that had his name on it. Brian selected the wardrobe for the first act in the show and took his shirt off. “Don’t you think y’all should be getting ready?”

Nick shook his head no. “Not me, those things are hot and sweaty. I’m gonna wait until the very last minute.”

“Yeah, how can you wear that hot thing for so damn long?” AJ questioned. “I mean, black and blue leather under those hot lights, someone in design had their head up their ass when they drew that one up.”

Brian just shook his head as he listened to Nick and AJ complain about the costume. He already determined by the “air” in the room that this was not going to be a good concert tonight.

~*~*~*~

“Fifteen minutes, guys,” one of the managers yelled into the cramped dressing room. Reluctantly, AJ and Nick grabbed their gear and started preparing to get dressed for the show.

“You’re invading my space,” AJ growled at Nick.

“I was here first, ass,” Nick shot back.

“Guys, wouldja please just shut up!” Kevin ordered, barely looking up from the Stephen King novel he was reading.

“I’m pretty thankful this venue wasn’t able to have preshow passes,” AJ mumbled as he put a leg into his leather pants.

“Yo, AJ, your mom’s at the door,” Howie yelled across the room.

“Oh mommas boy, is she here to zip your pants up?” Nick taunted AJ.

AJ snapped when Nick started teasing him. He quickly rushed towards him and pinned him against the wall.

“KNOCK IT OFF, BOTH OF YOU!!” Brian yelled.

Brian’s yelling got both of their attention. AJ let go of Nick’s shirt and turned away and walked over towards his mother who instantly soothed her son. Nick retreated back to his corner, scooping up the game boy and started to play a game.

“I swear, you two should be put in separate dressing rooms before you kill each other,” Brian muttered.

“Bite me,” Nick hissed.

“Nick, you’re always provoking my baby,” Denise McCLain pointed out as she held AJ’s hand. “You need to be nicer to him, after all he is the lead singer of the group.”

Nick rolled his eyes and was about to respond to her when he caught a look from Brian and decided it was best not to say anything more.

“Time to go guys,” a stagehand called out as he opened the dressing room door.

Quietly, they gathered in the hallway, each placing a hand in the center and bowing their heads. They were joined by their security guards and other members of their entourage and was led in prayer, this time by Brian.

“Heavenly Father, please guide our hearts, minds and souls. Use us as instruments to reach out to others and touch their lives. We ask that we have a safe concert and that everyone is covered by your loving hands so no harm will come. Amen.”

After the prayer, the guys followed the stage hand down a narrow path to the back of the stage setup. As they were taking their mark, AJ brushed past Nick harder than necessary, knocking him down to the ground.

“What the hell was that for?” Nick yelled as he was rubbing his butt, his voice was over the sound of the preshow.

“That was for the nasty remark you made about my mom,” AJ replied. “And this, this is from me,” AJ yelled as he shoved Nick in the back.

“I swear I’ve never seen the likes of this before! You two act like five year olds!”

Nick and AJ sat on the couch and flinched every so often as Kevin’s voice boomed, directing all of his comments at the two of them. The concert was a near disaster according to him and he was making every effort to make the two of them feel guilty about it.

“Oh come on Kev, it really wasn’t that bad,” AJ protested.

The glare that Kevin shot at AJ easily could have cut him in two and buried him six feet under.

“You know the saddest part of all of this? Those kids out there really look up to you guys and you pretty much let them down. I’m disappointed in both of you. Go ahead and grab your gear so we can go.”

Both men watched Kevin turn on and storm off. Brian walked past and looked at the two of them, one eyebrow raised.

“WHAT?” Nick yelled out. “JUDAS! NOT YOU TOO BRI! WHAT THE HELL!”

Nick jumped off the couch and smacked AJ hard in the shoulder. “This is all because of you dumbass.”

Rubbing his left shoulder, AJ got up off the couch and walked past Nick towards the door. Nick set his jaw as he watched AJ walk out of the room, he wanted to make some type of nasty remark towards him but opted to keep his mouth shut for a change. He walked over towards the corner, grabbing his gear and tossing it over his shoulder and then trudged towards the exit.

The dull humming of the bus engine seemed to add to the tension in the air as Nick boarded the bus and brushed past AJ laying across a seat, hat pulled over his face.

“Move your feet you asshole,” Nick shouted at AJ. “I can’t get through if your damn feet are hanging out in the aisle. Don’t you have a bunk you could lay in and make everyone’s lives a little happier?”

“Fuck you,” was the blunt reply.

“Fine, be that way then,” Nick said through gritted teeth as he pushed his way through AJ’s legs.

~*~*~*~*~

The bus jerked to a sudden stop, causing Nick to bump his head on the wall in his bunk. He heard someone call out the words, ‘next stop’ and he quietly moaned as he summonded up the strength to climb out of his bunk and get to the hotel room.

“Hey Nicky, did you sleep well?” Brian asked as Nick emerged from his bunk.

Tired, Nick could only manage a slight nod but then added, “Once I didn’t have to look at AJ’s face, it was a very pleasant night,” when AJ came into view.

Brian sighed loudly. “Would you guys please give it a rest? What the heck is y’all’s problem anyway? This has been going on since Ft. Lauderdale and I don’t even see it stopping until we make the circle back to Tampa and disbanding.”

Nick shrugged his shoulders. “He’s just been getting on my nerves lately, I guess.”

“Well, the two of you better start making amends because it’s starting to show up during the shows and there are so many kids that look up to both of you that if they knew how you guys were behaving, it would break their little hearts.”

“Well, I’m making an effort, you should talk to that tattoed ass over there,” Nick replied.

“Don’t make me come over there and have to shut you up!” AJ replied, the glare in his eyes gave a warning look.

“I give up,” Brian groaned.

~*~*~*~*~

“Okay, so how many more stops until we’re done with this mess?” Kevin asked Brian as he entered the hotel room they were sharing.

“I think three, I’m not too sure,” was the reply.

“Well, where are we right now?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, heck, I don’t even have a clue as to what day this is either. I guess we’d have to ask one of the roadies or something to figure it out.”

Kevin opened up the drawer to the desk in the room. Pulling out the stationery pad, he glanced at the name on the tablet. “Sheraton Hotels, Lexington Kentucky.”

Brian stared as the pad hit the table and then slid off the side onto the floor.

“How messed up are we? Hell, we’re in our own fricken home town and we don’t know it!?”

“It was dark when we pulled in,” Brian offered.

“It’s AJ and Nick’s fault, they have us so damned stressed out, neither one of us can think straight!”

“Well, at least they have their own rooms tonight so they can calm down. I think the togetherness has gotten to them,” Brian stated.

“Togetherness my ass! You know just as well as I that those two have been at each others throats since the group was formed,” Kevin spat.

“Let’s just get some shut eye, things should be cooled off in the morning.”

Kevin nodded in agreement and called dibs on the bathroom first. Brian smiled and said it didn’t matter, he had to call Leighanne before he went to bed anyway.

~*~*~*~*~

Nick layed across the bed in his hotel room, typing out emails on his laptop keyboard. None of his friends were online tonight and that added to his loneliness. A sudden knock on the door tore him away from his thoughts.

“Nick, it’s me, AJ, let me in,” came the voice from the other side of the door.

Nick narrowed his eyes at the door. “Why should I let you in?”

“Come on Nick, I want to make amends, bury the hatchet,” AJ begged.

Reluctantly, Nick dragged his body off the bed and opened the door. Instead of finding a dressed-down AJ, he discovered that he was dressed like he was ready to go out on the town.

“Get dressed Nicky, we’re gonna go clubbing,” AJ said in a hoarse voice.

“Clubbing? Are you crazy? It’s after midnight and besides, Brian and Kevin would kill us.”

“They told us to start getting along, right?”

“Yes.”

“Be good friends again?”

“Yup.”

“Then what better way than to share some drinks and stories?”

Nick folded his arms across his chest. “I dunno AJ, this probably wouldn’t be a very good idea.”

“Good idea hell, god Nick, you’re 21 and that makes you legal and an adult so what’s the problem?”

“Good point, give me a sec to get dressed,” Nick replied as he grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and started switching his boxers and tee shirt for street clothes. “Hey, what about Howie? He usually likes to go clubbing too.”

“He decided to be an old man tonight and said something about feeling sick with a cold. Come on, you about done?”

Grabbing his hotel card and a ball cap, Nick headed for the door.

“Alright man, the chariot awaits us,” AJ sang out happily.

Nick stopped quickly causing AJ to run into his heels. “Whoa, wait, what about security?”

“Screw security, you yourself told me it was after midnight. It’s going to be fun, we don’t need them tagging along and messing it up for us, do we?”

“No, I guess not,” Nick agreed.

~*~*~*~

“So-o-o-o-o bay bee, wha’s yur name?” Nick slurred.

AJ sat back in the booth, laughing uncontrollably. “Judas Nick, we’ve only been here for an hour and you’re already wasted. Dude, you make for a cheap evening.”

Nick smiled at AJ and clumsily grabbed his drink and finished it off. “I’s glad y’all wanted to do this.”

“Me too, it was a damn good ice breaker,” AJ replied with a grin as he watched Nick finish his own drink and then the one in front of him. “Whoa, maybe you should slow it down.”

“Slow down? I’m jus warming up,” Nick replied as he tagged down the waitress and signaled for two more drinks.

AJ was beginning to slowly realize that Nick was getting himself into trouble. “Seriously Nick, you need to back it off some.”

The waitress came to the table and set down two mixed drinks in front of Nick.

“Tanks honey,” Nick mumbled. He unsteadily grabbed a glass, the contents spilling over the sides. Half of the drink wound up on his shirt, a small portion in his mouth. Nick wobbily looked over towards AJ.

“Nick, you’re scaring me here,” AJ pleaded. His worst fears were suddenly realized when Nick’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, his hand falling down on the table, the glass shattered, cutting his hand.

“Oh shit!” AJ sputtered as he quickly grabbed a napkin and placed it on the wound. Blood soaked the napkin quickly, making AJ realize that the cut was worse than he could have hoped for. He quickly started slapping Nick’s face. “Buddy... Nick, buddy, come on! Dude, you gotta wake up so we can walk outta here!”

The despiration in AJ’s voice was evident to the people around them. He quickly cleared his throat and begged off that Nick was exhausted from the tour as he grabbed an arm and started to pull him from the booth. The challenge came for AJ when he attempted to stand Nick up and throw an arm around his shoulder. He urgently whispered into Nick’s ear. “Come on, help me, man, we gotta get you to a hospital or something for your hand.”

As if the desperate sound in his voice caused it, Nick somehow managed to half help AJ walk towards the door, all the while his head was bobbing up and down, the blood from his cut leaving droplets on the floor.

~*~*~*~*~

“AJ! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU AND NICK DO LAST NIGHT?” Kevin yelled from the other side of the hotel room door.

AJ barely lifted his head off the pillow. The clock read 7:22am, he and Nick had only been back since 5:45am. “Shit.”

Kevin started pounding on the door. “OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!”

~*~*~*~

AJ threw the covers off and reluctantly walked towards the door. He barely had the door open when Kevin pushed his way past AJ, nearly knocking him down. By the look that was on Kevin’s face, AJ knew that there wasn’t going to be an easy way around Kevin’s anger.

“So what the hell went on last night?”

AJ decided to play dumb. “What do you mean?”

Kevin raked a hand through his hair. “You know exactly what I mean. Good god AJ. Nick’s door wasn’t shut tight so naturally I went in to check and make sure he was okay. I found him laying ontop of the bed, in his clothes, his hand in a huge white bandage, blood stains on his pants and to top it all off he reeked of alcohol. I asked him what went on, but he couldn’t tell me or at least I couldn’t understand a word of what he told me.” Kevin paused for effect as he folded his arms across his chest. “So...... now, you want to tell me what exactly you two did last night?”

AJ leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling cornered. “Me and Nicky went for last call.”

“Last call my ass, tell me what you did!” Kevin demanded.

AJ put his hands up as if to deflect a punch that Kevin seemed to be wanting to deliver at any given moment. “I swear, it’s the truth. I took Nicky out for last call since you, Brian and Howie wanted us to get along.”

Kevin didn’t move from his place. “Keep going.”

AJ grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the nightstand and quickly lit up. Taking a deep drag from the cigarette, he waited a few moments before exhaling the smoke, feeling the icy stare of Kevin the whole time.

“Well, he was having a good time and the kid don’t know his limits---”

“Which is one reason not to take him to a nightclub,” Kevin interrupted.

“So after several mixed drinks, he kinda passed out and dropped a glass down on the table and he cut his hand.”

“Shit,” Kevin mumbled under his breath.

“Hey I covered it, I got Nick out of the booth and walked him out of the bar and took him to a walk in clinic, so there won’t be any press on this on, I handled it,” AJ replied, satisfied with himself in handling the situation.

“You got lucky this time then,” Kevin replied but stopped his sentence when Brian walked through the open door, looking down at a newspaper he was holding.

“Seems you and Nick had a little too much fun last night,” Brian stated softly as he turned the front page of the paper around to show Kevin and AJ.

Both Kevin and AJ stood there staring at the colored photo on the front page of the paper, mouths agape.

“Shit,” both men stated in unison.

The front page had a photo that had been taken of AJ and Nick while they were on their way out the front door of the bar. Nick appeared to be clearly drunk, the picture caught the full image of him leaning heavily against AJ, the blood on his shirt and pants and the cut still bleeding.

“Where’s Nick?” Brian asked as he glanced around the hotel room.

“He’s in his room sleeping it off,” came the short reply from AJ.

“Not the best idea AJ, he really shouldn’t be left alone,” Brian said as he quickly left the room.

“You are in a world of shit when Bruce gets ahold of this info,” Kevin spat angrily. “You know damn well not to pull this kind of crap ontour. God, I swear you’re so damn self centered it’s not even funny.”

*~*~*~*~*~

“Nick?” Brian called out softly as he pushed the door further open. His breath caught in his throat when he found his best friend sprawled out ontop of the bed. Brian quietly walked over to the bed and gently nudged Nick, ignoring the strong odor of alcohol.

Instinctively, Nick rolled away from Brian’s hand, but after several attempts at getting a response from Nick, he was rewarded.

“mmmmmm,” Nick moaned.

“Nick?”

“mmm, go away, ooooh. What the hell was I thinking?” Nick whispered.

“Hungover?” Brian whispered.

“yes.”

“The exact reason why I skip the nightclub scene Nick,” Brian replied.

Nick quickly pulled the bandaged hand away from himself when he touched his face. “what the hell?”

“Do you remember?”

“no.”

“Another reason why I don’t do the club scene,” Brian replied with a smile wasn’t being held in very well. “I suggest you put a shoe bag over your hand and take a long, hot shower. Kevin is going to want to talk to you and you might as well be cleaned up before the interrogation.” Brian held his hands up and made quote marks when he said the word interrogation. Kevin’s drills were well known by everyone in the group and those from management all the way down to the caterers on a video shoot.

“i don’t wanna,” Nick quietly protested.

“I know you don’t but you really don’t have too much of a choice and besides, you might feel better after a hot shower. I’ll see if I can find some Tylenol and then you can take it when you get cleaned up.”

Nick slowly got up off the bed and then paused to watch Brian look through the bags for the Tylenol.

“Bri?”

“mmm?” He didn’t face Nick, he kept looking through the luggage.

“Thanks.”

Brian glanced up at Nick. “Buddy, I’m always gonna be there for you and you know it.”

~*~*~*~

Nick stood in the shower, letting the hot water wash over his head and neck. Still shaky on his feet, he leaned heavily against the wall for support when he stepped out of the shower and throughout the entire time of getting dressed.

“Here, take these,” Brian held his hand out when Nick entered the room.

Nick scooped up the tylenol and took the glass of water that Brian offered. Nick’s head was pounding and he gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the white hotel towel over over his face.

Brian stood there for a few moments, staring at Nick’s figure, hunched over on the edge of the bed, the towel hanging over his head. He spotted the pair of beach shoes in the corner and brought them over to Nick. “Hey, slip these on so we can go down to Kev’s room.”

“I’m not ready,” Nick softly moaned.

Brian narrowed his eyes at the toweled head. “Not ready or don’t want to?”

Nick slowly laid his body back across the bed. “I don’t wanna.”

Brian finally caught the logo on the front of the t-shirt Nick was wearing and smirked. “Well you have to, no other choice. Besides Nick, the sooner you do this, the sooner you can come back and crawl into bed. Oh, and nice shirt.”

Nick wasn’t sure why Brian was complimenting him on his shirt until he looked down. He was wearing the shirt that read: ‘Have a nice day someplace else.’ He smiled sheepishly under the towel.

“So are you ready? You have to face the music,” Brian coaxed.

Hearing that phrase, Nick groaned inwardly. He hated that phrase more than anything. It was sort of Brian’s private little motto. “Yeah I guess.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nick and AJ sat in the chairs in the corner of the room while Brian leaned against a wall. Nobody said a word as Kevin paced the room. Nick’s hand was throbbing and he just wanted to get out of there and go back to bed and take care of the migraine he thought for sure he was getting.

Kevin grabbed the newspaper from Brian’s hands and tossed it on the table in front of Nick. “See this? It’s a good picture of you, I can see that scar on your forehead.”

Nick squinted as he tried to focus his bloodshot eyes on the front page photo. “Oh shit.”

“No kidding. Do you guys see what carefree clubbing can lead up to? From what I hear Nick didn’t remember how he cut his hand. What if you and dumbass AJ had picked up some girls? Would you remember what you did with them if he had?”

“Sure I would,” Nick quietly defended.

“No, I think not,” Kevin boomed. He seemed to take pleasure in watching Nick squirm in his chair. AJ looked uncomfortable but not as much as Kevin would have liked to see. “Both of you need to realize that there are girls out there, well girls and boys, that look up to you and imitate everything you say and do and I think getting shitfaced is not in the best of ideas that I’ve seen coming from you so far. I think they’d expect it from AJ, but god Nick, not you.”

“Hey now,” AJ growled. “Are you saying I drink too much and it’s expected of me?”

“If the shoe fits,” Kevin hissed.

“Good grief, would the both of you just calm down?” Brian sighed. “Kevin you’ve proved your point that you’re pissed at AJ and Nick. Let’s just clear the slate and go on from here okay? We have a few more shows to do and then we get our seven week break, let’s just get through this without killing each other.

“Just remember, NO MORE NIGHTCLUBS!” Kevin growled.

Nick flinched as the words reached his ears. Not a good thing to yell to someone with a hangover. Suddenly, he announced that he felt sick and clamped a hand across his mouth as he bolted towards the bathroom.

“Ah, that’s just peachy,” Kevin mumbled.

~*~*~*~*~

Brian watched as Nick slowly went through the motions of getting suited up for the first act of the show. His movements were stiff and mechanical. The migraine Nick had been expecting had shown up in full force.

Staring at Nick, he finally got him to look over at him. “Are you gonna be able to work tonight?”

“I have to, there’s no other choice,” Nick replied, his voice barely broke above a whisper.

“But look at you and listen to your voice, you can hardly move and you can’t talk loud. How the heck are you going to be able to sing?”

Nick repeated his reply again. “I have to, there’s no other choice.”

Leaving the green room, Brian brushed past a lazy AJ, legs flopped over the side of a chair, remote control in his hand.

“Where you off to in a hurry?” AJ called out.

Brian chose not to answer, he kept heading out the door down the hall towards where the PR manager and Kevin were likely to be. When he reached the meeting room door, Brian took a deep breath and knocked.

“It’s open,” Bruce yelled.

Brian clenched and unclenched his fists. He knew that Bruce was going to hit the ceiling but he had to tell him about Nick, there was no way around it. He entered the room, finding Kevin and Bruce sitting at a small table, papers layed out in front of them. Brian waited for Bruce to direct his attention towards him.

Brian decided to just plunge into it. “It’s Nick he’s too sick to go on tonight.”

An odd look came across Bruce’s face. “Well, Nick should have known better than to get all shitfaced last night. Sorry, I don’t allow cancellations of performers because of hangovers.”

“Oh come on Bruce, he can barely talk or move. He has a migraine,” Brian defended. He looked over at Kevin hoping that he would jump to Nick’s defense but was only met with a cold stare.

“Listen, he can and he will go out there and do his job,” Bruce demanded.

“Oh and if he doesn’t what are you gonna do, fire him?”

“Fire isn’t the word I would choose, it would be more like fine him.”

Brian shot a look at Kevin. “Aren’t you going to do anything? Come on Kev, have a heart!”

Kevin shrugged his shoulders and looked back down at the papers that were laying in front of him on the table.

“I can’t believe how cold and uncaring you two are! Nick can’t work like this and you two know it, what kind of a point are you trying to prove here?” Brian angrily stated.

Bruce chuckled. “The point I’m trying to prove is that you people have no business partying during a tour especially those of you that don’t know what the hell they’re doing and get hurt in the process and have media on their asses and me to cover it up.”

“I think Nick’s already learned his lesson,” Brian defended.

“Good, because he will surely be paying for it tonight,” Bruce replied casually.

Brian folded his arms across his chest defensively. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Bruce looked up. “Do you have anything else important to say because I am a busy man and I have things that need to be taken care of.”

Shaking his head, Brian turned and walked out of the room.

~*~*~*~*~

The paper skidded across the table on the bus. Nick barely lifted his head to see what the commotion was all about. He was still nursing the migraine headache as well as his throbbing hand from the cut.

“Well,” Kevin growled, “there it is, a shitty review, compliments of you.”

“What the hell crawled up your ass and died?” Nick hissed.

Kevin glared at Nick laying back across the seat. “YOU.”

“What the hell did I do to you?”

“For the love of God, what’s going on out here?” Brian asked as he popped his head out of the curtained bunk.

“Kev’s blaming a shitty review on me again,” Nick called out.

“Kev, leave Nick alone, we only have one more day and you can go back to Cali and chill, okay?”

Ignoring Brian’s suggestion, Kevin picked up the paper and started to read the article outloud:

Boyband leaves ticket holders unsure if they were seeing a concert or a pathetic charity event. When the Backstreet Boys hit the stage, all anticipation was in the air as the crowd expected to be wow’d by the group but were sadly disappointed the moment band member Nick Carter took the stage. Although they expected the slow and miscalculated dance steps from Carter, his voice was what left them stunned. Singing offkey at the times he was heard - which wasn’t very many - rumor had it he was suffering a migrane headache. Can we say hangover? The pictures clearly showed Carter leaving a bar leaning heavily on band member AJ McLean, his bloodied hand and clothes suggested a barfight gone bad. Even the rest of the group seemed out of sorts and not really wanting to be there in the first place. Will this band be around next year? Sometimes it’s better to stay in bed.

“Hey don’t be blaming that on Nick! I told you he had a headache,” Brian stepped up in Nick’s defense.

“Nick this last show better be perfect or I think we will be finished thanks to you,” Kevin spat as he turned and walked off.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nick had a mixture of dread and relief when the bus ground to a halt outside of the hotel in Tampa. This was the stop all of them had been waiting for - the end of the four month tour stint. All of it would have been gread, Nick surmised, except for Kevin’s anger at the bar incident that no one had talked about since the last concert stop that generated the bad review.

“Hey Nicky, lemme help you with that,” AJ stated as he reached up and tugged at Nick’s backpack that had been stowed in a tight overhead compartment..

Nick managed a slight smile as he stood back to let AJ have a go at moving the stubborn object. “Thanks AJ, at least I know I have one friend around me.”

AJ pulled the backpack out of the compartment and heaved it onto the bus floor. “Nick, you know that’s not true, we’re not mad at you, it’s just that dumbass, Kevin. You know he’s trying to suck up to Bruce so he plays it up. That’s it, nothing else. Ignore him, he just needs this break as much as the rest of us.”

“Easier said than done,” Nick replied.

“Let’s go and find out our room assignments, I’m thinking of a long, hot shower and then bed,” AJ suggested.

~*~*~*~*~

Nick looked at Mike, one of the tour managers and then back at the room assignment slip. “There has to be some mistake,” he mumbled as he stared at the sheet in disbelief.

“Let me see that,” AJ growled as he reached over Nick’s shoulder and grabbed the yellow sheet of paper. “Okay, problem solved. I’m sure Kevin will adjust to being in a room all by himself,” AJ remarked in a sarcastic voice. “Give me your pen, Mike.”

Both men watched as AJ took the black marker and crossed Nick’s name out below Kevin’s. “Let’s go see if they have an extra room, this is plain assinine that they would have even considered putting you and Kevin in a room together when we’ve been having rooms to ourselves pretty much all along.”

AJ and Nick approached the counter in the lobby of the hotel. A young clerk smiled as she acknowledged their presence.

“I.... I need a room for tonight,” Nick stammered.

The young girl’s smile waned. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry, all the rooms are taken. This is a busy weekend with the concert you know.”

“Figures. Hey Nicky, I bet a fan wouldn’t mind sharing her room with you,” AJ grinned.

“Oh yeah, stick me in a room with some psycho and I would end up being accosted or something, no thanks.”

“Okay, then it’s settled, you bunk with me,” AJ stated firmly.

“No way man, I kinda need to be alone and you need your space, besides you snore.”

“Oh, like you don’t?” AJ retorted playfully.

Nick directed his attention back to the clerk at the counter. “Is there anyway possible that you could find out if there’s another hotel with a room available?”

“Well, I can, but I’m not sure what I would find. With the concert in town, all the good hotels are pretty booked up,” she replied.

“I don’t care if it’s a room at a gas station, I just need a room,” Nick stated.

~*~*~*~*~

The words ‘Jan’s Rooms’ seem to scream out as it flashed repeatidly in bright red neon colors, the sign perched outside the windows on the top floor of the motel. Adding insult to Nick’s injury were the words ‘Rooms by the hour.’

“Just peachy,” Nick mumbled as he handed the cabby money for fare plus tip.

“Are you sure you want out here?” the driver asked as he looked at the old brick building.

“Unfortunately, yeah, I’m sure,” Nick sighed as he exited the cab, slinging a dark green carryon bag over his shoulder.

He cautiously approached the worn out steps to the hotel. A ripped screen door seemed to be hanging percariously, threatening to drop off it’s hinges at any given moment. The smells of the stale motel hung in the air, a mixture of body odor and whiskey.

As he hesitantly approached the counter, he was greeted by a pencil thin woman, who appeared to be in her 40’s but was actually only 23. Her brown shoulder length hair was greasy and matted looking, her smile was missing a few front teeth. She took a deep drag off her cigarette before she acknowledged him.

“What do ya want?” she glared as she squashed the cigarette out in the glass ashtray.

“A room,” Nick replied, his voice barely audible.

“What? Speak up! I can’t hear you!”

Clearing his throat, Nick tried again. “I need a room.”

“Oh for chrissake,” the woman hissed as she slammed a thick ledger onto the counter. “Ya want it for an hour or something?”

Nick’s eyes widened when he realized what she meant. “Oh god, no. I need it for a day, twenty-four hours.”

“Thirty-five fifty, here’s a towel, phone is in the hall, bathroom is down the hall next to the phone,” she replied as she slammed a key onto the counter and a dingy white bath towel and washcloth. “I need the money and your driver’s license and step on it, I’m missin Springer.”

Nick quickly tossed the money on the counter along with his license. The woman snatched the identification up and quickly ran a photocopy of it and practically threw it back at Nick, with it nearly skidding off the edge when it slid to a stop.

“Enjoy your stay.”

Wordlessly, he grabbed the carryon bag and trudged up the stairs towards the top floor. The halls looked dark and dingy, fingerprints on the windows in the stair landings seemed to add to the creepiness of the motel. Sounds of a police siren in the distance didn’t help either. Nick found the door to his room, number 416 and inserted the key and cautiously pushed the door open. He found a twin sized bed, a small dresser and one hanger on a rack.

Noticing a flashing coming from the window in his room, Nick placed the bag ontop of the stained bedspread and walked cautiously towards the window.

“Ah shit, that figures,” he mumbled when he lifted the blinds to discover that the neon sign was situated directly outside the window in his room.

*~*~*~*~*~

“Where the hell is that kid at?” Kevin fumed as he paced the small green room. “He knows we have meet and greet at 6:30 and good god here it’s almost 6:15 and no Nick!”

“Kev, he’s probably stuck in traffic,” Brian quietly suggested.

“Traffic my ass, he’s probably playing some dumb assed Nintendo Game or god forbid he’s online in a chat house---”

“Chatroom,” Howie corrected, grinning.

“Wipe that stupid fucking grin off your face! You probably added the fuel to this whole Nick being gone thing and him screwing up at every damn chance he gets!”

“Kevin, wouldja just sit back down and chill, I’m sure he’s probably in the lot right now,” AJ soothed.

As he turned and walked towards the brown upholstered couch, Kevin made sure he made eye contact with all that were waiting in the green room, the video on Mtv seemed to add more fire to his anger.

~*~*~*~*~

“CARLOS, YOU FILTHY SWINE!”

Nick jerked awake when the yells waifed through the thin motel walls. He sleepily laid on the bed, trying to gather his surroundings, not sure if he really wanted to be awake just yet. The motel he was in provided no sound proof barriers, and he had a hard time catching sleep, if any during the night. Nick rolled over onto his side and glanced at the red digital numbers on his alarm clock.

5:46

Nick rolled onto his back. ‘Okay, this is going to be a long night.’

Suddenly, realty hit his sleep deprived brain and Nick sat up in bed.

“Oh shit! Sonofa bitch!” He looked around the room for the motel phone and then remembered that the phone was down the hall next to the bathrooms. His eyes fell onto the place where he had laid his cellphone after he checked into the room. Nick’s eyes trailed from the empty dresser top over towards half opened door to the room. “Awe shit!”

Springing from the bed, he raced over to the dresser and frantically started pulling drawers open, searching for his phone...wallet, anything he brought. The sick feeling that was gnawing in his stomach was confirmed. He had been robbed and the theives not only took his cellphone and his wallet, they took his travel bag as well. He was left wearing his blue boxers and a black South Park tee shirt.

Taking the stairs two steps at a time, Nick ran down to the lobby and slapped his palm on the silver bell that sat on the counter.

“KNOCK IT OFF!” A voice boomed from the back room.

“I need help!” Nick pleaded.

Evidentally the man in the back room didn’t seem to care. “Don’t we all?”

“No, I seriously need help, I’ve been robbed!”

“Better than being murdered,” came the reply.

“I need to get to The Ice Palace for the show,” Nick begged. “Let me use the phone.”

The man gestured over at the desk phone, it had a lock on the receiver. “You got the cash?”

“I just told you I was freakin robbed,” Nick stated through gritted teeth.

“Sorry to hear, but I still need money to place your personal calls, pal.”

Nick raked a hand through his hair, tears of frustaition coming to his eyes. He slumped against the lobby wall. “I’m in a world of shit with Kevin now.”

*~*~*~*~*

updated: 09/04/01

“Okay, okay, just calm down Nick, this will all work out,” Nick quietly told himself as thoughts ran through his mind. Walking barefoot out of the motel, he decided he didn’t need to annouce he was checking out, there was nothing left in the room to check. Swallowing his pride along with his fear, Nick hailed a cab.

“Oh thank god you came along, I need a ride to the Ice Palace--” Nick stated as he closed the door to the cab.

The driver sized Nick up in the rearview mirror. “You got the cash, kid?”

“Well... um... not on me at the moment,” Nick stammered.

“Get out of my cab,” the driver growled.

“I can give you the money when I reach the place, I’m good for it,” Nick insisted.

“No money, no deal, get out now!”

Watching the cab speed off after he reluctantly got out, Nick decided to vent his anger. “ASSHOLE!” With no other options in site, he folded his arms across his chest and started walking down the street towards the highway.

~*~*~*~*~

“Where’s Nick?” a young girl asked Kevin as she watched him hastily sign his name across a group picture.

Kevin gritted his teeth for a moment before he answered that particular question for the umpteemth time. “Nick’s been delayed, I’m sorry.”

“He’s not sick is he? I mean he’s okay isn’t he?” Another girl questioned Kevin a few fans later.

Kevin just smiled at the girl. As he looked down to sign his autograph, he mumbled through gritted teeth, “He’s okay now, but he won’t be for long.”

“What did you say? I didn’t hear you,” the girl asked as she accepted the paper from Kevin.

“I said he’s okay and he won’t be long,” Kevin lied with a smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~

As Nick walked up the onramp to the highway, he couldn’t help but see that the traffic was at a standstill.

“Oh just peachy.”

Walking along the shoulder, his eyes cast down towards the pavement, Nick kept walking. He glanced up once or twice and by the third time he saw it - a car that had words painted on the windows and the body. It read ‘BSB FANS 4 EVA.’ He also noticed some other cars with writing on them as well. One in particular caught his eye: ‘I LUV N’SYNC’.

“Oh shit, that’s why the traffic jam, assholes are having their staduim tour the same night. God, what lame assholes,” Nick mumbled.

“OHMYGOD!”

Hearing the screams, Nick looked around behind him. He couldn’t see anything out of place.

“OH MY GOD! THAT’S NICK CARTER!”

Nick winced when he heard his name screamed. His heart sank when he heard some car doors slamming and then footsteps rushing towards him.

“Nick? Is it you, Nick?”

Nick turned to look down at the girls that formed a semi-circle around him. “Don’t you think y’all should be in your cars?”

“You’re Nick Carter!” a tiny blond stated confidently.

He managed a slight grin. “Nope, you got me confused with him. I get this all the time.”

“Well you sure as heck look like him. Why are you walking on the road?”

“I seriously doubt Nick Carter would be out walking the streets, and I’m walking cause my car wouldn’t start and I got ripped off last night so I can’t afford a cab.”

The girls all nodded in agreement. “Yeah you’re right, Nick would be in a limo or something like that.”

Nick looked at them wearily. “So... um, are you girls headed to the concert tonight?”

“Yeah! We’ve been waiting for this for weeks,” they cheered.

“Backstreet concert?”

“Hell yeah! I wouldn’t pay a dime to see n’sync,” a girl in the crowd reassured.

“Okay, can you do me a huge favor?”

“Depends,” the older girl in the group replied.

“I need to catch a ride to that venue and I’m really late and I know my boss is pissed. Can I ride with you?”

“Well.... I don’t even know your name and besides, we’re in the middle of a traffic jam. I bet you would get there on foot before we would.”

“Okay, I can tell you how to get there a lot quicker on the backroads,” Nick replied with a smile.

“Sounds good, is that all?”

“I have connections, I’ll see if I can set you up.”

“Connections? You work with the band?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Okay, I guess we could do that, you look harmless enough. My name’s Roberta Jean,” the girl replied as she stuck her hand out.

“Mine’s Ni.. Nate.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

“So Brian, you going to worry now? I have to tell Bruce, he needs to know that Nick’s AWOL.”

“Kev, just give him more time,” Brian begged.

Kevin narrowed his eyes at Brian. “How much more you thinking?”

“For the love of God, Kevin, let it go for now! God, you drive me to chain smoking, I swear!” AJ hissed from his chair.

As Brian opened his mouth to speak, the door to the greenroom swung open, slamming against the wall. All eyes turned towards the sound to find Nick breathing heavy, sweating and looking completely washed out.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” Kevin boomed.

“SHUT THE HELL UP! Where’s Devon?” Nick questioned.

“I dunno,” Howie answered. “You want me to page him?”

“Please,” Nick replied.

“Why do you want Devon? Did you get laid and need to pay her off now?” AJ suggested.

“God AJ, it’s not always all about sex,” Nick snapped.

“Who says?” AJ snickered.

An young man wearing a red polo shirt with the words ‘EVENT STAFF’ in bold white letters stepped in the doorway to the greenroom. “Did someone page me?”

“Yeah I did, I need six front row, can you get it?” Nick questioned.

“Best I can do Nick is six second row, center, will that do?” Devon replied as he pulled the tickets out of his pocket.

“Good, gimme,” Nick demanded as he held his hand out. “Thanks Dev.”

All watched as Nick turned and sprinted down the hall towards an exit. Within a minutes, he returned.

“I gotta shower quick and I’ll be back suited up, okay?”

“Whoa... whoa, wait! Just where the hell were you and why are you dressed in your sleepwear and why are you barefoot?” Kevin demanded.

“Long story Kevin, remind me to fill you in after the show,” Nick replied as he turned away to look for his dressing room.

“FREEZE!”

Nick stopped in his quest for a shower. “Okay, I was robbed at that damn shithole of a motel. What you see on me is what I have left. Happy?”

“No, but I guess it will do for now,” Kevin replied.

Not allowing anymore minutes to pass for Kevin to think up another question for him, Nick made sure the door shut behind him tightly. He turned on the shower, letting the water warm up and started to peel off his clothes. Nick caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror.

“Good god, I look like shit,” he mumbled as he looked as his dirt-streaked face and his disheveled hair.

Pulling the shirt over his head, Nick stepped into the cramped shower stall and let the water run over his head and back. For a few brief moments, all the bad things that had been happening lately had disappeared from his head until a pounding on the door brought his thoughts back to reality.

“Nick, you have to be geared up in five, get out now!”

“YEAH... YEAH,” Nick yelled back at Kevin. “Damn that ass. He is such a stickler for time schedules. Like the fans would know that I was ten minutes late? We never start at the same time - ever!” he mumbled as he quickly lathered up his body.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Nick walked out of the bathroom and into the greenroom. “Okay where’s my crap?”

“Your crap is over there....see it, it says N - I - C - K in big bold letters” AJ replied.

“What the hell is your problem now? Cutting back on the nicotine?” Nick hissed.

“Guys! Knock it off!” Brian pleaded. “Everyone in on edge, let’s just everybody do their little parts to make this a fun show, okay?”

“Fuck.”

“Nick! Please!” Brian begged. “Okay, what’s wrong now?”

“I need a new pair of contacts and all that shit was in my bag that was stolen,” Nick replied.

AJ snickered. “Well, that leaves you with two choices then kid, you either wear your glasses or go out blind.”

“I guess I go out blind cause my glasses were stolen too....ass.”

As AJ tossed an annoyed look at Nick, a staff member stuck his head in the door. “Time to go guys.”

Nick stayed several paces back as the group and their entourage gathered in the hall. When they formed a circle, Kevin glared at Nick and gestured with his head for him to join in. Shrugging his shoulders, Nick reluctantly took hands with two different stagehands, staying far away from his bandmates. They bowed their heads as Brian led the prayer.

“Heavenly Father, please place your loving hands over us and the fans in the audience with us tonight. We thank you for this tour and we thank you for our friends and families. Please keep them safe as we leave one another tonight and guide us in our daily lives. In His name we pray...”

“Amen.”

The crew and the band let out a few whoops and hollers as they broke the circle and headed to their assigned spots. Nick narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out for sure where his station was at.

“Next one down, dumbass,” AJ hissed.

“What crawled up your ass and died?” Nick questioned.

“GUYS!” Kevin glared. “Shut up!”

The show seemed to be taking forever, but everyone did their parts in playing around on the stage and during songs to make it appear happy and harmonious for the fans. When the final curtain call came, they finished the songs and what ordinairly led to them going offstage ended up with each of them giving each other a tight hug and a whisper of ‘I’ll miss you and take care.’

~*~*~*~*~

“So Nicky, give me a call after you get settled, okay?” Brian asked as he shoved the last of his gear into his carryon bag.

“Sure thing Bri and thanks for not biting my head off, god knows I deserved it these past few weeks.”

“Don’t worry buddy, all’s forgotten,” Brian assured as he patted Nick on the back when he walked by.

Since the only gear Nick had to pack up was already packed on his bus, he started heading out to get a quick change of streetclothes before he caught his flight home. Howie had left thirty minutes ago to do a charity thing and Kevin had already said his goodbyes and apologies were exchanged.

“Devon? You around?” Nick called out.

No answer came. “Oh just great,” Nick mumbled as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Guess I walk on my own”

As he trudged towards the back door, he kept looking to his right and his left. As he put a hand on the door knob, someone screamed from behind him.

“EEEEEYAAAOOOW!!”

Nick turned to see AJ doubled over in laughter. “God Carter, you look like you just shit your pants!”

“What the hell AJ, you want to give me a heart attack or something?”

“Just chill, god I’m sorry. Let’s walk out together, there’s strength in numbers,” AJ suggested.

“Think they’ll be any teeny’s hanging around?”

“One could only wish,” AJ replied.

“Oh god, that is just sick and wrong,” Nick stated as he cautiously pushed the door open. “SHIT....RUN FOR IT!”

Both men sprinted towards Nick’s bus and literally dove in when the driver luckily saw them running and pulled the door open at an opportune moment.

“Shit, I can’t believe we’re terrified of a group of screaming girls,” AJ panted pulling his pack of cigarettes out of his front shirt pocket.

“Well, unless Neil here wants to drive us to the airport, I think we’re stuck until the parking lot clears.”

“No problem Nick, I’ll get you two there, just sit back and I’ll let you know when we get there,” the driver replied with a cheerful tone.

“Nick, I want to apologise for all the nasty and mean things I did these past few months on the road. I guess it was getting to me and I wasn’t being very nice to you. God knows you didn’t deserve to cut your hand.”

“Thanks AJ, but I’ve been a dick myself so I guess we’re considered even now, okay? No harm done.”

“Looks like this is our stop,” Nick commented as the bus made a sharp turn, indicating that they were pulling into a parking lot.

“You take care kid, and I’ll see you in six, okay?” AJ asked as he pulled his friend into a hug.

“You too AJ, and thanks for putting up with me.”

“Well it’s the least me and your fans can do, right?” AJ replied with a wink.

Nick’s only reply was an obvious fake smile and his middle finger waving proudly in the air.

AJ smiled, “Back at cha.”

The End

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