Blue Christmas

By: Lara

JC hated Christmas. It was official. He was required to do stupid things, spend his money on gifts people probably hated, and he had to pretend to be happy and thankful and full of Christmas cheer. Thanks, but no thanks. Christmas sucked.

And this Christmas was definitely high on the Suck-O-Meter. Lance was having a get-together for the five of them, three days before Christmas, and JC just HAD to come. It would be an all-nighter, just like the old days, when they’d stay up talking and drinking, even though most of them weren’t even old enough. JC HAD to be there, and he HAD to be festive. “Fuck festive,” JC griped, shoving some things into an overnight bag. He looked at his closet and smiled. “Festive this, Bass.”

It wasn’t Lance’s fault that he had hooked up with Joey. He had no clue that JC was interested. It wasn’t Lance’s fault that JC thought he was absolutely beautiful, and that JC didn’t have the balls to say anything about it. And JC was over it. He really was. He reminded himself of this as he drove to Lance’s. He knew Joey made Lance happy. He knew that they were as different as night and day, but that only made them more perfect for each other. Now, JC was just…jealous. Jealous of the love. Jealous of the fights and the yelling and the making up. Jealous of the snuggling and the cooing and the sweetness. JC wanted that. JC wanted someone to kiss under the mistletoe.

“Merry Christmas!” Lance threw open the door and froze. JC looked at the reindeer antlers adorning Lance’s blond head and sighed. Lance was so cute. “Uh…I guess maybe that could be considered festive.” Lance looked at JC’s black pants, black wifebeater and peacock blue shirt.

“At a Marilyn Manson concert, maybe.” Chris looked over Lance’s shoulder, his face comical under a jester’s hat. “Hey, I’m an elf. Nice to meet you.” He grabbed JC’s bag and took it to the room JC would be using.

“Uh…” JC looked at Lance, then Chris. “What…”

“Here.” Joey handed JC something. “For you.”

JC stared at Joey. “Since when is there a Christmas DEVIL?” He reached for the devil horns Joey wore.

“Trust me. It’s appropriate.” Lance glared at Joey, then took the halo from JC. “Here. Lemme do it.” He adjusted the halo headband in JC’s dark hair. “There. Our Christmas Angel.”

“Whatever.” JC thought less than angelic thoughts as he followed Lance and Joey into the family room. Justin was curled up in front of the fire roasting marshmallows. A red Santa hat covered his short curls.

“Hey, Jayce.” Justin smiled up at him and handed him a gooey handful of marshmallow.

“Gee…thanks.” JC quickly swallowed the sticky mess, almost gagging on the sweetness.

“So…what CD do I put in?” Joey asked, wandering over to Lance’s stack of Christmas CDs.

“Garth.”

“Barbra Streisand.”

“Destiny’s Child.”

“Bing Crosby.”

“Oh look…here’s the NSYNC CD.” Joey looked at Lance. “What the hell is THIS doing here?”

“I like that CD. I get a solo,” Lance said defensively.

“No thank you.” Joey loaded five CDs in and soon Nat King Cole’s voice poured out of the speakers.

“Yes. Nothing like Nat for Christmas,” JC said with a sigh. “Now if we were only about six hundred miles further north, we might actually get snow or something.”

“God, Lance, you shoulda given him the Grinch hat or something,” Chris griped, flopping down next to JC on the floor. “He’s a Scrooge.”

“Shut up, Chris,” JC muttered. He didn’t WANT to be Scrooge, but nothing about this Christmas made him happy.

“What’s your favorite Christmas song?” Justin asked suddenly. “I like Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

“That’s not Christmas,” Lance argued. He fell onto the floor, his head cushioning on Joey’s lap. “Either is Winter Wonderland or Jingle Bells.”

“You’re no fun,” Justin griped. “Okay…I like Rudolph. And I like Away in a Manger. Better?”

“I like Oh Holy Night,” Chris volunteered. “And The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

“You would,” JC muttered. “That is the most annoying song in the universe.”

“Lighten up, Chasez,” Chris said, pulling JC into a hug. He kept his arm around JC’s shoulders, and JC was shocked to realize how nice it felt with Chris close to him in this way. He didn’t move, and Chris didn’t push him away.

“Okay, what are YOUR favorites, JC?” Joey asked. JC thought.

“I Wonder as I Wander. Blue Christmas. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Silent Night,” JC rattled off. Chris nudged him.

“You picked all the sad ones. The depressing, minor key ones.”

“I like I’ll Be Home for Christmas, too,” Lance added. “It’s hopeful. I like songs like that.”

“You’re a hopeless romantic,” Joey told him, tweaking his nose.

“HopeFULL romantic, Fatone,” Lance corrected.

“Let’s sing,” Justin suggested. Everyone groaned. “No…I want you to sing whatever Christmas song you’re feeling right now. Just a line.”

Everyone thought for a moment. “Now bring us some figgy pudding…now bring us some figgy pudding…” Joey sang, and everyone laughed.

“Hog,” Lance said affectionately. “Christmas Eve will find me…where the lovelight beams…I’ll be home for Christmas…if only in my dreams…” He winked at JC, who looked away.

“This evening has been…so very nice…my mother will start to worry…my father will be pacing the floor…” Justin began.

“Justin, that’s NOT Christmas!” Lance almost screamed.

“God…anal much?” Justin said, annoyed. “Okay. Um…fall to your knees…oh hear…the angel voices…” Justin sang, then looked at Joey. “You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Joey? Falling to your knees…hearing the angelic voice of Lance screaming your name?” He teased.

“Shut the fuck up, Justin. That’s like sacrilegious or something.” JC got up and stomped out of the room and out of the house.

He sat on Lance’s porch swing and trembled with anger. Did Justin need to throw it in his and Chris’ faces? Just because they had no one, Justin had to bring up Joey and Lance and a fucking BLOW JOB. What was that all about? He wished Justin was with Britney. Then he wouldn’t be there, reminding JC of everything he didn’t have. He heard the door open and close.

“Hey,” Chris said, sitting down next to him. “What’s up?”

“Fucking Justin,” JC grumbled.

“You wanna fuck Justin?” Chris asked with interest. JC had to smile.

“No. Not Justin.”

“Joey?”

“No. Definitely not.”

“Lance?”

JC paused. “Not anymore.”

“Oh.” Chris sat silently for a moment. “You didn’t sing your song.”

“I don’t have anything I want to sing,” JC told him.

“Oh.” Chris was silent again. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas…let your hearts by light…from now on our troubles will be out of sight…” he sang softly. JC sighed and relaxed a bit. He felt Chris’ arm go around him once more. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas…make the yuletide gay…from now on our troubles will be miles away…” Somehow JC’s head was sliding down to Chris’ shoulder, and he could feel a hand stroking his hair. “Here we are as in olden days…happy golden days of yore…faithful friends who are dear to us…gather near to us…once more…”

“Through the years we all will be together…if the fates allow…” JC slowly sang. Chris stopped singing. “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough…and have yourself a merry little Christmas now…”

Chris lightly touched the halo. “You sing like an angel. You really ARE the Christmas angel.”

JC shrugged. “No…that’s you.”

“No…I’m the Christmas fool.” Chris pulled off his jester’s hat and JC sat back up.

“What does that mean?” JC asked.

“I just…every year I wish for the same thing for Christmas, even though I know it won’t happen…and I need to get over it. Most of the time I feel the way you’ve been acting tonight. I hate the holidays.”

“What is it? Maybe I can get it for you,” JC asked. He smiled. “Let the Christmas angel work his magic.”

“You can’t get it for me. It’s not in a store, JC,” Chris said softly, and suddenly JC knew. He saw the looks, felt the embraces and caresses, and he KNEW. He slowly took off the halo and set it in Chris’ dark hair. He picked up the jester’s hat and arranged it on his own head.

“You’re not the fool, Chris. I am. I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“You look like an idiot,” Chris said nervously, pulling the hat off of JC’s head. JC grabbed his hand.

“I have been an idiot, Chris. Forgive me?” JC whispered.

“Jayce…I…you…”

“Hold that thought,” Justin said from the doorway. Both men jumped. “Hold that right there.” He rushed back in the house.

“Oh, God,” Chris moaned. “I’m sorry, JC. I shouldn’t have…”

“Here.” Justin interrupted again, thrusting something into JC’s hand. “Use this. It works every time.” Justin ran back into the house. JC looked down at the mistletoe and smiled. He attached the small plant to the end of his jester hat, and put it back on.

“It’s a Christmas rule,” he said softly. Chris smiled and leaned forward. Their lips met in a warm kiss.

“Joy to the WORLD!” Justin said enthusiastically from an open window.

“Now THAT is a Christmas song, Justin!” Lance yelled from the family room.

The End

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