Camp Somewhere

By: Lara

“Okay, Lance, you enjoy yourself, ya hear me?” Diane Bass said, kissing her son’s cheek.

“Mom,” he said, annoyed. He looked around and saw everyone else’s mother doing the same thing.

“You make sure and enjoy yourself. This music camp is costing us a lot of money,” Lance’s father said. “How many other fourteen-year-olds get to go to one of the best music camps in the country?”

“I know, Dad. Thanks.” Lance shook his father’s hand, because he knew he expected it. “Well…I should get on the bus now. See you in August.” Lance smiled at them both, then almost ran for the second bus. The first one was already full.

“Hey. What’s your name?” A boy a few years younger than Lance sat down beside him. He had a mop of curly hair and bright blue eyes.

“Lance Bass.”

“I’m Justin.” The boy’s fingers nervously tapped at his knees. “You sing?” Lance nodded. “Me, too. And I can dance some.” Justin’s eyes wandered to the front of the bus, where two blond girls were giggling. “Hey, that girl’s cute, isn’t she? The one on the left?”

“I guess so,” Lance said. He didn’t really think any girl was cute, but his father blamed that on immaturity.

“The one on the right’s not bad, either. Maybe we could hook up with them or something.”

“Maybe,” Lance said, staring at Justin. “How old are you?”

“Twelve.” Lance stared at him some more. He was never that way at twelve.

“So…you coming back next year?” Joey Fatone asked Josh Chasez. Josh signaled and moved into the left lane.

“I might. I mean, I’m a senior counselor this year…I might as well be one next year, too,” Josh said. Joey waved at some girls in the car next to him. “I’ll get all the good leads in the shows…it pays off.”

“Right.” Joey grinned at his friend. “So…we gonna terrorize the first years again?”

“Duh,” Josh said, cutting off a pickup truck. “I’m planning on doing that as soon as we get there.”

“Sweet.” Joey leaned back in his seat, smiling out the window.

Lance lugged his two suitcases up the hill to his assigned cabin. This was all wrong. He didn’t belong in the woods. This was a music camp. He expected something a little more…civilized. He watched Justin laugh and joke with a few boys his own age. Justin had quickly forgotten him once he found more outgoing and interesting people to hang out with. Lance sighed. It was gonna be a long summer.

He unpacked his things carefully. He had the only single cot; everyone else was in bunk beds. His cot was shoved into a corner, and actually he didn’t mind it that much. “Hey…where are you from?” A lanky blond stood and stared at him.

“Mississippi,” Lance replied shyly.

“Hey…a Mississippi boy!” The blond yelled. The six other boys in their cabin came to stand by the boy. Justin was one of them.

“Lay off him, Nick,” Justin said. “I’m from Tennessee. If you’re gonna mess with him for being from the South…mess with me, too.”

Lance gave Justin a grateful smile. “I don’t like Mississippi,” Nick said decidedly. Some of the boys laughed. Lance blushed and ducked his head.

“And I bet it doesn’t like you, either,” another boy said. He nodded at Lance. “I’m AJ McLean. That asshole is Nick Carter.”

“Lance Bass,” he said softly.

“Whoa, listen to that voice!” AJ said with a friendly grin. “A bass already and you’re, what, fifteen?”

“Fourteen.”

“I’m fifteen. Dork here is only thirteen, so don’t let him mess with you.”

“AJ, do you ever shut up?” Nick snapped. “C’mon, guys. I saw the girls on the bus…pretty cute!”

“That one named Britney is VERY cute,” a boy said as they left the cabin. Lance sat on his cot. It would be a DAMN long summer.

Lance was still sitting on his cot when an older boy came strutting in. “Hey. Where is everyone?”

“They, uh, went to look at girls,” Lance stammered, blushing a furious red. The boy was adorable. He had short brown hair and bright blue eyes. He was tall and thin, with long legs.

“You didn’t go?” The boy asked. Lance shrugged.

“They didn’t ask me.”

“Ah.” The boy was obviously bored with the conversation. “I’m Josh Chasez. I’ll be your counselor.”

“Hi. I’m Lance.”

“Hi, Lance. I’ll see you around, okay?” Josh ducked out of the cabin before Lance could reply.

Lance closed his eyes so the tears wouldn’t fall…wondering if there was any way he could get sick enough to be sent home.

Two

“Okay…let’s get a few things straight,” Josh Chasez said, leaning against his bunk. It was the top bunk, like a loft, with a storage area below. “I like sleeping. A LOT. So if you little fuckers wake me up, I will not hesitate to beat you where it won’t show.” Lance saw Justin’s mouth fall open. “I recognize a few of you from last year…McLean, Carter…” Josh’s eyes wandered over the group. “Anyone else here to study singing?” Justin’s hand shot up. Lance shyly raised his own hand. “The teachers here are good. Try not to embarrass our cabin.” Josh glanced at his watch. “It’s dinner time. I won’t be sitting at your table…but I will have my eye on you. If you do anything to embarrass us…I will kick your ass. Understood?” Eight heads nodded as one. “Okay. See you at dinner.” Josh ambled out of the cabin.

“Man,” Justin muttered.

“He’s full of hot air,” AJ McLean said, but he didn’t look like he really believed it. It was Josh’s first year as senior counselor, and no one quite knew what to think.

“I’m starving. Let’s go eat.” Nick Carter led the way out of the cabin. Lance hung back, watching the boys talk and laugh as they went to dinner. He sighed as he plodded along behind them.

“Hi,” a girl said shyly, suddenly appearing at his side. Lance jumped.

“Hello.” Lance blushed as he spoke. He always blushed talking to new people and he hated it.

“What’s your name?” Lance asked.

“Meadow. What’s yours?”

“Lance.”

“How old are you?”

“Fourteen…you ask a lot of questions.”

Meadow giggled. “Well, some of the girls noticed you and…”

“Me?” Lance squeaked. “Are you sure?” She nodded as they entered the dining hall. “Wow.” Lance turned beet red.

“You’re cute,” Meadow told him. “Well, I’m fourteen too…I study dance. I saw your friends watching us earlier.”

“They’re not my friends,” Lance said softly, glancing at the table where everyone else was seated. There was one seat left for him, alone at the end. The other boys had huddled close at the opposite end of the table.

“I’d ask you to sit with us, but I bet they wouldn’t let you,” Meadow sighed, motioning to the table where the other girls were sitting. They were watching, and they burst into giggles when Meadow pointed to them. Lance noticed the girls from the bus.

“Are you sure this isn’t some joke?” Lance asked. “Girls don’t…look at me.”

“It’s your eyes,” Meadow told him. “And you didn’t drool all over us.”

“I guess I’m supposed to,” Lance said, and Meadow laughed again.

“I’ll see you later, Lance.” Meadow waved as she walked to her table. Lance sat down, and everyone stood to go up through the line.

“Wow, Bass…didn’t take you long, did it?” Nick asked. “Making the moves already.”

“I wasn’t!” Lance protested. AJ McLean smiled at him.

“It’s okay, Lance. He’s just jealous.”

“Whatever,” Nick muttered, but Lance realized it was true. He sighed and decided to wait a few minutes to go up in line.

“Aren’t you eating, Bass?” Josh Chasez asked, stopping by the table. “That’s your name, right?”

“Yes…I was just…”

“You look like a fool here all by yourself. Get up there,” Josh ordered. Lance scrambled to his feet and headed for the line.

“Man, JC, you’re just evil this year,” Joey said, laughing as he watched Lance turn red.

“That boy’s just…girly, or something,” Josh said with a sigh. “He says he sings. We’ll see. And stop calling me JC.”

“Okay…JC,” Joey said with a grin.

“Hey, Lance?” One of the boys called as Lance approached the table with his tray.

“What?” Lance asked, looking at the boy.

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said with a grin. Lance didn’t see Nick Carter’s foot reach out from under the table, and he tripped. His tray flew out onto the floor with a loud clatter. Everyone laughed and craned their necks to see what was going on. Lance, face red with shame, quickly tried to clean everything up.

“Better get a mop, Lance…you’d make a good janitor anyway,” Nick said with a grin. Lance bit back tears. The best music teachers in the world couldn’t make up for this.

“Bass, can’t you even walk right?” Josh hissed as he bent down and pretended to help Lance pick up his dinner. “Maybe you’d better just go back to the cabin.”

“Right,” Lance whispered. He managed to grab the orange from his tray before he ran out of the dining hall.

Three

Lance lay on his cot and ate his orange, angrily swiping at tears as he ate. He couldn’t BELIEVE that he had actually wanted to come to this place. That he had spent weeks talking his father into it. He should have known better. He wouldn’t fit in here any better than he did at home. He had thought that maybe at an arts camp he would find someone who understood. But that was all a dream.

“Bass!” Josh snapped, sticking his head into the tent. “We have a camp meeting now. You need to be there.”

“Okay.” Lance threw his orange peels away and quickly trotted out of the cabin. He followed Josh back to the dining hall. Josh took a seat up with his friends. Lance sat alone in the back. He listened to the camp manager drone on and on about what was expected of him, tuning in only to hear the man discuss the final show at the end of the summer.

“Lance!” Meadow came running up to him after the meeting. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Lance mumbled, not able to meet her eye.

“I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends. This is Chrissy, Britney, Mandy…” Meadow listed a few more names. Lance finally looked up and saw a group of girls looking at him in adoration.

“Hi,” he said shyly, and they giggled as one. A few were his age, but most of them were a year or two younger.

“Listen, Lance, I’m gonna ask my counselor if you can sit with us when we eat, okay? Those guys are jerks,” Meadow said. The other girls nodded.

“I don’t know,” Lance said, imagining the teasing he would get for sitting with a table full of girls. Then he glanced over at Nick and AJ and Justin. He couldn’t read their expressions at first, then realized they were jealous. He smiled. “I mean, I don’t know if Josh will let me.”

“I’ll work on it,” Meadow promised. “Sweet dreams, Lance.”

“Bye, Lance!” The other girls chorused as they walked away. Lance blushed, and for a moment he almost wished he was more interested in girls. They were very nice.

The next morning, Lance groggily woke up as Josh started yelling at them to get out of bed. Josh had a small alarm clock next to his bed, but it had rung for over twenty minutes before Josh actually woke up enough to hear it. Lance yawned and stretched. “You guys get ten minutes to shower,” Josh told them. “You know where the bathhouse is.”

Lance stared at him. They all had to shower together? “Um, Josh?”

“What, Bass?” Josh snapped.

“Nothing,” Lance whispered, picking up his towel, shorts and soap.

Lance took the quickest shower of his life. He didn’t want to be caught looking, and his eyes kept wandering. Maybe all the boys at home were right. Maybe he WAS gay. He pulled on his shorts and began to towel his hair dry. “Hey! Where’s my towel?” Nick Carter yelled, walking out of the shower buck-naked. Lance blushed and looked away as he packed up his toiletry bag. “McLean…”

“It wasn’t me, dude,” AJ said with a grin. “Lance? Did you steal Nick’s towel?”

“No,” Lance whispered, turning to leave.

“If you did, Bass, I will kick your ass!” Nick yelled. “And my sweatpants are gone, too!”

Lance slipped out of the bathhouse and started up the path to his cabin. He saw Josh walking ahead of him. Josh was soon joined by his friend, Joey Fatone, and they laughed as they saw each other. Lance was shocked to see Josh waving a pair of grey sweatpants and a white towel in the air. Joey punched his shoulder and held out a pair of boxer shorts. Lance held back, not wanting Josh to know he had seen everything.

“Lance!” Meadow jumped on Lance as soon as his cabin reached the dining hall. “You’re gonna sit with us, right?”

“Lance, aren’t you gonna introduce us to your friend?” Nick Carter asked, throwing a friendly arm around Lance’s shoulder. Lance shivered. Nick had finally convinced AJ to run back to the cabin and get him some clothes, but it was still something he would be teased about all summer.

“Maybe I don’t wanna meet you,” Meadow snapped. Nick frowned.

“Um, that’s AJ…and Justin…this is Meadow,” Lance mumbled. Meadow looked at the boys.

“Hi. C’mon, Lance. Britney’s been saving you a seat.” Meadow practically dragged Lance to her table.

“Britney? No fair!” Justin said as Lance walked away.

The girls chattered loudly, and Lance silently ate his oatmeal. He could feel the stares of the boys from his cabin, and he actually didn’t mind. It was kind of nice being the center of attention. “So, Lance, do you sing?” Chrissy asked. He nodded. “Me, too. So does Brit. And Mandy. Meadow dances. She acts, too.”

“Do you know what you’re singing for the final show?” Britney asked Lance. He shook his head.

“I brought some music along, but I’m not sure.”

“I bet you’ll be great,” Chrissy said, and Britney nodded in agreement. Lance blushed and said nothing.

Lance soon realized that his nightmare was only going to get worse. He found out after breakfast that the mornings would be spent doing physical activities such as swimming and hiking, as well as team-related games. It was like a morning full of gym class. Lance wasn’t very good at gym class.

“We have Frisbee Football first,” Josh told them as they walked to the field. “If you guys embarrass me…I will so kill you.”

“God, Josh, cut us a break,” Justin whined. “It’s only the second day.”

“But I have to live with you losers all summer.” Josh turned to Lance. “You gonna fall all over the place again, Bass?”

Lance remembered how Josh had stolen Nick’s clothing, and for some reason that made him brave. He raised an eyebrow. “I guess I should just be glad that you guys are stuck with me and that I didn’t have to wait to be chosen last,” he said. AJ chuckled and Justin even smiled.

“Whatever.” Josh rolled his eyes.

Lance found out two things that morning. He found out he couldn’t catch or throw a Frisbee to save his life. But he also found out that he could run. He could outrun anyone that was going after him. If his teammate was close enough to easily toss the Frisbee, Lance could catch it and run. And run he did. AJ McLean looked after him in amazement the first time he did it. “Whoa, Lance. Slow down, buddy!” But there was a big grin on AJ’s face, big enough to match the huge frown on Nick’s face.

“Not bad, Bass. Not bad,” Josh told him as they walked back to their cabin with their first victory. “You might not embarrass us TOO badly.”

“You guys run up to lunch,” Josh told them. “We have cabin inspection after lunch, before we go to our studies, and I wanna make sure you guys have this place looking good.”

“God, I was ordered around less at home,” Nick griped. Josh grabbed him by the ear.

“You’re what, Carter, thirteen? I’m seventeen, and I could quite easily kick your scrawny butt. You do what I say or go home to your mommy, understand?” Nick nodded. “Good. Go to lunch.”

The boys filed out of the cabin. Josh watched them go, sighing. He could think of nine hundred things he’s rather do with his summer, but his mother would hear none of it. She wanted him to be trained by the best, and this camp was the best. Josh picked up the bucket behind the door and headed for the pump behind the cabin, frowning as he walked. He filled the bucket, wishing things were easier. He was practically an adult. He was supposed to be able to make his own choices. Unfortunately, his mother didn’t see it that way. He carefully propped the bucket on top of the door, leaving the door slightly ajar. He whistled as he left the cabin, trying to think of a way to keep the campers out of the cabin until inspection.

Nick and one of the other boys hid behind a tree, watching Josh walk away. They had seen the entire thing. “Come on,” Nick whispered. They went in the back door of the cabin and carefully removed the bucket from the door. “We don’t have much time.”

“I’m assuming, Mr. Chasez, that you already have this cabin whipped into shape?” The camp headmaster said as he approached the cabin. “I know this is your first year as a senior counselor.”

“Yes, sir, but they’re good kids,” Josh said, giving them a fond look. Lance watched AJ pretend to gag himself.

Josh looked over at the doorway and smiled. At any minute, a bucket of water would dump down onto the headmaster, and the campers would be blamed. No one would ever think of him.

“Well, Mr. Chasez…” the headmaster opened the door and everyone saw the bucket fall. But it didn’t dump water on his head. It dumped a slurping brown mud. The headmaster gasped. The campers gasped. Josh gasped. Lance’s mouth fell open. “Mr…Chasez…”

“I don’t know who did this!” Josh said truthfully. “But I’ll find out.” He stepped around the headmaster into the cabin and looked around. Something caught his eye under Lance’s cot. A pair of Lance’s sneakers, with mud on the bottom. “BASS?” Josh yelled. Lance hurried in.

“Yes, Josh?”

“Can you explain this?” Josh waved the sneakers in the air.

“Those are mine…but I hadn’t even unpacked them yet!” Lance told him.

“There’s mud on those shoes. Mr. Chasez, take this boy to my office. When I’m cleaned up, I’ll meet you there.” The headmaster angrily squished out of the cabin.

“Josh, I didn’t…”

“I don’t give a fuck, Lance. Get your stupid ass up to the office. NOW.” Josh threw the sneakers down and shoved Lance out of the cabin.

Four

Lance sat in a chair in the headmaster’s office, knees shaking. He made himself stay calm, but he could already hear the call to his parents. He could already hear his father screaming about the waste of unrefundable money. His eyes darted over to Josh, who was seated in the other chair. “Josh?”

“DON’T talk to me, Bass,” Josh snapped. Lance sighed and fought tears yet again.

The headmaster, Mr. Kline, finally came into his office. He sat behind his desk and glared at Josh. “Mr. Chasez…you’ve been coming here for how many years?”

“Six, Sir,” Josh said politely.

“And this is what you’ve learned? You’ve learned to run a cabin like a zoo?”

“Sir, if I could just…”

“Mr. Chasez, you’re one of our star campers. You always have been. I cannot believe it has come to this.”

Lance looked at the hurt and shame in Josh’s eyes. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t Lance’s fault, but it definitely wasn’t Josh’s. Josh might pull some pranks, but nothing like what had happened in the cabin. “Mr. Kline?” Lance said softly.

“And you are?”

“Lance Bass, Sir,” Lance said.

“Learn to speak up, Mr. Bass, or you’ll never be a performer,” Mr. Kline said. “Your second day and you’re already in my office?”

“See, Mr. Kline, it wasn’t Josh’s fault!” Lance said quickly. “I mean, I saw him leave the cabin. He was long gone when someone decided to play this trick on you.”

“You mean when YOU decided to play this trick?” Mr. Kline snapped. He turned his eyes back onto Josh. “Mr. Chasez, I think that…”

“Yes, Sir!” Lance interrupted, watching Josh’s handsome face. “The trick that I played, Sir.”

Josh’s mouth fell open. “Lance…”

“Mr. Bass, this is your first year here. I’m going to try and believe that you were just trying to play a joke, try to fit in. So, I’m going to allow you to stay, if you behave yourself.”

“Yes, Sir.” Lance hung his head.

“You will stay after every meal and help clean up the dining hall,” Mr. Kline ordered.

“Sir, Lance is one of our best athletes. If he can’t participate in the morning activities…” Josh began.

“For this week, and we’ll see what you do,” Mr. Kline continued as if Josh had never spoken. “Then, if you behave yourself, we’ll release you from breakfast duty.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Lance said softly.

“Now, the two of you go to your lessons. I don’t want to see either of you in here again.”

“Yes, Sir,” Josh said. Lance nodded.

Lance followed Josh out of the office, studying his shoes. He gasped as Josh suddenly grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into the trees. “What, Josh?”

“What the fuck’s going on here?” Josh snapped. “Do you hate me so much after two days?”

“N-no, Josh…I don’t hate you at all!” Lance said.

Josh looked down into the wide green eyes. He cleared his throat and looked away. “Then why?”

“I just…I wanted the guys to notice me, you know. They don’t like me much…and I was trying to impress them,” Lance said, his deep voice cracking slightly.

Josh looked back into those green eyes and knew instantly that Lance was lying. He was covering up for someone, and Josh would bet his life that he didn’t even know who he was covering up for. But Josh knew that Lance had lied in that office for HIM. That shook Josh up. “Get into the cabin. Clean that mess up. I’ll tell the vocal coach that you’ll be late today.”

“Okay,” Lance whispered, trudging up the path. Josh walked him walk away.

“Hello, boys.” Josh leaned in the doorway of the cabin. AJ quickly shoved something under his bunk mattress.

“Hey, Josh,” Nick said cheerfully, munching on an apple. “How was your vocal lesson? Isn’t the teacher…”

“Shut up, Carter.” Josh sat on Justin’s bunk, swinging his long legs. “Where’s Lance?”

“He got permission to meet with the vocal coach before dinner,” Justin said. “I think he’s still there.”

“You mind telling me what happened in here today?” Josh asked.

“You saw what happened!” Nick began to laugh, as did a few other boys. “Lance got Kline good!”

“And that’s funny to you?” Josh asked. Nick swallowed deeply.

“Well, yeah.”

“You know what Lance told me? Lance told me that he did that to impress you guys. That you didn’t like him much, and he was trying to get your attention.” Josh looked from one boy to another. Justin studied the ceiling. AJ studied the floor. “You know what? I think Lance is lying. I don’t think he’d EVER try something like this. I don’t think he’d try that hard to impress people who obviously don’t like him. I’m not sure if he does know who did it, but I know one thing…it wasn’t him.” Josh jumped down from Justin’s bunk. “Don’t fuck around with me, boys. I’m gonna be watching each and every one of you.” Josh left the cabin.

Five

Lance had to get up early every morning to eat breakfast before everyone else. Then he worked in the kitchen, and cleaned up after the campers. Nick and the others had a field day with this. “Excuse me, Lance? You missed a spot there.” Nick carefully poured his milk onto the floor. “Get a mop.”

“You’re a prick sometimes, Carter,” AJ snapped. “Sorry, Lance.” He threw down a pile of paper napkins.

“It’s okay,” Lance said, sighing as he went to get the mop. He knew that AJ genuinely liked him, and they got along, but AJ wasn’t strong enough to go against the group. And Nick Carter was definitely the leader of that group.

“Carter,” Josh called. “C’mere.”

Nick walked over, proud to be noticed by one of the older boys. “Yes?”

“You know Joey Fatone here, right? He’s my best friend.”

“Yeah. I remember you. Hey,” Nick said.

“He’s thirsty. I think you should give him your orange juice.”

“But then I won’t have anything to drink!” Nick protested.

“Where’s your milk?”

Nick looked back to where Lance was mopping. “It, uh, spilled.”

“Well, you should try not to be so clumsy then.” Josh looked Nick in the eye. “Juice…now…or you’ll regret it.”

“Fine,” Nick said, stomping back to his table. He brought his cup of orange juice over. “Here, Joey.”

“Thanks, Nick,” Joey said, giving Josh a big grin. Nick went back to his own table, ignoring the chuckles of his friends. “Bass!” Joey called. Lance walked over, head down.

“Yeah?”

“You look thirsty. Take this.” Joey handed him the juice. Lance eyed it warily. “Really. I didn’t spit in it or anything.”

“Thank you,” Lance said softly, quickly drinking the juice.

“You ready for the race today?” Josh asked. Lance shrugged. There was a big race in the afternoon instead of lessons, and Lance was definitely the fastest boy in their cabin. “You win this, Bass, and I bet Mr. Kline lets you off breakfast duty, at least.”

“Maybe,” Lance said, blushing. Josh put a hand on his arm.

“Lance, I know you didn’t pull that mud thing. I know it was one of the other guys. I’m watching them, and I’ll find out who, okay? I’ll get him to tell the truth to Kline, and you’ll be off the hook.”

Lance’s green eyes widened and Josh was once again shocked by how beautiful they were. “Really, Josh? Thanks!”

“Get moving. We need you outta here and warming up ASAP,” Josh ordered. Lance nodded and hurried away, almost tripping over his mop in his haste.

Joey laughed. “He’s a real winner,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“He’s not that bad,” Josh said softly, watching Lance hurry away.

Lance toed the chalk line at the starting block. He was running against six other boys, one from each of the other cabins. “GO LANCE!” He heard Meadow scream, and he turned bright red. The boy on his left laughed.

“Your girlfriend?”

“Just a friend,” Lance mumbled.

“On your marks…get set…go!” The headmaster yelled and Lance took off. The race wasn’t long, but he easily pulled ahead.

“C’mon, Lance!” He heard someone yell. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Josh cheering for him. He ran faster, pumping his arms. Lance easily broke the tape, yards ahead of the next runner.

Lance bent over, panting for breath. “You did it!” Meadow squealed, running over to hug him.

“Lance!” Josh yelled happily, pushing his way to Lance. “You did it! You kicked their asses!” Josh picked Lance up in a hug and swung him around.

Lance tried not to notice how good it felt to have Josh’s arms around him. His body started to react in a VERY embarrassing way, so he quickly squirmed to make Josh put him down. “Um, thanks, Josh.” Lance ducked his head.

“You did great,” Josh said, running his hand over Lance’s sweaty hair.

“Lance!” AJ came running over. “You were awesome!”

“Thanks!”

“Lance, you were great out there!” Britney shoved her way through the boys. “I couldn’t believe how fast you went!”

“Yeah, well,” Lance stammered.

“Are you on the track team at home?” Chrissy asked, looping her arm through Lance’s. He blushed as the girls dragged him away.

“He doesn’t even try,” AJ said, sighing. “I need to learn his secret.”

By the fourth week of camp, Lance was only cleaning up after lunch. Mr. Kline had forgiven him, but still felt that he had to punish him somehow. The boys in Lance’s cabin weren’t really any nicer to him, but for the most part they left him alone. If he had to pick a friend, Lance would say AJ, but it wasn’t like he spent a lot of time with him or anything. Lance spent most of his time alone. He did his vocal lessons, which he loved, and he helped out around the small stable. Lance loved horses, and had his own pony back home. Nick Carter made a snide comment about Lance smelling like a horse, and Josh made him stay back and clean the entire cabin.

Lance had grown to like Josh a lot, though Josh made sure to try and keep up his gruff exterior. Lance knew the true Josh, though. He could tell that Josh did NOT want to be at the camp, no matter how much he liked being treated like a star. He heard Josh tell Justin once that his parents made him come to the camp, so he put up with it. If he went to camp, he got a car. If he went to camp, he had no curfew. Lance was horrified to hear the misery in Josh’s voice.

Josh wandered into the dining hall one afternoon during the sixth week of camp, looking for Lance. The vocal coach had told Josh that Lance still hadn’t chosen a song for the final show, and Josh wanted to see what was going on. Everyone else in the cabin had chosen something to do, a scene to perform or a song to sing, and Josh hoped that no one had made Lance feel bad about performing. He really liked Lance, though Lance was too shy and too quiet and too damn pretty for his own good. Josh had realized a few weeks before that he thought Lance was pretty. The thought bothered him, and he had angrily dunked Joey in the swimming pool for almost ten minutes, trying to bash the thought out of his own head. Lance was just a skinny dork of a fourteen-year-old boy, and Josh should NOT be thinking he was pretty.

“Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus, you’ve got to help me make a stand…you’ve just got to see me through another day…” Josh heard a low voice singing softly. Lance was singing as he swept the floor. “My body’s aching and my time is at hand…and I won’t make it any other way.” This was the first time Josh had really heard Lance sing, and he was mesmerized. “Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain…I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend…but I always thought that I’d see you again…”

“Lance,” Josh said softly, and Lance jumped.

“Oh, hi, Josh,” Lance said, blushing as usual.

“Your voice…you’re really good.”

“Nah,” Lance said, studying the straws of his broom.

“Is that what you’re going to sing in the program?” Josh asked, sitting on a chair.

“Um, I thought we had to pick something from a show or something,” Lance said.

“No, Lance. You can sing anything you want. I totally think you should sing that,” Josh told him. “I can accompany you on the piano. I have that music in one of my books.”

“You’d do that for me?” Lance asked.

“Of course,” Josh said, shrugging. “I don’t hate you or anything, Lance.”

“At first…at the beginning, you didn’t like me much.”

“I can be a jerk sometimes,” Josh admitted, and Lance smiled. “Pretty” jumped into Josh’s head, but he shoved it away. “Well…Mr. Sands was wondering why you hadn’t picked a song, and I was just checking up on you.”

“I have one now,” Lance said, and Josh smiled.

“Good. I’ll tell him…and you and I can get together to practice sometime, okay?” Lance nodded and Josh walked out of the dining hall. Lance sighed, leaning on his broom and staring off into space.

Six

Josh and Lance practiced every night after dinner, after Lance was done cleaning up the dining hall. Josh couldn’t believe what an incredible voice Lance had.

“Lance, why weren’t you coming here two years ago?” Josh asked. Twelve was the youngest the camp would admit.

“I tried,” Lance said shyly. “My music teacher told me about this place. She even got me the audition. But my dad…he…he doesn’t think music’s all that important.”

“I wish I had a dad like yours,” Josh sighed, letting his fingers wander over the piano keys. “My dad doesn’t think anything else is important BUT music. He thinks I have the voice to bring him millions, or something.”

“You do,” Lance said softly, and Josh actually blushed. “My dad just doesn’t get why I’m not the star quarterback or something, with girls falling all around me.”

“You have them all falling around you here,” Josh teased gently. Lance turned beet red, as Josh knew he would.

“Not because I want them to,” Lance said, then slammed his mouth shut, horrified at what he had admitted.

Josh didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I’m sorry…you know…about the way the others have been treating you.”

Lance shrugged. “I’m used to it. I get treated that way at home, too.”

“I’m sorry if I was harsh on you when you first got here…I dunno…I guess I was taking my roll as senior counselor too seriously.” Josh looked Lance in the eye. “And I never thanked you for what you did for me with Kline.”

Lance shrugged again. “No big deal.”

“It was. Thanks, Lance.”

Lance blushed, but he smiled.

On the night of the big show, two days before camp was over, there was a banquet. Lance didn’t have to work that night, and he was able to get ready with the others. He carefully pulled his grey suit out of the small closet. He pulled it out of its bag and gasped. “Oh…God…” he whimpered, looking at the smudges of dirt on the jacket and pants. He sniffed something and brought the fabric up to his nose. It wasn’t dirt. It was chocolate. Chocolate that had already stained the material of his one good suit.

“What’s wrong, Lance?” Nick asked. “Why aren’t you ready?”

“You KNOW why, you asshole!” Lance yelled, taking a swing at Nick. Nick fell to the ground, but instantly bounced back up, holding a hand over his nose. “You fucking bastard! You ruined my suit! It’s the only one I have!” The other boys stood back, staring. Justin darted out of the cabin.

“It’s not my fault you’re a poor country idiot,” Nick snapped. “I am SO gonna kick your ass, Bass. I’ve been waiting ALL year for this.”

“So have I,” Lance said, wiping away angry tears as he pushed up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He looked up at the taller boy with no fear in his green eyes. “So have I. Maybe now I can pay you back for the stunt you pulled.” Neither of them noticed Josh and Justin slip back into the cabin.

“It got you out of our hair, now, didn’t it?” Nick growled. He balled his hands into fists. “This will take me five minutes.”

“What’s going on here?” Josh demanded. He looked at the suit on Lance’s cot, and the blood on Nick’s face. “Carter?”

“He hit me, Josh, for no reason!” Nick whined. “Now I have to perform with my face looking like this!”

“He ruined my suit, Josh,” Lance said miserably “It’s the only one I have. My mom’s gonna kill me. Those stains will never come out. And I have nothing to perform in tonight.”

“We’ll take care of that in a second,” Josh snapped. He looked back at Nick. “Did I hear what I think I heard? YOU pulled that stunt with Kline?”

Nick’s face turned white. “I, well, um…”

“Yeah, he did,” AJ said, and everyone looked at him. “I’m sorry, Lance. I shoulda said something sooner. He bragged about it all the time.” AJ’s dark eyes were sad. “I’m really sorry.”

“McLean, you’re a dick!” Nick said.

“Everyone get ready for dinner. You’ve got an hour. Lance, take a shower, then just sit tight. I’ll be right back. Carter and I have an appointment with Mr. Kline.” Josh grabbed Nick by the arm and dragged him out of the cabin. Lance said down, looking at his suit in dismay.

“Is that really your only suit?” Justin asked softly. Lance nodded, running his hand over the fabric.

“I’d need a new one anyway. I’m practically grown out of this one,” Lance said, sighing.

“We didn’t know he was gonna do this, Lance, I swear,” AJ said. The others nodded. Lance gave them a small smile.

“It’s okay. You guys get ready. I’ll wait for Josh.” Lance sat back on his cot, staying out of everyone’s way.

Everyone was on their way up to the dining hall when Josh returned, carrying something. “Lance?” He called as he entered the cabin.

“Here,” Lance sighed, sitting up.

“Here you go.” Josh handed him the bag. Lance peeled it open to find a black suit.

“But where…”

Josh tore off his clothing and quickly began to dress. “Just put it on. One of the guys in Joey’s cabin is about your size. It SHOULD fit.”

“I don’t believe this!” Lance gasped. He quickly pulled on a white dress shirt, then put the suit on. “It fits perfectly!” He ran his hands over the fabric. “This is the nicest thing I’ve ever owned.”

“You look really good,” Josh said softly. Lance blushed and Josh grinned. “You always are blushing.”

“I can’t help it. I hate it,” Lance said. Josh tied his own tie, then quickly did Lance’s.

“Let’s go.” Josh grabbed Lance’s sheet music as well as his own.

Lance followed Josh out of the cabin. “What about Nick?”

“He’s at the headmaster’s office right now, cleaning windows. He won’t be at the banquet, and he won’t be at the show,” Josh said, quickly walking down the path. Lance hurried to keep up with him. “I THOUGHT it was him, but I could do nothing if he didn’t confess to it. What a little asshole.”

“Thanks, Josh, for believing it wasn’t me,” Lance said softly. Josh turned around and they looked at each other for a long moment.

“You’re welcome,” Josh said, smiling slightly.

When they reached the dining hall, there were two empty seats at their cabin’s table, for Nick and Lance. “I’ll see you later,” Lance said, turning towards his table.

“What do you mean? It’s the end of the year. I sit with my cabin,” Josh said, taking a seat at the end of the table. Lance smiled broadly and sat in the other empty seat, next to AJ.

“Wow. Nice suit,” AJ remarked.

“Josh got it for me,” Lance said shyly, beaming at Josh.

They were almost finished with dinner when Lance really began getting nervous. He stared at the sheet music like he had never seen it before. “I can’t do this,” he whispered.

“What?” Josh asked.

“I can’t. I’m not supposed to be up there performing. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, Lance. You can do it. You know that song inside and out…and I won’t let you embarrass us like this,” Josh said firmly. Lance stared at him, hurt in his green eyes.

“Lance? Could I talk to you for a second?” Meadow approached the table.

“Wow, Meadow, you look fantastic,” AJ said, looking at her pretty pink dress.

“Sure,” Lance said, giving Josh one more hurt look before following Meadow outside. “What’s up?”

“I just…” the normally confident Meadow actually looked nervous. “I just wanted to take the chance to tell you how great I think you are.”

“You haven’t even heard me sing yet,” Lance said, smiling.

“Not your singing. Just you. Everything about you. You’re cute and smart and so nice…I just…I really like you, Lance.”

“I like you, too, Meadow,” Lance said, but his heart slipped into his shoes.

“Really?” Meadow gasped. “Would you…would you like to kiss me?”

“Meadow, trust me when I say it has nothing to do with you personally, but, no, I don’t want to kiss you. I like you a lot…but more like my sister than anything else.”

“Oh,” Meadow said, her face falling. “Do…do you like one of the other girls better?”

“No! You’re definitely the one I like best,” Lance promised. “I don’t want to kiss any girl…I mean, any of the girls.” Lance blushed. A light went on in Meadow’s eyes.

“That explains so much! You’re too nice…you get along with girls…I should have seen it.” She smiled gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m flattered.”

“Is there someone else I should know about?” Meadow teased gently. Lance glanced through the window of the dining hall and caught sight of Josh, who was laughing at something Justin was saying.

“Not in reality,” he said with a sigh.

“Mr. Lance Bass, accompanied by Mr. Joshua Chasez,” the headmaster announced.

“You can do this,” Josh said firmly. “I know you can.”

“Yeah…wouldn’t want to embarrass you,” Lance snapped, going to the microphone. He looked over at Meadow, who had her fingers crossed. So did Britney, and Chrissy, and the other girls. He had to smile. Josh played his intro and he began to sing. “Just yesterday morning…they let me know you were gone…Susanne, the plans they made put an end to you…I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song…I just can’t remember who to sing it to…” Lance closed his eyes as he sang. “I’ve seen fire, and I’ve seen rain…I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end…I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend…but I always thought that I’d see you again…”

Seven

Lance avoided Josh the rest of the evening. Everyone swarmed around Lance, saying how pleased they were, how they had no clue he had such a nice voice. He blushed, of course, but drank in the praise. Every time Josh would approach him, he’d find an excuse to back away. Josh finally cornered him outside the cabin as they went back to go to bed.

“Lance, wait. Talk to me.”

“Was I good enough? Did I embarrass you?” Lance snapped.

“Lance!” Josh firmly grabbed Lance’s arm, dragging him down the path. “Shut up and listen, okay?”

“You hurt me, Josh. All this time, you’ve been so nice, and then you just up and turn fuckhead on me!”

“Lance, listen. You were freaking out. You had stage fright. I wanted to piss you off so you’d prove me wrong.” Josh let go of Lance’s arm. “I knew you’d never embarrass me OR the cabin. You’re too good.”

“You…you were trying to make me mad?” Lance whispered.

“God, Lance…I’m not an asshole ALL the time,” Josh sighed, and Lance laughed.

“Maybe not ALL the time.” Lance smiled at Josh. “I appreciate it, Josh. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Josh said. They looked at each other for a moment, each of them confused by the vibes passing between them. “I turned fuckhead on you?”

Lance grinned. “It was the best I could come up with.”

“It was stupid,” Josh said, but he grinned back.

Two days later the camp was filled with joyful parents and tearful campers. The summer was a hard one, full of work, but friendships were also made, and it was hard to break the bonds that summer had created.

“Look, Lance, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t stand up to Carter sooner,” AJ said, shaking Lance’s hand. “You coming back next summer?”

“I hope so. Thanks, AJ,” Lance said, smiling.

“You ever get down to Orlando, you look me up, okay?” AJ said, winking as he went over to say goodbye to his girlfriend of the summer.

“Lance…please please come back next year!” Meadow begged, squeezing the breath out of him. “You’re the only decent guy I know!”

Lance laughed and hugged her back. “I’ll try my best. I just have to talk my dad into it.”

“James?” Lance turned around to see his mother and father standing nearby.

“Hi, Mom! Dad!” Lance went over to hug them. He noticed his father giving Meadow an approving look. “This is my FRIEND, Meadow. She’s a dancer.”

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bass. Your son has an amazing voice,” Meadow said. “He just wowed everyone at the show the other night.”

“Really?” Jim Bass looked at his son in amazement.

“Yes, Sir. He sure did.” Lance heard Josh before he saw him. “Your son…well, for his age…he’s one of the most talented boys I’ve ever met.” Josh smiled his special smile at Diane. “I’m Joshua Chasez…I was fortunate enough to be senior counselor to Lance’s cabin this year.” He shook Lance’s parents’ hands. “I’m glad to meet you.”

“Bye, Lance.” Meadow gave Lance another hug and a peck on the cheek, then she melted into the crowd.

“Bye.” Lance turned back to his parents. “You should hear JOSH sing. He’s better than anyone at this camp.”

“Well, I’m just glad you found someone to keep an eye on you, James,” Diane said.

“Bass.” Lance turned around to see Nick Carter approaching them. Josh protectively stepped in front of Lance. Lance didn’t notice. His mother did. “Here.” Nick shoved an envelope at Lance. “For the suit. My mom made me give it to you.”

“Well, I…”

“Thanks, Carter. Keep your ass out of trouble and maybe they’ll let you back in next year,” Josh said angrily.

“Whatever.” Nick turned and stalked through the crowd.

“What was that all about?” Jim asked.

“Oh, there was an incident in the cabin a few days ago, and Lance’s suit got ruined. I’m sure that’s money to replace it,” Josh said quickly. “How about you have your mom put that in her purse for safe keeping?” He said to Lance.

“Oh, yeah.” Lance handed the envelope to his mother. “Um, my bags are right there, Dad. I’ll meet you guys at the car, okay?”

“Okay.” Diane held her hand out to Josh again. “It was very nice to meet you, Joshua. Thank you for watching out for our son.”

“Mom,” Lance said, blushing.

“My pleasure, Mrs. Bass. And I sure hope you’ll be sending Lance back next year. It’s my last year here, and I’d love to have him around.”

“We’ll see. Hurry up, James.” Jim picked up Lance’s bags and went to the car, with his wife on his heels.

“God, I’m sorry. They can be so…” Lance began. Josh laughed.

“Hey, they’re parents. I’ve learned how to handle them. You should try dealing with mine.” Josh rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Lance, I hope you come back next year.”

“Me, too,” Lance said shyly. He looked up at Josh, biting his lip. “Thanks, Josh. For giving me a chance.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long.” Josh studied Lance for a long moment. “Lance…”

“I’ll see you,” Lance said, blinking back tears. He held out his hand and Josh took it, then pulled him into a hug.

“Take care, Lance.” Josh held onto the memory of the hug, filing it in his mind, then he pulled away. “See ya.”

“See ya.” Lance turned away, angrily wiping at tears. He didn’t look back.

Eight

One Year Later

“So…Josh…how does it feel to be out of high school?” Joey asked, rolling down his window so he could lean his arm out.

“Good. Weird. Normal but not normal,” Josh answered, letting the wind blow through his hair. “God, I love summer.”

“You’re a college man now,” Joey realized, smiling at Josh. “Go you!”

“Yeah,” Josh said, blushing slightly.

“I hate having one more year,” Joey sulked, then he smiled again. “But now YOU can introduce me to college women!”

“Joey, we live like a million hours apart,” Josh said.

“Four,” Joey said. “We’re best friends over the summer. We have been for years now. Why the HELL shouldn’t we get together during the year?”

“True,” Josh admitted.

“So…you still gonna date whatshername…Bobbie?” Joey asked.

“Uh, no. We broke up,” Josh said.

“Aw, really? Sorry, man,” Joey said, giving Josh a grin. “More fish in the sea.”

“Yeah. About that.” Josh pulled over to the side of the road.

“You okay?” Joey asked, concerned.

“Yes. I’m fine. I just need to tell you something,” Josh said, taking a deep breath. “I kinda came to this realization over the past year. I’m, uh, well, Joe, I’m gay.”

Joey opened his mouth and closed it. Josh blushed and looked out at the long stretch of highway ahead of them. “Well,” Joey said finally. “I’m glad you pulled over to tell me this.”

“Why?”

“So now you can molest me,” Joey said, grinning. Josh punched him in the arm. “Seriously, though, that’s great for you, man, if it’s what you want. How’d your mom and dad take it?”

“I think my mom suspected it. My dad, well, we won’t go there,” Josh said, rubbing his forehead. “You’re not weirded out?”

“I don’t think you’re gonna jump me or anything, or that you hide in the showers watching guys get naked,” Joey said. “I don’t know how you could want a guy instead of a girl, but it’s all good. You’re my friend. I don’t care if you decided to turn Buddhist on me.”

“Thanks, Joey,” Josh said, relieved. He pulled back out onto the highway.

Josh whipped his car into the special parking lot at the camp. He and Joey got their things out of the back and went to sign in. “Ah, Mr. Fatone, Mr. Chasez…great to see you again,” Mr. Kline said. “Mr. Fatone…think you can handle your own cabin this year?”

“I’m sure gonna try,” Joey said. “I know Josh will help me.”

“I’m sure he will,” Mr. Kline said with a smile. “Mr. Chasez, your cabin is actually already full. All the boys have arrived, and last I saw, they were congregating out in front. You might want to check in on them.”

“Yes, sir,” Josh said. He picked up his bag. “See ya later, Joe.”

“You, too, Josh. Have a good one.” Joey headed for his cabin.

Josh shouldered his bag and headed for the cabin. From what he could see, he would have a mixture of first years and more experienced campers. He had promised himself that this last year of camp would be different for him. No playing pranks or jokes. He would concentrate on the music and make some decisions about his life.

His eyes floated to a tall blond, who was talking to two of the first year campers. The blond was slightly muscular, but that was all Josh could see, since the boy had his back to him. “Okay, guys, gather round. I’m Joshua Chasez…I’ll be in charge here this summer.” The boys grew quiet. The blond didn’t turn around. “Most of you seem to be new, but I’ll just say that I like to sleep and please don’t wake me up. And don’t do anything stupid, like pick fights with each other. I had some of that last year, and I’m through with it. Enjoy your summer, boys.”

The boys filed into the cabin, except for the blond, who slowly turned around. Green eyes smiled at him. “Hello, Josh.”

“Lance?” Josh squeaked. The shy fourteen year old was gone. A year had done amazing things for Lance Bass, and Josh felt his knees quiver.

“Yeah. Am I so different?”

“Yeah, well, no. Fuck, but it’s good to see you!” Josh gave Lance a hug. “Man, you’ve beefed up!”

“I ran track…indoor and outdoor,” Lance said, blushing like he always did. “And I actually performed in some of the plays at school. All thanks to you.”

“Hardly,” Josh said. “God, Lance, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“I asked to be in your cabin,” Lance said softly. “I hope that’s all right.”

“That’s more than all right,” Josh said, trying hard not to stare. Lance at fifteen was more than pretty. Lance was sexier than any fifteen year old had the right to be, at least in Josh’s eyes.

Nine

“So, Lance…tell me what you’ve been up to!” Josh surprised Lance by sitting down at the camper’s table instead of the counselor’s table. Lance put down his hot dog.

“Well…like I said…I did some theater stuff at school…and I ran track. I did pretty well, too,” Lance said, blushing. “And I never woulda had the nerve to do it if it wasn’t for you, Josh. I mean it.”

“Me?”

“Yeah…I mean, you had faith in me, and you didn’t treat me like I was a clueless dork…even though I WAS a clueless dork,” Lance said, laughing. Josh smiled, amazed at the change in Lance.

“Wow, Lance, you’ve really…well…grown up,” Josh said finally, stammering over the words.

“Yeah…in some ways…” Lance said. “What did you do this year?”

“Well…I starred in OUR musical…I was Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady.”

“Ooh, I LOVE that show!” Lance said enthusiastically.

“And I broke up with my girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Lance looked concerned. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Josh shrugged it off. “So…did you have a girlfriend or anything?”

“No,” Lance said. “A girl isn’t…um…what I’m looking for, really, right now.”

“I see.” Josh nodded. He looked down at his plate, but not before he saw the spark of nervousness in Lance’s eye. He knew the feeling.

Josh lay in his bunk that night, trying to fall asleep. He couldn’t do it, however. His eyes and mind kept wandering to the bunk right under the window, where Lance was sleeping. The cabin was small, and Josh could have reached out and touched Lance if he wanted to. And he wanted to. “Fuck,” he mumbled, rolling over and tugging his pillow over his head.

Lance saw Josh tossing and turning. He hoped he was okay. Lance couldn’t sleep, either. He kept thinking about Josh, and how happy he had been to see Lance. Lance had been counting the days until camp. He had pleased his father so much during the school year that he could do no wrong. He knew his father would let him come to camp. And Lance had made sure to put on his application that he wanted to be in Joshua Chasez’s cabin. During the entire school year, he couldn’t get Josh out of his mind. He knew by now that he didn’t like girls, didn’t want a girlfriend. He wanted boys…particularly Josh. Lance sighed and pulled his own pillow over his head, falling asleep to the mental picture of bright blue eyes smiling at him.

Josh sat with the counselors at breakfast the next morning, so Lance took the opportunity to get to know his fellow campers. Most of them were new, with a few familiar faces from the year before. This year, however, everyone was a LOT nicer to him.

“Lance Bass.” AJ McLean wandered over. “How are you?”

“Good, AJ. You?”

“Not bad. How was your year?”

“Good…busy. I ran track and did some theater.”

“Really? That’s great, man. I thought you looked like you had been working out.” AJ grinned. “Did you see that Nick Carter didn’t come back?”

“Yeah…I’m not real sorry to see that,” Lance said, and AJ laughed.

“Well, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” AJ waved and went back to his table.

“So…how’s your cabin look?” Joey asked Josh. “I see some familiar faces.”

“Yeah…Lance Bass is back, which is cool. He’s a good kid.” Josh shoveled eggs into his mouth.

“Yeah, he is. My cabin’s full of losers. This is gonna be a long summer,” Joey groaned, and Josh laughed.

“You never know. There could be a diamond in the rough hidden in those bunks somewhere,” Josh said, watching Lance talk to one of the first-year campers.

Josh was not surprised to find that Frisbee Football was one of the first physical activities. Nothing changed, it seemed. He smiled as he tossed Lance the Frisbee. “I haven’t played this all year!” Lance said with a laugh.

“Guys, we are guaranteed to kick ass in this event,” Josh said. “Lance here runs like the wind.”

“I do not,” Lance said, blushing.

“He helped us win anything involving speed last year…so I have full confidence in everyone. We’re gonna win!” Josh yelled.

“WE’RE GONNA WIN!” The campers echoed.

“Mr. Chasez, nice to see the team spirit,” Mr. Kline said, walking by.

Of course, they DID win. Lance outran everyone, and Josh could really see the way Lance’s body had matured. His legs were slender but muscular, and he was able to run all over the place without getting winded. Josh benched himself and sent a first year boy in, so he could watch Lance. It just wasn’t fair.

Lance was fifteen, still technically a child. He, Josh, was an adult, legally, and he was sure there were laws somewhere about that. Hell, the fact that Lance was a guy wasn’t a really good thing in most people’s eyes. But, then again, he had no clue about Lance’s feelings for him.

“You okay?” Lance asked Josh as they walked back to shower. “You don’t look real happy about our win.”

“I am. You guys all did great,” Josh said, raising his voice. “I have a lot on my mind, I guess. Leftover from school,” he lied.

“Well, if you need to talk or whatever…” Lance trailed off, smiling at Josh. He clapped Josh on the back and ran off to shower. Josh sighed and watched him run away.

Ten

Josh spent the next few days trying NOT to play favorites. He tried to get to know all his campers, but it was hard. All he wanted to do was hang around with Lance. And that wasn’t right. Instead, he tried to pull away, and he could tell by the hurt look in Lance’s eyes that he felt it.

“Mr. Bass.” Mr. Kline walked over to the cabin’s table. Josh watched from across the room, concerned.

“Yes, sir?” Lance asked.

“How are things going this year?”

“Very well, sir. How about you?”

“Oh, uh, fine,” Mr. Kline said, surprised. “I just hope we don’t have a repeat of last year. Everyone getting along here?”

“Absolutely, sir,” Lance said, smiling at the other campers. “We’re a great team. We all get along. No bad apples this year.”

“Good to hear,” Mr. Kline said, moving on.

“What happened last year?” One of the boys asked Lance.

“I didn’t get along with one of the guys in the cabin. He’s not here this year,” Lance said simply.

“Nick treated Lance like shit. Josh did, too,” one of the boys from last year said. Lance frowned but said nothing.

“Josh? Josh is great!” The first-year camper said.

“Now…but he wasn’t all that great last year,” the boy said, then went back to his lunch.

“What did Kline want?” Josh pounced on Lance as soon as lunch was over.

“Just to make sure there was nothing like last year going on,” Lance said simply. “I gotta go talk to my voice teacher. I’ll see you later.” Lance moved around Josh and went towards the music building. Josh sighed, watching him walk away.

“Lance!” A girl screamed, running down the path. She tackled Lance, giving him a hug. Josh frowned. She looked familiar. “Oh, Lance, I was SO hoping you’d be here. I was sick, so I just got here.”

“Hi, Meadow.” Lance smiled and hugged her again. “You look beautiful.”

“ME? Look at you! You’re one sexy boy!” Meadow linked her arm through Lance’s and they walked away. Josh sighed and went back to the cabin.

“You want me to what?” Lance gasped. He looked at this year’s vocal coach, Mr. Miller, as if he had grown another head.

“Do a duet. And I have the perfect person in mind. Joshua Chasez, one of our senior counselors.”

“I know who Josh is, Mr. Miller. He’s the counselor for my cabin. But a duet?” Suddenly Lance was the shy fourteen year old from last year. “I can’t sing with him. It’s his last year. He should do a solo.”

“I suggested a duet and he immediately thought of you. He’s interested.”

“I can’t,” Lance said, remembering the way Josh had been pulling away from him. He couldn’t practice with Josh, knowing that Josh despised him for some weird reason. “I just…I can’t.”

“Very well, Lance. If it’s what you want…but I think you should talk to Josh about this.”

“Okay,” Lance said, just to get Mr. Miller to change the subject. He wasn’t planning on saying anything to Josh.

Josh, on the other hand, most definitely wanted to talk to Lance. A week went by, and he was finding it harder and harder to fight his feelings for Lance. He finally gave in to them one night as he lay in his bunk. He had just awakened from a pretty R-rated dream, and he hoped that he hadn’t made too many noises. He weighed the pros and cons. Lance was a nice boy. Josh would be corrupting him if he came onto him. Lance was fifteen. Josh was eighteen. They lived like sixteen states away from each other. It could never work out. Lance was gorgeous, and Josh knew that Lance liked him. At least he THOUGHT Lance liked him. He had asked to be in his cabin, hadn’t he? Josh stood up and tiptoed to Lance’s bunk.

“Lance.”

“What?” Lance awakened instantly. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” Josh whispered. “Tomorrow, before breakfast…can we talk?”

“Uh, sure.” Lance rubbed his eyes, wondering what was going on. “You’re sure everything’s okay?”

“Yeah. I just have some explaining to do,” Josh said, crawling back to bed. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Eleven

“You coming, Lance?” John, one of the first year campers, looked back at Lance.

“Yeah…I’ll be along. Save me a seat,” Lance said, smiling. The smile disappeared as soon as he was alone in the cabin. He had no clue why Josh wanted to talk to him. Probably something about the stupid duet. Well, Lance didn’t care if Josh got on his hands and knees and BEGGED. He wasn’t going to give in.

“Lance.” Josh poked his head in the cabin. “Hey. Morning.”

“Good morning,” Lance said primly, sitting down on an empty bunk.

“Thanks for staying back.” Josh ran a hand through his hair. “I need to explain something.”

“I don’t care what you explain, Josh. I’m not interested.” Lance’s green eyes seemed to stare a hole through Josh.

“You…you’re not?” Josh was heartbroken.

“No, I’m not. I mean…you and me? We totally wouldn’t mesh. We’re at totally opposite ends of the spectrum.”

“Oh…right.”

“And you’re a senior. I’m just a second year camper. The whole idea is insane.”

Josh wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He was grateful that he hadn’t said anything. “Absolutely. I can’t believe I even considered it.”

“Right.” Lance stood. “And you can tell Mr. Miller that.”

Josh stared at Lance. “Mr. Miller? What does HE have to do with anything?”

“He’s the one that told you to talk to me, right? About the duet?” Lance bit his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Josh, but you’re a tenor. I’m a bass. I can NOT see us singing anything and having it sound right.”

Josh laughed in relief, flopping down onto his bunk. “Oh, Lance. THAT’S what you thought I wanted to talk to you about?”

“Yeah…isn’t it?”

“No…fuck, no.” Josh bounced back up again. “Listen, okay? Just listen for a minute.”

“Okay.” Lance sat down on Josh’s bunk and crossed his legs.

Josh began to pace. “I know I’ve been a real dick the last few days, and I apologize. I just realized that I’ve kinda been favoring you over my other campers. And that’s not right.”

“I see,” Lance said slowly. “But we know each other from last year.”

“I know some of the other guys from last year, too, and I don’t spend half as much time with them as I do with you.”

“So you think I’m hanging on you too much?” Lance asked, blushing.

“NO!” Josh frowned. “This isn’t going right.” He sat down next to Lance. “If I get way out of line, stop me, okay?” Lance nodded curiously. “Lance, remember how I told you I broke up with my girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“It’s because I’m gay.”

Lance opened his mouth, then shut it. He opened it again, and an odd squeak came out. He shut it once more, then tried again. “Gay?”

“Yeah. I figured it out this year. I’m not interested in girls. I’m interested in guys. Particularly one guy.”

“Really?” Lance asked weakly.

“Yeah. A guy with gorgeous green eyes and sunny blond hair and a beautiful smile and a deep sexy Southern voice,” Josh said softly.

“Oh, fuck,” Lance whispered, and Josh had to smile. Lance rarely swore.

“So…yeah. That’s why I’ve been acting weird around you. I really like you, Lance. I know there’s a big difference in our ages, and we live far apart, but I was so damn glad to see you this year.”

“I was glad to see you, too, Josh,” Lance said softly. “I thought about you all last year. The whole reason I started track and started performing was to get myself to a place where I could impress you.”

“You impressed me last year, Lance. You didn’t have to change for me,” Josh exclaimed.

“I did. I thought I did, anyway. You…you really like me?” Lance asked timidly.

“You don’t even know how much,” Josh replied, thinking back to his dream. Lance’s face broke out in a sunny grin.

“I don’t believe it.” He blushed and looked down at his hands.

“Lance…I want to kiss you.” Josh pulled down the shades and closed the door to their cabin. “Can I?”

Lance stood in front of him. “Please.”

Josh put his hands on Lance’s arms and gently kissed him. He felt Lance sigh, and he kissed him again. “Wow,” Josh whispered.

“That was my first kiss,” Lance admitted, and Josh stared at him. “I never liked girls…I guess I was waiting for you.”

“Was it worth it?” Josh asked. Lance smiled and turned his face up to Josh’s.

“Definitely.”

Twelve

“I almost wish I hadn’t found you,” Josh murmured, stroking Lance’s face.

“Why?”

“Because now I have to try to get through the entire summer without letting anyone know how I feel about you,” Josh said. He stood and straightened his shirt. “We should get in to breakfast.”

“Right.” Lance stood as well. “So, I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Lance.” Josh put a hand on Lance’s arm. “This doesn’t mean I DON’T want to be with you. It’s just gonna be hard. There’s a lot fighting against us.”

“Like what?” Lance’s eyes were large and innocent.

“Like our ages, first of all. I’m going off to college. Do you know how weird this is? You’re not even sixteen yet! And we live so far apart…it’s just kinda crazy, not to mention the fact that we’re both guys.”

“Look, Josh.” Lance thought for a moment. “I am totally happy just being with you for the summer, okay? I know these kinda things usually don’t last past the end of the summer, even for boyfriend girlfriend kinda things. I am aware of that. I just…don’t shut me out yet, okay? Make your decision at the end of the summer. And if you decide that you want us to part…then I’ll have had the best summer of my life so far.”

Josh stared at Lance, wondering how someone so young could be so mature. “I could never shut you out,” Josh promised. He gave Lance one more soft kiss, then they left the cabin.

Josh did his best to do what he thought was right. He kept his distance from Lance, but not too much distance. He treated Lance exactly like all his other campers, yelling when he needed to, complimenting when it was deserved. Lance became almost a junior counselor in their cabin, a position that didn’t really exist. Some of the younger campers really seemed to look up to him, and Josh knew it was because Lance was one of the nicest people he had ever met. Whenever they had some free time alone, they managed to spend it together. They were very careful, however, and it was only one person who actually saw through the façade.

“Josh.” Joey jogged up to Josh after lunch one day.

“Hey, Joey. I’m on my way to my vocal lesson. How are ya?” Josh clapped Joey on the back but he didn’t stop walking. He was running late and he knew Lance was waiting for him.

“Good. I hear you and Bass are doing a duet for the show?” Joey asked.

“Yeah. Something from that musical “Jekyll and Hyde,” I think,” Josh replied. “Mr. Miller chose it, and it fits both our voices.”

“You guys are a duet outside the vocal lessons, aren’t you?” Joey asked in a low voice. Josh stopped walking.

“What?”

“I see you, Josh. I see how you watch him.” Joey smiled at the alarm in Josh’s eyes. “No, don’t worry. It’s not like that. I only know because I know you’re gay. But, Lance Bass, Josh? He’s what, fifteen or so?”

“I know, Joey.” Josh ran a hand through his hair. “It’s insane. But I just…God…I love spending time with him. He’s really smart, VERY mature for his age…and he’s funny. And there’s just something about him that…I don’t know.”

“Maybe I’m not old enough to hear it,” Joey said with a grin. “I was just asking. I want you happy, Josh.”

“Lance makes me happy.” The smile on Josh’s face was all the proof that Joey needed.

“I’ve seen fire, and I’ve seen rain,” Lance sang softly as he headed back to the cabin from the shower.

“I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end,” a voice sang as an arm dragged him back into the bushes. Lance giggled.

“Josh! What are you doing, lurking in the bushes? You’ll get poison sumac or something!”

“I’m fine. I checked first. C’mere.” Josh took Lance by the hand and led him up the mountain a bit.

“Where are we going?” Lance almost dropped his small shower bag. “Josh?”

“Shh.” Josh pulled Lance a few more yards. “Here. Turn around.”

“What?” Lance looked around. “I don’t see anything.”

“This.” Josh put his arms around Lance and gave him a passionate kiss.

“Oh…that…” Lance sighed, letting his tongue flicker into Josh’s mouth.

“Lance…you’re amazing,” Josh murmured, letting his hands slide down to Lance’s backside. Lance smelled sweet and clean, fresh from the shower, and Josh wanted him.

“God…Josh…” Lance stammered, feeling himself harden. “I don’t…I never felt this way before.”

“Me either,” Josh moaned quietly, licking at Lance’s neck. “I wish we could get away from here…be totally alone.”

“Me, too.” Lance finally pulled away from Josh’s intense kisses. “But they’ll look for us soon.”

“Right,” Josh said sadly. Lance gave him a sad smile and started back down the path. Josh waited a few minutes, then followed

Thirteen

“So…Lance…” Meadow said, smiling at him as she lay down on her back.

“So…Meadow…” Lance lay down in a similar fashion. It was the beginning of the last month of camp. Josh and Joey were at a counselor’s meeting, and the campers were spending their free afternoon on the large lake. Meadow and Lance had swum way out to the wooden dock in the middle of the lake. Lance pressed against his side and bit his bottom lip. He had swum too far too fast, and he had a slight cramp.

“What’s up between you and Joshua Chasez?” Meadow teased lightly. Lance froze.

“Um, what?”

“You know what. I’ve watched you, and you’re always watching him.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Lance closed his eyes and lay back.

“You do so have a clue. Lance, why are you lying to me. You’re one of my best friends here.”

Lance sighed. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Fine.” Meadow closed her eyes as well. “So…what’s your dream? The most tangible dream.”

“I don’t know.”

“Mine is becoming a member of a famous ballet company…everyone will come to see me,” she said dreamily. “You’ll have to come, too, Lance. I’ll save you seats in the very front, so you can through flowers at me.”

Lance laughed. “You have it all planned out, don’t you?"

“Yep.” Meadow smiled. Lance sighed and decided to be honest.

“My dream isn’t as spectacular as all that. I just…I want Josh. I want him after camp is over. I want him in my life and I know it’s not gonna happen. Summer camp romances are all well and good…but once we’re home he’ll be at college. College freshman don’t date people that are still in high school.”

“Wow,” Meadow said softly. “You really care about him.”

“More than anything in my life right now. He’s…he’s amazing, Med. He’s everything I could ever want…and there’s only four weeks left.”

“How does he feel?” Meadow asked. Lance sat up and played with a piece of rope that hung off the edge of the dock.

“I think he cares about me the same way. I mean, we don’t get a lot of time together, but I think so. I told him I just want the summer, that it’s his decision once it’s over. I think he’s a little unsure. There’s a lot going against us.”

“Oh, Lance.” Meadow sat up and hugged him. “It will work out. It has to.”

“Okay, so that was the most BORING meeting ever,” Joey commented as he and Josh walked down to the edge of the water. “How will I ever do this without you next year?”

“You’ll find a way,” Josh said with a smile. His eyes scanned the beach for Lance. He didn’t see the handsome blond head, so he started looking in the water.

“There’s your boy.” Joey pointed to the dock. “And it looks like he’s getting some from a girl!” Joey teased as Meadow hugged Lance.

“Shut up,” Josh snapped. He sighed as he watched Lance. He was so torn. He wanted Lance in his life all the time, but he just didn’t know if he could deal with all the pressure.

“I think I’m gonna go back,” Meadow said. “Coming?”

“Yeah.” Lance looked at the beach. “I think I see Joey and Josh.”

“Race ya!” Meadow dove into the water and started swimming back to the beach. Lance groaned and dove in after her.

He moved swiftly for the first few yards, then the cramp came back with a vengeance. He pressed a hand to his side and treaded water. “Meadow!” He croaked, but she was too far ahead to hear him. He took in a mouthful of water and choked. He tried to doggie-paddle, but the pain was too intense.

“Here they come,” Joey observed, watching Meadow and Lance dive into the water. He watched Meadow. “I think.”

“Yeah, I saw Lance go in…” Josh said. His eyes widened as he suddenly lost sight of Lance’s head in the gentle waves. “Oh, NO!” Josh went tearing into the water, flying past a surprised Meadow.

“What’s going on?” She gasped.

“It’s Lance,” Joey said, standing by her side. They watched Josh swim out to where he had last seen Lance.

“Lance!” Josh shouted, reaching out and grabbing Lance by the hair. He pulled him to the top of the water. “Oh, God, baby, hold on!” He swam as quickly as he could, pulling Lance along behind him. Suddenly Joey was there, helping him to carry Lance out.

“He was fine when I left him!” Meadow promised, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Here. Lay him down,” Josh said, and he and Joey carefully settled Lance’s body onto the sand.

“He’s not breathing,” Joey said in a low tone. “Someone get Kline!” He yelled.

“You’re not fucking dying, Lance,” Josh snapped, and he pinched Lance’s nose shut. He gave a few short breaths into Lance’s mouth, then paused. He repeated this a second time. “Lance, you’re NOT fucking dying on me!” Josh muttered, then breathed into Lance’s mouth once more. Lance’s chest heaved and he began to cough. Josh turned him on his side as he coughed out the lake water.

“Oh, Lance, I’m so sorry!” Meadow exclaimed.

“It’s okay,” Lance said weakly. “I shouldn’t have tried to race you. I had a cramp…” Lance looked up at Josh, who still cradled him in his arms. “Hi, there.”

“Oh, fuck.” Josh hugged Lance against his chest. To almost everyone, it looked like one concerned friend holding another. But Meadow and Joey knew the truth. Right then and there, Josh had made his decision.

Fourteen

“Okay. I think you guys have it.” Mr. Miller looked pleased. “This is gonna bring the house down, you two.”

“Thank you,” Lance said shyly, unable to look at Josh. He loved the way their voices blended together, and he wished it could be that way all the time. But Josh still hadn’t given him an answer, and it was the final week of camp.

“Mr. Miller, would you mind if we hung here to run through this a few more times?” Josh asked.

“Sure, Josh. Just close the door when you leave.” Mr. Miller smiled and walked out of the room. Lance moved to stand by the piano.

“Which part do you want to work on?” Lance asked, toying with the sheet music. Josh put a hand on his arm.

“I don’t want to work on the song. I think you know that.”

“Oh.” Lance sat down on a chair, his knees shaking.

“You really REALLY scared me in the lake that day, Lance,” Josh said.

“I’m sorry. I just…the cramp came out of nowhere.”

“I could have lost you forever.” Josh moved to sit on a chair next to Lance. “I was so scared.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered. Josh reached over and took his hand.

“Lance, this is so hard.”

“God…” Lance closed his eyes. “Josh, please…”

“Just listen.” Josh squeezed Lance’s hand and he opened his eyes again. “There is so much against us. First of all…our ages. I’m eighteen. You’re fifteen. You have so much to experience in high school…and I don’t want you hanging onto me and missing everything.”

“But…”

“Shh.” Josh put a finger over Lance’s lips. “Then there’s the fact that I live in Maryland, and you’re in Mississippi. And it’s not like we can just up and fly back and forth, and you can’t drive yet.”

“Next spring I’ll have my license,” Lance said, hating the whine in his voice. He bit his lip and was silent.

“And then there’s the whole gay thing. I mean, I’m gay, and I know it. But I also know how people act around gay people. Some people are pretty hateful. I’m sure you’ve experienced the whole “you must be gay because you’re into the arts” attitude. This will only get harder.”

“Right,” Lance said sadly. He cursed the tears that welled up in his eyes. His nightmare was coming true. Josh was leaving him.

“But…” Josh said softly, and Lance looked at him. Josh looked at the tears in the green eyes and sighed. He pressed his thumb under Lance’s eye, and a tear splashed down. “But…there’s the fact that you’re the most mature fifteen year old I know. There’s the fact that I feel like I can tell you anything. You’re my best friend, Lance, and in some ways I hardly even know you that well. It’s weird, but it’s true.” Lance nodded and another tear splashed down. Josh sighed and kissed Lance’s damp cheek. “You never asked where I’m going to college.”

“I thought you’d be going to some place in Maryland or New York or Pennsylvania,” Lance said. “A good music school.”

“I am…but not up there.” Josh named the school. “Do you know where that is?” Lance shook his head. “It’s in Georgia.”

Lance opened his mouth and shut it. “G-Georgia?” He stammered, and Josh nodded. “That’s just a few states away!”

“That’s right.” Josh leaned his forehead against Lance’s forehead. “Lance, I’ve totally fallen in love with you. It’s gonna be an uphill battle, but I want this to work.”

“Oh, God.” Lance hugged Josh tight. “I was so afraid.”

“My brain is telling me it’s wrong…but my heart only says that it’s right,” Josh told him.

“I love you, Josh,” Lance sighed as he kissed Josh.

Fifteen

“Ladies...gentlemen…can I have your attention, please?” Mr. Kline raised his voice over the lunchtime clamor. The campers got quite and looked at him expectantly. “I have an announcement to make. We’re going to be doing things a little differently this year.” Lance looked over at Josh. Josh had a huge smile on his face, and he was practically bouncing in his chair. “Tonight is our banquet, and then the show. But after the show, we’ll be taking a little camping trip up into the woods.” The campers started to shout with excitement. “Quiet down,” Mr. Kline said. “For those of you who are interested, your counselors will have tents and sleeping bags enough for everyone to bunk up. For those of you who would rather stay back, some of the adult counselors will be remaining here. Let your counselor know if you want to join the trip.” He sat back down.

Lance stared at his plate, unable to believe his luck. A camping trip with Josh. They’d have to share their tent, but at least he could find a way to sleep RIGHT next to Josh. “Lance, are you gonna go?” John asked Lance. Lance looked up and nodded.

“Sure. It’ll be fun.” Lance looked back down at his plate and tried not to smile.

Josh cornered him outside the dining hall. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Lance said, meeting Josh’s grin with one of his own. “I guess I’m supposed to let you know if I’m interested in camping out tonight, since you’re my counselor and all.” Lance gave him a fake fawning stare and Josh rolled his eyes.

“You’re a dork. You’d better be interested.” Josh lowered his voice. “One of the tents is only big enough for two people and I swiped it, saying I’d make one of my campers share with me. Would you be willing to share with me?”

Lance’s mouth fell open. “J-just the two of us?”

Josh frowned. “I won’t try anything, Lance. I just thought it would be special.”

“Oh, no, Josh, I’m not scared or anything!” Lance said quickly. “Just surprised. Of COURSE I want to share with you.”

“Good.” Josh’s smile came back. “I need to talk to the other campers. I’ll see you later when we get ready for dinner.”

“Okay.” Lance gave him the special smile he reserved only for Josh. “See you.”

Josh walked away and Lance sighed happily. “Hey,” Meadow said, walking up. “You going tonight?”

“Uh-huh,” Lance said absently.

“You shacking up with your boyfriend?” Meadow teased quietly, and Lance blushed, as she knew he would.

“Yeah. He, uh, got a tent just for us,” Lance said softly, and her eyes widened.

“Go Lance!”

He gave her a gentle shove and they walked together arm in arm down the path.

“Wow.” Josh stared at Lance as he came out of their cabin. “That’s most definitely a new suit.”

“Yeah.” Lance blushed slightly as he rubbed at the dark grey fabric. “I worked last year babysitting.”

“Babysitting?” Josh raised an eyebrow. Lance pretended to punch him.

“Yes, babysitting. We got these new next door neighbors. They had two boys, and I was convenient. And they paid good. REAL good. Like ten bucks an hour.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah…and they were out like every weekend, so I made enough to save some and buy some stuff.”

“You make enough to buy a plane ticket to Maryland?” Josh asked as they walked down the path towards the dining hall. Lance stopped walking.

“What?”

“I thought you could come up for Christmas break,” Josh said. “If you want.”

“Fuck yeah, I want!” Lance almost yelled, and Josh laughed.

Lance couldn’t eat. This was the best meal of the entire summer and he had no appetite. Part of it was nerves, because of the upcoming performance, but the other part was excitement. He would get to sleep with Josh! “Lance…eat something,” Josh ordered.

“You okay, Lance?” One of the campers asked.

“Yeah…just nervous.” Lance obediently picked up his fork.

“I’m glad I’m in acting,” another boy said. “I could never sing in front of people. I would freak out!”

“Kinda like Lance is now,” John teased, and Lance poked at him with his fork.

Since Josh was one of the seniors, their performance was one of the last ones in the show. Lance conquered his nerves, and was able to walk out onto the small stage without hurting himself. Once Josh began to sing, however, it was like they were back in the music room rehearsing, and it went perfectly. It was totally normal for Josh to hug him at the end of the song, but Lance enjoyed the hug more than most singing partners would.

Mr. Kline made a small speech about Josh and two of the other seniors, and Lance clapped long and hard. Josh looked at him and blushed, and Lance only loved him more.

Almost all of the campers were going on the overnight trip, so it took a while to get everyone together. The cabins did not have to stay together, but most of Lance’s cabinmates followed Josh. Lance groaned. They’d never get to be alone. Josh deftly led them to the campsite and helped them get set up. He gave Lance their small tent. “Go over there…by that tree,” he said in a low voice. Lance nodded and set up the tent a few feet behind everyone else. It wasn’t as close to the fire, but he didn’t care. Josh would keep him warm.

The campers roasted marshmallows over their fires and sang songs, but soon they started to turn in for the night. Bedtime couldn’t come quickly enough for Lance. He was in the tent before Josh was. He changed into his sweatpants and sweatshirt and looked at the two sleeping bags. He wanted to be as close to JC as possible, so he unzipped his own bag and lay it down, then unzipped Josh’s bag for them to use as a blanket. Josh soon ducked in, closing the tent. “Hi,” Lance said shyly.

“Hi. I, uh, need to change,” Josh said softly.

“Okay. I won’t look,” Lance said, glancing away. Josh slowly turned his face back.

“I don’t care if you do.” Josh slowly took off his jeans, standing only in his boxer briefs. Lance looked at the firm package between Josh’s legs and swallowed deeply. Josh pulled on sweatpants and an extra shirt, then sat down next to Lance. Lance pulled the top bag over them. “God, Lance…” Josh touched Lance’s face as they lay down. “I can’t believe I’m here with you,” he whispered. “We’re almost alone.”

“Almost,” Lance whispered back. They kissed for a long moment, their legs tangling together. Lance felt Josh’s hardness against his leg and moaned very quietly. “Josh…you make me feel so crazy inside…like I wanna scream or something.”

“Me, too,” Josh murmured, licking at Lance’s ear. “Fuck, Lance…you’ve got me so hot…” Josh took Lance’s hand and slid it over his sweatpants. “Feel how hard you have me?”

“Josh,” Lance whispered, stroking Josh through the fabric. “Damn…”

“You…are so amazing,” Josh panted, kissing Lance. He sucked Lance’s tongue into his mouth, and he felt Lance shudder. He finally pushed Lance away and fell onto his back. “We need to slow down…” Josh whispered, and Lance nodded.

“Right.” Lance lay on his back, trying to control his heart.

“I have something for you,” Josh whispered. He sat up and dug through his backpack. “If you want it.” He slipped something cold and hard into Lance’s palm.

“What is it?” Lance fumbled for their flashlight and shone it onto his hand. “Oh, Josh…” Josh’s class ring sparkled in his palm. It was smaller then most class rings, with a light green stone in the middle.

“Our class colors aren’t even green or anything,” Josh said. “I picked mine out late, and just got it this year. But when we had to pick them out…I saw this color and knew I had to have it. It reminded me of someone’s eyes.” Josh smiled at Lance and turned off the flashlight. “I want you to have it. I know you can’t really wear it or anything…but you could put it on a chain and hide it under your shirt or something.”

“Wow.” Lance looked up at Josh with adoration. “I…I love it, Josh.”

“I love you.” Josh hugged Lance, kissed him, then pulled him down to snuggle until they fell asleep.

Sixteen

“I’m not gonna cry,” Lance said to himself as he shoved clothing into his suitcase. “Crying is for babies, not for boys who date college men. College men,” Lance said wistfully, staring into space as he held a pair of his socks. Josh would be in college, with all kinds of temptation. College men. College football players. College track stars. College play lead actors who would be around Josh all the time. Lance sighed. Josh was worried about keeping HIM from enjoying high school, but all Lance could think about was the fact that Josh would be away, surrounded by all kinds of fun things.

“Hey, Lance.” Josh bounced into the cabin. “Aren’t you done yet? Parents are starting to arrive.”

“Right,” Lance said, quickly pushing his suitcase closed.

“Lance.” Josh put a hand on Lance’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

“Maybe you were right,” Lance said, turning around slowly. “Maybe we should just have this be a summer thing.”

Josh’s face went pale. “What?”

“I mean, you’ll be in college. You should be having the time of your life, not waiting around for a fifteen-year-old kid to grow up.”

Josh glared at Lance. “Lance, if I didn’t have you, if we never would have met, what do you think I’d be doing at college?” Lance stared at him blankly. “Do you think I’d be partying every night, sleeping around? Is that the kind of person I am?”

“Well, no,” Lance said softly.

“Then why do you think you’re keeping me from something?”

“But there are all kinds of guys there that…”

“And there’s one incredible guy in Mississippi. That’s the only guy I care about,” Josh said. “God, Lance, shut up about it, okay?”

Lance grinned. “Okay.”

Josh helped him carry his bags to the parking lot. He waited by the bags while Lance went to check out, and then they stood and talked. “You’ll ask your parents? About Christmas break?”

“No. I’ll TELL them,” Lance said firmly.

“James?” Lance rolled his eyes at the sound of his mother’s voice. He turned around.

“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.”

“Did you have a good summer?” Diane hugged her son, then pulled back. “You look like you did.”

“I had a fantastic summer,” Lance said, smiling at Josh. “Mom, Dad, you remember Josh Chasez from last year.”

“Of course. How are you, Josh?” Jim said, shaking Josh’s hand. “James spoke of you often last year.” Lance blushed.

“Very well, sir. I hope you had a nice summer without Lance.”

“Very nice…but we missed our boy,” Diane said fondly. Lance rolled his eyes again.

“Mom…can I just say goodbye to Josh? I’ll be in the car in a minute.”

“Okay, James.” Diane smiled at Josh. “Nice to see you again, Josh.”

“You, too, Mrs. Bass. Bye now.” Josh smiled at her as she and Lance’s father went to the car.

“God,” Lance said, annoyed. “Sorry.”

“For what? They were fine.” Josh took a ragged breath. “God, Lance, I’d give anything to be able to kiss you goodbye.”

“I know,” Lance said. His lower lip quivered and he fought the tears. “Call me when you’re home, okay?”

“I will,” Josh promised. “I’ll call all the time. And I’ll email you. And we’ll see each other in like four months.”

“Right,” Lance said sadly. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.” Josh pulled Lance into a hug and kissed his neck. “Go on.”

“Bye.” Lance gave Josh a squeeze, then walked away without looking back.

The drive home was long, and Lance spent most of it staring out the window. He could still feel Josh’s arms around him, still feel his breath on his neck. He finally fell asleep, and he didn’t wake up until they pulled into the driveway.

“James? We’re home,” his mother said.

“Oh, right,” Lance said. He got out of the car, stretched, then helped his dad with his suitcases. He went up to his room and started digging through a small box under his bed. He soon found what he was looking for: a gold chain that someone had given him for Christmas but he had never worn. He looped the chain through Josh’s ring and put it around his neck. The ring was small enough that it didn’t show through the shirt he wore. He sighed, bringing the ring up to his lips and kissing it.

Lance was helping to wash dishes after dinner when the phone rang. “Hello?” Jim said. “Oh, yes, hold on.” He held the phone out. “For you, James.”

“Me?” Lance took the cordless phone. “Hello?”

“Hey there, sexy.”

“Hey!” Lance took the phone and ran up to his room, closing the door behind him. “You’re home!”

“Yes. I almost killed Joey sixteen times on the way, but I’m home.” Josh sighed. “I miss you already.”

“I miss you, too. My parents are already driving me crazy,” Lance said, and Josh laughed.

“Well, you just stay on their good side so you can come down here in December.”

“I will.” They talked for almost an hour, then Lance regretfully hung up. He wandered downstairs sadly.

“Who was that?” Diane asked.

“Oh, Josh.”

“Josh from camp?”

“Yes.” Lance looked her in the eye. “We got real close this summer. He’s like my best friend.”

“I see,” she said, walking into the den where his father was reading the newspaper.

“Uh, Mom? Dad? I have a question.” His father put the paper down. “I was wondering…um…I have almost four hundred dollars saved…Josh invited me to Maryland for part of Christmas break. I just wanted you to know.”

“Maryland?” Diane said. “Lance, you can’t go to Maryland all by yourself.”

“Mom, I’ll be fifteen and a half by then,” Lance said, annoyed. “I think I can manage it.”

“Diane, let our son grow up,” Jim said. “I trust this Joshua. Of course, Lance, you may go.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Lance raced back upstairs to call Josh back.

Seventeen

“Joshua…be careful on the highway!” His mother called as he grabbed his keys from the countertop. “And do you have your coat on?”

“Yes, Mom,” Josh said guiltily as he put on his heavy winter coat. He wasn’t planning on wearing it, but the tone of her voice made him feel bad.

“I’ll have dinner waiting when you get back.” Karen Chasez walked out of the kitchen with a smile on her face. “I’m so glad you have a friend coming to visit, Joshua. You’ve seemed so down lately.”

“I’m sure having Lance here will cheer me up,” Josh replied, trying to ignore the flip-flops his stomach was doing.

Josh got into his car and hurried out of the driveway. Lance’s flight would be landing in forty minutes, and the drive from his house to the airport would take a half-hour. He couldn’t believe how much he had missed Lance, and how excited he was to see him. They talked on the phone once a week, and they emailed every day. Josh had been miserable his first few weeks at school, though involvement in theater activities soon cheered him up a little. He was too busy to go visit Lance, and he knew Lance was busy as well, so Christmas break was the first chance he’d really have to see Lance. Lance was staying from December 27^th to January 3^rd, and Josh planned on making every second count.

Lance wearily walked up the hallway from the plane to the terminal. The flight had been bumpy, and he had been so excited the night before that he couldn’t sleep. He hefted his backpack up as he walked through the doorway. One look at Josh’s smiling face drove every drop of weariness from his body. “Josh.”

“Lance. God.” Josh gave him a long hug, and Lance felt Josh’s lips touch his neck. “You…”

“I know.” Lance squeezed Josh tight, then pulled away.

“You look great.” Josh looked Lance over and sighed. “Amazing.”

“Yeah…you’re a sight for sore eyes, too,” Lance said with a grin.

“C’mon. Let’s get your bags and get outta here.” Josh led the way to the baggage claim and Lance found his two suitcases. They lugged them out to Josh’s car and put them in the trunk. Lance climbed in on the passenger side, and Josh got behind the wheel. They looked at each other.

“I really missed you,” Lance whispered. Josh sighed and leaned towards Lance. They kissed for almost five minutes, relearning everything about the other person’s mouth.

“I missed you, too,” Josh said when they finally broke the kiss.

“So, this is Lance.” Josh’s mother smiled at him when they walked in the door. “Hi, Lance. I’m Karen, Josh’s mom.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Chasez,” Lance said, shaking her hand.

“I said, Karen, Lance.” Karen looked at Josh. “Such nice manners…I hope it rubs off.”

“Mom!” Josh said, annoyed.

“I made cheeseburgers for dinner, Lance, I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s more than okay. I’m starving,” Lance said.

“Well, Roy, Josh’s dad, will be home in about fifteen minutes, so why don’t you get settled in until he gets here?”

“Thank you.”

“C’mon.” Josh took one of Lance’s suitcases and led the way up the stairs. “There are two guestrooms, but I thought you’d like this one.” Josh showed Lance a small but neat room. “My room is right next door.”

“Oh, really?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Josh closed the door behind them and kissed Lance again.

“Oh, I can’t believe I’m here,” Lance said, sighing happily. “I can’t. I keep thinking that I dreamt you.”

“I’m real.” Josh pressed his body against Lance’s. “And right here.”

“One of the big things that’s a bummer about our relationship is that I can’t brag about you,” Lance said as he unzipped his suitcase. “I mean, if I was a girl, or you were, man, I would TOTALLY be telling everyone. I’d say, “Yeah, he’s in college. A freshman.” But I don’t,” Lance said with a sigh.

“I have something to tell you,” Josh said softly. Lance turned white. “God, Lance, calm down. You get so paranoid.”

“I’ve been so worried all fall that you’d decide to break up with me,” Lance said softly.

“Never,” Josh promised. “But anyway…I have something interesting to tell you. My mom and dad are going to a New Year’s Eve party. They’ll be gone overnight because it’s at some big hotel in DC.”

“Oh,” Lance said. Then his eyes widened. “OH.”

“Yeah.” Josh smiled. “One of my friends is having a party, and we could go, but I thought you might want to stay here.”

“Yeah,” Lance said faintly.

“Boys! Dinner!” Karen called. Josh kissed Lance one more time.

“I’ll let you get washed up.” Josh left the room and Lance went out to the bathroom to wash his hands, trying to imagine what a whole night alone with Josh would be like.

Eighteen

“Lance. Nice to meet you.” Roy Chasez shook Lance’s hand. “It’s nice to have you here.”

“Thank you, sir,” Lance said, slipping into his seat at the table. A pile of cheeseburgers sat directly in front of him, and a bowl of homemade French fries was in front of Josh.

“Sir…such manners,” Karen sighed, looking at Josh.

“Yeah, I know. You wish they’d rub off.” Josh rolled his eyes and Lance blushed.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault my son is a heathen,” Diane said, putting a bowl of potato salad down on the table.

“Maybe it’s my poor upbringing,” Josh teased, and she pretended to hit him with a spoon.

“So, Lance, what grade are you in?” Roy asked.

“I’m a sophomore, sir. I’ll graduate year after next,” Lance said.

“You going to go to college? Maybe music school like Joshua?” Roy continued.

“Definitely college, though I don’t know about music. I’m not as talented as Josh,” Lance said, looking at Josh with open admiration. “I’m thinking more along the lines of business…maybe something in entertainment law or something.”

“Good head on your shoulders.” Roy nodded.

“Maybe you can work with Josh someday,” Karen said. “You two would make a good team.”

“I think so, too, Karen,” Lance said seriously, and Josh choked on his soda.

“You okay?” Roy asked. Josh nodded.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He coughed for a bit, unable to look at Lance.

“You are so bad!” Josh hissed as they went upstairs after dinner.

“What? I was just agreeing with your mom,” Lance replied, though there was an evil glint in his green eyes. “I think we make a fantastic team.”

“Yeah,” Josh said with a happy sigh.

“Hey, I have something for you.” Lance went into his room and dug through his suitcase. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Josh said, unwrapping the plain brown paper. He grinned. “Oh, man. When was this?”

“Day before the show,” Lance said, sitting down next to Josh on the bed. “Meadow took it, remember?”

“Yeah.” Josh looked at the picture in his hands. He and Lance were seated under a tree, laughing as they put their arms around each other for the picture. “Thanks, Lance. I’m gonna keep this right by my bed.”

“That’s where mine is,” Lance said. He sighed. “Though I hide it every time my mom comes in to clean. She’d start asking why I have a picture of us on my nightstand.”

“Oh, yeah.” Josh realized that his mother would do the same thing. “I’ll just keep it in my drawer, and every night I’ll look at it before I go to sleep, and I’ll say hello to you every morning.”

“You’re a big sap,” Lance said, but he blushed, pleased.

Nineteen

Josh spent the next few days showing Lance around his small town. He drove into Baltimore, and they walked around Inner Harbor, wandering through the shopping malls and spending three hours in the Aquarium. One day they went into Washington DC. It was Lance’s first time in this part of the country, and Josh wanted him to see as much as he could.

“Let’s go to a movie,” Josh suggested on the day before New Year’s Eve.

“A movie?” Lance looked up from his dinner. “Anything special you wanted to see?”

“No.” Josh sent a very obvious glance in his mother’s direction. “It’s just that I can’t come up with anything else for us to do.”

“You don’t have to entertain me, Josh,” Lance said, laughing.

“The new movie theater is huge,” Josh said. “Like twelve screens or something.”

“Cool. Okay…we can go to a movie.”

“Here you are, boys.” Karen handed them the newspaper. “Look in here.”

They found a movie they both could agree on and went upstairs to change clothes. “What’s up with the sudden cinematic interest?” Lance asked.

“Movie theater…darkness…together…in the back…” Josh whispered in his ear, and Lance whimpered. “If nothing else, I can hold your hand.”

“Yeah,” Lance said, wondering why he hadn’t thought of the idea himself.

The movie was stupid, at least the parts that Lance actually paid attention to. He was too busy concentrating on the way Josh’s thumb stroked his knuckles as they held hands. The movie theater wasn’t very full, but they still sat in the darkest back corner. Lance spent most of the movie with his head on Josh’s shoulder, but about twenty minutes before it ended, they pulled apart, regretfully releasing their hands. No need to start a fuss.

“That was really dumb,” Josh said as the lights came up. “I mean, I heard it was good.”

“Me, too. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it was stupid,” Lance replied. They went out into the hallway and headed for the front door.

“Josh! Joshua!” A female voice called from behind them. Lance turned and saw a pretty blond running up to hug Josh. “You’re back from college! You didn’t call me!”

“I haven’t really called anyone,” Josh said. He looked at Lance. “Lance, this is Bobbie. Bobbie, this is my friend Lance, from music camp.”

“Oh. Hello.” Bobbie dismissed Lance immediately. “Don’t you look all handsome and grown up? A college man!” Bobbie playfully ran her finger up the zipper of Josh’s coat. “You need to tell me how things are!”

“We, uh…” Josh stammered.

“Hi, Josh!” Two more girls and a boy walked over.

“Hey, Melissa, Andy, Jessica,” Josh said with a sigh. “Lance, these are friends of mine from high school. They’re all seniors now, like Bobbie. This is a friend from Mississippi, Lance.”

“Hi, Lance,” one of the girls said. Lance smiled and nodded.

“We’re going to the diner for something to eat. Come along?” Andy asked.

“No, we already ate,” Josh said.

“I insist. Your little friend can come along. I want to hear all about college!” Bobbie linked her arm through Josh’s and led him away. He sent Lance a helpless look. Lance simply raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry.” Josh said as soon as they got in the car three hours later. “Lance, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t get away from her.”

“Yes, you could have. You could have put your foot down and said, no, I don’t want to go to the diner with you,” Lance said firmly. Josh laughed a bitter laugh.

“Yeah, like YOU are really good at standing up for yourself. I didn’t see too much of that your first year at camp.”

“Fuck you,” Lance said, hurt. “At least I wasn’t off flirting with my ex-girlfriend.” Bobbie had made it very clear that she still felt Josh was hers, and she totally ignored Lance.

“I wasn’t flirting with her!” Josh exclaimed.

“Whatever,” Lance said, still hurt. They didn’t talk the rest of the way home, and Lance went right to bed when they entered the house.

“Everything okay?” Roy said as Josh poked his head into the family room. “Why are you two so late?”

“We ran into some of the kids at the movies, and we went to the diner with them,” Josh replied. He sighed. “They were kinda rude to Lance.” This wasn’t exactly true. Only Bobbie had been rude. The other three had made an effort to include a silently fuming Lance in their conversation.

“I wonder about your choice of friends sometimes, Joshua,” Karen said. “You need to find more friends like Lance. He’s such a nice, mature boy.”

“Yes, he’s pretty something,” Josh agreed. “I’ll just talk to him tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night, Son,” Roy said.

Josh trudged up the steps, stopping outside Lance’s door. It was ajar, and he could see through the crack. Lance was already in his flannel pajamas, and he was kneeling by his bed. Josh was surprised to see that he was praying.

“Lord, I know I’m probably going to hell anyway for my feelings, but if not, could you please help me to understand Josh? I don’t know what he wants, if it’s that Bobbie girl or me…but if it’s her, can you make him show me? I hate feeling confused. I thought he cared about me…I’m just lost. Whatever Your will is, I know, but this one time I kinda wish it was the same as my own will. Thanks for everything, for my mother and father and all the gifts you’ve given me. Amen.”

Josh watched Lance climb into bed and turn off the light. He sighed and went to his own room. It was a long time before he fell asleep.

Lance felt something tickling his nose. He mumbled and swiped at it. It stopped, then started again a few minutes later. He sniffed. Something sweet. He opened his eyes and saw a red rose inches from his face. “Hi.”

“What time is it?” Lance asked.

“Nine-thirty.” Josh smiled. “Good morning.”

“What are you doing up?” Lance asked. Josh never showed his face before at least eleven if he didn’t have to.

“I know you get up early, so I set my alarm. I wanted to make you breakfast. Sit up.”

Lance struggled to a sitting position. Josh carefully placed a tray across his legs. Lance looked down at the scrambled eggs, sausage and white toast. A glass of orange juice finished off the breakfast. “You did all this? For me?” Lance whispered.

“Sure. You deserve it.” Josh chose his next words carefully. “I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me…that I’d never pick anyone over you.”

Lance sent a silent thank you to heaven, then smiled at Josh. “This looks great. I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I can cook a few things. I’m gonna make us spaghetti tonight.”

“Right.” Lance was brought back to reality with a crushing thud.

“Lance…we can go to that party if you want,” Josh said, concerned. “I’m not gonna force you to do anything.”

“I know…I’m just nervous. I mean, you’re the only person I’ve ever even kissed.”

“Lance, think about something. I’ve done stuff with girls, sure…but you’re the only boy I’ve ever been with. So we’re in the same boat.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Lance smiled at the thought. He had never considered that before.

“Dig in and get your lazy ass out of bed!” Josh ruffled Lance’s hair, then got up off the bed. “I need to do some stuff for my mom. I’ll see you downstairs later, okay?”

Lance nodded, mouth full of eggs.

Twenty

“Mom, I’m gonna run out to the store. I wanna get some bread. Do we need anything else?” Josh yelled up the steps as his mother was getting ready for her party.

“Uh, no. Not that I’m aware of. Be careful out there. People are already drinking,” she called back.

“Okay.” Josh rolled his eyes. He looked at Lance, who was watching TV in the family room. “You mind staying here? This will be quick…just gotta run to the grocery store.”

“Sure,” Lance replied. Josh sent a cautious glance up the steps, then hurried over to give Lance a quick kiss.

“See you soon.”

“You look spectacular, Karen,” Lance said as she came down the steps. She blushed prettily.

“Why, thank you, Lance. Are you sure we can’t just adopt you?”

Lance laughed. “I think my mother might have a problem with that, ma’am, but I’ll ask her.”

“You boys have a good time tonight,” she said as Roy came down the steps. “Are you going to Josh’s friend’s party?”

“I don’t think so. I…I feel kinda awkward around Josh’s friends. They’re all so much older than me,” Lance said softly.

“Don’t you feel that way, Lance. I know a lot of those kids, and they aren’t all that special. You’re worth a million of them.” Karen kissed him on the cheek and he blushed a furious red.

“Th-thank you.”

“Let’s go, Karen…we’re gonna hit traffic,” Roy reminded her. She went for her coat. “Lance, keep my son in line,” Roy said.

“Yes, sir,” Lance said with a grin.

“Have a good evening,” Karen said as she breezed out the door.

“You, too,” Lance said, sighing as the door closed behind them. The rest of the night belonged to him and Josh.

Josh didn’t return until almost seven o’clock, and Lance was worried sick. “Where have you been?” He almost screamed when Josh came in the door. “I have no way to contact you, no way to contact your parents. You’ve been gone two hours!”

“I, uh, ran into someone at the store.” Josh hurried into the kitchen. Lance immediately knew who it was.

“And she chained you to a rack of chewing gum and FORCED you to stay at the store?” Lance followed Josh into the kitchen.

“Something like that,” Josh mumbled, putting water on to boil.

“WHY did you stay and talk to her, Josh? God…are you SURE you’re gay?” Lance snapped. Josh whirled around.

“Don’t give me that shit, Lance.”

“Did you ever have sex with her, Josh?”

“Lance…”

“Answer my question.”

“Yes.” Josh’s gaze was unwavering.

“Oh. I see. So you AREN’T gay.”

“I did it a few times! Maybe I’m bisexual or something, okay? She’s not what I want.”

“Whatever,” Lance muttered. Josh angrily slammed the jar of sauce down onto the counter.

“Fuck you, Lance. Like you know so fucking much. You’re still a child.” Lance drew back like Josh had slapped him. Josh gasped in horror, knowing he had gone too far. “Lance…”

“You’ve made your point, Josh. Don’t bother with dinner. I’m not hungry.” Lance slowly left the kitchen and went upstairs.

“Fuck,” Josh said angrily. He turned off the stove and followed Lance up the steps. “Lance!” Lance didn’t answer. Josh went back downstairs, retrieved something from the grocery store bag, then came back up. “Lance, open the door, please.”

“It’s unlocked,” Lance said, and Josh came in. Lance was slowly packing his suitcase.

“What are you doing?” Josh gasped.

“I’m packing. This child needs to go home,” Lance said. He tried his best to hide the sniffle, but it came out louder than he expected. He blushed and turned back to his suitcase.

“No. No, Lance, you can’t go. You can’t.” Josh pulled Lance back from the suitcase and forced him to look at him. “Lance…I’m so sorry. I should never have said that. I was embarrassed and angry with Bobbie and I said that awful thing.”

“You obviously think I’m a child, Josh. Maybe I am. Too young to be with you, obviously.” Lance angrily wiped at a tear.

“Lance, oh, baby, please don’t cry. I hate that I made you cry.” Misery filled Josh’s blue eyes. “The reason I stayed to talk to her…I swear to GOD this is the honest truth…she caught me in a situation I couldn’t get out of.” Josh dumped the contents of the bag he held and Lance’s eyes widened. “I got the bread, and then I went to the health aisle. I had already put the lubricant in the basket…thank God it had rolled under the bread…and I was checking out condoms when she walked up to me. I had no way out except to talk to her. She got all jealous, and I tried pointing out that she and I had broken up. I finally got out of there. And I came right back to you, Lance.” Josh sighed. “I swear, you’re what I want, okay? I don’t want her.”

“I…I won’t know what I’m doing,” Lance said. “I’ll be so clueless and you’ll think I’m a dork.”

“Lance, number one, I would never think that. Number two, it doesn’t even have to go that far. It can just be kissing or touching or whatever. Just…don’t leave me.”

“I’m not leaving,” Lance said.

“Good. Put the suitcase away,” Josh said, relieved.

“Okay.” Lance gave the suitcase a shove and sent it flying onto the floor. Josh chuckled. Lance stretched out onto the bed, giving JC a look. JC stopped chuckling.

Twenty-One

Josh stared down at Lance. “Um...”

“I wish you’d lay down here with me.” Lance’s green eyes were full of trust. “If you want to.”

“I...uh...dinner?” Josh’s face was an excited squeak, and he cleared his throat. Lance grinned, pleased that Josh was nervous, too.

“It can wait, right?” Lance said. “I just want you to lay down.”

Josh laid down next to Lance. Lance leaned in and Josh kissed him. “Oh, Lance,” Josh murmured. They kissed slowly, then harder. Lance’s hand ran up the back of Josh’s neck, stroking through his short hair. Josh’s hands slid around to cup Lance’s ass, pulling him closer. “You know I won’t force you into anything. In a lot of ways this is just as new to me as it is to you,” Josh said softly. He kissed a line down Lance’s pale neck. “God...you taste so good.”

“Josh...” Lance whimpered as Josh’s hand slid up under his shirt. He wriggled until Josh got the idea and pulled the shirt up over Lance’s head. “You, too,” Lance whispered, and Josh took his own shirt off.

Lance’s chest was smooth with no hair, and Josh liked it. He rubbed his cheek against Lance’s skin before kissing his way to Lance’s nipples. “You’re beautiful,” Josh murmured, licking at the nipple before gently sucking. Lance gasped loudly, arching up to Josh’s mouth. “Relax,” Josh said softly. He rubbed Lance’s sides in a soothing motion.

“Josh...that feels so good.” Goosebumps covered Lance’s skin as he writhed on the bed. He pulled Josh up to kiss him, letting his hands slide up and down Josh’s back.

“I wanna see you...touch you. Can I?” Josh asked softly. Lance nodded and Josh stood up. He slowly unzipped his jeans and slid them down. He then pushed his boxer briefs down and stepped out of them. Lance swallowed deeply, looking at Josh’s body. His eyes were riveted on the thick erection. Josh laid back down on the bed, kissing Lance for a long time. He carefully unzipped Lance’s jeans, and Lance shimmied out of them. Josh kissed Lance some more, then began to caress Lance through his boxers. “God...you’re so hard.”

“I...I’ve never felt this way before,” Lance panted.

“Have you ever jacked off?” Josh asked softly. Lance nodded, his whole body blushing.

“I think of you when I do it,” he confided.

“God,” Josh said in a strangled voice, the mental picture making him even harder. “I’m just gonna do that, okay? Just like you do to yourself.” Josh pushed Lance’s boxers down and sighed as he slid his hand up Lance’s thigh. He trailed his long fingers over Lance’s balls, then slowly began to stroke him.

“Josh! Oh, God, Josh!” Lance cried out. “That feels so good!”

Josh covered Lance’s body with his own. He moved over Lance, making their cocks rub together. “God, Lance, you’re so fucking sexy.” Josh kissed Lance, sucking on his tongue.

“I’m gonna come...oh God...Josh...” Lance moaned. “I can’t wait.”

Josh instantly rolled off of Lance. Lance whimpered and looked at him. “We can stop right here,” Josh said softly. “We can just get each other off, just like this. I’m totally fine with that. But I’m not gonna lie. I would love to see what making love to you is like. I know it will hurt you. I hope it will feel good. But I can’t promise that. And I never would willingly hurt you.” Josh ran a hand over Lance’s chest. “You’re so young. This is all new to you. I don’t want to rush you into ANYTHING, Lance.”

“I...I want you to make love to me,” Lance said in a small voice. “But I’m scared.”

“That’s fine,” Josh whispered, tenderly kissing him. His hand slid between Lance’s legs once more, stroking the thick cock that he found there.

“Oh...Josh...” Lance gasped, throwing his head back. He blindly reached until he grabbed Josh’s hardness. Josh grunted and stroked Lance harder. “Josh...J-Josh...” Lance screamed Josh’s name as he came in thick spurts. Josh watched the ecstasy on Lance’s face and felt Lance’s hand tighten around his cock. He came as well, burying his face in Lance’s shoulder.

“Oh, baby, I love you. This was so good...we have all the time in the world,” Josh whispered, kissing Lance’s neck.

Twenty-Two

Josh held Lance for almost twenty minutes before Lance heard him lightly snore. Lance grinned. Josh could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He got up and pulled on his jeans, then he put on Josh’s shirt. He liked the way it draped over his body. The sleeves were a bit too long, so he shoved them up.

He went downstairs and turned the burner back on. He could boil water, if nothing else. He sat down at the kitchen and put his chin in his hand. His mind was drastically trying to grasp everything that had just happened. He could not believe everything he was feeling. Josh was so amazing, so sexy, and he wanted HIM. Lance. That’s who he wanted. Lance sighed happily.

Lance had just poured the spaghetti into the boiling water when Josh sleepily stumbled into the kitchen. “Hey. Sorry I fell asleep.”

“I expect you to fall asleep.”

“I’ll start the sauce.” Josh reached up into the cupboard for a pot. He turned around and looked at Lance. “That was incredible,” he said softly. Lance blushed. “I love you, Lance. I mean, I never thought I’d feel this way about a boy…I mean, a man,” Josh corrected himself. “But you…you’re amazing.”

“Josh,” Lance whispered as they kissed. He leaned back on the counter as Josh pressed up against him. Josh finally pulled away with a groan.

“Dinner. We need to cook dinner,” he told himself out loud, and Lance laughed.

“This was really good,” Lance told him as he ate his last bite of spaghetti.

“It was just sauce from a jar, Lance. Anyone can do it,” Josh teased. Lance smiled at him.

“Well, you made it taste better,” he told Josh, who actually blushed.

“Well, I…” the phone rang and they both jumped. Lance looked guilty. “Calm down, Lance. If it’s my parents, it’s not like they can see us or anything.” Josh got up and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Josh! Hey!”

“Oh. Hello, Bobbie.” Josh frowned. Lance started to clear the table.

“I was wondering if you were coming to Nate’s party?”

“I told you already, I’m not coming. Lance and I are celebrating here.”

“Bring your little friend along, Josh. I know you want someone to kiss at midnight,” Bobbie cooed.

Josh sighed. Obviously she couldn’t take a hint. “Bobbie, listen to me. First of all, I refuse to bring Lance around you people. You were really rude to him at the diner. Secondly…I’m seeing someone else. You are the LAST person I want to kiss at midnight,” Josh said angrily. Lance heard him and smiled.

“We had something good, Josh. I thought going away to college would make you realize that,” Bobbie said unhappily.

“Going away to college made me realize what I really want,” Josh said, looking at Lance.

“Fine. You can go to hell for all I care.” Bobbie hung up.

“Wow.” Lance looked at Josh. “You okay?”

“Yeah. She’s a little pissed…but I don’t really care.” Josh stood up. “C’mon. Let’s play Nintendo. The dishes can wait.”

They played video games for a few hours, then turned on Dick Clark. “Man, wouldn’t it be cool to perform on Dick Clark?” Josh asked as he snuggled with Lance. “EVERYONE watches Dick Clark.”

“You’d be great. The confetti would fall and you’d look like you were sitting in a colorful snowstorm,” Lance said with a sigh. “It would fall in your hair, and you’d be smiling…you’d be gorgeous.”

“What was that all about?” Josh asked with a laugh. Lance blushed.

“I don’t know. I just…you’re like a dream, Josh. A dream come true. Someone like you in my life…I never would have thought it possible.”

“It is possible, Lance. And we’re gonna make this work.” Josh tenderly kissed Lance. Lance ran his hands up the back of Josh’s neck, kissing down Josh’s slender throat.

“Would I sound like a horny teenager if I asked if we could go back upstairs?” Lance asked in a tiny voice. Josh froze, then smiled.

“Aren’t we both horny teenagers?”

“I just…I wanna be with you again…I want…I just…”

“Let’s go. We can watch this upstairs.” Josh turned off the TV, took Lance’s hand, and led him upstairs. He turned on the TV in his room and looked at Lance. “I like you in my shirt.” Lance giggled adorably. “I like you better out of my shirt.” He helped Lance wiggle out of the long-sleeved tshirt. “Much better.” Josh’s hands roamed over Lance’s smooth chest. “Lance…I wanna taste you. I’ve never done it before, so I could really be bad at it…but I want to feel you in my mouth.” Josh watched Lance’s face. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Lance whispered. He undid his jeans and slid them down. He lay back on the bed and Josh sighed.

“You’re gorgeous.” He slid his way up Lance’s body, then kissed his way down. When he reached Lance’s cock, it was hard. He slowly planted kisses, learning his way around the thickness. He licked at the head and Lance shuddered. When Josh slowly took the tip in his warm mouth, he felt Lance’s hands fist in his short hair.

“Josh…oh…my…God…” Lance’s teeth chattered. He thrust up, almost gagging Josh. Josh tried to adjust, but it was hard getting used to something thrusting in and out of his mouth. He slid a hand up and lightly played with Lance’s nipples. “Josh…oh fuck…” Lance’s voice got even lower. “Gonna…cum…Josh…don’t stop…” Josh clumsily continued to suck and suddenly Lance was shooting into his mouth. Josh drew back, slightly nauseated by the salty taste in his mouth. He couldn’t force himself to swallow it, so he went to his trashcan and spit it out.

“Sorry…that was less than romantic, I know,” Josh apologized, laying down next to Lance. Lance was slightly shivering. “Are you okay?”

“That was incredible,” Lance said as the crowd in Times Square started to count down from ten. He kissed Josh, then looked him in the eye. “Make love to me, Josh.”

Twenty-Three

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Josh stared at the TV, then looked at Lance, shaking his head. “I SWEAR I just heard you asking me to make love to you. But I’m probably hearing things, right?”

“No,” Lance said quietly. “I want you to make love to me.”

Josh fell to his knees in front of him. “Lance, no. It will hurt. And you’re only fifteen. You’re not ready for something like that. And it will hurt.”

Lance smiled. “Josh, I think we’ve covered that it will hurt. And I don’t think it’s your job to decide what I’m ready for or not ready for. Besides, what did you buy the condoms and lube for, then?”

“Well…I…I expected you to make love to me,” Josh stammered. Lance’s green eyes widened.

“Josh, I’m only fifteen! I’m not ready for something like that!”

“I’m sorry! I…” Josh stopped as Lance laughed. “You’re a dork.”

“I couldn’t help it.” Lance plucked at Josh’s shirt. “Josh, please. If I can’t handle it, I’ll tell you to stop. I PROMISE.”

“Lance…”

“God, Josh, just shut up and kiss me.” Lance pulled Josh up onto the bed. Josh lazily kissed Lance, and Lance knew he was worried. He pushed Josh away. “But if you don’t WANT to…”

“That is not even an issue,” Josh murmured. He sat up and pulled off his shirt, then stood. “You know I want to.” He tugged off his jeans, then turned off the television. He was already hard, just thinking about being naked with Lance once more. He lay back down and they kissed. Josh was surprised to find that Lance was growing hard as well. He smirked as he kissed his way down Lance’s chest. “Amazing recovery time.”

Lance’s entire body blushed. “I just…you’re…”

“I was teasing. Shh.” Josh kissed Lance’s thighs, then moved away from the bed. He found the bag of lubricant and condoms in a dresser drawer and came back. “You tell me to stop the INSTANT this hurts, understand?”

“Yeah, okay, Josh, fine,” Lance said. He closed his eyes as Josh began to kiss his thighs once more. He felt Josh’s tongue tentatively lick at his balls and he moaned. His hands clenched into fists. One of Josh’s fingers, cold and wet, slid down below his balls to his opening.

“I’m new at this,” Josh whispered. “But I’ll try to be gentle.”

Lance winced as Josh’s finger started to slide in. “It’s okay,” he gasped.

“Relax, Lance,” Josh murmured. He kissed the inside of Lance’s knee as the finger went inside. He slowly pulled it out, then just as slowly pushed inside again.

“Oh,” Lance said in surprise. Josh froze.

“What?”

“You hit this…place.”

“Here?” Josh let his finger swim a bit.

“YES!” Lance almost yelled, and Josh quietly chuckled. He kept the same slow pace until Lance was gasping for breath and begging him not to stop. He added a second finger, and Lance winced once more. Josh continued on slowly until Lance was comfortable. He then got up on his knees and unwrapped a condom.

“I love you, Lance,” Josh promised. He covered the condom with lubricant. “I don’t want to hurt you…I want you to feel good.”

“I will,” Lance said. He closed his eyes as Josh put his legs on either side of his own. He felt Josh at his entrance, then he felt intense pain. Josh had done his best, but his cock was a lot thicker than his fingers. “Oh…fuck…” Lance said, drawing a ragged breath. Tears dropped out of the green eyes.

“That’s it. I’m stopping.”

“No, Josh, go ahead.” Lance grabbed the sheets in both fists. “Go ahead.”

“Lance,” Josh breathed, sinking in. “This is…so tight. Incredible…oh baby…” Josh held onto Lance’s hips as he slowly moved in and out. “I…I’ve never felt anything like this before. I love you…” Josh slowly changed direction once or twice until he saw something other than pain flicker over Lance’s face. “Was that it?”

“It was something…oh God, there…” Lance whispered. Josh held steady in that direction, pushing a little harder every time.

“Lance…you are so fucking good…you’re just…God…I can’t hold on much longer…”

“I want you to cum, Josh, please…” Lance said in his low voice, and Josh shuddered. He grabbed Lance’s hips tighter and thrust in a few more times.

“Fuck, Lance!” Josh yelled, cumming hard. He pulled out, then discarded the condom. He fell onto his back, gasping for breath. He looked at Lance. “What do you want me to do for you?” He asked.

“Nothing. C’mere.” Lance opened his arms and Josh snuggled close. “That was interesting.”

“Interesting? That was AMAZING. Nothing…nothing like I’ve ever experienced. Wait til YOU get to do it. You’ll see what I mean.” Josh kissed Lance passionately. “I love you, Lance.”

“Love you, too, Josh.” Lance kissed Josh’s forehead.

Josh woke up at noon on New Year’s Day, still naked but alone in his bed. He frowned, wondering if Lance was some sort of traumatized. He then realized that his parents were probably home by then, and Lance hadn’t wanted them to find him in Josh’s bed, naked. Josh grinned and stretched.

When he got downstairs after his shower, his mother was making lunch. Lance was sitting at the table reading the newspaper, also freshly showered. “Joshua. Good afternoon. Happy New Year,” his mother said.

“You, too, Mom.” Josh kissed his mother’s cheek as he got a soda from the fridge. “You guys have a good time?”

“Yes, we did. Your father is in bed. He’s such a baby,” Karen said with a grin. “You too have fun last night?”

“Yes, we did,” Lance answered. He shifted in his chair and winced slightly, then blushed. Josh grinned.

“Yeah. Great time,” Josh echoed.

After lunch, he and Lance watched TV in Josh’s room. They lay on the bed, close enough to touch but not too close, in case Karen would walk in unannounced. “I can’t believe I have to leave the day after tomorrow,” Lance said unhappily.

“I’ll see you again. Don’t you worry.”

“Like when?” Lance asked.

“Like Spring Break,” Josh answered.

“Spring Break?”

“Yeah…Mom and Dad said I can rent a beach house with some friends…you’re my friend, too.”

“A beach house?” Lance said excitedly. Then he sighed. “My parents will NEVER approve.”

“Maybe if my mom and dad call them,” Josh suggested.

“You sound like a ten year old,” Lance teased. “Mom, if Lance’s mom and dad say it’s okay, can he stay over?”

“You’re just lucky I don’t handcuff you to my bed,” Josh growled, nipping at Lance’s neck as he tickled him.

“Josh, stop!” Lance yelled, thrashing his legs as he laughed. “Josh!”

“Oooh…I love when you scream my name…do it again!” Josh said, tickling harder.

“Josh, I will kick your ass!” Lance yelled.

“Ooh…I wanna see that,” Josh said, licking Lance’s neck. Lance moaned and grabbed Josh’s backside.

“Boys, what’s all this racket! It sounds like…” Karen froze in the doorway. Lance felt his entire body go immobile. “It sounds like the floor is gonna fall in,” she finished weakly.

“Mom,” Josh said, rolling off of Lance. Lance closed his eyes.

“Not now, Joshua.” Karen closed the door as she went back into the hall.

Twenty-Four

“Josh?” Lance said in a quiet voice.

Josh stood up. “I’m gonna go talk to her. Why don’t you just go to your room and hang there until I’m done, okay?”

“I’m really sorry, Josh,” Lance said miserably. Josh cupped Lance’s chin in his hands.

“Don’t be, Lance. We did nothing wrong, understand me?” Lance nodded but still looked miserable.

Josh headed downstairs. “Mom? Dad?”

“In here, Joshua Scott,” his father said from his den. Josh went into the room, closing the door behind him. His father had just gotten out of bed, and was still in his pajamas. Karen was looking out the window. “Care to explain what your mother saw?”

“We were just fooling around…roughhousing,” Josh said.

Karen whirled around. “That was MORE than simple roughhousing, Joshua! He was…touching you!”

“Okay, so he was touching me.” Josh sighed. “I guess we thought we could hide it.”

“Exactly what are you hiding, Son?” Roy snapped.

“We’re in love. Lance and me,” Josh said softly. “We have been since camp. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Joshua,” Karen gasped.

“He is. Mom, Dad, you already knew I was gay. I told you about it last year…and no matter how much you try to deny it, it’s true.”

“But you and Bobbie…” Karen protested.

“I tried, Mom, but every time she snuggled up close or asked me to sleep with her, or even kissed me…I’d have to think about other things just to go through with it. Sex isn’t something you should just go through with. It should be with someone you care about and want to be with.” Josh sat down. “I’m sorry, Mom, okay? I’m sorry you walked in on what you walked in on.”

“Let me get this straight.” Roy took off his glasses and stared at Josh. “You and this boy…this CHILD…this person you hardly know…you’re boyfriend and…boyfriend?” Josh nodded. “We let him into our house. We…”

“Don’t make it sound like that, Dad,” Josh said angrily. “This isn’t Lance’s fault. He didn’t seduce me or anything. For God’s sake…he’s only fifteen.”

“That’s the point, Joshua!” Karen almost yelled. “That boy is still a child. You had no right…”

“If I had brought home a fifteen year old FEMALE friend from camp, would we even be having this conversation? What would you have said? You’d have said, Josh, she’s a little young, so don’t you go rushing her into anything she’s not ready for. It’s the same with Lance…at least you don’t have to worry about me getting him pregnant.” Josh tried to smile, but it was weak.

“Do his parents know about this?” Roy demanded.

“No. They don’t even know he’s gay. They’re not as…understanding as you guys are. Or at least as understanding as I THOUGHT you were.”

“Joshua, don’t turn this back on us,” Karen said. “What are we supposed to think?”

“I admit that it was a shock to you, and I apologize for that,” Josh said. “But I love Lance. Mom, if none of this had happened today, what would you have thought of him? What is your opinion of Lance?”

“He’s a good boy,” Karen admitted slowly. “Intelligent, very kind, polite, nice…exactly the kind of friend I’d want you to have.”

“And if I was straight, wouldn’t you want all of that in a girlfriend for me, too? Lance is everything I want. You just have to accept that.” Josh stood. “I’m eighteen now. If I wanted, I could move out on my own. And if you can’t accept the face that I’m gay, let alone that I have a boyfriend…I’ll go. I’ll quit school and work so I can get a place. And maybe someday Lance can live with me. But for right now, I just love him.” Josh left the den.

Twenty-Five

When Josh came back upstairs, he saw that Lance’s bedroom door was closed. “Lance?” He called, knocking. “Lance, it’s me.”

“Go away, Josh.”

Josh stared at the door. “Lance, c’mon. I was gonna go for a drive…I need to cool off. Come with me.”

“I don’t really feel like it.”

“Lance…” Josh could hear the tears in Lance’s voice.

“Look, Josh, for fuck’s sake, just go, okay?”

Josh frowned, hurt. Lance never swore, and definitely never swore at him. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.”

Lance stared at the door, listening to Josh’s voice on the other side. Thank God he was going away. Lance couldn’t face him…couldn’t face what he had done to Josh and his family. He had come between them…and it just wasn’t right. Lance rolled over on his bed, burying his face in the pillow as even more tears came.

“I hope you’re happy,” Josh snapped at his mother when he went into the kitchen for his keys.

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?” Karen asked.

“Lance has locked himself in his room. And he’s crying. And even I can’t get him to open up. Thanks a lot, Mom. Like his self-esteem wasn’t bad enough to begin with.” Josh angrily slammed the door to the garage. Karen looked over at Roy, who was at the table drinking a cup of coffee. He shrugged.

Someone knocked on the bedroom door. Lance rolled over, eyes puffy. “I told you, Josh, I don’t feel like going for a drive.”

“Lance, it’s not Josh. It’s Karen.”

Lance sat up suddenly, wiping at his face. He slowly stood, then went to open the door. “Hi.” He scuffed his toe on the carpet.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course. It’s your house.” Lance moved aside and Karen walked in. She closed the door, and he went to sit on the bed. Karen slowly sat down beside him. She gently put her hand on his chin.

“Lance, look at me.” Lance slowly raised his head and she sighed at the puffy cheeks, puffier eyes, and trembling lips. She wanted to hate him, wanted to hate this proof of what she didn’t want to believe about her son…but the mother in her took over. “Oh, Lance, please don’t cry.”

“I just…I’m sorry, Mrs. Chasez, I didn’t mean for you to see that. I didn’t mean to come between you and Josh. He loves you guys so much,” Lance stammered.

“Lance…” Karen pulled until Lance’s head was on her shoulder. He cried in her arms. “You didn’t come between us. We’re fine. We’ll all get through this.”

“But things will never be the same,” Lance said. “You’re disappointed in him.”

“Lance, I’ve known Josh was gay for quite a while now. Seeing you two, though, it just shocked me, and it’s not an easy thing to accept. But if I want to keep my son, I’ll have to accept it.”

Lance pulled away. “What exactly did Josh say?”

“He said that if we can’t accept him, or you being with him, that he’ll move out.”

“No.” Lance’s eyes were huge. “He can’t do that. Not for ME!”

“Joshua loves you, Lance. Very much. I’ve never seen him care for someone this way. NEVER,” Karen told him. “We don’t quite understand it…the way he can feel about another man. But we do understand why he feels it for you.” Karen smiled. “You’re a very good boy, Lance, a fine young man. It’s just…you ARE young, and you ARE a man. That’s hard for us.”

“I never thought he’d even notice me,” Lance whispered. “At camp, he kinda became my hero…but I thought he was just being nice. Then I found out this year that he liked me…and I really like him.”

“Really like him?”

“I love him…at least as much as I can know how to love someone,” Lance said with a shrug. “As Josh likes to keep pointing out, I’m only fifteen, so I don’t know all that much about relationships and stuff like that…but I know I love being with him, love talking to him, love just hanging out with him. I miss him like crazy when we’re not together.”

Karen sighed. “Lance, please don’t think that we hate you. We don’t. Please don’t think that we’re angry with Joshua. We’re not. We…just need some time to get used to it all, okay?”

“I love your son, Mrs. Chasez,” Lance said earnestly.

“I know you do, Lance. And he loves you, too.” Karen gave him a small smile. “And don’t call me that.”

“Right. Karen,” Lance corrected himself.

“His father has a harder time dealing with all of this. He has been pushing Josh for ages to do his music…yet he has difficulty understanding why Josh isn’t athletic and macho like other boys his age. He knows where Joshua’s talents lie, and pushes him to use them to the best of his ability…yet he still wishes, I think, that Josh was a quarterback or something.”

“Josh could never play football!” Lance said in horror. “He’d get crushed!”

Karen laughed. “My sentiments exactly. Just…if Roy seems a little cold to you, I assure you it’s nothing personal. You’re just a reminder that Josh isn’t exactly what Roy had hoped for in his son.”

“Josh is amazing,” Lance said almost angrily. “Anyone would be proud to have him as their son.”

“We are proud. We love him. And we care about you, too, Lance. I promise.” Karen stood. “Now, clean yourself up for when Joshua gets back. His anger usually doesn’t last long.” Lance nodded and wiped at his nose.

Twenty-Six

Josh was gone for almost an hour. After about twenty minutes, Lance was tired of waiting, and asked Karen if there was anything she needed him to do around the house. She looked out the window.

“Well…I’ve been after Josh and Roy to clean those leaves up in the garden, and they always seem to find an excuse to get out of doing it.”

“That’d be fine.” Lance pulled on his coat.

“You’ll find a rake and trash bags in the shed,” she told him. Lance went out the back door just as Roy walked into the kitchen.

“Where’s he going?”

“Out to do the yard work you and Josh refuse to do,” Karen told him.

Roy blushed slightly. “He trying to kiss up?”

Karen whirled around. “Roy Chasez, you listen to me! That boy loves our son. Loves him with every part of himself. Isn’t that what we’ve always wished for him? What does it matter what form the love comes in?”

“You have to agree, Karen, you’d MUCH prefer to see Josh with a girl,” Roy said angrily. “If he stays with this…infatuation…you’ll never get your grandchildren.”

“So what?” Karen retorted. “Yes, I want grandchildren. Yes, I would like to see Joshua with a girl. No, I don’t quite understand how he can love another man. But he’s happy, Roy. Can’t you see that? Josh will never be the son you dreamt of…but he still is your son.”

“I know,” Roy sighed. “I just…wish things were different.”

“Don’t let Josh know that, Roy. All it will do is push him away,” Karen said, watching Lance slowly walk through the backyard.

Josh hung his coat up and went towards the stairs. “He’s not up there,” Roy said from the living room. Josh slowly walked back.

“Where is he?” Josh asked almost fearfully.

“Out back…doing yard work,” Karen said with a smile. Josh’s mouth fell open.

“You made him do chores?”

“No, Joshua. He asked for something to do. He was worried,” Karen said. “Go back there and talk to him.”

“Joshua,” Roy said. “Wait a second.” Josh leaned in the doorway. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I’ll never quite understand how you can feel the way you do…about Lance…but I know you love him, and that he really cares about you. And I’m damn proud of the way you’ve turned out. I’m glad you’re my son.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Josh whispered. Roy gave him a small smile and Josh slowly walked to the back door.

Lance was struggling with the last of the garbage bags. Josh trotted across the yard. “Let me help you.” He held the bag as Lance tied it shut.

“Thanks.” Lance and Josh put the bags into the garbage.

“Thank YOU for doing my chore,” Josh said with a small smile.

“No problem.” Lance looked at his shoes.

“Lance, I’m sorry,” Josh whispered. “I’m sorry you were so upset, that you couldn’t talk to me.”

“Your mom talked to me,” Lance said, finally looking up. “She seems to be trying to understand now.”

“I think my dad is, too,” Josh said. “It’s weird…but good.”

“Yeah.”

“Lance, I still love you,” Josh said quietly. “That will never change. It doesn’t matter how many years or miles are between us. I love you. And when the time is right, I want you to move in with me. I want to be with you.”

“That’s like two years away, Josh,” Lance reminded him. “I can’t possibly tell my parents before I’m out of school and on my own. They’ll never understand.”

“Then we’ll wait,” Josh said. “I’m gonna wait for you, Lance. You wait and see.”

Lance glanced at the house. “I love you,” he said softly. Josh smiled.

“I love you, too.” He gave Lance a quick kiss.

“Do you have everything, Lance?” Karen asked as they walked Lance to his gate.

“Yes, ma’am. My ticket’s here, my money’s safe in my wallet,” Lance said. “Thank you. For everything.”

“We hope to see you in the spring,” Karen said, hugging Lance long and hard. “And if your parents give you any trouble about it, you call me and I’ll tell them how much we love having you.”

“Thank you,” Lance whispered, squeezing her tight. He turned to Roy. “Sir…thank you for having me.” He held out his hand.

“You’re welcome.” Roy took the hand, then pulled Lance into a hug.

Lance turned to Josh. “So…I guess I’ll see you in a few months.”

“Yeah,” Josh said sadly. “Call me when you’re home.”

“I will.” They hugged, and kissed each other subtly on the neck. “I love you,” Lance whispered.

“Love you, too.” Josh squeezed once, then let Lance go.

Twenty-Seven

Two and a half years later

“Lance!”

“Josh!” Lance ran over to hug him, trying not to trip over his graduation gown. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Congratulations.” Josh hugged Lance hard.

“Karen, Roy…I’m so glad to see you,” Lance said, shaking Roy’s hand and hugging Karen.

“You act like it’s been years instead of months, Lance,” Karen said with a laugh. “You were just in Maryland last summer.”

“I know…it feels like forever, though,” Lance said, smiling at Josh. Josh had done an internship in Italy over the fall and winter semesters. He had changed his major to art history with a minor in music, and the internship was a dream come true for him.

“Mom, Dad, these are Lance’s parents…Diane and Jim Bass,” Josh said, introducing his parents to Lance’s parents. Josh had been able to visit Lance the summer after Lance had spent the first Christmas in Maryland, and he liked Lance’s parents. He found them slightly strict, but he tried his best to get along with them.

“I’m so glad to finally meet you,” Karen said. “Josh has told me so many nice things…and I knew you had to be nice, to raise a fine boy like Lance.”

“Yes, we’re very proud of James,” Diane said, beaming at her son. Lance blushed.

“So, uh, let’s go get dinner!” He quickly unzipped the gown, eager to cool off.

“I have so much to tell you,” Josh said, linking arms with Lance as they went to return the gown.

“Me, too,” Lance said, enjoying the feeling of Josh’s arm against his body.

“Won’t you come back to our house to visit for a while?” Jim Bass asked as he signed the bill for their dinner. “I hate to just send you back to that boring hotel.”

“That’d be fine,” Roy said, exchanging a look with Josh. “Lance, would you ride with us to give us directions?”

“Of course,” Lance said. He followed Josh and his parents to their car. As soon as they crawled into the backseat, he reached for Josh’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked.

“Yes…no…I don’t know.” Lance sighed. “I need to tell them. They already know that I’ve applied to your school and been accepted…they know we’re best friends and they think that’s why I want to go there. But I haven’t told them that I’m not living on campus…and I haven’t told them I love you.”

“We’ll help in any way we can,” Karen promised. She and Roy had grown to love Lance like their own son, and the fact that he and Josh had stayed together for over two years said a lot about their relationship.

“Okay. Here goes nothing,” Lance said as they reached his driveway.

They settled into the family room and made small talk. The conversation fell into a moment of silence, and Lance moved to sit next to Josh on the couch. Josh instinctively reached over for Lance’s hand, and Diane’s eyes widened.

“Mama…Dad…I have to tell you something.” Lance took a deep breath. “I want to be honest with you about something that I’ve been covering up for about four years now.”

“James…” Diane said.

“Please, Mama,” Lance said, unaware that he was reverting to his childhood name for her. “Mama…I need to tell you about me and Josh. We’re not just friends, Mama. We’re in love. We’ve been in love since I was fifteen, at camp. And we’ve been together, in a relationship, ever since. I’m moving in with him at school, in his apartment.”

“You will do no such thing, James Lance!” Karen shouted.

“You perverted, sick bastard!” Jim said to Josh. “You seduced our son!”

“Dad…” Lance said, jumping to his feet.

“Jim, don’t say something you’ll regret,” Roy warned.

“Dad, stay out of this,” Josh told him quietly. He stood also, meeting Jim’s gaze. “I’m not sick, and I’m not perverted. And I most definitely did not seduce your son. I love him. He’s an amazing man. I’ve watched him grow from a sweet, innocent boy into an intelligent, incredible man…and I’ve only grown to love him more.”

“This is just wrong. James, you’ve gone to church your whole life…don’t you know this is wrong?” Jim asked.

“Dad, I know the teachings of the church say homosexuality is wrong, but the God I believe in wants us to love and be loved and live a good life…I’ve tried my best to do all those things. And I love Josh.” Tears welled up in Lance’s eyes. “I’ve had to wait all this time…because I wasn’t old enough to be out on my own. But now I am old enough…and if you can’t accept me, or Josh, or our relationship…then I’ll just have to leave.”

“You’re welcome in our home,” Karen whispered. Jim glared at her.

“You approve of this?”

“We don’t approve or disapprove, Jim. We try to understand. We’ve seen them together, seen how happy they are. That’s what we’ve always wanted for Joshua…and if he’s found it in Lance, then we have to deal with it.” Josh smiled gratefully at his mother.

“I think I’ve always known,” Diane said quietly, and Lance stared at her. “Since that first time we picked you up at camp. I saw the way you two acted…and I think I might have known before you did.” She smiled sadly at her husband. “Jim, you’ve always wondered why Lance never went out on dates, why he took his best female friend to the Prom…didn’t you ever consider this?” Jim opened his mouth and shut it. “I think you did…but you couldn’t believe it was true.” Diane looked at Lance. “James, I’m disappointed. I won’t lie. And I think it’s wrong in many many ways. Don’t expect me to be comfortable with it for a long time, if ever. But you’re my baby. And I won’t lose you over something like this.”

“Mama,” Lance whispered, throwing himself into her arms. He towered over her, and she kissed his chest.

“My baby,” she repeated.

Josh sighed with relief, watching Jim’s face. “We’re not kicking you out, James,” he finally said. “But I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Just tell me you love me, Dad,” Lance said in a quiet voice.

“I do,” Jim said gruffly, hugging Lance as well.

The End

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