Crowded

By: Lara

“You guys do realize how much I don’t want to be here, right?” Lara sighed as she jabbed the button for the elevator.

“I thought you were only afraid of Ferris wheels…not elevators,” Julie said, adjusting her skirt.

“Ha ha you’re so funny.” Lara stuck her tongue out at her friend. “I meant HERE. In Florida.”

“Um, hello, do you realize what you just said? You said you didn’t want to be in FLORIDA,” Jenn pointed out. “This is Florida. It’s like seventy-five freaking degrees and it’s almost the end of November. You COULD be at home. Where it’s forty. And cold. And windy.”

“Yeah,” Lara muttered, scuffing her shoe on the carpet.

“Lara…we understand, okay? You lost someone you loved very much. He was your best friend besides being your husband,” Stacey said sympathetically. “But it’s been almost a year.”

“Please don’t say you understand, because you don’t.” Lara stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button for the ground floor. “But I appreciate it. And I’ll try to have a good time, okay? For you.”

“No.” Julie gave her a hug. “For YOU.”

“You are kidding me.” Jenn looked over the railing, her hazel eyes disgusted. “We pay all that money for THIS? To be stuck up here like freaking cattle?”

“I think I just saw Lance’s hair!” Stacey yelled.

“And that’s ALL we’ll see.” Julie pulled away from the railing. “Well, at least we had good seats at the basketball game.”

“And we had good seats at the concert,” Lara pointed out.

“Yeah…but I WAS hoping to be closer when Lance got his freak on on the dance floor,” Jenn grumbled as they went to the bar.

Stacey laughed out loud. “Honey, you just keep dreaming. I don’t think Lance knows HOW to get his freak on.”

“I could show him,” Jenn said quickly.

They ordered drinks and stood around a small table near the railing. They talked as their eyes wandered down to the VIP floor, where the dance floor was packed. Julie suddenly grabbed Jenn’s arm. “Look! There’s Chris!”

“Where?” Jenn craned her neck, trying to see. “Oh…there…he looks hot.”

“Yeah,” Julie said, sighing happily.

“Damn elves,” Stacey grumbled.

“There.” Lara pointed to a corner of the bar. “There’s Lance.”

“Cool!” Stacey leaned over the railing to get a better look. Lara finished her drink.

“I need to use the ladies room, girls. I’ll be right back…if I can find it!” Lara grabbed her purse and wove through the crowd.

She carefully picked her way down the steps and followed the signs to the ladies room. She came back out and was totally lost. There were three different hallways, one of which led to the stairway. She hadn’t been paying attention, however, and wasn’t sure which way to go. She caught sight of a waiter that looked familiar and decided to follow him back up. He went down the hallway to the left, Lara on his heels. He pushed through a swinging door and she stepped through behind him. She froze, realizing she was on the VIP floor. She had gotten in through a service entrance and no one had stopped her. Lara realized that she was about fifteen feet from the bar, and decided she needed a drink. What the hell. What could they do besides kick her back upstairs? She took two steps and froze. Sitting at the end of the bar, nursing a beer, was JC Chasez.

“Holy shit,” she whispered. He looked gorgeous, as usual. She felt her knees quiver, then mentally slapped herself. “He is just a person. That’s all.” She took a deep breath, tugged at her short skirt, and walked over to the bar. “Excuse me, JC?”

He turned his head to look at her. “Yes.”

“Hi…um, I don’t mean to bother you, but I just wanted to tell you that you guys write and sing some great music. I know you didn’t write it…but “This I Promise You” was the one song my husband and I danced to at our wedding.”

“Really? That’s cool,” he said, smiling. The smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Anyway…um…I just wanted to tell you that. And thanks…you know…for writing and doing everything you do.” Lara turned away from him and waited for the bartender to notice her.

“So…is your husband here?” JC asked. Lara turned back to him, her smile faltering.

“No. He…well…he died last year.”

“Shit. I’m really sorry.” JC lightly touched her arm. “Really.”

“It’s okay.” She tried to shrug. “My friends dragged me down here for this weekend and…I mean…not like they had to drag me or anything. Oh, hell.” Lara blushed and wanted to hide under the bar. He grinned, a sincere smile this time.

“I understand. Where are you from?”

“Pennsylvania. I’m here with three friends. One’s from Canada, one’s from Colorado, and one from Massachusetts.”

“Damn. Spread out.” JC waved his empty bottle and the bartender miraculously appeared. “Another. And this young lady will have…”

“A Blue Hawaiian,” Lara told the bartender. He nodded and walked away. “How’d you get him over here so quick?”

“Must be my good looks,” JC joked. “So…how’d you meet all these people?”

Lara blushed again. “I don’t think you want to know.”

“Oooh. A secret.” JC leaned closer. “I won’t tell. Are you some sort of NSYNC fan Mafia or something?”

Lara laughed, something she no longer did very often. “Um, well, yeah but no. We…well…some of us write fan fiction about you guys, and some of us read it.”

“Oh really?” JC raised an eyebrow. “Which do you do?”

“Both?” She said in a small voice and he grinned.

“I’ve read some of that stuff. I don’t know quite how to take it. Do you write the smutty stuff or the teenybopper stuff?”

“The smutty stuff,” she said in a smaller voice and he laughed out loud.

“Okay, I think she fell in,” Julie announced. “She goes to the bathroom faster then anyone I know.”

“Well, maybe she…” Stacey grabbed Jenn. “Oh my GOD. Look down at the bar…on the far end!”

“That’s Lara,” Jenn said.

“That’s JC CHASEZ!” Julie almost screamed.

“And she’s talking to him! How’d she get down there?” Stacey gasped.

“Damn,” Jenn said weakly.

Lara and JC chatted for a few more minutes, with JC asking most of the questions. She took the last few sips of her drink. “Well…I should get back to my friends,” she said. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No problem.” JC looked at her for a moment. “So…how does one read your fan fiction?”

“Well…you can go to the webpage where it’s posted. My friends Stef and Julie post it for me.”

JC waved the bartender over and asked for a pen. He shoved a napkin at her. “Go for it.”

Lara hesitated, then wrote down the two webpage addresses. “You’re gonna hate me,” she told him. “Just prepare to be sick.”

“Okay,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And what if I wanna join this list where you met them?”

“You don’t want to join, JC.”

“But what if I did?”

“It’s a private list. You have to email me and I’ll approve you. Here’s my email…just put something in the email to let me know it’s really you.”

“I’ll do that,” JC said. He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” She slid off her barstool and he grabbed her arm.

“Wait. I don’t even know your name.”

“Lara,” she told him.

“Bye, Lara.”

“Bye, JC.” She shook his hand again and headed for the staircase.

“I KNOW you’re gonna tell us what the hell just happened down there!” Stacey almost screamed.

“I got lost coming back to the bathroom…I ended up down there…I went for a drink and we started talking,” Lara said calmly, though she was screaming on the inside.

“I don’t believe it.” Jenn shook her head. “Was he nice?”

“Yeah…really nice. Not at all conceited or anything,” she answered. “C’mon. I need another drink and we need to dance.” She took a shaky breath as they headed for the bar, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

Lara was halfway into her third drink, still trying to get over the fact that she had had an adult conversation with JC Chasez, when she heard a commotion near the stairwell. She stood on tiptoe, but couldn’t see over the crowd. Suddenly the room parted like the Red Sea, and she saw a large man walking towards her. He stepped aside and JC Chasez was smiling at her. “Hi.”

“Uh, hi,” she said weakly. Julie discreetly nudged her. “Um, JC, this is Julie, and Jenn, and Stacey.”

“Hi.” He shone his smile on them for a moment and looked back at her. “So…no dance floor up here.”

“No,” Lara said. “There isn’t.”

“Wanna come down and dance? I saw you bopping at the railing earlier.”

“I…uh…can my friends come?”

“Of course. C’mon.” JC led the way. The girls exchanged excited glances and followed the bodyguard.

“Tell me I’m dreaming. Tell me it’s soon gonna change to me naked onstage or something, and then I’ll wake up,” Lara murmured to Jenn.

“If you’re naked and JC’s involved, PLEASE tell me you don’t dream about being onstage!” Jenn said. Lara smacked her.

The dance floor was crowded, but JC grabbed Lara by the hand and shoved his way through. She had no choice but to dance up close to him. “Okay…this is unreal,” she finally said, laughing. “If someone asked me what one thing I could do with JC Chasez, dancing like this would have definitely been number one on the list!”

He laughed. “Well, I’m glad I could grant your wish.”

“I cannot believe that our friend is dirty dancing with JC Chasez. Dammit, where’s my camera!” Stacey whined.

“Look…look…” Jenn poked Stacey in the side as Lance walked over to say something to JC. They watched JC politely introduce him to Lara. Lance smiled and shook her hand. Jenn and Stacey sent Lara all kinds of dagger looks until they saw her say something to JC. He turned slightly and saw the girls standing a few feet away. He grinned and brought Lance over.

“Ladies…this is Lance. Lance this is…Julie…Stacey…and Jenn, right?”

“Yes,” Julie said calmly. “Hi, Lance.” She shook his hand and pretended like she didn’t care.

“Hey, it’s great to meet you,” Lance said, shaking the hands of Jenn and Stacey. He turned back to JC. “So…I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah…bright and early.” JC rolled his eyes. “Later.”

“Bye. Bye, ladies.” Lance gave them a kind smile and melted back into the crowd.

“Look, if you want to dance with someone else, you know, you don’t have to dance with me,” Lara said to JC. He looked at her strangely.

“Who else should I be dancing with?”

“I don’t know…I…I thought maybe you had like a date or something,” she said nervously. “Like some famous person.”

JC rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. No date. I’m here alone. And I want to dance. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lara smiled over her shoulder at her friends as JC dragged her back to the dance floor.

“Okay, that is the happiest I’ve seen her in AGES,” Jenn observed.

“Hello, wouldn’t YOU be happy if Joshua Chasez was grinding his sexy self against you?” Julie pointed out. Jenn sighed and nodded.

Lara’s world was spinning and she wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or not. All she knew was that she could only focus on JC’s blue eyes. He smiled down at her, his hands light on her waist. She stumbled slightly and blushed. “God…I must be drunk or something…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Did you want another drink?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Lara placed her hands on his shoulders. “I think I’ve had enough.”

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

Lara froze. “Are you serious?”

“Sure…you staying here?” She nodded. “We’re not. If you don’t want to…you know…”

“Uh…let me talk to them, okay?”

“Sure.” JC smiled. “I’ll meet you at the bar.” He walked to her friends. “Ladies, it’s been a pleasure. You’ll be at the carnival tomorrow?” They nodded as one. “Cool. See you then.” He headed for the bar.

“He’s leaving?” Julie asked. Lara nodded, biting her lip.

“Uh…he wants me to go with him.”

“Are you serious?” Stacey gasped.

“Yes. Should I go?”

“Fuck yes you should go!” Jenn almost yelled.

“Here’s the extra key.” Julie shoved a keycard into Lara’s hand. “GO.”

“Okay,” Lara said. She sighed. “I think I’m just drunk enough to go along with this.” She turned and headed for the bar.

“So…is this goodbye?” JC asked as Lara approached the bar.

“No…not yet, anyway,” she said shyly. His smile lit up his face.

“Cool. Let’s roll.” He took her hand and motioned to a bodyguard. They followed the man out a side door to a waiting limo.

“Wow. I could get used to this.” Lara ran a hand over the soft seat. “Limos and everything.”

“Yeah…it’s pretty cool.” JC looked at her. “Do I scare you?”

“Well…not really,” she said, alcohol making her brave. “I guess it’s the idea of you, which is wrong, since you’re just a person like me. Well…a person who’s sexier, more talented, and richer than me…but otherwise just like me.”

JC laughed. “I don’t know…I think you’re kinda sexy…I don’t know if you’re talented though.” He inched closer and put an arm around her shoulders.

Lara blushed. “Well, you’re definitely richer than me…so if you’re after me for my money, you have another thing coming.”

JC let loose with the giggle that she adored. “I’d hate to get you and Chris together…you two would be hysterical.”

She snapped her fingers. “Damn. He’s richer than me, too.”

JC did nothing but keep his arm around his shoulders until they reached the hotel where NSYNC was staying. He helped her out of the limo, and they slipped in through a side entrance. They took the elevator upstairs, and JC slid the keycard through the lock. “Home sweet home…for the weekend, anyway.” He stepped aside and let Lara walk in first.

“Holy hell.” She turned around slowly. “I think this suite is bigger than my HOUSE.”

“Do you want another drink?” JC headed for the minibar.

“No…that’s okay, thanks.” Lara wandered over to the balcony doors. “I think I’m good.”

“I’m gonna have one, if you don’t mind.”

Lara shrugged. “Whatever.” She reached up to the chain at her neck and nervously played with it. JC soon stood next to her.

“We could go out on the balcony if you wanted,” he suggested.

“Okay,” she agreed, and he opened the door. She leaned on the railing and he stood beside her. She felt his hand on her back and jumped.

“Relax…I won’t bite you,” he teased gently.

“I know.” Lara toyed with the chain again. “I…it’s been a while.”

“I understand,” he whispered. “What’s this?” He reached to her throat and touched the chain. She shivered as his finger touched her skin.

“I…uh…my wedding ring,” she whispered. “I had it melted down and made into this chain.”

“Wow,” JC whispered. “He must’ve been something special.”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling at him. “But we don’t need to talk about him.”

“I don’t mind,” he insisted. He took her hand and led her to the small loveseat near the door. “Tell me.”

“He was my best friend…for years…and we hooked up…and then he was killed at work…an accident…” A tear slid down her cheek and JC gently wiped it away. “I’m sorry…it’s fine some days and then others it isn’t…they keep telling me that I should move on, you know, because it’s been over a year.”

“You can’t put a time frame on missing someone,” JC said gently.

“Yeah,” she said slowly. “Yeah. You’re right. I like that. I’m gonna make little business cards that say that, and hand them out whenever someone gets on my nerves.” Lara smiled at him. “Thanks, JC.”

“You’re welcome.” JC pushed some hair from her face, then leaned in to kiss her.

Lara allowed the kiss, welcoming the feeling of someone’s lips against hers. She sighed as she felt his long fingers weave through her hair, and she could only hold on to his shoulders as he slowly leaned her back onto the seat. His tongue lightly touched hers, then his lips slid down to her neck. She felt JC’s hand slide from her knee up to her skirt and back down again, then he slid the hand under her skirt. She moaned, her body unconsciously arching up towards him. “JC…” she whispered.

“Let’s go inside.” JC pulled away and held out a hand. She took it and they went inside. Before she could stop him, JC led Lara to the bedroom. He closed the door and pulled her into his arms. She sighed once more. It had been so long. His kisses were insistent as he began to slowly unbutton her blouse.

“Whoa. Wait.” She sat down on the edge of the bed, running a hand through her hair. “This is fast.”

“I’m sorry…I just…” JC sat next to her and began to kiss her once more. She pushed him again.

“No…JC…no.” She stood and looked at him. “I’m sorry. This is too fast and too soon. I know you can get any girl you want. I know you can have sex every freaking DAY if you want to…but not tonight. Not with me.” She smiled wryly. “You learn fast…find out what will make a girl think you care, and you use it.”

“It wasn’t like that!” JC jumped to her feet.

“I’m lonely, and I miss having someone. But I can’t do this…for too many reasons. Thank you, JC, for making me feel wanted again, even if it was just a plot to get me into bed. Goodbye.” Lara went into the living room, grabbed her purse, and left the suite.

Lara wearily allowed herself into the suite the four women were sharing. It was only after she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the sofa that she allowed herself to cry.

“Lara?” She looked up at the sound of Stacey’s sleepy voice.

“Yeah, it’s me. Go back to bed, Stace. I’ll be in. Sorry I woke you.” Lara wiped at her eyes.

“No…it’s okay.” She sat down next to Lara, squinting in the darkness. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Lara said, sniffling. Stacey put an arm around her.

“Lara, did he hurt you? Did JC Chasez hurt you?”

“No…not really,” Lara said, beginning to sob. Stacey pulled Lara’s head onto her shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Julie said sleepily, padding out on bare feet.

“JC did something to Lara,” Stacey answered.

“What?” Julie was wide awake now. She flipped on the light and both Lara and Stacey blinked hard. “Sorry.” Julie sat on Lara’s other side. “What happened?”

“Nothing…nothing at all,” Lara insisted. Jenn appeared as well.

“Hey, all. Why aren’t you with JC? I thought you’d stay the night,” Jenn said. Lara sniffled and Stacey glared at Jenn. “What?”

“He wanted me to stay…at least for a while. He tried…I mean, we kissed and everything…but I wasn’t ready for that. I pushed him away and I left. He wasn’t violent or anything. He…he just was so NICE, you know? Asking me about what happened with…you know…and just being sweet and kind…and then he was like kinda pouncing on me.”

“Did he try to force you?” Julie asked.

“Well, no…it’s just…I shoulda known it would have ended up like that. I just…I feel guilty…like I led him on.”

“You have the right to say no,” Stacey reminded her.

“Yeah, I know,” Lara sighed. She smiled. “I never thought I’d have the guts to say no to sex with JC Chasez.”

Jenn laughed. “I for one am quite impressed.”

Lara giggled. “My work here is done.” She sighed again and laid her head back down on Stacey’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna go tomorrow…to the carnival. I’m gonna sightsee or something until my flight is ready to go.”

“Lara…you can’t let him do this to you,” Jenn exclaimed.

“It’s not that. I just…I’d feel weird. Like if I saw him. I just…I know there will be ten zillion people there, but I can’t, okay?”

“If it’s what you want,” Julie said slowly.

“It is.” Lara took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to will the tears back.

“Look. There he is. In the dunk tank.” Julie grabbed Jenn’s arm.

“God, I’d give anything to just bean him in the damn head with a softball,” Jenn growled.

“I wish Lara was here to do it,” Stacey said, and Julie smiled.

“She’d be too nice. Even if he TOLD her to throw a ball at his head, she wouldn’t do it.”

“I’m gonna dunk his sorry ass.” Jenn headed for the booth.

“Jenn! Hey!” JC called. “Hi, Julie. Hi, Stacey.”

“Hello, JC.” Jenn handed over her money. Her first ball was too high.

“Where’s Lara?”

“We don’t know. She refused to come today.” Her second ball was low.

“Refused? Is she okay?” JC looked shocked.

“No, you ass.” Jenn let her third ball fly and JC sank down into the cold water. He jumped up, whipping his hair out of his eyes.

“My turn.” Stacey let her money fall into the operator’s hand. “Get him ready.”

“Nothing happened!” JC exclaimed.

“You’re JC Chasez of NSYNC. You don’t have to explain to us.” Stacey’s ball hit the target on the first try.

JC came up gasping for air. “Tell her I’m sorry, okay?”

“Tell her yourself,” Julie snapped. “Oh, that’s right. She never wants to talk to you again. Not that you care. Come on, guys.” The three women walked away, leaving JC shivering in confusion.

“Hi, guys! Mama’s home…finally,” Lara muttered, letting herself into her empty house. The cats, Harley and Molly, greeted her eagerly, rubbing up against her shins. She laughed and dropped her suitcases, allowing the cats to climb up and rub against her face. “Miss me? Yeah, I know. I missed you, too. Life is actually less complicated at home.” The older cat, Harley, soon wandered off in search of kitty entertainment, but Molly stayed to rub her nose against Lara’s cheek. “I met JC Chasez, Molly! I met him…and kissed him…and walked out of his suite.” Lara had to laugh out loud. “Is that crazy or what?”

She finally got up and lugged her suitcases upstairs to unpack. She checked her machine, of course no one called. Once everything was put away, she went to check her email. She had forgotten to place her accounts on no mail, sot he mailbox was full. She waded through it, deleting what she knew was junk, and then finally concentrating on the mail she wanted to read. She separated the fiction, saving it for later. She read emails from friends, laughed at one from Julie, who had emailed as soon as she got home. Apparently they had run into JC, and let him know that he was a “low-life loser”, in Julie’s words. Lara smiled. Nothing like good girlfriends. She got to the last email, which had arrived right before her plane had landed. She didn’t recognize the name.

“TheLyricalOne at hotmail dot com,” Lara read out loud as Harley jumped up into her lap. “Hmmm.” She opened the email hesitantly.

FROM: TheLyricalOne@hotmail.com

TO: zebraljb@aol.com

SUBJECT: Blue Hawaiians

Lara,

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me…but it’s JC. You said for me to say something in an email that would let you know it was really me and not some weirdo. Well, I’m a weirdo…an asshole weirdo, apparently, but I want to join your list. Um…here you go. Don’t forget to get those business cards made up. They have to say, “You can’t put a time frame on missing someone,” remember?

Anyway, I’d like to talk to you, please email me back. I think there was some major miscommunication in my suite. I wanted you, I thought you wanted me. In no way was I trying to play you, or use you. Please believe me.

Oh, and a few friends want to join your list, too. Their addresses are StinkyFroBoy@hotmail.com, ck1isfun@hotmail.com, and gimpyfatjoe@hotmail.com, okay? I’m sure you can guess who it is, but I’ve seen some fan’s email addies; no one should know.

Email me if you’d like.

JC

Lara stared at the email, looked down at Harley, then back at the computer. “Harley,” she whispered, holding the cat up to look at the monitor. He meowed in protest. “Harley, JC emailed me. JC emailed me and wants to join the fucking list!” She stared at the computer, then went offline and picked up the phone. “Julie…I need to talk to you!”

“Are you okay?” Julie asked, concerned. “Didn’t you just get home?”

“Yes…Julie…oh, shit…” Lara realized she couldn’t tell Julie. Not about the list. JC had given her those email addresses, trusting her not to reveal them. “I got an email from JC,” she said finally.

“JC CHASEZ?” Julie almost screamed.

“Yes, how many JCs do you know?” Lara asked, laughing. “Yeah…he emailed and said that there was miscommunication…and that he wasn’t playing me.”

“Whoa.” Julie paused. “Glad Jenn didn’t bean him in the head, then. Are you gonna email him back?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Lara said. “I need to think about it first.”

And she did think about it. It was all she COULD think about. She thought about it while soaking in the bathtub, thought about it while eating her dinner, and she definitely thought about it while trying to write. How could she write about him when he was ON her list? And, of course, the two stories she was working on BOTH involved JC. And they were BOTH slash. Well, she had warned him.

As she finished her chapter, another email came through from JC. She sighed and opened it.

Lara,

You didn’t reply, but you didn’t say you hate me, either. That’s a good sign, I guess. I see you approved us to your list. I’m eagerly awaiting a chapter or something from you. I guess I can check out that archive thing, right? Joey and Chris have eagerly attacked your fanfiction site…or should I say your friend’s fanfiction site. They like the NSYNC one…I guess that’s Julie’s? Justin is all about the other one…he’s laughing like an ass at some of the stories. We’re on a plane right now, heading for California. And we’re all on laptops…only Lance is doing something productive, though. He said we should forward him the good stuff. I had to laugh. I think I saw a story you wrote about me and him. THAT will freak him out. J

Hope you are okay and everything. I know how lonely an empty house can be.

JC

Lara sighed. She had no clue WHY he was still emailing her, though it was funny to read what he and his friends thought of the stories and the fans. She had thought about not approving him to the list, then decided what the hell. She knew they’d get a kick out of it. She bit her lip, then emailed back.

JC,

Yes, I got your emails. I’m glad you’re enjoying the sites and the list so far. California, huh? I’ve never been there. I hope you have a safe trip and that whatever you’re doing there goes well.

I’m not sure why you keep emailing me. You don’t have to, you know. You’re right, there was a big miscommunication in your suite. You could have any girl…I’m not sure why you want to stay in contact with me, though it was a nice surprise to see your name at the bottom of those emails. You were very kind and sweet to me, then suddenly things were moving SO fast…and I felt crowded. I’ve been with NO ONE for the last year almost, and with only one person for five years before that. I was feeling rushed…and I felt like you were trying to sweet talk me into bed. It was my birthday, and sex with you woulda been one helluva gift, but it’s not something I felt right doing. I apologize for leading you on.

Anyway…thanks for emailing.

Lara

The next day she had to return to work. Everyone asked about her trip, and she conveniently avoided mentioning who she had met. Everyone in her office knew about her “obsession” with NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys, but they thought it was funny and didn’t bother her too much about it. They also still felt sorry for her, and were just glad to see her involved in SOMETHING.

The day was long and hard, and she gratefully unlocked her back door. She saw a note taped on the glass and opened it. It was from her neighbor across the street, Kim. She walked over and knocked on the door.

“Lara. Hi. A delivery came for you today and I took it.” Kim headed into her living room. She came back with a vase of roses. Lara gasped.

“Wow! I…uh…thanks.” Lara checked to make sure HER name was on the card, and went back to her house. She sat down at the kitchen table and slowly opened the card.

“Please don’t think I’m stalking you, but I found your address in the phone book at the library. I hope you enjoy these flowers. And I don’t think I HAVE to send them. I wanted to. Love, JC Chasez.”

Lara buried her face in the flowers and tried to straighten her whirling mind. JC Chasez had sent someone to the freaking public LIBRARY to look up her address to send her FLOWERS. She wanted to be mad. She wanted to feel violated. But all Lara could do was grin and bury her face in the blossoms once more.

FROM: ck1isfun@hotmail.com

TO: zebraljb@aol.com

Hey!

My name’s…uh…well, I guess you know my name. Anyway, I just wanna say you people are crazy! Do you have nothing better to do then sit and drool over us? Actually…that’s kinda cool! Drool away!

JC gave me your email. Hope you don’t mind. I just wanted to say hey. Did you know him before, because he talks about you a lot.

FROM: gimpyfatjoe@hotmail.com

TO: zebraljb@aol.com

Hey…can you tell those girls that I LIKE my new hair and that no, I wasn’t trying to be like Justin? Or maybe I should tell them…yeah…I’ll post a message!

I like your stories. You’re good. Even the Backstreet ones. Just kidding

FROM: stinkyfroboy@hotmail.com

TO: zebraljb@aol.com

You think I have electric hips, huh? I never thought that way. Actually, JC has those hips…I just learned from him. But NOT the way you and your sicko list members think. Me and JC? Get real. He’s too bony. If I went that way…which I DON’T, I’d pick Joey. He’s comfy. And don’t ask how I know that!

Lara had to laugh out loud at Justin’s email. She still could NOT believe that she had emails from four of the five members of NSYNC in her inbox. They had all joined her list, and once or twice had commented on stories. For the most part, however, they kept quiet.

The ding of her instant messenger startled her. “BlueEyedLeo,” she read out loud. She clicked the box open. “JC,” she whispered, as she read the message. She typed back, then he replied. She typed again, he replied. She frowned, wondering why she was so nervous. She took a deep breath.

“Where are you?” She typed. “Busy? Why don’t you just call me?” She bit her lip and stared at the screen. There was no answer for a moment. “Really? That would be great,” she read out loud. “Give me your phone number. I’ll call on my cell.” She typed in her phone number and went offline. Then she stared at the phone. Five minutes later, it rang.

“Hello?” Lara answered anxiously.

“Lara…hi. It’s me. I mean, it’s JC.” He sounded nervous as well, and it made her smile.

“Hi, JC.” She laid back on the bed, snuggling down next to Harley. “How are you?”

“Good. Tired. We had this dumb photo shoot thing today…it was crazy. Chris was on liquid cocaine or something. I almost punched him.”

“Hey…I got an email from him. Joey and Justin, too.”

“Oh, God. If they start hounding you, I'll smack them around for you.”

Lara laughed. “No…it’s okay.” She paused. “So…why did you IM me?”

“Well…” JC seemed confused. “Because I wanted to talk to you. Is that a problem?”

“No…” Lara played with Harley’s tail. “I just…I don’t see why.”

“Lara, you’re a nice person. You’re a fan who didn’t get all fanatic on me. And I hurt you…and I feel bad.”

“It’s okay, JC, really. You don’t need to talk to me out of sympathy or something.”

“God, are you always this way?” JC asked almost angrily. “Are you so special you’d say no to getting a new friend?”

“No,” she whispered. He sighed.

“This is going all wrong. Let’s start over. Hello, Lara, this is JC. How are you?”

“Fine,” she said, giggling softly.

“The reason I wanted to talk to you was to see what you were doing next weekend.”

“Next weekend? Um…nothing. Why?”

“How far are you from New York?”

“New York City? About three or four hours by train.”

“Hmmm…wanna come up? We’ll be in town for this club opening thing Lance has going on…I’d like you to be my date.”

Lara paled. “Date?”

“Yeah…you know…I pick you up…tell you you look nice…hold your hand…hold the door for you…dance with you…” JC teased gently.

“I…well…I don’t have anything nice to wear for something like that.”

“We’ll work on that. Come up Friday and go shopping.”

“I…well…I have to work.”

“Lara, if you don’t want to, just say so.” JC’s voice dripped with disappointment.

“No! I do…I’m just shocked, that’s all.” She took a deep breath, playing with the ring at her throat. “Okay, JC. I’ll come up.”

Lara got off the plane in New York, clutching her backpack as if it were her lifeline. She anxiously looked around the crowded waiting area. JC had told her that someone would meet her. He had refused to let her take the train, insisting that she fly to New York, on him. The flight took less than an hour, and she hardly had time to worry about who would be meeting her.

“Lara?” A feminine voice said behind her. She whirled around. A short, pretty redhead stood behind her. “Hi…I’m Melissa. I’m one of the assistants that help out NSYNC. JC sent me for you?”

“Oh, hey, hi,” Lara said relieved.

“I have a car waiting out front. Your bag will be delivered to the hotel.” Melissa briskly walked out of the airport and Lara quickly followed. She squinted against the morning sun. It was late November, and it was still warm. “So…you’re going to the opening with JC, huh?”

“I guess so,” Lara said nervously.

“So, did you bring something to wear?”

“Not really…I was gonna go shopping today,” Lara told her. Melissa nodded and said nothing.

Lara stared in shock at the hotel. It was one of the finest in New York, as if she should have expected anything more. “JC said to send you on upstairs to his suite,” Melissa told her as they got out of the car.

“His suite?” Lara repeated.

“Yeah…they don’t come out much during the day,” Melissa said, smiling. “You have your own suite on the same floor. I think he has the key. He’s in sixteen-twelve.”

“Okay, thanks,” Lara said, shouldering her backpack. She took the elevator to the sixteenth floor, wondering what in the world she was doing. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door of sixteen-twelve.

“Hold on!” She heard a voice yell. She then heard a scuffling sound, and the door flew open. “Hello, there,” Chris Kirkpatrick said, eying her curiously. “Can I help you?”

“I…uh…I’m here to see JC Chasez,” Lara said, her voice shaking slightly.

“I’m sorry…he’s not available right now,” Chris said apologetically.

“I am too! Chris, shut the hell up!” Lara heard JC scream from the bedroom, then she heard his famous giggle.

“Um…” she said, blushing.

Chris took pity on her. “Come on in…it’s okay. Joey’s just attacking him.” Chris moved aside. “And you are?”

“Lara…JC invited me.”

“Lara. LARA? THE Lara? No way!” Chris gave her a hug. “Wow! I’m like a huge fan. I’ve read everything on your friend’s site!”

Lara blushed furiously. “You must’ve had a LOT of free boring time,” she said, smiling.

“Nope. I stayed up until like four one morning!” Chris turned towards the bedroom. “JOEY! Lara’s here!”

“What?” Joey yelled, running to the door of the bedroom. “Hey there!” Joey came over and gave her a hug. “I love your stories…especially the ones where Chris hooks up with everyone else but me.”

“Hey.” Chris poked him. “Don’t mind him. Didn’t take his meds again.”

“Hey.” JC appeared in the bedroom doorway, his hair standing every which way. He wore black pants and a light blue shirt and Lara thought he was beautiful. As usual.

“Hey,” she said. “Uh…that Melissa lady said you had a key for me?”

“Ready to go already?” He teased gently, handing her a keycard. Lara blushed.

“No…I just…wanted to get my stuff in there.” She motioned to her backpack and her laptop.

“Are you gonna write while you’re here?” Chris asked eagerly. She laughed.

“Do you really want me to write the truth? No one would know the difference…”

“But then everyone would know the TRUTH about Joey and Lance,” Chris admitted, thinking it over. Joey slapped the back of his head.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go eat. Nice meeting you, Lara.” Joey grabbed Chris by the ear and dragged him out of JC’s suite. JC and Lara just looked at each other.

“So…I thought you might like some company while you shopped, so I got someone to go with you,” JC told her. “She’ll be downstairs in an hour or so. I have a lunch interview to do,” he said apologetically. “I’ll be done around three.”

“It’s okay,” she said with a sigh. “I know you’re busy.”

JC took her hand and led her to the sofa. “I’m really glad you’re here. I want us to start over again, where I’m not acting like a dickhead.”

“You weren’t a dickhead,” she told him. “I just…I get this crowded feeling sometimes…like everything’s pressing in on me and I can’t think or reason. I guess me freaking out was a defense mechanism.”

“Don’t explain. I understand.” JC leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Let’s just use this weekend to get to know each other.”

“Okay,” she said with a small smile.

Lara went down to the lobby at eleven. Her shopping companion was supposed to be waiting for her. “A blond wearing purple,” was all JC would tell her. Lara froze in the lobby when she saw Britney Spears talking on a cellphone, wearing a purple jacket and purple shirt, and black jeans.

“I know…I’ll take good care of her, Justin. I promised JC. Yeah, I had to break some appointments, but he was hellbent on me showing her Fifth Avenue and all…and finding her something to wear,” Britney said. “I know…I wasn’t really into it, but it’ll be like showing around Cinderella.”

Lara did an about-face and headed back up to her suite. Tears streamed down her face. She knew Britney hadn’t mean to sound malicious, but she obviously did NOT want to go shopping. And Lara didn’t want to be treated like a poor relation. She called down to the lobby, asking them to give Miss Spears the message that Lara wasn’t feeling well, and would shop on her own later. Lara stared at the pile of bills JC had given her, then shoved them into her purse. She wouldn’t touch them unless she had to. She shopped alone all the time. She could handle this.

Four hours later, Lara was still wandering through Manhattan empty handed. She understood how Julia Roberts must’ve felt in “Pretty Women.” The salesgirls in the stores hadn’t given her a second glance, and when they did, it was a glance of disdain. Lara sat down on a bench near the hotel, staring at her shoes. Who was she trying to kid? Did she really think she could go on a date with JC Chasez? Go to this club opening and act like she belonged? She’d only make an ass out of herself. HE was the crazy one…flying her to New York, setting her up on a shopping date with Britney Spears. Britney, with her size six body and her gorgeous sexy boyfriend and her million dollar bank account. Like they would have had ANYTHING in common.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” A voice said.

“No, of course not. I…” She gasped. “Chris?”

“Yes. And this is Davey.” He motioned to the bodyguard behind him, who nodded. “What are you doing here?”

“Sitting and feeling sorry for myself,” she said honestly.

“I thought you were shopping with Britney.”

Lara blushed a bit. “Well…JC didn’t tell me I’d be shopping with HER. I mean, really. I can’t even shop in the same section of a store with her. We’re different sizes…different people. I’m sure she’s nice and all…but I called down and told them to tell her I was sick.”

“Did you end up getting something to wear?” Chris asked.

“No. I couldn’t go into a lot of the stores on Fifth Avenue…and the ones I did go into just weren’t me.” Lara shrugged. “I guess JC will go alone to this thing, and I’ll go back home where I belong.”

“No.” Chris stood and took her hand. “Consider me your Fashion Fairy Godfather. I will help you find something. We’ll look at some shops that AREN’T on Fifth Avenue…and we’ll find something to knock JC’s socks off. He’s already crazy about you.” Chris continued to hold her hand as they walked. “He talks about you a lot.”

“He’s only met me once, and then we…well…things didn’t end very good,” Lara confessed.

“Well, you made a good impression. Hey, hot dogs!” Chris said suddenly. He tugged Lara to a vendor. “Want one?”

“I thought you had a lunch interview,” Lara said.

“I did. I got out early, thank goodness. They stayed to eat the snotty grub. This is more my speed.” Chris paid and handed Lara a hot dog.

“Thank you. I didn’t eat,” she said. “Does he really talk about me?”

“A lot. Seriously,” Chris said, and she couldn’t help giggling. He rolled his eyes. “God. Another member of the JC Is Fabulous Fan Club.” He smiled. “C’mon. Let’s find you the perfect outfit.”

“Hello?” Chris slouched in a chair outside the dressing room. “Oh, hey, Jayce.”

“Hi, Chris. Um, I have the weirdest question. Do you…”

“Holy fuck!” Chris muttered under his breath as Lara came out of the dressing room. “Hold on, JC.” Chris sat his phone down.

Lara turned around in front of him. “I could never wear this, but I thought I’d try it on for fun.” She wore a short sparkling blue dress with a sheer black jacket overtop. “It’s too much, right?”

“No…it’s just enough.” Chris made a big show of licking his lips. “Buy it.”

“But Chris, it’s…”

“BUY it, or I’ll buy it for you, and then JC will kick my ass,” Chris told her. She blushed happily and danced back into the dressing room. “Sorry, JC. What did you want?”

“I wondered if you had seen Lara? It ends up she told Britney she was sick…but she’s not answering the phone in her suite.”

“She’s not in her suite.” Chris checked his watch. “Shit…I didn’t realize it was almost five. I’ll have her back in fifteen minutes, dude.”

“Lara’s with you?”

“Don’t ask. She can explain when she comes back. Bye.”

“Okay.” Lara came back out of the dressing room. “If I’m overdressed, I will kick your butt, Chris.”

“You won’t be overdressed. JC is gonna drool,” he promised her, grabbing the dress and heading for the register.

“Chris, wait! Let me pay for it!” Lara almost yelled.

“I got it. JC can pay me back later.”

“He gave me money.” Lara dug into the pile of money JC gave her. “I didn’t want to use it.”

“Hello, Lara, he offered to buy you a dress. JC doesn’t spend money on ANYONE,” Chris told her. “Not even himself.” Chris grabbed the money from her and slapped it on the counter.

Lara knocked on JC’s door. Her dress was safely put away in her closet. She just hoped Chris was right. “Hi.” JC didn’t smile as he let her in. “C’mon in.”

“How was your interview?”

“Okay.” JC shrugged. “Look, Lara, I think we need to get something out in the open. I don’t really appreciate you using me.”

“USING you?” Lara gasped.

“I mean, if you wanted Chris, you shoulda told me at the beginning.”

“I don’t want Chris!” Lara exclaimed.

“You spent all day with him,” JC said accusingly.

“Number one, I don’t remember your name being tattooed on my ass!” Lara said angrily. “Number two, I was alone and down and depressed. Chris found me and took me shopping. Thanks to him, I had a great time AND bought a dress that will knock you on your backside, thank you very much!”

“Why didn’t you shop with Britney?” JC asked a little more gently. “I thought it’d be fun for you to go shopping with her…two girls, shopping…”

“JC, I appreciate that.” Lara started to calm down as well. “But…Britney Spears? I’m just some dumb widow from Hershey, Pennsylvania. She’s way out of my league.”

“I don’t think about you that way.” JC took her hand. “You’re out of HER league.” He smiled at her. “I’m sorry if I offended you in any way. I’m glad you had fun with Chris.”

“I did. He’s crazy.” Lara smiled back.

“So. Dinner. Wanna call the guys or just have it be us?”

Lara thought for a moment. “Would you mind if it was just us? I’m sure I’ll be thrust into the NSYNC life tomorrow night at this shindig…I’d feel better just relaxing with you tonight.”

“I’m glad you said that. I only suggested going out with the others so you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Why don’t you go shower and relax a bit. I’ll meet you in an hour, in the hallway…dress comfy but casual, okay?”

“Okay.” Lara went back to her suite. She fell onto the bed, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Jenn.” Lara fell onto her back and sighed. “Guess where I am?”

“If you say in bed with Lance OR Chris, I will kick your ass.”

“No…I’m in bed, but alone. I shopped with Chris today, though.”

“Ha ha, you’re funny. Where are you REALLY?”

“I’m in New York City. I’m SUPPOSED to be getting ready for dinner with JC.”

“Lara…are you okay? You sound like you’re hallucinating.”

Lara laughed. “I’m really in New York, Jenn. I’m really going for dinner with JC. He invited me up for Lance’s club opening tomorrow night.”

“YOU’RE KIDDING!” Jenn shrieked. “Oh, man, that’s not FAIR!”

“I just thought I’d call and tell you,” Lara teased.

“Does Lance need a date?”

“I doubt it,” Lara said, “but I’ll keep you in mind if he needs one.”

“Okay, because I’ll be on the first plane out of Colorado if he needs me!”

They chatted a while longer, then Lara went to get ready.

“Hey. You look nice.” JC’s eyes ran over Lara’s black jeans and purple silk blouse. “VERY nice.”

“Wait until you see me tomorrow,” she teased gently. “Chris said you will drool.”

“Chris drools over anything capable of wearing a skirt, even Justin,” JC said, laughing. “I can’t wait to see your dress.”

“Where are we going?” Lara asked as they entered the elevator.

“There’s a cute little restaurant about ten blocks up. I figured we could walk, if you didn’t mind. It’s not TOO cold out.”

“Sure,” Lara said. The elevator doors opened and she recognized one of the bodyguards waiting for them. He discreetly fell into step a few yards behind them. “That must be weird.”

“Hmm?” JC held the door of the hotel for her.

“Having someone follow you like that all the time.” She motioned to the bodyguard.

“It’d be even weirder if he WASN’T there. For the most part the fans are cool, but you never know who’s gonna do what when.” JC took her hand and tucked it in the crook of his elbow. “Did you have a good time in Florida, besides when I practically attacked you?”

She smiled. “Yes. It was a birthday present. I turned twenty-nine around that time.”

“Really? An old lady,” he teased.

“Yeah, you’re so old at twenty-five.” She smacked him.

“Happy belated birthday,” he said, kissing her cheek. She blushed and said nothing.

The restaurant was perfect. They could sit in a dimly lit booth and talk without being disturbed. Lara saw JC’s bodyguard at a table nearby, but no one bothered them. She found herself answering all JC’s questions about herself as well as her late husband. He laughed a lot at her stories, and she was glad. “I was afraid you’d find out the truth, that I’m just some dork,” she said, and he laughed again.

“Have you SEEN the Mickey Mouse Club? I was King Dork,” he reminded her, sipping at his wine.

“But you’re not now. JC…I’m just a normal person,” Lara said softly. He picked up her hand and played with her fingers.

“And I’m not?”

“You are…but your lifestyle isn’t. That’s not your fault, I mean, it’s your job and everything. And you do it so well, I wouldn’t dream of you doing anything else…but I’m just…I don’t know how to act at club openings or things like that.”

“Can you dance?”

“Well, yeah,” Lara answered, surprised.

“Can you drink?”

“A little. I don’t do it often.”

“Can you have fun?”

“Yeah.” Lara looked at him strangely.

“Then you know how to act at a club opening. Just smile a lot, and if the press finds you…” JC thought for a moment. “We’ll tell them that you’re pregnant with Chris’ baby, are getting a divorce from Joey, and that now you’re shacking up with me.”

Lara laughed. “Seriously…what do you want me to say?”

“You and I are friends. We met in Orlando. That’s the truth, right?” JC asked. She nodded. “There you go.”

They took their time walking back, looking in store windows and talking. When they entered the elevator, JC put an arm around her waist. “So…um…do you wanna come in for a bit?” He asked. “I swear…as rated G as you want it to be. We can just watch TV or something.” He reached up to play with a lock of her hair. “I don’t want to say goodnight yet.”

“Okay,” she said softly. He took her hand and led her down the hall to his suite. He unlocked the door and moved aside so she could enter first.

Lara wandered over and pushed the curtain aside, staring out the window. “New York almost looks angelic from up here, huh?” JC asked, walking up to stand behind her. She sighed.

“I bet you’re here like a million times a year…this is like my sixth time in this city. I love it, but it’s a big deal to catch a bus or come up with a tour or something.”

“Well…next time I’m up here, you’ll definitely have to come up. We can see all the things you want to see.” JC’s eyes lit up. “Do you want to see a matinee tomorrow?”

“Really?” Lara gasped.

“How about “The Producers”? Would you like to see that?”

“There’s NO way you could get tickets to that,” Lara insisted. JC smiled.

“Watch me.” He picked up the phone and dialed. “Lance. It’s Jayce. Yeah. Hey…do you know someone who can get us tickets for “The Producers”? Yeah. Okay. Call me back.” He hung up. “It’s good to know people.”

She giggled. “This is like a fairy tale or something. Hotel suites, dinner, club openings…and it’s your life.” She shook her head. He took her hand and pulled her close.

“But I’m just a normal guy, and I like just normal things.” He gently kissed her. “Like you.”

Lara yawned and stretched. She glanced at her clock and grinned. Nine o’clock. That was the latest she had slept in a long time. She credited it to the fact that she and Josh had sat on the sofa and talked until almost two. She knew from rumor, anyway, that he’d probably be in bed until around eleven.

She got up, dressed, and opened her door to pick up the newspaper that was outside her door. She gasped as she saw a small jewelry box on the floor. She opened the note first, and two tickets to “The Producers” fell into her palm. She let out a small shriek. She read the note out loud.

“Told you I’d get them. Hollywood Lance came through again! I’ll see you at noon. We can grab a quick lunch before the show. Oh…and Happy Belated Birthday.”

With shaking hands Lara opened the small box. Inside were a pair of small sapphire earrings that would look perfect with her new dress. “Oh, my God…” Lara whispered, touching the sparkling jewelry with a shaking finger.

“Whatcha got there?” Chris asked. Lara jumped and everything fell to the floor. “God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lara blushed as she bent down to pick everything up.

“Wow. “The Producers”? Very cool,” Chris said, handing her the tickets. “And what’s in the box.”

“Uh…a birthday present,” Lara said, blushing darker. Chris looked in the box and grinned.

“VERY cool. I’m impressed. When was your birthday?”

“November twenty-first.”

“Really? Let me take you out for a late birthday breakfast, then.”

“I don’t know,” Lara said, though she didn’t want to be alone. “To be honest, JC got a little mad that I spent the day with you yesterday.”

“What a boner.” Chris rolled his eyes. “C’mon. I’m meeting Joey and Justin. You won’t be alone with me, no matter how much you might want it.”

“What?” Lara gasped.

“Just kidding. C’mon,” he said in a wheedling tone.

“Let me put my shoes on,” she said with a sigh, and he grinned.

“Hey, Lara!” Joey said in surprise as Lara and Chris entered the small dining room in the hotel. “I’m glad to see you.” He turned to Justin. “Justin…this is Lara.”

“Hey!” Justin stood and shook her hand. She shivered slightly. After all, this WAS Justin Timberlake. “Nice to meet you. I love your stories!”

“I got your emails,” she said shyly, sitting down. Justin’s phone rang and he excused himself. “I GOT your EMAILS?” Lara repeated to herself, closing her eyes. “I’m an idiot.”

“He’s just Justin,” Joey told her. “We don’t think he’s that special, do we, Chris?”

“Nope, he’s a dork,” Chris informed her. “So…what do you want? It’s on me. Birthday breakfast.”

“When was your birthday?”

“November twenty-first, and Jayce bought her jewelry,” Chris informed him.

“Cool!” Joey said, raising his eyebrows. “Wow.”

“Okay, I’m back. What are we having?” Justin asked.

“No eggs for you, right?” Joey asked Lara. “Or cheese.”

She stared at him. “God…you guys HAVE read all my stuff!”

“That was so good.” Lara stretched as the house lights came back up. “JC, thank you. I loved it!”

“It WAS good. Worth every Tony Award,” JC agreed. “C’mon. I have an idea.” He took her hand and led her through the crowded theater. “Wait here.” He left her near a side door and went to find an usher. He came back a few minutes later. “C’mon.” They followed the usher down a back hallway, and the usher knocked at a door.

“Oh, my God,” Lara said as Matthew Broderick opened the door.

“No, Matthew,” he said with a grin. “Matthew Broderick.”

“Uh, Lara Logan…JC Chasez,” she murmured. “I cannot believe this. You didn’t tell me we were coming back HERE!” Lara slapped JC.

He laughed. “Nice to meet you, Matthew. We LOVED the show.”

“Thanks. It rolled well today,” Matthew agreed.

“Would it be too teenybopper of me to tell you that your movies were what I grew up on? I can practically recite all of Ferris Bueller AND War Games,” Lara told him, blushing. Matthew rolled his eyes.

“Those things will follow me until the day I die, but thank you.”

They chatted for a few more minutes and then JC and Lara left. As soon as they were outside the theater, Lara gave him a huge hug. “That was so incredible. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” JC said, smiling at the joy in her eyes. He looked down at her, desperately wanting to kiss her, but knowing that in front of a theater in the Broadway district was NOT the place to do it. “Let’s go back.”

They held hands, walking briskly to their hotel. “What time should I be ready?” Lara asked. “I have an appointment in the salon for five.”

“That’s good. I’ll knock on your door around seven?” JC suggested. “The others will have gone already, but we can take our time.”

“Okay.” JC walked Lara to her door. “I had a fantastic time today, JC.”

“So did I.” JC cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.” Lara wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. She felt his sharp intake of breath, then his sigh of contentment as his body molded against hers. His tongue sought entrance to her mouth, and she sighed as well.

“Okay, I’m not old enough to see this, and either are you.” Chris held one hand over his eyes and one hand over Lance’s.

“Chris, you’re a nerd.” Lance smiled at Lara. “I remember you. Lara, right?”

“Yeah.” Lara blushed hard and JC giggled his giggle.

“I'll see you later…leave her alone, Chris.” JC lightly shoved Chris down the hall as Lara let herself into her suite.

Lara grabbed her handbag as someone knocked on her door. She took a deep breath, checked herself in the mirror one more time, and opened the door. “Hi, JC,” she said nervously.

“I…well…hi…” JC stammered, his eyes running over her long legs. She blushed. “You…damn.”

“Thank you,” she said, giggling softly. “You look good, too.” He wore a pair of tight patterned grey and black pants with a white shirt and black jacket.

“Let’s go.” He held out his arm and she took it. “I mean it. You look simply gorgeous.”

“You probably say that to ALL your dates,” she teased gently. He jabbed the elevator button and leaned on the wall.

“Not like I mean it now,” he said softly, and she blushed again. JC leaned in for a quick kiss “You look delicious.”

Lara was saved from replying by the opening of the door.

“Cameras will probably flash…and it will probably be from some fans,” JC warned her as the limo pulled up in front of Lance’s club, Southern Hospitality. “They’re probably gonna bitch and yell at you. Are you ready for that?”

“Not really,” Lara said, panicking. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

“If you don’t want to go in, we won’t,” JC said. “We can go do something, and I’ll make an appearance later. Lance will understand.”

Lara looked into his eyes and realized that he meant it. He’d skip the whole thing if it made her too uncomfortable. She smiled. “As long as you assure me they won’t tear my clothes apart, I’ll be fine.”

“No…they’ll do that to ME,” he pointed out, and she laughed. He leaned over and kissed her. “Let’s go.” He opened the door and the bodyguard got out of the front seat. The large man led the way. Girls screamed and flashbulbs popped. Lara blinked against the lights, but kept close to JC. He waved but didn’t stop for autographs. They were sent through a side door, and before Lara knew it, they were in the club.

“That wasn’t so bad.” She huffed a sigh of relief. “But I need a drink.”

“One drink, coming up.” Josh turned to the bodyguard. “Can we make a play for the bar?”

“Better go up to the private room,” the bodyguard said. “They have waiters up there. It’s safer.”

“Okay.” JC turned to Lara. “Let’s go on up.” He held her hand tightly and the bodyguard cleared her a path.

“Hey!” Lance hurried over to hug JC and kiss Lara’s cheek. “You made it.”

“Yeah…finally,” JC said, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, Lara.” He walked to a waiter and they gave him their orders. JC then pulled her over to Justin and Britney. “Brit…this is Lara.”

“Hi.” Britney gave Lara a big smile, but Lara wasn’t sure if it was sincere.

“Hi. I’m sorry I had to cancel on you yesterday. It would have been fun…like Cinderella or something,” Lara said innocently.

“Right…well…nice to meet you,” Britney said cheerfully, actually looking slightly guilty. Lara smiled up at JC.

“Ready to hit the dance floor?” JC asked Lara three drinks later. She took a deep breath, finally relaxed.

“Yes,” she said firmly.

“I like the thought of grooving up on you in public,” he murmured in her ear. She just looked at him. “Oh…I’m sorry…oh, fuck…I was just joking around…” he stammered. She smiled.

“I was just thinking how much I myself like that thought,” she purred, and JC actually blushed.

“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and they almost ran down the steps to the dance floor.

JC pressed up against Lara, his hands running down her sides to her waist. “JC…I’m having the best time,” she told him, raising her voice so he could hear her over the music. “Thanks for asking me up here.”

“You’re welcome.” He pulled her even closer, and Lara could feel the thickness of his erection. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. She shook her head.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry…I’m not ready…” Lara stopped dancing. JC cupped her chin in one hand.

“Don’t apologize.” He kissed her right there on the dance floor.

They stayed out until three, stumbling down the hallway of their hotel. They giggled as JC fumbled with his keycard, just drunk enough to find everything funny. He opened the door and they fell inside, leaning against it as it closed.

“You should leave,” JC said, kissing Lara’s neck. “I can’t keep my hands off of you.”

“I like your hands,” she told him, bringing one up to suck on the fingers.

“Christ…” he gasped. “Oh, GOD, I want you so bad.”

“I want you, too, Josh,” Lara whispered, licking his neck.

“Josh?” He looked at her strangely and she blushed. “I like that.”

“Josh,” she repeated as his hands cupped her ass. The kiss got animalistic, biting and sucking and slurping until he finally pulled away.

“Leave,” he begged. “I want you to stay, but I’m not so drunk I don’t know it would be wrong.”

“Right,” she agreed, leaning her head against his chest. “Good night, Josh.”

“Sweet dreams.” He kissed her once more and she left the suite.

“Go away,” Lara moaned at the phone, opening one eye. It was eleven-thirty and she gasped. She never slept this late. She closed that eye and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Josh?” Lara slowly sat up, blinking. “You’re up?”

“Not by choice. Chris decided to be obnoxious and woke me at eleven. How about breakfast?”

“Um, okay.”

“Come open your door.”

Lara looked down at her tshirt and Tigger pajama bottoms. Oh, what the hell. She hung up the phone and padded to the door. She grinned when she saw JC on the other side. She opened the door. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah…these chocolate chip pancakes appeared at my door and asked to be delivered to you,” JC said with a grin. He lightly kissed her lips. “You’re adorable first thing in the morning.”

Lara blushed and moved aside. Just as she was about to close the door behind him, she heard a voice. “Hey…did he bring you breakfast?” Justin called, jogging down the hall with Joey on his heels.

“Yes, he did.”

“NO fair. He never brings US breakfast.” Justin pouted and Lara wanted to kiss him. Joey rolled his eyes.

“That’s because you’re not this cute. Nice pjs,” Joey said, and Lara blushed.

“Wanna come in?” She asked with a sigh.

“Sure!” Justin breezed in. “Good morning, JC!”

“What are you guys doing here?” JC came out of the bedroom, where he had been setting up Lara’s breakfast.

“Lara invited us in.”

“You’re not eating her food,” JC said sternly as Justin sniffed in the direction of the bedroom.

“It’s okay, JC,” Lara said, laughing.

“See, it’s okay.” Justin gave her a friendly hug.

“Order room service,” JC said. “And eat it out here.” He took Lara by the hand and dragged her into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

“That was rude,” Lara said, surprised.

“I didn’t even get to give you a good morning kiss.” Now it was JC’s turn to pout, and Lara melted like the butter on her pancakes.

“Here you go.” Lara stood on tiptoe to kiss him, and JC wrapped his arms around her. “Mmm…you’re sweeter than pancakes,” she whispered, pulling away.

“Are you guys having sex in there?” They heard Chris yell.

“Who let HIM in?” JC moaned. Lara laughed.

“If you want them to leave, I’ll ask them to leave,” she said. He shook his head.

“I know you like hanging with them. And they like you. I knew they would.”

Lara sat down and opened the container. She picked a bite of pancake off with her fingers and ate it. “So…my flight leaves at five.”

“Yeah,” JC said, sitting down next to her. “Anything special you wanna do?”

“Just spend time with you.” She looked away. “Since I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

“We’ll work something out,” JC said encouragingly, offering her the cup of coffee. She took a small sip.

“Josh…this weekend…I DID feel like Cinderella. Sapphires, dresses, a big party…but I don’t expect it to last. I just wanted you to know that. I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Lara…I’m a person. I’m allowed to have a career AND a relationship.”

“But it will be hard. I’m way up here. You’re rarely up in this part of the country, and I’m not planning on moving to Florida anytime soon. I just wanted you to know I didn’t expect…”

“Shhh…” JC said, placing a finger over her lips. “Let’s worry about that later.”

A half-hour later Lara went out into the living room. Chris and Justin were sharing eggs, pancakes, bacon and sausage. Joey was tearing into three bagel, egg and cheese sandwiches while Lance carefully ate a huge order of French toast. “Um, hi, Chris, hi, Lance.”

“Morning!” Chris said cheerfully.

“Uh…Chris said you wouldn’t mind if we came down here,” Lance said guilty. She laughed.

“No, I don’t mind.”

“Want some bacon?” Chris asked, stealing a piece off of Justin’s plate and offering it to her.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling at the look on Justin’s face. She took it and nibbled at it, looking for a place to sit.

“Here.” Joey moved to the side so she could sit on the sofa.

“No, HERE.” Chris patted his lap.

“No…HERE.” JC walked in and sat on the space Joey had cleared, pulling Lara onto his lap.

“Damn,” Chris muttered, and everyone laughed at him.

“So…what are you doing today?” Lance asked Lara.

“I don’t know.” She looked at JC. “What do you want to do?”

“Whatever YOU want to do,” he answered.

“I want to go to FAO,” she decided. “And I want lunch at the Harley Davidson Café,” she decided. “And I want to see Rockefeller Center. I’ve never been here in the winter.”

“You like Harleys?” Justin asked. Lara’s face fell.

“I…well…my husband was into them. Um…I’m gonna shower.” She climbed off of JC’s lap and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

“Great,” JC snapped at Justin.

“What?” Justin was confused.

“Whoa. She’s MARRIED?” Joey gasped.

“Dude, I TOLD you,” JC said.

“No, you didn’t,” Lance told him gently. “You never mentioned a husband.”

“She doesn’t HAVE a husband. She did, but he died. Last year.”

“Shit,” Chris murmured.

“Yeah. We’re taking things slow. I freaked her out in Orlando by moving too fast…and now…well…we’re going slow.”

“Cool,” Justin said thoughtfully. “Want company today, or is this a twosome thing?”

“I think she’d like it if you came along,” JC told him. “Any of you. And I think I would like it, too. It’s hard to keep behaving.”

“I guess,” Chris said. “She looked DAMN good in that dress last night.”

“Hey…eyes to yourself, FuMan,” JC growled.

Justin and Lance ended up accompanying JC and Lara on their little trip to the toy store and for lunch. Justin and Lance argued over the check at the restaurant as Lara played with her cheesecake. “I hate that I have to leave in a few hours,” she said.

“Me, too,” JC said. He took her hand. “You’ll call me tonight, right? When you’re home?”

“Yes, I promise.” Lara felt her eyes tear up and she looked away from him. “I don’t want you to take me to the airport, though. It would be a hassle for you, and it will be so hard…to leave…”

“Okay,” JC said. “We done here, guys?”

“Yeah.” Lance swiped the check, threw down money, and walked away from the table before Justin could say anything.

“Bastard,” Justin muttered, adding money for the tip.

“So…” JC fidgeted in Lara’s hotel suite. Her bags were packed and sitting by the door. “I’ll call you.”

“Right.” He took her in his arms and she fought back tears. “Thank you, Josh, really. It was incredible. I had a great time.”

“Me, too.” JC kissed her gently, then with more force. “I’m gonna call, Lara, I swear.”

“Okay.” Lara wiped away the tears. “Bye.” She picked up her bags and he opened the door for her.

“Bye.” JC watched her walk down the hall, smiling as one of the bodyguards miraculously appeared to carry her bags. He didn’t move until the elevator doors closed. He sighed and turned towards his own room.

Lara’s life soon went back to normal, thought JC was never far from her thoughts. He emailed often, and he called a few times, though he was really busy. They had to do a few charity concerts, and he wasn’t even sure he’d be home for the holidays.

“So…if a girl wanted to send you snail mail that she KNEW you’d actually see, where would she send it?” Lara asked one night when they were on the phone.

“Snail mail?” JC laughed. “Uh…I have a PO Box that I keep…just for me. I can give you that…I know I can trust you.”

“If you only knew how many times my big mouth almost let stuff slip,” Lara told him. “Julie, Jenn and Stacey know what’s going on…but when other girls start talking about you, I want to wring their necks!”

JC laughed again. Lara felt comfortable enough telling him this, because she knew she’d never see him again. “Well…here’s that address…and don’t go wringing any necks.”

Lara carefully folded the scarf and placed it in the padded envelope. She wrote a short note, attached it to the scarf, then sealed the envelope. Her mother had been teaching her to knit, and she had knit a scarf for JC that exactly matched his eyes. She had shopped for days to find just the right color yarn, and the scarf wasn’t perfect, but she hoped he’d at least get a laugh out of it.

Lara dreamt about JC, thought about him constantly, but did not allow herself to think that the feelings were mutual. If nothing else, she knew she had made an interesting friend, and that weekend in New York was like a fantasy. Chris and Joey still emailed her, and she occasionally heard from Justin and Lance. Justin, Joey and Chris had collaborated on a story and sent it to the list, and Lara had howled when she wrote it. In the story, Chris was with Justin, Lance was with Joey, and JC was a totally slut who did anyone. She just knew he had freaked when he read it.

The week before Christmas, Lara was at her dance class, helping a few of the other students who couldn’t quite get the steps. The teacher wasn’t there yet, and they had time to fool around.

“So, what’s up for Christmas?” Her friend Kristen asked.

“Not much. The usual family thing.” Lara sighed. This was her second Christmas alone and she wasn’t quite sure how to approach it. She usually loved the holidays, but she couldn’t even bring herself to decorate her house. “You?”

“Yeah. My mom does this big thing and…” Kristen stopped talking as a commotion filtered in from the waiting area. Kristen and Lara looked at each other. “What’s that?”

“I have no clue. You know that the junior high kids start tap in five minutes. Maybe…” Her face wentite as a head poked into the studio.

“Excuse me, Ladies,” Davey said politely. “Hey, Lara.”

“Um, hey.” She didn’t trust her feet to move.

“Guess who’s here?” He moved aside and Chris poked his head in behind Davey.

“Hi, Lara!” Chris danced into the studio and gave her a hug.

“Chris, what are you doing here?” Lara allowed him to twirl her around.

“We came to bring you to Florida.”

“Florida? I…” Lara stopped talking as JC took a step into the studio. He had the blue scarf around his neck. “JC?”

“Hi,” he said almost shyly. She walked over to hug him, and he surprised her by kissing her hard and fast. “I…uh…thank you. For my gift. I was so surprised,” he said finally.

“You’re welcome,” she replied, also lacking the ability to talk.

“You two.” Chris shook his head fondly. “Look…we figured Christmas would be hard for you, so if your mom won’t have too much of a cow…come down to Florida and spend Christmas with us.”

“Christmas? In Florida?”

“That’s what I said,” Chris replied, smiling.

“Go, girl! Christmas in FLORIDA!” Kristen hissed in her ear.

“I don’t…the flight…” Lara stammered.

“If you don’t want to,” JC looked crestfallen.

“No, I do. I DO,” she insisted. “I just…”

“We’ll stick around until you can come down,” Chris said quickly, and Lara stared at him.

“I think I could leave day after tomorrow…stay through New Year’s. I have extra vacation time, anyway,” Lara said softly. She had had no reason to take a vacation that year.

“Then it’s settled. Can we crash with you?” Chris asked her.

“I…well…it’s no four star hotel. And I have cats,” she babbled, still in shock. “And only one extra bed…uh…one of you can have my bed and I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“We’ll work that out then.” Chris sat on the floor as the dance teacher, Sandy, came in.

“Um, can I help you?”

“We’re with her.” Chris pointed to Lara. He tugged at JC’s pant leg. “Sit. You’re in the way.”

“Right.” JC sat down, his eyes never leaving Lara’s face. She blushed. Sandy looked at her.

“Friends. From out of town,” Lara answered quickly. A group of girls giggled in the doorway.

“Enough, ladies.” Sandy closed the door and went to the CD player. “Okay, let’s get started.” She picked up the CD, glanced at the cover, then dropped the case. She stared at Chris and JC as she picked up the CD. “Okay…let’s go.”

“Uh…about Davey,” Lara began as the class ended. Chris and JC had ended up joining in, joking around with the teacher and pretty much charming her right out of control of the class. Chris choreographed crazy routines, making JC the guinea pig. The class loved them.

“He’s going back to Florida,” Chris told her. “We won’t need him here, I don’t think. It’s cool. He’ll return the rental car to the airport tonight when he leaves.”

“I still don’t know how you found me,” Lara said, watching JC talk with Kristen. He had almost totally ignored her through the class, and she still wasn’t sure what was going on.

“You told JC all about your dance class…we did some investigating.” Chris looked proud. He hugged her. “He has done nothing but talk about you since New York,” he whispered in her ear. She shrugged and pulled away.

“Whatever. Let’s go out there. A few people are waiting for you,” she said, smiling a bit. Davey opened the door and about thirty girls crowded around JC and Chris.

“So…uh…there’s the bathroom…and the guest room, and my room…there are towels in there.” Lara pointed to the linen closet nervously. “So…uh…yeah.”

Chris dug through his small bag for a toiletry bag. “I need a shower. I’ll make sure and use all the hot water.”

Lara slapped him on his way past. “Damn kids.” She went into the guest room to make sure the bed was made properly.

“So.” JC leaned in the doorway. “I’m sorry if we bothered you.”

“You didn’t. You just…” Lara turned around. “What do you want, JC?”

“I want to see you…to spend Christmas with you,” JC said, surprised.

“You come here and don’t speak three words to me. Chris does all the talking. Chris acts happy to see me. Chris…”

“Chris doesn’t feel about you the way I do,” JC said softly, moving closer to her. She shivered at the look in his blue eyes.

“And how do you feel, JC?”

“I have thought about you every free moment I’ve had. I wanted to spend more time with you…get to know you.” JC walked over and put his hands on her shoulders. “Lara…I’ve really missed you. I wish…I just…I don’t want to frighten you, but I want to be with you.”

“Whoa,” Lara whispered. “Um, okay…” She swallowed deeply and looked up into his eyes. “Okay, JC. So…I’ll be staying with you?”

“Yes. You’ll have your own room and everything.”

“Okay. I’ll come back to Florida with you,” she said. He grinned and gently kissed her. She sighed and melted against him.

“I think it’s dumb for you to sleep on the sofa,” he murmured. “And I want to sleep with you…in the same bed, I mean.”

Lara bit her lip. “Josh, I can’t do that. Not here. Not in…that bed. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” JC said, sighing. “I do.” But his eyes were frustrated.

“But…CHRIS could sleep in there, and we could sleep in here,” Lara said thoughtfully. “It’s small…”

“But then we’d be closer together.” JC smiled at her. “Please?”

“Okay. I’ll go put clean sheets on my bed for Chris.” Lara started for the door.

“Wait!” JC pulled her back and gave her a long sensuous kiss. “That’s for my scarf.”

“You’re welcome,” Lara said, dazed.

Lara awakened early the next morning, wrapped in a warm cocoon of JC. He had his long legs thrown over her, and his arm was wrapped around her waist. She could feel his face buried in her hair and sighed. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this. She felt guilty, she felt comfortable, she felt nervous, she felt happy. She sighed and tried to wriggle out from under him.

“Where goin’?” JC mumbled.

“I’m getting up. You have about another hour to sleep before I’m gonna waken you.” She kissed his forehead.

“’Kay.” He rolled onto his stomach. Lara crept out of the room, snuck into her own bedroom, and grabbed clothes, trying not to waken Chris.

“Hey.” His voice made her jump as she reached for the doorknob to leave.

“God, Chris, you scared me!” Lara smiled at him. “I didn’t mean to waken you. I needed clothes.”

“No you didn’t. You coulda just been naked.” Chris stretched and smiled.

“I bet you’d love that.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Chris moved aside. “C’mere. Talk to me.” Lara put down her clothes and climbed onto the bed. “It’s cold. Get under here.”

“Chris, I…” Lara looked towards the doorway.

“JC won’t care. He knows I’m not after you. Get in here.” Chris swept the covers back and Lara gratefully climbed under. “Much better.”

“Yeah.” Lara closed her eyes and sighed, trying to calm the whirlwind of her mind.

“You okay?”

“Just confused. I…I don’t know what to think.” Lara leaned on one elbow and looked at him. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I just kept trying to figure it out.”

“Figure WHAT out?”

“Me. JC. What he wants.”

Chris stared at her. “What do you think he wants?”

“I don’t know. I mean…he could have ANYONE, Chris. I’ve seen the girls you guys date. I mean, look at Britney.”

“I try not to,” Chris said, and she giggled.

“I’m just so…boring. I feel like he could do better. And I feel guilty. I mean, my husband’s only been dead over a year.”

“And I bet he’d want you happy, right?” Chris said gently. She bit her lip. “Lara, you make JC so damn happy. He loves the fact that he has someone who isn’t after him for the whole pop star thing. You think you’re boring, and normal. That’s just what we want. We want someone to snuggle under the covers with, watching cartoons. We don’t need arm candy.”

“Okay,” Lara said, sighing.

“And I swear to you, he’s not trying to hurry you into anything. He just wants to spend time with you.” Chris put an arm around her and she snuggled close. “I won’t lie…it won’t be easy. These relationships never are. But you could make it work.”

“Yeah,” Lara said sleepily.

JC reached over and slapped the alarm that Lara had set the night before. She had said she’d come in to waken him, but she was nowhere to be found. JC yawned, stretched, cursed mornings, then got up. He shivered slightly and pulled on a tshirt. He padded out into the hallway, ears perked. A cat rubbed up against his legs…the bigger cat…he couldn’t remember the name. He picked the cat up, scratched its head absently, then quietly walked into the master bedroom. He poked his head around the corner and froze. Lara was curled up under the covers with Chris, her head on his shoulder. Jealousy flared in JC, but he knew he really had nothing to worry about. The cat jumped out of his arms and ran over to walk over Lara. She jumped and her eyes fluttered open.

“Hey, Harley,” she said sleepily.

“Harley. THAT’S his name,” JC whispered, filing it away. She looked up at him and smiled sleepily.

“Hi, Josh.”

“Room for me?” JC crawled onto the bed and wiggled his way between Lara and Chris.

“JC…I thought I kicked you out of my bed for the last time the other night,” Chris said from behind him.

“Shut up, Chris.” JC kissed Lara and she sighed. She rolled her head back and looked at the clock.

“Wow…we slept another hour!”

“Why did we have to get up early anyway?” JC asked, pouting.

“Because I didn’t want you sleeping the day away. I get little enough time with you as it is,” Lara pointed out.

“Let’s just do this all day. Snuggle in bed…let’s watch cartoons.” Chris gave Lara a secret smile. “After you make breakfast.”

“ME?” Lara asked.

“It’s your house.”

“Spoiled pop stars,” Lara grumbled, but she got back out of bed. She looked down at them and smiled. “Man…what the girls on the list wouldn’t do for a picture of you two in bed together.”

“Good idea.” Chris snuggled up to JC and pretended to kiss him. JC shoved him away.

“You’re weird.” He got up and took Lara’s hand. “I’ll help you in the kitchen.”

“I’ll be right here,” Chris said, rolling over and falling back asleep.

“You’re kidding.” Lara turned around in a circle in the foyer of JC’s house. “This is ALL yours? I mean, I knew you’d have a big house, but, wow.”

“Yeah.” JC smiled bashfully. “And it’s pretty empty, as you can see. We’re never around.” He gave her a gentle push. “I’ll take our stuff upstairs. You go look around.”

Lara walked through the large living room and dining room, and into the beautiful kitchen. Pots sparkled as they hung from a rack attached to the ceiling, and a huge window looked out onto the backyard. Blue water danced in the swimming pool. “A pool?” Lara whispered. “Of course. This is a freaking mansion.” She walked to the sliding door and looked out. A Jacuzzi was set in the corner of the pool, and Lara saw patio furniture and a state of the art grill in a corner of the patio. “Wow,” she whispered. She closed her eyes and fought the tears that hit the back of her eyelids.

“So…think you can handle spending Christmas here?” JC asked, walking up behind her.

“I think…I think I need to go,” she said, not turning around.

“Go? Go where?”

“Home,” she whispered. JC spun her around.

“You’re crying! What’s wrong?”

“I just…this…it’s so much…and it’s not me.”

“God.” JC rolled his eyes and for the first time, Lara saw him get angry. “Are you still stuck on that? C’mere.” He took her hand and practically dragged her upstairs. “Look. This is my room.” He threw a door open, and Lara was shocked by the mess. Shoes and clothes and papers lined the floor. One side of the bed was covered with sheet music and notebooks. “I’m not as anal as everyone seems. I’m also just a normal person. I make a mess. I smell up the bathroom. I leave dishes in the sink.” JC eyed her up sadly. “If you want to go, I’ll call the airport right this minute. But I thought…I thought you were different, that you’d see past the house and the cars and everything.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, ashamed. “I’m just…afraid.”

“Don’t be,” he said, opening his arms. She welcomed his embrace. “I don’t expect you to be anything but you, okay?”

She nodded. “Did you say cars, plural?”

“Okay, this is it. My dream car.” Lara ran a hand over the front of JC’s convertible Mustang. “I’m sure this is like your cheapest car or something, but it’s what I’ve always wanted.” Her eyes ran over the car hungrily.

“Then it’s yours.” JC tossed her the keys. She stared at him, laughed, then tossed them back.

“You’re funny. I can’t drive stick, anyway.”

He threw the keys at her again. “I’m serious. I’ll teach you to drive it, and then I’ll have it shipped back to Pennsylvania.”

She laughed again. “You’re gonna pay to have this car shipped to Pennsylvania…just because I wanted it?”

“Merry Christmas,” JC said softly. Lara’s mouth fell open.

“You’re serious.” JC nodded. “Oh…oh my GOD!” She screamed, jumping up and down. JC laughed out loud.

“What’s the use of having money if you can’t buy nice things for the people you care about?”

“Thank you, Josh. Thank you.” She threw herself into his arms and kissed wherever she could reach.

“Speaking of buying nice things…how about we take the SUV and go buy a Christmas tree? We should have SOMETHING around here that looks like Christmas,” JC suggested. Lara nodded fervently and they climbed into his SUV.

They were on their way back to the house, the vehicle full of Christmas tree and decorations, when JC’s cellphone rang. “You wanna answer that?” He asked, handing it to her. “And if it’s Chris…no, we’re NOT coming over to watch cartoons with him tomorrow morning.”

Lara laughed and answered it. “Hello?”

“Hi…um…isn’t this JC’s phone?” A woman asked.

“Yes. Hold on.” Lara silently handed him the phone and looked out the window.

“Hello? Oh…hey…Brit.” He emphasized the name and saw Lara relax. “Yeah…I know…yeah, we can have it at my place…but if it gets trashed, YOU’RE paying for it. Yeah…as far as I know we’ll be in town then…check with Lance, though, to be sure. Okay. Uh, yeah. Bye.” He hung up. “She’s planning a twenty-first birthday party for Justin…wants to have it at MY house. You should come down.”

“I’ll see,” Lara said, though she loved the thought of being around to see Justin turn twenty-one. The phone rang again and she answered it. “Hello?”

“I need to talk to JC,” a female voice demanded. Lara sighed and handed him the phone.

“God, Brit, now what?” JC asked, laughing. His laughter faded. “Oh…hello, Bobbie.”

When the car pulled into the driveway, Lara grabbed a few bags and went in through the garage. She put the bags in the family room and went up to unpack her things in the guestroom. She had seriously thought about just asking to sleep in JC’s room, but not now. Not when Bobbie was still an issue. Lara sat on her bed, holding a pair of shoes. Bobbie. She had seen pictures of Bobbie. Bobbie was thin and pretty and just the right girl to be on JC’s arm.

“Hey…I lost you. I need your help getting the tree in.” JC leaned in the doorway.

“Right.” Lara tossed the shoes into the closet. JC suddenly grabbed her and kissed her, his tongue dancing at her lips until she let it in. She moaned, clutching his shoulders as his hands slid down to her backside. He pulled her tight against him and she could feel the erection that started to build. He sighed, letting his tongue trail down her throat before he kissed her collarbone.

“Did you feel that in your toes?” JC panted. She slowly nodded. “So did I…and she doesn’t make that happen. I don’t know if she ever did. She’s no threat to you, understand me?” Lara nodded, breathless.

“Over…over…yeah. RIGHT there…” JC said, his hand moving up to slide over Lara’s backside. She slapped his hand.

“You’re a dirty little boy.” She leaned again and got the ornament where she wanted it. He helped her off the stepladder.

“Are you complaining?” JC tugged at her hand, pulling her onto his lap as he fell onto a rocking chair. “Let’s take a break. Tell Santa what you want for Christmas.”

Lara tucked her head onto JC’s shoulder. “A convertible Mustang…and a sexy rich boyfriend who sings like an angel.”

“I can do all that,” JC said nodding.

“And a pet zebra.”

“THAT is debatable,” he said, and she laughed. His phone rang and he sighed. Lara got up to continue decorating as JC answered the phone. “Hello? Oh, hey, Chris. Yeah, she’s here and we’re decorating the tree. CHRISTMAS tree, retard. Yeah…okay…” JC sighed. “Chris wants to come over,” he told her.

“Already?” Lara laughed. JC nodded and rolled his eyes. “Sure. I don’t care.”

“You’re too nice.” JC picked the phone back up. “Sure. C’mon over. You can help me hang the lights out front. Okay. Bye.” JC hung up and picked up the next box of ornaments. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Lara chose one and studied the tree before she placed the ornament where she wanted it.

“God…one thing that you’re more anal about then I am,” JC teased. She glared at him.

“It has to be JUST right.”

“I…” JC was interrupted by the phone. “Hello? Yeah…no, I don’t. Justin…we’re TRYING to do the tree and Chris already…yeah…okay…fine. I don’t think she’ll mind. See you then. Bye.” JC hung up. “They NEVER wanna hang here…now I have you here and they all…” The phone rang again and JC screamed with frustration.

Justin showed up with Chris. Lance called looking for Justin, and Joey called looking for Lance. Soon all five members of NSYNC were outside fighting about Christmas lights as Lara finished the tree. She looked out a window just in time to see Chris tackle JC and Justin pile on top of them both. She giggled and went out to the kitchen. It was a warm day, but it still didn’t seem right decorating for Christmas and not drinking hot chocolate. She dug through JC’s cabinets until she actually found hot chocolate mix. She put a big pot of milk on the stove and sat at his counter to wait for it to heat up.

“Hey.” A pair of hands covered her eyes and she jumped. “Guess who?”

“Hmmm.” Lara felt at the fingers. “Short fingers…so you’re not JC.” Her hands went up the forearms. “Not enough hair to be Justin…I don’t smell Lance’s cologne…so it’s either Joey or Chris. I’d guess Chris.”

“You’d be right.” Chris walked to sit across the counter from her. “Why aren’t you helping?”

“I’m making cocoa.” She nodded at the stove.

“Cool. I think it’s safer for me inside. Anything I can do?”

“There’s a bag of little odds and ends you could set up around the family room,” Lara suggested.

“Okay.” Chris gave her shoulder a squeeze and headed back to the family room.

“Where is he?” Joey yelled, coming in the back door. Lara jumped.

“God, Joey! Who?”

“Chris! That little bastard stole my sneaker and threw it somewhere…I can’t find it!” Joey hopped on one foot. They heard the front door slam. “Little bastard!” Joey yelled, hopping back out the front door. Lara sighed, shaking her head. She turned the milk down to low and went into the family room. Chris had started hanging garland on the fireplace mantle, and she finished the job. She wondered why JC had a house with a fireplace in FLORIDA, but it did make the room seem homey.

Lara was pouring the cocoa into mugs when Lance appeared. “That smells good.”

“I know it’s not cold enough…but I thought you might like it,” she said shyly.

“I know I’LL like it. Thanks.” Lance took a mug and inhaled. “Anything else you need done?”

“Well, Chris was supposed to finish in the room, but…”

“Joey has him. We may not see him for a while. I’ll do it.” Lance left the kitchen and Lara realized she had been holding her breath. She finished pouring cocoa and heard Justin’s laughter.

“Lance, you are so short. I’LL do it.” She found a tray under JC’s sink and carefully carried the mugs into the living room. Justin was hanging mistletoe in the doorway to the room.

“Where did that come from?” Lara asked.

“It was in the bag,” Lance said.

“JC must’ve picked it up.”

“Of course he did, if you’re staying here,” Justin teased her. “I bet he hangs it in EVERY room.”

Lara blushed and said nothing. “Hide me!” Chris screamed, running into the room. Lara barely had time to set down her tray. “Hide me!”

“Chris…” Joey came running in, with both shoes on this time.

“Enough!” Lara barked, and they actually stopped. “You’re INSIDE now. Act like it.”

“Damn,” Justin muttered. “She’s already got the mom voice.”

Lara blushed again and sat down to untangle an extra string of lights. “Cocoa!” JC said, surprised. He took a mug and sipped at it. “I didn’t even know I HAD cocoa here.”

“You need to shop,” Lara told him, then went back to her lights.

“Ya know what goes good with cocoa?” Chris commented. “Popcorn.”

“I’ll make some.” Lara jumped up and hurried out of the room.

She found some bags of microwave popcorn and quickly made two huge bowls of popcorn. She carried them out, then went to make more cocoa. Chris stopped her in the doorway of the living room. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” Lara asked.

Chris turned her slightly so her back was to the room. “You’re jittery. Nervous.”

“I…” Lara blushed. “I’m afraid.”

“AFRAID? Of what? Did JC do something to scare you?” Chris’ dark eyes were serious.

“NO! Josh is great. Wonderful. I just…” Lara sighed. “This is dumb, and it’s the one thing I promised I wouldn’t be like when I met you guys.”

“What?”

“I’m afraid…that I’ll do something stupid in front of…” Lara’s last words were muffled.

JC started to call out to Lara, to ask her to come sit with him, but he stopped. He saw Chris and Lara talking, directly under the mistletoe. Chris was concerned, and he soon cupped Lara’s face in his hands. She nodded at something he said, then looked down. He tilted her face up and kissed her cheek, continuing to talk. JC frowned.

“In front of who?”

“Lance and Justin,” she finally said, sighing. “Retarded, I know…but they just…I mean, hell, I’ve had a crush on Lance since like nineteen ninety-eight. And Justin…I mean, he’s Justin Timberlake! You and Joey and JC…you’re all great…but it’s different. Josh…well…you know what’s happening there…and you and Joey are just so…NORMAL…but…” Lara sighed. “I sound like an idiot.”

“No, you don’t.” Chris cupped her face in his hands. “Listen. They’re just normal, too. God, the stories I could tell you about Justin…they’re just people.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, looking away. He tilted her face up.

“Trust me. I’ll make them prove to you that they’re normal and nothing to worry about. Okay?” Chris kissed her cheek, and she nodded.

“Joey…STOP!” Justin ordered suddenly. Lara had curled up next to JC on the floor. He said nothing, but he smiled at her.

“What? Man, I gotta piss,” Joey snapped from the doorway. Justin hopped up and grabbed him.

“Mistletoe.” He smacked a kiss on Joey’s cheek. Joey groaned and wiped it off, then hurried to the bathroom. Justin laughed out loud and came back to sit with Lance on the sofa.

“Told you,” Chris whispered to Lara, kicking her foot.

“Told her what?” Justin asked.

“Nothing, NOSY.”

“Told me that you and Lance are human,” Lara answered for Chris.

“Lance is human. I am not. I am otherworldly,” Justin said with an affected tone.

“You’re a dork,” Lance said affectionately. Lara looked at him and he smiled at her. She blushed and looked down.

“So…what’s for dinner?” Joey asked, doing a flying leap and landing on both Lance and Justin. They groaned and yelled.

“Let’s order in Chinese,” Chris suggested.

“Yeah!” Justin yelled gleefully.

“I have a menu in the kitchen.” JC stood and left the room without another word. The four men looked at each other.

“What did we do this time?” Lance asked.

“What’s going on?” Lara asked.

“JC is pissed about something. We can tell,” Joey told her. Lara bit her lip and got up. She followed JC into the kitchen. He was digging through a drawer, looking for the takeout menu.

“Josh?” She said softly.

“What?” He didn’t look up.

“What did I do wrong?” Lara asked. “They said you’re pissed…and I know it’s something I did.”

“Do you always just assume it’s your fault?” JC finally looked at her. She paused, then nodded.

“Do you want me?” JC asked. “And I don’t mean sexually.”

“Well…yes, Josh. Or I wouldn’t have come.”

“Then why…what’s up with you and Chris?” He asked finally.

“Me and Chris?” Lara asked blankly.

“I find you guys asleep in bed together. I know you email him more than the others…and then he kisses you under the mistletoe.”

“Josh…he was being a friend. I…I feel weird around Justin and Lance, okay, and I didn’t want to tell you. He drew it out of me, and told me not to be intimidated by them. That’s ALL.” Lara’s eyes swam with tears. “If you’re gonna go all jealous on me because I’m friends with your friends…then this isn’t gonna work, Josh. I’m not the kind of girl that guys go after. You don’t have to worry about me getting picked up in a club or bar. And you DEFINITELY don’t have to worry about me screwing around with your friends. I don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry. Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Lara felt JC’s arms go around her. “I just…it’s been a long time since I found someone to like me for ME…and I don’t want to lose you to Chris.”

“You’re not losing me to ANYONE,” Lara promised. His mouth met hers and they kissed hungrily. She felt him pick her up and sit her on the counter. Her hands ran up through his hair as her legs wrapped around his slender waist.

“I’m sorry…I got jealous…” he murmured between kisses.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you about my weird feelings regarding Lance and Justin,” she gasped as his lips slid down to nibble at her throat.

“They’re just people.” JC’s breath was warm on her skin as he spoke. She moaned, lightly tugging at his hair.

“Why are we talking about them now? I’m not kissing them…I’m kissing you…” Lara whispered. He pulled away.

“C’mere.” JC pulled her off the counter and tugged her into the living room. “Lansten. C’mere.” He held Lara in the doorway. Lance shrugged and got up. “Kiss her.”

“WHAT?” Lance and Lara said together.

“It’s an experiment. Kiss her.” JC looked at them. Lara stared at Lance.

“You mind?” He asked her. She mutely shook her head. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Oh, GOD…” Justin said in disapproval.

“You can do better?” JC asked. “Your turn.”

“Josh…” Lara stammered.

“Trust me, babygirl.” JC smiled at her. “Justin…”

“Woohoo…kissing JC’s girlfriend!” Justin hopped over Chris and ran to the doorway. He dramatically pulled her to him, his arm around her waist. Lara barely had time to breath before Justin’s mouth was on her. She felt his tongue tease at her lips, then he pulled away.

“What’s the reason for all this?” Chris demanded, noticing the way Lara was blushing.

“Proving a point.” JC cupped Lara’s face in his hands and gently kissed her. She sighed, falling against his body.

“Damn,” Joey muttered. “Now THAT’S a kiss.”

JC pulled back. “Who kisses best?”

“You,” Lara said breathlessly. He grinned.

“Do you believe me now when I say that they’re just human?” She nodded.

“I think I should get a second chance,” Justin said.

“No way,” JC told him, pulling Lara close. She smiled and looked at Chris, who winked at her.

JC finally kicked his bandmates out of the house around ten. “If you wanna go up and get ready for bed, I have some things to take care of down here,” he said to Lara. She smiled.

“Okay.” She went up into her bedroom and stared at her clothes. She desperately wanted to sleep in the same bed as JC, but what if he felt that was teasing him? What if he DID want her to sleep with him…then what should she wear? Pajamas were a major decision. Nothing too sexy, but something cute. She finally decided on her Tigger tshirt and matching shorts.

Lara was washing her face when JC knocked on the bedroom door. Lara padded out to open the door, wiping her face with a towel. “Well…looks like you’re all ready for bed,” JC said, smiling. She blushed a little. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you earlier, with that kissing thing.”

“No, you didn’t.” Lara smiled. “How many girls can say that they were kissed by Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez in a five minute time span?”

“I don’t want to know,” JC replied, and she laughed. “Sweet dreams,” JC said. He gave her a tender kiss, then headed down the hall to his room.

Lara closed her door and leaned against it. She took a deep breath and opened the door. She hurried down the hall and knocked on JC’s door. “Josh?”

The door flew open instantly, as if he had been waiting for her. “Yes? Is something wrong?” JC leaned in the doorway, wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

“Josh, I…” Lara started, then stopped. Something in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine. “I…I was lonely.”

“Do you want to sleep in here with me?” JC asked quietly. She nodded.

“But I don’t want you to expect…I don’t want to tease you.”

JC gently pulled her into the bedroom. He kissed her forehead. “Anything you want, okay? And ONLY what you want.”

Lara stared up into his beautiful blue eyes and fought with herself. Guilt battled with desire and the need to finally do what she wanted, after living for someone else’s memory for so long. “I want you, Josh,” she whispered. He looked at her curiously. “I want you to make love to me.”

“Lara…I…”

“I DO want it. I want YOU. But if you don’t want me anymore, I…”

JC fiercely kissed her, sucking her tongue into his mouth. Lara whimpered, clutching at his slender shoulders. “Don’t want you? Are you crazy?” He led her to the bed. “I just want you to be sure.”

“I AM sure.” Lara bit her bottom lip. “But it’s been a while…and I know you’ve been with a million women and…”

“Only HALF a million,” JC interrupted with a teasing grin. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed every fingertip. “And not one of them is in this room right now. Just me and you.”

Lara slid her hands up his bare chest, locking her hands behind his neck. They kissed again as JC’s hands wandered under his shirt. He soon pulled it up, and she wiggled out of it. His chest was soft against her breasts, and she sighed. “Josh,” she whispered. He gently laid her back onto the bed and stood. He started to slip his sweatpants off and she moved his hands, sliding them down herself. She swallowed deeply, looking at the erection that stood out in front of her. She lightly stroked him, and he hissed in a breath, closing his eyes. Taking him in her hand, she gently licked his head, then moved him into the warmth of her mouth.

“Jesus,” he whispered, his hands grabbing at her hair. He held onto her head as she slowly sucked him. “Okay…stop…GOD…stop.” JC made himself pull back. He slowly pushed her back again, then slid the shorts down her legs. “Beautiful,” he whispered, kissing his way up her thighs.

“Josh…don’t…” Lara said, tugging at his shoulders. He was up to face her in an instant.

“Are you okay?” He asked, concerned. He kissed her cheeks, her nose, her forehead.

“Yes…I just…I want you. Inside of me.”

JC gave her one more passionate kiss, then moved over her. Her legs went around his slender waist and he was inside her in an instant. “Are you okay?” He whispered.

“God…yes…JC…more…please…” Lara begged.

JC slowly began to move in and out, but her urging words soon had him moving faster, sliding in and out at a steady pace. He felt his orgasm building, and he reached down to lightly touch her. Lara gasped and arched up towards him, and he felt her tighten. “Lara…God…I love you…” JC gasped, cumming inside of her.

JC collapsed onto her chest, and she ran her fingers through his hair as she tried to catch her breath. “Josh?”

“Mmm?”

“What did you just say?”

“Oh.” JC looked up, blushing. “I…uh…actually, I MEANT to say that, well, not NOW…but…okay, I know how it sounded, and I do, I mean, I love you, but not just in a “hey I’m about to cum” way. I LOVE you.”

Lara giggled at his explanation. “I understand. I love you, too, Joshua Chasez.”

When Lara woke up the next morning, she was snuggled tight in JC’s arms. She smiled and stretched, then crept out of bed. She pulled on the sweatpants JC had discarded, then dug through his drawers until she found a tshirt. She slipped out of the bedroom and went downstairs to make coffee.

It was warm enough to sit outside, even at eight-thirty in the morning, so she grabbed the newspaper and her coffee and went to sit on JC’s back deck. Lara opened the newspaper, but she didn’t look at it. She stared out at his swimming pool, deep in thought. She was afraid she would wake up and regret everything. Regret making love with Josh. But she didn’t. She was happy. Deliriously happy. Happier than she’d been in months. She sighed and flipped the newspaper open to the Arts section. She scanned through some book reviews, then flipped to the Music section. A picture of Lance Bass in the local gossip column caught her eye and she moved the paper closer to the edge of the table.

“As we all know, Lance Bass’ new club in New York, Southern Hospitality, opened to a huge crowd and rave reviews. The owner came sans date, but who was the girl on our boy JC Chasez’s arm? Not a local girl, that’s for sure. Don’t worry, NSYNC fans, we’ll make sure to find out for you!”

JC woke up alone at eleven. He got up and went to the bathroom, then pulled on a pair of shorts. He padded downstairs on bare feet, looking for Lara. He sniffed out the coffee and poured himself a cup, but she wasn’t in the kitchen. JC frowned. He hoped she wasn’t having second thoughts about what had happened the night before. JC heard a sudden blast of music, then a squeal. He followed the noise down to his study. Lara had her laptop on his desk next to his computer, and she was seated on the floor surrounded by a pile of CDs. “Um, good morning.”

Lara jumped. “God! I’m sorry…I didn’t know the volume was up so loud on your CD player and it scared me. Did I waken you?”

“No.” He leaned in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

Lara blushed. “I…uh…I’m making a few dumb gifts for the guys. Um…the computer is burning off roms of my stories, and these are CDs of songs I used in my stories. Kinda like a gag gift, I guess. I feel bad I don’t have anything for them, and it’s not like they don’t have EVERYTHING. I don’t even know what to get YOU, and Christmas is like two days away.”

JC sat down next to her, being careful not to spill his coffee. “Babygirl, you don’t have to get me anything. You being here is awesome enough. And…last night…” JC thought of how to say what he felt. “It was incredible. Amazing.”

“I want you to see something.” Lara dug through a pile of her papers and pulled out the newspaper page. “Read this.”

JC scanned the article and frowned. “Honey, you knew this would happen. They…”

“Josh, it’s okay.” Lara put a hand on JC’s knee. “I just wanted you to see it. I’m fine. I just…I hope they don’t razz you too much when they find out I’m just a normal person.”

“So am I, Lara. And I don’t care what they think. Except if they slam you. Then I’ll sue their asses.”

“You’re so sexy when you’re feisty,” Lara teased. JC growled and pulled her to the ground, nipping at her neck.

“Hello,” JC answered the phone on the desk.

“Are you still sleeping?” Chris demanded. “For God’s sake, JC.”

Lara, who could hear Chris yelling through the phone, grabbed it from JC. “Chris, he just got one of the best fucks of his life. What the hell do you want?”

JC screamed with laughter, and for once Chris was at a loss for words. “I…uh…well, I thought you might…uh…”

Lara laughed. “I’m sorry, Chris. What’s up, sweetie?”

“I thought you might want to do some last minute shopping for JC or someone, and there’s a great mall nearby. I thought we could go for lunch or something. But if you’re busy…”

Lara covered the phone with her hand. “Do you care if I go shopping and to lunch with Chris?”

JC kissed her nose and ran his hand over her naked breasts. “As long as you come back here later.”

Lara whimpered. “Um, Chris? Come pick me up in an hour.”

“Love you,” JC whispered as he gave Lara a hug at the door. Chris rolled down his window.

“Oh, get a room!” Chris yelled.

“Okay!” JC yelled back, yanking Lara into the house.

“Dammit, you horny skinny bastard!” Chris yelled. Lara blushed and giggled, giving JC one last kiss. She skipped out to Chris’ car and climbed into the passenger seat. “You two…damn…like rabbits or something.”

“Jealous?” Lara asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Kinda. Not really. Glad he’s happy. Glad YOU’RE happy.” Chris squeezed her hand and backed out of the driveway.

They wandered around the huge mall for about two hours. Lara finally found a gorgeous sweater that would bring out JC’s eyes, and she found a beautiful leather-bound journal he could use to write his songs in. “These are lameass gifts,” she said, sighing as she handed over her credit card at the bookstore.

“He’ll really like them though. Trust me. You could bring JC a bag of dirt and he’d love it. He’s like that,” Chris insisted. They left the bookstore and headed down the mall to the pizza place at the end.

“I just…I feel like I should get him something more. He gave me a car.”

“He gave you a CAR?” Chris gasped. She nodded and they went to the counter to place their order.

They waited for their pizza and sat down before continuing their conversation. “Yeah, I admired his Mustang and he gave it to me.”

“Damn. He DOES have it bad for you, if he gave you one of his cars,” Chris teased. Lara munched on her pizza thoughtfully.

“I’m afraid, Chris. What if I’m not enough for him? I know what you guys are used to.”

“If you keep gnawing away at that idea, Lara, you guys won’t work,” Chris said softly. “JC’s emotional, he’s deep, he’s talented. But he’s also just a guy. If he didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be here in Florida right now. Trust me on this one, Lara. He wants to be with YOU. No one else.”

“Oh, look, Justin’s here,” Chris commented as they pulled into JC’s driveway. Lara carefully hid her gifts for JC inside a backpack Chris had found in his trunk.

“Will we see you on Christmas Day?” Lara asked as they got out of the car.

“Didn’t JC tell you? I’m having everyone over for Christmas Eve tomorrow night.”

“No.” Lara unlocked the door with the key JC had given her.

“Oh…maybe because I didn’t tell him yet,” Chris mused. Lara giggled.

She heard voice coming from the kitchen. “Shh,” she whispered, tiptoeing down the hall.

“Explain it to me, Jayce,” Justin was saying. “She’s nice and all…I like her…but Lara’s just…normal.”

Lara closed her eyes, her heart slipping up into her throat. “Shh,” Chris murmured in her ear, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He pulled her back against his chest.

They heard a glass slam down. “For God’s sake, Justin, I don’t WANT a Britney. I want LARA. She’s smart and sexy and kind and funny and she sees past the bullshit. She’s not a PART of the bullshit. What more would I want?”

Chris hugged Lara tighter as he felt her tears drop down onto his hands. “See?” He whispered, kissing her cheek.

“Any other problems you have with the woman I love, Justin?” JC continued.

Lara heard Chris gasp behind her and she grinned. She hurriedly wiped the tears away and winked at Chris. “In here, Chris. I guess JC and Justin are out back. I always wanted to do it on a kitchen counter.”

“WHAT?” They heard JC scream as Justin began to laugh.

“We really didn’t know what to get you,” Joey began the next night, as they sat around in Chris living room opening gifts.

“I didn’t expect anything,” Lara told him.

“HOWEVER,” Chris continued, “We did some research. You got my gift yesterday.” Lara looked at him in confusion from her seat on JC’s lap. Chris pulled out a piece of paper from his jeans pocket. “Question of the day…if you could get anything from NSYNC, what would it be?”

“Oh, NO,” Lara moaned, hiding her face in her hands. She remembered this. Someone had posted this question to the list WAY before she had met JC.

“Read it!” Justin yelled. He turned to Lara. “He told us not to buy you anything…that he had an idea. Read it,” he repeated to Chris.

“Okay, our girl here said that she would love to spend a day with me, just hanging around. We did that yesterday. From JOEY, she just wants a big hug, because she thinks he looks huggable.”

Joey smiled, pleased. “C’mere, girl.” Lara sighed and crawled off of JC. She walked over to Joey, who enveloped her in his long arms.

“Mmm…I was right.” She laughed up at him and he kissed her forehead.

“Hey. Quit enjoying that. Both of you,” JC snapped, and everyone laughed. Lara returned to her seat on JC’s lap.

“Who’s next?” Justin asked eagerly.

“Well…” Chris consulted his paper. Suddenly Lara remembered EVERYTHING she had said, and she buried her face in JC’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” JC asked.

“Just kill me now,” she whimpered, and Chris laughed out loud.

“Oh…let’s look at Lance. Let’s see. She said, “Lance Bass? What WOULDN’T I want from him? How much time do I have, and how much time has to be vertical?” Lucky you, Lansten.”

Justin and Joey laughed, Lance blushed, and JC pinched Lara’s arm. “What?”

“Lance was my favorite,” came a muffled reply from his shoulder. “You weren’t hot yet.”

“I wasn’t HOT yet?” JC repeated.

“During the Making the Video of “Pop” you took some kind of drug and you were suddenly hot. It’s not my fault!” Lara insisted. Justin howled with laughter.

“What’s Justin’s?” Joey asked. Chris looked down again.

“Well, actually, he has to share his with JC. She wants dance lessons. Or at least a chance to dance WITH them.”

“You already danced with me,” JC pointed out. “At that club, the night we met.”

“You wanted a dance?” Justin was suddenly serious. “Everything in the world you could say…and you wanted a dance?”

“Well…I…” Lara stammered. “I mean, in rehearsal, do you two actually WATCH yourselves? No offense, Joey, Chris, Lance, but Josh and Justin can MOVE. And I always dreamt of being able to groove with you. I did, with Josh, so that’s fine…if you don’t want to,” she finished.

“I want to,” Justin told her. “Really. We’ll go out one night next week. Just you and me.”

Lara looked up at JC. “Do you mind?”

“No. Of course not.” He pretended to pull at the neck of the sweater she had given him. “I’m not threatened by the idea of you going on a date with Justin Timberlake. No…not at all.”

Justin swatted at his leg. “You’re a dork. She’s safe with me.”

“The last girl that Justin said that about just had twins,” Joey told Lara, and Justin swatted at him.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go in and eat,” Chris announced. They all got up and went into the kitchen, where Chris had set out the fixings for tacos.

Lara sat on a stool, watching the five men laugh and joke around. JC paid attention to her, but she didn’t say much. She had been so quiet that she was gone for almost five minutes before anyone even noticed. Chris slipped away and peeked into the living room. Lara was seated in front of the Christmas tree, wiping away tears. He tiptoed back down the hall. “Jayce,” he said softly. Joey stopped talking.

“What?” JC asked.

“I think…go into the living room and console your woman. She’s…well, she’s crying.”

“Crying?” JC dropped his hard-shell taco and hurried down the hall.

Lara tried to wipe away the tears. “Hi. I…uh…I wasn’t hungry and…”

“You’re allowed to miss him, remember?” JC told her softly. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms.

“I just…being in a group of friends like that…I remember so much…and Josh, you know how I feel about you…but part of me will always be with him. He was my best friend…and I lost him without ever getting to say goodbye,” Lara sniffled. “I made it a point to say I love you every day when he would go to work…just in case something like that happened. At least I have that.”

“Yeah, you do.” JC kissed her forehead as she sobbed on his shoulder. He held her for a moment, then softly started to sing. “As close as the sea is to the seashore…the tide still rises twice a day. That’s just the ocean’s way of getting closer…closer…as close as today is to tomorrow…at midnight they can finally touch. ‘Cause every minute brings them that much closer…closer…”

“What’s going on?” Justin and Joey crept up behind Chris, who was peeking into the living room. A lump was in his throat as he listened to JC sing.

“Shh,” he whispered, glaring at them. Joey leaned against Chris, and Justin leaned on him.

“So on this silent night, I call your name and suddenly all time and space between us disappear…I see your face in firelight, I hold you close in memory, and even though I know you’re gone, I know you’re here…” JC wiped tears from Lara’s cheeks. “As close as the glow is to the ember…you’ve always been a part of me…now living in my heart you’re even closer…closer…as sure as there’s snowfall in December, your love lives on in everything…summer, winter, fall or spring…every thought of you will bring us closer…closer…”

“Josh,” Lara sighed, snuggling closer to him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

Joey made a noise suspiciously like a sniffle. Justin wiped his nose on the back of Joey’s shirt. Chris turned around and quietly shoved them back into the kitchen.

“I mean…he was amazing, Josh! I can’t believe someone can dance like that…be all sexy and fun and just crazy, and look so good…besides you, of course,” Lara gushed over her coffee cup. “It was insane! I’ve never been to a club like that before…and everyone looked at me because I was with HIM.” Lara realized she was babbling and looked down.

JC smiled with amusement. “So I take it you had a good time with Justin?”

“Incredible. Thanks for letting me go with him.”

“I didn’t LET you do anything. You’re a grown woman. You do what you want.” He raised an eyebrow. “Does Britney have some competition?”

“Hell, no.” Lara got up, walked around the table, and plopped down into JC’s lap. “I’m all yours.”

“This goodbye thing is getting really old,” JC said softly as they stood near Lara’s gate. He wore a pair of sunglasses and a big hat. “I wish…I wish you’d move down here. You could get a job if you wanted, and…I’d love to have you here whenever I’m home.”

“That’s the thing, Josh. You’re never home. I’d be sitting around here just like I do in Pennsylvania. The only difference is that in Pennsylvania, I have family and friends around.”

“You could make friends here,” JC said, pouting. Lara laughed through her tears.

“Have you been training with Justin, learning how to pout?” She asked, and JC smiled.

“God…I love you.” He kissed her forehead.

“I love you, too, Josh…but it’s still so soon. We haven’t known each other all that long.”

“I know. Only a month.” JC had thought about it all a lot. “Over a month. I just…I feel right with you.”

“Will I see you at Valentine’s Day?” Lara whispered. He nodded.

“If I have to kill someone to get to you, I will,” he promised. He kissed her softly, and she snuggled up against his chest to cry until her flight was called.

“God, Josh, I love you.” Lara gave him one last hug, then hurried to the gate.

About three weeks passed, and it was rare that JC didn’t call every other day. He emailed Lara constantly, and she missed him more than she could bear. By now her coworkers knew about her famous boyfriend, and they constantly asked about him, thinking they were being polite. Of course, they were only bringing him even more to the forefront of her mind, and she only got more lonely and depressed. She wondered if it would be this lonely if she was in Florida, waiting for him to come home. She thought long and hard about it, and finally called Chris.

“Chris...it’s Lara.”

“Hey, chickie!” Chris said cheerfully. She had the cellphone numbers for all the guys, just in case something would happen.

“I need to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you...do you think it’s too early for me to move to Florida?”

“Too early for what?”

“For me and Josh. Our relationship.”

“Honey, listen to me. Josh loves you. He keeps talking about how he wishes you’d be at home every time he gets back to Florida.”

“Really?” Lara whispered.

“Trust me.”

Justin’s birthday was a Thursday, and Lara was planning on coming down to Florida the night before and staying through the weekend. She decided to talk to Josh then, to find out if he really wanted her to stay around, to stay with him. If so, then she’d start making the arrangements. She only had one life to live, and there was no reason for her to hold back.

Plans were halted, however, when she realized something. She was late. She and her late husband had tried to get pregnant, and had been told by her doctor that for some odd reason, it just wasn’t happening. Before they could get more tests down, he had passed away. Lara knew it was ridiculous, but she bought a test anyway.

“Yello?” Chris said.

“Chris?”

“Lara?”

“Shh! Is Josh there?”

“Yeah...we’re in the studio, actually. Hold on, I’ll go into the hallway.” Chris put his phone down. Thankfully JC was recording his tracks while Justin, Lance, Chris and Joey sat behind the sound board. “I need to take this call, guys. I’ll be right back.” He went out of the studio and into the hall. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Lara sniffled.

“Liar. What’s wrong, honey?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“You’re...” Chris stared at the phone. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“YES, I’m sure. Do you think I’d have called if I wasn’t sure?”

“Does JC...”

“No. That’s why I called you. I need to know how you think he’ll react.”

“Jesus, Lara, I don’t know.”

“I need to know, Chris. If he’s gonna freak and hate me, I’ll just break up with him and not tell him.”

“That’s stupid and you know it. He has a right to know, Lara. I think he’ll be okay with it.” Chris sighed. JC...a father.

“I’m so scared, Chris,” Lara said, sobbing.

“Don’t be scared, Lara. It’s okay. We’ll just tell JC the baby’s mine,” he said, and Lara giggled slightly.

“Okay, Jayce, that was good,” Joey said through the intercom.

“I’m gonna grab some water.” JC took off the headphones and went into the hallway. He saw Chris talking on the phone, and started to walk the other way so as not to eavesdrop. He froze as he heard Chris’ words.

“Don’t be scared, Lara, it’s okay. We’ll just tell JC the baby’s mine.”

JC ducked back out of the hallway. Chris was talking to Lara...he had heard Chris say her name. Lara was pregnant. With Chris’ baby. Chris, his friend. JC leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. He should have known.

“Yeah, that would go over well,” Lara said, giggling. “JC’s jealous of you already.”

“Me? Hardly. Look, call him tonight. We should all be home. Talk to him then.”

“I can’t tell him over the phone,” Lara said. “I do have to call him about coming down for Justin’s birthday...I’ll call him anyway.”

“Okay. Hang in there, girlie. It’ll be okay.” Chris slapped his phone closed. He sighed. JC. A father.

“JC, where’s Chris? We’re ready for him,” Joey said when JC came back into the studio.

“He’s...uh...in the hallway. On the phone.” JC sat down and covered his eyes with one hand, massaging his temples.

“You okay, JC?” Justin asked.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Oh, hi, Lara.” JC stretched out on his bed, staring at the ceiling he couldn’t see. It was ten o’clock, and he had been laying on his bed in the dark for hours. He couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it, but he had heard Chris clear as day.

“Am I bothering you?”

“Well, I was getting ready to go out,” JC lied. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk about when you want me to fly in. For Justin’s party.”

“Look, Lara, I don’t think it’s a good idea if you come down for that,” Justin said, his heart tearing at the words.

“What?” Lara whispered. “Josh...”

“I think we need some time apart. This is getting pretty serious pretty fast, and I need some space.”

“Josh...” JC could hear the tears in her voice. “Josh, I love you, and I’ll do whatever you want, but...”

“Don’t tell me you love me, okay? Anything but that,” JC said.

“JC, I need to see you. We need to talk about something,” Lara sobbed.

“I already know about what you have to tell me, Lara. And it’s something you’ll have to deal with on your own.” JC hung up the phone, burying his face in his pillow.

Chris pounded on JC’s door two days later. “JC, let me in! JC, open this damn door!”

JC sighed and threw the door open. “Yes?”

“I’ve been calling you for two fucking days, JC. Justin’s been freaking because you won’t answer your phone, or your pager, or your email. What’s going on?”

“I want nothing to do with you, Chris. We have that charity thing to do next week, and I’ll do that, but otherwise, please leave me alone.”

“JC, what’s wrong with you?” Chris stared at him. “You broke up with Lara...she’s hysterical...”

“Then why don’t you go back to Pennsylvania and console her, Chris, if you’re so close to her?” JC snapped.

“JC, she’s...”

“Pregnant. I know. And she can deal with it. You can help her.” JC slammed the door in Chris’ face.

Their charity performance was almost a disaster. Thankfully they were performing “Gone” and JC didn’t have to do much but harmonize. He didn’t want to be there, and he did NOT want to perform with Chris. He made sure his stool was as far from Chris’ as possible on-stage, and he ignored Chris during their warm-up session and rehearsal.

“JC, man, what’s your problem?” Justin asked backstage. JC looked at him. He couldn’t talk to Justin about it. At one time, Justin had been his best friend in the group, but now he and Chris were tight. He couldn’t trust Justin.

“Nothing,” JC muttered. He brushed past Justin and went to remove his makeup backstage.

“Hey, C, me and Chris are going clubbing. You in?” Joey asked.

“No, thank you,” JC said, studying himself in the mirror. He couldn’t talk to Joey...Joey and Chris were bar buddies.

“Suit yourself. Later.” Joey left the dressing room. Lance walked in and sat down next to JC at the mirror.

“Wanna tell me about it?” Lance asked. Nothing in his voice but mild curiosity. Of them all, Lance was the least judgmental. JC sighed and looked at Lance in the mirror.

“Lara’s pregnant and Chris is the father,” JC said finally.

“You’re sure?” Lance said softly.

“I heard him say it myself.”

Lance stood and clapped JC on the back. “Get cleaned up. I think you need a drink.”

“What did you do?” Joey asked Chris three days later. They had met for dinner at one of Joey’s favorite Italian restaurants.

“I have no clue,” Chris sighed, gulping at his beer.

“I mean, I called Jayce and asked if he wanted to come along tonight, and he hung up on me as soon as I mentioned your name!”

“I have no clue, Joey,” Chris repeated. He sighed. “Lara’s pregnant, Joe.”

“What?” Joey whispered.

“Lara’s pregnant...and JC has deserted her. He won’t talk to her, won’t support her. He keeps telling ME to go help her. I just don’t get it.”

“Me either,” Joey replied. “That just doesn’t sound like JC.”

“That prick isn’t coming to my house,” JC snapped. Justin carefully pulled the empty wine bottle from JC’s fingers.

“Jayce, c’mon. It’s my twenty-first birthday. I want us all to be together. Your house is a central place to meet,” Justin pleaded. He had no clue about his surprise party. He thought that he was going for dinner with Britney and the rest of NSYNC. “Please?”

“I refuse to talk to him.” JC moodily stared at a painting on his wall. “Prick.”

“JC, what happened?” Justin asked gently. JC had been in a drunken, angry stupor for the past three days.

“He fucked my girlfriend, THAT’S what happened,” JC said bitterly.

“No. Chris wouldn’t do that. LARA wouldn’t do that,” Justin insisted.

“I heard him talking to her about it,” JC sighed.

“C’mon, Jayce. Let’s get you cleaned up and into the shower,” Justin said, helping JC to his feet. “I’ll make sure Chris stays away from you.”

“You were gonna take off work anyway...why not come to Colorado and visit me?” Jenn asked. “It will help to distract you.”

“I know,” Lara sighed, laying down and pulling Molly onto her chest. She stroked Molly behind the ears. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Jenn.”

“JC Chasez is a jackass,” Jenn said decisively. “You’re better off without him.”

“Yeah,” Lara said with a total lack of conviction. Her doorbell rang and she sighed. “Someone’s at the door, Jenn. I’ll talk to you later.” Lara hung up the phone and went to her front door. She peered through the blinds and gasped, quickly opening the door. “Chris?”

“Hi. I was bored and decided to come to Pennsylvania and see if you wanted to go out for dinner.” Chris smiled kindly and Lara immediately started to cry.”

“Oh...Chris...”

“Shh.” Chris came inside and put his arms around her.

Later that evening, after Chris had tucked Lara into bed, he called Joey. “Just wanted you to know I’m safe and all.”

“How’s Lara?” Joey asked.

“Miserable. He gave her NO explanation, Joey. NONE.” Chris frowned as both of Lara’s cats climbed onto his lap. “God, I miss my dogs.”

“They’re fine. Right here with me,” Joey told him. “Chris, do you want me to try and talk to him?”

“No, Joe. When JC’s ready to explain why he’s being such a dickhead, I’ll listen to him.”

When Lara got up the next morning, she smelled coffee brooding. She padded downstairs in her bare feet. “Hey.”

“I think you should call in sick today and hang out with me,” Chris suggested.

“That’s a great idea,” she replied, picking up the phone.

After breakfast, they snuggled on the sofa and watched television. “Lara, do you want me to try to talk to him for you?” Chris asked gently. “I can, you know. I’ll MAKE him listen.”

“No, Chris.” Lara laid her head on his shoulder, placing a hand over her still flat stomach. “If he wants nothing to do with us, he wants nothing to do with us.”

“I don’t understand, Lara. He loved you. I don’t get it.” Chris shook his head.

“I thought he did, too, Chris. But obviously he didn’t love me enough.”

“I’m gonna go get Justin now,” Britney said on the evening of Justin’s birthday party. Chris had gotten back in town the day before, and Joey and Lance had skillfully kept him away from JC as everyone arrived at JC’s house. “Y’all wait here.” She danced out the door.

“JC, maybe you should take it easy,” Lance said softly. He looked pointedly at JC’s wine glass, which had already been refilled repeatedly.

“Maybe you should fuck off, Lance,” JC snapped. Lance looked at him in disgust.

“God...maybe Lara’s better off without you.” Lance turned on his heel and left JC to talk to someone else.

JC sighed. “Maybe she is,” he whispered to himself.

Justin was totally shocked when he walked in the door. “Man! You guys got me!” He said happily. He walked around greeting everyone, giving Chris a big hug.

“Happy birthday, buddy,” Chris said. He stepped back and handed Justin an envelope. “Lara sent you this and her love.”

“You saw her?” Justin drew him aside.

“Yeah, I was up there for a little while. She’s...she’s pregnant, Justin.”

“Yeah, I know. JC told me.” Justin studied Chris for a long moment. “Is there anything else you wanna tell me, Chris?”

Chris looked at Justin strangely. “Um, no, except don’t get too drunk.”

“Right.” Justin smiled at Chris, then moved on to someone else.

Chris watched JC step out onto his back deck. He remembered his promise to Lara, that he wouldn’t say anything to JC. But he also remembered the look of pain on her face. He sighed and followed JC.

“Chris...” Lance began.

“Back off, Lance,” Chris growled. He stepped out onto the deck. “JC, we need to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” JC wove drunkenly as he turned around. “Go away.”

“Why did you let her down, JC? Why? She trusted you with her heart, with her soul...she loves you so damn much.”

“So damn much she cheated on me?” JC snapped.

“What?” Chris was shocked into silence.

“You guys, don’t get into this. Not now.” Justin, Joey and Lance stood in the doorway. “It’s my birthday.”

“Who did she cheat on you with, JC?” Chris asked.

JC laughed. “You’re so funny, Chris.”

“JC, WHO?”

“You, dammit!” Justin yelled. Chris’ mouth fell open. Joey’s mouth fell open.

“ME?” Chris whispered. “You think she...and I...”

“I heard you on the phone that day in the studio, Chris. You said that she shouldn’t worry, that you’d tell me the baby was yours,” JC said bitterly, draining his wine glass. “I need a drink.”

“JC, you fucking bastard!” Chris yelled. “How could you doubt me...doubt HER? Lara loves you so damn much. I was joking, trying to make her laugh. She called me to tell me about the baby, worried sick that you’d leave her. I guess she was right. That baby is YOURS, JC. And you may never get the chance to see it, because I don’t know if she’ll forgive you.” Chris brushed past the others and headed back into the party.

JC leaned on the railing, holding on tight. “My...baby?”

“Oh, shit, Jayce,” Justin whispered.

“God...Lara...” JC crumpled into a pile on the deck, Lance rushing to his side.

“And then I was thinking I might use Precious Moments stuff. I love Precious Moments,” Lara said into the phone as she gave Molly and Harley more water. “I thought it would be good for a boy or a girl, you know?”

“I think that would look soooo cute!” Stacey said. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“Well, I have seven more months to go,” Lara reminded her. “I have a while to get it ready.” She patted the very slight bulge of her stomach.

“And you haven’t heard anything?”

“No,” Lara said softly. “Chris hasn’t even called or emailed. I know they’re busy, though…they’ve been doing a lot of awards shows and charity stuff.”

“Right.”

“I think I might change my number.” Lara quickly changed the subject away from JC. “I’ve been getting these weird calls. Even on the answering machine when I’m not home. No one’s there, I can hear music in the background, and then they hang up.”

“Odd,” Stacey agreed as Lara’s doorbell rang. It was a Saturday afternoon.

“Who can that be? Everyone I know is busy on Saturdays.” Lara went to the door and opened it. She let out a small scream and dropped the phone. She picked it up with shaking hands. “Stace? I’ll call you back. Lance Bass and Chris Kirkpatrick are on my front porch.” Lara hung up the phone and opened the door.

Lance smiled at her bashfully. “Um, hi.”

“Hi.” Lara looked at Chris. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Chris looked at his shoes.

“Well, now that we’ve covered hi…” Lara rubbed her stomach unconsciously. “Wanna come in?”

“Thanks.” Lance came in with Chris on his heels. They sat on the sofa and Molly jumped up onto Lance’s lap. “Well, hi there. Who are you?”

“That’s Molly,” Lara told him.

“Hi, Molly.” Lance scratched behind her ears and she curled up on his lap. Lance smiled down at her.

“What are you guys doing here?” Lara asked finally.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact with you, Lara,” Chris said.

“It’s okay, Chris. Your loyalties are to…JC.”

“My loyalties are to my friends, and you’re my friend, too, Lara,” Chris said. “I should have called or something…but…it’s been weird.”

“That’s a good way to put it,” Lance said.

“You guys wanna start making sense?” Lara asked.

Chris sighed. “Um…ya see…JC? He…uh…he thought…well…it’s funny, actually.”

“JC thought you were pregnant with Chris’ baby,” Lance finally said. Lara’s mouth fell open.

“He WHAT?”

“Yeah…uh…remember when you called and told me about the baby? I was in the hall at the recording studio, and I said to you about telling him it was mine? Well, that’s all he heard. He…uh…”

“He thought you and I…” Lara broke off and laughed. “That’s insane.”

“Hey!” Chris said, insulted.

“Not like that, Chris. You’re my friend. I love you that way and that’s it.” Lara’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, honey…” Chris put his arm around her and pulled her head onto his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“How could he doubt my love for him? I did NOTHING to make him think I would ever cheat on him. And you…you’re one of his best friends!”

“JC’s been screwed over in the past. Burnt pretty bad,” Lance told her.

“That doesn’t excuse this. I bet he treated you like shit, didn’t he?” Lara asked Chris, who nodded. “Rat bastard.”

“We’re in New York to do the Today Show tomorrow,” Lance said. “That’s why we stopped by now. I thought you might want to come up and…”

“No. Come up and talk to him? Make up? Make everything peachy? No, thank you. If he thinks I would fuck around on him, then obviously he doesn’t love me.” Lara stood up. “Fuck him.”

“Lara…he DOES love you. He’s been miserable. Drunk off his ass all the time, even after we set him straight,” Chris told her.

“That’s the cowardly thing to do. Drink to forget your problems.” Lara glared at them, though she wasn’t mad at them. “My late husband was a recovering alcoholic. I don’t feel any kind of sympathy for anyone who feels the need to use alcohol as a substitute for something missing in their life. My husband was smart enough to realize that. Apparently JC has not.” She sighed. “I appreciate you guys coming up here. But I’m not running back to him. If anyone is gonna run back to someone and grovel, it will be JC Chasez.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to come along?” Lance asked as Lara prepared the spare bedroom for him. She was going to sleep on the sofa, and Chris would use her bed. “You could be Chris’ date.”

“THAT would go over well.” Lara smiled as Molly jumped up onto Lance’s pillow. “I’m not ready to see him yet.”

“I understand,” Lance replied.

Chris did a flying leap onto the bed, making Molly meow in protest. “Hey, let’s all sleep in the big bed,” he suggested. “Have a big orgy. It’s not like anyone can get pregnant or anything.”

Lara laughed. “You’re impossible!”

“Thank you.”

“Chris, my idea of an orgy does NOT include you.” Lance kissed Lara’s forehead. “Now, get out of here. We have to be up by the ass-crack of dawn to catch that special flight to New York.”

“Good night, Lance.” Lara kissed his cheek and pulled Chris out of the room.

“Sleep in here with me,” Chris said, holding onto her hand. “I’ll stay on top of the covers. You shouldn’t be sleeping on a sofa.”

“You’re NOT sleeping on top of the covers. It’s cold.” Lara followed Chris into her bedroom and climbed onto the bed. “I trust you.”

“I appreciate that. I imagine you’re not really into trusting people right now.” Chris climbed in next to her.

“No,” Lara sighed. “I just…I don’t understand.”

“JC is a lot more insecure then anyone knows,” Chris told her. “He gets paranoid easily.”

“Then he never should have said he loved me,” Lara said sadly. “I believed in that love.”

“Honey, he DOES love you. He’s miserable.” Chris touched her cheek. “You should let him grovel. A groveling JC Chasez isn’t a common occurrence, and always fun to watch.”

Lara giggled and snuggled closer to Chris. “You’re a good friend, Chris.”

“I try.” Chris kissed her cheek.

“You two look like shit,” Justin commented as Chris and Lance entered the makeup room at NBC Studios. They were doing the Sunday morning edition of the Today Show.

“Thank you, Justin,” Lance grumbled. “We had to get up early to catch a private flight.”

“From Florida?” Justin asked.

“No, Pennsylvania.” Chris replied, sitting down in the makeup chair. “We stopped to see Lara.”

“Lara?” JC whispered. “Is she okay?”

“Physically, she’s fine. Both she and the baby are great. Emotionally, however…”

“She’s a little bitter,” Lance finished. “A little pissed off.”

“JC, have you even TRIED to call her?” Joey asked.

“Yeah…when I’ve had a few drinks. I call and she answers, and I can’t do it. I hang up.” JC sighed. “She probably hates me.”

“Not probably, DEFINITELY,” Chris informed him. “But you need to at least offer financial support, JC. Her husband’s life insurance paid off her mortgage and that’s it.”

“I’ll call. When we’re back home,” JC promised.

“Hello?” Lara quickly turned down the stove as she answered the phone.

“Hi, Lara.”

Lara almost dropped the phone in her pot of boiling water. “Josh.”

“How are you? How’s the baby?”

“We’re both fine.” Lara sat down on a chair. “How are you?”

“Busy.” JC paused. “Lonely. I miss you, Lara.”

“You weren’t missing me too much when you thought I was having sex with Chris!” Lara said angrily.

“I’m sorry, Lara! I heard him and jumped to conclusions. I love you, and…”

“Josh, one of the most important elements of love is trust. You couldn’t trust me, therefore I don’t think you really loved me.”

“I did, Lara, and I still do,” JC insisted. “I was stupid and wrong…and I want to be there for you and the baby.”

Lara sighed. “I’m not gonna say no to your support, JC, but I don’t want you thinking everything is right between us. You dumped me with no explanation. You couldn’t even find the guts to approach me OR Chris about what you thought happened. You…you didn’t believe in us enough.”

“Lara…”

“I need some time, JC. Call back in a few weeks, okay?”

“I love you.”

Lara blinked back tears. “Goodbye, Josh.” She hung up.

Lara tried not to think of JC, but it wasn’t easy. Not only because of the baby, but because she seemed to see them everywhere she turned. She ignored the American Music Awards, but Chris called to tell her about it anyway, making her laugh with his descriptions of everyone. Chris called every other day, for JC as much as himself. JC had started sending Lara checks every other week, and they were deposited, but otherwise there was no contact between them.

Lara was flipping through the channels one night when she heard, “And the Grammy Award goes to…NSYNC, for Gone.” She smiled as she watched Justin scream and hug Lance. Everyone was ecstatic. She felt her heart pound as JC gave a vaguely familiar blond a passionate kiss before heading up on stage.

Lara didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Chris called her at work the next day. “Got a minute?”

Lara sighed. “Who is she?”

“That’s…well…that’s Dani.”

“Dani,” Lara repeated. “WAIT a minute. YOUR Dani?”

“Yeah,” Chris said softly. “Apparently they ran into each other at a restaurant a few weeks ago and hit it off. I didn’t think Dani even LIKED JC all that much before.”

“I see.” Lara blinked back tears. “I’m sorry, Chris. It’s gotta be hard for you, seeing the two of them together.”

“Lara, you’re unreal. I know you’re depressed, but you feel bad for ME.” Chris chuckled. “You’re one in a million.”

“But not the right one in a million for Josh, I guess.”

“I thought you were mad at him.”

“I am. It’s just…he…he replaced me so quickly,” Lara said sadly.

“Honey, he’s TRYING to replace you,” Chris told her. “Dani’s great, but she’ll never mean as much to Jayce as you do.”

“As I DID,” Lara corrected him. “Congratulations on the Grammy,” Lara said, changing the subject.

“Thanks. We were REALLY shocked. I don’t think JC’s feet have touched the ground since we heard them call our name.”

“And from now on, you’ll be announced as Grammy Award winners NSYNC.”

“Yeah,” Chris sighed blissfully, and Lara giggled. “Why don’t you come down for a visit, Lara? Spend a week or two in Florida.”

“Chris, I can’t.”

“JC won’t be here. He’s doing some stuff out in L.A. for the next three weeks. I miss you, and Lance and Joey keep asking about you.”

“I don’t know…”

“Lara, I know what winter in Pennsylvania is like. Get your ass down here where it’s sunny and warm!”

Lara laughed. “Okay, Chris.”

“Cool. I’ll call and book you a flight.”

Lara laughed at the giant stuffed bear with legs that was waiting for her as she entered the airport. “Did you buy him a ticket for my return flight?”

“No. He’s staying at my house for when you and the baby visit.” Chris peeked around the bear. “You look great.”

Lara blushed and hugged him. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too. Let’s get going. Lance wants me to call after you’re settled in.” Chris gave Lara’s stomach a tender rub.

Lara unpacked as Chris called Lance. “He wants to take us out to dinner.” Chris leaned in the doorway of the guestroom. “Actually, he wants to take YOU out for dinner, but I'll convince him to pay for me, too.”

“Cool,” she replied, sighing.

Chris came over to hug her. “Go ahead and cry. I know you want to.”

“Every time I think I’m over him…I lose it,” Lara sobbed.

“

“Lara, you loved him. He’s the father of your baby. You STILL love him. You can’t get over someone just like that.” Chris kissed her head. “But trust me…every day it will get a little easier, and then one day you’ll realize there are other people out there worth loving…and who will love you in return.” Chris kissed her head again. “I’ll leave you alone so you can finish in here.”

Lara watched him leave, deep in thought.

“I had a really good time with you, Chris,” Lara said shyly as they stood in the airport. “This vacation…it was just what I needed.”

“I’m glad.” Chris hugged her, stroking her hair.

“And it was great to see Joey and Lance and Justin.”

“Yeah. They worry about you, too.”

“But not like you do,” Lara said, pulling back. Chris blushed and actually stammered.

“Yeah, well, you know, years of being the big brother and all.”

“Chris, I can’t promise you anything,” Lara said softly. “My heart was broken, and it’s really hard for me to trust anyone else with it. But I…I do care about you.”

“Lara, I would never rush you into ANYTHING.” Chris picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “And I know you still love JC. But I…I just think you’re spectacular, and I want to take care of you.”

“Oh, Chris,” Lara said. She lightly kissed his lips. “I need to go.”

“Come back in a few months,” Chris begged. “For like a whole month this time.”

“I don’t know,” Lara said. “It depends on what the doctor says.”

“Call me when you get there,” Chris said, and Lara nodded. They hesitated, then shared a brief kiss before she went to her plane.

“Hello?”

“Lara…it’s JC.”

“Oh, hi.” Lara sat down on her bed, closing her eyes. “How are you?”

“Good. How’s everything with you?”

“We’re doing fine. Healthy and everything.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Lara paused. “Congratulations on the Grammy.”

“Thank you.” Lara could hear the delight in JC’s voice, even after three months. “We were so surprised.”

“You guys totally deserved it, Josh. That song is amazing.”

“Thank you. Justin gets the credit for it, you know, but I think we all made it good.”

“I think you’re right.”

“So…um…the reason I’m calling. We need to do this thing in Europe for a couple of weeks…and I was wondering if you just wanted my bank to automatically send you checks or if you want me to send them from over there or…”

“It’s okay, JC. You can skip a few weeks. I’ve been saving everything you sent, and I’ll be good. Honestly. Besides…a…friend basically decorated the nursery for me.”

“Really?” JC asked. “That was nice.”

“Yeah,” Lara said absently, thinking of how she had come home from work one day and found an entire nursery waiting to be unpacked. Chris had found out what she wanted, and had bought everything. He and Joey had come up the next week to put it all together. “JC, what’s going on with you and Dani?”

“I, well, um, you know about that?”

“I saw you on the Grammy Awards, remember? I was just wondering.”

“It’s nothing serious or anything. Why?”

“Because I was thinking of starting to date someone else, and I wanted to know what was going on. We have a third person to think of, and if you’re going to be jumping around from girl to girl, I think I have a right to know.” Lara knew that made no sense whatsoever, but she needed to know.

“I’m not jumping around. We have a good time together,” JC said. He sighed. “So, uh, you’re seeing someone?”

“I might be. He’s really busy right now, so…”

“Right. Well, um, I need to go. Please take care of yourself.”

“You, too. Have a safe trip.”

“Thank you. Bye, Lara.”

“Bye, JC.” Lara hung up the phone and immediately redialed.

“You have reached the Kirkpatrick Love Shack. If you…”

“Chris?” Lara sobbed.

“Lara? What’s wrong, honey?”

“I just…JC called. To tell me you were going to Europe.”

“Oh. Are you okay?”

“I…why didn’t YOU tell me you were going, Chris?”

“It slipped my mind. I don’t want to go and I didn’t even want to think about it until I had to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just…I haven’t talked to him in so long.” Lara sniffled. “I asked him about Dani, and he said it’s not serious.”

“It isn’t. I know she’d like it to be more, but they’re both so busy that they can’t see each other much anyway.”

“I told him I might be seeing someone else,” Lara said shyly, wiping away her tears.

“You…you did?”

“Yeah. I thought he had a right to know.”

“I want to come visit when we’re back.”

“Of course you can, Chris. You know that.”

“I want to convince you to move down here.”

“Chris…”

“Just think about it, okay? JC is going to want to see his baby…and it would be so much easier if you were here. If you were here, we could all take care of you the way you deserve.”

“Chris…”

“Stop saying my name and think about it, okay?”

Lara giggled. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“I had a really good time with you, Chris,” Lara said shyly as they stood in the airport. “This vacation…it was just what I needed.”

“I’m glad.” Chris hugged her, stroking her hair.

“And it was great to see Joey and Lance and Justin.”

“Yeah. They worry about you, too.”

“But not like you do,” Lara said, pulling back. Chris blushed and actually stammered.

“Yeah, well, you know, years of being the big brother and all.”

“Chris, I can’t promise you anything,” Lara said softly. “My heart was broken, and it’s really hard for me to trust anyone else with it. But I…I do care about you.”

“Lara, I would never rush you into ANYTHING.” Chris picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “And I know you still love JC. But I…I just think you’re spectacular, and I want to take care of you.”

“Oh, Chris,” Lara said. She lightly kissed his lips. “I need to go.”

“Come back in a few months,” Chris begged. “For like a whole month this time.”

“I don’t know,” Lara said. “It depends on what the doctor says.”

“Call me when you get there,” Chris said, and Lara nodded. They hesitated, then shared a brief kiss before she went to her plane.

“Hello?”

“Lara…it’s JC.”

“Oh, hi.” Lara sat down on her bed, closing her eyes. “How are you?”

“Good. How’s everything with you?”

“We’re doing fine. Healthy and everything.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Lara paused. “Congratulations on the Grammy.”

“Thank you.” Lara could hear the delight in JC’s voice, even after three months. “We were so surprised.”

“You guys totally deserved it, Josh. That song is amazing.”

“Thank you. Justin gets the credit for it, you know, but I think we all made it good.”

“I think you’re right.”

“So…um…the reason I’m calling. We need to do this thing in Europe for a couple of weeks…and I was wondering if you just wanted my bank to automatically send you checks or if you want me to send them from over there or…”

“It’s okay, JC. You can skip a few weeks. I’ve been saving everything you sent, and I’ll be good. Honestly. Besides…a…friend basically decorated the nursery for me.”

“Really?” JC asked. “That was nice.”

“Yeah,” Lara said absently, thinking of how she had come home from work one day and found an entire nursery waiting to be unpacked. Chris had found out what she wanted, and had bought everything. He and Joey had come up the next week to put it all together. “JC, what’s going on with you and Dani?”

“I, well, um, you know about that?”

“I saw you on the Grammy Awards, remember? I was just wondering.”

“It’s nothing serious or anything. Why?”

“Because I was thinking of starting to date someone else, and I wanted to know what was going on. We have a third person to think of, and if you’re going to be jumping around from girl to girl, I think I have a right to know.” Lara knew that made no sense whatsoever, but she needed to know.

“I’m not jumping around. We have a good time together,” JC said. He sighed. “So, uh, you’re seeing someone?”

“I might be. He’s really busy right now, so…”

“Right. Well, um, I need to go. Please take care of yourself.”

“You, too. Have a safe trip.”

“Thank you. Bye, Lara.”

“Bye, JC.” Lara hung up the phone and immediately redialed.

“You have reached the Kirkpatrick Love Shack. If you…”

“Chris?” Lara sobbed.

“Lara? What’s wrong, honey?”

“I just…JC called. To tell me you were going to Europe.”

“Oh. Are you okay?”

“I…why didn’t YOU tell me you were going, Chris?”

“It slipped my mind. I don’t want to go and I didn’t even want to think about it until I had to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just…I haven’t talked to him in so long.” Lara sniffled. “I asked him about Dani, and he said it’s not serious.”

“It isn’t. I know she’d like it to be more, but they’re both so busy that they can’t see each other much anyway.”

“I told him I might be seeing someone else,” Lara said shyly, wiping away her tears.

“You…you did?”

“Yeah. I thought he had a right to know.”

“I want to come visit when we’re back.”

“Of course you can, Chris. You know that.”

“I want to convince you to move down here.”

“Chris…”

“Just think about it, okay? JC is going to want to see his baby…and it would be so much easier if you were here. If you were here, we could all take care of you the way you deserve.”

“Chris…”

“Stop saying my name and think about it, okay?”

Lara giggled. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

The months progressed, and Chris saw Lara as much as he could. It was a down time for NSYNC; they wanted to step out of the public eye for a while. JC saw Dani here and there, but it was not as serious as she would have liked. Lara didn’t ask about this, of course, but Chris made sure to let her know.

“Chris, I don’t really care,” Lara said as they sat on her porch swing one sunny day in July. She was due the third week of September, and she already felt as big as a house. She liked to joke that the baby already had JC’s dancing talents, because it kicked her constantly but always with rhythm. “I’m not really sure why you keep feeding me information about Josh. And if it’s not you, it’s Lance. I swear to God, every email he sends me is full of information about what JC is doing and what he’s been up to. When will you two get it through your head that I don’t care?”

“Well, you said that you and JC wanted to stay friends. I tell you stuff about Justin and Joey, too,” Chris pointed out.

“Doesn’t it bother you…that me and JC have this history…that we’re having a baby?” Lara asked softly. Chris gently kissed her.

“It bothers me that it bothers you. I’m fine, Lara, honestly.” Chris smiled. “Have you guys decided if you’re gonna tell the media? I mean, if they find out five years from now or something…”

“We haven’t discussed it,” Lara said with a sigh. “We don’t talk much.”

“So I hear,” Chris said, amused. He knew that Lance fed JC just as much information as he fed Lara, and JC took the same attitude. He said he didn’t care, but Chris knew he filed it all away. “I still think you should move to Florida.”

“Maybe after the baby’s born,” Lara said absently.

“Really?” Chris gasped, grinning broadly. “Oh, man, that would be GREAT! I could fix up a nursery for you in my house, and we could…”

“Whoa, Chris,” Lara said quietly, putting a hand on his thigh. “I’m not going to move in with you. Not right away. I need…I need some me space. I went from being my husband’s widow to JC’s girlfriend to your girlfriend. I need some time to just be me.”

“Of course,” Chris said, though he was obviously disappointed. “I’ll just bug you so much you HAVE to move in.”

Lara rolled her eyes. “You would do that.”

Chris hummed as he flipped the hamburgers. They were Lara’s favorite food, and during her pregnancy she had only craved them more. Chris didn’t know, however, if she wanted onions on them the way she had before. He went out to the front porch, spatula in hand. He smiled when he saw Lara asleep on the swing, earphones on and Discman resting on her large stomach. He tiptoed over and slowly removed the earphones. He noticed the song was on repeat, and he put the earphones on his own ears. He frowned as he heard his own voice. “Lying in your arms…so close together…didn’t know just what I had…now I toss and turn, cuz I’m without you…how I’m missing you so bad…where was my head, where was my heart? Now I cry alone in the dark…” Chris sighed, turning the CD player off.

“Happy birthday, man.” Chris gave JC a hug, then pulled back. “You okay? You look like shit.”

“Yeah…getting old makes you look like shit,” JC said with a grin. Chris pretended to punch him. JC did look bad; he was losing weight, like he had an extra pounds to lose, and he didn’t seem to really care about his appearance. That alone scared Chris.

“Yo, Christopher.” Joey ambled over and gave Chris a hug. “Long time no see. You’re NEVER around.”

“I’ve been busy,” Chris said vaguely. Lance caught his eye and smiled. The five bandmates were getting together for JC’s twenty-sixth birthday, just a quiet dinner at JC’s house.

JC had ordered in from one of his favorite restaurants, and Justin was busy unwrapping the foil and getting everything together in the kitchen. “Look, it’s Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee!” Chris said, earning a glare from Justin.

“I’m cooking,” he said in a superior tone, and Chris had to laugh.

He helped JC and Justin get everything to the table in JC’s dining room. They sat down to eat, but JC hopped back up. “I forgot the wine!”

“The wine,” Justin groaned, rolling his eyes. “Heaven forbid we not have wine with our dinner.”

“It’s not your birthday so hush up!” Lance snapped. JC came back with wine, four glasses, and a can of Coke for Justin. Lance laughed. “See? Jayce is looking out for you.”

“Whatever.” But Justin gladly opened the can of soda.

Chris waited until everyone was on their second helping before speaking. “So, um, the reason I haven’t been around lately?”

Lance put down his fork and waited. “Yeah, anyway, Kirkpatrick. I call you all the time and you’re never home!” Justin said. “Who am I supposed to play ball with…Lance?”

“Hey,” Lance said, offended.

“I thought you had FuMan stuff to do,” Joey replied.

“I did, but…I’ve been going to Pennsylvania and spending time with Lara.”

JC’s fork dropped. “Lara?” Justin repeated. “JC’s Lara?”

“She’s not JC’s Lara anymore,” Lance reminded him gently.

“So she’s Chris’ Lara, then?” Joey asked, looking at Chris. Chris shook his head.

“No. Not like that. Not that I don’t…care for her. I do. I really care about her, and I think you were a dumbass for acting the way you did,” Chris replied, looking at JC.

“So you’re sexing up the woman who is pregnant with my baby and you’re trying to tell me that you never did it before?” JC’s voice rose as he stood up.

“JC, sit down,” Lance said with a sigh. “You’re a grown-up. Act like one.”

JC sat down. “So, what’s going on with you two, then, Chris?”

“First of all, no one is sexing up anyone. Hello, JC, she’s like eight months pregnant,” Chris reminded him. “I’ve just been getting closer to her. I’d like her to move down here after the baby’s born, so we could all keep an eye on them. I was hoping things were moving along. She seems to trust me. For some odd reason, Lara has a problem trusting men right now.” Chris glared at JC.

“Get to the point, please,” JC said in a falsely patient tone.

Chris slapped the table and Justin and Joey jumped. “The fact is, Joshua, she’s still in love with you. No matter how you’ve treated her, or how hard she tries to forget you, she can’t. She loves you, and she’ll never love me that way.”

“You’re lying,” JC whispered.

“No, I’m not. I SHOULD lie. I should tell you that she hates your fucking guts and never wants anything to do with you ever again. But I can’t do that.” Chris sighed. “Remember how you felt with Dani, how you said it just didn’t click? I can tell it’s not clicking for her. Not with me. I found her napping the one day, and she was listening to “I Drive Myself Crazy” on repeat. And it wasn’t to hear my shining vocals. It’s because of the words. Think about it, JC. I lie awake, I drive myself crazy thinking of you…made a mistake when I let you go baby…”

“I know the words to our song, Chris,” JC snapped. He rubbed at his forehead. “I do still love her.”

“Yes,” Lance whispered under his breath.

“But I was a dumbass. You’re right. She’ll never want me back.”

“Talk to her, JC. That’s all I’m saying. Talk it out,” Chris begged.

“I’ll try to find a way,” JC said, looking down at his plate. “I’m sorry, Chris, really. About everything. About the way you feel about her…about the way I treated you.”

“It’s okay, JC. Just fix things. Make her happy.” Twenty-Eight

JC stared at the phone for a long moment. “Okay,” he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Okay.”

“Did you forget her number?” Lance asked.

“No!” JC snapped. He stared at the phone again.

“Call her call her call her!” Lance emphasized each word with a poke to JC’s side.

“God, you’ve been taking annoying lessons from Chris, haven’t you?” JC growled. He picked up the phone and dialed. It rang once. “See? She’s not home.”

“JC,” Lance said with a sigh.

“Hello?”

“Lara. This is JC.”

“I know.” JC blinked at the weariness in her tone. “How are you?”

“Who cares how I am? How are YOU?” Lance smiled as he left the room to give JC some privacy.

“Huge. Heavy. Ready to give birth to the entire freaking Philadelphia Eagles football team, it feels like.”

JC laughed. “So, everything’s going okay?”

“Well, the doctor thinks I may go a few weeks early, but otherwise I’m fine.”

“Good.” JC took a deep breath. “Look, Lara, Chris told me you guys have kinda been seeing each other.”

“He did?”

“Yes. He really cares about you.”

“Chris is a great guy,” Lara said softly.

“Yeah. He is. And I just want you to know that I’m totally cool with it…if it’s what you want.”

“Thank you, Josh, though I didn’t know I needed your permission.”

“No! Wait!” This was going all wrong. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…I want you to be sure. Chris thinks maybe you still have feelings for me.”

“Oh, he DOES?” Well, he’d be wrong, then.”

“Lara…”

“No, JC. I don’t want to hear it. I need to go. Bye.”

Lara was putting away her shower gifts a few weeks later when her doorbell rang. She carefully went down the steps and opened the door. “Oh, my God.”

“No…Justin.” Justin gave her a small grin. “Can I come in?”

“Um, yeah.” Lara moved aside.

“You look…big,” Justin said, and Lara laughed.

“Thank you.” Lara eased herself onto the sofa. Justin sat on the recliner, and Harley jumped onto his lap. Lara smiled. “He doesn’t even sit with ME like that anymore.”

Justin sighed dramatically. “It’s hard when everyone loves you.” Lara rolled her eyes and he laughed.

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, Justin, but what are you doing here?” Lara asked, shifting uncomfortably. She pressed a hand to her side.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she replied.

“It’s about JC, Lara. I know he called you. It took everything he had to do that. He’s miserable without you.”

“He sent you all the way up here to beg for him?”

“No! He has NO clue I’m up here. I told him I was hooking up with Britney in New York.”

“This is crazy, Justin. I told him that…” Lara stopped talking as a wave of pain washed over her. “God…Justin…”

“Are you okay?” Justin rushed to her side.

“Fine…but I think you need to drive me to the hospital.” Lara struggled to her feet and went to the closet to grab her bag.

“You’re…you’re NOT having the baby! You can’t!” Justin said frantically.

“The baby might have other ideas. Come on, Justin!”

“Isn’t this early?” Justin said as he helped her to his rental car.

“Yes, but those things happen.” Lara slid into the car.

“Is there someone I should call?”

“My mom’s…my Lamaze partner…but she’s out of town today,” Lara gasped. “Shut up and drive, Justin.”

Lara called her doctor on Justin’s cellphone, and she promised to meet them at the hospital within a half-hour. Justin squealed into the hospital parking lot and practically carried Lara into the emergency room.

“Hello! Lady having a baby!” He yelled.

A nurse came over. “And are you the baby’s father?”

“Me? No way!” Justin exclaimed. Lara smiled.

“He’s a friend. My Lamaze partner. Do you have something for me to fill out before we get too busy here?” Lara asked the nurse.

“What?” Justin screamed. “Lamaze partner?”

“I need you, Justin.”

“Okay. Um, okay. I guess I can do that.” Justin sighed. “But I need to make some calls first.”

“What?” Lara gasped as the nurse began to wheel her out of the emergency room. “Dammit, what is it with NSYNC men abandoning me?” She moaned.

Justin held Lara’s hand. Curls peeked out from under his surgical cap and he looked very young and afraid. “What time is it?” Lara demanded.

“It’s only been four hours,” Justin said gently. “I thought labor took hours and hours.”

“THANK YOU, Justin,” she growled. “ONLY four hours? Let’s trade places and you can see how long four hours REALLY is.” Then she sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I’m just…scared.”

“You’re doing great,” he assured her. “I may faint any minute now, but you’re doing fine.”

“If that’s the case, then step aside,” a voice said behind Justin.

“It’s about time,” Justin muttered, moving away.

“Josh?” Lara gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you THINK I’m doing here?” JC picked up her hand and kissed it. “Justin called me. Lara, I love you. And this is OUR baby.”

“But…”

“No buts. I’ve been a total dumbass, I know. Forgive me…and marry me.”

“Marry you?” Lara gasped.

“Marry you?” Justin echoed.

“Get out of here!” JC snapped. “Joey, Chris and Lance are in the waiting room.”

“Fine,” Justin pouted, stomping out of the delivery room.

“Lara, if you truly love Chris, I’ll step back. But I think…I hope…you still love me.”

“Damn you, Joshua Chasez!” Lara sniffled. “I’m in labor and you’re proposing?”

“Yeah.” JC bit his lip. She looked at him and fell in love all over again.

“Yes.” Lara winced as a contraction hit. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“I can’t believe you have a baby,” Justin said as he, Joey and Lance entered Lara’s hospital room hours later.

“A Baby Chasez,” Lance said, hugging JC.

“Sounds like something on the Animal Planet.” Chris attempted an Australian accent. “Watch the Baby Chasez as it sneaks up on the unsuspecting gazelle.”

“You are NOT right,” JC said, shaking his head.

“Here she is.” A nurse came in carrying a baby with bright blue eyes and an almost-full head of dark brown hair.

“Give her to him, please,” Lara said, motioning to Justin.

“Me?” He squeaked. The nurse carefully placed the baby in his arms, then left.

“She has JC’s fingers,” Lance whispered, running his finger over the tiny hands.

“What’s her name?” Joey asked.

“Justine. Justine Christina Chasez,” JC answered. Justin blushed, and for once Chris was at a loss for words.

“Another JC Chasez,” Lance commented.

“Hey! I never thought of that.” JC sat down on the bed next to Lara, and Justin handed him the baby.

“PLEASE tell me you’re moving to Florida now,” Chris begged as he kissed Lara’s cheek.

“I kinda have to, since we’re getting married,” Lara said shyly.

Joey whooped, then clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“And you’re all in the wedding. I know four girls named Stacey, Jenn, Julie and Shelley who would be VERY happy to have you walk them down the aisle,” Lara said.

“Who’s the cutest?” Chris asked, and Lara slapped him.

Later that evening, after everyone had left, JC lay next to Lara as she cradled their baby in her arms. “She’s so beautiful,” Lara whispered.

“Yes.” JC kissed Lara gently. “I’m so sorry, Lara. I can’t believe I acted the way I did. Did you mean it? Will you really marry me?”

“Yes, Josh, I will.” Lara kissed him back. JC shifted his weight to hold them more comfortably. It was a tight fit, but suddenly being crowded didn’t feel too bad.

The End

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