Love To The Highest Bidder

By: Lara

“Sold! Your number, Sir? Thank you. Lot six six five, ladies and gentleman…a paper machier music box in the shape of a barrel organ. Attached is the figure of a monkey in Persian robes, playing the cymbals. This item, discovered in the vaults of the theater, is still in working order…showing here. May I start the bidding at fifteen francs? Twenty, sir, thank you, twenty-five Madame, thirty francs going once…twice…sold!”

Lance Bass jerked awake, ripping his headphones from his ears. He wasn’t sure what had awakened him, exactly, but now he was awake. He blinked a few times, then pushed aside the curtain to his bunk. He swung his legs over the edge and rubbed his eyes. He could hear Joey snoring away in the bunk across the aisle. Lance slipped on a pair of socks and padded out to the living area of the bus. It was still dark outside, and he yawned as he booted up his computer. Might as well get something done if he was up. He wandered into the small kitchen area and grabbed some orange juice before curling up at the table.

Lance seriously did try to get some FreeLance work done, but nothing seemed to flow right. The numbers wouldn’t add up, the words in his letter didn’t seem to make sense. He sighed and shut that operation down. Lack of sleep did nothing for him business-wise. He really needed to go back to bed. Maybe it was the music; he had fallen asleep listening to the “Phantom of the Opera” soundtrack. Instead, however, he started to fool around on the ebay site. He searched his own name and grinned. He had almost as many items for sale as JC now. That was pretty cool. Not as many things as Justin, but you couldn’t ask for too much. After he got bored seeing his own face as well as the faces of the men he practically lived with, he moved on to the Backstreet Boys. Ha. NSYNC was WAY more popular.

Lance stroked his chin, deep in thought. No, he thought to himself. I won’t give in. But he did. “Nick Lachey,” he said out loud as he typed the words. Not many entries, but some. One caught his eye and he froze. He blinked twice then looked again. Yes, it was still there. “You are bidding on a pair of black custom-made briefs worn/owned by 98 Degrees member Nick Lachey. The item is 100% authentic. All merchandise comes with officially registered and numbered certificate of authenticity from Celebrity Memorabilia Warehouse. These briefs were made for and worn during the “Heat It Up” concert tour. Each member was made his own to cut time during the show when they had to change. These briefs have a custom pouch made to silhouette and contour Nick Lachey’s crotch; it is very large, meaning Nick has a BIGGER talent than just his voice and good looks!”

Lance couldn’t believe it. For a long moment his mind wandered...wandered down to Nick Lachey’s crotch and all the talent it held. He had had a crush on the elder Lachey for months now, and no one knew about it. Not even Joey, and Lance told Joey everything. He had even told Joey about his crush on Carson Daly. But no one knew about Nick. Nick was special. “Obviously, he’s very special,” Lance said out loud, then blushed at the thought. He pondered the idea for a moment. “Oh, what the hell,” Lance said, entering his ebay name and password. The briefs were currently at fifty dollars, with the sale ending the next day at seven in the evening Pacific Time. Lance smiled. They’d be in Pacific Time by the time they got off the bus, which would make it easier for him to remember to check his bid. He closed the laptop, sighing. He couldn’t believe he had just bid on a pair of underwear. He yawned and made himself go back to bed.

Lance soon fell asleep, dreaming of Nick Lachey and the briefs that he’d just LOVE to peel off of him.

“Nick, did you see this?” Drew yelled from his study.

“Um, no, since this is your house and not mine,” Nick yelled back, but he slowly walked down the hall to where Drew sat at a computer. “What is it? Are you secretly having Jeff’s lovechild again?”

“No, it was JUSTIN’S lovechild, bro. Get it right,” Drew pointed out. “Not me this time. YOU.”

“Ebay...yeah...so...there’s all kinds of stuff about us on there,” Nick replied. Drew clicked here and there.

“No...THIS.” He moved his chair out of the way so Nick could see.

“Oh my GOD.” Nick stared at the screen. “A pair of my UNDERWEAR?”

“Could be worse,” Drew said helpfully.

“How?”

“Um...well...it could be naked pictures or something,” Drew tried. Nick groaned, running a hand through his short hair.

“PLEASE tell me you’re not telling the other guys about this,” Nick begged. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Um...I already emailed them the link,” Drew said softly. Nick slapped him in the back of the head.

“Thanks,” he grumbled. “I can’t believe this...what kind of fruitcake would bid on a total stranger’s underwear?”

“This is so embarrassing,” Nick grumbled as they got out of the limo. He pasted on a smile and waved at the crowd. “I bet they all know.”

“Know what? That you’ve got a generous package and you have to have the underwear made SPECIAL for you?” Justin Jeffre teased as he followed Nick up the red carpet.

“You’re SO lucky that we’re in a public place right now,” Nick growled through a smile. Justin just smiled as they continued into the auditorium.

“How many do we think we’ll win?” Justin Timberlake repeated the question the interviewer had just asked them. “I don’t even know how many we’re nominated for!”

“THAT wasn’t egotistical at all,” Lance muttered to Joey. “We’re nominated for five,” he told Justin.

“Oh...right...five,” Justin said, nodding. “We’re just happy to be nominated...but of course we’d LOVE to win anything we’re nominated for!”

“Remind me again why we let him talk,” JC said quietly as they continued up the aisle to their seats. Lance started to agree, then froze. There he was. There was Nick Lachey...and he was walking right toward him! He knew.

“Hey, let’s say hi to the NSYNC boys,” Nick said suddenly, turning down another aisle.

“Why? We...oh...” Drew said quickly as he spotted Jessica Simpson headed in their direction. He followed Nick and Jeff towards the row where NSYNC was getting settled. “Hi, JC. Hi, Joey.”

“Hey, Drew,” JC said politely. “Nick...Jeff...where’s Justin?”

“Flirting with someone over there.” Jeff pointed over his shoulder. “Hey, Lance...how are you?”

“Fine,” Lance said politely, trying not to stare at Nick Lachey. He failed. “Um, hi, Nick.”

“Hey, Lance,” Nick said, looking down at him and grinning. Lance wanted to sigh. Nick was so damn beautiful. He had an incredible body, dimples for DAYS, and gorgeous blue eyes.

“You guys nominated for anything?” Justin leaned away from Britney for a moment. Jeff frowned.

“Nah...not this year. Next year, though, we’re kicking your butts!”

“Yeah...I hear ya,” Justin said, laughing. “Take some advice from the Backdoor Boys...it’s not use going up against us at these things.”

“Shut up, Justin,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. Justin thought he was being funny, but he usually came off as cocky. Lance carefully looked up at Nick. “I really liked your album. Your sound...it’s more soul, you know? I like it.”

“Thanks, Lance,” Nick said, smiling again. “Hey...we gotta sit down. You guys going to any of the parties?”

“We’ll probably hit a few,” Joey told him.

“Cool...see you later, then.” Nick led his brother and Jeff away. Lance sighed without knowing it. Joey looked at him carefully.

“You’ve got it bad,” he murmured in Lance’s ear. Lance blushed, grateful that Nick hadn’t said anything about the auction. Maybe he DIDN’T know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lachey.”

“Which one?” Lance snapped. “You gotta be more specific.”

“The Neanderthal...Nick. You shoulda seen the look on your face when he was talking to you,” Joey said, amused. “You were WORSHIPPING him.”

Lance blushed darker. “Just keep it down, Joe, okay? I don’t need the whole world to know.”

“Don’t worry, it’s safe with me,” Joey said, satisfied that Lance at least admitted it.

“Here she comes,” Drew murmured to Nick. “Wanna go to the bathroom or something?”

“No,” Nick sighed. “I should talk to her.” He stood. “Hi, Jess.”

“Hi, Nick. Hey, Drew,” she said, smiling down at him. “How are you guys doing?”

“Good,” Drew said, immediately turning to the person next to him and starting a conversation. Nick looked at Jessica.

“How are you really, Jessie?”

“Good...I miss you,” she said, trying to shrug. Nick felt about an inch tall.

“I’m sorry, Jess...I thought you understood.”

“I do,” she said, sighing. “I just...I thought we were good together.”

“We were...but it’s not what I want,” Nick said pointedly. “And no, there’s no one else, before you even ask. I know you thought that, but there’s no one.”

“I know,” she said, sighing. “I should go sit down.”

“C’mere.” Nick pulled her into a hug. “I still care about you, you know.”

“I know...and that makes it worse,” she said, smiling. “I can’t even hate you.” She kissed his cheek and walked away. Nick sighed guiltily and sat back down.

“So...when are you gonna tell us the REAL reason why you broke up with her?” Justin asked, leaning over to speak quietly. “She’s amazing.”

“I know she is,” Nick said sadly. “I’ll tell you guys in the limo...after the party, okay?”

Lance frowned as he watched Jessica Simpson kiss Nick Lachey’s cheek before walking away. “Think they’re back together?” Chris asked, following Lance’s gaze.

“You’re such a nosy bastard,” Joey said, jumping in for Lance. “It’s none of our business if they’re together or not.”

“Pick up the next issue of Tiger Beat and I bet we’ll find out,” JC said. Chris rolled his eyes but said nothing more.

“That looked like a friendly conversation,” Joey murmured to Lance. “I mean, they’re not sitting together, and he just hugged her and she just kissed his cheek. And they didn’t even come in together.”

“True,” Lance admitted, but he still sighed. Nick Lachey was WAY out of his league.

“So?” Justin said expectantly as soon as their asses hit the seat of the limo.

“Nick, you don’t have to talk about this now,” Drew told him.

“I for one would like to know,” Jeff said quietly. “I mean, I thought you guys were getting married or something.”

“Me too,” Drew said, “...but I understand.” He was the only one Nick had confided in.

“Well, it’s hard to get married when you’re not in love...it’s hard to get married when you’re gay,” Nick said, staring out the window.

Jeff gasped and Justin said, “You mean Jessica Simpson is gay?”

“No, dumbass,” Nick growled. “I am.”

“Lance, are you coming?” Chris yelled outside Lance’s hotel room. “Everything will be cold by the time you get out here!”

“No, I’m staying in,” Lance called back. “I’m not hungry. I’ll get room service.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“Go away,” Lance mumbled, opening his email. He hadn’t had a chance to look at the auction. He really didn’t expect to win; he had set his high bid at $119.73, but he was sure that someone would easily outbid him. To his shock, he found an email in his box titled, “You’ve won the briefs!” Lance gasped and opened the email.

TO: fishwiththescoop@hotmail.com

FROM: gotthegoods@yahoo.com

SUBJECT: You’ve won the briefs!

Hey there...you’re the high bidder on my auction of Nick Lachey’s undies! Your final bid of $119.73 is the high bid, and they’re yours! Please send a money order to the address at the bottom of this email, and let me know where to send them. Shipping is noted at the bottom as well.

Lance stared at his laptop. He couldn’t believe it. In a few short weeks, when he was back at home and could pick up his mail at his post office box, he’d be the owner of a pair of Nick Lachey’s underwear. Lance closed his eyes, remembering the way Nick had smiled down at him. He was so nice...and so straight.

“Hey, sexy,” a low voice said. Nick groaned and glanced at the clock.

“Justin, it is way too early for you to call me.”

“Just wanted you to know that your undies were sold. Some freak, definitely. Their high bid was your friggin birthday.”

“WHAT?” Nick sat up and rubbed a hand through his hair.

“Yup. One hundred nineteen dollars and seventy-three cents.”

“Eleven nine seventy-three,” Nick said with a sigh. “That’s creepy.”

“Must be one helluva fan.”

“It’d be nice if it was a guy,” Nick said wistfully.

“Nick, I’m sure I could find you plenty of hot guys,” Justin said. Nick actually grinned.

“Justin, I’ve seen the WOMEN you attract. No thanks.” Justin and Jeff had accepted his homosexuality very well, and had sympathized with him when he told the story of how he had told Jessica the complete truth when he broke up with her.

“Did you get any numbers at that afterparty?”

“Nah...I spent most of the time with JC Chasez, Lance Bass and Joey Fatone,” Nick admitted. “They’re really nice guys.”

“And two out of the three of them are gay. Good way to work your way in there, stud,” Justin said, amused.

“Huh?”

“Oh, God, Nick...really. Bass and Chasez. Three-dollar bills, baby.”

“What? Maybe JC...he’s got that look, you know? But Lance? No way. I saw him eyeing up that country chick friend of his.”

“Nick, Meredith is his client...they’re like brother and sister or something. Trust me. The gaydar is strong...Lance bats for your team.” Nick stared into space for a moment, remembering the beauty of Lance’s eyes, the warmth of his crooked grin. “And you always did have a thing for blondes...” Justin pointed out.

“Thanks, Justin, but I’ll find my own men, okay? I’m new to this, anyway,” Nick said with a sigh. “I’ll talk to you later.” Nick no sooner hung up then Drew called.

“Hey, did you see your panties went for a bundle?”

“Do NONE of you sleep on our weeks off?” Nick grumbled, not in the mood to talk about his underwear.

“I know someone at ebay, you know...she could get me their info. You can find out who the freak really is.”

“Drew, there’s no way you can find that out. She’d get fired or something.”

“Nah...she’s smart. And she owes me a favor.”

Nick sighed, torn. Did he want to know? “Okay...see what you can find out.” He hung up the phone and fell back onto his bed, his mind racing too hard for him to go back to sleep.

“I’m not sure I want to know this,” Nick said when he met Drew for lunch two days later. Drew waved a piece of paper in the air.

“On this paper is the post office box number of the person who bought your undies. A post office box in Florida. And don’t worry...I didn’t even look at it.”

“FLORIDA?” Nick said, amazed. “I didn’t think about flying all the way down there.”

“The package should be there sometime next week. Do you want this or not?”

“Okay,” Nick sighed, grabbing the paper from Drew.

“No...Joey, I swear. I’m totally cool hanging at home today. Yes, I KNOW Daniel knows some hot guys. Of course he does...he’s a hairdresser.” Lance rolled his eyes at his stereotypical attitude, but it was true. Daniel, a friend of Joey’s, was one of the most obvious gay men Lance had ever met. “I have some errands to run, you know...stuff like that. Thanks, though. Yeah...I miss you, too. Bye.” Lance hung up and sighed, glancing at his watch. Mail would be dropped off in his post office box in an hour. What the HELL would he do until then?

“Are you SURE you don’t want me to fly down there and keep you company?” Drew asked Nick. Nick took a sip of his soda and almost dropped his cellphone.

“No, Drew, I’m a big boy. I can handle this.” Nick sighed. “It’s probably just some wacko fan...I mean, they HAVE to be a fan, to do something like bid my birthday.”

“Are you gonna ask for the undies back?”

“Nah...if they’re willing to pay a hundred and twenty dollars for them...they should have them. I WILL be contacting that Celebrity Memories Warehouse or whatever. How do they get this shit?” Nick looked out the window of his rental car. “Holy hell...there’s Lance Bass! I could ask him to hang with me...maybe he knows the chick.”

“Nick, do you realize how big that city is? Like Lance knows everyone.”

“I know. Look, Drew, I’m gonna go say hi to him. I’ll call you later.”

“You’d better. We have a bet riding on this.”

“WHAT?”

“I bet it’s a teenybopper fan. Justin thinks it’s a hot guy who has posters of you up on his wall and jacks off while he looks at them. Jeff thinks it’s Jessica.”

“Whatever.” Nick rolled his eyes as he hung up the phone. He strode across the parking lot and went into the post office. Lance was in the corner, opening a post office box. Nick politely stayed back, waiting for Lance to retrieve his mail. Nick started aimlessly reading box numbers, trying to find out where the post office was for the ebay drop off. When his eye continued to move closer to Lance, his eyes widened. He quickly moved around the corner so Lance wouldn’t see him. He saw Lance pull an envelope out of the box and quickly shove it under one arm. Nick made careful note of the box Lance had opened, then hid as Lance walked away.

Lance exited the post office, and Nick darted back around the corner. He quickly found Lance’s box and read the number. “Twelve seventeen,” Nick read out loud. He then consulted the number Drew had given him. “Twelve seventeen,” Nick repeated quietly. He crushed the paper into his fist and slowly walked out of the post office.

Lance sat on his bed and stared at the small brown envelope. He was half afraid to open it. He felt like such a fruitcake...like a stalker or something. Except that he didn’t want to hurt Nick, or follow him around. He knew Nick would NEVER be interested in him anyway, even if he WAS gay by some miracle. Lance was pretty quiet and low-key, and Nick was gorgeous and BORN to be the front man. Kinda like Justin Timberlake or Nick Carter. Lance sighed, then reached for a pair of scissors. His phone rang, startling him so he almost cut himself.

“Hello?”

“Is this Lance Bass?”

“Um, who is this?” Lance asked, not recognizing the male voice.

“This is Nick Lachey.”

That time Lance DID cut himself. “Ouch! Fuck!”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah...I just cut myself a little bit.” Lance hurried into the bathroom and wrapped a handtowel around his hand. “What’s going on, Drew?”

“I needed to drop into town, and I wondered if you were busy. I thought we could grab dinner tonight, if it’s not too short of notice.”

“No!” Lance answered, smiling. “I would really like that!”

“I’m at the Montpelier...do you know where that is?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’ll meet you downstairs in the bar at...seven-thirty?”

“Yeah...that would be nice. See you then.” Lance hung up and hurried to take a shower, the package on the bed long forgotten.

Lance tried to hide his nervousness as he walked through the bar at the Montpelier Hotel. He quickly found Nick at the crowded bar. A gorgeous redhead was on his right side, her skirt almost up to her knees as she sat on the barstool. Lance groaned to himself. Nick would probably want to cancel their dinner to be with her.

“Nick,” Lance said quietly, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder. Nick turned around, dimples flashing as he smiled.

“Lance, hey...” Nick turned to the redhead and held out his hand. “Leesa, it was VERY nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she said, frowning as she shook his hand.

“Bye, now.” Nick almost ran out of the bar. “I’m SO glad you showed up. She would NOT take no for an answer.”

“She looks like she doesn’t get no for an answer very often,” Lance pointed out. Nick laughed.

“True, but she’s not my type. I like blondes.”

“Oh,” Lance said softly, his heart sinking as he thought of Jessica. “So...what are you hungry for? There’s a great Chinese place two blocks down, the restaurant here is good, but kinda fancy...there’s a great steak place at the hotel next door...”

“Steak sounds good,” Nick replied.

“Cool. We can walk over there without a problem.” Lance led the way out a side door of Nick’s hotel. They walked the few short steps to the hotel next door, and into the lobby. No one bothered them, and they were able to get into the restaurant and to a table without a problem. “So,” Lance said after they placed their orders. “What brings you to Florida?”

“Well...I had something I needed to check into,” Nick said. “A business transaction. And then I saw you earlier today...and I thought I’d call you.”

“Really? You saw me earlier?” Lance asked anxiously. “You should have said something.”

“Well...I was a little embarrassed about where I was and why I was there,” Nick confessed.

“Oh,” Lance said, his mind racing as he tried to think where Nick might have seen him. He couldn’t think of anything that might have embarrassed the other man. “I see.”

“I feel like I can talk to you about this, Lance,” Nick said, watching Lance carefully. “I feel very comfortable with you, for a lot of reasons.”

“Thanks,” Lance said, turning slightly pink.

“First of all...you know what it’s like to be in my line of work...you know what it’s like to have the kind of fans we do.” Lance nodded. “And you know what it’s like to be in awe of someone, even though you are famous, too.” Lance looked a bit confused, but he nodded again. “And you also know that it’s hard to find someone to have a relationship with...especially being like WE are...you and I.” Nick continued to watch Lance, who got more confused.

“I don’t think I follow you,” Lance said slowly.

“Where did the name ‘fishwiththescoop’ come from, Lance?” Nick asked finally. Lance froze and turned red.

“I...well...” Lance leaned back in his chair. “Are you gonna punch me?”

Nick smiled, and Lance once again was in awe of his perfect smile and deep dimples. “No, of course not. I was just curious about the name.”

“Well...fish...Bass...you know, and one of my nicknames with the guys is Scoop. Don’t ask.”

“Okay,” Nick said simply, and waited.

“God...Nick...I’m so sorry. I feel like such a dumbass now. I just...I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time...damn, that sounds dumb. I have, though, and I was just searching through ebay one night when I couldn’t sleep, and I saw the auction. I never thought I’d win.”

“You know my birthday?”

“I only have to open any teenybopper mag to find that,” Lance pointed out. “But yeah...I never thought I’d actually win.”

“It’s okay, Lance. I’m really flattered.”

“Yeah, well, I know it must be weird, you know, knowing a guy was bidding on your underwear...” Lance wanted to crawl into his water glass.

“No, Lance...not at all. I’m glad it was a guy...and I’m REALLY glad it’s you.”

“Really?” Lance stared at him.

“Sure...didn’t I say I have a thing for blondes?” Nick’s blue eyes gazed at Lance and he blushed before smiling.

“Yeah...you did. So...do...do you want them back?”

“The underwear? Nah, you can have them...for now. Maybe if you’re nice I’ll give you another pair.” Nick winked, then laughed. Lance laughed as well, incredibly relieved and unbelievably happy. “Besides...I want you to have something to remember me by when you’re on tour.”

“Believe me, Nick...you’re not someone I’d easily forget.”

They continued to talk, occasionally commenting on how something crazy like underwear had brought them together. And when Lance kissed Nick goodbye in front of his hotel room, Nick made him promise to give HIM a pair of his own underwear the next day.

Lance almost danced through his house when he got back. He turned on his bedroom light and caught sight of the brown envelope on the bed. He tossed the envelope into a dresser drawer and began to get ready for bed. He wouldn’t need them now. He had the real thing.

The End

Tell Lara what you thought of this story!