Overprotected
By: Lara
Say hello to the boy
that I am/You’re gonna have to see through my perspective/I need to make
mistakes just to learn who I am/And I don’t wanna be so damn protected…
“No. No, no no. PLEASE tell me I didn’t just see
that.” Lance closed his eyes, then opened them again. Chris peeked over his shoulder, looking at the picture Lance was
referring to.
“Justin, is that a GUY licking your neck?” Chris asked.
“Yeah…and he was hot, too. Good at body shots,” Justin replied. He was
shocked when Lance whipped the tabloid at him, smacking him in the face. “OW!”
“Justin…” Lance took off his glasses. “Do you even KNOW how stupid this was?”
“Oh, so you and Chris can fuck like bunnies, but
poor Justin can NEVER get laid?”
“Whatever kind of animal Chris and I fuck like is
not the issue here,” Lance said.
“Wild howler monkeys,” Chris informed Justin. Lance
glared at him.
“We keep it quiet. No one outside our inner circle
knows.”
“Or insane rhinoceroses…or is it rhinoceri?” Chris
continued.
“We’re NOT in a picture for the world to see!”
Lance finished.
“And I remember this one time…” Chris began, but
Lance slapped a hand over his mouth.
“Christopher, I love you, but if you say anything
else, you’ll be celibate for a week!” Lance snapped.
“It’s only a tabloid, Lance,” Justin protested.
“Nobody BUYS those things!”
“But they DO read them in the checkout line. Justin, that was dangerous for us all.”
“So, basically, I can’t have a sex life?”
“Not a public one,” Lance replied.
“Unless you’re smart and get a girlfriend to
protect you,” Chris said when Lance finally removed his hand.
“I tried that,” Justin mumbled, thinking of the
farce with Britney. “Lance, can’t you
even TRY to understand? I was having a good time!”
“Sorry, Justin. I guess I never let MY good times
get in the way of my job.”
“That’s because there’s such a STICK up your ASS,
Lance!” Justin stormed out of Lance’s
house.
“There is not!”
Chris yelled after him. “Trust
me! I know!”
Justin angrily slammed the car into gear and backed
out of Lance’s driveway. He never would
have agreed to come over for brunch if he would have known he was in for a
lecture. Of COURSE Lance was out of
orange juice, and of COURSE Chris had been the one to run out to get some, and
of COURSE he had started flipping through that stupid tabloid in the checkout
line.
Justin honestly didn’t think it was that big of a
deal. He had been so drunk at the time
that he hadn’t even thought twice about photographers. And he knew Jive would find a way to cover
it up. They always did. For what seemed
like the millionth time lately, he wished for a normal life. A life where no
one had to protect him, because he was allowed to just be himself…to be Justin.
Justin slammed on the brakes, swerving to the side
of the road. His eyes widened as he realized that if that life were to come his
way, he had NO clue who Justin Timberlake really was. For years he had just followed the others, doing what he was
told. He had no clue who he was inside,
or what he wanted in his life.
There must be another
way/’Cause I believe in taking chances/But who am I to say/What a boy is to
do…God, I need some answers…
“Glad you could
make it, Nick.” Kevin stepped aside and let him in the door. “Bri, Aje and
Howie are out on the deck. Grab yourself a drink on the way through.”
“Okay.” Nick ambled through the house he knew so
well. “Hey, Kris.” Nick kissed her cheek as he went to the fridge for a soda.
“Hi, Nicky.” Kevin’s wife smiled as she poured
potato chips into a bowl. “Carry these out for me?”
“Sure.”
Nick munched on a chip as he went out onto the back deck. “Hey, Frick.”
“Heya, Frack.” Brian hugged Nick. Nick waved at Howie, and gave AJ a hug.
“What’s happening?” Nick asked, sitting on the
swing.
“Nothing much,” AJ said, and Nick could tell he was
uneasy.
“Are you okay, Aje?” Nick asked.
“Sure, Nicky.”
Kevin came out onto the deck, carrying pretzels and
dip. “Okay, let’s get this meeting started.”
“Yeah…what’s the big emergency?” Nick asked. AJ
looked at the floor. Howie looked at the sky. Brian looked at Kevin, who
sighed. “Kev?” Nick asked, concerned. “Is everything okay?”
“Look, Nick, this isn’t easy, so just let me get it
out, okay?” Kevin said finally.
“Okay.”
“You know how we’re going back into the studio in
August?”
“Yes.”
“And you know how we usually start getting ready
for performing when we start in the studio?”
“Yeah,” Nick said impatiently.
“Look, Nick, you know I love you. We all do. But…we just thought you might want to start
getting into shape a little sooner.”
Nick looked at the bowl of chips in his lap. “Are
you saying I’m fat?”
“No,” Kevin said immediately.
“We’d never say that,” Brian added.
“But your dancing IS suffering a bit,” AJ said
gently. Howie glared at him.
“We thought if you got in shape over the summer, it
would be easier for you in August when we start thinking about choreography.”
“So, you guys think I’m a fat, out of shape
idiot.” Tears stung Nick’s eyes. He
expected this kind of thing from his mother. NOT from his best friends. “Thanks a lot.”
“Nicky, we don’t think that. We all love you just as you are,” Kevin
said.
“Some of us more than others,” AJ said quietly,
referring to the on-again, off-again relationship he and Nick had been in for a
year and a half.
“When I came out to you guys three years ago, you
told me you’d love and accept me NO MATTER WHAT!” Nick said angrily.
“We DO, Nick. Don’t you see? This isn’t our idea!”
Brian exclaimed.
“Management?” Nick whispered.
Kevin nodded. “We convinced them to let us bring it
up. They wanted to just send you off
somewhere.”
Nick blinked back the tears as he stood. “I’ll look
online and find my own fat farm, thanks.”
“Nick,” AJ pleaded, but Nick was already walking
back through the house.
Two
What am I to do with my
life/You will find it out, don’t worry/How am I supposed to know what’s
right/You just gotta do it your way/I can’t help the way I feel/But my life has
been so overprotected...
Justin dialed the phone and tapped his fingers on
his knees.
“Whoever this is realizes that it is WAY too early
to have a conversation.”
“Is Lance there?”
“Dammit, Justin, no! He stayed home last night.
Why would you call HERE for him, anyway? Besides, aren’t you mad at him?”
“Yes. I
need to talk to YOU.”
“Then why’d you ask for him?”
“Because...” Justin sighed in frustration. “Dammit, Chris, get your ass outta bed. I’m
coming over.” Justin hung up.
“I need your help,” Justin said when Chris opened
the door.
“Dude, you need way more help then I can give you.”
“Chris, I’m serious.”
Something in Justin’s eyes drove the smile from
Chris’ face. “Sure, J. C’mon in. I just started coffee.”
Justin followed Chris into the kitchen.
“Thanks.” Justin sat down with his
coffee. “I love all the guys, Chris,
but I’d have to say you’re my best friend.
You helped me come out as bisexual, and you’ve always tried to
understand.”
“I do try.”
“That’s why I need YOUR help. I need to disappear.”
“For how long.”
“All summer.”
“What?” Chris gasped.
“Chris, I have no clue of who I am. Everything’s done for me. My clothes are chosen for me. People drive me around. I’m told where to be
and when to be there. I went from a
normal kid to this spoiled famous person. I missed everything in the middle.”
“I was wondering if you’d notice,” Chris said, and
Justin stared at him. “I’ve watched it
happen, but it was never my place to say anything.” Chris smiled. “I’ll help in any way I can.”
“Thanks,” Justin said gratefully. “Thanks a lot.”
“Okay...anyplace special you had in mind?”
“
“Okay. Make yourself some breakfast. I’ll make some
calls.”
Nick zipped the suitcase closed and smiled at his
brother. “That’s it.”
“Do you REALLY have to go?” Aaron asked sadly. Nick ruffled his hair.
“Sorry, bud, but I do. Tell me the story one more time.”
Aaron sighed.
“You’re at a weight loss camp in
“Or they’ll think I went as far from the ocean as
possible, to keep from being distracted,” Nick pointed out. “Here.
This has the address and phone number of the house I’m renting in
“Sounds like something from Baywatch,” Aaron
grumbled.
“Well, it’s not from Baywatch. It’s in
Aaron hugged Nick. “I love you, Nick.”
“I love you, too, AC,” Nick sighed, hugging the one
person who thought he was perfect, no matter what.
“Okay, the house I rented is small.”
“Good,” Justin said.
“I mean it, Justin. It’s small. Like two bedroom
small.”
“And I meant it when I said good, Chris. It’s what I want,” Justin said.
“I’ll send along that box tomorrow, but otherwise,
everything you should need is in those two suitcases.” Chris handed Justin an envelope. “There’s a bank account in your name in
town. When it starts to get low, the
bank can contact your bank here and have money wired over. But if you live the way you SAY you wanna live,
you shouldn’t’ need more money.” Chris
smiled at Justin. “Are you SURE about this?”
“Yes. I
want to be out on my own, Chris.” Justin looked at the envelope. “And this
Justin’s flight landed at
He unlocked the door of the house and slowly walked
in. Chris wasn’t lying when he had said
the house was small. It was all on one floor, with a kitchen, living room,
dining room, tiny bathroom, and two bedrooms.
He smiled as he walked through the simply-furnished rooms. It was exactly what he wanted.
Justin unpacked his things, then went back to the
car. He had passed a few stores on his
way to the house, and there were a lot of things he needed...like a cookbook,
for starters.
Nick sighed as he looked at his boat. “Take good
care of her,” he said wistfully to the man he had hired to return the boat to
The small condo he had rented was three blocks from
the marina. His clothing had been sent ahead, and he walked quickly, carrying
only a backpack. Nick was pleased with
the condo. It was tiny, but he could
walk out his back door onto the beach.
He stood at his bedroom window for a long time, watching the waves
break. His stomach growled and he
realized he had some serious shopping to do.
Nick stood in the front of the supermarket,
wondering where to begin. He looked
down at his stomach and blushed, realizing that on the few occasions that he
shopped for himself, he bought things like snacks and soda and ice cream. He sighed and turned his cart around. Time to change all that.
Justin checked his list. “Got the pickles, got ketchup.
Now for lettuce and salad dressing.”
He swung his cart around and slammed into someone. “God, I’m sorry!”
“Holy shit,” the other person whispered, pushing
the baseball cap up away from his face.
Justin stared at a face he knew all too well. “What
the hell are YOU doing here?”
Three
I tell ‘em what I
like/What I want/What I don’t/But every time I do/I stand corrected/Things that
I’ve been told/I can’t believe/ What I hear about the world/I realize/I’m
overprotected…
“It’s a free
country. I can be anywhere I want,” Nick snapped, self-consciously removing his
glasses.
Justin pushed his own hat down tighter. “I’m
serious, Carter.”
“I’m here to do practice runs on my boat,” Nick
lied. “For racing.”
“Can’t you do that in
“Everyone knows everything I do in
“Research,” Justin said quickly. “For a movie Lance
wants me to do.”
“Oh.” Nick looked him in the eye. “Look, Timberlake, I was planning on keeping
it real low-key around here.”
“Me, too.”
“Good. So you stay outta my way, and I’ll stay
outta yours.”
“Sounds fine to me.”
“Good.” Nick walked away, making sure he was around
the corner before he put his glasses back on.
Justin walked through the paperback and magazine
section of the supermarket. Books were
cheaper here than at the bookstore where he’d bought his cookbook, and he was
determined to act and think like a “normal” person. He picked up the latest Stephen King, a few mystery novels that
he knew JC had liked, and all the Harry Potter books he could get his hands
on. Chris had ranted and raved about
them, and Justin figured they were worth a try, if they had held Chris’ limited
attention.
Justin pawed through the magazines, grabbing
“Rolling Stone,” “Entertainment Weekly,” and “People.” He frowned, feeling fluffy and stupid. He had no clue what was going on in the
world outside music, movies and television. He put back the “EW” and picked out
an issue of “Time,” instead.
A face on the cover of another magazine caught
Justin’s eye. He pulled out the “16”
magazine and read the headline on the cover.
“Carter Family Secrets, Told by Aaron and Nick’s Own Mother!” Justin felt a tiny pang of sympathy for
Nick. It would suck having a parent like that.
Nick picked up a bunch of celery stalks. He liked
celery, and it was good for you. He
also grabbed some carrots and green peppers, and a container of fat-free ranch
dip. He was thinking about Justin Timberlake
when someone said, “You actually LIKE that stuff?”
“Yeah,” Nick shrugged. He turned to see a redheaded
man of his own age standing behind him. “It’s okay.”
“You new around here?”
Nick nodded.
“Yeah. Just for the summer.”
“Oh. One of THOSE.” But the man’s smile was friendly. “I’m Max.”
“Nick.” Nick shook Max’s hand.
“You play basketball, Nick?”
“I love it.”
“We play every morning at a park on the west side
of town. Wanna join us?”
“I live in the condos near here…and I don’t have a
car.”
“I’ll swing by for you. What’s the number of your condo?”
“Six-forty.”
“Okay. I’ll be over around eight.”
“Cool,” Nick said, smiling and trying not to see
too enthusiastic. “Thanks, Max.”
“Sure thing. See ya tomorrow.” Max ambled
away. Nick smiled to himself and
continued with his shopping.
“That’s eighty-two fourteen,” the teenaged girl
behind the register said to Justin. Justin counted out eighty-three dollars and
handed it to her.
“Here you are.”
“That’s a lot of food. You and your girlfriend must be big eaters,” the girl said.
Justin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time
someone had innocently flirted with him. “Well, I’m afraid I’m the only pig
here. I just moved into a place, and
I’m stocking up.”
“Oh, well, you have a good day, and PLEASE stop by
again,” she said with a wink.
Justin turned on the million-watt smile. “You bet.”
He went out of the store, still smiling.
He had shopped without being mobbed, and a pretty girl had flirted with
him, like he was just another guy. He
sighed happily as he put his groceries into the car.
Four
Nick was ready
when Max beeped his horn the next morning. He ran out of the condo, carrying a
towel and a bottle of water. “You come
prepared,” Max observed.
“I sweat a lot when I play,” Nick said, suddenly
feeling very big and oafish.
“I understand THAT. That’s why we play so early in the morning…to avoid the afternoon
heat,” Max replied. “So…you don’t sound like you’re from
“
“Cool. I’ve
never been to
They chatted until Max pulled into a gravel parking
lot. “This is nice,” Nick said, looking around the small park. “Quiet.”
“Yeah. Life’s not real exciting around here.”
“That’s just fine with me,” Nick said.
Seven other guys were already shooting baskets on
the court. Max introduced Nick around,
then frowned. “Where’s Michael?”
“I dunno,” a boy named Jesse said. “He usually gets
here early.”
“We’ll give him ten minutes, then we’ll just play
four on five if he doesn’t show,” Max decided. He tossed Nick a ball. “Warm up,
Justin stretched and yawned as he looked out at his
tiny backyard. He kinda wished Chris had found him a house near the beach, but
Justin knew that most of those houses would have been huge and pretentious…the
exact opposite of what he was looking for.
He decided to walk to the beach, just to see how
long it would take. He hadn’t brought his treadmill, and it was a nice day. He
wanted to be outside enjoying it, something he didn’t normally get to do. He put on a tank top and shorts, then dug out
his favorite Nikes. They were expensive,
but so worn and battered that no one would notice.
He whistled as he locked the door of his little
house. The sun was warm on his face, the breeze was light, and he was taking a
walk…just like a normal person.
“Okay, obviously Michael isn’t gonna show. Let’s
get started,” Max grumbled. “You five against us four.”
“Hey…maybe that dude wants to play.” Jesse pointed
to a man walking along the edge of the park.
Nick recognized the curly hair and long legs
immediately. “Wonderful,” he muttered.
“Hey, kid!”
Max yelled. “C’mere!”
Justin ambled over, doing a double take when he saw
Nick. “Who, me?”
“Yeah. We’re short a guy. You play?”
“I sure do.”
“Good.
You’re on our team.” Max introduced him around, saying everyone’s
name. Nick muttered a hello, studying his
shoes. “And you are?”
“Justin.”
“No way you can have BOTH the new guys,” Jesse
complained. “Look how tall they both are!”
“I’ll switch,” Nick said quickly.
“Cool.
We’ll take Alex, then. Justin,
you guard Nick,” Max ordered. Justin
nodded, smiling grimly at Nick.
“Your ass is MINE, Carter,” he said quietly.
“In your dreams, Timberlake,” Nick growled.
Nick’s team won the toss and went on the
offensive. Justin was all over Nick,
blocking shots and generally annoying the hell out of him. And when Justin’s team had the ball, Justin
made shot after beautiful shot. Nick
watched the slender body jump for yet another rebound. He and Justin had never really interacted,
but Nick had to admit that Justin Timberlake was a beautiful creature. He was
graceful and toned and beautiful…everything that Nick wasn’t.
When Nick’s team scored the final point to win the
game, Justin watched Nick fall onto the grass, panting for breath. The morning was hot, and all of the guys had
removed their shirts…except Nick. He was
drenched in sweat, and his tshirt clung to his skin. For someone as big as Nick
was, he had moved incredibly fast around the court. Justin was almost jealous
of the way Nick could barrel after the ball without anyone calling foul.
“Hey.”
Jesse sat down on the curb next to Justin. “Good game. Justin, right?”
“Yeah.”
Justin slapped his hand. “Very good game.”
“We do this every day. You interested?”
“Sure,” Justin said, grinning.
“You look familiar, but I’m not sure where I know
you from,” Jesse said, and Justin’s heart began to pound.
“I doubt it. I mean, I’m just here for the
summer…from
“Do you live at
“Close.
“I was there once.
Cool place.”
“Yeah,” Justin shrugged. “I’m not there much.”
“A few of us are going for breakfast. Interested?”
“Uh…” Justin didn’t know what to say. He desperately wanted to hang out with these
new friends, but he felt uncomfortable around Nick. Nick knew the truth, and
Justin wanted to keep the truth well under wraps.
“Me and
“Nah…we’re going to the Coffee Pot for breakfast. You come with us,” Jesse suggested.
“No way. I want to introduce Nick here to the
beauties of our beach,” Max said with a grin.
Justin was shocked to see Nick ever-so-subtly roll his eyes.
“Thanks, though. Thanks for asking me to play.
Great game.” Justin held out his hand
and Max shook it. “Nick…nice to meet
you. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
Nick finally looked Justin in the eye. “I hope so.
I’m totally ready to kick your ass again.”
Justin flinched but smiled. “We’ll see.”
“C’mon, Justin. Later, guys.” Jesse started walking to his car, and Justin
followed.
Nick watched him walk away, wondering why in the
world he had acted so rude towards him.
Justin wasn’t that bad…except for the fact that he was spoiled and
arrogant and knew everything about Nick that he wanted to hide. “I am SO ready for the beach,” he said to
Max, turning away from Justin’s distant figure.
Five
Justin hung out
with Jesse until almost
Justin let himself into the house, thinking about
Nick. Nick wasn’t really a jerk or anything, but something about him rubbed
Justin the wrong way. Chris the Psychologist had said once that Justin didn’t
like Nick because he and Nick were so much alike.
“We are not,” Justin said out loud, thinking back
to that particular conversation. He
undressed and stood in front of the mirror.
“I’m way hotter, I’m in better shape, and I totally sing better.” Justin
continued talking to himself as he turned on the shower. “The ONLY things we
have in common are that we both are in pop groups, we’re both the youngest
members of our groups, we both were born in January, we both have blue eyes,
and we both have had to grow up in the public eye.” Justin froze, staring at the shower curtain. Maybe he and Nick had more in common than he
had thought.
Nick opened his eyes and his first thought was of
Justin Timberlake. He cursed himself for that, then sat up and stretched. He
couldn’t figure out why Justin was in this tiny town. He didn’t buy that movie research crap for a second. It was as if the devil had sent Justin to
He got out of bed and started coffee. He grabbed an
apple and munched on it as he walked out back to look at the ocean. He looked down the beach at the large
houses. Justin was probably in one of
those, sleeping in the lap of luxury.
Nick decided to walk down to that neighborhood and look around.
Justin tied his sneakers, determined to walk to the
beach this time. He had enjoyed the basketball game, but he really wanted to
relax on the beach. He grabbed a bottle of water and set off at a brisk pace.
It didn’t take him very long, and he was soon
sighing with pleasure as he walked over a dune and saw the sparkling blue
water. He took off his shoes, tied the laces together, and slung them over his
shoulder as he walked through the surf.
He looked up the beach and sighed. The houses were beautiful and
huge. As he got closer, he wondered
which one was Nick’s. He would obviously be living near the water; even Justin
knew about Nick’s ocean fetish.
Nick cut through a yard and headed for the
beach. Nothing had struck him as
belonging to Justin, though one house with a half-basketball court had caught
his eye. He looked down at the water
and saw Justin walking at the edge. He decided to try and make a polite
effort. “Hey!” Nick yelled.
Justin looked up. “Oh, hello.”
“Please don’t sound TOO thrilled to see me,” Nick
said, rolling his eyes.
Justin ignored the remark. “That one yours?” He pointed to the yard
that Nick had just walked through.
“What? Oh, yeah,” Nick said. “Gorgeous, isn’t it?
Which one’s yours?”
“You can’t see it from here,” Justin said
truthfully.
“Good game yesterday, huh? Those guys were nice.
Max and I spent most of the morning out here on the beach.” Nick looked at Justin as he spoke, drinking
in the golden-topped curls and the chapped red lips.
“Yeah, they were nice,” Justin replied. “I’ll probably play again.” He fidgeted nervously, trying not to notice
Nick’s broad shoulders and full red lips.
“Well, uh, I’ll see ya.” Justin
turned and walked away.
“Bye,” Nick said sadly, watching Justin walk
away. He had actually enjoyed talking
to him, though it was hard to keep all the lies straight. He watched Justin grow smaller and smaller
on the beach, then he started back to his condo.
“Hello?” Justin said quickly, grabbing the phone.
It had been ringing as he walked in the front door.
“Justin? This is Jesse.”
“Oh, hey,” Justin said, smiling. “I was just out
for a walk.”
“Me and Steve are going to the Coffee Pot for a
while…wanna meet us there?”
“You guys own stock in that place or something?”
Justin joked. The Coffee Pot was a
small coffee shop, with pastries and breakfast in the morning, and poetry
readings and performances at night. It was very bohemian, and Justin knew JC
would just love it.
“You’d think so.
Nah…Steve has the hots for that one counter girl, and I said I’d keep
him company.”
“Yeah, sure.
I can be there in an hour.”
“Cool…see ya.”
Justin smiled as he went to shower. A friend had called him and wanted to just
hang out. “Normal” life was just
getting better and better.
“You ever do this?” Justin asked, motioning to a
flyer on the table. Jesse leaned over
to read it.
“Open mike night, Tuesday through Thursday. Why would I do that?”
“You said you sing.”
“In the shower. I could never perform onstage,”
Jesse said with a laugh. “Why? You thinking of doing it?”
“No,” Justin said, pushing the flyer away. “I’m not
a performer, either.” But when Jesse
wasn’t looking, Justin folded the flyer and slipped it into his pocket.
Six
What am I to do with my
life/You will find it out, don’t worry/How am I supposed to do what’s right/You
just got to do it your way/I can’t help the way I feel/My life has been so
overprotected…
“
“No,” Nick said, sitting in the empty chair next to
Max. “Your directions were perfect.”
“Wanna beer?” Max picked up the pitcher and an
empty glass. Nick frowned. He knew that
beer was NOT on his diet, but he wasn’t about to sit and explain why he didn’t
want to drink.
“Sure. Thanks.”
“You remember Alex, right? And this is Michael, the
loser who stood us up the other morning,” Max said, pouring Nick’s beer.
“I TOLD you. Something came up!” Michael protested.
With his dark hair and green eyes, he reminded Nick of Kevin, though he was
sure that Michael didn’t have a stick up his ass the size of
“You playing tomorrow?” Alex asked Nick.
“Probably.
Oh…you don’t need to come get me,” Nick said to Max. “I bought a
motorcycle.”
Max’s mouth fell open. “You BOUGHT a motorcycle?
Just went out and BOUGHT one?”
“An old one,” Nick said quickly. “It’s old and beat
up…I saw a sign in front of a house this morning. I got it cheap…and it’s enough to get me from point A to point
B.”
“Oh. Cool.”
Nick looked around the crowded bar. “I like this
place.”
“We practically live here,” Alex told him. They have a great rock band. Every night they have a contest. If you go
up and sing with the band, or if you play with them, and the crowd likes you,
you win a hundred bucks.”
“And most of the people who do it suck, so it’s
hysterical,” Max added.
“Do the other guys come here?” Nick asked.
Michael laughed. “Nope. This is too hard-core for them. Steve and Jesse and a few of the
others go to a coffee house down the street.
Poetry, acoustic music, all that stuff.”
“Oh,” Nick said. He was glad Justin wouldn’t be
showing up, but at the same time, he was sorry he wouldn’t be seeing him.
Justin was already at the court shooting baskets
when the first person arrived at the court the next morning. He had brought his
own ball, and he was shooting his way around the key.
“Hey,” Jesse said, running across the court.
“You’re up early.”
“I’m used to going on very little sleep,” Justin
said. “Unlike my best friend, Josh, who
could sleep twenty hours a day.”
“What exactly do you do? Are you a student?” Jesse
asked, shooting his own ball.
“I’m kinda undecided right now. I have a job, and I
like it, but I’m beginning to rethink my future,” Justin told him. Jesse nodded.
“I understand THAT.”
Players straggled in little by little. Michael was absent once again, which was
good. No one would have to sit
out. Teams were shuffled around a bit,
but Justin and Nick found themselves on opposing sides once again. Justin played it cool, guarding when he had
to, but otherwise leaving Nick alone.
Nick barreled around the court, running Justin over a few times, but
always stopping to help him up from the ground. Justin tried to get angry with him, but he couldn’t. It was hard
to get angry with someone with a smile like Nick’s.
“You just need to move quicker,” Nick teased
gently.
“You just need to quit shoving your big ass
around,” Justin snapped. He immediately regretted it.
“Sorry,” Nick whispered, blushing to his ears. A cellphone ring made them all stop. “I think that’s mine.” Nick went over to his bag. “Hello?”
Nick’s face went white and he sat down hard. The other guys continued to shoot, but Justin walked over to
Nick. “But you’re okay? God, don’t
scare me like that. Be careful and take it easy. Do…do you want me to come home?” Nick paused. “Okay, if you’re
sure. I love you. Bye.” He looked up at Justin and quickly wiped at
the tears in his eyes.
“God, are you okay?” Justin asked, squatting down.
“Yeah…that, uh, that was Aaron. He was out on his
motorbike yesterday and had a little tumble. Broke his shoulder bone.”
“Is he okay?” Justin asked gently. Everyone knew how tight Nick and his brother
were.
“Yeah. He’s fine. He thinks it’s exciting. He
doesn’t get why we’re all so freaked out,” Nick said with a weak laugh.
“I’m glad he’s okay,” Justin said sincerely,
putting a hand on Nick’s arm. He pulled back instantly, feeling as if he had
gotten burned. Nick frowned.
“Yeah, thanks, I guess.” He snapped the phone shut and stood. “I’m ready to continue
kicking your ass now.”
Justin mentally kicked himself as he unlocked his
front door. He had NO clue why he kept going off on Nick Carter. Nick had
actually been really nice, and it felt good knowing that someone else
understood what he was going through. He wondered if Nick really WOULD
understand. He was a year older than Justin, but it wasn’t like that was a big
difference. No one in Justin’s own life understood, and Justin knew from
observation at public functions that Nick was doing everything in his power to
keep the lives of his younger siblings as normal as possible. That impressed Justin.
And then there was the fact that somewhere along
the line, Nick Carter had turned incredibly hot. When the hell had THAT
happened? He used to be all skinny arms
and legs, a total klutz, and now he was sexy and tall and built perfect in all
the right places. Justin ran a hand
down his thin frame and sighed, wishing for some of Nick’s size and power.
Nick turned down an offer to go out again with Max
and Alex. He wanted to go home and
email Aaron. When he sat down at his laptop, however, he stared at the
wallpaper and didn’t type. He kept thinking about the concern in Justin’s face
as he knelt before him. He did seem
really sincere when he asked about Aaron.
The others were nice about it as well, but they didn’t know what he had
with Aaron, how special their relationship was. Justin did know, and he knew how worried Nick had been. That made his sudden change of attitude,
pulling back when he touched Nick. Nick
frowned and opened his email. He needed to quit thinking about Justin
Timberlake.
Seven
“Forty-eight,
forty-nine, fifty!” Nick fell back onto
the sand, panting for breath. Fifty crunches.
He knew he should do more, try to get up to at least seventy-five, but
he felt like his stomach muscles were about to jump through his skin and run
away screaming. He rolled onto his
side, then slowly got up. He went down
to where the sand was wet and solid. He started doing push-ups, enjoying the
sound of the waves breaking just beyond his reach. He closed his eyes, sweat rolling down his face.
It had been two weeks, and he was actually feeling
healthier. He wasn’t losing weight overnight or anything, but he knew that what
he was doing could only make him feel better in the long run. He had almost
completely cut out junk food, though he still had to keep a half-gallon of ice
cream in the freezer, for mental health if nothing else. He played basketball almost every day, and
he tried to work out on the beach on the days he didn’t play.
He finished his push-ups and sat up, staring at the
water. Nick desperately missed his
boat, though he knew there was NO way he could keep things low-key and still
have a boat of his own. Max’s reaction
to the motorcycle was enough proof of that.
Max, Alex and the others had bought the story that Nick was a student on
vacation, and he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize that.
Justin noticed Nick Carter as he walked up the
beach. Nick finished a series of
push-ups, then sat and stared at the water. Justin wondered how Aaron was. He
hadn’t played basketball in over a week, preferring to stay around the house
and write. JC would be proud of him;
lyrics and music were flowing like a stopper had been taken out of a
drain. Justin wouldn’t admit it to
himself, but he avoided the basketball games so he could avoid Nick. Justin was thinking about him more than he
liked, and it scared him. He couldn’t have a crush on Nick Carter. Things like that didn’t happen It was wrong in about nine hundred and
twelve ways.
“Hey,” Nick said, turning his head and
smiling. “Long time no see.”
“Uh, yeah, I was, uh, busy.”
Nick patted the sand next to him and Justin
regretfully sat down. “How’s the
research coming?”
“Research?”
Justin looked at him blankly. “Oh, yeah, right. It’s good.
Really good being here,” Justin said truthfully. “How’s the boat
coming?”
“I don’t know,” Nick said before he thought. “Oh! I mean, I don’t know if we’ll have it
ready in time for all the big races, but, you know, it’s good.”
“Good.” Justin nodded and stared out at the water.
“Haven’t seen you at the games,” Nick said.
Justin shrugged. “I had better things to do.” He
winced at how arrogant the lie sounded.
“Of COURSE you did,” Nick said, and Justin glared
at him.
“What does that mean?”
“You obviously don’t like hanging around with
normal people. No one to worship the
ground you walk on and all.”
“Normal people? Like you fit into that mold,”
Justin said angrily.
Nick looked away.
“Whatever. You know nothing about me.
Why are you even down here? Doesn’t your big house have a
“I was walking and ended up here,” Justin said,
ignoring the fact that he had chose this stretch of beach because he had seen
Nick there before. “And I don’t think
you need to be judging me that way. You don’t know shit about me.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” Nick stood. “You and your
pretty little boyband.”
“Better a pretty boyband than a bunch of washed out
fat old men,” Justin said, then bit his lip at the way Nick’s eyes darkened.
“Yep, that’s us.”
Nick got up and walked away.
Justin fought the urge to run after him, knowing that no amount of
apologies would make up for the look on Nick’s face.
“Justin…we’re skipping the Coffee Pot tonight,”
Jesse said. “How about something a little crazier?”
“What do you have in mind?” Justin asked, thinking
that if Jesse knew what kinds of REALLY wild things Justin had done, he would
have a heart attack.
“There’s this club…Alex and them go there a lot.
More alternative stuff, really. I
thought it’d be fun for you to see something else around town.”
“That sounds great. I like alternative stuff,”
Justin said. “Want me to pick you up?”
“Sure. Be here at nine-thirty. Band goes on at
ten.” Jesse hung up, and Justin picked through his meager wardrobe, trying to
find something to wear.
The phone rang and Justin picked it up immediately.
“You know where I live, so NOW what do you want?” Justin asked, laughing.
“Your first-born child. Oh, yeah…you’re like ninety
percent gay, so that’s unlikely.”
“Chris!” Justin said happily. “Hi!”
“Hey, Curly. How are you?”
“Good. Really good. I love this place. I’ve made
some good friends, and I play basketball like every morning,” Justin said
enthusiastically. “Thank you SO much.”
“I’ve been thinking about you,” Chris said softly,
and Justin knew he was at Lance’s.
“Worrying.”
“I’m so good, Chris, honest.”
“Any closer to straightening things out with what
you want?”
Justin sighed. “No. Things are actually getting more confusing in some ways,” he
replied, thinking of Nick Carter.
“Ah…do I sense a little romantic drama?”
“No. Well,
no.” Justin blushed, even though Chris
couldn’t see him.
“Ooh, yeah I do! Tell me!”
“Chris, who’s that?” Justin heard Lance say.
Before Chris could reply, Justin said, “I’ll let
you go. Love you. Bye.” He hung up quickly and went back to the
closet.
“Hey! Justin!”
Max waved Justin over. “Hey,
Jesse. Pull up a chair, man.”
Jesse and Justin sat down at the already-crowded
table. Alex was there, as were Michael,
Nick, and a few other guys. Nick nodded
at him, but Justin looked away. Damn, but Nick looked good. He wore a white
tanktop underneath a grey and blue checked short-sleeved shirt. His spiky hair
stood up like someone had been pulling it, and the khaki shorts that Justin
noticed when Nick stood to get more beer totally accentuated that nice ghetto
booty. Justin shook his head and stared
at the table.
Nick ordered three more pitchers of beer, then
leaned on the bar. Justin had no legal
right to look that hot. He wore a tight black tshirt that focused your vision
directly on the nice abs, and his jeans were tight in all the right
places. Nick let out a small groan as
his dick hardened slightly. This was
not good. There was probably some sort
of law somewhere about wanting to lick rival boyband members.
Nick looked back at the table. Justin was laughing
at something Jesse was saying. His gaze
caught Nick’s, and he actually frowned.
Nick glared at the back of Justin’s curly head. He was a snide little
bastard.
“Here ya go, kid.”
The bartender sat the pitchers down.
“What do you have to do to get onstage?” Nick asked
suddenly. The man grinned.
“What do you do?”
“Play drums and sing.”
“We’ll get you on in fifteen minutes. Can you be ready?”
“Sure.”
Nick carried the pitchers back and stood by the table. “Here, guys.”
“Aren’t you gonna sit?” Michael asked.
“No, I, uh, have to do something.” Nick lingered by
the table until the band finished their next two songs.
“Okay, so we have another candidate!” The lead
singer yelled, and everyone cheered.
“Oh, good. Some talentless bastard is gonna go up
there and make a fool of himself!” Max rubbed his hands together gleefully.
“One talentless bastard, coming up,” Nick said,
walking towards the stage. The band
congregated at the side of the stage.
“Hey.”
“What do you wanna do?” The singer asked.
“Do you guys know “Try to Be Nice?” I play drums and sing.”
“Isn’t that a chick song?” The tiny drummer asked. Nick looked at him
silently, raising himself to his full height.
“Hey, ya know, whatever. I’m not playing it, so I don’t give a
fuck.” The drummer went to the bar.
Nick went to sit behind the drums. He looked out at the audience. His entire
table looked shocked, but Justin was the most dumbfounded. Nick’s eyes narrowed. He’d show that little
shit. Fat old men his ass.
“You ready?” The bassist asked. Nick nodded and
took a deep breath.
“Well, he looks at me with those innocent eyes, and
he says that it looks like you’re wearing some kind of disguise, because your
hair sticks up, your shoes are untied, and I hope you bought that shirt at half
price…and every word I say falls flat on the floor, I try to tell a joke, he’s
heard it before, and I don’t think I can take it no more, he’s driving me right
out my front door…” Nick paused before the chorus and looked at the lead
singer. The man was smiling at nodding
at him. “Why do you do what you do to
me, baby…shaking my confidence, driving me crazy…you know if I could, I’d do
anything for you, please don’t ignore me because you know I adore you…can’t you
just pretend to be nice, can you at least pretend to be nice, if you could just
pretend to be nice…well, everything in my life would be alright…”
“Wow,” Max said, mouth falling open. “He’s really
good.”
“Yeah,” Justin said faintly, as Nick’s eyes found
him. He looked right at Justin as he
sang, and Justin began to blush.
“And I try so hard to just to figure him out, but
he won’t tell me what he’s been thinking about, and then he falls asleep on the
living room couch, with his sunglasses on and his tongue hanging out…then he
disappears for a week at a time, and then he shows up, just like everything’s
fine, I don’t get what goes on in his mind, but I’m tired of hearing that same
stupid line…why do you do what you do to me, baby? Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy…you know if I could I’d
do anything for you, please don’t ignore me cause you know I adore you…can’t
you just pretend to be nice? Can you at least pretend to nice? If you could
just pretend to be nice…well, everything in my life would be alright…”
The crowd screamed their approval as the song
ended. Nick beamed with pleasure, bowing his head shyly. The manager ran over, a hundred dollar bill
in his hand. He took it and shoved it
into his shorts pocket. He searched the
crowd for Justin…but his seat at the table was empty.
Eight
“
“I’m full of surprises,” Nick said. He looked at
Justin’s empty seat. “Where’d he go?”
“He said something about needing air,” Jesse said.
“You were great up there, man.”
“Thanks,” Nick said. “I’m gonna go check on
Justin.” He left the bar and looked up
and down the sidewalk, finally spotting Justin on a nearby bench. He walked
over. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Justin didn’t look up.
“Mind if I sit?”
Justin shrugged. “It’s a free country.”
Nick bit back a sarcastic reply and sat down. “So…you okay?”
“No,” Justin said, looking up. Nick was shocked to see that Justin was
crying.
“Was my singing that bad?” Nick teased gently.
Justin shook his head. “No. It was amazing. You
just got right up there and did it…all by yourself. Totally spontaneous,
planned by no one but you. No fear.”
“I was scared to death,” Nick admitted.
“I couldn’t tell. I’m so damn jealous, Nick. You come here and just blend right in. No
one saw Nick Carter up there, they just saw some guy behind a set of drums.”
“You could do it, too,” Nick said.
“I don’t have drums to hide behind. And I’m not sure I could. I’m not like you.
I’ve never done anything unscripted in my entire life…since I was fourteen
years old.” Justin decided to be honest. “There is no movie. I ran away.”
“From what?”
“Being Justin Timberlake, NSYNC member. I have no clue who regular Justin Timberlake
is…I don’t think I ever have. I’m part JC, part Lance, part Joey, part
Chris…but I’m not sure where the Justin part is. I don’t know who I am or what I want. I came here to be normal,
to fit in for once in my life. I don’t live
in one of those big beach houses…I have a tiny place on the other side of town.” Justin looked away again. “I’m sorry I
lied…but you just assumed…”
“I assumed the totally wrong thing,” Nick
interrupted. “And I’m sorry for what I said before…about you living in the big
house and having better things to do.”
“Already forgotten,” Justin said, wiping at his
eyes. “I know you were singing about me…I haven’t been very nice to you. I was just afraid of you telling the truth
about me.”
“Speaking of telling the truth,” Nick said,
sighing. “I’m not here for the
boat. My boat’s back in
“Um, what?” Justin asked, thoroughly confused.
“Apparently management thought I needed to lose
weight even before we start shaping up for a possible tour. Therefore, Kevin took it upon himself to
give me the news that I’ve moved from being the young and cute Backstreet Boy
to the young and fat Backstreet Boy. So
I skipped out…telling them that I was going to a fat camp somewhere. Aaron’s the only one who knows I’m here.”
“Nick, you are so not fat!” Justin said,
shocked. He and the other members of
his group got into hellish arguments at times, but they would never EVER tell
someone that they were fat. Even if management threatened to blow up their
houses or something. “I just…man, you
are not fat. You’re tall, and you’re
big-boned…but you aren’t fat. If you
were fat, you’d be fat all over. Fat
arms, fat legs, fat face…” Justin ran a hand along Nick’s slender arm. “And
you’re not.”
“Big-boned,” Nick repeated with a smile. “That
sounds like something my grandmother would say.”
“Well, take it from Granny Timberlake. You are not
fat, and I’d like to kick their asses for saying it,” Justin growled.
Nick laughed out loud. “Someday I might just take
you up on that.” He looked at Justin.
“Feeling any better?”
“A little,” Justin said. “I knew all along that
you’d understand. Your life is a mirror
image of mine.”
“More or less,” Nick agreed. “Hey…wanna come over tomorrow? We could just hang out…talk some more.”
“I think I remember where your house is,” Justin
said. Nick blushed.
“Uh, that wasn’t my house. I’m in the condos by the
dock,” Nick said, and Justin smiled.
“Liar.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Let’s go back in.” Justin stood. “Maybe they want an encore from that talented
“Hardly,” Nick said, but he followed Justin back
into the bar, a smile on his face.
Nine
There was a knock
on Nick’s door promptly at ten the next morning. “Right on time,” Nick said to
himself, hurrying to the door. He
couldn’t keep the smile from his face. It was so nice to be able to be honest
with someone. “Hi,” he said, suddenly
shy.
“Hey there,” Justin said, smiling at him. “I, uh,
brought breakfast. Do you like coffee?”
“Live on it,” Nick told him, moving aside. “There’s
a nice little deck out back. We can sit there.”
“I brought coffee and pastries. Fat free,” Justin said, and Nick was
touched. “I shouldn’t be eating all the
crap I’ve been eating, either.”
Nick grabbed some paper towels and plates, and they
went out back onto the deck. “This
smells good,” Nick said, inhaling the steaming coffee. “I love coffee, but I can’t make it for
shit.”
“Well, this is from The Coffee Pot, but I make a
damn good cup of coffee, if I say so myself,” Justin said. He laughed. “It’s
about ALL I can do in the kitchen, but at least it’s something to be proud of.”
“You hang out at that place a lot, don’t you?” Nick
asked.
“The Coffee Pot?
Yeah. It’s great. I think you’d
really like it. A lot quieter than the place we were at last night, but there
is a lot of talent there. They have
open mike nights, and I’ve heard a few of the performers. Really incredible.”
“Have you sung there yet?”
“Hardly,” Justin said, blushing. “I, uh, I can’t.”
“Wait a minute.”
Nick chewed what was in his mouth, then stared at Justin. “You’re
telling me that Justin Timberlake has stage fright?”
“That’s just it,” Justin said, and Nick felt sorry
for what he had said. “Justin
Timberlake is used to having NSYNC behind him. Justin Timberlake has never
really had to carry a stage all by himself.
I can’t do it.”
Nick smiled at him sympathetically. “I bet you could,” he said. “You’re an
amazing performer.”
“That’s just it. I don’t really WANT to be a
performer, I don’t think,” Justin said.
“You know, everyone is talking about how I’m gonna have this great solo
career, but I’ll look like an idiot singing and dancing all by myself. And that’s all I know how to do. I don’t
know how to just sing or play something.
I want to be a musician…not just a performer.”
Nick looked at him thoughtfully. “Justin, you have amazing stage
presence. You can’t deny that. You’ll
just have to focus…draw all that into what you really want to do.”
“I still haven’t figured that out yet,” Justin
said, sighing. “Well, enough depression
from me. Have you heard from Aaron?”
“He’s doing good,” Nick said, unable to keep from
smiling. “Getting all the girls to sign his cast…getting all the attention he
can.”
“Like big brother like little brother, right?”
Justin asked, smiling. “Girls falling
all over you Carter boys.”
“Uh, yeah,” Nick said, blushing. He was opening up to Justin, but this was
NOT the time to come out to him. “Wanna
go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
Justin stood, brushing the crumbs off his lap. “I’ll race you down the beach.”
Nick eyed him skeptically. “If you haven’t noticed, I outweigh you by
like three hundred pounds. I’ll never beat you.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Want a head start?”
“No,” Nick said.
“Let me get my sneakers.”
They raced down the beach, and Justin did beat
Nick, but only by inches. “See? You’re
not as bad as you think,” Justin told him, panting for breath.
“Everyone else thinks I am, though,” Nick muttered,
but Justin heard him.
“You need to stop. God, Nick, I’d give anything to
look like you!”
Nick stared at him. “What?”
“Uh…” Justin kicked at some sand. “I just…you’re
all broad and big…you kick ass on the court because you can move fast, but your
size is intimidating. I have decent
muscles…but you’re built…nice.” Justin wished the ground would swallow him
whole.
A smile radiated from Nick’s face. “You know…I
think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Justin said. He looked out at the ocean and sighed. Nick watched him, feeling that urge to lick
Justin all over. He frowned and looked
at his feet. This was Justin Timberlake.
Licking was definitely not allowed.
Ten
“I TOLD you,
Carter, I’m not playing today!” Justin
snapped into the phone. He opened one eye and looked at the clock. “It’s nine-thirty. Shouldn’t you be at the
park already?”
“Carter?
Who’s that? Your new boyfriend?”
“Chris.” Justin yawned and stretched. “Hey. How are
you?”
“Who’s Carter?” Chris repeated.
“How’s Lance?
Is that stick still up his ass?”
“He does NOT have a stick up his ass,” Chris
growled.
“If you say so,” Justin said cheerfully.
“Who’s this Carter guy?” Chris demanded.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“And you can’t tell a SOUL, Chris. I mean it.”
“I swear on Lance’s dick,” Chris replied solemnly.
Justin rolled his eyes and sighed. “Nick Carter has
also found his way to this little corner of the world.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe you. Who’s this guy, really?”
“Nick Carter, Chris. His bandmates were giving him a hard time, so he escaped.”
“Hmm…sounds familiar,” Chris said. “So, you guys
are friends now or something?”
“I guess so.
He’s a pretty cool guy.”
“He’s a hottie, too,” Chris commented. Justin smiled.
“Yeah…I kinda noticed that myself.”
Two days later, Justin showed up at the park. “Hey,” Nick said, smiling at him. “I called
you a bunch of times. I was starting to get worried about you.”
“Yeah, well, Chris called. That kinda threw me for a loop. He’s the
only one who knows where I am, and hearing his voice sorta shoved me back to
reality for a while.”
“Are you okay?” Nick asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Justin said, shrugging.
They were placed on opposite teams again, but this
time it was a lot harder for Justin to guard Nick. One of the main reasons he had disappeared for a few days after
Chris’ call was because he couldn’t get Nick out of his head, and that scared
him. He had gone to the local music
store and bought every Backstreet CD they had in stock. That earned him a look
from the clerk, so he threw in some Fleetwood Mac, Black Sabbath, Creed and
Puddle of Mudd for good measure. He
kept thinking about Nick’s bright blue eyes, his sexy grin, and his full red
lips. When Justin caught himself
flipping through an issue of “Bop” magazine at the grocery store, he knew he
was in trouble. He was acting like a
teenage girl over someone who was most definitely straight.
“Justin, are you okay?” Jesse asked as Nick made yet another three-point shot.
“Yeah, I guess I’m just distracted. I’m sorry,
guys,” he said to his teammates. They
clapped him on the back and told him not to worry about it.
“So…we all going to the bar tonight?” Max asked as
the game ended.
“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” Nick said.
“Why,
“No, I just don’t really like to drink much,” Nick
said. The other men looked at him as if he had grown a second head.
Justin knew that Nick wasn’t drinking because of
his diet. He also knew that Nick would rather die than admit that. “Nick, didn’t you tell me something about
your friend Alex who had to go into rehab?” Justin said quickly. Nick gave him a smile of gratitude.
“Yeah…Alex.
He let drugs and alcohol rule his life for a while, and he’s only a few
years older than me. It kinda scared
me,” Nick said truthfully.
“I understand,” Max said. “Come along anyway,
okay? If you tell the bartender you’re
a designated driver, he’ll give you free Cokes all night.”
“Okay,” Nick said, smiling at him. “Meet you guys there at ten?”
“Sounds good.”
The group began to disperse, with different sets of guys walking
together and talking. Nick turned to
Justin.
“You coming tonight?”
“I…well…” Justin stammered.
“I’d really like it if you would,” Nick said almost
shyly. “I really like hanging out with you, Justin.” Nick laughed out loud.
“And I never thought I’d hear myself say that.”
“Yeah, well, do you realize I could get thrown out
of the group for hanging out with YOU?” Justin teased. “This is like treason or something.”
“We’ll just call you Benedict Arnold from now on,”
Nick said, slinging an arm around Justin’s shoulder as they headed for the
parking lot. Justin tried not to shiver with delight.
“The way I wish you would…the way I know you
could…” Justin sang quietly, his fingers moving over the chords. “Yes…that’s it…” Justin picked up his pencil
and scribbled down the lyrics as well as the guitar chords.
“Justin?” He heard someone yell through the front
door. He quickly shoved the notebook
under his pillow, and pushed the guitar back into its case. He snapped the lid
shut, then stood the guitar in the corner.
“Justin?”
“Coming!”
Justin yelled, hurrying to the front door, which he had left open to
allow the gentle breeze to air out the house.
“Oh, hey, Nick.”
“Hey, yourself,” Nick said with a smile. “Haven’t seen ya for a few days, so I
thought I’d drop by. Do you mind?”
“No…of course not,” Justin said. He moved aside and let Nick in. “What’s up?”
“Nothing…Aaron called me…everyone’s doing good,
bleh bleh bleh…Kevin’s beside himself because he can’t find the camp I said I
was going to…that would be because it doesn’t exist,” Nick said with a
grin. “I love fooling him.”
“That’s how I feel about Lance sometimes. He pokes his nose in my business all the
time, for the good of the band, he says. But it’s my business and NOT his.”
“Does he have a reason to worry?” Nick asked. Justin frowned and blushed slightly.
“Uh, well, the last conversation we had, he kinda
had a reason. I, uh, was drunk and I
let someone do body shots with me, and, uh, he got a little ballistic. It ended up in a tabloid.”
“Yeah, I can see him getting upset about that,”
Nick said with a laugh. “It’s amazing how much we have to hide.”
“And the thing is, we’re surrounded by people who
make it their job to hide all the bad stuff,” Justin said. “No one will ever think twice about that
body shot thing, because management will cover it up.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Nick said, growing
serious. “I mean, I had my little
moment in the sun when I got thrown into the back of that cop car, but it was
still glossed over amazingly fast.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot I’m dealing with a criminal,”
Justin teased. “I should be appalled, I
think.”
“Yeah, like you’re so perfect and innocent,” Nick
shot back. Justin smiled.
“Far from it, Nick, trust me.”
“Hello?”
“Lance?”
“Justin?” Lance’s low voice rose amazingly
high. “Where the fuck are you?”
“Away,” Justin said, playing with a loose thread on
his bedspread. “How are you?”
“Worried sick, that’s how! God, Justin…we’re all worried. JC came back
early from that painting trip to
“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “But I made him promise
not to tell anyone.”
“I’m gonna wring his little mousy neck!” Lance yelled.
“No, you won’t. You love him,” Justin reminded him.
“He’s your favorite person on the planet. He gives you good sex.”
“Yeah, but he still shoulda told me,” Lance
grumbled. “Chris NEVER is able to keep
a secret.”
“This time he did,” Justin said, laughing. “Anyway, Lance, I need to ask you
something…about Chris.”
“Okay,” Lance said in a worried tone.
“How did you know it was okay to…well…like him?”
“You mean as more than a friend?” Lance asked, and
Justin could see him smirking. “God, Justin, you sound like we’re in high
school or something.”
“Okay.” Justin took a deep breath. “I found someone
here…he’s amazing, Lance. Sexy, talented, and a really nice, down to earth
guy. But I’m not really sure if he’s even
bi or gay…and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. How did you get the point across to Chris?”
“You know Chris…he’s so dense sometimes that I had
to practically walk in front of him naked to get him to notice I was
interested. But I understand what you
mean. I was SO sure it would never happen, that he was one hundred percent
hetero. But then we just started
spending some time together, and I caught this vibe, from his words, deeds, and
body language. You need to start
turning things to a place where he’s free to come out to you, even if it’s in a
subtle way. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” Justin said with a sigh. “And Lance, I’m sorry what I said when I
left your house…about the stick up your ass.”
“It’s okay, Justin. You’re right…sometimes I do act that way. And don’t worry, Chris
helped soothe my hurt feelings.”
“I don’t need to hear this,” Justin said. They talked a few more minutes, then hung
up. Justin thought for a long moment,
then picked up his guitar again.
Eleven
Over the next few
days, Justin thought and thought about a way to bring up the whole idea of
boyfriends, girlfriends, and relationships in general. Nick saved him the trouble, however,
bringing it up one night while he was making Justin dinner.
“I got this cookbook, and it’s all low-fat,
low-calorie, low-sodium stuff,” Nick explained as Justin sat at the kitchen
table. “It sounds gross, I know, but a
lot of the recipes are really good. I
think I’ll make a good wife after this,” Nick said, laughing.
“About that,” Justin said, feeling nervous. “You never mention a girlfriend.”
“That’s because I don’t have one,” Nick said,
turning his back to Justin. Nick closed his eyes, feeling his hands
tremble. How did one simply come out
and say, “I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a sexy NSYNC boy?”
“I’m sorry.
Did I say something wrong?”
Justin did as Lance suggested and paid close attention to Nick’s body
language. He had stiffened and
immediately turned away.
“No. Not at all.”
Nick looked over his shoulder and smiled. “What about you?”
“Well, as everyone in the free world knows, Britney
and I are finished,” Justin said, playing with a placemat. “She’s a great girl, and I love her…but I’m
just not in love with her that way, you know?”
“Do I ever,” Nick said. He put the casserole in the oven and turned up the heat. “I am the poster child of relationships for
all the wrong reasons. I made my
sisters and brother swear to never follow my example.” He dug out salad fixings and began to dump
them in a large bowl.
“Can I ask you something about that?” Justin
said. Nick nodded. “You mention your dad, Aaron, BJ, Leslie,
Angel, even Ginger. But you never talk
about your mom.”
“Not much to talk about,” Nick said, and Justin
watched the broad back stiffen again.
“On your Millennium CD…that last song…what is it…A
Perfect Fan? I don’t hear you on it.”
Nick stopped fussing with the lettuce and turned
around, a smirk crossing his handsome face.
“Let me get this straight. You have our CD?”
“I, uh…I have a lot of CDs!” Justin said defensively.
“How many boyband CDs?”
“I have all of ours…BB Mak is good…Soul
Decision…okay, so I have all of your stupid CDs,” Justin said angrily,
blushing. Nick hooted.
“I can’t WAIT to tell your boys this…maybe I’ll
call Chris tonight.” Nick put a finger
on his chin thoughtfully.
“Don’t you dare!” Justin yelled, and Nick laughed.
“About that song,” Nick said when he had controlled
himself. “You’re right…I refused to
sing on it. That’s why I have I Need You Tonight on there…it’s practically a solo.”
“Didn’t Brian write it?”
“Yes, but I didn’t believe in what the lyrics were
saying, so I didn’t feel it was right to sing it,” Nick said. “I love her because I have to…she doesn’t do
much to earn it.”
“I’m so sorry,” Justin whispered, thinking of his
own mother and how close they were.
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, well, the other women in my family more than
make up for it,” Nick told him. “They
give me all the love she can’t even find in her heart for her own son.”
“You deserve someone that loves you,” Justin said,
and Nick’s heart melted at the concern in Justin’s eyes. Justin blushed and looked down. “I mean,
everyone does.”
“So do you,” Nick said bravely. “I can’t believe you don’t have a
girlfriend. I mean, I know we’re not anyplace for more than five minutes, but
everyone needs someone SOMETIMES.”
“I’m not interested in a girlfriend right now,”
Justin said truthfully. “Not what I’m
looking for.”
Nick turned away again. He wanted to read so much in that statement. He wanted to read
that Justin wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but that he’d take a
boyfriend. Nick was afraid to think
that way. What if he was incredibly
wrong?
Justin watched the defeated slouch of Nick’s
shoulders and sighed. This wasn’t going
well at all.
“Um, we’re going to The Coffee Pot tonight,” Justin
said after their basketball game the next day. “I’d really like it if you came
along.”
“Sure,” Nick said, smiling. He looked at Max and
Michael. “Up for some culture?”
“No, thank you,” Max said, and Michael shook his
head. Nick turned back to Justin. “I’ll be there with bells on. What time?”
“Eight,” Justin said, bending down to tie his
shoe. His hands were shaking and he had
to control them before he stood again.
“I’ll meet you out front.”
“Cool,” Nick said, smiling.
Justin was in front of the coffeehouse at
seven-thirty, just in case Nick was early.
He was nervous for so many reasons that he finally just mentally smacked
himself in the head and tried to get over it.
Nick wouldn’t even notice, probably.
Justin had learned the art of being subtle in his time out in the “real
world” and he decided that he liked it a LOT better then the over the top
lifestyle he had back home.
“Hi,” Jesse said, walking up to Justin. “Nick here
yet?”
“No,” Justin said, wiping his sweaty palms on his
shorts. “Why don’t you go get us a
table?”
“Sure thing,” Jesse said, going into the
coffeehouse.
At five minutes to eight, Nick came around the
corner. He wore a blue shirt and grey shorts and Justin thought he looked
gorgeous. “Hey, there!” Nick
called. “Am I late?”
“Nah, I’m early,” Justin told him. “Jesse has a
table for us.”
“Cool.”
Nick followed Justin in and they went to the table Jesse had saved. “Hi,
Jesse.”
“
“Good. I love music,” Nick said enthusiastically.
The manager of the establishment came up to the
microphone. “I’d like to thank you all for coming out and sponsoring the
artists in the community. Our first
performer isn’t from the area, but we’re not gonna hold that against him. Justin?”
The manager found Justin in the crowd and smiled at him. Nick’s mouth fell open, as did Jesse’s.
“What the hell?” Jesse whispered as Justin went up
and sat in front of the microphone. His guitar was leaning against the stool,
and he picked it up.
He played a few chords, then began to sing. “This is the place where I sit…this is the
part where I love you too much…is this as hard as it gets? ‘Cause I’m getting tired of pretending I’m
tough…I’m here if you want me, I’m yours, you can hold me…I’m empty, I’m
breaking, ‘cause you don’t see me…and you don’t need me…and you don’t love
me…in the way I wish you would…the way I know you could…”
Nick stared at Justin, amazed at the power that came
through the simple lyrics. The guitar
was perfect accompaniment. No one would
ever know that this was Justin Timberlake from NSYNC. “Amazing,” Nick
whispered.
“I dream in a world where you understand that I
dream a million sleepless nights…I dream of fire when I’m touching your hand,
but it turns into smoke when I turn on the lights…all speechless and faded,
it’s too complicated, is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends? ‘Cause you don’t see me…and you don’t need
me…and you don’t love me…the way I wish you would…the way I know you could…”
Justin’s voice trailed off and the room thundered
with applause. He smiled bashfully,
then looked at Nick. Nick’s eyes were
fixed on Justin’s face, and he absentmindedly began to applaud. Justin slipped off the stool and busied
himself with putting his guitar in its case as the next act stepped up behind
the microphone.
Twelve
“You shoulda
heard him, man,” Jesse was saying to Max as Justin approached the court the
next day. “He’s amazing!”
“You and
“Uh, no,” Justin said. “Where IS Nick?”
“He called me and said he couldn’t make it,” Max
said, shrugging.
“Oh,” Justin whispered, and after that he could
hardly keep his mind on the game.
He hadn’t really had a chance to talk to Nick after
his song. Nick had smiled and said that
Justin sounded wonderful, but they didn’t want to talk over the other
musicians. Nick slipped out early, and
Justin didn’t feel like he should call him so late. The only reason he had showed up at the court was to talk to
Nick, to see what he was thinking.
Justin played badly, and he apologized. After the
game finally ended, he walked home, deep in thought. Part of him wanted to call
Nick and see what was up. But another part of him said that maybe Nick hadn’t
caught the message in the song. Maybe
Nick, like Chris, wasn’t good with subtle.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
“Hello?” Justin said groggily. He glanced at the clock. He had fallen
asleep in front of the TV and it was almost
“Justin?
Hey, it’s Nick.”
“Nick!”
Justin sat up. “Hi. We missed
you this morning.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t feel like playing,” Nick
said. “Wanna come over?”
“It’s
“Oh, yeah. Sorry if I woke you. I was just drinking
all by m’self, and I thought, I need a friend to drink with. I need Timberlake!”
“You’re drinking?”
“Drunk, man!”
Nick said with a giggle.
Justin sighed.
Suddenly being riproaring drunk sounded like a good idea. “Gimme twenty.
I’ll be over.”
“Here ya go.”
Nick shoved a glass of whiskey into Justin’s hand as soon as he opened
the door.
“Uh, thank you.”
Justin took a gulp, letting the liquid burn a trail down his
throat. “Why are you drinking, Nick? I
thought the diet…”
“Fuck the diet,” Nick snapped. He flopped onto the
sofa and blew upwards to get his hair out of his eyes. “It’s not doing any
good, anyway. I’ll always be the fat Backstreet Boy.”
“Nick, no.”
Justin finished his glass and poured another from the bottle on the
coffee table. “You’re just perfect the
way you are.”
“Whatever…I don’t look like you,” Nick grumbled.
“Me? What do I have to do with anything?” Justin
asked.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Timberlake. All sexy and skinny and hot…your voice is
amazing, your body is amazing…shit, Justin…you’re sex on two legs,” Nick
slurred. Justin first noticed that Nick
swore a lot when drunk. He then focused
on what Nick had said. He downed his
glass and poured a third, feeling a lot more relaxed. “It’s your fault I’m drunk, dude.”
Justin tried to ignore that part. “You think I’m hot?”
“Hell, yeah!
Any guy would be stupid not to think that,” Nick told him. Nick tilted his head to the side and studied
Justin. “That song…you wrote it?”
“Uh, yes,” Justin said, leaning back against the
sofa cushions.
“Were you singing to me?”
“Uh, well,” Justin stammered.
“I really wish you were. I mean, I understand if
you weren’t. You’re too sexy to be
anything but straight.” Nick sighed and
closed his eyes. “I’d never be that lucky.”
“I’m gay, Nick,” Justin said, and Nick’s eyes flew
open. “I’m gay, and already tipsy, and
fuck, I’m in love with you,” Justin said, and Nick sat up.
“Say that again,” he demanded.
“I’m gay, and…”
“NO, the end, idiot,” Nick said.
“Iminlovewithyou,” Justin said in a rushed
breath. Nick began to laugh, and
Justin’s face burned with shame. “Fuck you,” he snapped, and he stood up. He
weaved for the door. His cellphone was
in the car. He could call Jesse to come get him, since he absolutely could not
drive.
“No!
Justin, wait!” Nick got up and grabbed Justin’s arm. His eyes were serious and sober. “You’re really in love with me?”
“Yeah. So?”
“God, Justin,” Nick said, grinning from ear to
ear. “Here I’ve been trying to deal
with the fact that I wanna jump your hot body twenty-four seven, but I never
let myself dwell on it, since I thought you were so straight. I’m bi.”
“No, you’re not.” Justin shook his head. It
couldn’t be this easy.
“Uh, last time I checked, I was,” Nick said. He released Justin’s arm. “Seriously. And I’ve been thinking about
you. A lot.”
“Me?” Justin whispered. “You want me?”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Justin couldn’t find a reason. He looked at Nick and blushed. “Wow.”
“Wow,” Nick whispered. They stared at each other,
then both moved in for a clumsy kiss.
Justin finally was able to lick and nibble at those
red lips he had thought about so much.
Nick’s hand wove up into his curls, tugging slightly as he sighed with
contentment. “Wow,” Justin said again
when the kiss ended.
“Stay with me tonight,” Nick whispered.
“Nick, I…”
“No…just to sleep.
I wanna talk with you tomorrow,” Nick said. Justin nodded, and Nick slowly led him to the bedroom.
Thirteen
Nick woke up at
Nick got himself to the bathroom and washed his
face and brushed his teeth, then he pulled on a clean pair of shorts. He tugged a tshirt over his head, then sat
down on the bed and waited for the room to stop swimming. This day was gonna suck. Not only was he
suffering through the worst hangover in his short life, but Justin Timberlake
was making coffee in his kitchen. He
didn’t remember much, but he vaguely remembered opening up to Justin about
something. Shit.
Justin had awakened at ten, after a few hours of
restless sleep. He had a slight
headache, but nothing he couldn’t deal with. He lay for over an hour, just
watching Nick sleep. Nick wanted him. Granted, Nick hadn’t said that he was
interested in Justin past that, but it was a start. This thought, however, made Justin more and more depressed as the
morning turned into early afternoon.
Nick was only after one thing…and the person Justin was becoming wasn’t
about to just give it up. Justin was
learning more and more about himself with every day, and he knew that he wanted
more then just a quick lay.
When Nick slowly made his way into the kitchen,
Justin was at the table, sipping at a cup of coffee and reading one of Nick’s
sports magazines. “Hey,” Justin said
softly.
“Hey.” Nick
blinked against the bright sun that filtered through the curtains over the
sink, and made a beeline for the coffee.
“Thanks…for making this.”
“Sure thing. Guess I’d make a good wife, too,”
Justin said, smiling. Nick carefully
walked back to the table and sat down. “Hope you don’t mind…I saw these in the
living room,” Justin said, pointing to the magazines.
“Of course I don’t mind,” Nick said. He was quiet
as he took a few sips of coffee. “I’m
sorry I slept so late.”
“Hello, it’s your house. Besides, you had a lot to
drink last night,” Justin said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Nick looked at him.
“Are you okay?”
“I didn’t sleep all that good,” Justin confessed.
“Did I kick you or something?”
Justin smiled. “No. Nothing like that. Kicking myself, actually.”
“About last night,” Nick began.
“Don’t say anything else, okay, Nick? I want to
salvage a good friendship from all this. We’ll just forget everything we said
last night, okay?”
“Um, what did we say?” Nick asked bashfully. “I
don’t really remember.”
“You want the truth?” Justin asked, and Nick slowly
nodded, then winced. “You said that you
think I’m hot and you want to jump my body.
I…I told you that I’ve been falling in love with you.” Justin blushed and wished he could crawl
into the magazine and die.
“That sounds familiar,” Nick said, trying hard to
remember. “Is that all I said?”
“Yeah…and we kissed. But, you know, I’m not really
interested in that, and I think we should just forget about it.”
“You were singing to me the other night,” Nick
realized. “You told me you were.” Justin nodded. “You’re in love with me.”
“Yeah, we kinda covered all this already,” Justin
said, sighing. “Really, Nick, it’s
okay. I just…”
“I love you, too,” Nick said, amazed at the thought
that Justin could possibly love him back.
Justin stared at him. “Didn’t I
say that?”
“Uh, no. You never made it past wanting my body,”
Justin whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” Nick said. “You thought that was all I wanted?” Justin
shrugged. “No, oh, no, Justin. I love spending time with you and just being
with you. It’s all one package.”
Justin smiled and blushed, dipping his head. “Oh.”
“And your song…damn, Justin, it was so good! You
totally need to write more things like that.
And you sang. You didn’t
perform, you just played and sang. I was
so damn proud of you,” Nick said.
“Thank you,” Justin whispered.
“I can’t believe this,” Nick sighed. “I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you,
and it seems all we had to do is get plastered.”
“YOU got plastered. I got a little tipsy,” Justin
corrected, swallowing a yawn. “You want
anything for breakfast? I learned how
to take care of hangovers after dealing with Joey on tour. Toast?”
“Toast sounds good,” Nick said. “But you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Justin said, standing up. Nick stood as well and caught Justin by the
elbow.
“Wait,” Nick said.
He cupped Justin’s face in his hands. “I wanna do this so I remember it
this time.” He pressed his lips to Justin’s, and Justin sighed. Justin rested his hands on Nick’s waist as
Nick’s tongue shyly slid into his mouth.
Justin whimpered, and Nick finally pulled back. “Okay.
I’ll remember that one.”
“Yeah,” Justin said, dazedly stumbling over to the
toaster.
They spent the rest of the afternoon in the living
room. Nick turned on ESPN and sat at one
end of the sofa. Justin stretched out,
lay his head on Nick’s lap, and quickly fell asleep. Nick dozed as well, his fingers stroking through Justin’s curls.
Fourteen
When Justin woke up around four in the afternoon,
Nick was lightly snoring above him.
Justin opened his eyes and turned his head slightly. Nick had his head back against the sofa, and
his eyes were closed. Justin smiled and
slowly sat up. “Hey,” he whispered,
kissing Nick’s cheek.
“What?”
Nick mumbled, opening his eyes.
“Oh, hey,” he said, smiling back.
“You know you’re smiling like an idiot?” Justin
teased.
“Look in a mirror, Junior,” Nick retorted.
“Junior?”
“Hey, kid, you’re almost a year to the day younger
than I am. Finally! I’m no longer the youngest!” Nick said triumphantly, and Justin laughed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better.
How about you?”
“I really needed that nap,” Justin said, yawning
and stretching like a cat. Nick looked
at him and swallowed deeply. “What?
What’s wrong?”
“I just...I still can’t believe this. You.
Me. I mean...you’re always
surrounded by beautiful people and...I don’t know.”
“Nick,” Justin said, turning to fully face
Nick. “What are you trying to say? That you’re not good enough for me? That
you’re some kind of fat loser who isn’t what I deserve? Get over it, baby. You’re what I want. I’ve been practically pining away like a
schoolgirl for a few weeks now. If I
wanted a fat loser, I’d go out with Chris.”
“You shouldn’t talk that way about your bandmate,”
Nick said, but he was smiling.
“I know.
Especially since he got me this place and all,” Justin said. He
remembered something and frowned. “I need to tell you something. He knows you’re here.”
“What?” Nick gasped.
“I told him...but I promise you, Nick, that he
won’t tell anyone. Chris talks a lot,
but he’s good at saying nothing.”
“Okay, if you trust him, I guess I should, too,”
Nick said.
“Don’t you trust any of your bandmates like that?”
Justin asked in surprise.
“I used to.
I mean, Brian is like my best friend, but he’s all caught up in married
life and all. Kevin’s a father
figure. I can trust him to take care of
me and tell me what to do. Howie get
too annoyed too quick lately...”
“What about AJ?” Justin asked softly.
“Oh, yeah, well, Aje...he’s different,” Nick said,
picking at the edge of his shorts.
“We...uh...we were a thing. Off
and on.”
“Oh,” Justin said, not knowing what to think. He had never had what could be called a
‘boyfriend,’ and he was a bit jealous.
“And now?”
“We’re just friends, Justin. He’ll always be like
my brother, but it’s not like it was.
Now I’m with you.” It was Nick’s
turn to be surprised. “Haven’t you ever had someone like that?”
“Not for more than a one night stand or a blowjob
or something,” Justin said. “That body
shot picture I told you about? It was with another guy. I’ve never been, well, involved with a guy
before.”
“Oh.” Nick
smiled. “I’m glad you picked me.”
“Well, prove it. I’m hungry. Make me dinner,” Justin demanded, then
laughed, unable to keep a straight face.
“You are NOT the boss of me,” Nick said, grabbing
Justin in a headlock and ruffling his curls.
Justin struggled and soon they rolled off the sofa onto the floor,
wrestling and shoving.
“No! No
tickling! Oh, Carter, you ass!” Justin yelped, laughing as Nick’s fingers
found his ribcage.
“What? Are you ticklish?” Nick said, moving his
fingers. Justin shrieked like a girl
and pushed with all his might, rolling Nick over. He straddled Nick’s waist
with his legs, pinning Nick’s long arms over his head.
“Now whatcha gonna do?” Justin asked,
smirking. Nick didn’t smile, just
licked his lips and looked up at Justin. “God, I love it when you do that,”
Justin said in a husky voice. He bent down and kissed Nick gently, then with
more passion. Nick wrapped his arms
around Justin, pulling him down until he was covering Nick’s body with his
own. They kissed for a long times,
hands slowly wandering but not really going anywhere. Justin couldn’t help but roll his hips against Nick’s body, and
he felt Nick meeting each roll with a welcoming thrust. Justin groaned and finally rolled onto his
back next to Nick.
“You’re right...we totally need to not rush this,”
Nick panted. He turned his hand and looked at Justin, then pounced. He kissed
Justin ferociously, nibbling at Justin’s neck and ears.
“Nick...oh fuck it’s been too damn long...” Justin
gasped, arching up. “So good...”
Nick abruptly stopped and sat up. “Sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been a long time for me, too.” He looked at Justin. “If you weren’t so damn hot...”
“Yeah, Mr. Bootylicious...you have room to talk,”
Justin said, smiling.
“I’ll make it up to you. Go home and get cleaned up.
I’m taking you out to dinner.”
“You’re taking me on a date?” Justin asked, delight
filling his blue eyes.
“You bet.
Now go, before I just ravage you here on my living room floor,” Nick
said. Justin pretended to think about
it, then slowly got up. “I’ll be over
in about forty-five minutes or so.”
“Okay,” Justin said. He bent down and kissed Nick, then went to find his shoes.
Fifteen
“Ya know, I don’t
really think it qualifies as a date when YOU are required to provide the
transportation,” Justin teased as he opened the door of his small house. “I mean, I just realized that I’M the one
with the car, and I refuse to go on a date on a motorcycle!”
“Like you don’t love motorcycles,” Nick retorted,
stepping through the door.
“Yeah, but I like MOTORCYCLES. Like Harleys. NOT little cheapo rice-burners like what you’re riding there,
bub,” Justin said, wrinkling his nose.
“You’re a snob,” Nick decided.
“Thank you,” Justin said, smiling cheerfully. He knew he wasn’t, and Nick knew he
wasn’t. He took a good look at Nick and
his heart stopped. Nick wore a pair of
grey dress pants and a dark green shirt that seemed to make his eyes even
bluer. “I, uh, wow. You look…” Justin trailed off, wanting to
rip the clothing off and do all kinds of dirty and delicious things to the body
underneath.
“Thank you,” Nick said, blushing slightly. He looked Justin over, liking what he
saw. Justin wore a black wifebeater
under a blue shirt that was buttoned except for the top three buttons. Black dress pants made his legs look long
and slender. “Damn,” Nick
muttered. He knew that normally Justin
went for clothing a bit more out of the ordinary, but this was what would make
him fit in. “You look so good,” Nick
said. “You should really dress that way more often.”
Justin laughed. “If I did that, JC would kill me.
Didn’t you know it’s in the NSYNC bi-laws that you have to look as outrageous
as humanly possible whenever you’re in public?”
“No…you’ll have to get me a copy of those bi-laws,”
Nick said. Justin shook his head.
“Sorry. You
have to take an oath, become a blood brother, sleep with every other member of
the group…” Justin counted things off on his fingers.
“What?” Nick whispered. Justin looked at him and stopped counting.
“Good God, Nick, I was kidding. Do you really think
I’d do that?” Justin looked
offended. “I’m not a slut!”
“I never said you were! I didn’t mean that! I…” Nick groaned and ran a hand through his
hair. “I just…I knew you were kidding,
but I even THOUGHT about you getting with someone else and I got jealous.”
“Really?” Justin looked immensely pleased and Nick
smiled shyly.
“Yeah.”
“Well, prove it.
Take me out for an amazing dinner.”
“On one condition.”
“What?”
“You haven’t kissed me yet,” Nick said
reprovingly.
“Oh, sorry.”
Justin pressed Nick up against the hallway wall and kissed him, his
hands reaching around to squeeze Nick’s ass. “Better?” Justin asked, pulling
away.
“I, uh, well, yeah,” Nick said, blinking hard. Justin smiled.
“Good. Let’s roll.”
“How did you find this place?” Justin gasped as
Nick gave him directions. He pulled into a parking lot and stared at the
beautiful Spanish-influenced building in front of him. “It’s beautiful!”
“I asked around,” Nick said. “Made some calls to see where the nicest
restaurant in town was.”
“You done good, kid,” Justin said, getting out of
the car. “Is it a Mexican restaurant?”
“Michael said it’s a little bit of everything,”
Nick told him. They went inside and
were led to a corner table. The room
was large but quiet, with hushed conversation barely audible.
“This is so nice,” Justin said. Nick was shocked to see tears in Justin’s
eyes.
“Justin, what’s wrong?” Nick began to grab across the table for Justin’s hand, but
stopped himself just in time. They were
in public, even if they didn’t know anyone in this town. “Are you okay?”
“I just…” Justin sat silently for almost five minutes,
trying to compose himself. Nick sipped at his water and patiently waited. “You
know how you make a list of things that you’d do if you were ever living a
“normal” life?” Nick nodded. He had
started that list when he was barely a teenager, and the list was long. “Well, one of my things was to go out on a
romantic date, where no one would know me and no one would care who I was,
where I was, or what I was doing. They’d just want to be with me. This is the
FIRST time I’ve ever done it.” Justin
smiled at Nick. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re so welcome,” Nick said, feeling a little
sad for Justin. He had everything, but
he seemed so lost. Nick knew the feeling, but it wasn’t as intense for him as
it seemed to be for Justin. He made a silent resolution to keep his
relationship with Justin as normal as possible.
“Well, look who it is!” A voice said behind Justin’s chair. Nick looked up and did a double take, finishing his bite of
chicken.
“Hi, Max,” he said, trying not to sound
disappointed. The night had been so
good, with the two of them talking and laughing and getting to know each other
on all kinds of different levels.
“Hey, Justin,” Max said in surprise. Nick knew why. This restaurant was one of
the most romantic spots in town…not somewhere one usually went with a
friend. “What are you two doing
here? It’s my sister’s birthday, and
she demanded we come here.”
“Well, we’re celebrating,” Justin said quickly.
Nick stared at him. “We’re celebrating…because Nick just found out he’s going
to be an uncle.” Nick’s mouth fell
open. He didn’t even LIKE the thought
of his sisters or brother having sex, though he knew it was probably happening.
“That’s great, man! Congratulations!” Max
said. “Your little brother?”
“God, I hope not!” Nick blurted out. “He’s only
fourteen!”
“Nick has an older half-sister,” Justin told
Max. “It’s her.”
“Well, that’s cool. I guess we’ll see you guys on the court, then. Later.”
Max gave a half-wave and left their table. Justin heaved a sigh of relief.
“If you would have said BJ or Leslie, I would have
kicked your ass,” Nick growled, and Justin laughed out loud.
“This was great,” Justin said softly as they got
out of his car in his driveway. “Do, uh, you wanna come in?”
“I don’t think so,” Nick said, and Justin looked
hurt. “No, I DO wanna come in…it’s just not a good idea.” Nick picked up Justin’s hand and played with
his fingers. “If I come in…I’m afraid
things are gonna happen that shouldn’t happen.”
“Nick, I agree with you, but I want you to hear me
out about something, okay?” Justin asked, and Nick nodded. “I think we shouldn’t rush this and just
make it a sex thing. I know we both want more than that. But if you think about it…we will really
only have this summer. Then we have to go back to the craziness that is our
lives. You’ll be busy, I’ll be busy,
and there will be the whole need to cover everything up. We need to take advantage of all the time we
have.” Justin paused, and smiled at
Nick. “BUT, I will allow you to end this date with a kiss.” He puckered up his
lips and Nick laughed. Nick gave him a chaste kiss and pinched his backside.
“I love you, you crazy boy. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Justin said, watching Nick hop on his bike
and ride away.
Sixteen
“Hey, baby boy,” Justin said, sleepily answering
the phone.
“Hello to you, too, sexy,” Chris replied. Justin’s eyes flew open.
“Oh! Chris! Hi!”
“Did we hook up?” Chris asked, amused.
“Who? Who did he hook up with?” Lance yelled in the
background. “If I see anything in the
papers, I’ll force you to tell me where he is and I’ll go there to kick his
diva ass!”
“Tell Lance to take a chill pill,” Justin mumbled,
yawning. “There’ll be nothing in the
papers, trust me.”
“I was just calling to see how you were, but it sounds
like you’re doing just great,” Chris said.
“Yeah,” Justin said, smiling happily.
“Getting any closer to finding what you want to do
with your life?” Chris asked softly.
“I think so,” Justin said, stretching. “I think I’m
finally learning how to be both Justin Timberlake, regular person, and Justin
Timberlake, NSYNC guy.”
“Good, J, I’m glad,” Chris said sincerely. “But I’m gonna go now. My boyfriend is
dancing around the room naked.”
“Good God, Chris, don’t give me that image,” Justin
groaned. “Later, dude.” He hung up and
rolled back over. The phone rang almost
immediately. “I THOUGHT you were gonna
rape your boyfriend!” Justin snapped
into the phone.
“Well, if you really WANT me to,” Nick said,
chuckling. Justin blushed all over.
“I, you see, Chris was on the phone and…never mind.
I can’t fix that one.” Nick laughed out
loud. “Hi, by the way.”
“Hi yourself.”
Nick laughed some more, then finally composed himself. “I was calling to see if my boyfriend would
like to go to the beach today, but apparently he has other ideas.”
“Stop it,” Justin moaned, and Nick laughed again.
“Am I? Your boyfriend?”
“I think you are…don’t you?” Nick asked timidly.
“Yes,” Justin said eagerly. “I’ll be over in a half hour.”
Nick watched Justin walk up the sidewalk and
sighed. He should have known that Justin would look beautiful dressed for the
beach. Nick had seen Justin dressed
this way many times, in a wifebeater and shorts, but things were so different
now. And Nick felt huge and oafish,
even though he had been losing weight steadily by altering his diet and getting
regular exercise. “Hi,” Nick said
sadly.
“What’s wrong? Is it Aaron? One of your sisters?”
Justin asked, concerned.
“No, they’re fine. You just…damn, you look fine,”
Nick said, and Justin laughed.
“That’s a bad thing?”
“No, you just…” Nick dragged a bare toe along the
carpet. Justin pushed his way inside
and dragged Nick with him.
“Listen to me, Carter. Quit being so down on
yourself, understand me?” Justin snapped. He shoved Nick onto the sofa and
pressed up against him. “I think you are gorgeous, and that’s all that should
matter.”
“Okay,” Nick said breathlessly, feeling himself
harden against Justin’s body. Justin
smirked and kissed him.
“A little happy to see me, there, Carter?” Justin
whispered. Nick moaned and closed his
eyes as Justin’s hand slid down to cup between Nick’s legs. Nick gasped at the initial contact,
wondering if he could keep from shooting right then and there. “Very happy, I’d say,” Justin murmured,
caressing and stroking.
“Fuck, Justin…don’t tease me…” Nick said in a
strangled tone. “Aren’t we…taking it
slow?”
“We can…I can stop…” Justin said, moving his hand
away.
“Fuck slow. Just do it,” Nick panted.
Justin chuckled and pulled Nick’s swim trunks down
to his ankles. He sighed as he looked at Nick’s thick, hard cock. “Beautiful,”
Justin said, bending in to lick it.
“Oh…Justin…” Nick gasped, fisting his hands in
Justin’s curls.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Justin said, then
took Nick in as far as he could.
“Yes…Justin…oh, baby…” Nick panted, thrusting
up. Justin took each thrust, opening
his mouth wide to let Nick move in and out. Soon Nick was fucking his mouth,
and Justin wasn’t even moving, really. He let his tongue slide along Nick’s
hardness until Nick began to really whimper, then Justin sucked hard. “Fuck me…oh, Justin, I’m…” Nick held
Justin’s head in place as he came.
Justin swallowed what he could, and patiently
waited until Nick released his hold.
“I’m guessing that was good, then.”
Justin stood and smiled down at Nick. “Who’s ready to go to the beach?”
Justin went to wash his face and hands, leaving Nick to stare after him, trying
to remember his own name.
Seventeen
Nick and Justin
tried not to spend every waking minute together, but it was difficult. They
both knew that at the end of the summer, things would no longer be easy and
“normal.”
“If it all stopped now, what would you do?” Justin
asked Nick one day as they lay on the beach.
Nick knew immediately what Justin was talking about.
“I’d go to school…study oceanography or marine
biology. I’ve already started looking at college catalogues.”
“Already?” Justin asked, surprised.
“The Backstreet Boys are on a downward spiral,
Justin. We all know that, and we accept it.
We may not even tour for this CD.”
“I hope you do, since you’re getting yourself all
buff and supersexy,” Justin teased, pinching Nick’s backside.
“What would YOU do?” Nick asked.
“I would follow you wherever you went, and throw
big college beer parties,” Justin answered, and Nick laughed. “Well, I guess I should go. I’m meeting
Jesse at six.” Justin stood. They had decided to only see each other
every other day, to keep things moving slowly. One of them usually broke the
rule, however, finding some excuse to call or come over. This time, it had been Justin.
“I can’t believe it’s been a month,” Nick said,
watching Justin.
“I know…you’ve been my boyfriend for a whole
month,” Justin said blissfully. “And
every day has been so great.”
“Why don’t you stay over tomorrow night?” Nick
suggested.
“Do you…are you sure?” Justin stammered.
“Yes, I am.” Nick gave Justin a very quick
kiss. “Go. Have fun with Jesse.”
“Glad you could make it,” Jesse said, slapping
Justin’s shoulder as he sat down. “One
of my ex-girlfriends is reading her poetry tonight…and usually she blasts me
somehow. It’s a riot.”
“I bet.”
Justin went to get a drink, then sat back down.
“So…what’s been up with you?”
“Not much…I hung out with Nick at the beach today.”
“You hang out with him a lot, don’t you?” Jesse
asked.
Justin decided to be partially honest. “I already
knew Nick…back in Florida.”
“Really?”
“We had NO clue we’d run into each other here. It
was QUITE a surprise.”
“I guess.” Jesse changed the subject and Justin sighed
with relief.
Justin could hold himself back no longer. At three o’clock, he got in his car and
drove to Nick’s. He wasn’t supposed to be there until six, but the day had
already been an eternity. He had
rearranged his CDs, gone for a walk, and worked out. He missed Nick.
“Is my clock wrong?” Nick asked, amused.
“No. I missed you,” Justin pouted, and Nick’s heart
broke.
“You’re too cute for anyone’s good. Get your ass in
here.” Nick stepped aside and Justin
obediently trotted in. “Dinner won’t be
ready for a while.”
“That’s okay. I’m not hungry,” Justin said, letting
his duffel fall to the floor.
“I am,” Nick said with a growl, pressing Justin up
against the wall.
“God,” Justin gasped as Nick bit down on his neck.
“Hello to you, too.”
“I’ve been thinking about this all day…and
yesterday…and the day before,” Nick said, and Justin stared at him. “No more
going slow.”
“But what if…”
“Justin, I love you. I really want to be with you, like forever. If that doesn’t work
out, oh well. That’s a chance you take
with any relationship. And I’ll NEVER find anyone who understands me and my
life the way you do.” Nick ran a hand
down Justin’s arm. “That and I really REALLY wanna make you scream.”
“Uh,” Justin said, shocked by this sudden change of
heart. “Okay, I guess you can do that.”
Nick laughed. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Nick leaned back against the wall and gave
Justin the Carter smirk. “You have two options. We can behave ourselves like
mature young men, and wait until after dinner.
Or, we can just go upstairs and get started now.”
“Now,” Justin said immediately, and Nick smirked
again.
“Good. I thought you’d say that, which is why I
never even started something for dinner.”
Nick took Justin’s hand and led him up to the
bedroom. “Wow. You cleaned for little
old me?” Justin asked, batting his eyelashes.
“Well, I needed us to have as much room as
possible,” Nick pointed out. “We’re both pretty big guys.”
“Right,” Justin said, gulping as he looked at the
bed.
“What? What’s wrong? We don’t have to do this if
you don’t want to,” Nick said immediately.
“No, I do. I DO.
I just…I’m nervous. I haven’t
done this in a while, and…”
“Are you a top or a bottom?” Nick asked suddenly,
and Justin blushed.
“I well…yeah. I’ve always been a top. I just…yeah.” Justin wanted to crawl into a drawer and die. Nick smiled sweetly.
“Well, me, too, so this is gonna be an interesting
relationship.” He thought for a moment,
then reached for the hem of Justin’s tshirt. “Why don’t you…” He kissed
Justin’s neck. “Make love…” Nick kissed
the other side of his neck. “To me, this time, and next time I’ll get to rock
YOUR world.”
“Oh, yes,” Justin said with a sigh. Nick slowly
lifted the shirt over Justin’s head.
Nick sat on the edge of the bed and began to kiss Justin’s stomach and
chest. Justin giggled a bit, then
sighed, resting his hands on Nick’s shoulders.
“You are so damn beautiful, Justin. All these years and I never noticed,” Nick
whispered.
“You’re one to talk,” Justin said softly. Nick unzipped Justin’s denim shorts and
shoved them to the floor. He moaned as he saw that Justin wore nothing
underneath.
“Prepared, were we?” Nick asked, arching an
eyebrow.
“Easy access,” Justin said with his own special
smirk. Nick laughed and pulled Justin
down onto the bed with him. They
kissed, Nick’s hands roaming over Justin’s body. They had touched each other in every way possible, licked and
sucked every inch of each other’s bodies, but they had never taken things this
far. Nick reached down to stroke
Justin, and he moaned, arching up to Nick’s touch. “No…fair…too many clothes…”
Justin panted, shoving at Nick’s shirt.
Nick stood and quickly undressed. Justin followed
every movement with a lusty gaze, his blue eyes wandering over Nick’s long body. Nick went to a drawer in the dresser and
pulled out condoms and lubricant. He
cleared his throat. “Okay…so I’ve been tested. Recently. When you live our life, and then add in the
fact that you’re screwing around with AJ McLean, you take precautions.” He looked Justin in the eye. “I’m clean…but
I would still rather use these.” He waved the condoms in the air. “Not because
I’m worried about getting something from you…but because I want to protect you,
just in case.”
“That’s fine,” Justin whispered, touched. Nick knelt by the bed and began to kiss the
inside of Justin’s thighs. Justin whimpered and closed his eyes. Nick got his fingers good and wet and began
to inch a finger inside. “Oh,” Justin said, surprised. He flinched slightly,
then moaned as the long finger went all the way in.
“You’re so tight and good, Justin…” Nick whispered,
waiting a while before adding a second finger.
“Oh, please, Nick, fuck me,” Justin begged, tugging
at Nick’s hair.
“And here I was trying to be romantic, saying I was
gonna make love to you,” Nick teased, getting up to put the condom on.
“Fuck, make love, screw, poke, whatever you wanna
call it…just DO it!” Justin
demanded. Nick chuckled and climbed
onto the bed.
“I love you SO much,” Nick whispered, sucking on
Justin’s earlobe. Justin wrapped his
flexible legs around Nick’s waist. Nick
slowly slid inside.
“Oh…wait…right…oh yes,” Justin said, his eyes
fluttering closed.
“You feel incredible.” Nick continued to slowly
move until he felt Justin’s legs squeeze him slightly, urging him on. He moved
faster, pushing in hard and steady.
Justin exhaled in little puffs, grabbing at the covers on the bed.
“Nick…touch me…please…”
Nick reached down to stroke Justin. Justin almost
meowed, arching into the touch as best he could. This beautiful sight was more than Nick could handle. “Justin…I’m
gonna…”
“I’m almost…there…” Justin panted.
Just as Nick thought he couldn’t hold back any
longer, Justin came, shooting up onto his chest with a yell. Nick continued to thrust, cumming hard as he
shouted Justin’s name. Nick rolled over
and lay next to Justin on the bed. “I thought that you were gonna make love to
me.”
Justin buried his head on Nick’s shoulder and gave
a giggle that JC would have been proud of.
“I just…I wanted it.”
“Well, hell, you can want that any time you want!”
Nick declared. Justin laughed.
“Can we get dinner now?”
“Anything you want,” Nick said, but they didn’t
leave the bed for over two hours.
Eighteen
“I think we need a shower,” Justin said, finishing
the last bites of his spaghetti.
“Speak for yourself,” Nick said in a haughty tone.
“I smell like roses.”
“If THAT’S what roses smell like, then what I
THOUGHT were roses were totally wrong,” Justin said, and Nick threw a piece of
bread at him. They were sitting on the floor of Nick’s bedroom, eating and
watching the Game Show Network.
“Parasite,” Nick said suddenly. Justin looked hurt.
“No need to call names.”
“No…the answer is parasite,” Nick said, pointing to
the television.
“What is a parasite?” The contestant answered, and
Nick hooted with glee.
“Normally I don’t even get to TRY to answer
Jeopardy questions…Howie the Know It All has to jump in right away. He’s such a nerd.”
“Sounds like JC.”
Justin brushed crumbs from his hands and picked up his dishes. “He knows a little something about
everything, I swear to God.”
“JC does seem really smart.”
“Until he opens his mouth,” Justin said, smiling.
“He’s bright enough, but good God, do NOT let the boy in front of a
microphone.”
“Sounds like me,” Nick sighed. “I can’t get anything right.”
“I know at least ONE thing you get very VERY
right,” Justin teased, and Nick blushed.
“Forget the dishes. Let’s shower.”
“Together?” Justin almost dropped his dishes.
“Yeah…the shower’s surprisingly big.” Nick tugged off his shorts and strode across
the room completely naked. “Unless you
don’t WANT to shower with me.” He
stopped with his hand on the bathroom door, pouting.
“Hell, yes, I do,” Justin said, carefully placing
his dishes on the floor before tearing off his own clothes. Nick laughed and hurried into the bathroom.
He adjusted the water before swinging the shower
curtain aside. “There is NOTHING I like more than an incredibly hot shower,” he
said to Justin. Justin said something
quietly as he stepped into the shower. “What did you say?” Nick asked, stepping
into the stall behind Justin.
“I said I like baths,” Justin said, blushing.
“Baths?”
“Bubble baths,” Justin added, and Nick had to
laugh. He got a mental picture of
Justin laying in a huge bathtub, up to his chin in bubbles. “Strawberry.”
“You are way too cute for anyone’s good,” Nick
informed him. “I promise to stock up on
a LOT of strawberry bubble bath. My
bathtub in Florida is WAY big enough for two.”
“Mine, too,” Justin said, tilting his head back to
douse his curls. Nick watched the water
slide down Justin’s body and swallowed deeply.
He couldn’t help but reach out and touch Justin’s flat stomach. His hand slid down lower, and Justin stopped
moving. “See something you like?”
Justin asked huskily.
“Oh, yes,” Nick murmured. He pressed himself up against Justin and kissed him. “I see a lot
I like.”
“Me, too,” Justin whispered, reaching down to grab
Nick’s ass as their cocks rubbed together.
“Turn around,” Nick ordered, and Justin
obeyed. He let the water stream onto
his chest as Nick picked up a sponge and began to rub it over Justin’s back.
“You are so damn hot,” Nick said quietly. “I can’t believe you’re with me.”
“You’re stuck with me,” Justin said in a strangled
tone.
“Good.”
Nick rubbed the sponge down over Justin’s ass and in between. Justin moaned and flattened his palms on the
wall. Nick leaned forward. “Fuck me,” he whispered, and Justin whirled
around so fast he almost fell. He
kissed Nick, biting down hard on Nick’s bottom lip.
“There’s not enough room in here for that, and I
sure as hell can’t hold you around my waist,” Justin said. Nick turned off the water and swept the
shower curtain aside. He practically
ran back into the bedroom to grab a condom.
Justin stood and dripped on the bathroom floor until Nick returned.
“Here.” He
shoved the condom at Justin and knelt over the seat of the toilet. Nick wiggled his ass in the air. “Well? You
just gonna look or are you gonna do something?”
“Oh, I’m gonna do something, all right,” Justin
said. He turned the water back on,
making it lukewarm. He ran his fingers through it, then slowly began to work on
Nick. Nick moaned, rubbing his cock
over the top of the toilet seat cover. “I’m
gonna do something that will make you scream…”
“Oh, GOD, yes,” Nick panted, moving back to meet
Justin’s fingers. Justin slid them out
and quickly slid the condom on. He
lined up and slowly moved inside. “Yes,
Justin, yes, yes, yes,” Nick chanted. Justin put his hands on Nick’s hips and began to slam inside.
“That’s not screaming,” Justin said, and put his
mind to making Nick scream. It didn’t take long.
“I want dessert,” Nick said drowsily as they lay in
a ball on the bathroom floor.
“Didn’t you just GET dessert?” Justin teased. “What do you have?”
“I have fruit and stuff…some fat free cookies…”
“Because I love you, I will do some
scavenging. You, however, must at least
get back into bed.”
“Yes, Dad,” Nick said. Justin smacked his stomach and he sat up with a yell.
“Okay…bed…got it. Hey, pick up a DVD
while you’re downstairs, okay?”
“Sure…anything in particular?”
“Nah,” Nick said, slowly standing up. Justin went into the bedroom and pulled on a
pair of boxers. They were Nick’s, and
they hung very low on his hips. Justin
laughed and went downstairs anyway.
He was balancing a bowl of fruit, a bottle of
water, and a DVD on a pile when someone knocked at the door. Justin jumped and dropped the water and
DVD. He opened the door and his mouth
fell open. “Max! Michael! Jesse!
Hey…”
“Hi, Justin…we, uh, wondered if you wanted to go
down to the park…there’s a free concert tonight,” Jesse said. “I was on my way
there when I ran into these two, and they suggested we stop for Nick. I tried to call you, but obviously you
weren’t home.”
“Obviously,” Jesse said, fidgeting. They all looked
at his attire and tried not to stare.
“Justin, get your sexy ass upstairs…I’m
hungry!” Nick whined from the
bedroom. They all looked up the steps.
“Uh, Nick, there’s someone at the door,” Justin
called up.
“Well, make them go away,” Nick said, trotting down
in just a pair of shorts. His eyes
widened. “Oh, uh, hi, guys.”
“What the fuck’s going on here?” Max asked.
Justin and Nick shared a glance. “C’mon in. We need
to tell you guys some stuff,” Justin said finally, stepping aside.
Nineteen
Max, Michael and
Jesse flopped onto chairs or the floor.
Justin and Nick sat next to each other on the sofa. “Okay,” Nick began,
then stopped. He had no clue what to say or where to begin.
“So, are you guys gay or what?” Michael said
bluntly. Nick studied his kneecaps, suddenly nervous.
“Yes, we are,” Justin said, and it felt good to say
it out loud. Not many people knew, and
he wasn’t used to saying it, but with Nick by his side, it felt okay. “And obviously, we’re together.”
“Were you together back in Florida?” Jesse asked
Justin.
“What?” Max asked.
“In Florida?” Nick said weakly, looking at Justin.
“I told him that you and I knew each other in
Florida,” Justin told Nick. He looked at Jesse. “No…we most definitely were not together in Florida. This is yet another surprising thing that’s
happened on this vacation.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone you guys knew each
other? What’s the big secret?” Max asked.
Nick looked at Justin, who had obviously become the spokesperson for
their relationship.
“We didn’t always get along back then…and it was
such a shock finding each other here,” Justin said finally. “Basically we never
got to know each other, which was a big mistake.” He smiled at Nick, who blushed.
“Any other secrets we should know?” Michael
teased. Nick and Justin looked at each
other.
“No, of course not,” Nick said quickly.
“Okay,” Jesse said, shrugging.
“That’s it?”
Justin asked, shocked.
“What do you want us to do, Justin? Run out of the
room screaming and trying to rub the gay cooties off?” Max asked. “We’re all
adults here. Sure, I don’t like the
idea of a guy coming after me, but you’re not coming after me. Either is Nick. We’re all friends, and we
accept your life.”
“Thanks,” Justin whispered.
“So, uh, you guys wanna come out to the park with
us?” Jesse asked.
Nick and Justin looked at each other. “Yeah…why don’t we meet you there?” Nick
suggested. “We need to get ready and
all.”
“Okay…we’ll be on the grass near the basketball
court,” Max told him. The three men
rose and left.
“That was…easy,” Justin realized.
“I wish it would always be that easy,” Nick
said. Justin lay his head on Nick’s
shoulder.
“We’ll just have to make it easy,” Justin said.
Justin stayed over at Nick’s house that night as
well. They got back from the park
around midnight, and went right to bed.
Justin woke up first the next morning, just laying and watching Nick
sleep. When Nick opened his eyes, he saw Justin watching him. “Hey,” Nick said
sleepily. He yawned and burrowed close
to Justin. Justin smiled. Nick took a long time to wake up fully.
“I was thinking,” Justin said.
“Thought I smelled smoke,” Nick said drowsily.
Justin flicked him in the shoulder.
“I think we need to come clean.”
“To who?”
“Our guys.
The ones in Florida. I need to tell Lance, Joey and JC where I am and
why I’m here, and you need to be honest with your guys.”
“Why?” Nick was suddenly awake. “I don’t want to
tell them!”
Justin was surprised at how childish Nick
sounded. “Do they know you’re gay?”
“Yeah, but if I tell them about you…the bubble’s
broken,” Nick said unhappily. “They’ll invade our lives here!”
“Nick, we have about a month left, and then this
world’s gonna disappear,” Justin reminded him. “We need to deal with it sooner
or later.” He tried to joke. “I bet you just don’t want to tell Kevin you
lied to him.”
“Shut up,” Nick sulked. He went into the bathroom
and closed the door. Justin sighed and
got up to make coffee.
“Hi, Jayce, it’s Justin,” Justin said, twirling his
coffee cup on the table.
“Justin? God, man, I’ve been worried sick!” JC exclaimed.
“I know…I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to concern you,” Justin said. “Hey…do you think you can patch through to Joey and Lance on your
other phone and call me back on my cell?”
“Uh, sure,” JC said. All of them had special phones installed at their homes, phones
with five-way calling for when they all needed to discuss things and didn’t
feel like getting together. “Be right
back.”
Justin drummed his fingers on the table and
waited. Ten minutes later, Justin’s
cellphone rang. “Curly, how are ya?”
“Hi, Chris. Is Lance there?”
“Yep…I have him chained to the bed.”
“Too much information,” Joey chimed in. “Hiya,
Justin.”
“Hey.”
Justin sighed. “Okay, I need to tell you guys something. First of all,
I’m in Texas.”
“Texas?” Lance asked.
“Yeah, I, uh, got a place here,” Justin lied, not
wanting to incriminate Chris. “I needed
time by myself, to see what I wanted, or even what I needed. I haven’t had my own life for years…every
mistake has been covered up, every wish has been fulfilled. I wanted to be
normal.”
“And you’re doing that in Texas?” JC asked.
“Yeah…actually, I’ve found out a lot of things.
I’ve found out that I can be Justin Timberlake of NSYNC as well as Justin
Timberlake on his own. I’m really learning how to separate the two and be
happy.”
“That’s great, J,” Chris said softly.
“Okay, so, this other thing.” Justin ran a hand through his curls. “I met someone down here, and we’re
involved. And before you freak, Lance, it’s totally on the lowdown.”
“That’s good, Justin,” JC said slowly.
“It’s Nick Carter.”
Joey laughed out loud. “You’re such a dumbass, Justin. Like we’d believe that.”
“No, it is,” Justin said. “We hooked up about a month ago.
We ran into each other here, and it just clicked.”
“You’re serious,” JC whispered.
“Yes,” Justin said. “And I hope you’ll all accept
it, and him. We really want this to
work out when we’re back to real life.”
“I always liked the kid,” Chris volunteered. “Plays
basketball good, good looking…”
“Hey,” Lance snapped. “I just hope you know what
you’re doing, Justin.”
Justin rolled his eyes, expecting nothing less from
Lance. “I know what I’m doing, Lance.
I’m falling in love.”
Nick leaned against the wall in the hallway,
closing his eyes. He heard the words
falling from Justin’s lips and realized he owed it to him to be honest with HIS
brothers, too.
Twenty
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Nick said in a small
voice when he entered the kitchen.
“It’s okay,” Justin said. “I know this all isn’t
very easy for you. It’s not easy for me, either. But I’m sure they love you
just as much as my brothers love me. They want you happy.”
“We’re not like you guys,” Nick sighed, sitting
down at the table. Justin got up and
poured Nick a cup of coffee. “Not
anymore. At the beginning we were, but now we’re just all going in such
different directions. We hardly see each other. I’m thinking that recording
this album will be really stressful.”
“I’ll be there for you,” Justin promised. “Even if
I’m not around, you can always call.”
“Thanks,” Nick said, smiling. He went over and
picked up the cordless phone. He stared
at it for a long time.
“Do you want me to leave?” Justin asked. “I can go
outside, or something.”
“No. I would rather you just sit here,” Nick said,
and Justin nodded.
“Lemme get a notebook…I have a few ideas I wanna
get down.”
“Okay.”
Justin got up and went to Nick’s desk while Nick tried to decide who to
start with. He decided to go with the
person that would definitely be the easiest.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Leigh…it’s Nick.”
“Hello, Nick, how are you?” LeighAnne asked
politely.
“Good, thank you. Is Brian around?”
“Actually, no. He’s over at Howie’s…going through
some things or something. Should I tell
him you called?”
“No…I’ll just call there. Thank you.” Nick hung up and sighed. This could be for the best.
Two birds with one stone and all.
“Hello?”
“Howie, it’s Nick.”
“Hey, Nicky, how are ya?” Howie said cheerfully.
“How’s camp?”
“Is Brian there?”
“Um, yeah,” Howie said slowly.
“Can you put me on speakerphone?”
“Okay.”
Nick heard a click.
“Hiya, Frack,” Brian called out.
“Hey,” Nick said.
Justin slipped back onto his chair and smiled at Nick before opening the
notebook. “I just wanted to tell you guys a few things.”
“Go ahead, we’re listening,” Howie said.
“First of all…I’m not at camp. I’m in Texas at the
beach.”
“Texas?” Howie repeated.
“Yeah…but if you MUST know, I’ve already lost like
ten pounds or something.” Nick couldn’t
keep the anger from his tone.
“That’s, uh, that’s great, Nick. Why’d you have to
lie, though?” Brian asked.
“Because I really didn’t feel like letting any of
you know where I was,” he said finally.
“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that now, and that…well…I’ve found
someone. I’m seeing someone.”
“Really?” Brian said happily, as Nick knew he
would. “Oh, man, Frack, that is GREAT.”
“Good for you,” Howie chimed in.
“It’s…well…it’s Justin Timberlake,” Nick finally
said.
“You don’t have to make me sound like the
plague!” Justin teased in a
whisper. Nick smiled.
“As in Bye, Bye, Bye Justin Timberlake?” Howie
gasped.
“Yes…that would be him.”
“Well…damn, Nick,” Brian said, surprised. “How the hell did you hook up with him?”
“Totally by surprise, trust me. But I just wanted
to tell you, so you knew when I came back.”
“Well, I just hope you’re careful,” Howie
said. “You never know with those guys.”
“He’s not a Nazi, Howie, he’s just an NSYNC guy,”
Nick snapped. “And he’s great and I love him.”
“That’s awesome, Nick,” Brian said. “Don’t worry, I’ll smack Howie in the head
for you.”
Nick smiled. “Thanks. Well…I gotta call the others, so I’ll see ya.”
“See ya soon, Nick,” Brian said warmly. Nick hung up and looked at Justin, who was
carefully trying not to listen.
“Hey, you,” Nick said. Justin looked up and Nick leaned over to kiss him. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Justin said with his dazzling
smile.
Kevin did everything Nick thought he might. He ranted
and raved about the fact that Nick had lied to him, and that Nick had pretty
much ran away. What if there was an emergency?
What if they needed him? Nick
told him that Aaron knew where he was, and Kevin fumed all the more. Nick knew what was at the bottom of it
all. He hadn’t trusted them with the
truth, and Kevin’s feelings were hurt.
Nick finally hung up on Kevin mid-rant, promising to call when he got
back to Florida. Nick rubbed his
forehead and groaned. “He is
impossible.”
“I see a lot of him in you, I think,” Justin
observed, and was rewarded with a yank of his curls.
“Don’t ever say that,” Nick griped, but Justin knew
he was kidding. “Okay,” Nick said, taking a deep breath. This was the hardest
call of all. “I’m, uh, gonna go outside
for a bit,” Nick said.
“Okay,” Justin said, looking at him strangely. “I’ll be right here.”
Nick went out to the backyard and sat on the
ground. He slowly dialed the number he knew so well. “Bone’s House of Hell, Bone speaking.”
“I thought you had decided that your mother might
not like you saying things like that,” Nick said with a grin.
“Well, she suggested that one, so I don’t really
think she minds,” AJ said, laughing. “Hiya, Junior.”
“Hi…um, AJ…I need to tell you some things.”
“Speak at me, brother.”
“First of all, I’m not at fat camp. I’m in Texas.”
“Well, in some cultures, I’m sure Texas would be a
hellish kind of fat camp, but nevermind that.
Why Texas?”
“Because it was close and has a beach,” Nick said
honestly. “I’m living on my own, just
being a normal guy, and it’s awesome.”
Nick knew he could tell AJ the truth. He could always tell AJ
everything.
“That’s great, Nick. I know that we all missed out
on that, but you especially,” AJ said. “I’m really glad for you.”
“And I’m kinda involved,” Nick blurted out. AJ paused very briefly.
“Oh, really?
Is this a tumble into bed for hours kinda involved, or a walk under the
stars and talk for hours kinda involved?”
“Both,” Nick said, blushing.
“I bet your little cheeks are beet red right now,
aren’t they?” AJ teased, and Nick glared at him, though, of course, he couldn’t
see it. “Aww…my little Junior,” AJ said
fondly. “So, it’s good?”
“It’s really good, Aje…I just wanted you to know
about it,” Nick said softly.
“That’s cool, man.
I only want you happy. I love you, Nick.”
“Love you, too,” Nick said softly. “And, um, by the way…it’s Justin
Timberlake.”
He heard AJ choke on something. “Justin Timberlake? The boy with the fro?”
“That would be the one,” Nick said.’
“Well done, Nickolas. That young man is a
hottie…sex on two legs, even.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Nick said, and AJ
laughed.
“I can’t believe you two hooked up. That’s great,
man. I can’t wait to hear the whole story.”
“You’ll get it when I come back,” Nick
promised. They chatted a few more
minutes, then hung up.
Justin walked out into the yard. “Everything go okay?”
“Yes,” Nick said.
Justin lay down and put his head on Nick’s lap. “We’re officially out to both NSYNC and the
Backstreet Boys.”
“Good. Now
can we just relax and enjoy the few weeks we have left?” Justin asked, reaching
up to touch Nick’s cheek.
“Definitely,” Nick said, stroking Justin’s curls.
Twenty-One
“Hey…sorry I’m
late.” Nick jogged up to the basketball court.
“I overslept.” He grabbed the
ball that Max tossed to him and started warming up.
“That’s okay. Jesse’s late, too,” Max said.
“Someone keep you up last night?” Michael teased
gently. He looked over at Justin, who
was in a playful argument with Alex.
“No…we actually weren’t together last night,” Nick
said, slapping Michael on the back of the head. “Pervert.”
“Hey, it’s none of OUR business if you two
lovebirds wanna get freaky,” Max said, and Michael groaned.
“NO visuals, please.”
“You two are just wrong,” Nick said, but he
grinned. It was wonderful how the others had accepted the relationship he had
with Justin. “Where IS Jesse, anyway?”
“His little sister is coming along. Something about a photography project she’s
doing. She needs to take pictures of people moving around, so he’s bringing her
here,” Max said.
“Hey,” Justin said, walking over with Alex. Nick kissed him with his eyes.
“Hi, there.”
“Hey, guys!”
Jesse came walking across the nearby baseball field, a teenaged girl in
tow. “Sorry…Rebekah couldn’t find her
camera.”
“That’s NOT true.
YOU couldn’t find your car keys,” Rebekah retorted.
“Everyone, this is my kid sister, Rebekah. Rebekah, this is everyone,” Jesse said,
bending down to tie his sneaker.
Rebekah let out a shriek and Jesse almost fell over.
“Oh, my GOD!
Why didn’t you tell me? Why
didn’t you tell me you knew Justin Timberlake?” Rebekah yelled, almost dropping her camera in her excitement.
“Oh, my GOD!”
“He’s Justin…he’s a friend,” Jesse said, giving her
an odd look. Justin was studying his
sneakers, and Nick wanted to hug him.
“No, he’s Justin Freaking Timberlake! From NSYNC!” Rebekah looked around the group, to see if any other NSYNC
members were lurking around. “And
YOU’RE Nick Carter!” She pointed at
Nick, then clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Wow,” she said in a muffled tone.
“Is he in NSYNC, too?” Max asked, laughing. It was
obvious he didn’t believe her.
“No, silly. He’s a Backstreet Boy!” Rebekah scolded. She looked at Nick and
Justin and sighed happily. “Wow.”
“Rebekah, how about you just wait over here for a
second, okay?” Nick said finally, giving her a big smile. “We all need to talk, and then you can take
ALL the pictures you want.”
“Okay,” Rebekah said, walking over to where Nick
was pointing. The ten men moved a few
yards away.
“Wanna explain what’s going on here?” Jesse
demanded. “No WONDER I thought Justin looked familiar. His face is all over my sister’s bedroom
walls!”
“Are you really in a…boyband?” Alex asked,
wrinkling his nose.
“Yes…we both are,” Nick said. Justin seemed to have
lost the ability to talk.
“Holy shit,” Max whispered. “And you were so good
up there behind the drums!”
“Just because we’re in pop groups doesn’t mean we
don’t have talent,” Nick said angrily.
“Justin sings like a dream, and he writes his own music. It’s not all some fake, sugary thing.”
“We never said it was,” Michael said quickly. “It’s
just, well, hell…boybands?”
“I need to walk.”
Justin turned on his heel and strode away.
“I’d better go after him. You have eight…you can start without us. And tell Rebekah we WILL pose for pictures
for her!” Nick called over his shoulder
as he followed Justin. “Justin!”
“What?”
Justin kept walking, wiping at his eyes.
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Can’t you even play a bit?” Nick said, putting a
hand on Justin’s arm.
“No.
HOME. I’m going back to
Florida.”
“What?” Nick asked, shocked.
“This little game is over, Nick. We’re lucky it lasted this long. I’ll go back to Florida, and be the Justin
that people like her expect me to be.”
“No, Justin, no. Please? We have three weeks left,”
Nick begged. “Please, Justin, don’t leave me.”
“I’m not leaving you, Nick. I’m just…”
“Leaving me,” Nick finished. “So she recognized us. Oh well.”
“But did you hear the guys?” Justin had to smile a little. “We tell them
we’re gay, they’re fine with it. We tell them we’re in a pop group, and they go
ballistic.”
“That is kinda weird,” Nick admitted,
grinning. “Justin, if they wanna judge
us because of all that, fuck them. They’re
not the friends we thought they were, and we move on together.”
Justin looked at Nick for a long moment. “I knew
there was a reason I loved you.”
“Not just because of the way I make you scream?”
Nick asked innocently, and Justin raised an eyebrow.
“I believe I remember just the other night a
certain Backstreet Boy who kept getting MY name confused with God’s,” Justin
said thoughtfully, and Nick smacked his ass.
“C’mon. Let’s play. We’ll give her pictures she never dreamed of,” Nick said. He took Justin by the hand, and started
dragging him back to the court.
Twenty-Two
Ten Days Later
“I have the GREATEST idea!” Nick said as he burst through Justin’s front
door.
“How the HELL did I get all this stuff?” Justin
muttered, taping yet another box shut. He was sending back home to Florida most
of the things he had acquired in Texas.
“Because you just couldn’t live without all this
crap,” Nick told him. “Guess what I thought?”
“I have no clue,” Justin said, biting the tape so
it would tear. Nick grabbed the tape
and through it across the room. “Nick!”
“I need your attention on ME, baby boy,” Nick said,
putting his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “ME.”
“Fine, okay,” Justin sighed, looking at Nick. “I’m
paying attention.”
“I was thinking that you should come back to
Florida with me!” Nick said excitedly.
“Um…”
“No…WITH me.
You and me…we can sail the Gulf, go back in style.”
“On your boat?” Justin said in disbelief.
“Um, that’s how you USUALLY sail,” Nick said. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Well, there was that whole thing with that reef or
island or whatever it was you hit,” Justin reminded him.
Nick glared at him. “That was one freaking time…and
it was an accident. That won’t happen
this time. Besides, didn’t I make it here okay?”
“True,” Justin admitted.
“It will be so great. Just the two of us out on the water. Please, Justin?” Nick pulled a pout that put Justin’s to
shame.
“Okay,” Justin sighed. “Okay.”
“Great!” Nick hugged Justin, then cheerfully began
to tape boxes shut.
“Here they are!” Max yelled, waving his whole body.
“Nick! Justin! Over here!”
“Like we didn’t notice them all,” Nick muttered,
blushing slightly as everyone in the bar looked to see who Max was yelling at.
“Be nice,” Justin said, nudging Nick forward.
“Here they are…the little songbirds,” Max said,
moving so Justin and Nick could sit.
“Don’t you mean LOVEbirds?” Michael corrected.
“The singing lovebirds,” Jesse amended.
“You guys are cracked in the head,” Justin said,
and Jesse ruffled his curls.
“Gotta get it in while we can, since y’all are
leaving in a few days,” Jesse reminded him.
“You guys will just all have to come visit us in
Florida,” Nick said. “You can bring your sister.”
“No thank you. I don’t need her having a heart
attack,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes.
“You going on tour or something when you get back?”
Max asked Justin. Justin shrugged.
“Nah…we’re still on vacation. Nick’s going back in the studio, though, and
they might tour.”
“Do we get free tickets?” Michael asked jokingly.
“No…if only because I hardly think anyone will buy
tickets to begin with,” Nick said sadly.
Justin punched him. “Knock it off. No one WILL want to come see you, if you’re
all down and bitchy all the time.”
“Down and bitchy sells tickets,” Max told him.
“Look at Korn…Limp Bizkit…all them.”
Everyone laughed.
“You ARE all welcome to come visit,” Justin said. “Though our lives are
a little crazier back in Florida.”
“I for one will definitely come,” Max said. “I
wanna live in the lap of luxury!”
“I’ll make a reservation for you,” Nick told him.
“One seat in the lap of luxury.”
“Yeah…Lance, I swear. We’ll be back by Thursday, and as soon as I set foot in Florida,
I will call Johnny,” Justin promised.
“Look…Nick’s waiting for me at the marina. I have to go. See you soon.” Justin hung up and looked around the small house one last time.
He had really enjoyed himself in this place, and it was hard to leave. He made sure that everything was where it
was supposed to be, and left the key under the mat out front. He shut the door with a sigh, and headed for
his car.
“You look sad,” Nick observed as Justin walked
towards him. Their bags were already on the boat. “What happened?”
“Just gonna miss this place,” Justin sighed,
looking around.
“We’ll make it just as good back home, Justin.
Don’t you think so?”
“I’m a little worried about it,” Justin admitted.
“It’s a totally different world there.”
“But we’re gonna try, right?” Nick asked
worriedly. Justin smiled.
“Of course. Let’s get out there.”
They stretched the trip out as long as possible,
lazily drifting through the beautiful blue water. They made love on the boat, the waves adding even more passion to
their bodies. They spent the days on
the deck, talking and daydreaming and planning. Justin didn’t fully believe
that any of their plans would come true, but it was nice to talk about
things. And he spent much of the time
trying to boost Nick’s low self-esteem.
Nick had lost all the weight he had wanted to, and looked incredible,
but he was still worried. Worried about
his place in the Backstreet Boys, worried about any possibility of a solo
career, and just fretful in general.
Justin didn’t tell him of his doubts about their own relationship. Nick
didn’t need anything else to get paranoid about.
“Looks like someone’s waiting for you,” Nick said,
shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked at the marina.
“CURLY!” Chris screamed, jumping up and down. Lance tried to quiet him down, but Chris
grabbed him and tried to make him jump as well. When Lance resisted, Chris lost his balance and fell into the
shallow water, taking Lance with him.
“Are you SURE we can’t just turn around?” Justin
begged, rolling his eyes.
“At least someone came to meet you,” Nick
said. Justin looked at him.
“Don’t start, Nick. I’m here for you, okay? You call me anytime, day or night. We’re
gonna be inseparable.”
“Right,” Nick said, nodding.
“But give me a kiss now, just in case we get caught
up in things,” Justin said, and Nick eagerly complied. Neither of them would have guessed that it
would be the last kiss they would share for over five months.
Twenty-Three
Nick and Justin
were allowed to go home and get settled that evening, but their groups pounced
on them the next day.
“Please don’t go running off like that again,”
Lance said, hugging Justin tight. He hadn’t been able to really talk to him at
the marina, since they had been busy unloading Justin’s things and trying to
get comfortable around Nick. “You
really had us worried.”
“Sorry,” Justin said, surprised.
“No, I’m sorry. I never should have flipped out on
you like that,” Lance replied, biting his bottom lip.
“My baby boy here was FRANTIC with guilt,” Chris
informed Justin, leaning around him to steal one of JC’s French fries. Lance blushed and smiled a bit.
“It’s okay, Lance, really. I know you’re just
looking out for the group.”
“Well, speaking of the group…” Joey finished his
bite of cheeseburger. “Did you call
Johnny?”
“Yeah…he said something about a meeting?” Justin
asked.
“Meetings…plural,” JC told him. “With FreeLance. And Jive.”
“FreeLance?” Justin looked at Lance.
“They want us to do a movie,” Lance mumbled. “All of us.”
“That’s insane!” Justin exclaimed. “No offense,
Lance, but I don’t want to do a movie.”
“None of us do, Justin,” Chris said. “We’re gonna
talk them out of it. But we really need
to discuss this over the next few days…the meeting is on Monday.”
“Okay,” Justin sighed, seeing any kind of free time
going down the drain.
“We have a meeting with the producers tomorrow, and
the writers the next day,” Kevin told Nick.
“This album needs to kick ass.”
“It will,” Nick promised him, not believing his own
words. “Um, when do we go into the
studio?”
“We start rehearsals next week, and then record the
following week,” Howie said.
Brian clapped Nick on the back. “Better pack a bag, Frack…you know we’ll be
sleeping at the studio practically.”
Nick groaned and closed his eyes. “So much for coming home and settling into
things at an easy pace.”
“It would have been easier if you wouldn’t have run
away in the first place…screwing around with NSYNC members.” Kevin shook his head and frowned. Nick had him by the shirt.
“Leave Justin outta this. He has NOTHING to do with
the Backstreet Boys. You don’t talk about him, and I won’t talk about all the
floozies you sleep with behind Kristen’s back…deal?” Nick released Kevin and went to call Justin. He got the voicemail
and left a message. “Hey, babe, it’s me.
God, I want to go back to Texas, how about you? Miss you. I hope we can
hook up sometime soon, though I am incredibly busy over the next few
weeks. Love you.”
“Dammit,” Justin swore as he came back from the
bathroom and checked his phone. “Nick
called.”
“Tell us about the Blond Wonder Boy,” Chris said,
looking at Justin expectantly.
“What’s to tell?
He’s sweet, he’s hot, he’s talented, he’s sexy.” Justin sat down and drank some of his water.
“Is he good in bed?” Chris asked, and Joey choked
on his food.
“Hello…straight person here.”
“Hello…bisexual person here who really isn’t
interested,” JC said, raising his hand.
“You really love him, don’t you, Justin?” Lance
asked gently.
“Yeah…too much, I think. You know how our lives
are. Double that, and you have quite
the impossible relationship. I will never get to see him, and we’ll end up just
trading emails and voicemails. I should
have broken it off in Texas.” Justin
got up and left the table.
JC followed him.
“Justin, no. Don’t talk like
that. You’re so lucky,” JC said
wistfully. “I’d give anything to find someone who knows what it’s like, who can
understand all the stress and sadness as well as all the good things about our
lives. Fight for it.”
“I’ll try, JC, but you know what happens…we get
busy, Jive and everybody takes care of running our lives, and there isn’t room
for anyone on the outside.”
“But Nick’s not really ON the outside,” JC reminded
him. “He understands.”
“Yeah,” Justin said, sighing.
“Hello?”
Nick mumbled.
“Is it too late?”
“Justin. Hey.”
Nick looked at the clock. It was midnight. “No, of course not.”
“I’m sorry to call so late, but we just got out of
the first of many meetings,” Justin said apologetically. “I missed you.”
“I miss you, too,” Nick said, yawning. “I was busy wiping Kevin’s ass all over the
basketball court today. It took a lot outta me.”
“You’re out of practice,” Justin said, grinning.
“How are things going?”
“Okay…we’re already fighting with the record
company…we want this album to be all of our own stuff, and they want to use
writers,” Nick said. “And it ends up we
ARE touring in the spring.”
“Well, that’s good,” Justin said, his heart
falling. He’d never see Nick then. “I’m sure you’ll win your fight. We have one
of our own,” he said, then stopped. Maybe he shouldn’t tell Nick about it.
“Oh, no, not you, too,” Nick said, and Justin
decided to tell him anyway.
“They want us to make a movie. Together. All five of us. Do they not see DISASTER written all over
this?” Justin asked. “We’re gonna talk
them out of it.”
“I think you should make a porn,” Nick said, and
Justin finally had to smile.
“All of us?”
“No. Just you. And maybe Lance. He’s hot.”
“Hey!”
Justin yelled playfully.
“I want to see you,” Nick whispered.
“I know,” Justin sighed. “Maybe in a few weeks. I
want quality time, not just three minutes here and there.”
“I know. I still love you,” Nick said in a small
voice.
“I love you, too,” Justin said, closing his eyes.
Twenty-Four
“Okay, Nick, that’s good,” AJ said from the control
room. “That does it.”
“Thank God.”
Nick tore off the headphones and left the recording area. “Please tell me I can leave now.”
“Why?” Brian asked.
“Justin’s back in town…I want to see him,” Nick
said. “Do you realize we’ve been home
over a month and I haven’t been able to see him? At ALL?”
Kevin and Brian looked at each other. “We have a dinner tonight, Nick. We told you about that,” Kevin said gently.
“A dinner? With who?”
“Jive,” Brian said. “Remember? At the Sunbury?”
“Oh, shit, yeah.”
Nick clapped a hand over his eyes. “Bonehead here.”
“Think about it, though, Nick. If this is a Jive party, NSYNC will probably
be there,” AJ pointed out. Nick’s face
lit up.
“Yeah. You’re RIGHT! I’m gonna go home and start getting ready.” Nick tore out of the studio. AJ sighed and
looked at the others.
“This is gonna be hard for them.”
“I for one don’t think it’s gonna last,” Howie
said. “Look at everything that’s
happened already. A month without
seeing each other? Once we go into dance rehearsal next month for the new
choreography, he’ll have absolutely NO free time.”
“That’s positive thinking, Howie,” AJ said, shaking
his head. “It’s just new choreography
for the old songs. He’ll pick it up right away.”
“I’m kinda with Howie on this one,” Kevin said.
“Maybe we should talk to him about the whole Justin thing.”
“We are NOT,” AJ snapped. Everyone stared at him. “Y’all almost KILLED Nick with that whole
losing weight thing…now you wanna tell him to drop the man he loves? I just WISH I could find someone that loves
me the way Nick loves Timberlake.” AJ
angrily stalked out of the studio.
“I can’t get Justin on his cell,” Nick said
morosely as the limousine pulled up in front of the luxury hotel.
“He’s probably inside,” Brian said kindly. “He
probably has it turned off.”
“Right.” Nick turned off his own cell and shoved it
in the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
The Backstreet Boys got out of the limo and made
their way inside, waving and smiling at the fans. Nick posed for a few pictures, signed some autographs, then
headed inside with only one purpose in mind: finding Justin.
“There.” AJ grabbed Nick and discreetly
pointed. Justin, Lance and Chris were
holding court in a corner. “Go get your boy.”
Nick took a deep breath, straightened his jacket,
then made a beeline for that corner.
Justin looked up and did a double-take, a huge grin covering his
face. Nick grinned back, knowing that
he was smiling like a fool. Lance
looked up and smiled as well. “Hello,
Nick.”
“Hi, Lance, Chris.” Nick looked at Justin, trying his best to conceal his feelings.
“Hello there, Justin.”
“Carter,” Justin said, raising his beer in a
slightly arrogant toast. Nick was taken
aback, then saw that the three men they had been talking to were watching them
carefully.
“See?” Nick said to the men. “We CAN all just get
along.” He looked back at Justin. “I
just thought I’d say hey before hitting the bar. See you guys later.”
Nick went to the bar and Justin followed him with
his eyes. “Dammit. My drink’s gone,” Lance said sadly.
“I’ll refill it,” Justin said immediately, grabbing
Lance’s glass and practically running to the bar. “Hi,” he said softly to Nick.
Nick turned and smiled. “Jack
and Coke,” Justin said to the bartender, handing him the glass.
“How have you been?” Nick asked. “I tried calling you…”
“I know…it’s been crazy. I feel like our answering
machines and voicemails talk more than we do,” Justin said. “I hate it.”
“Me, too,” Nick said, sighing. They walked a few feet away so they wouldn’t
be overheard. “I miss you so damn
much.”
“Me, too,” Justin whispered.
“And I’m just gonna get busier. We’re starting dance rehearsals next
month. Then I’ll be so busy I won’t
even have time to breathe,” Nick said sadly.
“Look, Nick, maybe we should…”
“NO,” Nick said forcefully. “We’re not breaking
up. So we’re busy now…so what?”
“I just…I know how hard it is to concentrate on
work when other things are going on,” Justin said sadly. Nick looked at him.
“What happened to what we had in Texas, Justin?”
“Nothing…I feel the same way. But…”
“But you’ve changed back to Florida Justin now.
NSYNC Justin, who can’t think for himself,” Nick said angrily. But he wasn’t
angry. He was hurt. “Are you SURE you feel the same way?”
“Yes, I do,” Justin promised. “Don’t get mad,
Nick.”
“I just don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to end
this,” Nick said, biting his bottom lip.
“You won’t…and we won’t. We won’t end it, okay?”
Justin said, though he knew it was probably what they should do. “We’ll just keep calling and stuff…until we
can get together for a while. We’re,
uh, going out of town again,” Justin finished sadly. “Next week. Some thing in
L.A. we have to go to. I tried to get out of it…but it’s charity.”
“Right,” Nick said, nodding.
“And then…JC’s doing some producing and wants my
help. I’ll probably be out there for two or three weeks,” Justin said. Nick sighed.
“Well, I’ll be in rehearsals, anyway. Just call me, okay?”
“Of course,” Justin said. “You, too.”
“Justin, c’mere,” JC called, waving at Justin.
Justin sighed.
“I gotta go mingle.” He looked up at Nick with love
in his eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Nick said softly. He touched Justin’s hand quickly, then
Justin went over to JC.
Twenty-Five
Seven Weeks Later
“I heard and I’m so excited!” Justin almost yelled into the phone.
“Huh?” Nick said sleepily.
“I heard about the whole awards presentation
thing!”
“What presentation thing?” Nick asked, looking at
the clock. “Justin, it’s only four in the morning your time. What are you doing
up?”
“I set my alarm so I could call you,” Justin said
eagerly. “You’ll be out here next week!”
“I will?”
“Yeah…I heard that the Backstreet Boys are
presenting an award for that environmental thingy. You’ll be here!”
“Oh, no, I won’t,” Nick said apologetically. “Only Kevin and AJ.”
“What?” Justin whispered.
“I’m sorry, Justin. They didn’t need all of us…and
I have a boat race that week.”
“You had the chance to come out here, and you
didn’t even try?” Justin asked.
“Justin, this race…”
“Fuck the race. I’ve been working my ass off out
here, and the only reward I can think of is seeing you again. I thought it
might finally be happening, but you’d rather putt around in your little rowboat
then see me!”
“Do you KNOW how expensive that boat is?” Nick
yelled back. “This race could make us.
It could really put us up with the best!”
“And apparently I’m NOT the best in your life,
Nick, or you’d skip the race and come to California,” Justin said.
“You’re one to talk. I saw JC last week. He managed to leave the studio enough to
come back for a few days…where the hell were you?”
“Something came up,” Justin said defensively.
“Of course it did,” Nick said with a sigh. “I
should have KNOWN this wouldn’t work. You’re not interested.”
“When did I say that?” Justin protested.
“You don’t have to say it. I can hear it anyway.”
“I’m busy out here, Nick, I can’t just up and
leave!” Justin snapped.
“This was a bad idea from the start. You are NOT
the kind of person to have a relationship with,” Nick said. “Your career will always come first.”
“At least I HAVE a career!” Justin said, and regretted it immediately.
“Goodbye, Justin.” Nick hung up the phone. He rolled over, buried his face in his
pillow, and cried.
“Justin, are you even paying attention?” JC
asked. “Hold up,” he said into the
microphone, and the musicians stopped playing. “Don’t you think the bass line
is off?”
“Yeah, Jayce, sure,” Justin said absently. JC sighed and spoke into the mike again.
“Take fifteen, guys.” He flipped off the microphone and looked at Justin. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say,” Justin said, blinking
hard. JC leaned forward in his chair
and took Justin’s hands in his.
“What happened?”
“Nick…we…” Justin blinked the tears back and drew a
ragged breath. “God, I’m such a girl…we broke up.”
“You what?” JC gasped.
“Broke up. We fought. We broke up. It was crazy, anyway, I mean, look at all the time
that’s passed since we got home, and we have seen each other once, at that
party.”
“You’ve both been busy.”
“Too busy…he isn’t coming out here because of some
retarded boat race, and he has the balls to get pissed at ME for not coming
back when you did!”
“Did you tell him it was my dad’s birthday?”
“No, he didn’t let me,” Justin said.
“Did you try?”
“Well, no,” Justin said in a small voice.
“This work is important to you. The boats are important to him.”
“I don’t care!”
Justin said, sounding like a little boy. “It’s just too hard.”
“Well, obviously you didn’t want it enough to work
for it,” JC snapped. He stood. “God, Justin, you’re such a spoiled brat
sometimes.” JC stomped out of the
recording area, leaving Justin to feel sorry for himself.
“And five, six, seven, eight, up, down, turn, kick
and spin, spin, spin…Nickolas, are you on this planet?” The choreographer
demanded.
“What? Oh, yeah, sorry.” Nick looked at his reflection in the mirror. “I’m ready.”
“I’m not. Take five,” the choreographer said in
disgust.
“Nick, are you okay?” Brian asked. “You look
like shit.”
“Thanks,” Nick said wryly.
“Seriously, Nick, you look awful. Are you sick?”
Kevin asked sympathetically.
“Kinda…” Nick said. He angrily wiped at his eyes. “Me and Justin broke up.”
“Oh, man,” Brian said, giving Nick a half hug. “I’m
sorry, dude. I know you really liked him.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Kevin suggested, and AJ
glared at him.
“Fuck off, Kevin.”
“No, really. I mean, it was just a distraction,
anyway. Maybe when this is all done,
you two can try again. Really work at
it.”
“Thanks, Kevin, but he’s not interested in working
at it,” Nick said, sighing. “I need some water.” Nick walked over to his bag.
AJ followed him.
“Bad fight?”
“He basically said that I thought my boat was more
important than he was.”
“Don’t you?”
“NO!” Nick
growled. “I don’t. It just…I wouldn’t have had time to really see him anyway,
so why waste the trip?”
“Because he’s worth it, Nick. Timberlake’s a pretty
good kid. He was worth the trip. You just didn’t think the relationship was
worth the trip,” AJ said, and he walked away.
Twenty-Six
“Hey, Justin,
he’s kinda hot,” Chris said, discreetly pointing at another singer they
knew. “And I know for a fact he swings
our way.”
“Thanks but no thanks,” Justin said, looking up
briefly as they headed to their limo.
“And just WHY are you checking out the other guys?”
Lance demanded of Chris.
“He’s looking for Justin,” Joey jumped in. “Right?”
“It’s not like I’m looking for myself,” Chris said
as they climbed into the vehicle. “I have all I can handle with this young’un
here.”
“I’m NOT a young’un,” Lance said, annoyed.
“Lance, you were barely born in the seventies. THAT
makes you a young’un,” Chris said. “And I likes ‘em young!”
“You two,” JC said fondly, then looked at Justin.
“How long has it been, Justin?”
“TOO long,” Justin said. “And I’m not interested in
anyone else so don’t even try it, okay? Thanks but I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” Chris said. “Someone who has the
opportunity all over the place to get laid but says no is NOT fine.”
“If I remember correctly, like eight months ago,
you and Lance were bitching at me when I
TRIED to get laid,” Justin said. “Just quit being a matchmaker, okay?”
“You’d think five months would be long enough to
get over a broken heart,” Chris mumbled. “He’s just a Backstreet Boy.”
“Will you quit saying that?” Justin snapped.
“And it’s never long enough to get over a broken
heart,” JC said. Everyone looked at
him. “Let’s see what you would do if Lance dumped your fat ass, Chris. You’d be
fucking miserable. So don’t even try to judge Justin, okay?”
“Thanks, C,” Justin said gratefully. He lay his
head on JC’s shoulder and said no more.
“So…I’m thinking bigass party…girls girls boys and
girls…” AJ said, rubbing his hands together. “Lot’s of pretty boys and
girls. You can take your pick.”
“I’m not interested,” Nick said, flopping onto AJ’s
couch.
“Nick, you turn twenty-two next week. You need a party.”
“Aje, I love you, but the LAST thing I need is a
party.”
“We could invite NSYNC. You could drown Justin in the pool,” AJ suggested. “I'll even
donate MY house to the cause.”
“Thanks, AJ, but no.” Nick shook his head. “He’s the last person I want to see.”
“You’re a sucky liar,” AJ observed. “You still love
the FroBoy and you know it.”
“So,” Nick mumbled.
“So get on with your life, dude. I hate seeing you
all miserable.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“I know it’s impossible to do…move on…but I think
you can. There’s better people out
there then Timberlake.”
“Yeah,” Nick said, but it was obvious he didn’t
really believe it.
“Texas?” Justin said, shutting the door behind him.
He dropped the rest of the mail on the table and opened the manila
envelope. “Jesse!” Justin said out
loud, smiling at the thought of his friend.
Jesse called on a regular basis, but he had never sent anything in the
mail.
“Justin, I remembered that your birthday was this
week, and I thought this might make a nice gift. My sister got her pictures developed, and I finally got around to
blowing this one up for you. I hope you
like it. Say hi to Florida for us.
Happy birthday from Jesse, Michael, Max, Alex and the guys.”
Justin put down the note and looked at the
picture. A very large knot started in
his stomach and settled in his throat.
It was an 8x10 picture of him and Nick, seated on a bench near the
basketball court. They were sitting
close together, laughing about something.
Nick had an arm around the back of the bench, and Justin was laughing so
hard he was bent over. Their eyes were meeting, however, and the
closeness of the two men was obvious.
Justin sat down hard and closed his eyes.
“Cool. Mail for me,” Nick said, slitting the
envelope without even looking at it. Very
few people had his home address, so he knew it was pretty safe. “A birthday card?” It was January 30, and his birthday had come and gone. He tried to ignore the fact that Justin’s
birthday was the very next day. He read
the card out loud. “Hey, Florida, Jesse’s sister got her pictures developed,
and we blew this one up for your big day. Hope you and Justin are fine, and
hope you two have nice birthdays.
Michael, Max, Jesse, Alex, et cetera.” Nick looked at the picture of he
and Justin on a park bench and he felt pain shoot through him. He missed Justin so bad it hurt. They were so happy in this picture, and so
obviously in love. He closed his eyes
and felt Justin’s arms around him. His
heart pounded and he could hear Justin calling his name.
“Nick? Nick! Open the door!”
Nick’s eyes flew open. That wasn’t his heart, it
was someone pounding on the door. He went down the hall and slowly opened the
door. Justin stood on his front step,
tears in his eyes. “Yes?” Nick said,
trying to remain calm. Justin was
miserable and sad and beautiful.
“I…got a picture…and, oh, fuck, Nick, I’m sorry,”
Justin said. Nick grabbed him by the
shirt and dragged him in the house. He
took the picture from Justin’s hand. It was the same one that he had just been
looking at. “I love you so much…miss you so much…” Justin babbled.
“Shut up, Justin.” Nick pulled Justin into a fierce
kiss. Justin sighed and wrapped his
arms around Nick. “I missed you, too,”
Nick whispered. “And I’m sorry I said
such awful things. My boat could never be more important than you. NOTHING is.”
“I was so miserable without you, Nick,” Justin
said, crying against Nick’s shoulder. “I don’t want anyone else but you…and
nothing will come before you ever EVER again.”
“I have to tour soon,” Nick sniffled.
“I’ll come see you…every chance I get,” Justin
promised. “We’re not letting this fall apart again. I won’t let you go.”
“Me, either,” Nick swore, kissing Justin again.
They fell to the floor of the hallway, kissing and talking and crying.
The
End
Please tell Lara what you thought of this story!